


Agent Chetiri

by cumberwookie



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), Sherlock - Fandom, Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Bondlock, F/M, M/M, Russia, Spies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-01-03 22:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 230,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1073637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cumberwookie/pseuds/cumberwookie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all have secrets to keep, some more so than others. What a seemingly unassuming woman named Alexandra hides, however, is a tale of espionage, murder, ending with a harrowing escape to London. She keeps her secret carefully hidden away, but soon finds that the figures from her past could not only endanger her own life but also threaten a certain Quartermaster as well. QxOC, set in Bondlock universe!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first story! It's on fanfiction.net in addition to being here. I suppose it's a shot in the dark, since it's Q paired with an OC but I hope you enjoy it anyway. 
> 
> Anyway, I made a lot of additions, took a lot of stuff out, and changed a lot (except the author's notes, those are generally the same). Stuff that is also the same is the fact that it is set in the Bondlock universe. Mummy Holmes is still there, but father Holmes is deceased. John is now married to his assassin wife, Mary.
> 
> Aside from that, there are new chapters that I inserted so you should probably go back through the whole story and read all of it to get the gist. I tried to add more depth, so I hope that you like the new additions that I added!  
> Any constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Happy reading!

_While each child is born with his or her own distinct genetic potential for physical, social, emotional and cognitive development, the possibilities for reaching that potential remain tied to early life experiences and it is difficult to determine if a child from a troubled past can change._

**_-Bernice Weissbourd_ **

* * *

It is the never ending debate of nature versus nurture. Many parents and sociologists alike struggle to find the answer, if our character was caused by nurturing or our human nature. Is a person good or bad because they just are or is it more complex than that? Are we, as human beings, naturally villainous or does the answer lay in how we were raised?

And more importantly, can we change for good?

For one young woman, the answer to this age old question was not as simple as it seemed. She had faced many complications in her life and for a while, it was hard for her to determine whether or not she could change.

Her name was Alexandra Zarya Nikolova. She was a bright and rather pleasant young girl, with dark brown hair and grey eyes. Alexa was born on November 10, 1985 in the humble town of Kodino, which was a few hours northeast of glittering lights of St. Petersburg. She had been born to a pair of hard-working upper middle class parents, Dmitri and Natalia.

Her mother had long dark hair and crisp blue-green eyes that were full of life. She was a willowy lady who, at Alexa's birth, retired her job as a typist. Her mother carried a certain grace to her movements and demeanor and would always wear a small necklace of pearls around her neck, even when they were just at home. As a child, Alexa always rushed up to her mother to give her a hug and to simultaneously smell her fragrant rose perfume. Together, they would sing or dance to a song on the radio or cook together in the kitchen.

Her father, in contrast, was a taller, more muscular man who sported fair blonde hair and sharp grey eyes. He had a booming laugh that Alexa loved and was a kind father who doted on his family. He was the doctor at the local hospital, but that did not stop him from being with Alexa and his wife. Alexa was a frequent figure at his office and would play with the stethoscope that she always saw in his bag. Much to her mother's dismay, they would go hunting together occasionally in the forest behind their home.

Their home was located on the outskirts of Kodino, which overlooked a large green pasture. It was a large and lovely home and their only neighbors were a mile away. She had a relatively normal childhood, playing tag with her mother as they went into the field. Alexa also made regular trips to see her grandmother, Tatiana, with a family dinner each Sunday. She was happy in this life and in her naïveté, thought that life would always be like this. In that sense, the problem itself had not stemmed from her home life, but rather at school.

In 1989, education in Russia still followed a system set by the Soviet Union, with preschool education for ages three to five being monitored by local authorities. The system went through radical changes frequently and when Alexa entered preschool at the tender age of three, she was put under examinations for the track system. A track system education was a system based on giving the child a test and further examining their abilities to determine which job would be best for them. Once put on such a track, they would not be allowed to learn any other subjects that would make them stray from their educational path.

With the deteriorating state of the Soviet Union in 1989, however, the government took more of an interest in these young children in the hopes that they could be moulded and fashioned to their will, to breed the ultimate killer who could infiltrate foreign governments in order to bring more power to a collapsing government.

In turn, an operation was formed, called "Operation Chetiri". Chetiri was the word for the number four, which was said to be associated with death. Hence, the operation came to be. It was very hush hush, so to speak, and few people were aware of what was really going on. The government had cleverly disguised it as a test to supplement the track system but in reality, all children who qualified would be sent to a facility in the forest, near the border of Estonia. The nearest town was Plyussa, which was several hours away. Once they were in the program, the children would be trained and essentially fight for the title of "Agent Chetiri", which was considered to be the highest goal. It was the mark of a true killer, one who could bring down nations if they so chose.

To put the plan in motion, a representative from the government was placed in every town and city to monitor the children, to see which prospects would qualify for this operation and they would send men to perform the necessary actions to ensure the child's position in the program. When Alexa took her exam, she had passed the exam and upon further examination by the town's government representative, he concluded that she was indeed qualified for the program. Her parents were informed that she could attend an "elite school" and naturally, they were delighted. What they didn't know, however, was that the child had to have nothing left to come back to, in order to assure that all loose ends were tied up. In turn, soldiers were sent to Alexa's home in order to take Alexa and leave her parents to die.

On December 22, 1989, the men had arrived at the house during their supper. Alexa had not understood what they wanted and she hadn't known why she was sent away while her parents talked to them, but she would soon be glad that they had done so. It was only when she had heard a loud, echoing gunshot and her mother's scream that she realized that she had to run away. Though she was only four, she recognized the sound from when her father would take her hunting with him and she knew that the sound meant that something (or rather, someone) was dead.

She had burst out of the house whilst clutching the only remnants of her past that remained, which was a photograph of her with her parents and a key to the house, secured around her necklace. Alexa had run into the safety of the dark forest, shivering and knee deep in the snow. She had done her best not to look back, upon hearing more gunshots follow.

Alexa remembered hearing her mother screaming her name for the last time before one final gunshot was fired, one that echoed through the trees. The young girl had charged blindly into the snowy woods, going further and further until she had tripped on a tree root and fell to the ground with a cry of pain. Alexa had lay there in tears at knowing that her mother and father would never come back, and that she was alone.

The soldiers had found her that night, lying underneath a large, rotting tree root and as much as she flailed and resisted, they did not relent. Their job was to get her, and they would not take no for an answer. She was taken to the facility in down near Plyussa where they began training her and even after the formal dissipation of the Soviet Union in 1991, the program still remained active and functional, though no longer with government involvement. The program was continued by the four pillar members who started the operations, who called themselves the Agency. They were connected with the underground world of crime, and wished to use these young criminals for their personal purposes. They intended to see this program to the bitter end and in one way or another, they would produce one of the world's best killers.

Initially, they had began with thirty terrified children from every part of Russia. Alexa sympathized with them, knowing that they had all gone through the same thing but as the training began, the others soon lost sight of who they used to be. It was a constant fight to be the best, leaving no room for forging friendships.

The facility itself was conducted much like a school. There was a cafeteria, rooms on the second floor, a main courtyard for congregation, and classrooms on the first floor. The courses taught in the classrooms were tough, vigorously drilling her to excel in mathematics, language, geography, self-defense, weapon handling, science, history, and technology.

Alexa was taught to speak in Russian and English and also to write and read in both the Cyrillic and English alphabet. It had taken her a bit longer to learn each language but in about five years, she was fluent in both Russian and English. In the afternoon, she was taught to handle a firearm and shoot various weapons, everything from guns to arrows. Alexa was not used to holding such weapons and was mediocre, to say the least, in both her shooting and weapons handling class. However, the teacher had pushed her to be better, with the threat of being reprimanded looming over her head. Her aim soon improved and she became quicker and stronger, becoming another average face in the class.

Alexa had also never been too keen on remembering historical facts and geographical landmarks but made up for it in science, since the thought of always being constantly inquisitive appealed to her. Nevertheless, her primary interests were actually technology and math. Alexa learned whatever she could from those classes and slightly neglected her other studies because they were irrelevant to her interests.

The children were also placed in a sport and a humanity class to learn as well, in an effort to maintain a well rounded soldier. Alexa was put in gymnastics and ballet, and never chose to learn any art besides those two. The only art she had hated to learn was the art of social interaction. They believed that to be a successful killer, you had to be charming and amiable with everyone. A woman would come by every Tuesday and Thursday to teach them about proper conversational skills and etiquette. It was really quite dull but most of the students found the basic skill of proper communication to be simple, except for Alexa. She was naturally quiet, finding idle chatter unnecessary, and it made learning this skill much more difficult than it really should have been.

However, most children where overwhelmed by such a variety of topics and by the time Alexa was eleven, eight had already committed suicide, having cracked under such pressure. Alexa quickly learned that if you didn't comply with their demands, you were as good as dead. She had only disobeyed their demands once and they had inscribed the word "chetiri" on her lower back with a knife. Although the scar had faded to a dull white, it was a marking that she would bear for the rest of her life, reminding her of what she was raised to be: a killer.

Nevertheless, she kept in mind that she was not born a killer and she was born as Alexandra Nikolova. Most of the other children had forgotten about their past already but she desperately clung onto it, seeing that it was the only memory she had of her parents, save for the photograph she had and the key to her home. She promised to never forget who she was, because she knew it was what her parents would have wanted.

Alexa's innate sense of self-preservation saved her through these years and she abided by their rules, playing the game as she was taught. It was a hell that she had to endure for twelve years, a necessary evil. On the outside, she had grown to be one of their best operatives and seemed cold and unfeeling to anything. However, she still remained the same on the inside, cringing every time she made a kill and looking for every chance to escape. It would require a considerable amount of effort to do so, but it wasn't entirely impossible. All she had to do was wait for the opportunity.

In time, the numbers went from thirty all the way down to two. Eight had committed suicide and six had not complied to their demands and were killed. Six had died as a result of being overworked and eight were killed in the result of brawls amongst the children. The remaining survivors were Alexa and a boy named Peter Czerny. Alexa and Peter were soon given assassinations to handle, under the watchful eye of several guards. They were not allowed to go off on their own yet but were paid quite a bit of money, just for doing the dirty work. At the age of seventeen, the leaders of the operation (group of figures called the Agency) decided that it was time to unleash them upon the real world, to take it on alone. It was the final test, to see who was the best.

Alexa was sent to Belarus to kill a high ranking government official, Anton Stoichkov, who knew enough about the Russian defense system to know that they were up to something. He thought that they were constructing a bomb of some sort, which they were. She had seven days to complete the kill, which gave her enough time to construct a new identity and gave her a way out of this lifestyle. It would give her a chance to form her own path and not merely follow the one the Agency had decided for her.

It was a long process, but she did everything she could to ensure that all loose ends were tied up. She had prepared legal papers and alibis to ensure that her life would go on without any trouble. Alexa had applied to a university in London, where she would start on her degree in Computer Science. Then, Alexa had knocked out the security cameras and planted the bomb in the study of Anton's home. Alexa had knocked out one of the maids that most resembled her (in terms of body type) and used her outfit to disguise herself. Alexa then went in to give Anton his tea at the study and drugged him so he wouldn't get away. She then left the body of the unconscious maid on the floor and headed to the basement of the house, where she escaped unseen.

The bomb had gone off a minute later and Alexa was relieved to see that her duo's fiery fate was ensured. Her life could finally begin as she wanted it to be, not under the desires of another. She had felt lighter now, like she was truly free. The path that Operation Chetiri had shaped (the one she had been so set to pursue) didn't even feel like it was there anymore. She was now free to create her own life with her own choices, mistakes, and desires. She put her past away and went all the way to France, avoiding the company of others until she reached England, where she hoped to live a new life with a clean slate.

But despite her numerous transgressions and offences, she wondered, had she changed?

Or could she never escape what she was raised to be?

 


	2. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! This one actually has dialogue now, so that'll be good :)
> 
> Enjoy reading!

_Very few of us are what we seem._

**_-Agatha Christie_ **

* * *

It has always been said to never judge a person by their cover, for it could lead to misconceptions and possibly awkward situations. But as you walk along the streets, you cannot help but wonder:

What secrets lie beneath the surface, waiting to be revealed?

* * *

After her escape from Operation Chetiri, Alexa had moved to England under the alias of "Alexandra Abbott". She had pooled together the money she had received from her assassinations (which barely covered her tuition and living expenses) and went to study at King's College for computer science. It was a lovely college, and she was prosperous and content. Her social interaction skills were still subpar and to be frank, she had not made a single friend. After six long (and somewhat lonely) years, she had obtained her master's degree in computer science in 2008. Although Alexa did not graduate at the top of her class, she was fairly close and placed second to a man whose name she could not recall.

After her studies had finally concluded, she used her degree to land a job in network security at Enigma Technologies, a technology company based in London. She worked in the network security branch on developing new ways to improve the company's security software, which protected banks and businesses around the city. Alexa worked as a regular employee for two years before deciding to reach a higher position where she would have better pay and more access to the technology at the office.

Alexa believed that the best way to protect yourself from hackers was to become one, so she used her spare time learning the art of hacking. It had taken two more years before she implemented this newfound knowledge in their security system, which helped her to rise above the ranks to become the head of network security in her department.

It was only fair to say that life for her was quite good, but she could not help but become bored by her job at Enigma Tech. Her co-workers were rather dull, only speaking to her on businesslike terms and to be completely honest, she wanted to do more than protect the businesses and banks of London. She wanted to go further somehow, but she did not where to go from here. Her answer would later come from a rather unexpected place, more specifically, at the Barbican Tube station.

Alexa walked out of the Enigma Technology building at around 8:13 PM on September 10, 2012, wrapping her jacket around her. It was a rather exhausting day and she found herself feeling drained. She had worn a black blazer today, paired with a white sweater that had small, blue stripes. Unlike any businesswoman, she had actually worn flats, like a sensible person and a pair of comfortable black slacks.

She jogged down the steps and scanned her pass before taking a seat at a bench. The platform was not very full at the moment, save for the occasional person coming into the station. She pulled out a book on computer viruses from her purse and began to read until her train arrived.

Alexa had gone about ten pages into the book before she heard soft footsteps from the staircase beside her. She did not look up and flipped to the next page of her book. Moments later, she heard the footsteps coming her way before the person sat down next to her on the bench.

"Computer Viruses: from Theory to Applications by Eric Filiol. Certainly an unusual choice," they said.

Alexa looked up suddenly to meet the eyes of a man who looked to be about her age, with tousled brown hair and green eyes. He wore glasses and she found him rather cute, if not, handsome. She dropped her gaze immediately, almost afraid to look at him for any longer and stared at her book. He seemed familiar somehow and she really couldn't place why this was so. Her brain scrambled to form a complete and appropriate sentence in response and after a moment, she finally spoke.

"I...find it relevant to my interests," Alexa said, shrugging slightly. The man studied her carefully, in order to make various deductions about her that could tell him if she was dangerous or not. She was rather thin, with slender bones, small hands, and narrow wrists that made her look girlish and fine-limbed. She had a small, upturned nose and high cheekbones that contrasted with her striking grey eyes.

She was more on the shorter side of the height spectrum, about 5' 4" (162 cm) without any heels and she was dressed nicely, but not so much as to classify her as a businesswoman. He determined her to be an average civilian, with a higher class job in technology, it seemed. There was a faint accent in her voice that he could not quite place and her pleasant features seemed to hide her wary eyes. She was suspicious of him as well, so he would have to proceed with caution.

"Someone with an interest in computer viruses wasn't the kind of thing I expected to find in a Tube station," he replied as he leaned back into the bench. His tone was the perfect mix between informing and condescending, so she could not tell if he was poking fun at her or merely stating a fact. Although she was aware of the potentially dangerous situations that could occur with associating with a stranger, she did not edge away because she knew that she could take him down if she chose to. Besides, he knew what she was talking about so she figured there was no harm in chatting with him. However, there was something about him that was different and she was cautious of him, despite his unassuming features.

"What were you expecting to find?" she said, her words coming out a bit too sharp for her liking. Alexa inwardly cringed and fell silent, hoping that she didn't offend him with her tone of voice.

"I don't know. Certainly not you. What is it about this that interests you, Miss...?" he said, his voice trailing off.

Alexa met his questioning stare and set her book down on her lap. "I'm Alexa," she said. "And you are?"

The man seemed to pause for a moment before holding out a hand. "Call me Q," he replied, smiling vaguely. Her brow furrowed and she stared at him disbelievingly.

"Do you honestly expect me to believe that your name is a letter?" she said skeptically.

"No, of course not," he scoffed. "I merely prefer going by this name."

"Ah, I see," she said softly, nodding in comprehension. "What was your earlier question?"

"I was wondering why such a subject was relevant to your interests," he replied. There was something in her that had struck him as intriguing and he wanted to know why she knew more about technology than the average person. She did not hesitate to answer him this time, because she saw genuine interest to the topic.

"Well, I'm looking at virus creation and possible implementation. There are about a million different ways you could do it, and I just wanted to see what kind of zero-day attacks I might see in the future. I've come up with a few ideas, but I'm doing a bit more reading to see what I else can come up with," she replied.

"That's certainly unusual. I'm sure that there are different viruses that someone could generate, like a virus that examines network transmissions from any party. A quantum-based attack or an algorithm compromise could break encryption at each host application level," Q said casually. "The qubit created from horizontal polarization can still be intercepted by that virus whilst going through the horizontal/vertical beam splitter. A man in the middle attack, so to speak, except not a true physical attack. It would be a data mining attack."

Her eyes lit up and she nodded, glad to see that he actually understood what she was attempting to do. "You're right. That's not a bad idea for a zero day attack. I'm sure someone out there could come up with it, and it's up to us to figure out how to get around it," she said. Q nodded silently and quickly realised that Alexa was not the average computer geek he met in the city. She at least had some kind of purpose in mind, and he figured it would be important to know what it was.

"Do you mind telling me what this is all for?" he asked. "It's not every day I meet someone who's intent on making a secure system.

"It's just fascinating to me," she replied vaguely.

"I see," he replied. Q stopped briefly and glanced at the train that was arriving. They both stood up to get on and instead of sitting away from him, Alexa found herself next to the mysterious Q once more. He did not seem to mind, so she decided to ask the one question that had been on her mind this entire time. Unfortunately, it had been at the same exact time he decided to ask her as well so it came to be that they both spoke.

"Have I-" he began.

"Look, have we-" she started to say. Alexa immediately stopped and clamped a hand over her mouth in surprise. "Sorry, you go first," she said, her cheeks turning a distinct shade of pink in embarrassment. How she hated social interactions! She was utter rubbish at them!

Q smirked lightly, at seeing how shy she really was. He glanced at the sign on the wall before returning his gaze to her. "No, it's fine. What were you going to say?" he asked.

"This is going to sound completely ridiculous, but you seem familiar. I'm not quite sure why," Alexa finally confessed. His eyebrows raised slightly and he nodded slowly.

"Strange. I was about to say the same for you," Q replied. His memory contained a vague glimpse of her but nothing more, which was natural. He had an eidetic memory but his mind was like a computer. It deleted things that he found to have no importance. Apparently, where he had seen her was deemed unimportant by him and therefore deleted. However, he had a hunch that it was at least at something important, as she left some traces of her identity. Maybe it was at university, he thought to himself.

She looked surprised and toyed absentmindedly with the edge of her book. "Have you worked with the government at all?" he asked, upon thinking that she had maybe interned for them at some point.

"No, I haven't," she replied, shaking her head. This seemed to puzzle him further and he tapped his fingers against his knee, thinking of any way that he could have seen her. She could not place where on earth she had seen him and within minutes, they had arrived at Euston Square station.

"Well, this is me. It was nice to meet you, Q," she said. She stood up and grabbed the handrail on the side of the train to steady herself.

"It was lovely to meet you as well," he said. "Have a good evening."

Alexa said goodbye and soon stepped into Euston Square station. She slung her purse over one shoulder and walked to the stairs, letting out a sigh as she went up. Alexa had never talked to a stranger like that, much less about computer viruses.

She headed home and found herself thinking about Q more than she really should have been; her thoughts were mostly about his intelligence. Although she had only seen a brief glimpse of it, she knew that he was likely more intelligent than her, and she found some small part in herself that hoped that he would be there again tomorrow.

About a week passed until their paths crossed once more. Alexa was still working on the same problem of her security system but Q actually faced one of his own. Although it had been several months since the Raoul Silva incident, a few of his men had remained. They had found two of his men in the Q-Branch and the numbers of his employees had gone from eight to a mere six, counting himself. He needed to fill those spots somehow and he had no idea where to start his recruitment process, so to speak. M had suggested that he start looking at people internationally, but he really had no time to do so.

The only person whom he could possibly think of was Alexa, but he didn't know too much about her yet. Sure, he had been keeping a keen eye on her for the past few days but he was otherwise still in the dark about who she really was. However, he was intent on seeing her to figure out more about her, to see if she would be a probable candidate for a position in the Q-Branch.

That evening, Alexa had headed out of the building a bit later than she usually did because she had been working on designing her secure system. She headed down the stone steps as usual and scanned her pass, sitting on another bench as she waited for her train. Alexa took out the book she had been looking at for the past few days, a novel about implementation and began to read.

The world and all its noise did not reach her as she became engrossed in her book, her mind working to find the solutions for new attacks that she thought she might see in the future. It would be ten minutes before she returned back to reality, when a voice seemed to break her trance.

"I see you've got something new this time," he said. She looked up, a startled expression covering her features. Alexa had been so deep in thought that she hadn't really expected anyone to bother her. When she realized that it was just Q, she set her book on her lap and looked back up at him.

"It's a different book, but it's the same problem," she said.

"I take it that you haven't resolved your dilemma?" he said as he sat down next to her.

"I've come up with some ideas, but other than that, I haven't really gotten anywhere on any possible solutions. It's frustrating," she said, looking irritated.

"You won't give up, though. Am I correct in that assumption?" he replied.

"Precisely," Alexa said. She glanced at him briefly, attempting to find some deduction that she could retaliate with but she found none of specific use. Alexa sighed and returned her gaze to the passing people on the platform.

"Why do I keep running into you?" she finally said. "Are you doing this on purpose?"

"Not at all. But we really can't just keep running into each other like this. Why don't we go have a coffee?" he suggested, after carefully considering his words. He had never really attempted to get close to anyone like this before but it was what his job required him to do so. Q saw her hesitate momentarily but she merely shrugged and stood up.

"Right now? That certainly doesn't sound like a bad idea," Alexa said. She put her book back in her purse and the two headed back up the steps, walking silently next to each other. Alexa and Q went to a coffee shop down the street called Betsy's and took a seat at a booth next to the window.

"What can I get you two?" the waitress said as she handed them a small menu.

"I'll take a decaf, with two sugars and milk," Alexa replied as she glanced at the paper in her hands.

"I'll have a cup of Earl Grey with a splash of milk," Q replied. The woman rushed off to put their orders in and Alexa turned back to face him, wringing her hands nervously in her lap.

"May I ask you something?" she said hesitantly.

"Ask away," he replied with a shrug.

"Who exactly are you?" she blurted out. Upon noticing that her sentence wasn't exactly what she wanted to say, she hastily rephrased it. "I mean, you know exactly what I'm talking about when I mentioned the zero-day attacks. Not just anyone can do that, so why can you?"

"I'm not a malignant figure. I'm just someone who can understand computer viruses because it interests me. It's not like the trivial information in the world that can be deleted. Information like that should be stored away and kept because it is of interest," Q said.

"Why?" Alexa said, her grey eyes peering curiously into his. Q knew that he could not answer her directly and instead, attempted to answer her question with one of his own.

"Why not? Security is an ever evolving thing with today's technology and I...choose to keep up, to make sure I'm not in any real danger. What about you?" he said evasively.

"It's my job. I have to be interested or else I'll go broke," Alexa said lightheartedly. The waitress came by, momentarily putting a stop to their conversation and she set down two steaming mugs of tea and coffee.

"And your job is?" Q said as he took a sip of his tea.

"Well, I should introduce myself properly. We did meet at the Tube station, so I only think it would be fair. But if I tell you who I am, you have to tell me who you are," she replied.

"I can't promise that," he said, giving her an enigmatic smirk.

"Then I won't say anything," Alexa said stubbornly. They stared at each other for several moments before Q felt pressured under her gaze, something that never happened before He found this rather odd, and also found her much more tenacious than she looked.

"I'll give you at least a few things," he said coolly. She seemed satisfied by this answer and leant back in her chair.

"Good. I'm Alexandra Abbott. I work as a head of network security at Enigma Technologies," she said. Something seemed to click in his mind and he finally figured out what her name meant to him. A glimpse of his university graduation flashed through his mind and he now recalled the silent woman that had accepted the title of being second best to him.

"So that's why you looked so familiar," he muttered.

"Why? What is it?" she said, looking startled.

"I've heard your name before. You graduated from the University of Cambridge in 2008," he replied. Her eyes flickered with momentary confusion and something akin to suspicion but she merely shrugged at him.

"I do recall that I've seen you somewhere, so I suppose that was it," Alexa said.

"Well, I'm glad you don't remember my name then. Terrible one, mind you," he replied matter-of-factly. Q took another drink of his tea and set it down in front of him again. "So, Enigma Technologies. I've heard that name several times in the news. What is it that your company does again?"

"We protect the banks and businesses of London," Alexa said, attempting to sound enthusiastic. He acknowledged her pseudo-enthusiastic demeanor with a smirk of his own.

"You hate your job, don't you?" Q said, looking amused.

"Oh god, yes," Alexa said instantaneously. She saw the error in her words, seeing that it was bad to criticize her own occupation.

"Well, I mean, I don't exactly hate it. It's nice but it's just a bit...dull, I suppose," she confessed. "I'm sorry, this is just coming out all wrong."

"No, it's fine," Q said shrugged, not minding her honesty. "What exactly is it that bores you?"

"Well, don't get me wrong. I like working on our security system but to put it simply, I'm bored. I'm only twenty-seven and being bored now is a bad thing. I have a lot of my life left to live and I just...don't want to confine myself to protecting banks and businesses for the rest of my life. I want to reach a bit higher and find something worthwhile to protect but I have no idea what that would be. Therefore, I am stuck at my current job at Enigma," Alexa confessed. Q remembered his current dilemma and took the last sip of his tea.

"I might be able to help with that, actually," he replied.

"How so?" she said, looking puzzled.

"I'd like you to answer this for me first. Would you ever consider leaving your job now, considering your current success?" Q said.

"Well...I suppose so, if the new job is something worthwhile. But I have nothing better to go to," Alexa said with a shrug.

"Would you consider yourself good at what you do?" he said as he pulled out £5 from his wallet.

"I...think so, but that's really not for me to judge," she said as she looked down at her coffee cup. Alexa's eyes flickered with alarm as he set the money on the table and stood up.

"Wait, where are you going?" Alexa said, looking startled.

"We'll see how good you are soon enough. I hope to contact you again in a few days, Alexa," he said as he put his coat on. He exited the cafe, leaving her in stunned silence. It took her a minute to recover from his sudden departure, but she merely sighed and headed home as well. She did not understand what he had meant by his words but she figured that it wouldn't be too terrible. He did say that he didn't have malignant intentions.

However, she truly had no idea of the events to come and how they would shape her life for the year ahead. He had the upper hand now and all she could do was to watch and wait for Q's next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I would like to hear back from everyone and I hope you can leave a review to let me know what else I can do with this story. I hope you're all enjoying it so far!


	3. Chapter 2

_The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination._

_**-Albert Einstein** _

* * *

After his meeting with Alexa, Q had headed back home and immediately got to work on making sure that she would have the abilities and qualifications to work in the Q-Branch. If everything in her legal papers checked out, he would then devise a plan that would both allow him to see how she really worked whilst giving her the opportunity to figure out that she did have some higher purpose than protecting the banks and businesses of London.

The next day, he decided to head to work a little earlier than usual. He usually came in first to the office anyway, but today he was early by about twenty minutes. Q logged onto his laptop and typed in her name on the national database servers. In about thirty minutes, he had been able to access her files and he printed a hard copy for M to look at later.

Upon his first glance, her papers looked more or less like everyone else's. Q found that she was born as Alexandra Georgia Abbott and brought up in an orphanage in Dover. Her teen years were generally uneventful; she was a rather quiet, reclusive child, who preferred to blend in with the crowd. In university, she had allowed her professors to catch a glimpse of her creative mind, where she had created new algorithms to benefit the advancement of her technological endeavors. After excelling in college, she then completed her schooling with a master's degree in Computer Science from the University of Cambridge, ranking only second to him upon graduating. The rest he was aware of, that she had gone to work at Enigma Tech. What he did not know, however, was that some of this was fictitious. Alexa was as careful as she seemed, and she had taken painstaking steps to ensure that each path to her past lead to a dead end. Her past was carefully crafted, but the less he knew about her real identity, the better things would be.

Q then spent the remainder of that day making sure that her background was correct by contacting her former professors and receiving their opinions about her. Although their words varied, they all generally said that she was "initially shy, yet intelligent", and that she would do well in a challenging and inventive environment.

He called the city hall in Dover to get in contact with the owner of the orphanage Alexa had lived at to ensure that this was all correct. However, he soon found that the orphanage she had been raised at had gone out of business and the former owner had died of liver cancer in 2007. This did not deter nor dishearten him, since it wasn't really her childhood he was looking at. All he had to do was make sure that she was not affiliated with any unsavory characters and that she would be capable of doing her job. She had surely passed his inspection on competency, but her lack of verification in her past years intrigued him.

After delving deeper in his search, he was left vaguely intrigued but not wholly invested. Her childhood and teen years had turned out to be quiet and generally boring. She did not have a history of political involvement, nor did she have a criminal history (domestic and international). As he contemplated on hiring her, M's pressure for him to find a new replacement took a stronger hold, and he decided to hire her. Even with his decision, he knew that everyone had a few demons (even him, admittedly), and he would have to keep an eye out to see if she had any from her past that were problematic.

The next day, Q had decided that it was time to see M, so that his plan to recruit Alexa would be approved. He picked up the folder with Alexa's files and walked briskly down the stone hallway, towards M's office. Q knocked lightly on the door before walking in to meet the eyes of his boss, Gareth Mallory, who was now the new M.

"Ah, Q. You're earlier than usual today, which is saying something. What brings you here?" he said as he stood up.

"I've come on the premise of hiring a new employee," Q said as he approached M's desk.

"You finally found a replacement?"

"Upon your insistence," Q said, smirking lightly.

"Hmm. How on earth did you find one so quickly?" M said as he sat back down.

"I have my ways," Q said vaguely, unwilling to tell M that he had met her a few days ago.

"I see. Who is this person and what is it about them that requires my attention? As far as I'm concerned, the Q-Branch and all of its affairs are under your jurisdiction," he said.

"Her name is Alexandra Abbott. She and I graduated together from the same university and she came in second, with me at the top spot," he explained.

"An old friend of yours, then?" M said.

"You know me, M. I don't have friends," Q scoffed. "However, she is the head of network security for Enigma Technologies in London and I would like to test her abilities before I hire her."

"What does this little test entail, Q? Nothing too troublesome, I hope," he replied.

"The test I want to conduct is different from the usual and require a bit of imaginative thinking to crack. I would like to send a virus to attack the security system of Enigma Technologies. It will show me if I want to have her around. However, this would also require hacking into their security system and I'm not exactly sure if I can do that," Q said.

"Ah, I see. You need my permission to do something slightly illegal," M said with a nod. "Well, you have to make sure that they won't be able to trace it back to us, network-wise. Just leave your target a generic message, yet something you can both comprehend. And I'm sure you'll be able to do that, won't you?"

"I would be ashamed if I didn't," he replied.

"You have my permission to attack their network, then," M said as he leaned back in his seat.

"Thank you, sir. She should be in the Q-Branch in the next few days," Q said.

"Excellent. That takes care of that issue," M said. Q excused himself and quickly left the office to begin work on executing his plan. He wanted to make the virus, take down their firewall, unleash his creation, and see what would happen next.

He went back to his laptop and began by designing the replication mechanism for a type-executable virus under DOS. The file format's code always started at the address 0x100, so he would design the virus to attach itself to the end of the Task Manager executable file and replace the instruction at 0x100, rerouting it back to its initial address. In turn, the viral code would always execute whenever the file was clicked. He anticipated that in the event of a network attack in which he would hijack their entire system, everyone would usually begin by opening Task Manager, so this virus-based attack would prove effective in this case. It was an attack that would require her to stretch her imagination a little and he was looking to see if she could figure out the solution.

The second component of his virus was the payload mechanism. He would only give her about ten minutes to attempt to fix the virus attack and to get the firewall up and running again before locking the network and making random changes to several machines on the network. He had not planned to do anything else that was considered malicious but he knew that he could, if he really wanted to. Besides, this was only a test so he didn't need to ruin their system any more than he was required to.

Q worked on designing the virus for the rest of the morning and by one o'clock, he was ready to go. He was finally forced to look away from his laptop screen when he heard someone walk in.

"Hello, Q. Got any interesting inventions for me to test today?" James said as he walked into the Q-Branch.

"007, you've wrecked every single device we've designed and we've run out of ideas. You still need to pay me for those, by the way," Q muttered.

"I'll get to it eventually," he replied casually. James walked up behind him and glanced over his shoulder at the long lines of code that covered the screen. "What the hell is that?" he said, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"It's a test for someone I'm recruiting," he said.

"Who is it this time? You'd better make a good choice. Last time, you let in Silva's me-" James began.

"The folder is over there. Either shut up and watch or leave. I am busy," Q said, looking mildly irritated. His fingers ghosted over the keys and he typed quickly, his mind coming up with different values to input.

"Fine, no need to be mean," James said as he reviewed the folder. He stared at the photo of Alexa and raised an eyebrow. "Where did you find this one? She looks much too pretty to be stuck working here."

"Appearances are completely irrelevant to the job," Q said absentmindedly.

"You might want to watch out, Q. I wouldn't hire a distraction, if I were you," he said.

"Oh, please. I'm practically married to this job and I highly doubt that she would purposely distract me from my work," Q scoffed.

"Well, you never know. The last distraction that came in was Kate, and we all knew how that turned out," James said, knowing that it would be interesting to make a jab at a touchy subject.

"I didn't hire her; M did, so shut up, Bond," Q said sharply, his tone becoming more hostile and defensive.

"Fine. But if I were you, I certainly wouldn't mind having her as my distraction," James said teasingly. "How good is she?"

"She graduated second to me in university but I'll test her true abilities now. Are you going to watch or not?" he said whilst looking at him.

"I don't have anywhere else to be. Why not?" James shrugged. Q returned his gaze to his computer and began making headway into hacking Enigma Technology's firewall. It took him about five minutes to decrypt the code that made up their infrastructure and within ten minutes, he had disabled the firewall for every computer attached to the network and had near control of the system. Q merely smirked and pulled up footage from a CCTV camera feed that he had picked up, to see what would happen in the office.

"Now, we watch and we wait," he said as he folded his arms across his chest and watched as the chaos unfolded in the building.

* * *

Alexa stood quietly at the table in the center of the network security lab, where she held cables to deliver to the communications team later that afternoon. She took a drink of her coffee quietly and scrolled down on her phone screen, to see the other duties that she would have to fulfill, but she heard a sudden shout from one of her co-workers.

"Miss Abbott, the firewalls are down!" her security officer, Jack, shouted from down the hall.

Her head snapped up and she set down the cables on the table. "What? You can't be serious," she said.

"They're down on every machine. We're getting a black screen and then the firewall disabled notice," another woman called.

"What about the files? Are they safe?" she replied.

"For now, they are. Who knows how long it'll be before they get past the fifth wall?" the woman replied.

"Oh, shit!" Alexa groaned. This was the last thing she needed today and she really was not anticipating a network attack. Alexa set down her coffee and ran to the nearest phone.

"Keep it at bay for now. Figure out the source, if possible. I need to call a code red network attack," she said to her employees. "Time is of the essence, so get going!"

Alexa informed the different departments of the network attack briefly before she returned to her workstation. She saw the screen turn black before it returned to the regular desktop layout.

She looked at an overview of the network processes, her brain scrambling to find a solution. Alexa first checked the antivirus software to see if she could fix any sort of broken code that caused the system failure, but there was none. She examined a variety of programs before turning to the Task Manager program.

Alexa immediately noticed that it had already been infected by something since it would not allow her to access it, even under her administrator status. Her brow furrowed and she figured it was either malicious code or a viral based attack. If it was a virus attack, then she would need to keep it from replicating to the other systems.

"Has anyone turned on Task Manager on their machine?" she said. There were several people who raised their hands and she swore under her breath.

"Exit the Task Manager program immediately. I'm presuming this is a viral attack, so it can replicate and become contagious," she said. There was a general murmur of agreement and she turned back to her computer.

Alexa uninstalled Task Manager and rebooted it, and then checked the desktop processes. She kept a keen eye on the CPU usage statistics and general statistics and noted them down with her right hand. Any small piece of information could give her key information about the attack. She scrolled past hundreds of commands before finding the one she was searching for, taskmgrexe. Alexa then clicked on properties and began dismantling the virus from the inside, cautiously advancing into a world of code, numbers, and letters.

Alexa did not dive headfirst into her work and instead, inspected the virus from a rather sideways angle, starting from the outer layers going in. After determining what kind of virus she was dealing with, she hurried to eliminate the 0x100 instruction to keep it from controlling them any longer. Alexa pressed delete on her computer keyboard and the screens around the room flashed once before returning to their normal layout. She smirked slightly, knowing that she was on the correct track now.

"Now for the firewall," she muttered. Alexa's fingers moved swiftly over the keyboard as she repaired lines of code in the infrastructure of the firewall that she had deemed to be malicious. She repeated this process and pressed delete on her keyboard one last time, before all screens flashed black. Her brow furrowed and she waited for the machine to respond. After a few seconds, a message flashed on the screen that was somewhat alarming to her. It said:

_You're smarter than you appear to be. Looks like I underestimated you._

"Is everyone seeing this?" Alexa called. There was a general murmur of agreement and she felt her cheeks heating up in both anger and embarrassment. The message was generic enough to be from any hacker, but she had a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that it was Q. He was the only one that knew she was working on virus attacks as a side project, and this test directly involved a virus she had never seen. Q was the most likely suspect, and it infuriated her to know that this result was what had sprung forth from their conversations. In a way, she saw this as an affirmation of one value from her past: never trust anyone. She scolded herself for being so foolish and trusting, and she began working to fix her mistake.

"That bastard. I'm going to kill him, I swear," she thought angrily as she pounded away at her keyboard. Alexa was able to get the firewall back up and she erased the message, along with any other viruses that might have infiltrated the system. She checked the time on her clock and let out a sigh. Time had passed since the start of the attack and it had taken her about seven minutes to finish protecting the system. It wasn't her best time, since they rarely received widespread network attacks so she consoled herself by saying that she did alright. With this attack, however, she did not want to come forward yet and name Q as a suspect. Her suspicions had little physical evidence that would hold up in a court of law. For now, she would investigate this matter by herself first.

After fifteen minutes of reviewing information with the Computer Forensics department, her boss finally called her up to his office to chat with her. Alexa merely sighed and went up the elevator, expecting a full meltdown from her boss. Paul Harris was a very temperamental man who never really like her or her independent nature. The previous boss, Ralph Bowton, was the one who had hired and promoted her, not him. Paul had never chosen to have her as the administraor, since she was not as keen to bend to his will to please was different from her other sycophantic co-workers, and she always figured that he was looking for a way to replace her. At the very least, she expected to get shouted at, since this was one of the most terrifying network attacks they had experienced in a while. A yelling, on the other hand, which was really the last thing she needed now. Alexa stepped inside of the office, not knowing what exactly to do and she ended up just smiling at him. "Erm...hello," she said as she came in.

"What the hell was that all about?" he demanded.

"We had a network attack and I did my job," Alexa replied smoothly.

"We protect the information banks and businesses, Alexandra. We can't have breaches like that! The system you designed is obviously not able to handle as much as you said it wou-"

"It isn't the system, sir," she said sharply. "I had anticipated for all the foreseeable angles but this was an intelligent attack, from someone who clearly knew how to disable the firewall for several minutes and unleash a virus. They are not the average hacker and they had a purpose, given the message that flashed on all of the screens."

"This attack, the virus, the message from some arrogant bastard...what the bloody hell is this all about, Alexandra?" Paul shouted. "How incompetent are you exactly, to be able to let something so dangerous threaten our system-"

This comment was the final straw for Alexa. She was already pissed off, so she could not hold in her anger any further. She marched up to Paul and jabbed her finger roughly at his chest. "Listen here, you!" she shouted, with equal ferocity. "If I knew what any of this was about, I would tell you! We tried our best as a department to prevent attacks like this, but this hacker obviously deployed a zero-day attack. I fixed the problem in seven minutes and as far as I'm concerned, I did a damn good job of doing so. If that deems me as incompetent in your eyes, then I would love to see you try and defend an entire network yourself!"

Alexa didn't care for whatever he had to say next and stormed out of the office. She didn't want to be here and she wanted nothing more than to confront Q. However, there was a mess to clean up, and her department wold undoubtedly be in charge of managing it. Alexa spent the rest of the day working with the Computer Forensics team on determining the origin of the attack. The signal had been bounced and re-constructed from thousands of different locations around the world, and it seemed impossible to distinguish exactly where the message began at. The team had informed her that this was a difficult and dangerous case that would take a long time to make sense of, but she knew what they were really saying-they weren't sure if they would get anywhere with investigating this attack.

For the time being, she published and forwarded a letter to all customers of Enigma Tech to inform them of the security breach. Alexa had filed her own detailed witness report with the forensics team before handing them her now compromised computer. With all the legalities and procedures she had to follow to ensure that everything was secure, she found herself exhausted at closing time.

Alexa rose out of her seat, exhaustion fully seeping into her bones. She silently grabbed her belongings and headed down the hall when she heard her name being called once more.

"Miss Abbott, I need you in my office," her boss called as she stopped mid-step. Her brow furrowed in confusion, and she headed into the office. Alexa shut the door behind her and stood quietly in front of him.

"Yes?" she said.

"I must talk to you about your behaviour during the attack," Paul said coolly.

 _At least he's not red-faced anymore_ , Alexa inwardly snorted. She placed her hands in her pockets, and she nodded in response. "I apologize for my temper, Mr. Harris. I'm not usually prone to shouting," she said smoothly.

"That was a form of disrespect, and I do not tolerate those in any circumstances," he said tonelessly.

"I apologize," Alexa said lifelessly. "But what's to be done about this?"

"That's only part of what I wanted to talk to you about. I made a decision with the Board this afternoon, and we decided that you did not handle this situation as adequately as we hoped," he said.

Alexa tried to fight off a surprised look, and she decided to keep a calm demeanour. "Might I ask what I did wrong?" she said.

"There was a distinct lack of communication with all of the other departments when you decided to give them a vague description of what was happening, and that could have left holes for virus replication. Instead, I know it left chaos around the whole building," he said sternly. "Your performance with a zero-day attack was also considerably more of an individualized effort than a team effort than our past administrators have shown before."

Alexa bit back a sharp comment and retreated into silence. "I'm sorry, sir; I wasn't aware of those factors during the attack," she said softly.

Paul sighed and rubbed his temples. "Look, Miss Abbott...I know you have the means to fix the problem, but that doesn't mean that it's ultimately your mess to fix alone. You have to rely on your co-workers," he said. "I've been waiting for years to see your department grow as a strong team, but I haven't seen it happen yet, and it's unlikely that it will."

"If so, I'd like to know why," Alexa said, her eyes taking on a sharper gleam.

"Over the past few years, I've kept my eye on you, and I've seen your interactions around the office. You're withdrawn, and you work independently. Your personality isn't fit to lead a team, and the company won't see any growth or strong development if it stays this way," he argued.

"If it had been up to me, we would have put the concept of developing a real team first," he muttered.

She could feel a dull ache at the sound of his words, but it left her numb rather than sad. "So you're firing me, then," Alexa said flatly.

"Yes. You're fired, Miss Abbott," he said emotionlessly.

"How will this work, especially with this attack?"

"We've gathered your witness report and workstation already. Jack is still here, so he'll disable your account," he said. "We will contact you if the forensics team needs any of your information for the case."

"I will need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement and relinquish any of your company owned materials," he said as he passed her a paper. She held the pen (with shaking hands, he noted) and signed the document carefully, her mind still reeling from the news.

The next few moments were a blur as she relinquished all of her workplace materials. By the end of the evening, she was left standing outside the door of Engima Technologies with her small box of personal items. Her mind was still in a daze from her sudden firing, and she wordlessly made her way to the Tube station.

She took a quick glance at the bench where she usually met Q, but it was empty. A spark of anger flashed within her body, and she walked briskly onto the arriving train (completely unaware that someone had followed her onboard).

Her ride home was spent seething in silent fury. She was angry (actually, livid with anger) at Q for what he did and she reminded herself that nothing good came out of associating with strange men, even if they were attractive. She headed up the stone steps of the Euston Square Tube Station and began walking through the darkened streets towards her home.

She held her belongings close to her as thoughts raced in her brain. A sense of panic began to arise as her brain reached the topic of her financial situation. She had enough saved up in the bank, but it terrified her to know that finding a job would be considerably harder than before. It was true that London had a lot of fresh technological talent, but she was more concerned about the aftermath of her work with Enigma Tech. If she tried to work at another company, they would undoubtedly contact her old boss for a recommendation. Paul Harris never liked her much in the first place, and his personal dislike of her would surely affect her chances of finding a job.

Her heart pounded quickly at this thought, and panic settled into her chest. She had enough to pay the bills now, but what would happen when she ran out of money? How would she pay off the bills or her other expenses? There was always the illegal route, but this route displeased her, and she sought for a safer, low-profile alternative.

Alexa felt troubled and drifted into her own thoughts as she walked down the sidewalk. She didn't notice the drops of rain falling over her until the rain became more forceful several minutes later. The cool water against her face snapped her out of her reverie, and she stumbled forward as her box fell loudly onto the ground.

"Damn it!" she muttered. The rain began to pick up speed as she continued to pick up her scattered objects. By the time she had picked up everything, the rain had seeped into her clothes, and she was a mess on the sidewalk. Alexa caught a glimpse of her reflection in the puddle and let out a groan. She sighed, clutched her belongings close to her chest, and began to walk home.

Alexa felt the rain soaking through her clothes, and a chill crept into her bones. She shivered as she walked down the quiet street, and she opened her front door with shaking hands. As soon as the lock turned in her fingers, she burst through the door and into the warmth of her small townhouse.

"Ugh," she groaned as she shook off her shoes. Alexa trudged upstairs and tossed her wet clothes in the bathroom before coming back down in dry pyjamas and a comfortable dressing gown. As she took a seat at her kitchen table, she heard the doorbell ring from the front entrance. Her brow furrowed, but she approached the door anyway out of curiosity.

Upon looking through the peephole, her breath seized up in her chest, and she fought back a startled cry. Before she knew it, she threw the door open and stared at the man before her. "Q! What are you doing here?" she exclaimed.

"Hello, Alexa. I came by to visit," he said, giving her a casual smirk in response. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him, and she folded her arms across her chest.

"Tell me why," she said coldly.

"You know why. Everyone at Enigma Tech knows why," he said simply. The grin on his lips irritated her to no end, and she fought the urge to slam the door in his face. Suppressing it did not seem to be effective, and she consciously began shutting the door.

"Wait," he said as he blocked the door with his foot. "I would like to discuss something with you. I just need a few minutes of your time-"

"Oh, really? Just a few minutes of my time? Look, I think you've taken up more than enough of my time today," she said sarcastically.

"I'm not here on ordinary business, Alexa," Q replied, looking unperturbed. "If you're going to be uncooperative like this, maybe I should just find someone else.

She stared at him in half disbelief, half curiosity before shaking her head. "Fine. Get in here," she grumbled. Q gave her an unassuming smirk, like nothing had happened. His nonchalant smirk sparked annoyance in her system and she felt her temper exceed its threshold. She did not stop to even consider what she going to do and turned around to face him.

"First thing's first, though," she said before she slapped him squarely across the jaw. He did not seem too affected; he merely flinched slightly but said nothing more. His lack of a reaction fueled her anger even more and she folded her arms across her chest. "What the hell was all of that that for?" she demanded.

"I said I would contact you in a few days. That was my way of doing it," he said, rubbing his sore jaw.

"By hacking into Engima Technologies, shutting down all of the office, nearly giving me a heart attack, and possibly costing me my job?" Alexa said, shooting him a glare.

"It was necessary for what I needed," Q protested.

"Oh, and I'm just a random subject for data and observation? This is ridiculous. I don't even know who you are," Alexa said, looking irritated. "What the hell did I ever do to deserve this?"

"Nothing, really. You just ran into me," Q replied coolly. She stared at him for a moment and let out a sigh, running a hand through her hair.

"Look, Q, who are you really? Or rather, who are you with? Don't tell me that the Agency sent you," she said exasperatedly. There was a look of confusion, plain and simple, on his face and he shook his head.

"I'm not sure what that is," he replied. Alexa's eyes narrowed and she studied his face carefully, to make sure that he wasn't just lying to her.

"Are you completely sure?" she said warily.

"I don't know what that is and I am not affiliated with them in any way," Q said.

"Fine. Now, who are you really with?" Alexa asked, her eyes sharp and frigid.

"I don't suppose you can tell me why you believe I'm affiliated with anyone in the first place," he challenged. Her frown deepened and she glared at him accusingly.

"Well, a normal person certainly doesn't just go around, breaking into security systems to scare unassuming network security administrators with virus attacks. You had to have some distinct purpose. So tell me, why did you do that?" she said through gritted teeth.

Q noted that she had a distinct fervor in her voice as she spoke angrily to him and began to deduce her mentally. "Roll of the r's— not natural born Brit, then. Slightly English lilt disappears when angered. She actively hides her accent but she can't help but let it slip— that shows she hasn't lived here all of her life. Either she immigrated early or learned English early; the intonation of her voice rises in the middle slightly, only if she forgets to control it. Certainly not English but not Spanish descendant either. Her skin tone speaks for that. French, German, Polish, or Russian, then? Accent can't help much there, since they all sound similar; appearances will take over then. Retroussé of the nose and sharper facial structure differs from Polish people; she's a Russian then, she has to be. Her eyes have a Byzantine-" he thought to himself. His deductions were cut short when Alexa poked him on the shoulder.

"Were you even listening to me?" she said exasperatedly.

"Of course," Q said, unwilling to admit that he hasn't heard a word she had said.

"Then why are you picking on me like this?" Alexa said, folding her arms across her chest. He stood up momentarily and led her onto the incoming train, while formulating an answer that he hoped to satisfy her pressing question.

"That was considered as your entrance test into the MI6. Part of it, anyway," Q replied as he handed her the folder in his hands.

Q was met with silence that caused him to look back at her. She was openly staring at him, with evident surprise in her eyes. Alexa had not expected that to be the reason for the attack and she was wary of associating herself with the government, given what she had gone through in Russia.

Her mind drifted to thoughts of her former occupation and she really could not believe she would have to be involved with the government once again. Alexa's stomach lurched and she quickly began attempting to find the pro and the con for this situation. "This has to be some kind of twisted joke," she said aloud.

"Nope," Q deadpanned. "You're being offered a position in our technology department."

"Why would you ask me? You just met me in a Tube station. I barely know you," Alexa said.

"It was initially your interest in quantum cryptography that caught my eye. I did a bit of research and found out about how creative and inventive you were. That's certainly something you'll need if you do end up working in the Q-Branch," he said.

"What exactly will I be dealing with?" she said.

"If you read the file, maybe you would know," Q said coolly. Alexa shot him a glare and opened the folder, flipping carefully through the contents.

"You do all of this in a single day?" she said as she saw the job involved hacking, developing weapons, among other things.

"A day, maybe two. There isn't a boring day at the MI6 building," Q said dryly.

She snapped the folder shut with a considerable amount of force and looked back at him. "What if I refuse?" Alexa said.

"Why would you refuse?" Q replied, his eyes darkening with confusion.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it might have something to do with the way you asked me of doing this in the first place," she replied caustically.

"The ends justify the means," Q said, looking miffed. "I don't exactly care how unconventional it seems, as long as it achieves its purpose."

"Well, I do! Listen, if I were to kidnap, I don't know, your father or something and force you to get them back to test your skills and hand you a job offer at the end, would you feel the same way? Naturally, of course you would!" Alexa said fervently.

"That isn't the same situation-" he began.

"Of course not, but it's similar!" she argued.

"What you said was different. Kidnapping involves physical labour and factors in the possibility of death or arrest itself. My father's dead, so this argument is invalidated in the first place," he shot back.

"That isn't my point," Alexa said, silently fuming. She tried to calm down a bit but found herself glaring at him once more. "Besides, why would I want to work with you?"

The question caught Q off guard but it was a refreshing change from what he was usually asked. A smirk spread across his face that struck Alexa deep with annoyance. "Do you find me unpleasant?" Q said, looking evidently amused.

"At this moment, yes, I do," Alexa said, challenging the smugness that she heard in his voice. There was an ambivalent feeling inside of her that she could not comprehend, one that tottered on the edge of slapping him and losing all the anger she had over him.

"Hmm. I might reconsider hiring you then. Certainly can't have an unhappy employee around," he mused. She stopped short of her words and pointedly stared at him.

"So you're..." she began.

"Our tech department is called the Q-Branch for a reason, Alexa," he said with a roll of his eyes. "It doesn't take Scotland Yard to put that together."

She ignored his jab and quickly tried to organize her thoughts. "Aren't you a bit young to be the head of MI6's technology department?" she said.

"Age is no guarantee of efficiency," Q said dryly. Alexa tried to decipher how on earth he had managed to achieve that status after graduating in the same year as her. She shook off these thoughts and began to think clearer now, as she had calmed down considerably. Alexa sat quietly, weighing in the pros and cons of accepting this position. It was quite a fetching position and was also something she was sure to enjoy. However, she was still wary since it might allow the Agency to identify her and eliminate her.

Q watched as she silently retreated into her thoughts and let out a sigh. She was much too careful about all of this, which confused him. Alexa seemed unwilling to take a government job and he wondered if this careful planning was due to more than mere displeasure with the government. Maybe she had something to hide. He glanced over at her and saw her flustered expression. "So, are you accepting the job or not?" he said.

"I..." Alexa said, her voice trailing off. She could feel heat rising to her cheeks and she shook her head. "I don't know yet. You could at least give me some time to think about this."

"What's there to think about?" Q said, his brow furrowing.

"A lot, mind you," Alexa said softly, her thoughts drifting to the Agency. She shook them off quickly and thought more on her current lifestyle. "Besides, maybe I don't want to get involved in government affairs."

"Why not? Would you rather prefer working at Enigma?"

She hesitated in her response, which Q found odd. Alexa seemed wholeheartedly willing to distance herself from the government, yet he did not know why. "I can't work at Enigma anyway. They fired me," she said absently. Q raised an eyebrow as she shook her

"I suppose I just need tonight to process this, that's all," Alexa said. "I'll probably tell you tomorrow."

"Right. I'll send someone by your home to pick you up tomorrow afternoon at three, to complete your final examinations. You may give those papers to me then," he replied.

"Wait, final examinations?" she echoed blankly.

"There is a psychological test and a physical test. I would be advise you to bring a spare pair of clothing for your physical exam, by the way," he said.

"What if I fail both of them?" she said curiously.

"To put it bluntly, it's very hard to fail. The psychology test is a mere psychoanalysis. I passed the physical exam and I'm not too keen on athletic activities," he said with a shrug.

"I see. This is all highly unconventional," Alexa said, with a shake of her head.

"Doing it any other way would be boring," he pointed out.

"Well, that's one way to look at it," Alexa said. Alexa sat quietly, still unable to believe all of what happened today. She was going to work at the MI6. That was if she passed her final examinations, of course. Alexa figured that she wouldn't have any trouble with both the physical and psychological testing. As she stood in the foyer with him, she let out a sigh and shook her head.

"You know, this was quite possibly the worst way you could have asked me to work for you," she sighed.

"Didn't cause too much damage," he said.

"To you, maybe," she muttered as she watched him prepare to leave. "But you have single-handedly terrified me, gotten me fired, and caused the worst day of my life. I think that the damage was worse on my end."

"And it's up to you if you want to accept what resulted from it," he smirked. "After all, isn't this the same woman who said she wanted to do more than protect the banks and businesses of London?"

She suddenly recalled her words and rolled her eyes. "Cheeky bugger," she muttered under her breath as she opened the door. He heard her soft comment and found a strange amusement in her blunt word choice.

"I heard that," he chuckled, slipping his coat on his body.

"Considering that I slapped you already, I don't think I have anything to lose anymore," she said dryly. He let out a light laugh and she shrugged lightly.

"Regardless of everything, I apologize for my temper," she said. "I don't snap like that often, and I'm afraid it was a bit much."

"Well, I must apologize as well for all of this too. I'm afraid I got a bit carried away with the virus production," he said, a hint of a smirk appearing on his lips.

"Then we're even," Alexa said. She hesitated for a moment, before her thoughts for the better of her. "Am I still allowed to drop by tomorrow? I mean, if I do agree to this-"

"I left you a folder, didn't I?" Q replied. He heard her chuckle lightly at his answer, and she shook her head.

"Well, okay," Alexa said, folding her dressing gown around her. "Have a safe trip home, then."

"I'll be sure of it," he nodded. "Goodbye, Alexa."

"Goodbye, Q," she said, shaking his hand politely. Alexa watched as he turned around, and a sudden thought occurred to her.

"Oh, and Q?" she called.

"What?" he said.

"Even with the ruckus at Enigma and our talk before...Thank you for this. Really. I don't know what I would have done after being fired," Alexa said, a shy smile gracing her lips. It was not a large and fake sort of grin, but it was small in size and utterly genuine. It showed a different side of her that was sweet and almost innocent, a side that her previous life had been unable to touch.

"Not a problem. Goodbye, Alexa," he said coolly as he gave her an affirmative wave. Her smile had caught him slightly off guard, since she did not look like the type to smile a lot. It gave her a warmer, more lively look and he thought it was pleasant on her appearance.

Q shook these thoughts away, mentally scolding himself for such foolish notions. With this, he tried to expel any more thoughts about her. He had been alone for the vast majority of his adult life, save for an ex-girlfriend, and he did not wish to get close to anyone again for fear of eventually being pushed away like before. It was in this moment that he promised himself to never fall in love with her, and that their relationship would be nothing but purely professional.

And he was determined to keep it that way.


	4. Chapter 3

_There are many different sides to people that will never fail to surprise you._

_**-Randy Pausch** _

* * *

The next morning, Alexa had opened her eyes, with Q's offer still on her mind. She was in a hard place, as accepting the job would put her at risk of being discovered. As nice as it was, that danger still remained and she was unsure if she was willing to risk exposing herself.

Still, there were different reasons why she would accept. For instance, the pay was much better than Enigma's. Likewise, the materials were better and she would finally achieve that higher purpose she was looking for.

She stared up at the ceiling with an irritated look on her face. There were certain advantages, yet there were considerable disadvantages as well. After an hour, Alexa ended up deciding that she really didn't care and that if she did get into trouble, that the MI6 could protect her.

She rolled out of bed and sat at the table to sign the papers Q had given her. It wasn't a long process, but she had a feeling that the tests would be much more telling of her capability to be an MI6 employee.

Alexa spent the next hour in vain preparation for the so-called examinations. Alexa had decided on a more casual outfit that consisted of a peach-coloured shirt with sleeves that reached her elbows and a black pencil skirt that hugged her curves. She slipped on a pair of black heels and packed a pair of spare clothes and shoes in her purse. Her hair was not a cause of much fuss and she brushed her long, brown hair behind her shoulders.

She heard a knock on the door and opened it to find a petite Asian woman who looked to be in her mid-thirties. The woman had kind eyes and a warm smile to match. She wore a pair of black pants and a white dress shirt and held a phone in one hand, looking like the average government worker. "Good afternoon. I've been sent by Q to pick you up," she said pleasantly. "That is, if you still want to apply."

"I do. Thank you," Alexa said as she picked up her coat and her bag. "My name is Alexandra. You are...?"

"My name is Joy. I work at the Q-Branch. It's lovely to meet you," she said as she led Alexa out to the car idling on the curb.

"Thank you. It's nice to meet you too," she said softly as she climbed in. Alexa had never been too adept with introductions and she had a feeling that she would be facing a lot of them today. She held the paperwork in her hands and tapped her fingers against the smooth surface of the folder, waiting patiently to be brought to the MI6 base.

"Everyone saw what you did with that network attack," Joy said as she drove through the busy streets.

"Oh...really?" Alexa said.

"Yes. I think you did quite well, considering that you got the job done in seven minutes," she said as she glance back in the rearview mirror to smile at Alexa.

"That's nice of you to say so. Thank you," Alexa said as she looked away from Joy. She quietly watched the lights of London fly by and she saw them heading into a tunnel at Sheffield Market, near to where she worked before.

They exited the car and immediately went though a variety of security checkpoints. Alexa followed Joy through the tunnels, which (strangely enough) did not smell like dust and damp bricks. The only scents she could place were the faint aromas people's perfumes and colognes as they walked by. Joy took her into an elevator and proceeded to give her a quick tour of the large underground complex. She led her through various rooms before finally showing her to an area where Alexa saw six desks laid out systematically.

There were three on each side of the room and Q stood at his desk at the center of the room, working on what looked to be an algorithm of some sort. There was another man that stood next to him and they seemed to be arguing fiercely about something.

"Bond, I am not going to proctor the exam myself. I want you to do it," Q said.

"But why? I have things to do-" he protested.

"Au contraire. M said you were free today," Q pointed out. "Besides, you can do this to start paying off that debt you owe for all of the weapons you've destroyed."

The other man looked like he was going to protest, but Joy had decided to intervene. "Here she is, Q," Joy said as she walked in with Alexa in tow. "Good luck on your exams, by the way," she said, smiling at Alexa as she walked by to return to her desk.

"Thank you. I'll try my best," Alexa replied lightheartedly, feeling a surge of confidence from Joy's words. The two men glanced over at her and she recognized Q, but not the man next to him that was leaning against the desk.

"Thank you, Joy. Good afternoon, Alexa. I had a feeling that you would come by," Q said politely. Alexa's eyes wandered momentarily to inspect her surroundings before her gaze returned to Q.

"It was an offer I couldn't refuse. Here are my papers, by the way," she said as she handed him the folder.

"Excellent. This man is James Bond, better known as Agent 007. He will be the proctor for your physical examination," he said. James gave him a dirty look and Q silenced him with a glare of equal ferocity. He let out a sigh and approached Alexa, seemingly conceding defeat.

"Er, hi. It's nice to meet you. I'm Alexandra Abbott," she began, cringing at her initial awkwardness with a man. It was always like this and she hoped that it would pass soon. Alexa held out her hand and stopped suddenly when she realized that her words were a bit incorrect. "I just go by Alexa," she hastily added.

He was about six feet tall with a slim but muscled build. He had clean-cut sandy blonde hair and cold blue-grey eyes that peered at her with both curiosity and suspicion. His lips were upturned in a smirk but he still managed to keep a rather stoic expression permanently glued to his face.

"The pleasure is mine. Feel free to call me Bond, by the way," he said as he stood up. "Q, I'll take her to the training rooms on the second level."

"Go ahead. I'll be there with M in a few minutes," he said as he turned back to finish his work. James led Alexa out of the room and the two went on their way to the training rooms.

"So, how did Q find you?" he finally said as they roamed the stone halls. "You certainly can't be a friend of his."

"Why would you assume that I'm not his friend?" Alexa said curiously.

"Have you seen him? He doesn't exactly look like the type to encourage friendship," James scoffed. "Besides, you're much too pretty to be his friend. He would hardly have the heart to talk to you, much less become friends with you."

"Well, he and I apparently went to the same university but I didn't really know him. I just met recently at a Tube stop on my way home, when he saw me reading a book about virus production," she said with a shrug, feeling pleased to see that she could actually form coherent sentences now.

"I would imagine that it was even more surprising when he hacked into your security system. What was that like?" he chuckled.

"It was...unexpected, to say the least. I was angry at first but he offered me this job in return for my efforts," she replied.

"Well, I think you'll enjoy it here. We don't exactly deal with average business and every day is never boring," James said as he opened the door for her. They stepped into a large room with brick walls and various equipment laying about.

"The showers are over there. You can change and come back when you're ready," he said. Alexa nodded and went off to change into different clothes, which consisted of a black tank-top and a pair of workout pants. She slipped on a pair of clean white sneakers and tied her hair into a ponytail before heading out the door.

Meanwhile, Q had made his way to the back room, where he would watch Alexa's physical evaluation. M had come along as well, curious to see what kind of physical attributes she would have. Most of the people in the Q-Branch were not exactly classified as athletic (including Q, to some degree) and the two of them were basically there to watch her barely pass the exam.

"Let's see how good she really is," M said, as they watched James begin the test.

"Start off by doing twenty-five pull-ups and thirty push-ups," he said as he pushed his pen against his clipboard. Alexa didn't say a word and reached for the bar above her. She completed the pull-ups with ease and pressed her hands against the cold, concrete floor to begin her push-ups. It took her about a minute and a half to complete thirty push-ups and afterwards, the medical team examined her current condition to confirm that she could proceed. They expected her to be tired, but she seemed like she was barely winded. Even James was slightly surprised by her lack of a physical reaction.

"What's next?" she said.

"You have to run on this treadmill for fifteen minutes," he replied. She nodded and laced up her shoes. Alexa ran for the time she was told, which actually tired her. It had been a while since she had done so much running and it was always the one thing that could wear her down easily. When she was finished, James approached her whilst holding a pistol.

"This is the last portion of your examination. Shoot at the eight figures in the room, preferably in the head," he said. This was where Bond expected her to trip up, like most people usually did, since she didn't look like the type to have any sort of skill in handling firearms.

However, Alexa had surprised him (along with everyone else in the room) once again. She went towards the entrance and held the gun in her hand, getting a feel for the weapon before beginning her round. The cold metal, pressing against her palm sent a sensation coursing through her veins that she had not felt in a long time. Her mind was focused on shooting now, with the rest of the world blurring into nothingness behind her. Her eyes were focused on the bulls-eyes in the room and she began walking whilst firing at each of the targets. They varied in location, height, and distance, and she found that she actually had to concentrate while she was shooting. The sound of the last gunshot echoed through the room and she set the gun down on the table.

"Did I...do well?" she said as she glanced away from the target, the world flooding into colour once more. James had taken down the papers from the targets and lined them up on the wall, for all to see.

"You hit every figure in the head, more or less in the center circles. You only missed the center on three of them, by about five or six centimetres," he said, looking stunned. "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to be a field agent?"

"I don't think that putting myself in the line of fire is the best thing for me. I'd prefer to work in the Q-Branch. It seems much more...impersonal," she said with a cold smile.

"I see. Well, you're finished. You certainly passed, but I still deducted points for those few centimeters you missed," he replied.

"Don't remind me," Alexa muttered, looking annoyed.

"With more time in the shooting range, I'm sure your firearm skills could be excellent. Now, your next examination is in the room next door on the left, so just head over there when you're ready," James said as he headed towards the door. Alexa went off to take a shower and while she was gone, James had headed over to the room where Q and M were. "What circle of hell did you pull her out of, Q?" he demanded.

"None of them. I just...bumped into her on my way home," Q replied with a sigh.

"She's...well, she's certainly a piece of work. I didn't expect her to do that well," M said, chuckling slightly.

"How can she shoot like that?" James mused. "She's obviously had practice, though she doesn't seem like the type."

"No idea," Q said with a casual shrug of his shoulders. "It's impressive, if not a bit dubious."

"Well, let's see what kind of things Dr. Howard can unearth in the psychology eval," M said as the three men headed out of the room. They stood in front of the mirrored window outside of the small room where Dr. Howard waited. Alexa came by after ten minutes and she took a seat at the chair in the center of the room.

"Hello," she said softly, staring at the man who sat directly across from her. He had blue eyes that crinkled at the corners and a jovial expression to match. Alexa personally thought he looked like Father Christmas but she would never actually say that out loud.

"Good morning. You must be Alexandra. I'm Dr. Howard, and I'll be conducting your psychological exam," the man said.

"Well, Dr. Howard...what exactly does this test entail?" she asked hesitantly. Alexa didn't like people poking around in her mind and she wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

"It's two tests, actually. We will start with a few questions, followed by the Rorschach test," he said.

"That seems fair," she said.

"Please try not to think too much about these questions. I would like for you to say the first thing that comes to mind," he said.

"I'll make sure to do that," Alexa replied.

"Alright. In this scenario, you are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with?" he said.

"Nobody," she said automatically. Alexa could hear his pen scratching against the page and she waited for the next question.

"You now see an animal. What kind of animal is it?" he said.

"A bear," Alexa said.

"What interaction takes place between you and the animal?" Dr. Howard asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I walk away, but I keep a gun pointed at him in case he tries to eat me, which he probably will."

"Alright. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house. Describe its size," he said.

"It would be large, about two stories," she replied, automatically thinking of her home in Kodino.

"Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?"

"Yes," she said, wondering what kinds of questions these were. They were quite strange, and she didn't see how this could reflect on her personality.

"Alright. You enter the house and walk to the dining area, where you see the dining room table. Describe what you see on or around the table," he said.

"There is a tablecloth on the table and chairs, with a flower on the surface of the table," she said, shrugging slightly. "What else would I find there?"

"That depends on you, Miss Abbott. Now, we'll move on to the Rorschach test," Dr. Howard said as his hand scribbled notes across the page. He moved his chair, so that he sat next to her. The man pulled out a set of photographs and set the on the table.

"Please take a look at this first blot and tell me what you see. Feel free to elaborate, if needed," he said as he held the card. Alexa stared at the blot and nodded slowly.

"I see a face, like those you carve on a jack-o-lantern. I also see a mask of some sort," she said instantaneously.

"Good. What about this?" he said as he moved on to the next card, which consisted of grey, connected shapes.

"They're two bears, holding hands. They seem happy," Alexa said.

"Alright. Tell me what this is, Miss Abbott," he said as he held up the third card.

"It's two male figures. The red blots on the side look like stomachs," she said. Alexa saw him hold up the next image and her brow furrowed slightly.

"It's a...tall man, standing," she said thoughtfully.

"Interesting response. Care to elaborate why you think so?" Dr. Howard said.

"It just looks like it," she shrugged.

"Would you be afraid to approach such a man, or get close to him?" he asked.

"I would think so. He looks stern, unapproachable. It makes me a bit...uncomfortable," she said. Dr. Howard glanced at her for a moment and nodded slowly, noting her response.

The next card, she had identified as a bat while the following was described as two symmetrical boats. The seventh card was grey and seemed to be of two women talking while the eight was an array of colours, with pink, blue, grey, and orange ink. Alexa thought it was nice to have colour in the cards and identified it as two animals.

The ninth puzzled her to some extent, and she struggled to see something in it. "I see what looks like a monster, but that's about all I can say," she sighed.

Dr. Howard raised an eyebrow at this response, since it was one he did not get very often and made note of its meaning on his paper. "What about this last one? List everything you see in this," he said as he held up the paper.

It was a bright jumble of blues, pinks, greys, greens, oranges, and yellows. She liked the colours and found things easily. "I see some blue spiders, grey crabs, and rabbit head on the green bits," she said.

"Anything else?" he asked.

"It looks like you're examining a slide under a microscope," she said.

"I see. That brings us to the end of our examination, Miss Abbott. Thank you for coming in," he said, shaking her hand.

"When will I receive my results?" she asked.

"I must discuss them with the others first before they tell you," he said as he wrote swiftly across the page. Dr. Howard stood up and pushed in his chair. "Please wait here," he said. Dr. Howard left the room and went into the side room to review his results with the other men.

"What do you have for us, Dr. Howard?" Q said.

"She's mentally sound, but she's got a few things here and there that make her...different from what I usually see," he said.

"Explain each aspect of the exam," M said. "What do you make of her?"

"Well, the first question I asked was meant to determine the most important person in her life. She said no one, so I assume that she's been alone for the majority of her life. The size of animal she visualized is representative of her perception of the size of her problems. She seems to think that she has considerable obstacles in her life," he said.

"What about the other questions?" James said curiously.

"She said that would walk away from the bear, keeping a gun pointed at it because she knew it would attack her. That told me several things, like that she was cautious with her problems and wary of getting involved. She's also a bit of a realist, in the sense that she tends to expect the worst in any situation. Miss Abbott is fairly motivated to resolve these issues, given her response to the fourth question and the fifth question told me that she's a reclusive woman," Dr. Howard said.

"So, she keeps to herself and builds fences figuratively to keep people away," Q said.

"Precisely. She doesn't make friends easily with others and that most likely came from her childhood. The items she listed in her response to the sixth question are indicative that she is happy, to some extent, but generally not," he said.

"What about the ink blot test? I never did understand those," M said.

"Ah, those yielded much more interesting results than I expected. Her response to the first blot told me (from a psychological standpoint) that she is a bit neurotic. She looks a little too much into things, which I noticed when she said she saw a face in the ink. Most people do not see that, and instead find a butterfly or bat," he said.

"Now, the second was a bit unexpected, since she said she saw bears. The fact that she did not see human figures indicates that she has trouble relating to people so you might want to watch her social interactions around the office. Don't be surprised if she has trouble expressing emotions and things like that properly," Dr. Howard continued.

"What about the third?" James asked.

"She gave a normal response to this one but the fourth was the one that caused some further speculation on my part," he said. "She said she saw a tall man standing, that he looked stern and unapproachable. This card is supposed to signify her stance towards men and that tells me that she is uncomfortable around men and that she is a bit wary of approaching them."

"I'll keep that in mind when I'm with her, then," Q said. "Anything else of particular interest?"

"Well, her responses to cards five through eight were perfectly normal but the ninth indicated that she had poor social development in growing up. This further fuels my assumption that she was by herself most of the time," he said.

"Right. Overall, what do you think of her?" M said.

"The results from her tests lead me to believe that Alexandra Abbott is a sensible woman, if not overtly cautious in her endeavors. Initially, she seems shy (especially with men) but she recovers from it eventually. Miss Abbott is also a woman who does not make friends easily but in the instance that she makes one, she will treasure such a relationship and will expect the same sort of loyalty in return. It would be very hard to lose her trust and conversely, to earn it back. Overall, she passes my examination," Dr. Howard said.

"Excellent. Q, you can go tell her she passed. I'll go back to my office. Bond, you need to go down to visit Moneypenny later. She said she had something for you," M said.

"Something from Eve? Hmm, I'll be looking forward to that. See you later, Q," James said as he headed off with M. Q went back into the room where Alexa was, with the folder tucked under his arm. Their eyes met and she stood up from her seat.

"Let's go," he said as he led her out of the room. They went back out into the hallway and she waited patiently for the elevator to bring them back to the main floor.

"Did I pass?" she finally said as she stared up at him.

"You've met my standards and you've been declared as both physically and psychologically stable. You are now officially part of the Q-Branch," he said as they walked back into the room.

"Am I really?" Alexa said, her eyes bright with excitement.

"Yes. Your desk is over there, near the door. You'll start tomorrow at eight o'clock sharp. Work will end at five but you may choose to stay later. The security guard will give you a pass tomorrow morning to let you in. Try not to be late, as tardiness is a pet peeve of mine," he said.

"Thank you, Q. I look forward to working here," she said as she briskly shook his hand.

"It's not a problem. I'll see you tomorrow, then," he said. Alexa said goodbye and headed out the door, unable to keep a grin off her face. She could not help but smile at this point, because she felt glad to know that she had a job that could impact bigger things and that it would be more important than protecting a bank. She truly felt excited, knowing that she had finally found that higher purpose she had been searching for.


	5. Chapter 4

_You always get a special kick on your first day, no matter how many you've gone through. You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen._

**_-Joe DiMaggio_ **

* * *

Today was the day.

Yes, today was the day Alexa would officially begin her work at the MI6. It was only fair to say she was excited, having woken up on time for once. She rushed around her home, eating her breakfast and preparing for work. Alexa brushed her unruly mane behind her shoulders and pulled on a demure, light blue dress that flared past her knees, paired with black flats. She tossed her empty cup of coffee in the sink and headed to the bathroom, making ready to leave. Before she left home, she put on a necklace with a small, brass key on the chain. Alexa never left without it and although it was simple in its appearances, it was one of her most treasured possessions. It was the key to her home in Kodino and she always slipped it under the crease her dress made. She put on her coat and grabbed an umbrella, seeing that it was raining lightly outside.

Alexa soon left the house and walked to the Tube stop, where she headed back to the Barbican to get to the tunnels near Sheffield Market. She walked briskly down the street, unsure of what to expect today but was excited nonetheless.

Alexa headed to the security desk, where she received her permanent pass inside the building. She held it in her hand whilst going through the various checkpoints. Alexa finally made it past the last scanner and stood at the stair steps, attempting to remember where the Q-Branch was. She looked to her right and found herself feeling intimidated by the people around her. Alexa thought it would be completely juvenile to ask for directions and she racked her brain to remember where she had gone with Joy yesterday.

"Sorry, are you lost?" a voice said behind her. Alexa turned around to look into the eyes of a woman with curly brown hair and sharp brown eyes. She was dressed elegantly and was taller than Alexa in her high heels. The woman possessed sharp, striking features that complemented her fierce eyes but she still managed to keep a pleasant smile on her lips.

"Do you mind telling me where the Q-Branch is?" Alexa said, her cheeks flushing red with embarrassment.

"No need to look so embarrassed! Here, I'll take you," she said as she led Alexa to the elevator. There was something about this woman that put Alexa at ease and she felt her initial discomfort disappearing. She found that it was nice to know that someone was actually nice enough to lead her to the Q-Branch.

"Thank you," Alexa said gratefully. The woman pressed the button for the fourth floor and turned back to face her.

"So, are you a friend of Q's?" she said curiously.

"Not really. He recently hired me. I took my final examinations yesterday and it's my first day today," Alexa explained.

"Oh, I see! You must be Alexa then. James told me about you yesterday. My name is Eve Moneypenny," she said, holding out her hand.

"Um, well, it's nice to meet you, Eve," Alexa said as she shook her hand. "What did he say about me?"

"He said you did incredibly well in shooting and that it's a shame that you have to work at that dreary old place," Eve said.

"The Q-Branch doesn't seem as dreary as he paints it to be," Alexa said.

"Well, that's James for you. It's not bad in the Q-Branch but he just hates going there, pretty much because he still owes Q money for wrecking his inventions," Eve chuckled. The doors opened with a loud ding and she stepped out into the hall with Eve. They advanced down the corridor and Alexa opened the door to the Q-Branch, where she saw Q already working on something. He turned to face her and she noted the stern expression on his face, which made her nervous.

"Alexa, you are late by about five minutes," Q pointed out.

"I'm sorry. I got lost," she admitted.

"Give the girl a break, Q. It's her first day," Eve protested. It was two against one and he figured that he wouldn't even try to argue with Eve. If she could win argument against James Bond, then there was no way Q stood a chance. He simply rolled his eyes and turned back to his computer.

"Fine. Just get to work," he grumbled. Alexa said goodbye to Eve and took a seat at her desk. Her eyes flickered with confusion upon realizing that he had not told her to do anything.

"Erm...what exactly am I suppose to be doing?" she said hesitantly.

"M wants us to develop new gadgetry for the field agents to use. I would like a blueprint with the specifications on my desk by the end of the day," he said, without turning around. Some of the other people in the room glanced back at him questioningly. He had told them three days ago that it was due this day and it seemed a bit strange that he would give Alexa only one day to work on it while they had at least two days. However, he gave them a look that told them not to say anything and they soon realized his true intentions. Q wasn't expecting her to actually design and work out the specifications in one day and was merely testing her abilities, to see how far she could go in one day.

Alexa had her suspicions of what he was doing from the start, given the way people glanced back at him but she chose to ignore them for the time being. She was already off to a bad start, since she had come in late so she figured that she would just have to cope for now. If he was going to play that game like she had suspected, then she would accept his challenge, while doing an excellent job with it as well.

Alexa took a sheet of paper and a pencil and began to think. What could she make that would benefit a field agent? It had to be something that they had at all times, but was still normal enough for them to wear or use. She figured that few of them wore rings to symbolize marriage while on a mission, so a ring design was out. It had to be something inconspicuous, and after fifteen minutes, she came up with her design.

It was a watch, one that could be altered to suit the styles of both men and women. The watch itself was not the main focus of the weapon, but the chronographic dial that surrounded the face of the watch. It would be divided into two layers, where the first would be the metal plate covering the dial and the second would have a small chip with a wire attached to it. Her idea was that if you turned it all the way around once, it would transmit your location. If you turned it twice, it would trigger an explosive system inside the watch and detonate it in about fifteen seconds.

Alexa tied her hair into a ponytail and began to work out the mathematics to program the chip, which would turn her idea into a reality. She dove headfirst into her work, finding the binary values that the chip needed to identify and respond to in order to transmit location and trigger the explosive mechanism. Alexa spent the majority of the morning on the programming aspect of the project, with her hand swiftly scribbling notes across the page.

She skipped lunch and kept her blood sugar up with a cup of coffee. Alexa more or less ignored the world around her (it wasn't like anyone was bothering her anyway) and worked steadily on the watch design. She was like this whenever she started something, unrelenting until she would finally be forced to stop. Alexa was fully aware that she would have to do her best to get a project of this scale done in at least nine hours, so she had to move and think quickly.

While she constructed the watch, Alexa scribbled down her calculations on several papers that didn't seem to make sense to anyone else but her and drew up blueprints for the watch's design. She made sure to be as thorough as she could in such a short period of time. Alexa attempted to work out every physical and technical aspect of the watch that she could think of, even going so far as to find the best materials to construct it with. After a day of hard work, she was finally done. There was a distinct buzz in the back of her head and she felt slightly dizzy. Alexa was surprised to see that she was the only one left in the office, save for Q. She stood up and set the finished papers on Q's desk.

"Here's my design, Q. The papers attached to it are the specifications," Alexa said, feeling triumphant. He turned around, unaware that she had been there this entire time. Q honestly hadn't noticed, since he had been so engrossed in his current endeavors. Despite the fact that he really hadn't taken any notice of her existence for the last nine hours, it did not bother Alexa in the slightest. She couldn't help but feel excited as she watched him inspect her work carefully, as this was her first test.

"Interesting. What sort of materials would we need to make this watch of yours?" he said thoughtfully.

"An iron alloy such as celestrium or spring steel would be sufficient, since they're lightweight and durable, not to mention malleable," she replied smoothly.

"Well, I will admit that the design in itself is...satisfactory. You nearly covered everything," Q said as he set the paper on the desk.

"What did I miss?" Alexa said, looking puzzled.

"There was a few aspects of the chronographic dial that should be revised. It needs a safety mechanism at the dial to ensure that the agent doesn't accidentally blow themselves up," he said. Her face fell and she nodded slowly.

"I must have forgotten about that, then," she said lightheartedly, in an attempt to not feel like she was a complete idiot. Alexa couldn't believe that she had overlooked such an important aspect of the design. However, she reminded herself that there would always be something to fix because getting something perfectly on the first try was more or less impossible.

"I didn't think you could process both the design and specifications in one day. There are still a few flaws but I'm certain that you can fix those soon. With the work you did today, I would assume that the watch will be done by the end of this week. It seems like I made a good choice," he said, looking quite pleased. Something clicked in her mind and her initial suspicions were confirmed.

"Then I was right. This was all a test then, wasn't it?" Alexa said as she folded her arms across her chest.

"I was just making sure I made the right choice," he said with a shrug. "I wasn't sure if you would be capable of working with developing gadgetry, given that your former occupation was focused on network security."

"Oh. I suppose that's a valid reason for a test, then," she said. He merely nodded and Alexa went back to her desk. She glanced around, staring at the clock and was surprised to see that it was almost six o'clock. Alexa picked up her bag and pushed her chair in, the wheels creaking softly against the concrete floor.

"I'll be going, then," she said. "Is there anything in particular that I should work on tomorrow?"

"I'd like you to fix the flaws in the watch design. There's also an external hard drive that needs to be decrypted. I'll put it on your desk before I leave tonight," Q said.

"Alright. I can do that," she said as she headed toward the door.

"Overall, you did fairly well for a day's worth of work," he said as he turned to face her. "Just do the same thing again tomorrow."

"Oh. Well, thank you," she mumbled, turning pink. Alexa hastily said goodbye and left Q alone in the office. She headed out of the building and made her way into the street, where she went to the Tube station to go home.

As she walked into her home, she could not help but feel a bit giddy after her work today. She was interested in the idea of tinkering around with objects and making equipment for the agents to use. It was certainly much more different than what she had dealt with at Enigma Tech and it excited her. Alexa hoped that she would not experience any problems and also hoped that this would finally be the opportunity that could blot out the past that Operation Chetiri had created.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this skips ahead two months and I hope time skips don't bug anyone because I will probably do more in the future.
> 
> Anyway, one of the Holmes brothers will make a slight appearance in this chapter! Mycroft will be a former agent because I think that would be a logical way for him to become involved with the government. Start small, build connections and whatnot. I will also introduce the other workers in the Q-Branch as well! They're OC's because I can't figure out the names of the actual people working there but whatever. I hope you like them as well.
> 
> Enjoy your reading escapades!

_If you don't make the time to work on creating the life you want, you're going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don't want._

_**-Kevin Ngo** _

* * *

About two months had passed since Alexa's first day at the Q-Branch. She had created the sort of life that she wanted everything seemed to be running smoothly and she was prosperous in her endeavors. Alexa had been given a variety of things to work on, with each day being different. Her regular duties included keeping an eye on the firewalls, decrypting long strings of code, encrypting specified files, and developing new weapons. It was rather exciting and she never knew what to expect as she walked into the room each day.

Alexa also became a bit more acquainted with the five other members of the Q-Branch and she found that it was nice to have friends. It was easy to befriend them, even in her usually shy state and she found that she smiled and laughed more frequently as a result of having real friends. Although it was a small group of techies who were about six or seven years older than her, they were more than happy to make friends with her, upon realizing that she was on par with their level of intelligence. Unlike her previous co-workers, they weren't dull and spoke to her as a friend, rather than speaking only on businesslike terms. They were all a bit strange, in some way, but it made for a light-hearted and rather entertaining work environment.

There was Michael Grimm, who was a former accountant with a penchant for algorithms and software engineering. He was a tall and broad-shouldered man who looked intimidating but never failed to eagerly present her with new photographs of his beloved two-year-old son and his wife. George Crenshaw was the stout and rather portly man who specialized in networking and programming. He had a loud and booming laugh to accompany his good-natured sense of humor.

The two other men were twin brothers from Ireland, Ryan and William Reid. Ryan was the quieter one of the two and although he did not talk very much but was quite adept at keeping the secrets of the MI6 out of the public eye. William's talents lay in developing weapons and making feasible designs that could be tailored to fit an agent's needs. He was the more outgoing man, who (if prompted) could talk for hours about his fiancée.

Finally, there was Joy Nakamura, the woman who had brought her to the building on her first day. She was a security officer (in accordance with the MI6's two man policy) with a knack for code and decryption. Alexa felt the most comfortable with her, given that she was the only other woman who worked in the Q-Branch. Joy was the person whom Alexa would spend her lunch hour with, along with Eve Moneypenny.

Alexa had come to know Eve a bit better after their first meeting, after Joy had re-introduced them to each other. Eve occupied the highest desk job in the MI6, which was being M's assistant. She engaged frequently in intelligent banter with James Bond and it was hard for Alexa to determine whether they were actually in a relationship or merely flirting with each other. Eve had eventually told her that she was dating James, even though they gave each other a few quips here and there.

The three women usually spent their lunch hour at Little Britain, getting coffee from various shops in the streets. Like regular human beings, they gossiped about their love lives (in Alexa's case, a lack thereof), crap telly, and the other people in the MI6. It was from them that Alexa had found out that Q was only eight months older than her, which was surprising since he was the boss.

In the month that she had been in the Q-Branch, it had been easy for her to figure out why Q was the boss, even if he was quite young. Alexa had quickly realized that the man was utterly brilliant, a technological genius, so to speak. She would glance up occasionally to see him working intently on a project and find that same endeavor to be finished by the end of the day. Alexa had never seen someone with his level of expertise in technology and she found it quite impressive, if not attractive. She admitted to herself that he was fairly handsome. Alexa found that she liked his tousled brown hair that never seemed to be entirely tidy and admired his striking blue green eyes. He was incredibly smart too, which was what she really wanted in a man. As the saying went, brainy was the new sexy.

However, she tried not to be too interested because she knew that he was out of her league, coupled with the fact that he was her boss. She felt that it would be a tad bit inappropriate to try to start something with him and that it would make her appear in the wrong light. The last thing she wanted was to be remembered as the girl who climbed the social ladder by flirtation. Besides, she didn't even bother trying because she knew that she would be completely out of her element. She was trained to kill, not to flirt. In fact, Alexa would make a point to avoid his gaze as much as possible, to dissuade her from thinking of any romantic thoughts.

Throughout her time at the Q-Branch, Alexa noted that Q worked in a somewhat slapdash manner and organized things according to what he felt was right. It was a strange way of working, but it seemed to work for him and was quite interesting to watch. She soon found out that he had very little patience for communication. Alexa noted that he could be a little standoffish and sarcastic at times and sometimes went for long periods of time without speaking to anyone. He was what normal people considered to be a workaholic and he was practically married to his line of work. Q was also quite a perfectionist, who did not stop until his creations had achieved a state of near perfection.

On top of all of that, he was weirdly strict about punctuality. Alexa was not sure if he noticed or not but she always walked in with one minute to spare. His quirks were admittedly a bit strange and could be rather frustrating at times but it did not disrupt her work. At the end of the day, she was usually the last to leave, save for Q. They hardly said anything to each other whilst working on a project. However, he was not ignoring her and Q actually enjoyed her company. Both of them found solace in each other's silence, finding that frequent and lengthy idle chatter was irrelevant. They would sometimes engage in short and rather random conversations, where she found that she got to know him a little bit better. Q also became better acquainted with her and silently took note of her habits and different qualities. However, other than words, that was the extent of the regular contact.

Her first real interaction with Q would come about a week later. It was a rather blustery November morning and Alexa walked into the room, one minute early again. The room was abuzz with activity, with different people working on their individual duties. She hung her coat on the rack and said a quiet hello to Joy and Michael as she walked in. Alexa took a seat at her desk and smoothed her wind-blown hair down, before taking a look at the papers on her desk. Without warning, Q turned around to look directly at her. "Alexa," he said.

She glanced up curiously, at the sound of her name being called. "Yes?" she said.

"Do you do that on purpose?" Q said as he glanced at her.

"Do what?" Alexa replied, looking puzzled.

"In the past two months that you've been working here, you have walked into work with exactly one minute to spare," he said matter of factly.

"Ah. I didn't think you noticed," she said, smiling slightly.

"Any particular reason why?"

"I really don't know. I do it all the time, though. Did it at my old job, did it in uni," she lied, not wanting to admit that she only did it to make a jab to his strange obsession with punctuality.

"Are you sure?" Q said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. We're all free to have our little quirks, aren't we?" Alexa replied.

"Fair point," he said as he turned back around. Q went back to working on his current endeavour and Alexa looked back down at her papers. It took all morning and a skipped lunch to create and finish a new weapons design and she took a grateful sip of a warm cappuccino to keep herself going. At around four, she picked up the blueprints for a palm-activated gun and headed off to William's desk to finalize the design he was working on and its specifications.

"Hey, Alexa. What do you need?" William said as she approached him.

"I'm here to check the final design of that gun you're designing," she said as she glanced back at the papers in her hand.

"Well, here it is. I finished putting in the recoil spring for both of them and both pistols are pretty much done," he said as he presented both guns.

"Why are there two?" she asked, looking puzzled.

"One is accustomed to Q's handprint and the other is for Bond. Q has a copy of each gun we've designed, for testing purposes," William said as he watched her pick up each pistol. They were more or less identical, which could present some safety hazards.

"Do you have any correction fluid, William?" she asked as she looked at each portion of the pistol.

"Uh, yeah. Here," he said as he pulled out a bottle of correction fluid. She said a quiet thank you and made a small but distinct white line on the side of the trigger guard.

"What was that for?" he asked, looking puzzled.

"It's only a safety precaution. I'm assuming that Q and Bond will test both of these later and they might get them mixed up," Alexa explained.

"Good point. I'll go give these to Q," William said as he stood up. Alexa went back to her desk and began working on another weapon design. Q accepted the guns from William and put them on his desk, focusing his attention to his current endeavor. His train of thought was interrupted when he heard the door open, followed by James's familiar footsteps.

"You have good timing, Bond. Your gun is finished," he said without turning around.

"Excellent. That's what I'm here for. M is sending me off to Germany on Tuesday morning," James said as he walked over to "What is it this time?"

"Your gun has been remade, the one with the palm print activation since you lost the first one in China to (of all things) a six-hundred pound lizard," Q said, glaring at James.

"It wasn't my fault that the lizard ate it. Besides, I was too busy fighting a man to even notice that it was gone," James grumbled. He picked up one of the pistols and inspected it carefully. "Does it work?"

"Of course it does. I would be ashamed if it didn't," Q said indignantly.

"Let's go test it, then," he replied as he picked up the other gun. Q let out a sigh and followed him out the door, while carrying his mug of tea in his right hand. He took a sip of it and continued down the hall to the shooting room. Q set down his now empty mug on the table by the door and took one of the guns. He put his hand on the pad and was unable to pull the trigger, so he handed the gun to James.

"This one is yours," he said. James held the gun in his hand and began firing his round of bullets, in order to see if the gun was sufficient to his standards.

* * *

Meanwhile, it was rather quiet in the Q-Branch after the two men left. George and Ryan had seized Q's absence as an opportunity to go off on a coffee break, leaving only Michael, William, Joy, and Alexa in the room. The silence was interrupted by an intern who walked into the room. He was rather scrawny and he held a letter in his hand. "Where's Q?" he said, looking confused.

"You won't find him here," Michael said, without looking up from his computer.

"M told me that this was for him. He said it was important and to give it to him immediately," the man said. "Can one of you give this to Q?"

"I'm busy," Michael said as he typed quickly on his computer.

"So am I," William replied, with a dismissive wave of his screwdriver. Both men instantly looked at Joy, who glared at them.

"Don't look at me! I'm decrypting something!" Joy exclaimed. Alexa looked up from her blueprint and she let out a sigh.

"I'll do it," she said as she stood up. Alexa took the paper from the man and stared at it briefly.

* * *

 

_I'm coming by for a visit tomorrow._

_-Mycroft_

* * *

 

"Who's Mycroft?" Alexa said, looking confused. Everyone immediately looked up at the sound of her words and Michael headed over to Alexa. He read the letter and a smirk spread out on his face.

"Mycroft was a former agent. He was 005 to be precise. He's also Q's eldest brother," he explained.

"I can't believe he's coming to visit. He hasn't visited in months now!" Joy said, shaking her head slightly.

"Well, it's only understandable. Everyone knows that he and Q don't exactly see eye to eye," William interjected.

"That's putting it mildly. They don't get on at all," Michael said.

"Blood will fly and heads will undoubtedly roll tomorrow," Joy said. She glanced at the note and gave it back to Alexa.

"Good luck giving that to Q. He certainly won't be pleased when he hears about this," Michael said.

"It can't be that bad," she said half-heartedly.

"Oh, trust me. It is that bad," Joy chuckled.

"I'll see what I can do," Alexa said as she left the room. She walked down the halls and into the shooting room, where she heard several shots being fired. Alexa poked her head in and stepped in, upon hearing the firing cease. She spotted them standing about thirty feet from her and she saw James step back slightly.

"Final test: try to shoot me," James said. Q grabbed the pistol and held it in his hand, whilst raising it to be at eye level with James. As she walked near them, she noted the distinct white mark near the trigger and stared at him in horror. Q was holding the gun accustomed to his palm-print! Alexa tried to think of some quick way to stop him and when words could not find their way to her lips, she instead threw the empty mug that sat on the table next to her at the gun to keep him from firing.

The white mug hit the pistol roughly, knocking it out of his hand. The mug broke rather loudly, shattering into ceramic shards that fell to the floor. The entire room seemed to go dead silent and she could see James stifling laughter in the corner. Q stared at Alexa and let go of the gun, letting it fall to the floor.

"My mug! The bloody hell was that for, Alexa?" Q snapped. Her initial thoughts were something akin to panic and "he's going to kill me". She could not meet his gaze and stared at the floor.

"Er...that gun was fitted to your palm print, not Bond's," she stammered, struggling to recollect her jumbled thoughts.

"You're sure about this?" Q said, raising an eyebrow.

"I marked yours with correction fluid just to keep them separated. You would have shot him otherwise," Alexa said.

"Well, you could have just said something. You didn't have to destroy my mug in the process," Q grumbled.

"Sorry," she said. She began to pick up the shards from the floor Alexa hurriedly gathered the shards and felt the edge of the ceramic mug cut into the side of her hand.

"Ouch," she muttered as she wiped the blood off on her skirt.

"You're bleeding," he said absentmindedly.

"What an astute observation. Your brothers would be proud of you, Q," James scoffed. Q shot him a dirty look that told him to shut up and picked up her hand, letting the pieces fall to the floor.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he inspected her hand. His fingers against hers sent a sensation through her veins and she felt her cheeks turn a slight shade of red. Alexa quickly looked down and she snatched her hand away.

"I'll be fine," she said as she continued to pick up the pieces on the floor, avoiding his gaze.

"Well, alright. Did you need something?" Q asked, causing her to look up.

"Oh, one of the interns came by and said M had a note for you," she said as she handed him the paper. He took it and began to read, while she attempted to stop the bleeding in her hand. Alexa stood up with the broken pieces in her hand and she heard Q crumple the paper in his hand.

"Take this and throw it away," Q muttered as he handed it back to her.

"Q, is everything okay?" she said hesitantly, almost afraid to ask him.

"Of course not!" he snapped. Alexa flinched and she mumbled out a hasty apology, before turning around and essentially sprinted out of the room. The two men watched the timid woman leave and Q suddenly felt guilty for his actions.

"There was no need to snap at her. You know how she is with men, after all," James remarked. Q let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

"I know that. But you know how I am whenever Mycroft comes around," he muttered.

"Of course. Really, it's a bit amusing to watch," James said. "But really, you should make it up to her somehow. She did save me from impending disaster, while sustaining an injury in the process and she was only trying to deliver the message."

"I don't even know how I would do that. I've never been too keen on these sort of matters," Q said as he picked up the guns.

"Take her to lunch tomorrow. It gives you an excuse to avoid your brother and to make it up to her as well," he replied with a shrug. Q stopped and realized that for once, James was right.

"That would be the best way to handle this situation," Q said.

"See? I'm not a hopeless case after all. You should have more faith in me," James said with a grin.

"But still, you're James Bond. I wouldn't hold out too much hope," Q chuckled as they went out the door.

* * *

Alexa had left the shooting room, tossing both the note and the mug in the bin. Alexa felt guilty for breaking his mug and making him snap at her and it was easy for her to decide to leave work at a normal time. It was a little past five and she figured that she would leave as quickly as she could, in order to avoid running into Q. Alexa hurried through the door and the people who had stayed behind (mainly George, Michael, and Joy) looked up as she came in.

"So, how bad was it?" Joy said.

"Well, Q almost shot James because they mixed up the pistols. In turn, I threw his mug at him to make him stop. I managed to cut myself and he also snapped at me for giving him that note," Alexa said. The entire room fell silent and Michael shook his head, looking sorry for her.

"I think it would be in your best interest to avoid him for a bit," Michael said.

"What? Why?" she said as she dabbed at her wound with her handkerchief.

"Alexa, you do know who gave him that mug, right? Hasn't someone here told you?" Michael said.

"I haven't been told anything about the origin of this mug," Alexa said as she gathered her papers.

"Well, to put it mildly, Q's heart isn't entirely made of ice. He had an old girlfriend, Kate Winston, that used to work here. I remember that they dated for about six or seven months and he really seemed to like her. I heard that they had a fight over something and they broke up and she moved to America," he said. Alexa's eyes widened in shock, upon realizing the gravity of her actions.

"I just did something terrible, didn't I?" she groaned, looking mortified.

"Come now, it'll be fine," George said as he patted her reassuringly on the shoulder.

"George, I just broke a keepsake of his from an ex-girlfriend whom he seemed to really like and I also told him his older brother is coming here tomorrow. I don't think it'll be fine," Alexa said as she pulled on her coat. She looked at the clock and picked up her purse.

"I'll see all of you tomorrow," she said as she made her way towards the door. Joy stared at her retreating figure and followed after her, pulling her purse onto her shoulder.

"Alexa, just talk to him tomorrow and apologize for the mug incident," Joy insisted as she walked beside her.

"Are you mad? I can hardly talk to him on a regular basis, around all of you. There's no way I can talk to him privately like that," Alexa whispered as they exited the building. The two women walked across the brick steps and stood at the sidewalk.

"Just promise me that you'll try something, anything," Joy said. Alexa's brow furrowed and she stared at Joy rather warily.

"Hang on a minute, you aren't trying to set me up with him, are you?" she said suspiciously.

"No," Joy said, knowing that it was at least half-true. Alexa immediately gave her a look that could make even a man crack and within seconds, Joy had succumbed.

"Ok, fine. But it isn't just me. Eve is in on it too," she confessed.

"But...why? I mean, he's really quite handsome and all, but he's my boss. I can't exactly date him. It seems like I would come off the wrong way," she said.

"Although you've been working here for two months, it didn't take either of us very long to see that you two would be lovely together," Joy said. "We had to try something. I mean, it's about time the poor man fell in love again, especially after what happened with Kate. George was out that day when they had their spat, and I filled in for him, but I still remember how bad it was. We just wanted to give him a chance not to become a bachelor for the rest of his life."

"Well, it's useless. I'm a complete idiot when it comes to love," Alexa mumbled, looking down at her shoes. "Besides, I highly doubt that he's interested."

"That's rubbish. I don't see why he wouldn't be interested," she said as she looked at her watch. She realized that she had a few errands to run and pulled her arm away.

"Listen, I have to run. You have to try something tomorrow, or else I'll tell him that you like him," Joy said.

"No! Don't say that," Alexa exclaimed, looking horrified.

"Then live a little. Try to make him notice you somehow. Do something," she called as she walked to her car. Alexa let out a sigh, knowing that Joy's threat was real and she headed down the street. She saw a grey cloud making its way towards the horizon and within minutes, it began to rain. Alexa groaned and stared up at the sky, because she had finally realized that she had forgotten her umbrella somewhere again and she could not recall its exact location. Honestly, it seemed to be the one thing that she would forget frequently. Every emotion that had been coursing through her body had reached its breaking point and she finally snapped.

"For god's sake, can't I just catch a break today?!" she shouted, feeling utterly irritated. Several people stared at her upon hearing her scream angrily at the sky and she stormed into a shop to avoid being rained on any further.

The door opened with a click and she stepped inside, finding herself in a small and somewhat abandoned novelty shop. Alexa gave the elderly woman at the counter a small smile and proceeded to at least pretend that she was looking around. She picked up a vintage Coca-Cola themed license plate and peered curiously at darkened liquids in old jars. The store in itself was quite odd, if you actually looked closely, but Alexa had no choice but to stay here for the time being.

Her heels clicked loudly against the hardwood floor as she walked into the back area of the store. This time, something had actually caught her eye and she headed over to a small bookcase that was filled with coffee mugs. She looked at the different designs and although it took a while, she found the perfect one to replace Q's old mug.

The white mug's design was fairly simple. It was the letter Q which was stylized like the Scrabble tiles, with a small number 10 in the bottom right hand corner. It was a bit symbolistic, as Q was the most valuable letter on the Scrabble board and consequently, the hardest to play. She found herself smiling at the irony and picked it up. It was rather thick, which was good because the old mug was thick and weighted as well. She briefly wondered if he would care about the ironic nature of the gift but proceeded to pay for it anyway, feeling satisfied with her purchase.

"Is this for someone special?" the elderly woman said, interrupting her thoughts.

"Well, you could say that," Alexa said with a shrug.

"Would you like a box for this, then?"

Alexa nodded and watched as the woman put it in a small brown box while tying a red ribbon around it to hold the box together. She handed Alexa a card to go along with it and Alexa thanked the woman, while heading out of the shop. Alexa really wasn't sure of how long she had spent in the shop but she didn't care because the rain was gone.

She walked rather cheerfully across the damp street and hopped over puddles, her mood considerably better than before. After a five minute walk, she soon arrived at the Tube Station. Alexa went home and wrote a message in the card, after figuring out a plan of attack for tomorrow. She really wasn't sure if he was still angry at her or not, so she decided it would be best to play sick.

After all, wasn't that always the best way to avoid your problems?


	7. Chapter 6

_Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open._

**_-John Barrymore_ **

* * *

**_(November 19, 2012- 8:52 AM)_ **

Yesterday's events had somewhat embarrassed Q. He wanted to talk to Alexa as soon as possible and apologize for his rather questionable behaviour. Q waited patiently for her to come in but after fifteen minutes, she had not arrived. He looked at the door behind him and wondered why she was taking so long.

"She's late," he finally said.

"Eh? Who is?" William said as he looked up.

"Alexa is fifteen minutes late. Do any of you know where she is?" Q said as he drummed his fingers against the table absentmindedly. Joy realized that Alexa was attempting to avoid him and stood up.

"I can go check on her," Joy said. "Would that be alright?"

"Go ahead," he replied. Joy nodded and she walked out of the room. She hurried to her car and drove to Alexa's house in Euston Square. Joy went up the steps and rang the bell.

"Alexa, don't be a coward. Come out of there," she said as she pounded on the door.

Alexa heard Joy knocking from her position on the couch and made ready for her performance. She had put a lot of effort into making it seem like she was sick, even going so far as staying up all night to make her skin pale and sallow. There were dark circles under her eyes and she cleared her throat several times, to make her voice hoarse. Alexa had put several tissues on her coffee table, along with a bottle of cough syrup. She wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and headed to the door. She opened the door and met the eyes of Joy.

"I'm sick, Joy. Don't even bother," she said hoarsely.

"Are you serious? When I said for you to do something, this was not what I meant."

"I didn't mean to get sick!" Alexa said.

"Well, you look terrible and all, but this seems too coincidental," Joy said suspiciously.

"I can assure you that this is real. I am legitimately sick," Alexa said with a cough. "I got caught in the rain yesterday in my way home from work. I must have caught a cold."

"You have terrible luck. Well, what do I tell Q? It seemed like he really wanted to see you today," Joy said with a benevolent grin.

"Tell him that I'm taking a sick day and that I'll come back in on Monday," she said as she sat back down on the couch. Alexa spotted the box on the side table near the door and handed it to Joy. "Here, take this."

"What's this?" Joy said as she picked up the package.

"This is for Q. I got it for him yesterday," she said. "Will you give it to him for me?"

"How sweet of you! What is it?" Joy exclaimed.

"It's a secret," Alexa said, smiling despite herself.

"Well, fine. I'll go give it to him. Get well soon, okay?" Joy said as she stepped outside.

"I will. Thank you," she called as she stared at Joy's retreating figure. Alexa went back to her couch and leaned back in the chair, letting out a sigh. She hoped that Q would like his new mug and was glad that she had evaded him, at least for now.

Joy headed back to the Q-Branch and arrived several minutes later, after parking her car and passing through the security checkpoints. She set the box on Q's desk, causing him to look up.

"What's this?" he said.

"It's a present from Alexa. I regret to inform you that she will be out for the rest of the day," Joy said.

"Why?" Q asked as he inspected the box.

"She caught a cold, as a result of yesterday's downpour," she replied as she sat back down at her desk. Everyone was watching Q carefully now, curious to see what was in the box.

"Why are you all looking at me?" he said as he glanced around the room.

"Why would we not? People rarely give you anything," Ryan quipped. Q let out a sigh, upon realizing that they were right and picked up a small card. He opened up a cream coloured envelope and stared at the quick but neatly written letters on the paper.

* * *

 

_I apologize for what happened yesterday. I hope this makes for a viable replacement._

_-Alexa_

* * *

 

He opened the box and found a white mug, the same size as his old one. It was fairly nice and his lips turned up into a smirk when he caught a glimpse of its design. It was the letter Q, with a small number ten in the right hand corner. Q had instantly caught the somewhat ironic nature of the gift and set it on the table.

"Well, that's certainly considerate of her," he said to himself. Q felt even more guilted by her rather sweet gesture and felt dismayed at the fact that he wouldn't get to see her until Monday.

No matter, he thought. He would just take her out to lunch on Monday and see what happened from there. Q went back to work and to his relief, his older brother had postponed their little meeting. It seemed that yet another British politician was involved in an overseas scandal and who would take care of it?

Big brother Mycroft, of course.

Q went through the rest of the day, working on various new weapons and he left the room at around six that evening. As he sat on the train bound towards his home, he couldn't help but notice how much he was looking forward for Monday and it honestly surprised him. He had not been like this since his dalliances with Kate.

At this point, Q's brain was muddled with hectic thoughts about what he really thought of Alexa. It was only fair to say that he found her interesting. They knew quite a bit about each other, but he really didn't know much about what she was like before her university years. It was almost as if she decided to keep it out on purpose, and that intrigued him. There was something different about her that he could not place. She was also eloquent and intelligent, which were both qualities that he liked that were rarely prevalent in most women that he had encountered in his life. Q also brought himself to admit that she was quite pretty. However his mind held fast to the belief that Alexa would not turn out the way Kate had because he really didn't want to fall like that for anyone again. Q thought that he wouldn't fall for her like that, but did his heart think otherwise?

Only time would tell.

* * *

_**(November 19, 2012- 8:46 AM)** _

Alexa hurried around her house, getting ready to leave for work. She could not find her umbrella, which she seemed to need. Where had it gone this time? It looked terribly cloudy outside and there was a 62% chance of rain this afternoon.

She finally gave up with a groan of frustration, after tearing apart her foyer in her search efforts and slipped on her flats. Alexa smoothed her fitted, black slacks and white dress shirt before heading out the door. She walked quickly and pulled her coat around her tightly, feeling the wind chill settling in her bones. Alexa took the Tube and within minutes, had arrived at the front desk of the MI6 base.

Alexa scanned her pass and said hello to the security guard before walking briskly through the halls. She checked her watch as she stood in the elevators and strode down another hallway to get to the Q-Branch. A small smile appeared on her face as she walked into the room at 8:59 AM, yet again.

"Ah, there you are, Alexa. Punctual as always," Q said, not taking his eyes away from his laptop's screen.

"How did you know it was me?" she said as she put her coat on the coat rack.

"Aside from the fact that you walk in here at precisely 8:59 AM, you also have a particular way of walking. I can tell when it's you or when it's someone else. Doesn't anyone else notice this?" he said as he turned to look at everyone.

"I don't really make a point to memorize the sound of particular footsteps. That sounds tedious and somewhat crazy," Joy admitted.

"Neither do I," Michael said. "Although I'm fairly certain George does. He always seems to know if I'm coming near him."

"I don't really think about it too much but I know what Q's talking about. It's an innate sense of observation, I suppose," George said.

"Exactly. See, I'm not crazy after all," Q retorted. He returned his attention to Alexa and glanced at her. "Feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you. I apologize for notifying you of my sick day on such short notice," she said as she headed over to the bin to throw away several scrap papers.

"It's not a problem. You've got a few work orders sitting on your desk, so I think you should start on those," he said.

"Got it," Alexa said. She went back to her desk and inspected the files. Alexa had to go down to the third floor today and fix several computers in the financial records department, since they were experiencing several errors. She took her trusty Phillips screwdriver and spent the remainder of the morning rushing around the third floor. Alexa soon returned to the Q-Branch at around noon and was surprised to find that Q was not there.

"Did you fix the problems in the third floor?" Ryan said.

"Erm, yeah. Apparently, they're not as adept with computers as they said they were. They didn't even know how to turn on the firewall after it was disabled," Alexa grumbled. She set her screwdriver on the desk and looked around.

"Where's Q?" she asked.

"He's in a meeting with M. We're not entirely sure of what exactly it's about but we should find out soon," George replied.

"Well, alright," Alexa said.

"Oh, and Alexa?" he said. "Could you keep an eye on Bond? He's in the training facilities and he's testing his new gun."

"That sounds fine. Why would I need to watch him?" she said.

"Er..." George said, attempting to put the matter in the simplest terms possible.

"In case you've forgotten, he has the horrible tendency of breaking all of his weapons," Joy called as she took a few papers out of the printer. "It's rather troublesome, really."

"That's right. He broke something I made for him a while ago," Alexa said, her expression darkening. She stood up and headed towards the door.

"I'll see what I can do," she called. She left the room and headed down the hallway, to the elevators. Alexa went to the second floor and walked into the training room, where she saw Bond firing a gun. Eve stood near him and watched him carefully, making a comment here and there about his shooting style. After several shots, the firing ceased to a halt and both looked up at the sound of Alexa's soft and distinct footsteps.

"Hey, Alexa. What are you doing here?" Eve said.

"They told me to keep an eye on Bond," she said as she took a seat next to her.

"Have they said anything else about me?" James said as he set down the gun.

"I've been told that you break all of our weapons, which, you do," Alexa replied with a glare. "You broke that pair of transmitter cuff links I made for you."

"I...well, I won't lie. Yes, I did," he said, throwing up his hands. "Did you know that they explode if thrown in water?"

"The metal was made of a cesium-based alloy. Of course it would explode in the presence of water. I even told you to keep it away from wet surfaces," Alexa sighed.

"Well, one man lost his life that way but then again, it wasn't much of a loss," he shrugged. "Where's Q?"

"Apparently, he's in a meeting with M," she replied.

"Strange. Q never usually deals with M," James said as he crossed his arms. "What did he do this time?"

"I don't know what they could be talking about. M more or less kicked me out of the office for the time being and sent me here to watch him," Eve said with a shrug.

"Hmm. Well, I'm sure it's nothing. Carry on, Bond," Alexa said as she leaned back in her chair. James began his daily hand-to-hand combat training with another field agent and she saw Eve turn her attention away from him to face her.

"How was your little break?" Eve said.

"Horrible. I became sick after Thursday because I forgot an umbrella and I was caught in the downpour," Alexa said.

"I couldn't help but hear about the cute little mug you got for him. It seems he's quite pleased with it," she said, grinning widely at her.

"Well...I'm glad he likes it. I didn't know if he would," Alexa said as she looked down at the ground.

"Of course he would like it! It's slightly ironic in the nature of its design and we all know that Q highly enjoys ironic humor," Eve said.

"I wasn't sure, alright? End of story," Alexa said, with a roll of her eyes. "At least he has a mug to replace the one I broke."

"Did someone tell you the story behind that one, by the way?" she asked.

"Oh, I am fully aware of what happened. That's why I felt really bad about doing it," Alexa muttered.

"Did you know that he hasn't hired anyone in the Q-Branch since she left?"

"Really? What about me, then?" she said curiously.

"I don't know why he hired you. Maybe be he was short on staff and time, so he needed to find someone. Who knows, maybe he just liked you," Eve said with a shrug.

"I highly doubt that. The man is practically married to his work. He doesn't have time for that sort of thing," Alexa scoffed. She saw James knock the other agent flat on his back and simultaneously, the door opened. Q walked in whilst holding a black box, which caused both women to look up.

"Speak of the devil," Eve smirked.

"What was that, Eve?" Q said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, it's nothing you need to worry about," she retorted.

"Whatever you say. Have you been keeping an eye on Bond, Alexa?" he said.

"Yes, I have. He hasn't broken anything yet and the weapons seem to be functioning correctly," she said as she sat up in the chair.

"Well, that's good. Can you work through your lunch hour today?" he asked.

"I suppose I can. Is something wrong?" she asked as she stood up.

"Two computers came in from M's office and the hardware needs to updated. They could be a potential flaw in our system if they stay that way any longer," Q replied, while setting the black box on the table.

"Yeah, I can get started on those," she said.

"I apologize for making you do this now, but it's something that can't wait," he said apologetically. Alexa was a bit taken aback by his genuine regret and shook her head.

"It's okay, Q. I understand how important security is here, so it naturally takes precedence. Besides, one missed lunch isn't much of a casualty," Alexa said, smiling slightly. She turned around briefly to pick up a few papers that had fallen onto her chair.

"Not if it's with me," Q muttered.

"Huh?" she said as she turned to face him again.

"It's nothing. I'll remember to make up this missed lunch somehow," he said. Her eyes widened and she quickly averted her gaze.

"You really don't have to, but thank you for the thought," she said. If she had looked up, she would have caught the smirk on James's face. However, she didn't notice and made her way to the door but was stopped when she heard James call her name.

"Alexa, wait. I need you to do something for me," he said.

"What is it? I was going to do something," Alexa said as she turned around, with a slightly annoyed look on her face.

"Come here. It'll only take a second," he said. She glanced back at Q for a moment before letting out a sigh and heading towards James.

"What do you need?"

"Fight me," James said as he held up an arm. The request was rather unexpected and came as a surprise to everyone in the room. Alexa stared at him rather incredulously and shook her head defiantly.

"Please tell me you're joking," she said.

"Nonsense. I've always wondered if you could hold your own in a fight," he replied.

"How would you even arrive to such a question?" Alexa said, folding her arms across her chest.

"It was when you took your physical examinations. You're so...unassuming and it was really quite unexpected to see you shoot like that, which led me to wonder about your true physical abilities," James said.

"Don't try to force her into fighting you, Bond. That's not entirely fair," Q argued.

"Exactly. She doesn't even seem willing to do it," Eve retorted.

"They're both right. I would never willingly punch you, much less fight you. Not unless you surprised me," Alexa said.

"Well, there's an idea," James mused.

"If you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way," she said as she headed towards the door. James decided to startle her on impulse, to see how she would react.

He quickly reached out and clamped his hand roughly on her neck, like he was intending to choke her. Without warning, Alexa's body reacted quicker than her mind and she grabbed him by the wrist. James tried to pull back his arm, surprised that she even decided to fight back. She twisted his arm behind his back without a moment's notice, giving him little time to react. Alexa turned around to kick his knees out from under him and knocked him flat on his back with a sharp, downward jab to the stomach with her elbow.

Aside from a groan of pain from James, she didn't hear a word come out of anyone's mouth. The room was filled with nothing but pure silence. The world seemed to flood back into focus and her actions finally registered in her mind. Her eyes widened in surprise and she could not speak for a moment.

"Oh my god, are you alright? I'm so sorry about that," Alexa blurted out, looking utterly mortified. She helped him up and let out a sigh. "I told you not to startle me!"

"It was worth it. That was..." James said, his voice trailing off.

"That was amazing," Eve remarked.

"That was a hell of a kick. That's what it was," James said, dusting himself off.

"You're both wrong. That wasn't supposed to happen," Alexa mumbled.

"Hang on, did you really just knock James Bond flat on his back without even intending to?" Q finally said. She stared at him and back at James, her cheeks turning a distinct shade of bright red.

"Well, I guess. But still, you really scared me, Bond. I didn't know what was happening, and I wasn't thinking clearly. I apologize for hitting you," Alexa said, looking embarrassed.

"It's not a problem. I've been through worse," James said. Alexa began to make her way towards the door and Eve stared at her as she went on her way.

"I cannot believe she just did that," Eve chuckled, with a shake of her head, "Hey, why do you know moves like that, Alexa?"

Alexa paused before turning around, and she was unable to hide a small smirk on he lips. "You know what it's like, Eve," she said. "When you're a girl in the city, a trick or two like that might keep unwanted suitors off your tail."

"Like James here," Eve replied smartly. The two women laughed, causing James to roll his eyes good-naturedly.

"I'm off. Have fun," she said, before promptly proceeding to exit the room.

As soon as she was gone, James immediately turned to face Q. "Where did she come from?" he said.

"It didn't seem important, so I didn't really make an effort remember it. However, that was impressive, particularly for a woman of her stature," Q remarked.

"It certainly was," James said. He paused for a moment before his brow furrowed slightly. "Hang on, I told you to take her out to lunch but instead, you're making her work. What the hell happened to that?"

"Well, I thought fixing the security flaw was much more important than going off to lunch," Q said, sounding offended. "Besides, I've got something in mind."

"Like what?" Eve said curiously.

"Oh, it's nothing you need to worry about. Besides, I'm sure she'll like the surprise I have in mind," he said with a smirk on his face. He picked up the box and passed it to Bond.

"Bond, new weapons are in the box. I'll see you two later," Q said, before leaving the room. Eve stared at him as he left, blinking in confusion before letting out a sigh.

"What do you think he'll do?" she asked.

"If I read that smirk of his correctly, then I think he's going to try something. He may turn this whole thing into a date," James said, looking amused.

"Oh, he wouldn't do that," Eve said, rolling her eyes. "Unlike you, Q isn't the type to willingly seduce a coworker."

"You're right. But it should be interesting to see how this turns out," James said as he reloaded his gun. "There's something about Alexa that Kate never had. If he does end up with her, maybe we can see what she really is and why she was able to knock me flat on my back like that."

"Speaking of which, I'm certain of one thing," Eve said.

"What is that?"

"Alexandra Abbott is definitely not your average programmer," she said with a shake of her head.

And it was to their belief that she was absolutely correct.

* * *

Alexa went back to the Q-Branch to go work on the two computers and for the remainder of the day, she updated the firmware, encrypted the hard drive, deleted any partitions, and so on. Her movements were quick and spidery, and when she was working at the computer and her fingers simply flew over the keys. However, the job required a fair deal of waiting as the computers updated and she tried her best not to look bored. She even went off to get everyone coffee, just to have an excuse to wander around and by the time she came back, the computers still had not finished. It was a lot slower process than she had anticipated and she would probably not be done until six.

Alexa remained, even after everyone else had left. She spent the rest of the time alone with Q. The only noises in the room were the sounds of the clacking of the keys on the keyboard and they didn't say a word. By the time it was six o'clock, the computers were fully updated and she could finally go home.

Alexa shut them down and put on her coat. She gathered her belongings and slung her purse over her shoulder. "I'm off. See you tomorrow," she said as she left the room.

Q, who had also finished his work, suddenly remembered what he had intended to do. He quickly shut down his laptop and took his coat off the coat rack. Q spotted her umbrella in the corner and let out a sigh, knowing that she had forgotten it again. He took it with him and headed up to the first floor.

The elevator doors opened and Q soon found Alexa standing at the main entrance. She was staring at the pouring rain and it seemed that she was attempting to decide whether or not she would make a run for the Tube station or not.

"I believe this is yours," Q said as he approached her. She turned around and upon realizing that he was holding her umbrella, let out a sigh of relief.

"My umbrella! Where did you find that?" she asked.

"You seem to forget it frequently. It's been sitting in the coat rack for a few days now," he said.

"Oh. Well, thank you," she said. Q glanced at her momentarily and looked down rather sheepishly at the ground.

"Alexa, are you free this evening?" he asked. Alexa thought about it for a bit and nodded.

"Yes, I am. Why?" she said.

"Would you like to come to dinner with me?" Q said. Her eyes widened in surprise at his question because it was really quite unexpected to her.

"Oh! Um, I'd love to," she said, smiling slightly.

"Alright. Let's go," he said. Q opened the umbrella and the two headed out of the building together. They went down the street to a small Italian restaurant called Giuseppe's Kitchen. A waiter seated them near the window and after ordering their food, Alexa decided to ask him the question that had been on her mind this entire time.

"So, is there any particular reason why you asked me to have dinner with you?" she said, quirking up an eyebrow.

"Must I provide one?" Q said.

"Not really, I guess, but I'm just curious," Alexa said. "I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"No, you're not in trouble," he said, chuckling lightly. "I did make you miss lunch today, so I felt that it would only be fair to make it up to you like this."

"Really? You know, you didn't have to. I don't mind at all," Alexa said.

"Well, I would have taken you out to lunch last Friday but you were sick. Illnesses are such nasty little inconveniences. But yours seemed fairly convenient, given what happened Friday afternoon," he said smoothly.

Alexa paused for a moment, not knowing what to say. He had seen right through her excuse and she needed to pass it off, that she was really sick. "I viewed it as more of an inconvenience but it was purely coincidental," she said, attempting to look as honest as she could.

For Q, it was tough to tell when she was lying but he was determined to find something that could give her away. He studied her closely and after a few moments of close observation, he realized that she was lying. Her tell was the way she would blink and look away from him, a common tell in most people. Instead of calling her out on it, he let it slip and took a sip of his drink.

"Alright. I meant to apologize for what happened last Friday, by the way. I'm sorry for saying such things," he said.

"It's fine, Q. I hope you liked the mug I bought," she said, her lips quirking up into a small smile.

"Oh, I forgot to thank you for that as well. It makes for a lovely replacement," he said, returning her smile.

"That's good. I'm glad you enjoy it," she said. Their food soon arrived, the aromatic scent of authentic italian cooking filling the air. They both ate in silence, until Q came up with a question of his own.

"I was surprised when you took down Bond with such ease. How did you do that?" he said curiously. Q watched her carefully as she attempted to formulate some sort of viable response. Her mind was scrambling to find the right words to say and finally let out a sigh of defeat.

"I know how to defend myself," she said vaguely, inwardly cringing by how lame it sounded.

"Why didn't you say anything about it earlier? I think it would have been interesting to know," he said.

"Well, the element of surprise always keeps things interesting. I thought it would be nice to reveal it later," Alexa said with a shrug.

"I see. The pugilistic arts have never been my strong point, whereas you're quite adept with it," he said.

"To be honest, I'm not always that good with everything else. I'm not right-brain oriented, so therefore I stink at drawing," she admitted with a laugh. "I can't really play an instrument or learn another language all too properly either."

"Well, it seems I'm good at what you lack," he remarked as he took a sip of his water.

"Like what?" Alexa said.

"I am quite adept with a piano and I know several different languages," Q replied.

"Don't tell me. You're good at art as well," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"I'm better than most," he said, his lips quirking up into a smirk.

"And you're intelligent too. That's just not fair," Alexa said with a shake of her head.

"Well, that's just me," he replied. "But really, how do you know how to fight? I'm just curious."

Alexa's expression darkened a bit, but she tried her best to appear shy about the subject at hand. "Er...well, I think it's a little interesting, actually; you know, the fact that your body could be used to move like that," she said, her eyes drifting far away.

"Do you take lessons or...?" Q began. Her face was drawn away from his as she looked at the waiter approaching them, and he could not fully conclude if her tell was giving her away.

"No, not really. I mean, I look at it sometimes, and I try it out for myself occasionally at the gym. It's a cool hobby, and it keeps any guys from chatting me up easily," she replied, her gaze shifting downward. "But it's...not really important."

"Ah, you're kabbalistic. That's always interesting," he said.

"...What?" Alexa asked, looking surprised.

"Kabbalistic means secretive," Q said, looking a bit puzzled. "Has no one ever described you like that?"

"Not with that word," she said, shaking her head. "How do you even know a word as obscure as that one?"

"When I was young, my older brother told me that if I memorized every word in the K section of the dictionary, that he might consider playing with me," Q said, a small and somewhat nostalgic grin on his face.

"You didn't actually..." she said, her voice trailing off.

"Oh, I did. Naturally, I was naïve and followed his commands so now I know a good deal of words beginning with K," he said. There was an amused look on her face and she merely shook her head.

"You must come from a really...interesting family," Alexa said.

"Oh, that's speaking of them nicely," Q chuckled. "What about your family?"

Alexa immediately thought of her mother and father and she outwardly flinched at his question. "I...well, I don't have a family," she said softly. "I've been alone for the majority of my life."

"Have you really?"

"Well, I grew up in an orphanage in Dover and I never really considered them to be my family. After that, I went to Cambridge and London and in the past nine years, as terrible as it sounds, I haven't made a single friend until I arrived at the MI6," she admitted with a laugh that was twinged with sadness.

"Do you...ever get lonely?" Q said curiously. He knew that there were different types of people and some who found solace in loneliness. Q himself was of the reclusive sort who rather liked having one close circle of people he considered friends and spending his time alone with his work.

"I don't really get lonely. I've been alone for a lot of my life and I've come to accept it," she said softly. "Still, I do like interacting and socializing from time to time because it makes me feel somewhat normal."

"That seems perfectly reasonable," he said with a nod. For the remainder of dinner, they dined like friends instead of boss and employee. It was lighthearted and they were able to understand each other even better. Both of them found that they actually enjoyed each other's company a little more than before. It soon came time for their little dinner to end and Q walked with her to the Tube station. They engaged in a rather engrossing debate about operating systems until the train neared Euston Square.

"Oh, this is me," she said as she stood up. Alexa swayed slightly as the train was moving and she looked at Q.

"Thank you for dinner. It was lovely," she said.

"You're welcome. I'll see you tomorrow," he said. The train was slowing to a stop and he watched her make her way towards the door. He hesitated with his next question and he tried to decide whether he should say it or not. In the end, however, he felt that it needed to be said.

"Alexa, wait," he called as she stepped out.

"Hmm?" she said as she turned to face him.

"Would you...like to do this again sometime?" Q said. He felt so uncertain by saying this and the feeling was so foreign to him.

"You don't have to, by the way," he quickly added.

Although Alexa was surprised by his question, she was not unwilling. Her lips turned up into a smile and she nodded. "I would love to," she said.

"That's...good," he said, returning her smile. Q heard the announcement from the PA and he stepped back. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodbye!" she said, sounding cheerful. The doors shut and Alexa watched the train go, with a odd but not uninvited feeling in her heart. She felt strangely giddy and there was a slight buzz in her veins that was unparalleled to anything she had ever felt before. What was it? Alexa was unsure of what was but in this moment, she felt as if nothing could bother her. It was a lovely and somewhat intoxicating feeling and it took her a moment to realize that for once in her life, she was truly happy. She had never realized that she, as tumultuous as her past was, could experience joy because she thought she had closed off her heart to such things. And what had she decided?

She enjoyed it.


	8. Chapter 7

_Man is not what he thinks he is; he is what he hides._

_**-André Malraux** _

* * *

_**(December 10, 2012- 8:52 AM)** _

It had taken about three weeks, but Q and Alexa's relationship slowly, but surely, began to change. They spent more and more time together, frequently going out to lunch or sharing a coffee after work. Sometimes they would merely engage in regular, work-related conversations but on occasion, they would become engrossed in heated debates that could be everything from politics to Doctor Who (which, she found out, he absolutely loved). His love for the acclaimed science fiction show had given her an idea of what to give him for Christmas and she was currently working on it in her spare time.

Q found that she was quite passionate in her arguments and that she had the intelligence to back up her viewpoints. Conversely, Alexa found his extensive knowledge quite impressive and it was hard to hold her own against such an intelligent man. It was in these sorts of interactions that they quickly turned from boss to employee into close friends.

As she continued to work there, she soon found that he was probably the best boss she could imagine. He was ridiculously organized in his own weird little way (despite the fact that his desk was chaotic at work) and handled his employees with trust, but who at the same time was not afraid of being tough when the situation called for it. He was always sure of himself and was very good at making quick and precise decisions.

Today, Alexa was heading to work like she usually was. Nothing was really on her mind at the moment and she stepped off the train to get to work. As usual, it took about seven minutes for her to walk from the station and into the office. Alexa hung her coat on the rack and took off her gloves. There were only four people in the office and she found it strange that Q wasn't here. "Good morning, everyone," she said, smiling slightly.

"You seem cheerful. Did something happen?" Michael remarked.

"It did snow this morning. That may be why I'm so cheerful," she said.

"I hate the snow," Joy said with a shudder. "It's the one thing I can never get used to in my years of living here."

"Snow is lovely. It reminds me of my old home," Alexa interjected.

"I agree. You know, winters are great in Ireland. It gives us an excuse to sit in front of the fireplace and avoid the outdoors," William said.

"Well, tobogganing whilst intoxicated is quite fun too," Ryan remarked.

"Wait, what?" Alexa said, looking amused.

"Yeah, we used to do it every Christmas Eve until we came here. Granddad would even come, if his knees weren't bugging him," he replied.

"And how old is your grandfather?" Alexa asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Seventy-four. But don't let his age fool you. He's a feisty little bastard," Ryan chuckled.

"That's madness," Alexa said, shaking her head. She looked around for a moment and glanced at the door. "Where's Q?" she asked.

"He's up in M's office. We don't know what happened but we should know fairly soon," Joy said.

"Oh dear. He never usually goes in there. Is it bad?" Alexa whispered as she leaned forward.

"It might be. Just be prepared to deal with him if it is bad," she replied. Alexa nodded and looked back at the papers on her desk. She began her morning by decrypting the files on several hard drives and also began developing a new weapon design.

She also headed to the break room after a half hour and fixed up a cup of tea for Q. Alexa wasn't sure how his talk with M would go but she figured she might as well make some for him anyway. Instead of adding some cream, she put a little bit of milk in the mug and let it mix with the Earl Grey tea. It was really quite a strange mixture but she knew that Q liked his tea that way. To be honest, she really didn't know why she knew that but decided it wasn't an irrelevant fact that she could forget. She merely set the cup on his desk and decided to wait and see what he would deal with today.

* * *

Q currently sat in M's office, waiting impatiently. There was a scowl on his face and he certainly didn't look pleased with being there. He glanced over at his eldest brother, Mycroft, who was currently texting on his phone. The room was silent and M could practically see how strange it was to have two Holmes brothers in the room. But that wasn't all of them, and that was the most frightening thing about it.

The door opened suddenly and Sherlock walked in, with a shorter man following him. "What is it this time, M?" he said as he went towards his desk.

"Take a seat, Sherlock. We have a case for you to work on," M said. Sherlock reluctantly sat down and he glanced over at Q and Mycroft (who, by the way, was still texting someone). Q shared a look with his older brother and let out a sigh.

"M, are you sure it's advisable to have all three of us here?" Q said.

"It probably isn't, but I don't have a choice," he replied.

"Hang on, what is going on here?" the shorter man blurted out.

"Who's your friend?" Q said as he looked back at him.

"I'm John Watson. I'm his friend," he explained.

"Ah, I know who you are. Captain Watson, of the fifth Northumberland Fusiliers. It seems like you'll be capable for this job after all. You may call me M," M said as he shook hands with him.

"Wait, what job-" John began.

"Yes, now that we're through with introductions, can we get on with it?" Mycroft interrupted, yet his statement went unnoticed.

"I was performing an experiment when your men ever so rudely pulled me out of the house and dragged me here. Now, what is this all about?" Sherlock said.

"006, it is your obligation to report to duty when needed," M argued.

"H-hang on, did you just-" John stammered. He looked at Sherlock in disbelief and then at Mycroft and Q. "What's happening here?" he demanded.

"Mycroft and I are both former MI6 agents, 005 and 006," Sherlock sighed.

"So, you're in league with men like James Bond? Why didn't you mention this earlier?" John blurted out. He couldn't believe that his best friend had worked with legendary spies like James Bond and it was a little startling (if not, unsettling).

"I don't just march about, telling people I'm an MI6 agent, John," Sherlock muttered.

"Would have been nice to know," he grumbled as he sat down on the chair. John glanced at Q, who sat next to him, with curiosity. "Who are you?" he said.

"Call me Q. I'm Sherlock's younger brother," he said.

Despite his initial shock, John let out a small chuckle. "And just when I thought two of you was bad enough. Nice to meet you," he said, giving a slight smile to the youngest Holmes.

"Trust me, I'm far more bearable than these two maniacs," Q snorted.

"Well, I'm glad to see that you're not as bad as the other two," John shrugged.

"Don't listen to him, John. Quit being a prat, Sherrinford," Mycroft said, without looking up.

Q merely nodded at John and continued to argue with Mycroft. "Well, don't be a goody-two-shoes, Mycroft. You're just mad because mother likes me better," he said almost childishly.

"That's preposterous. I am her firstborn, so therefore, I get all of her love," Mycroft said stubbornly.

"Really? That's a load of rubbish. She only puts up with you every time you rush up to her with an achievement of yours. 'Mummy, look what I did!'" Q said mockingly.

"He does present several good points of argument," Sherlock pointed out.

"This is hardly a fair argument. It's two against one-" Mycroft protested.

"Alright boys, I'm assuming there is something important to be done," John said, rolling his eyes.

"I agree with John. As much as I enjoy watching a Holmes family reunion, there are things we need to take care of. All of you, shut up!" M said. The room finally went silent but Mycroft and Q still seemed to be glaring at each other. M stared at them for a moment and let out a heavy sigh.

"Honestly, I don't know how Violet deals with you three. Patience of a saint, if I ever saw one," he muttered as he pressed his fingers to his temples.

"That's lovely and all but can you tell us why we're all here? I'd actually like to get back to work," Q said impatiently.

"I was getting to that, Q. Anyway, all of you are here because we have a problem that needs to be dealt with. Two days ago, Mycroft informed me that a man named Thomas Maxwell was assassinated. Aside from being a prominent political figure, he was also 003 and was in the running for Prime Minister," M said.

"And why does this concern me?" Sherlock said, raising an eyebrow.

"Thomas Maxwell wasn't dealing with England selectively. It is rumoured that he had dealings with a weapons trafficking ring in (ironically) Switzerland. I need you and your friend to head to Berne in three days to determine who killed him and who the head of the ring is so we can send one of our agents to bust him," M said.

"Before you say anything or go anywhere, I have specific jobs for each of you. Q, I would like you to examine Maxwell's phone. See if he received any threatening texts and track them if he did. Also, I need the Q-Branch to provide them with some weapons. When can you get them?" M asked.

"We have some new things developed that they can take with them today," Q replied.

"Excellent. Sherlock and John, you can both head down there after this is done. Mycroft, I would like you to handle the more public side of this and convey his death as an accident, so as to avoid any negative political implications. We don't want the Swiss on our bad side. Sherlock and John, go down with Q," he commanded.

"Alright. Come along, John," Sherlock said as he stood up. All four men headed out of the office and Mycroft looked at them.

"I'll be heading back to the office. Do be careful in Switzerland, you two," he said as he shook hands with both of them. He glanced at Q and nodded at him. "It's been lovely seeing you, Q," he said.

"Take care, Mycroft," Q said, at least attempting to be civil. He watched his brother head off and Q went down the hallway with Sherlock and John in tow.

"I hate talking with him. It's terribly awkward," he muttered as he ambled down the stone steps.

"That make two of us," Sherlock agreed. The trio rounded the corner and walked into the Q-Branch, where they were all surprised when they saw a brown haired woman tossing a knife in their general direction. It didn't hit anyone, but stuck itself firmly into the bulls-eye paper on the cork board next to Q.

"Alexa, what the hell was that?" Q said, sounding surprised. His gaze went from the oddly shaped knife then back to her.

"There you are. I made pen-knives while you were gone," she said cheerfully.

"That's a saying, isn't it? The pen is mightier than the sword. You just took a more literal take on it," he chuckled.

"Exactly. I wondered what would happen when the pen and the sword were the same thing, so hence this idea came to fruition," Alexa said.

"What are they like?" Q said as he and the three men walked past her.

"Well, they fly straighter than the normal sort and are a bit lighter. On top of that, they look like pens," she said nonchalantly as she threw two more that hit in the same area.

"Just...be careful. You could have hit me," Q grumbled as he walked back to his desk.

"Actually, you're quite safe. She never seems to miss, unless she does it on purpose," George called as he looked up from the computer he was dismantling.

"Exactly! You're perfectly safe, considering how my knife throwing results came out," Alexa said as she laid the target paper on his desk. She had not missed the centre circle even once and Q glanced at the paper with a rather thoughtful look on his face.

"Well, that's unexpected. You never seem to fail to surprise me," he said, shaking his head.

"I consider that to be a good thing. It would be far too dull if I didn't," Alexa said as she laid out her knives on the table and sat down.

"Thank you for the tea, by the way," he said as he typed in his computer password.

"Anyone could have made it," she pointed out. "Why say me?"

"I know you made it because you did it just the way I like it. I must have mentioned it to you a while ago. George and Joy add sugar and Michael substitutes milk with creamer. The telltale giveaway is that the tea you make me is always progressively weaker in taste, because you have the habit of re-using the tea bags. Frankly, the tea's quite weak sometimes but I suppose it's your thing, isn't it?" Q said, taking a sip of his tea.

"Who wouldn't re-use the bag? It's tea leaves gone to waste!" Alexa exclaimed.

"Alexa, you do realize that there are extras in the cabinet?" he said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, yes..." she said, her voice trailing off. "But it's still wasteful!"

"Whatever you say, then," Q said, chuckling to himself. A sudden thought occurred to her and she looked back up.

"Wait, what about William and Ryan? Don't they make you tea?" Alexa asked. There was a collective roar of laughter that filled the room that only served to confuse Alexa.

"I have banned those two from ever making me tea. The last time they did it, they spiked it with whiskey. Quite a bit, too," he said. There was a look of surprise on Alexa's face and she smirked a little.

"How did that turn out?" she asked.

"Well, that was a terrible day," Q said with a shake of his head.

"I disagree completely. That was an excellent day," William said with a smirk.

"I had a presentation to give!" he protested.

"In fairness, I think you did alright. No one could tell that you were slightly drunk," Michael said.

"Not until he nearly fell off the stage," Ryan said under his breath. This caused the whole room to burst into laughter once more and Q shook his head.

"We don't talk about that incident, alright everyone?" Q said firmly.

"Alright," Alexa said, smiling lightly. She sat back down at her desk and Joy happened to glance back at her. The woman took notice of the two men standing rather awkwardly near the door.

"Q, did we get new agents?" Joy said.

"Oh, I nearly forgot about them. Everyone, this is Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson. Sherlock Holmes was 006, so I'd like you all to get familiar with him. Dr. Watson is his friend and fellow conspirator, so he'll be here frequently as well," he said as he motioned to the two men. Q went back towards them and led them forward to introduce them to his team. As Q approached Sherlock, Q noted the smirk on his older brother's lips with interest.

"My, the chemistry between you two is simply palpable. Mother would love to meet this one," he said in a low tone. Q's eyes widened slightly, and he glared at his brother warningly.

"Shut up, Sherlock," Q hissed. "It's not like that."

"For heaven's sake, Sherlock, don't embarrass him," John sighed.

"I'm his older brother. What else am I supposed to do?" he said as Q led them towards the desks. John rolled his eyes and listened as Q went to each person, introducing the two men to his team. It was fair to say that Sherlock seemed bored, but John attempted to keep him from showing it. Q soon got to where Alexa was sitting and she stood up to greet them.

"I'm Alexandra Abbott. It's nice to meet you," she said as she gave each of them a firm handshake. Sherlock studied her carefully without saying a word and when she shook hands with John, he finally spoke.

"You're certainly an odd one."

Alexa turned slightly and looked at him. "Sorry?" she said, looking puzzled.

"Everything about you is strange. There is a very faint accent in your voice. It's hardly what one calls noticeable but I presume that it is Eastern European to some degree. I see that you have-" Sherlock began. Q interrupted him with an annoyed groan and shook his head.

"Sherlock, shut up. Nobody wants to hear it," he said.

"But look at her! She's like a gold mine for deductions. I can't possibly just ignore all of it," Sherlock argued. Alexa stared at the man in confusion and John patted her on the shoulder reassuringly.

"He's been sitting idly in the flat for weeks now and he's been dying to show off. Just ignore him," John said.

"Well, I'll try," Alexa said, looking bewildered. Sherlock pointedly ignored Q and continued his deductions.

"As I was saying, you possess several scars on your arms that have faded to be barely noticeable over time, but don't seem to be caused by self harm. You carry yourself in a careful and wary manner, like you were told never to trust anyone for too long," he said.

"And what might that imply, Mr. Holmes?" Alexa said carefully. She knew that he was undeniably clever (given what she had seen in the news) and that she was treading on dangerous grounds. He could reveal her true identity, if she didn't respond correctly.

"You're a former soldier of Eastern European descent," he said. Alexa was both impressed and appalled that he could tell so quickly but she kept her composure.

"Wrong," Alexa said simply.

"Come again?" Sherlock said.

"I'm not a soldier, not in the least," she said smoothly. Her tone was confident and she seemed to be utterly satisfied with her answer. However, he knew that she was lying by the way she blinked and shifted her gaze. He could not figure out why and decided not to say anything, merely nodding in response.

"What about your race? Did I get that right?" he said.

"I wouldn't know. I'm an orphan from Dover," Alexa shrugged. At this point, Q wanted to get on with it and glared at his older brother.

"Sherlock, stop harassing Alexa. Come on, I have things to show you," he said as he led him along.

Sherlock followed Q wordlessly but looked back at Alexa with a wary gleam in his eye. He was generally indifferent to Mycroft but when it came to Q, he found that he had a soft spot for his youngest brother. Sherlock could tell from the start that Q and Alexa had something different brewing between them and he decided to find out more about this girl, to see what Q was getting himself into. He just didn't want him to get involved with a potentially dangerous woman who most likely break his heart.

"-herlock, did you just hear anything Q said?" John said, interrupting his current train of thought. The dark haired man blinked and returned his gaze to Q.

"No," he said bluntly.

"Would it kill you to listen?" Q said, looking annoyed.

"Fine, go on with it," he sighed.

"Alright. This gun will be activated by your palm print. Whatever you do, don't lose it," Q warned.

"What happens if I do?" Sherlock asked.

"You would owe me about £700. These guns are very expensive to manufacture," he grumbled.

"Fine, I can give it back. Are there any files I need to see?" he asked.

"I've already loaded them onto this jump drive. The records department is constructing a new identity file for both of you, but they have yet to make it because they keep sending your photographic credentials as a gif file," Q said, looking annoyed. Sherlock merely nodded and took the weapons for both of them when he heard the sharp squeak of a chair turning around.

"Say that again," Alexa said as she looked over at Q.

"What?" he replied, looking startled.

"What file extension does the records department keep sending it as?" she asked.

"A gif file," Q replied. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"Wait, isn't it pronounced with a J, like that American peanut butter brand, Jif? The word gin is pronounced like that too," Alexa said.

"No, it's pronounced with a G. It stands for Graphic Interchange Format," he replied.

"I've never heard it said like that," Alexa stated.

"I'm fairly certain it's gif, not jif," Q argued.

"Everyone says it as jif," she retorted.

"That can't be true! Does anyone here actually pronounce it like that besides Alexa?" he said.

"My professor in uni always said it was jif," Michael said with a shrug.

"No, I thought it was gif. That's what I called it when I lived in Tokyo," Joy said.

"Maybe it depends on where you're from," George said thoughtfully.

"This is completely ridiculous. It's obvious that it's with a G," Sherlock muttered, with a roll of his eyes. John did not reply and in about a minute or two, his eyes lit up.

"Actually, the real pronunciation is with a J. The creator of the gif, Steven Wilhite said so," John said

"I told you!" Alexa said triumphantly. Both Q and Sherlock looked surprised, seeing that they were both on the wrong side.

"You're not serious, are you?" Q said.

"I remember reading about this while I was blogging," John shrugged. "The verdict is that the word gif is said with a j."

"Well, I refuse to say it as such. I'll call it a jif when I'm dead," Q said indignantly.

"Is that all, Q?" Sherlock interrupted, attempting to get back on topic.

"Oh, right. Yes, this is it. I've given you what you need, so do be careful in Switzerland. I would hate to have to plan a funeral upon your return. Mycroft would be very displeased," he said as he took a sip of his now-cold tea.

"We'll be fine. Come along, John," he said as he turned on his heel to leave. John said a quick goodbye to the Q-Branch and left Q and everyone else in silence.

"What a strange pair those two are!" Michael said, shaking his head.

"Well, I quite like them. Seemed like they both had their own...quirks," Joy said, smiling slightly.

"If you only knew," Q smirked as he turned back to his computer.

* * *

Later that day, Alexa sat with Q at the Café du Nord. Eve had gone to lunch with James and Joy was back at the Q-Branch, working on decrypting a new document. That left her to have lunch with Q, which had now become a semi-regular event. Their lunch was now dwindling to a close and she sat with him now, in a table at the edge of the café.

"So, is 006 related to you?" Alexa said as he took a sip of her remaining coffee.

"He is. Sherlock is my older brother. You didn't meet him, but my eldest brother Mycroft was here too," Q replied.

"Mycroft? Wasn't he 005?" she said.

"Yes, but both of my brothers left the MI6 a while ago. Sherlock's a consulting detective. Mycroft, on the other hand, is a...politician, of sorts," he replied.

"Ah, I see. You know, you and Sherlock look a lot alike. The resemblance is uncanny," she said with a nod. Alexa studied him and she leaned back in her chair, with her brows furrowing slightly. "Your brothers both have really odd names. What about you?"

"I won't say it," he said stubbornly.

"Why not?"

"I hate it. I honestly have no idea where it came from or what my mother was even thinking when she chose that name," Q grumbled.

"Is it...Stephen?" Alexa said.

"You're on the correct letter. Keep guessing," Q said, looking amused.

"Samuel."

"Wrong," he replied.

"Simon?" Alexa said hesitantly.

"Nope," Q said.

"Aha! I bet it's Sebastian," she said, looking pleased with herself.

"That's not even close," he said. Her face fell and she frowned almost childishly, before taking a sip of her coffee once more.

"Damn, I thought I had it then," she muttered. "I give up. What is it?"

"Like I said, I won't tell you," Q chuckled.

"Fine, I'll go find out myself," Alexa said.

"Oh, don't go poking around my past like that. You won't find anything interesting anyway. You, on the other hand..." he began, looking quite thoughtful.

Alexa saw the gleam in his eye that told her that it was his turn to interrogate her and she decided that she didn't feel like divulging such information today. Alexa decided to divert his attention away from her past and to a different subject.

"I don't mean to pry, but does Sherlock always do that?" Alexa asked.

"Do what?" Q replied as he stood up. They both set some money on the table and exited the cafe, before heading down the street. The rain poured down on the streets of London, so he shared an umbrella with Alexa like the chivalrous gentleman he was raised to be.

"He says everything about you in one go, like he knows everything about you," she said.

"Oh, yeah. He does that all the time. It's really quite annoying," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"What about you? Can you do that too?" Alexa said curiously.

"Well, to some degree, I suppose. I'm not like him, who bases his entire career on such an ability. I chose not to be as adept because I saw how annoying it was from both of my brothers and I didn't want to unleash that hell on the rest of the world," he replied.

"Well, that's quite considerate. It must get annoying fairly quickly," she said.

"It does. However, I have been dying to deduce you for quite a while now," Q said as he looked at her again.

"May I?" he said. Alexa wondered if this was a good idea, but he didn't seem like he was going to relent. She merely sighed and gave him a nod.

"Go ahead. Tell me what you think of me," Alexa said with a shrug as she continued to walk.

"You have a good work ethic. You never seem to do anything by halves. You're a bit withdrawn, a person who doesn't usually encourage friendship. You don't want anyone interfering with your personal life. Other than that, your appearances indicate that you are of Russian nationality, given by the slight retroussé of your nose and your rather Byzantine features. Furthermore, you have a very faint accent in your voice that you try to mask. Don't deny it, because I hear it slip sometimes when you're not thinking. You tend to roll your r's whenever you get really passionate or angry about something. Sometimes, your intonation is rising in the middle when you're not thinking about it, which is most prevalent in Slavic languages," he said.

"However, what I find interesting is that you even have such characteristics today, since you grew up as an orphan in Dover, I believe. Looking like a Russian is one thing since there is always the possibility that your parents were biologically Russian, but if you really did grow up in Dover, you would have no traces of a Russian accent," he said.

"You have a point," she said softly.

"So, what are you really?" he said.

"I'm Alexa Abbott," she replied smartly.

"Oh, come on. There has to be more to you. I never got an explanation for everything I just unearthed," Q grumbled.

"Well, to answer your question, I started learning Russian when I was young. I went to a school that set us under a curriculum where we would learn a secondary language besides English. We took a test to see which would fit us best and naturally, I was sent off to learn Russian. That's why I have a bit of an accent," she lied. Alexa glanced down to grab her key card, effectively avoiding his gaze.

"Ah, I see," he murmured. He wondered if she was telling the truth, but had the niggling feeling that she was saying otherwise. Q scanned his key card to get in and the two went down the hallways of the MI6 base, saying nothing more about the topic. However, there was only one thing that he was at least sure that was true.

Alexandra Abbott certainly wasn't telling him her whole story.

* * *


	9. Chapter 8

_Love does not begin the way we think it does._

_**-James A. Baldwin** _

* * *

Twelve days had gone by and the events in Switzerland (now nicknamed the Maxwell Affair) had come to pass. Sherlock and John had busted the weapons dealing ring and it had turned out that 003 had bargained with more countries other than Switzerland. He had connections with Germany, The USA, Iran, and Russia. Thomas Maxwell had given them sensitive MI6 information in the form of an external hard drive, in order to secure their allegiances in the event of a world crisis.

The nature of the information that he relayed was not entirely clear; there were a fair amount of things said and transferred, so it was hard to keep track of everything that had been revealed. However, it was to everyone's understanding that it could be potentially consequential and to keep a sharp lookout for any complications that might arise from it. Nevertheless, the matter was quickly resolved and with the help of Dr. Watson, the two were able to imprison the weapons dealers in Switzerland and recovered the stolen drive. With that, the Maxwell Affair soon winded down to a close and most assumed that was the end of it. However, a cloud of doubt still remained, as if it were a prelude some unforeseen calamity.

* * *

Back in London, several people had other things on their minds. Christmas was in only three days, which meant that the annual MI6 Holiday Celebration was approaching. It was not your typical run-of-the-mill office party; the whole affair was rather extravagant in nature and was typically held in the esteemed Dorcaster Ballroom in the Dorcaster Hotel. It was quite an elegant affair and also what Joy and Eve believed to be the perfect place to get Alexa and Q together. They both figured that it was a lovely situation for both of them, but the trouble was getting any of it set up. In fact, they were unsure if the two could be a couple or if they were set on remaining close friends.

Likewise, Alexa frequently thought of the same situation as well. There was a lot to love about Q and she thought that maybe, just maybe, they could be more than friends. Although it had only been a few months since her hiring, Alexa had come to fully appreciate Q in his entirety, from his disorganized yet organized mind to his strange and somewhat fascinating quirks. She thought he was genuinely funny, with a rather ironic sense of humor, and in turn, he thought she was witty (if not, borderline sarcastic). As she spent more time with him, she found that she felt differently now. Every time she saw him, the most curious feeling would arise in her and she found that her heart beat a little quicker whenever she saw him. It was an unfamiliar sensation, but it wasn't unwelcome. The feeling bewildered Alexa to some extent and she soon began to wonder- could this be what love really felt like?

She would not deny that she was attracted to him. What was there not to like? He was undeniably handsome, not to mention the fact that he was quite funny and really nice as well. However, what she loved about him most was the fact that he would stop at nothing to make sure that everything was alright. If Q saw something wrong, he would state it outright in a simple and respectful manner. If conflict was occurring, Q would immediately correct it, whilst making sure that both parties were treated equally. The way that he could fix things like that was an admirable trait, if not, one that she lacked.

The fact that he was her boss was not the thing that was holding her back now. It was really that small ounce of fear she possessed, that he would think of her differently if he found out about her past. In the event that something did happen and the Agency found her, she didn't want Q to be harmed in any way. The last thing she wanted was for him to get hurt on her behalf, so she tried to stamp out and ignore her growing attachment to him.

It was not only Alexa who began feeling this way. Q did not know it, but he was slowly falling in love with her as well. He didn't think about his feelings for her very often but there were moments of clarity where he would feel his heart beat erratically, like when she would wear something nice to work or whenever she would laugh or smile. Q also always noticed her little quirks as well, like the fact that she came in at 8:59 every morning and how she always tended to forget her umbrella.

He was also unsure if he noticed too much, but he found that he liked it when her lips would twist up almost demurely at the corners whenever she smiled. Her eyes shone with a natural, continuous impression of curiosity, like she was always watching carefully. Underneath her polite and quiet exterior was a sort of passion that was unparalleled to anything else. Her looks and charm would undoubtedly bring no end of misery to him, if he wasn't careful.

He would also frequently observe her, to see what made her so different. Q had delved into her past a little further and was able to put together several ideas. The information he found was honestly rather alarming, because Sherlock's deduction had a 62% chance of being correct (which was quite higher than it should have been). There was a considerable amount of evidence that he had deemed as irrelevant before before and her past seemed so well-constructed to the point where just didn't seem right to him. However, he hesitated when he realized that he didn't know what to expect and if she would like it if he knew about it. A certain degree of fear remained in his heart that she would turn out like his ex-girlfriend. Q was never sure if he could handle a pain like that ever again, and he was torn between doing his job by researching on his own or waiting for her to explain it to him. This doubt remained and would not be expelled until someone helped him clear up the matter. Similarly, this applied to his emotional situation. Q would not come to realize his true emotions until that fateful day when his family decided to become involved in his love life.

* * *

_**(December 22, 2012- 6:52 PM)** _

A black car drove up a cobblestone driveway, that led to a grand and elegant home with a well-trimmed lawn that was blanketed in snow. The vehicle soon stopped and Q stepped out of his car and shut the door. He looked back at the vehicle and sighed. It took too much effort and money to get here, considering that the price of gasoline was almost £3 per liter. He barely used this car in the first place, except when he came to Petersfield for the sporadic Saturday get-togethers his mother loved to arrange. But then again, he realized that he would have to put up with it, lest he fly out here. That was a more expensive option, not to mention unpleasant (given his fear of planes).

"I could have ridden with Sherlock," he grumbled as he walked up to the marble steps. Q waited at the front door of the Holmes Manor before the door was answered by his mother, Violet Holmes.

Violet Holmes (née Rousseau) had been the daughter of a wealthy entrepreneur in France and she had gone to college for business and management. Violet became one of the old M's assistants before she met their currently deceased father, Siger Holmes and quit to be married. However, she still kept her ties to the MI6 active and was also a longtime friend of Gareth Mallory.

She was a rather frail looking woman, but that was the extent of her fragility. Violet Holmes could only compare to a lioness, fiercely protecting her three children (despite the fact that they had all grown up now). She had long chestnut brown hair and it would always be styled in an elegant bun. Violet had sharp, blue eyes that always seemed to be watching your every move and she looked like an intimidating figure. In reality, she was quite a pleasant woman who worried about her children far too much than an average mother would.

"Sherrinford! It's nice to see you. You've grown taller," she said as she wrapped her arms around her son. Her bird-like figure wavered slightly and she squeezed his arms. "You're getting thinner, love. Have you been eating properly?" she said sternly.

"Hello, mum. I go by Q now," he pointed out as he gave his mother a hug. He leant back slightly as she squeezed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Yes, I have been eating properly. You don't have to fret, mum. I'm fine."

"Fine, fine. But I did hear all about that. It's a lovely position and I'm so proud of you. I'm sure that your father would be too," she said as she ushered him inside. The foyer was silent as he stepped in and he stared at the grand staircase where he used to play as a child. Nothing had changed which was somewhat comforting, as he lived in an ever-changing world today.

"Where's Mycroft and Sherlock?" he said as he looked around.

"Mycroft is in the dining room. Sherlock will probably be late, once again," she said with a sigh.

"He's always late," Q scoffed. "By the way, have you taken any of the books out of my room?"

"I don't go into your room. I know how you are. I wouldn't want to mess up the order of it," Violet said.

"I'll be there for a bit. There's a few things I need I grab. Call me when Sherlock gets here," he said as he climbed up the stairs.

In reality, Q really didn't need anything. He just didn't want to wait in a room with Mycroft for thirty minutes because it was terribly awkward. They had never really seen eye to eye, since he was considerably older than him and it was always a bit strange when he talked to him. They had different sort of ideals in mind so they did not really see eye to eye.

Q went into his room and he smirked, at realizing that his mother was correct. The room was the exact same as when he had left for university. There was a microscope that sat long unused at the table and his bookshelf was filled with different books on Javascript, Programming, and other computer related subjects. He opened the closet to find a server box full of different coloured wires. It was rather nice to know that nobody touched his things and he ambled around the room, pretending to look for something.

It took almost ten minutes, but he finally heard the bell ring downstairs. Q let out a sigh of relief and grabbed two books about computational theory before nearly tripping over a small box on the foot of his bed. He opened it up to find several articles about his success in university and he noticed several medals hanging on the wall that he had won while he was there. Q flipped through the contents of the box and found himself smiling, at knowing that his mother had kept all of this. He found a large leather book in the box and he opened it to find a yearbook, of sorts. There were no individual photographs of the students; there were photos of student organizations and their various endeavors. He flipped through the faded pages and stopped when he saw photos of his graduation in the papers.

Q saw photographs of his younger self giving a speech and there was a faded paper with a copy of his summa cum laude acceptance speech. He saw only one photograph of Alexa in the entire 100 page book, and it was when she had accepted her diploma. In the picture, she still looked the way she did today and he was unable to find much else about her.

Q put the book back in the box and headed downstairs, where he met both of his brothers and his mother in the dining room.

"Ah, there you are. Take a seat, love," Violet said as she sat down at her own chair. She looked at all three of her sons as they sat at the table with a hint of pride in her eyes and began their dinner.

They made small conversation over a plate of seasoned pork that was cooked to perfection. Violet made an effort to keep all of her sons in good spirits tonight, since their dinners usually ended in someone arguing with someone. After they finished dinner, the four of them sat in front of the fireplace at the sitting room, where they talked about the various happenings in their lives.

"Is there anything interesting happening with your work, Sherrinford? Or do you go by Q now?" she asked.

"Either works, mum," he shrugged. "Nothing much had been taking place."

"Well, aside from the fact that you seem to be quite attached to that coworker of yours," Sherlock said, smirking slightly.

"Which one?" Q said as he looked up at his older brother.

"Miss Abbott, the one I deduced. I saw her when I came by," Sherlock said. "I mentioned her to Mycroft as well."

"You know, both of us have been watching your interactions with her ever since," Mycroft said thoughtfully as he took a sip of his wine.

"Ooh, a girl? What's this one like?" Violet said curiously. She had never really thought that Q was cut out for love and was surprised to hear him spending time with anyone, much less someone of the opposite gender. To be honest, she had suspected him of being gay before she heard about his first girlfriend but she had never stated it outright.

"It's nothing," Q mumbled as he looked at the dancing flames in the fireplace.

"Who is she? Is she nice?" she persisted.

"Her name is Alexa. She's...well, she is an interesting individual. Alexa is nice and a bit shy, unless you actually speak to her. She's quite intelligent and unlike some people, she understands what I'm saying when I talk with her about technology," Q said.

"How charming. He's finally found a woman whom he can speak geek to," Sherlock said with a smirk.

"Go on, love. Tell me more about this Alexa," Violet said impatiently, wanting to hear about her youngest son's current love life.

"She's...undeniably curious about a lot of things and although she is quiet, that doesn't mean that she doesn't have a backbone. She's strong, both emotionally and physically," he replied.

"What else have you learned about her?" she said.

"Alexa seems to have many different sides to her and quite frankly, it's interesting to see her reveal each of them. She's rather secretive and I'm beginning to wonder if I should find out what she could be hiding," Q said.

"Ah, the enigmatic type. Well, what does she look like? Is she pretty?" Violet asked.

"I can't deny the fact that she is quite lovely," he replied, nodding thoughtfully. Q had never acknowledged that thought out loud and found it surprisingly easy to state that he did find her pretty.

"Oh, have you taken her out on a date yet? Maybe you can ask her to that Christmas party that's-" his mother began.

"I am not taking her out on a date. I am her boss and she is both my friend and co-worker. That would be grossly inappropriate," Q stated firmly.

"Asking her out on a date and asking her to accompany you to a party are two different things," Mycroft interjected.

"I'm not entirely sure if that would give off the correct signals," he replied.

"I accompanied my assistant to a political soirée once and no one thought anything of it," Mycroft said.

"Well, this is a different scenario. I've seen how he is around her. You're interested in this one, aren't you?" Sherlock said.

"No. Don't be silly, Sherlock. I have no romantic feelings for her whatsoever," Q said defensively. He glared at his brother almost childishly and shook his head defiantly.

"You're being quite defensive, for a man who claims to have no romantic feelings for her. It's a bit amusing to see you in denial like this, really," Sherlock smirked.

"That is a ridiculous and false notion," he said stubbornly.

"Like I said, your denial is quite simply endearing," he teased. Q merely rolled his eyes and fiddled with the edge of his shirt, ignoring both of them for the time being.

"Be entirely honest with yourself," Mycroft said. "What exactly does that woman mean to you?"

"I..." he said, with a moment of hesitation. It occurred to him that he found Alexa to be truly lovely but he was unsure of how to feel. She was his friend and he was her boss as well. He didn't want her to turn out like his former girlfriend had. However, he did feel some sort of attraction to her but he didn't know if he could even take action on such a thing.

"We're just good friends," he said firmly, attempting to make himself believe that this was the truth.

"Well, ask her out anyway. I'm sure you've done it before, haven't you?" Sherlock said.

"I have asked her to have dinner with me before. But this isn't the same," he argued.

"It isn't, but just give it a chance. I know that what happened with Kate was...well, hard for you to deal with but that shouldn't keep you from trying again," Violet piped up. She wanted nothing more than to see her son happy and if this Alexa could ensure his joy, then she didn't see why he should hesitate.

With these words, Sherlock and Mycroft were sure that Q had fallen for their mother's tactic hook, line, and sinker. They both knew that Q hated seeing their mother worry over him and the concern in her eyes only fueled the cause even further. He stood up and put on his coat, before fishing his car keys out of his pocket.

"I'll try but I doubt she'd agree to it," he said. Q gave his mother a hug and said goodbye to both of his brothers, before taking his books and leaving the house.

Violet watched her son's car leave the driveway and turned back to face Mycroft and Sherlock. "Tell me, what's this girl like? Is there are chance that things could end badly with this one?" she said worriedly.

"We've both been keeping tabs on her. She's a strange one," Sherlock remarked.

"How so?" Violet said, looking alarmed.

"There's just something about her that isn't right. I've looked at her files and I'm almost a hundred percent sure that her past is forged. It's well-fabricated, if not, to an extreme extent. Everything that dates back to her childhood eventually leads to an untraceable lead or a dead end," Mycroft said.

"A dead end?" she echoed blankly.

"Simply put, mum, she's a ghost. If you take away this current identity of hers, you won't find anything. She doesn't appear in any other databases in any government across the globe," he said.

"Oh dear. Did I make a mistake in getting him involved with her?" she fretted as she wrung her hands in her lap nervously.

"Well, we haven't figured out why she's hiding her true identity but we'll find out soon. For now, he should be perfectly fine," Sherlock said casually. Mycroft gave him a hesitant glance, because he had heard what Sherlock had deduced out of Alexa. He responded back with a pointed stare that told him to stay quiet and thus, the politician was silenced.

"Alright, if you say so. I'll meet her on Monday anyway, so I can make my own judgements there," she sighed. "I'm so glad you two care for your little brother. I worry about him quite a bit."

"We wouldn't have it any other way," Mycroft said, smirking slightly.

* * *

_**(December 23, 2013- 10:14 AM)** _

The shrill ring of the doorbell broke the silence that had settled in Alexa's flat and she let out a groan. She never woke up earlier than eleven o'clock on the weekends and today was no exception. The doorbell kept ringing and eventually, she rolled over to check the time and ended up falling out of bed, laying on the floor in a heap of blankets. Alexa yawned and stood up, ran a hand through her unruly hair in an attempt to make it a bit neater, and replaced her tank top with a gray long sleeve shirt. She quickly brushed her teeth and snuck a look in the mirror, to see how she looked. After deciding that it was perfectly acceptable to answer the door in her plaid pyjama pants, she headed downstairs. Alexa rubbed her eyes blearily and opened the door.

"Can I help you?" she said as she let out a yawn.

"Morning, Alexa," Q said as he glanced at her appearance curiously. The sound of his voice seemed to fully wake her up and she stared at him.

"Oh! Er, good morning to you as well," she said, looking embarrassed. "

"Did I wake you? Sorry about that," he said.

"It's alright," she shrugged. Alexa studied him for a moment and stepped aside.

"Would you like to come in?" she asked. "I'll make some tea or something."

"No, it's fine. I was just dropping by to...ask you something," Q said, looking sheepish.

"Oh? What would that be?" Alexa said curiously.

"Well, it's about that holiday thing tomorrow and I was wondering if you, erm...happened to be going with anyone," he said, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

"Oh, I'm not going with anyone. No one's asked me about it," she shrugged.

"Would you like to go with me?" Q asked hesitantly. Alexa looked surprised and she found that she didn't exactly know what to say.

"I mean, you don't have to. Feel free to say no. I won't be offended at all," he said hastily. It began to sink in that he had really asked her this and she found herself smiling in response.

"I would love to," Alexa said.

"You...would?" Q asked, looking positively surprised.

"Yes. I think it would be lovely," she replied.

"Really? Hmm, I honestly thought you would say no," he chuckled.

"Well, for once you're wrong. I would love to go with you," she said, giving him that smile of hers that always made his heart beat a little quicker than it should. He reminded himself that they were just friends and quickly shook off thoughts of anything else.

"That's good. I'll come by at seven tomorrow, then," he said.

"Yeah, sounds good," Alexa said, sounding a bit more cheerful than before.

"Alright. I'll see you then," he said as he went off. Q waved goodbye and she shut the door, feeling quite cheerful. Her spirits were momentarily dampened when she realized that she didn't have anything to wear. Alexa honestly hadn't even planned on going, since she didn't have anyone to go with. Although the action was somewhat juvenile, Alexa decided to call Joy and Eve to see if they could help her out since she always had a hard time picking out dresses.

Alexa called both women and they decided to meet at Mayfair Street later at eleven. She ate a rather unimpressive breakfast of bagels and coffee, before heading up to her bedroom to put on a white sweater, a pair of jeans, and a pair of boots. Alexa grabbed her purse and made her way to the Tube stop.

She took the train to Mayfair Street and met Joy and Eve at a café. Alexa waved at the two women and the three congregated on the sidewalk in front of the café.

"Morning," Alexa said.

"Hi," Joy said. "So, what's up?"

"Yeah, you weren't exactly clear on why we're here when you called this morning," Eve said accusingly.

"Well, I need your help. I need to pick out a dress for that party tomorrow," Alexa confessed.

"I thought you didn't want to go," Joy said, looking puzzled.

"Well, I wasn't going to go because nobody asked me. But then, Q came to my doorstep this morning and asked me if I could accompany him to the party,"Alexa said. Both women instantly exchanged rather devious looks and Alexa stared at them suspiciously.

"What was that look for?" she said warily.

"Nothing, nothing. We'll make sure that you look pretty," Eve said reassuringly. A smile lit up Alexa's face and she looked both relieved and joyful.

"Thank god. I can't pick out dresses for the life of me," Alexa sighed.

"Hang on, did he say this was a date?" Joy said.

"Er, no. He didn't really specify, but I wouldn't think of it like that," she replied as they walked down the street.

"By the time we're done with you, he'll wish that he would have taken you out on a date before," Eve said. Alexa rolled her eyes and thus, the women began their search.

They went in and out of Mayfair Street's designer boutiques for the majority of the day, walking out empty handed out of each store. It was a bit of a challenge for Eve and Joy, because they could not pinpoint exactly what would look best on Alexa. Simply put, nothing had impressed them yet.

It was seven o'clock when they had reached DuCoeur, a boutique at the end of Mayfair Street. The shop was quite small, but the clothes looked to be rather impressive and a bit on the expensive end. They entered the empty store and were immediately greeted by a young woman who sported bright blonde hair.

"Can I help you ladies?" she said.

"Yes, we're looking for a dress to suit our friend," Eve replied as she motioned to Alexa.

The saleswoman studied Alexa carefully and nodded. "I'll see what we have in the back. In the meantime, feel free to look around," she said as she headed off. Alexa thanked the woman and the three of them took a look around the shop.

"Would you look good in mauve, Alexa?" Joy said as she held up a pale coloured dress. Eve and Alexa both looked at the dress and Eve shook her head.

"It's nice, but it's a bit of a dated colour. Remember, she has to look stunning," Eve called as looked through the racks.

"Yes, but it should still be subtle," Alexa said.

"Well, you should just take a chance on this one. Be a little sexy, you know? This doesn't happen everyday," Eve replied.

"I'm sure Q wouldn't mind that," Joy smirked. Both women burst into laughter and Alexa rolled her eyes. The saleswoman came back and informed them that everything in the back was the same as what they had on the floor.

Alexa turned back around and flipped through various shades of red, pinks, and blues. Her browsing was interrupted about fifteen minutes later, when she heard Joy and Eve call her name.

"What?" Alexa said as she turned around.

"We found one," Joy said. They showed her a one-shouldered black dress with diamond accents here and there. It had a silk skirt that (when she wore heels) would flow gracefully behind her, stopping at her ankles. Alexa raised an eyebrow and she nodded.

"I like it so far. May I try it on?" she said.

"By all means, go ahead,"the saleswoman said as she led Alexa to the dressing room. She slipped on the black garment and immediately noticed that it was backless. Alexa liked it overall, but she turned in the mirror and hoped that her scar wouldn't show. She figured that it wouldn't, since it was near the base of her spine. However, she still felt a little uneasy with showing off her back but she decided to take a chance on it anyway.

"How do I look?" Alexa asked as she cautiously stepped out of the dressing room. By the look on everyone's face, it was evident that this was the dress they had been looking for all afternoon.

"He's going to have a heart attack when he sees you, I swear," Joy chuckled.

"Is that a bad thing?" Alexa said as she carefully inspected herself in the mirror.

"Not at all, miss. Your date must be a lucky man," the saleswoman remarked, giving her a wink.

"Is it a bit too risqué?" she said worriedly.

"Risqué? Course not," Eve said matter-of-factly. "You should see what the younger interns wear."

"Now that's risqué," Joy agreed, letting out a laugh.

"Well, I am showing off my back. I certainly don't want him to think of me like that," she said with a shrug.

"It's sexy and it leaves just a bit of room for imagination," Eve said. "In simpler terms, it's lovely."

"Yes, it should be fine. It does look exquisite on you, miss," the woman remarked. Alexa took one last glance in the mirror and a grin spread across her lips.

"Alright, then. I'll take it," she said. The woman went to go ring up the dress and after several minutes, Alexa walked out of DuCoeur with a £250 dress in her shopping bag and a smile on her face. She thanked Eve and Joy and made her way home, where she put the dress on a hanger and unearthed her unused Louboutin pumps. Thankfully, she could dance in heels without falling over because she had established a good sense of balance from her ballet and gymnastics classes.

Alexa left her bedroom and ate her dinner, rushing through her daily bedtime routine. She wrapped the present she had been making Q for the past five weeks now and set out her clothes before heading off to bed, feeling undoubtedly excited for the events that would occur tomorrow.

* * *


	10. Chapter 9

_A mighty pain to love it is,_   
_And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;_   
_But of all pains, the greatest pain_   
_It is to love, but love in vain._

_**-Abraham Cowley** _

* * *

_**(December 24, 2012- 6:03 PM)** _

Christmas Eve.

It was the one holiday where you could smell love in the air, mixed in with the smell of a roasting ham or a delicious full turkey. The sound of carols and the unmistakeable noise of bells flooded the streets, along with the parents who rushed around the shops in an attempt to buy last-minute presents. Likewise, Christmas Eve was always terribly busy, and this one was no exception.

Alexa currently rushed around her house, attempting to get ready for the party. After taking a rather lengthy shower, she had finally heated up her curling iron and swore loudly when she nearly burnt her hand while attempting to curl her hair. After thirty minutes, she finally managed to arrange her dark brown hair into large, flowing curls that she brushed over her shoulder. She felt quite pleased with how her hair turned out and went back to her bedroom to slip her dress on.

Alexa put her dress on and looked at herself in the mirror, marveling at how the dress showed off her figure. She knew this wasn't a date but she at least hoped that Q would look twice when he saw her. Alexa went back to her vanity and applied a bit of makeup and applied a thin coat of lip gloss. She grabbed a bracelet out of her jewelry box and slipped it on. It had dozens of little diamonds stuck together on a narrow chain and she felt that it completed her look. By the time she was finished, it was nearly seven and she looked gorgeous. Alexa grabbed her coat and headed downstairs, upon hearing the bell ring.

"I'm coming," she called. Alexa put on her shoes and took one last look in the foyer mirror before opening the door.

"Hi," she said, giving him a smile. Q stared at her appearance with a mixture of awe and surprise. He thought she looked lovely before, but it wasn't until now that he realized how beautiful she really was. For once, he managed to stumble on his words and his brain scrambled for something to say.

"What are you wearing?" he finally blurted out. A look of worry crossed her face and she bit her bottom lip.

"Oh, is that a bad thing?" Alexa fretted.

"No, don't think that! What I meant was that..." Q began, his voice trailing off.

"Was what?" she said as she put her coat on. Alexa stopped to look at him and for a moment, their eyes locked before Q finally found what he wanted to say.

"...You look beautiful," he said softly, a small smile appearing on his face.

"Really? Because if I look terrible and you're just kidding, I swear I'll never forgive you," she said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Terrible? No, you look lovely," he scoffed. "Besides, you know that I would never joke about this sort of thing."

"Really?" she said, looking taken aback.

"I mean it. You really do look nice," he promised.

And with this, Alexa turned about ten different shades of pink. "Oh. Well, thank you," she said as she gave him that shy smile of hers that never failed to make his heart beat erratically. She turned off the lights in her house and followed Q to his car, where the two went off to go to the Dorcaster Hotel.

"I still haven't seen what you look like yet," Alexa said as they drove along the streets of London.

"You will eventually," he said reassuringly. "By the way, you'll probably meet my mother sometime tonight. She'll be there are well."

"Do you think she'll like me?" she said hesitantly.

"I'm sure she will, Alexa," he said, smiling slightly at her hesitance. "Don't worry about it."

Q parked his car and walked into the hotel with Alexa. They presented their invitations to the man in front of the ballroom doors and left their coats in the coat room. It was only then that Alexa had been able to fully appreciate Q's tuxedo and she quite liked it.

"You look...fantastic!" Alexa said with a smile.

"Thank you," he said, returning her grin. "Shall we?"

"Hang on, your tie is crooked," she said as she reached up to fix his bowtie.

"Is there any particular reason you decided to wear a red bowtie?" Alexa asked as she straightened the red fabric.

"Well, bowties are cool. Besides, if I wore a regular tie, it'd be too businesslike," he stated. Alexa merely chucked and after she was done, he led her by the arm and the two entered the Dorcaster Ballroom.

The room was elegantly decorated in an array of red and gold, with one area reserved for seating and the other for dancing. As the two of them entered the room, they undoubtedly caught the attention of Q's brothers.

"Well, would you look at that? He actually did it," Mycroft said with a smirk as he saw them approaching. The three of them turned around and Violet waved at her youngest son.

"There's my mum and my brothers," Q said to Alexa. "Would you like to meet them?"

"Sure," Alexa said. She felt nervous, for some inexplicable reason and when they approached, she felt like running away.

"Mum, this is Alexandra Abbott. Alexa, this is my mother, Violet Holmes," he said as he introduced her. Violet looked momentarily surprised, seeing that she hadn't expected Q's date to be that pretty. Alexa could feel the woman studying her carefully as they shook hands and she felt nervous, seeing that this woman had the looks and stature of a dowager queen.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Holmes," Alexa said politely.

"Please, call me Violet. It's lovely to meet you as well," Violet said, evidently looking delighted.

"This is my eldest brother, Mycroft, and I'm sure you recognize Sherlock," he said.

"I've heard a lot about you, Miss Abbott," Mycroft said as she shook hands.

"Nothing too incriminating, I hope," Alexa said.

"Well, I wouldn't say that. But it still is quite interesting," he said with a benevolent smile that made her slightly uneasy. Alexa and Q both took a seat at the table and they both began dinner. While they ate, she engaged in friendly conversation with his mother and it was there that his mother bombarded Alexa with questions.

"So, how old are you, Alexandra?" Violet said.

"I'm twenty-seven," Alexa said.

"You don't look a day over twenty-two, my dear!" she said with a laugh that eased some of the uncertainty in Alexa's heart. "You're still young and pretty. Speaking of which, you seem familiar. Have we seen each other before?"

"Oh, well...Q and I went to the same university. I think I might have graduated second to him," Alexa said as she pondered the thought momentarily. She couldn't remember if this was right, but she recalled Q mention it to her previously at one of their lunches.

"Yeah, you're right," Q agreed.

"Hmm. You must be good at what you do, Miss Abbott," Sherlock said from across the table.

"I wouldn't be the judge of that," Alexa said with a light laugh.

"I disagree. She's quite beneficial to the Q-Branch," Q remarked. With this, Violet beamed with pride because she rarely saw Q speak so well of someone, unless they were good friends.

"I'm assuming you keep him in line if he does anything irrational," Violet said.

"Him, irrational? Oh, please. That's like saying that I'm incredibly responsible," Sherlock said with a roll of his eyes.

"He's had his moments. Need I remind you of the Silva incident? What about Kate?" Mycroft retorted.

"Don't bring that up, Mycroft. Not now," Q said sharply. Violet let out a sigh and shook her head.

"Boys, please. Now is not the time for petty arguments," she said firmly. Immediately, the three men shut up and Alexa stared at Violet, looking both awed and somewhat intimidated. If she could make the three Holmes brothers shut up like that, then she was definitely someone to be intimidated of.

"Well, I guess that Sherlock's right. Q never does anything irrational. Theoretically, if he were to do something a bit out of line, then I'd be sure to inform him," Alexa said as she took a sip of her drink.

"That's lovely to hear. Honestly, they're quite hard to handle and it's tough to find anyone who's willing to put up with them," Violet said.

"We're still here, mum," Q said, rolling his eyes.

"I understand that. You were all supposed to hear it anyway," Violet replied. She peered curiously at Alexa for a moment and leaned forward slightly.

"What about you? Do you have siblings to keep in line as well?" she asked. Q had to fight the urge from kicking his mother under the table, knowing that the subject of Alexa's origins were rather hazy and quite touchy. Alexa answered nonetheless, looking quite unaffected while she did so.

"I don't have siblings," she said simply.

"No siblings? That must be quite lonely," Violet said.

"Mum-" Q began. He attempted to keep her from delving any further and creating an awkward situation, but his warning didn't seem to have any effect on her whatsoever.

"Tell me, what were your parents like as you grew up? I've always wondered how parenting style of an only child differs with that of multiple child families," Violet said.

"I don't really have parents. I'm an orphan," Alexa said with a laugh, attempting to embarrass Violet as little as possible.

"Oh! I apologize for prying," Violet said as she turned a faint shade of pink.

"It's perfectly alright," she replied lightheartedly.

"Are you quite done interrogating her, mum?" Q said with a roll of his eyes.

"I wouldn't call it an interrogation. But yes, I am finished," she said, looking pleased.

"Well, would you care to dance, Alexa?" Q said as he stood up.

"Only if you can keep up with me," Alexa said with a smirk.

"Consider your challenge accepted," he said as he led her off towards the ballroom floor. The orchestra (comprised of fifteen talented string players, a woodwind section, and percussion) had already begun their next song, which was the famed  _Invitation To The Dance_  by Carl Maria von Weber. The song started out slow and soft but began to build as they stepped onto the floor.

Q placed his hand at the bottom of her back and Alexa put her hand on his back, near his neck. The position for a waltz was rather intimate and for once, she found that there was no way that she could not look away from his eyes. There was nowhere else to look and it was rather scary, to say the least. She felt her heart pounding loudly in her chest, to the point where she swore she could hear it. Their fingers intertwined and the two began to whirl gracefully across the floor in time to the waltz. Their steps went in time with each other's, not missing a single beat. Their dance was dizzying at some moments and he could not take his gaze away from the smile on her face. She, however, would look at him for a moment before looking over his shoulder, with a pink tint appearing on her cheeks.

As they danced, she locked eyes with a blonde-haired gentleman from across the room. The visual encounter was rather brief but it struck her to the bone with raw and pure fear. He looked like one of the soldiers from Operation Chetiri. She tried to look away from him quickly but alas, it was too late. He had spotted her and merely smiled at her rather unassumingly as they whirled by, like he had been a complete stranger. She tried to calm herself and reassured herself by saying that she had just been seeing things. He wasn't re-

"-re you alright? You look worried," Q said.

"Huh?" Alexa said as she glanced up.

"Are you ok?" Q asked.

"Oh, I'm okay," she lied. However, she could not hide how much the encounter had shaken her; her hands trembled slightly and her steps were not as lively as before. Q merely raised an eyebrow at her strange behaviour and continued on with their waltz.

"By the way, do you usually talk while dancing?" he finally asked.

"Most people prefer to be unsociable and taciturn while dancing but I think otherwise," she said. "That takes the fun out of it, doesn't it?"

"Point taken. By the way, you are an excellent dancer," he said, with a smile on his face. "Have you taken ballet before?"

"Yes, when I was young. How did you know?" she said curiously.

"It's the way you walk. You walk with your feet slightly outward, which is one of the characteristics of a dancer," he pointed out.

"Even I never noticed that! How very observant of you," Alexa exclaimed.

"Well, that's another interest of yours that you haven't mentioned to me," he chuckled.

"You know, you're an exceptional dancer too. There are very few men that can dance like this. How can you dance so well?" she said with a twinkle in her eyes.

"My mother made all of us learn when we were young. To be honest, I don't think any of us wanted to learn. However, she claimed that it trained coordination and was a proper, if not dying art," Q replied.

"Well, I'm impressed, to say the least. At least both of us can dance," Alexa said as she glanced briefly at another man and woman near them who were attempting to waltz but failing to some degree. Despite her panic from earlier, it had quickly faded and she found herself laughing with him once more as they continued to waltz happily across the ballroom.

"Honestly, I half-expected you to have two left feet, in terms of dancing," he said.

"Consider your assumptions wrong, then," she grinned. Q returned her smile and she whirled around once, her skirt flowing gracefully behind her. The song was coming to an end and he dipped her down for their finale. Their noses were barely touching now and by this point, she felt herself blushing crimson.

"Alexa, be completely honest. Are you attracted to me?" Q said abruptly, the words so soft that only she could have heard it.

A feeling of shock struck her and internally, she felt paralyzed and was unsure of how to answer such a question. It was literally asked from out of the blue and she wasn't sure of what to say. Alexa had never been adept with such matters anyway and she could tell that it was seriously meant, so she could not pass this off as a simple joke. She wondered how long it had taken him to gather the courage to ask this and racked her brain for a proper response.

"I...what? Q, what makes you say that?" she said hesitantly as they righted their position, their bodies still quite close to each other's.

"There's that way you look at me sometimes, and that way you don't look at me. For instance, you kept doing it while we were dancing. You and I also tend to spend quite a bit of time together. There are times where I grab your hand and you turn a very distinct shade of pink," he said. They locked eyes for a while and she finally gave up, knowing that her affections had been discovered. Instead of putting her feelings into words, she impulsively decided that this was not what she wanted. Without warning, she pressed her lips against his to kiss him for only a moment.

The kiss was rather quick and everyone else barely noticed it but nonetheless, it was pure and utterly sincere. Alexa pulled away and felt a sensation in her body that could not compare to anything else she had felt before. It left her breathless and rather lightheaded, but it was not an uninvited feeling.

"I hope that explains how I feel about you," Alexa said softly, attempting to sound casual to hide how nervous she was. His face fell and he nodded slowly.

"I see," he said.

"Why, is that a bad thing?" Alexa said, feeling panic rising up in her throat. She had never once admitted feelings for anyone and she was afraid to hear what he would say.

"Alexa, I..." Q said, his voice trailing off. He did like her a fair deal but the problem was that there was still that damnably human doubt that remained and it seemed that he was still afraid to love again. Right now, he could not form an exact definition of what he truly wanted and it troubled him.

"I don't think I..." he said, his voice trailing off. Q fell silent after this, which essentially made her assume one thing.

Her love was unrequited.

"Oh," she said, attempting not to look as though she were pathetically disappointed. She felt her heart sinking in her chest and she pulled away from him.

"Alexa, I will not deny that there have been times where I have felt attracted to you, and..." Q said, his voice trailing off once more. At these words, Alexa let out a soft laugh and merely nodded wistfully.

"Q, it's alright. I understand," she said. Alexa felt shame flooding her body and she turned around and began walking away. She made her way off the floor and avoided people's gazes, her mind set on getting her coat and going home. She felt embarrassed for kissing him like that and knew that it would be best to just leave.

"Alexa, wait! Where are you going?" Q said as he followed after her. She grabbed her coat and put it on as she walked quickly down the hallway. Alexa made her way outside, the frosty winter air blowing through her hair. Snowflakes fell on her lashes and she wrapped her coat around her as she stepped onto the curb of the hotel.

"I think it would be best for me to go," she said as she tried to keep her voice and emotions in control. Alexa had never felt so many emotions at one time and it was really quite a different and scary thing to experience. She didn't think that she would cry but for some reason it felt like that she was ready to burst into tears at any moment. Unrequited love left an unpleasant feeling inside of her and she wanted nothing more than to head home and be alone for a while.

"I...wait, don't go. I'm so-" he began as he grabbed her by the hand. Alexa didn't turn to face him and merely shook her head. She broke free of his grip and made her way into the cab that had arrived.

"Thank you for the lovely evening. I'll see you later," Alexa said as she gave him a smile that lacked warmth and was rather hollow. It was a rather dull statement and she found that it was the only thing she could say. She shut the door behind her and told the man to drive.

Alexa left the hotel and told the driver to take her home. Her body was shaking with an emotion she could not quite place. Was it anger? No. Fury? Definitely not. She felt as if her heart had been torn in half and she felt tears streaming down her cheeks. The fact that he didn't love her back had now sunk in and she had never felt so foolish for admitting her affections, not to mention in a public place. What had gotten into her? It hurt to feel rejected and it was something she decided she would never want to experience again.

Alexa went home and wiped away her tears, locking her front door behind her. She kicked off her heels into the corner and went up to her bedroom to change into her pyjamas. Alexa wanted Q to be out of her thoughts for as long as possible and turned on the television a bit louder than usual in an effort to distract herself. She settled into her bed with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and drank her mug of tea, listening to the television drone on about politics and current affairs. After about an hour of listening to the news, she soon grew tired of everything and she turned off her television, falling into a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * *

Meanwhile, a man stood at the front of the Dorcaster hotel, with his phone pressed against his ear. He was a bit of an older gentleman and was lean and muscular for a man of thirty. His light blonde hair contrasted with his sharp blue eyes and he pushed up the collar to his coat. The dial tone rang for several seconds before a male voice rang out on the line.

"Have you killed Bond?" the voice said.

"No. I decided against it," he replied.

"You aren't authorized to disobey orders!" the man snapped. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Well, I found something even better," he drawled.

"Go on. What is it?" the man said angrily.

"She's here."

The man on the line paused for a moment and held his breath. "Her? As in..."

"Yes. Maxwell's information wasn't wrong after all," he said.

"Are you sure it's her? If you aren't, I swear we wi-" he replied angrily.

"Relax. I recognized her almost immediately. I remember her all too well, so her face isn't one I can easily forget," the blonde haired man said coolly. There was another pause on the line before his companion spoke once more.

"Confirm that it's really her. Then we'll act," he replied. There was a click and all that the man could hear now was the dial tone on the phone. He put his phone back in his pocket and strode down the snowy street with a bit of a spring in his step. The man was almost entirely sure that the woman he had seen tonight was none other than Alexandra Nikolova herself. He smirked at knowing that Alexa was here and almost a decade's worth of following dead leads was coming to a close. The Agency would crush her perfect little world and anyone affiliated with it.

And there wasn't a damn thing that she could do to stop them.

* * *


	11. Chapter 10

_Alas, I emerge from one disaster to fall into another._

_**-Pierre Corneille** _

* * *

_**(December 26, 2012- 8:43 PM)** _

Alexa hopped onto the morning train at Euston Square Station and headed off to work. In truth, she really did not want to go and only came to show that she was alright, even after what happened on that fateful Christmas Eve. She placed a small and carefully wrapped box in her purse and stepped off the train at precisely 8:53 AM.

She walked into the office, giving a somewhat lackluster greeting to people as she passed by. Alexa went into the Q-Branch and quietly shut the door behind her. "Morning," she said, attempting to sound cheerful.

"Good morning," Q said as he turned around to face her. There was a different aura in the air and it became evident to everyone that something had indeed occurred between the two of them.

"Alexa, I've been calling you since yesterday. Where were you?" Joy said.

"I went to Bristol," she lied. "I spent Christmas Day with an old friend of mine."

"I thought that you didn't have old friends," Q said.

"He has a point," George said. Alexa silently swore and sat down, merely shrugging. There was a period of silence before Alexa suddenly remembered the box she had brought and fished it out of her purse.

"This is for you, by the way. I made it for your Christmas present," Alexa said softly as she walked up to Q. He opened the box curiously and pulled out an object that looked like a pen but it was not quite the same. However, Q recognized its shape and looked at it with interest.

"Is this what I think it is?" he asked.

"It's a functional sonic screwdriver, of sorts. It's not quite as glamorous as Doctor Who paints it to be, but it does indeed operate like the real thing, coming equipped with a signal jammer and field diagnostic software, among other things. I thought you would enjoy it," she said.

"You made this?" he said as he inspected the object. Alexa merely nodded and headed towards her desk.

"I hope you enjoy your present," she said, smiling despite how uncomfortable she felt. It truly felt weird to be around him like this but she felt at least some of it fading away, if only for a moment. He glanced back at her and his eyes softened slightly.

"Well, thank you for the gift. I had one for you as well, but it's at my flat. I never got to give it to you that evening because you, er..." Q said, his voice trailing off. He realized that he had accidentally brought up that night and cut himself short, not knowing what to say.

It was as if a switch had flicked back on in Alexa's mind. Her smile had faded, morphing back into her passive expression. Alexa merely nodded and slipped quietly into her regular routine and began working on the papers on her desk. It was admittedly a quiet and awkward start to the day and she chose not to speak for the majority of it.

Alexa also chose to refrain from looking at Q or even in his general direction. She glanced up only once after sitting for several hours at her desk and happened to lock eyes with him. Alexa looked back down somewhat guiltily and kept herself busy. It was no surprise that when it came down to lunch time, she found herself inexplicably nervous. She set down her pencil and stood up, making every effort to slip out of the room as stealthily as possible. Alexa turned around and began to make her way towards the door when she heard Q call her name.

"Alexa," he said. She inwardly cringed and turned around slowly.

"Yes?" she said hesitantly.

"I...look, I apologize for what happened on Tuesday. Can I at least take you out for lunch so we can tal-" he asked.

Alexa's phone rang suddenly, cutting him off and she stared at the phone that was buzzing on the table with a mixture of awe and relief. It had saved her from a potentially awkward hour with Q. "Sorry. I'll just silence that," she said sounding both embarrassed and utterly relieved.

"No, go ahead and take it. It's not a problem," he said as he set his mug back on the table. The one time he actually tried to take her out had been intercepted by a phone call. He honestly couldn't believe his luck sometimes.

"Hello?" Alexa said as she picked up the phone.

"Don't go to lunch with Q," the voice said. It sounded male and somewhat familiar, which greatly troubled her.

"Sorry-" she began.

"You will have a chance to meet me later, Alexa. For now, decline his lunch offer," he said.

"Why?" Alexa said, sounding puzzled.

"You and I have very important matters to discuss. Now, go. Refuse him," he said.

"And if I-" she started.

"If you don't? Would you really rather spend an hour with Q, after what happened?" the man said. Alexa hesitated for a moment and she set her phone down momentarily.

"I'm sorry, Q. I think that lunch offer may have to wait. Something...important came up," she said lamely.

"Oh. Well, that's alright. Your personal affairs should naturally take precedence," he mumbled as he walked back to his desk. Alexa watched him and felt a pang of guilt strike her but she said goodbye and left the room.

"What's going on?" she said as she nestled her phone under the crook of her neck. She slipped her coat on and slung her purse over one shoulder. Alexa showed her pass and made her way out of the MI6 headquarters.

"You'll know soon enough. For now, there is a black car waiting for you at the entrance. Do you see it?" he said. Alexa spotted the vehicle almost immediately and a sharply dressed woman stood outside of the car, holding her Blackberry in one hand.

"Of course. I'm not an idiot," she scoffed.

"I would like you to get in," the man said.

"Well, where the hell am I going? Why should I even listen to you anyway? I have no idea who you are," she snapped. There was a brief chuckle on the other line before he spoke again and Alexa could swear that she saw the woman at the car smirking slightly.

"Alexandra, I am not here to harm you. I would just like to voice my concerns. Now, get in the car," he said. Alexa hesitated slightly and quickly remembered several ways to escape before climbing into the vehicle. The woman went in with her and the two sped off into the streets of London.

Alexa rode silently in the car, glancing only occasionally at the brunette that sat next to her. She more or less ignored Alexa and appeared to be writing an email, her fingers flying quickly over the Blackberry's tiny keyboard.

"Excuse me, who sent you?" Alexa asked. The woman looked up for a moment and back down at her phone.

"You'll see," she said.

"Will you at least tell me where we're going?" Alexa said.

"Nope," the woman responded, putting emphasis on the P. Alexa rolled her eyes and looked back out the window. She was silent as they went through the various stoplights and intersections before asking another question.

"If I'm going to be kidnapped, I might as well know your name. Who are you?" she asked. The woman paused for a moment before responding.

"Call me Anthea," she said. Anthea leaned forward and told the driver to park and the car soon came to a stop. Alexa got out and the woman led her into a small and rather quiet eatery.

The bell rang as they entered the restaurant with plush red chairs and ecru walls. The heavenly scent of baking bread and meat filled the air, making her stomach grumble in response. It was quite deserted for a midday meal, which seemed rather strange. A restaurant was usually filled to the brim around lunchtime with Armani-clad businessmen and tastefully-dressed career women. Anthea's heels clicked softly against the marble floors, covered with black and white harlequin tiles.

"Sir, I've brought Miss Abbott like you have instructed me to. By the way, lunch with DI Lestrade has been moved to Friday," she said, looking slightly bored as she approached the man. Alexa immediately recognized him to be Q's older brother, Mycroft.

"Ah, thank you Anthea. You may head back to the car for now," he said. Mycroft returned his attention to Alexa and held out his hand.

"Lovely to see you again, Alexandra. Please, take a seat," he said. She sat at the empty chair and felt terribly nervous, even just by sitting here.

"Feel free to call me Alexa. Is something wrong?" she asked.

"You could say that," he said as he took a sip of tea.

"Well? What is it?" she said worriedly.

"I saw what you did at the party on Tuesday," Mycroft said. Alexa cheeks flushed bright red and she shook her head.

"That was impulsive and reckless and...above all, very stupid. I hope to never do it again," she said firmly.

"On the contrary, I thought that Q enjoyed it, so maybe it wasn't entirely a bad thing," he pointed out.

"Yes, it was!" Alexa said, her voice coming out a lot sharper than she had intended and she flinched. The words echoed around the generally empty restaurant and she drew back.

"I mean, it doesn't matter. It's not like he feels the same way-" she began.

"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed. "Q loves you. Only an idiot could overlook that. Besides, I believe that it does indeed matter, since you seem to be spending a lot of time with my youngest brother."

"Well, I kind of work with him," Alexa pointed out.

"Not that way. He seems to like you quite a lot and it leaves me quite...hmm, what's the word? Ah yes, concerned," he said as he folded his hands in front of him.

"Why?" Alexa said.

"I know who you are," Mycroft said gravely.

"I'm Alexandra Abbott. There's nothing more to it," she said as she stood up. She began walking away but stopped when he said the two words she hadn't heard in years.

"Don't you mean Agent Chetiri?" he said. Alexa found that she could not move and her hands began to shake. Her knees felt as if they would give out and despite her moment of weakness, she turned around.

"What?" she said.

"Take a seat, Alexa," he said calmly. Alexa stared at him for a moment and she unwillingly took a seat. She wanted nothing more but to run away, but she knew that she had to stay and listen to what this man had to say.

"How do you..." she began.

"I have connections in every country, Alexa. I know what you did," he coolly.

"What are you?" she said warily.

"I'm a politician, of sorts. I work in the shadows to keep this country running smoothly. I'm at a position higher than that of the Prime Minister, one I constructed myself," Mycroft said.

"So...how did you find out?" Alexa said.

"Well, Sherlock told me what he had deduced when he met you a little while ago. Naturally, I became curious looked into your files," he said.

"What about Sherlock? Has he delved into my past?" she said.

"I think he may have, a little bit. Either way, he's currently occupied with a case so he doesn't particularly care at the moment," he said.

"Anyway, I noticed how well your past was constructed. Generally, it would have been fine but it seemed that everything led to a dead end and that made me wary of you. I was able to tap into the MI6's CCTV feed and I matched your facial structure with different files collected from around the globe. It took a week but after a bit of work, I traced it back to Alexandra Nikolova in Russia," Mycroft remarked.

"How did you find out about Operation Chetiri?" she said.

"It isn't entirely too difficult to get into Russia's government database. Or rather, it wasn't difficult for Q and I to get in," he said casually as he accepted a sandwich from the vest-clad waiter who came by and offered them lunch.

"What?! Does he know?" Alexa exclaimed.

"Of course not. I got past their firewall and I first found your name through your birth certificate. Furthermore, I connected you to Natalia Nikolova and Dmitri Nikolov, and their files were easy to access. The files for Operation Chetiri were harder to access, so I had Q get in."

"But he doesn't know, right?" she said.

"Your lovely little boyfriend doesn't know a thing. I more or less kicked him out of my house after he got through. Besides, I usually call him in regularly for matters with such a delicate nature like these, so he didn't expect too much of it," Mycroft said.

"He's no-" she protested.

"Of course. But he might as well be. It's rather sad, really, that he hasn't acted on it yet," he said with a smirk. Alexa rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.

"But wait, most of it is probably in Russian," she said.

"True. However, the three of us can speak several languages," he replied.

"Why does this not surprise me?" she muttered.

"Well, it's a crucial skill, if you want to compete with the world today," Mycroft explained as he took a sip of his tea. "Russian is one of the few languages that all three of us can speak, aside from English, French, and our laughable attempts at German, of course."

Alexa fell silent and stared at the sandwich on her plate, in order to think of something to say. She took a bite of the sandwich and forced herself to eat a bit. After a few bites, she realized that she would unable to eat with the level of stress she was feeling at the moment. It left her sick to her stomach and the strong scent of Mycroft's tea really wasn't helping.

"What exactly did you find?" she said cautiously as she set her hand down on the table.

"On the surface, you disappeared along with your parents in 1989. Their bodies were never found and neither was yours. The case was closed but upon further inspection, I found your name in a report for a program called Operation Chetiri," he said.

"I didn't think files even existed for something as terrible and top secret as that. How did you get ahold of them?" Alexa said.

"You wouldn't believe the lengths I had to go to in order to get that information. The files on Operation Chetiri were at a very deep level of security and after a few hours, I finally gave up and called Q in again to get the files. I told him it was for a job of mine and he was able to get past their firewalls at that level. Honestly, all of it was terribly annoying," he sighed. Alexa studied him for a moment and set her hands down on the table.

"Alright, so you are aware of what I was. However, I can promise you that I won't hurt him at all. That's the last thing I want," she said.

"I understand that. The trouble here is that you won't hurt him physically, but there is a high chance that you will do it inadvertently," Mycroft said.

"How?"

Mycroft fell silent for a moment, with eyes that had a gleam of worry before his gaze drifted back towards hers. "When I became interested in you and your past, it soon became evident that I wasn't the only interested party on your trail," Mycroft said.

Alexa's eyes immediately darkened with concern and it did not help to the dreadful feeling in her stomach. "Who else is looking for me?" she said, her voice in a near whisper.

"There has been a man following you since this morning. Do you recognize him?" he said as he pulled out some photographs from his pocket. Alexa squinted at the folded paper and felt her heart stop a little when she saw it.

The man she saw on Christmas Eve had not been a mistake after all.

"That's Sergei Volkov, from the..." she said, her voice trailing off.

"Ah, so you do remember. The Agency, or whatever they call themselves have apparently been looking for you for the last nine years," he said.

"How do they know I'm alive?" she said, looking puzzled. Alexa had tried her best to be careful and it felt terribly unfair for life to spring this on her right now.

"I'm assuming they found out from the information given to them in the Maxwell affair. They have obviously come here for you and that's what really concerns me," Mycroft said.

"But why do you even care? You barely know me," she asked.

"Q and I may not exactly see eye to eye, but it doesn't change the fact that I am his eldest brother and no matter what he says or thinks, I do care about him. Frankly, I worry about that boy constantly and I am concerned for his safety. It is to my understanding that in the event that the Agency does attack you, his life could be in danger as well, which is why this matter is not to be taken lightly," Mycroft said.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Alexa said, sounding bewildered. For the first time in a long time, she felt genuine fear and she was unsure of how to proceed.

"Well, do you know how you want to handle this situation? There's only one solution and I'm sure that both of us can see that," Mycroft said.

"I don't know! I care about him probably more than I should and I would like nothing more than to keep him safe, but..." she began, her voice trailing off.

"You know what you have to do, Alexa," Mycroft said.

"Do I?" she said aloud. Her train of thought was cut short when he put a large envelope on the table and passed it to her.

"What's this?" she said as she tried to open it.

"I have a very specific plan to make you vanish, which involves assuming several new identities. You must leave London if you want to ensure his safety," Mycroft said.

"What exactly does this plan entail?" Alexa said.

"I'm still tweaking the logistics, but this envelope will more or less be your life for the next six months. It contains several paper documents such as birth certificates, a plane ticket, housing arrangements, and so on. I still need to photograph you so I can put that picture on your passports and licenses. If you agree, I will make you disappear for the benefit of us all. By disappear, I mean to say that we will eliminate this current identity," he said.

"So you're going to kill me?" she said.

"Not exactly. We're going to fake your death," Mycroft said with a smile.

"What happens if I do disappear?" Alexa said.

"The Agency will recognize that you are dead and leave my brother alone. There will be a lower chance that they would hurt him, if they know you're dead. I will keep an eye on him to make sure," he replied.

"That means you'll send bodyguards to follow him, correct?" Alexa said.

"Certainly," Mycroft said.

"And if I don't leave London, what happens then?" she said hesitantly.

"The Agency will find you and strike, obviously," he scoffed. "That endangers Q's life and neither of us want that."

Mycroft leaned forward and looked at her directly, his sharp gaze cutting into hers. "Do you accept my proposition?"

"I..." she began. Alexa's hands were shaking and she stared at the envelope. Her thoughts were muddled and she could not accept his offer right now. She knew she had to keep him safe, but she didn't want to leave. Alexa truly did love him and she wanted to stay. She felt torn with doing the right thing and doing what she wanted.

"I...need time to think about this," she finally said, sighing as she ran a hand through her hair.

"I understand that this is a difficult decision, but I need an answer as soon as possible," Mycroft said.

"I'll provide an answer soon, I promise," Alexa said. She could feel a constricting feeling in her chest that threatened to burst out of her ribcage and Alexa felt the room growing smaller and smaller. There was no way she could be in here any longer. She needed to get out of here as soon as possible. Alexa stood up and took the envelope, shaking hands with him.

"Thank you for all of this," she said, sounding weary.

"It's fine. I really would like nothing more than to see this problem sorted out," he said. "He seems to be quite fond of you, which is why I care so much."

Mycroft studied her for a moment before continuing. "You also seem to care for him quite a great deal," he said.

"I...yeah, I do. I won't even deny it. The last thing I want him is for him to get involved," she said.

"He won't, if you choose. This is all on your decision," Mycroft said. Alexa merely nodded and stared down at her feet. Mycroft led her outside and escorted her to the waiting car. Alexa said goodbye once more before heading back to the headquarters with Anthea, who still seemed to be typing furiously on her phone.

Alexa went back into the building and clutched the envelope tightly to her chest, afraid that someone would see the secrets that were hidden away inside. She went back to the Q-Branch and walked back to her desk, the sound of her heels hitting the concrete ringing in her ears. Q was arguing with someone on the phone and she sat back down at her desk, determined to work. It was a last ditch attempt to keep her mind off her current issue. It was an easy, quick distraction, but it lost its splendour an hour later as her mind drifted back to the situation presented by her assailant and by Mycroft with his offer.

It was near the end of the day when she finally decided to stop working. As always, everyone had left except for her and Q. To be honest, she had not even heard that they had all left. All she had heard for the past few hours was the noise emitted by her jumbled thoughts. It was a constant and random mix of different emotions and ideas that seemed to scream violently at her, leaving her with a splitting headache. By the time she had set her pencil down, her brain was crying out from exhaustion and her mouth felt dry. She felt ready to crack at any moment now, her mind filled with thoughts of the Agency and Q's safety. Alexa let out a sigh and set down a shaking hand on the table, unintentionally knocking a book onto the floor.

The sound of the book hitting the floor scared her so badly that she let out a startled cry. Q heard her shriek and turned to glance at her. When he did so, he immediately sensed that something was really off. "Alexa, are you alright?" he asked as he glanced at her rather questionable behaviour.

"Oh, I'm fine," Alexa said quickly as she gathered the book from the floor, attempting to calm down. She let out a sigh and set it on the table.

"Are you sure?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"That just startled me. Don't worry about it," she said casually, which seemed out of place, given her current state. His eyes narrowed and he walked over to her desk. Something had happened over lunch and he was determined to find out.

"Alright, then. Did you fix the issues with the Rn130 system we were developing?" he asked. Q noted that as he asked her this, her mind seemed to go blank and she had a lost and rather helpless look in her eyes.

"Alexa?" he said after a few moments of silence. She seemed to snap back to life and let out another sigh.

"Sorry, I can't really get my thoughts in order today. Can you repeat that?" Alexa said as she ran a hand through her hair.

"Did you fix the problems with the Rn130?" Q asked.

"I did. They should have no further issues with the input values," she replied. Q merely nodded and without warning, picked up her hand.

"You're shaking," he said, his voice surprisingly gentle. "Did something happen?"

Alexa outwardly flinched at his touch and immediately drew her hand back. "Uh...n-no. I'm just a bit high strung, that's all. Probably had too much coffee," she said, letting out a pathetically forged laugh.

"Alexa," he said with a roll of his eyes. "This isn't how you normally are."

"Is it? I'm fine, I promise," she insisted. His eyes narrowed and he wondered if he could make her crack, just by looking at her. Q figured that he could at least try; it wasn't like he could lose anything from testing it.

There was always a first time for everything, wasn't there?

"Alexandra Abbott, who was that person on the phone earlier?" Q said firmly, staring directly at her. His blue-green eyes locked with her grey eyes and his undivided attention made her nervous. He had never looked at her with such concentration and it was truly intimidating, even for a woman of her background. Alexa could feel herself crumbling under his unrelenting gaze and she said the first thing that popped into her mind.

"What man?" she blurted out, without thinking carefully about her words. The smirk on his face made her realize that she wasn't supposed to say that.

"Oh, damn. I wasn't supposed to say that," Alexa groaned.

"Huh. I didn't think it would work, but it did," he said, looking fairly pleased with himself. "So, will you tell me who the man on the phone was?"

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"Alexa, whatever he told you had been causing you to act like this. Who was he?" Q asked

"Nobody," she said crisply.

"Look, I just want to know. It worries me, seeing you like this," he said.

"It's fine," she replied as she stood up. Alexa had a feeling that this conversation could only get worse and she was nearing her breaking point. She had to get away from him as soon as possible, or else they would say things to each other that could be good or bad.

"It is most certainly not fine. What did he say?" Q insisted.

"He didn't say anything. Anyway, it doesn't matter," Alexa said, her voice wavering slightly. She did not look at him, for fear of showing what she truly felt.

"Well, you matter to me, so I consider this to be important," he interjected.

By then, she could not bear to see him continue any longer and whirled around, looking like she had just been slapped in the face. Her eyes held a heart-wrenching look of hurt and they began to fill with tears. She could feel anger, along with a myriad of emotions rising in her chest, to the point where her heart was ready to spill over with such fervor. Alexa had never cried (or come close to crying) around anyone and she hated showing such a pathetic display of weakness.

"Q, please don't do that," she said, attempting to keep her her voice in control for their sake.

"Do what? Alexa-" he said, alarmed by the abundance of pain in her eyes. Although he had known her for a little while, he had never seen her show so much emotion externally. It seemed that she was intentionally keeping such feelings such as pain and sadness out of view from anyone else, like it was an ambiguous and unstable side of her heart that she wouldn't allow anyone to access. Alexa was obviously stressed over something and he had a hunch that if he said the correct things, then maybe she could tell him why she was upset and possibly reconcile their earlier situation at the party.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to pretend to care about me after what happened," Alexa said as she shook her head, with a hint of anger in her voice.

"But Alexa, I'm not pretending to care. Not at all," Q replied, putting his hand on hers. Oddly enough, he was not afraid to touch her (though she was seemingly angry at him) and he rested his hand on top of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Her anger soon began to fade upon realizing that his actions were sincere and she felt guilty for lashing out at him. She out a shaky sigh and became unnervingly quiet. Alexa did not speak for several moments and she soon realized how weary she felt. She wanted to end this conversation right here and now, not wanting to face all of this in one go. She'd had enough for one day. Alexa needed time to think about what was going to happen to her, to Q, and to everyone else that she cared dearly for.

"I'm sorry, Q. I can't really think clearly right now and I don't want to say anything I don't mean," she admitted, running a hand through her hair. "Can we just...talk about this later?"

His expression fell, but he merely nodded in response. "Well, okay. Just...know that I'm not pretending to care. I do worry about you, especially in moments such as these. I may not exactly understand what's happening, but it doesn't mean I don't care," he said softly.

"Thank you," she murmured quietly. She nodded and left the room, soon exiting the headquarters. Q's words echoed in her brain and it was here that she realized how patient he was being with her. He was too good for her and she was fully aware of it.

That what made her want to protect him even more.


	12. Chapter 11

_So it's true, when all is said and done, grief is the sole price we pay for love._

_**—** _ _**E.A. Bucchianeri** _

* * *

_**(December 27, 2013- 9:30 AM)** _

Alexa was not there that morning.

She was uncharacteristically late and Q was really beginning to worry for her well being. The day before, she had been rather disconnected, like her mind was jumping from place to place and she was constantly thinking about something. It had gotten to the point where everyone else had noticed her demeanor and it affected her work greatly. There was something different in her eyes now and she looked troubled when she thought that nobody was looking at her. Her emotionally strong façade was wearing thin and she was more vulnerable than ever before.

Q remained at his desk and decidedly gave her another hour to arrive. Maybe something had come up, like it had a few days ago. However, her seat remained empty for a full hour that soon turned into four, before finally turning into a full fledged six hours of absence.

Q had stared at it throughout the day, feeling a pang of guilt and a little bit of frustration. What had he done wrong? He was trying to make something work, at least, but it seemed that she was now unwilling to try. What had made her change her mind? Had he merely disheartened her or had he inadvertently crushed her hopes, along with all chances of being with her?

He finished his paperwork before heading to the break room to grab a cup of tea. Q went in and spotted Joy, who was talking quietly with Eve. They did not glance at him as he walked in, apparently not noticing that he was even there.

"-'m telling you, there's something wrong with Alexa. She seemed so...out of it yesterday," Joy said.

"I saw her. She wasn't acting like her usual self. What do you think happened to her?" Eve replied.

"It might have something to do with what happened at the party the other night," she muttered.

"Oh! You're right. I saw that. It was rather sweet of her, wasn't it?" Eve said.

"Maybe Q doesn't like her back. I would presume that Alexa doesn't take rejection well, given how shy she is," Joy said.

"That's also true. Q does have a tendency to over think his emotions," Eve remarked. Q merely rolled his eyes and stirred the tea in his mug.

"Ladies, you do realize that I'm standing right here, don't you?" he said casually as he leaned against the counter. Both women looked up at him with startled eyes and Eve glared at Q.

"Q! What have you done to Alexa this time?" she said as she poked a finger at his chest.

"You basically said it earlier," he said.

"Well, tell us what really happened," Eve said, folding her arms across her chest.

"It's a long story, actually. However, to put it in simpler terms, she and I kissed at that party and I was going to tell her that I didn't know how I felt about her, but she cut me off," Q said as he took a sip of his drink.

"Oh, Q! You were actually going to say that?" Joy groaned.

"I now realize that it wasn't the right thing to say," he pointed out.

"So that's why she's been so out of it lately," Eve grumbled.

"Actually, the kiss was only half of the equation. Something happened yesterday that made her very upset and rather scatterbrained and she refuses to tell me what it is, much less speak to me," Q said.

"For god's sake, just fix things with her already! It's so weird seeing her like this and quite honestly, none of us like it. Alexa shouldn't be distant like that," Joy said, shaking her head.

"I know that. I'm heading off to talk to her after work," he said as he rinsed out the empty mug.

"Good, then! She needs that apology," Eve muttered as Q left the room. She watched him go and let out a long sigh.

"He's so careful with the women he chooses to fall in love with," she said.

"If not, too careful," Joy remarked. There was a momentary pause between the two woman before one of them spoke.

"Do you think he'll realize that he does loves her?" Eve said.

"Maybe. We'll just have to wait and see."

* * *

Q went to Alexa's home after work that day and strode up the steps leading to her little townhouse. He rang the bell but after a few minutes, it became evident that she was either ignoring him or simply not here. Q tried again and simply waited, checking his watch after about five minutes, all to no avail. He looked around the doorway before lifting the mat. He half expected a key to be lying under there and was surprised to actually find one. It was such a mundane spot to hide the key and he found himself rolling his eyes at the thought. Q put the key in the lock and turned the doorknob.

"Alexa? Are you here?" he called as he entered her house. Q walked into the kitchen on the right, his shoes clicking softly against the hardwood floors. He eventually found her sitting in the living room, with a blanket around her shoulders. She was staring at the wall, looking rather vacant. The sound of his footsteps snapped her out of her reverie and she looked up at him.

"Q? How did you get in?" she asked, looking bewildered. Alexa had honestly lost her sense of time and hadn't even noticed the bell ringing. She had been too busy thinking about Mycroft's offer.

"Next time, think of a better place to hide your key," he said as he took a seat next to her. "Where have you been?"

"Here," Alexa mumbled as she wrapped the blanket tightly around her.

"What's wrong?" Q asked. This wasn't the usual Alexa and it was quite alarming to him. It looked like she had a difficult time answering this question and she finally threw her hands up in the air.

"Everything!" she cried. Within the blink of an eye, she was up and moving with such vigor that was honestly quite startling. Alexa discarded her blanket and proceeded to pace around her living room.

"That's not specific. What exactly is bothering you?" he said as he stood up to follow her.

"I don't know what to tell you, and that's the issue here!" Alexa said, looking completely frustrated.

"Is it really that serious?" Q asked.

"Yes, it is!" she said as she moved into the kitchen. Alexa rushed about, fiddling with various things before finally picking up a pen.

"What am I even doing with this?" she said, sounding bewildered as she prepared to throw the object behind her.

"Was it my fault?" Q blurted out. This caused her to stop and she gripped the pen in her hand tightly. Alexa felt him place his hand against hers and he pushed down lightly to set the pen back on the table.

"I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this was my fault, after what I said to you that night," he said, his tone softer than before. Her heart soon began to calm down and she shook her head.

"It's not your fault, Q. Please don't think of it like that," she said. Alexa ran a hand through her hair and turned around to look at him.

"Look, why are you here?" Alexa asked.

"I came to see you," he said. "You didn't come to work today and I wanted to talk to you."

"Go ahead. I'm listening," she replied as she took a seat at the table.

"You seemed really out of it yesterday. What happened exactly?" Q asked as he sat with her, taking his coat off. It took her a few moments to answer but she finally found something to say.

"Well, I was tired and stressed so I kind of just...lost it, in a sense," Alexa admitted.

"Are you sure it wasn't my fault?" he asked.

"Of course not. It was just...something else," she replied with a casual shrug of her shoulders.

"Don't be vague. I want to know what happened," he said, folding his arms across his chest. "Who was that man on the phone?"

"I...no. I can't tell you," she said softly.

"Alexa, come on. If it's bothering you this much, then I'm sure it's important," Q said.

"It's fine. Q, you don't have to worry about it. It's a...personal thing," Alexa said softly. They looked at each other for a few moments before Q conceded defeat.

"Alright. I suppose I can trust you on that," he said. However, he found that he could not exactly believe his own words but disregarded his disagreements momentarily for another issue.

"Also, I wanted to talk about what I said to you at the party," he said.

"What's there to talk about?" Alexa said. She appeared cool and collected on the outside but on the inside, her heart began to pound wildly, fueled by her fear of rejection and that small spark of remaining hope, which coursed through her veins. Alexa then tried to crush those hopes upon remembering what she would most likely be forced to do. She honestly did love him, but she knew she would have to go away soon. Alexa didn't want him to hurt over her when she left.

And she didn't want to hurt over him.

"I'm sorry for what I said. It wasn't fair for me to hurt you like that, especially there," Q said.

"Q, it's okay. I really shouldn't have done that anyway," Alexa said half-heartedly.

"So you...regret doing it then?" he asked. She went silent for a while before finally nodding.

"I probably shouldn't have done it because it would just...make things strange between us. However, I did it anyway so therefore, I am at fault," she said softly.

"Alexa, it's okay," Q said carefully, his expression carefully calculated so as not to give too much away. He had been considering everything from their kiss to their daily interactions for the past few days and he had decided that it wasn't bad at all.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try again.

There was something about her that made her different from anyone else he had met and she was truly one of the loveliest women he had known. To add to that, Alexa unleashed a feeling in him that he had felt only once and by the way he looked at her, he knew that he felt something more for this woman. It was the same sensation he had felt with his first girlfriend, but to a different degree. This emotion could not exactly be classified as love yet, but it could not be left as being good friends either.

Life truly worked in strange ways, given that he had known her for a mere three months but he knew that his emotions were not merely figments of his imagination. They were, in fact, real. Q also knew that if he were to try and start a relationship with her then with time, he might truly fall in love with her.

"Really?" she said, looking somewhat stunned. Alexa didn't know how to respond and she was more or less treading in unknown waters, which terrified her. Q could feel his pulse quickening as he tried to convey his emotions like a proper human being.

"It wasn't a bad thing, per se," Q replied.

"No, it was!" Alexa said quickly. She struggled to speak and stared down nervously at her fingers.

"I apologize for even doing such a thing and I think..." she said, her voice trailing off.

"What?" Q asked. It took a while for her to find the right words to say. She honestly didn't know what she wanted to say or do. Life had presented two paths before her now and that truly scared her.

From the beginning, Alexa had always been told to follow one path and one path alone. She rarely strayed from it and she had always known exactly what she wanted, which led to her resistance to Operation Chetiri. Nonetheless, Alexa would have to choose one path and it was to her dismay and heartbreak that neither of these paths would be easy for her or anyone else she cared about.

On one path, her mind was telling her to forget all about her dalliances with Q, which would result in being alone again. However, her heart was saying otherwise. It preyed on that innate desire for companionship that was unbeknownst to her. If she were to proceed down that path, it would put an end to those lonely nights and for once, she would truly be happy. Alexa knew she loved him and that there would be nothing that could keep her from doing so. However, she had to keep him safe from all of her sins and all of the evils she had encountered in her life.

Would she choose between her duty or her desire?

Her heart raged in an all out war between what she wanted and what was best for both parties. After several moments, her mind triumphed and she decided that if she did follow Mycroft's plan, then there was a higher chance that the Agency would leave him alone. She opened her mouth to speak, with a weight of lead on her heart.

"I'm sorry. It was a ridiculous mistake on my part and I think we should just forget it happened, before we dwell on it any longer," she said, the words feeling heavy in her mouth. Alexa knew it was the best choice, given that it was to ensure his safety from the Agency, but somehow, it didn't seem like it was. It didn't satisfy that longing in her heart and she was sure that it wouldn't make her any happier.

The look on Q's face was enough to make her hesitate and mentally reconsider her decision. Alexa suddenly remembered that this was a choice made for his protection and that she had to stand by it, no matter what. She couldn't fall in love with him, knowing that if they did start a relationship now, at such an inopportune moment, the Agency would go after him too.

Q's expression soon went from looking hurt and heartbroken to something entirely new and unexpected. There was a look of anger in his eyes and a slight frown on his face. "I thought you felt differently what, four days ago?" he snapped.

"I made a mistake. I didn't mean to..." Alexa said, her voice trailing off rather pathetically.

"You didn't make a mistake. I did. I shouldn't have come here in the first place," he muttered as he stood up. Q turned his back to her and slipped his coat on.

"Q, pleas-" Alexa began, feeling panic rise up in her chest. She impulsively tried to stop him by putting her hand on his arm, but he brushed it off rather roughly.

"I'll be going now. I expect to see you at work tomorrow," he said as he went towards the door, his tone as cold as ice. She found that no words could escape her mouth and she watched him go, hearing the door slam shut behind him. Alexa felt her legs buckle from underneath her and she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks. She had believed that the decision was made out of necessity, but it did not ease that unbearable ache in her chest. This was the price she had paid for love, and the only thing it left her was a sense of grief and a doubt-filled heart.

Had she really done the right thing?


	13. Chapter 12

_The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly._

_**-F. Scott Fitzgerald** _

* * *

_**(The next day...)** _

Alexa trudged down the steps of the MI6 headquarters and scanned her pass without so much as a passing glance at the security guards. She was incredibly weary and the last night had been spent in tears, mixed with two glasses of wine that probably weren't a good idea after all. All of this had occurred and she still had not come to a decision. Alexa failed to say hello to anyone and she walked down to the elevators. As she stood alone in the small metal car, she caught a sight of her appearance in the metal's mirror-like sheen.

Her skin was pale and sallow and her eyes were weary. She had put on some minimal makeup to hide the little amount of sleep she had gotten and her clothes consisted of her white button up shirt and a pair of slacks. Her hair was neatly combed in loose waves, but with her facial expression, it was only fair to say that she looked miserable.

She walked quietly into the Q-Branch and sat down, without a word. The room was abuzz with activity and she gladly sat silently at her desk, working on her paperwork. No one had said anything about her arrival until about an hour later, when Joy finally turned around.

"Alexa! When did you get here?" she said, looking surprised.

"An hour ago," Alexa mumbled as her fingers moved swiftly across the keyboard. She jotted down something quickly and attempted to keep busy, in order to avoid any awkward conversation. Alexa could almost feel the eyes of her friends on her, except for one. Q was decidedly ignoring her and the fact that he was angry with her made her greatly uncomfortable. Despite this aura, all was relatively normal in the room. However, they were all blissfully unaware of the hell that would soon occur.

* * *

A certain blonde haired man sat in his glass holding cell, his hands handcuffed to the front. He had been sitting here for a few hours now and they had not heard a word from him ever since. He had attacked a guard on his way in for seemingly no reason, which was essentially his ticket into the building. Afterwards, he would execute his plan and capture his ever so elusive prey. The man could tell that he was being carefully scrutinized, in order for them to figure out his identity. No matter. It wasn't like they would find one. He glanced around and smirked, before staring directly at the door.

"I have a message," he said loudly. The guards standing in front of his tube turned around and attempted to appear confused, to conceal the fact that these were actually his men that had infiltrated the base an hour ago. He heard the door beeping before a gray haired gentleman walked in, his eyes staring sternly into his.

"And to whom is it addressed?" he said.

"I believe she goes by Alexandra Abbott now," he said, sounding almost gleeful. M's brow furrowed before his face morphed back into its usual coldness. What could this man want with Alexa? He stepped away from the man and headed briskly to the Q-Branch. When he entered, the entire room fell dead silent. The simple, unspoken truth of the MI6 was that it was never good when M walked into a room.

Q turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. "Did you need something, M? Trouble with a piece of equipment or something?" he said.

"Well, it isn't actually technology related," M said carefully.

"What is it, then?" Q said, looking confused.

"I need Miss Abbott," he said. Alexa, who had been working on her paperwork, looked up in surprise.

"Huh? Did I do something wrong?" she said, looking confused.

"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure," he said. "Q, you should come as well."

There was a mutual look of confusion on both of their faces but they silently followed M out the door. "Sorry, sir, but what's this all about?" Alexa said as she fell in time with his quick footsteps.

"We captured a man this morning for attacking one of our guards at the front entrance and he hasn't spoken since. He finally said something a few minutes ago and personally requested to speak to you, Alexandra," M said.

"Who is this man?" Q said as the walked down the winding hallways and into an elevator. That sickening feeling of fear had settled in her stomach and as much as she attempted to calm down, she still feared for the worst.

"We have been unable to identify him. He doesn't appear on any national servers anywhere," M said. They waited several moments before the steel doors opened. They walked out of the elevator and into the room where the man was contained.

They found James, along with several security guards who were monitoring the man in the room on the outside. M approached him and stared at their captive prisoner. "Has he said anything in our absence, Bond?" he said.

"No. He's been absolutely silent. We haven't found any records yet on his identity either," he said, shaking his head.

"Strange," M muttered.

"Why would he ask for you specifically, Alexa?" James said, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. She did not say anything, for her heart was frozen with fear. This was the same man that Mycroft said had been following her. The Agency had taken action and this was what she had been afraid of. Naturally, that same fear reflected onto her face and it was startling to see that she recognized a man who was unknown to anyone else in the room.

"Oh shit," Alexa muttered. Her mind was working a million miles a minute, yet her thoughts felt jumbled. She knew that her world was crumbling to pieces under her feet and there was nothing she could do now to prevent her downfall. Alexa stood there in complete silence, attempting to think of something to do to avoid this situation and she felt her heart sinking in her chest. The time had come to face the music and she was anything but prepared.

"You know who he is?" Q said.

"Unfortunately, I do," she said absently, her mind a world away. She took only a single breath to clear her thoughts and her expression quickly began to change. There was a new look in her eyes that no one had ever seen on her before but knew all too well. It was the same sharp and frigid look agents had in their eyes whenever they marched off into battle. Alexa clenched her fists before wordlessly heading into the room, where he stood in front of the glass containment tube. She stared at the man and his eyes lit up with amusement when he saw her. Alexa held her breath and for a moment, she was frozen before she was flooded with intense loathing.

She hated every bit of him.

"Ah, there she is, Miss Chetiri in the flesh," he said, his lips upturning in a smirk.

"Sorry, what are you...?" she said, attempting to pretend that she had no idea what was happening. The man let out a roar of laughter at such an attempt and he shook his head.

"Don't pretend like you don't know what's happening. You know who I am, Alexie," he said in a sing-song voice. Her expression changed drastically at the sound of her ever-despised nickname and she shook her head.

"I would rather that you refrain from calling me that," she said through tight lips.

"Fine, then. But neither of us can deny the fact that you're wondering why I'm here," he said. Her eyes narrowed and she folded her arms across her chest.

"Почему ты здесь*?" she said coolly. He let out a chuckle at her words and shook his head.

"Oh no, my dear. It won't work like that," he smiled. "I want everyone to know what you did."

"It was worth a shot," she said, a mirthless smirk on her lips.

"I'm afraid I didn't hear you," he said mockingly. "Might I trouble you to ask again?"

Her demeanour was back, and she looked up at his eyes.A different side of her was unfolding and everyone could sense that the hostility in the air increasing rapidly.

"What do you want with me?" Alexa said, attempting to be controlled. This was, of course, the exact opposite and she fought the unbearable urge to crush this man right before their watching eyes. She had to kill him soon, eliminate the danger before anything worse happened.

"Do you remember me now? Or do you not recall me at all? That's terribly rude of you," he said with a mocking sigh.

"Do you honestly expect me to forget you, after everything you did to me? You must be a fool to think that, Sergei. I don't reckon I'll forget the actions of Sergei Volkov and the Agency anytime soon," she said coldly.

"There's my girl. Welcome back," he said with a disconcerting laugh. The words unsettled her and sparked more outrage in her heart.

"Don't. Call. Me. That," she said through gritted teeth.

"Fine, love. No need to get so angry about it," he said mockingly, shooting her a lazy grin. Alexa merely rolled her eyes and approached him.

"It's curious that they would send you all the way down here to fetch me," she said, her arms folded across her chest.

"We've been hunting you for the past nine years. Of course they would send their best. I'm surprised that you even remember me by name, by the way. It's sweet, really," he said with a smirk.

"Don't flatter yourself. It's not like I want to remember you," she said, with a roll of her eyes. "To be honest, I don't want to remember that part of my life at all."

At these words, Sergei merely let out a sigh and shook his head. "That's the trouble with you. You were always resisting us in that quiet little way of yours, clinging onto the ridiculous notion that you were not what you were raised to be," he said.

"But, you don't see it. You've been blinded by lies you received from everyone else. You can't face the fact that this is what you are, and you can never change it," he continued with a condescending sigh. The words sparked anger in her heart that rushed through her veins like a wildfire.

"I'm not one of you!" Alexa shouted. She suddenly remembered that she was being watched and Sergei's smirk confirmed that thought. She took a deep breath and glared at the man. Alexa set her hands behind her, attempting to hide that they were shaking with fury.

"What did the Agency send you here to do?" she said, her voice sounding controlled and devoid of all emotion.

"Look at that. You're quickly reverting to your old self again, Miss Chetiri," he said with a short laugh.

"I would like you to refrain from addressing me as such," she said through gritted teeth. "I never earned that title, and I'm glad I never did."

"Ah, that's where you're wrong. You ended up being our best, Alexa. We saw Peter die in Kiev nine years ago and what do you know? You're still here, alive and well. You won, so you should come back," he said.

"I don't care," she said defiantly. "I have a life here now and you cannot take that from me."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that," Sergei chuckled. The hostility seemed to increase tenfold and she looked intently at him.

"What are you planning?" Alexa said, her voice dangerously soft.

"Hmm? Now, why on earth would I tell you?" he said tauntingly.

"I am not a patient woman, Volkov. Tell me, how did you find me here in London?" Alexa demanded.

"You could say that it was merely chance that brought me here. I was originally after James Bond," Sergei replied.

"Why?"

"Bond was sent on a mission in Germany about a month ago to break up a crime syndicate that specialized particularly in arms dealing and extortion. While he was there, he killed the leader. His name was Grigori Vasiliev and he was one of our most important liaisons," he said.

"I was going to kill Bond that night, but I ran into you instead. I've been keeping an eye on you for the past few days now and I found you here at the MI6 building. Remind me again why you decided to betray your own country," Sergei said coolly.

"I accepted this job because it would help keep me away from the likes of you," Alexa said simply. Sergei studied her carefully and shook his head, chuckling lightly.

"How quaint. You accepted this because you thought it could blot out all the evils you had caused before," he chuckled. "How has that worked out for you?"

"It was great, until you came along," she grumbled.

"Poor little Alexandra, living in perpetual denial," he said with a shake of his head.

"The Agency," she repeated, ignoring his quip. "What exactly do they want?"

"We want you," he replied.

"What purpose would I serve you?" she said. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm no longer of any use to you."

"You were our best, with small flaws, like that annoyingly stubborn nature of yours. However, you were our most successful subject since you survived. We want to know what secrets lie in that pretty little head of yours," he said as he tapped the glass twice. "We want to see what makes you tick and how we can make more like you."

"I would never let you get in my head," she said, looking horrified.

"You won't have to. We'll get it out of you one way or another," he smirked.

"You are a monster. This needs to stop," Alexa said firmly.

"Why would we stop? The success you brought us only fuels us to proceed with Operation Chetiri. One could say that this is all your fault," he said, giving her a grin.

"No!" she snapped, looking horrified. She was shaking now and Sergei knew that he had scared her badly by his accusation.

"You can't keep doing this. There are limits, Sergei, and the Agency has definitely crossed them," she continued, with a shake of her head.

"What's so wrong about it?" Sergei said, giving her an unsettling grin. She stared at him incredulously and her stare turned into a cold glare.

"You take everything that someone has and you tear it into nothing. That's what's so wrong about it!" Alexa said angrily. "I am not like you!"

"Au contraire, my dear. Your adroitness in fighting speaks for itself. How about all the acts you committed? Surely those are enough to prove you were one of us. We created that future and this is all you have, Alexa," Sergei said, giving her a wide toothed grin. He wanted to rattle her and break her, showing what she was before for all to see.

His tactic was evidently working and she felt a rush of heat rise to her cheeks. "I don't want your future!" Alexa shouted, her normally quieter voice echoing across the walls. Its volume rose with her anger and no one had ever seen her passionate, raw fury in the flesh.

"Do you think I would willingly forsake it all: my mother, my father, everything I loved, and the girl I once was for any of this? To conform to what you want? To ruin my entire life? Of course not! I never asked for any of this and I will never be what you dreamt of turning me into!" Alexa shouted, bright tears shining in her eyes. It was as if he was asking her to tear down everything she had built, give more than she had been forced to sacrifice to become a force for evil, which was something that deeply offended her.

Sergei now stood closer to the glass wall, meeting Alexa's eyes. She watched him cautiously, mainly because of the sly smirk on his face. Alexa glared at him through her tears that had pooled in her eyes and refused to let the tears fall down her cheeks. That was a weakness she could not afford now."Your words mean nothing to me, Alexandra. You're far too deep in this game already," he said. Sergei stopped momentarily to glance at the front wall. "We might even add a special...rule in the game for you, to make you come back."

The aura changed entirely from hostility to fear. It was evident that her mood had changed and she stared at Sergei. "What would that be?" she said, feeling her stomach twisting into knots.

"It's about that man, Alexandra," he smiled.

A look of raw fear came across Alexa's face and she stared at him incredulously. "W-what man?" she stammered, not believing what she was hearing.

"Don't be coy. I saw you kiss him at the party," he said, laughing mockingly at her. "You let your emotions rule you, and you made a fatal mistake that will ruin you."

Alexa never wanted to admit it, but she knew he was right. Her emotions had blinded her and put her in a complicated situation. "H-how do you plan to ruin me?" Alexa said shakily, attempting to regain her composure.

"If you don't return with me, we will take this life you've built and burn it to the ground. We will take away everything you hold dear—your friends, your good name, and your peace of mind. Nothing will ever be safe for you again, and you'll finally know what it truly means to be alone," he said. Alexa's eyes flashed with fear before her expression morphed into one of utter fury.

"You wouldn't dare!" she said indignantly.

"Oh, I would. Every person you've ever loved or tried to protect dies at your hands. What makes you think it'll be different this time around?" he said mockingly.

"I was only four years old, you bastard! Give me a break!" Alexa exclaimed furiously.

"No matter," Sergei said, with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I've said everything you need to know and you should be fully aware of what I'm capable of." Her temper flared high but she could do nothing to harm him without inciting a flurry of questions from M. Alexa glared daggers at him and felt pure anger in her heart.

"If you so much as lay a finger on him, I will not hesitate to kill you," she hissed. "And you know me—I will make it painful."

"Make me," he said tauntingly. Alexa found that she could not say anything more without causing more damage and turned to begin walking towards the door.

"Oh, Alexa?" he called as he watched her leave. Alexa did not know why but she stopped and turned around.

"What?" she snapped.

"Let's see if you're still as good as you were before," he said as he stood up. In the blink of an eye, Sergei pulled a gun out that his guards had slipped to him. He fired a shot and broke out of his glass prison. Alexa ducked quickly and ran off as one of the two men pulled out his gun and fired at the door lock, causing it to malfunction and lock. They were now cut off from the rest of the MI6 base, leaving an unarmed Alexa with Sergei and the two guards. Alexa jumped back to dodge a shot and she immediately knew that she would have to fight back. In thinking that, she knew that someone would have to be injured in this situation. It was unavoidable at this point and she had to do it in order to protect both her and everyone else.

Both men fired shots at her and she ducked her head low and dashed around the room in a zigzag pattern. She avoided the bullets with a certain degree of ease. Her tactic of dashing to the table to grab the gun in the room was effective, until she felt a bullet graze the side of her arm. She swore but quickly devised a new tactic from there. Alexa rushed forward and blocked an incoming punch with her hand. She twisted the man's wrist and he let out a loud shout, stumbling back two feet. Alexa dropped quickly onto her hands, wrapped her thighs around his neck, and flipped him to the ground before landing on the floor rather gracefully. The loud crunch of the man's neck, his cry of pain, and the sound of him hitting the pavement ensured that he was certainly injured, but she was unsure if he was completely down for the count. She grabbed his gun and made ready to fire but he knocked the gun out of her hand, the black pistol skidding across the floor. This did not dismay Alexa and she used the two guards' attacks against them. She would lean back and duck to make them attack each other.

She further revised her tactic and dashed forward, keeping low. Alexa hoisted herself over the table at the side and landed a well placed kick to the taller man's face, knocking him onto his back. She felt Sergei pull the flimsy table from under her and hit the ground hands first before flipping backwards twice. As Sergei struggled to grab more ammunition, Alexa hit the tall man with her foot in the back of the knees and hit him in the jugular vein with the side of her hand. He choked slightly before falling onto the floor. She punched the taller man squarely in the jaw and knocked him backwards. Alexa took the chance and shot him up slightly with her knee and kicked him forcefully in the abdomen, where he hit the ground with a crack of the skull. His blood seeped onto her pant leg and she turned around, looking for Sergei. She grabbed the gun off the floor to arm herself, finding nothing else.

Alexa attempted to be aware of her surroundings but she had not anticipated on Sergei's stealthiness. She did not even hear his footsteps behind her. However, it was too late to do anything anyway; he had already knocked the pistol out of her hand. She recollected her thoughts and in retaliation, she stuck out her elbow quickly to hit him in the abdomen.

He grunted in pain and she kicked high to hit him in the face with the heel of her shoes. Sergei grabbed her ankle but she did not panic like he had expected her to. Alexa wrapped her other leg around his neck and did a quick but forceful backflip to knock him down. He had gotten back up, despite his head injury from hitting the floor and grabbed her by the neck. He was stronger than her and held her tightly, not letting her escape from his grasp. For a moment, her vision was filled with nothing but red and she struggled, gasping for a breath. In the din of the fray, she heard the loud shattering of glass and footsteps.

"Alexa!" a voice shouted. She could not see who it was at the moment but instead, she heard the sound of a gunshot (which had never been so relieving until that moment). The voice belonged to Q, who had shot at the door with a pistol, after realizing that he wouldn't be able to unlock it in time to save her. Sergei's grip immediately loosened and he fell to the ground, letting her go. He groaned and tried to reach for his fallen gun. Alexa used this momentary gap in the fight to grab the gun he was reaching for and pointed it at Sergei. The man realised that it was over and merely smirked.

"Well done. You've still got it," he sneered.

"You...won't make it back...alive to tell them that," Alexa said, while trying to catch her breath. She mercilessly fired her final gunshot and it hit him in the center of the forehead, knocking him (bloodied brain and all) to the floor. She heard the sound of his head hitting the concrete floor and she knew that Sergei had failed. Alexa fired three more to ensure that he was dead and felt the urge to fire until the gun was emptied. However, she felt a hand grip onto hers and it pushed her hand down.

"Alexa, that's enough," Q said, his voice soft, yet firm. She let the gun clatter to the ground and it seemed that reality finally seemed to kick in. She fell into a coughing fit, attempting to fully catch her breath. She shut her eyes and breathed heavily, feeling panic rising and falling in time with her breathing. Alexa felt another hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see who it was.

"Are you alright? Where are you hurt?" Q said as he crouched down next to her, with a look of pure, unadulterated concern written all over his face. She could see that his expression was a mix of doubt, distinct concern, horror, and a twinge of...disgust, possibly? Alexa could not respond and internally, she felt numb.

The next few events seemed like a blur to Alexa. Various paramedics attended to her wounds and they bandaged her up, cleaning the caked bloodstains off her hands. She recalled that a furious M fired questions at her, ones that she could not answer. She would merely shake her head in response, her voice seemingly lost in the din. Men rushed in and out of the room to clear Sergei's body, along with the guards that James had later killed. They wrapped a blanket around Alexa's shoulders and told Q to sit with her for a while, to see if she would talk. Within minutes, the two were alone in the room.

"Alexa," he said softly. "What just happened?" She could not bring herself to look at him and stared at the ground, pulling her knees to her chest.

"You saved my life back there. Thank you," she mumbled as she avoided his gaze.

"Alexa, look at me," he said softly as he tilted her chin up to meet his. Q found that he was not that angry at her anymore; rather, he was worried for her safety. When she met his eyes, he could see that same, sickening look of fear alight in her gaze that he hated more than anything. Q was not used to seeing her so unsure of herself and it worried him. He could see her trembling as she sat next to him and he knew that she was truly scared about something. That worried him most of all because he knew that nothing ever seemed to faze her.

So what made this different?

Alexa closed her eyes again and she felt a tear stream down her cheek. Several more followed and she pulled away from him, putting her head in her hands. Alexa was in tears and he hated seeing such a woman like her break down in such a manner.

"I didn't think any of this could happen. This is all so wrong," she mumbled. Q was unsure of what to do, given that he was terrible with handling emotional situations but he put a hand on her shoulder in an effort to comfort her. He hesitated slightly and in a moment of impulse, put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. Q knew she needed this, given by the fact that she was quite close to a mental breakdown.

She sank gratefully into his embrace and for their sake, tried to stop crying. After several minutes, her tears had been reduced to a mere sniffle. Under normal circumstances, she would have been terrified with such contact but now, she was glad that he provided comfort in his own way.

Although she felt somewhat safe in his arms, it still did not stave off her growing fear. All thoughts of her stresses filled her mind and at this point, she was on the verge of having an emotional breakdown. It annoyed her greatly because this had been the second time this week that she had neared her emotional threshold.

"What is the Agency?" he said. She shook her head wordlessly, feeling her spirits sink in her chest. Her heart felt like lead and it sank further and further with each passing second. Several moments passed and Q let out a sigh.

"I can't hold you like this and tell you that it will be alright if I don't know why exactly he attacked you," Q muttered.

"I..." she began, letting out a cough. "I'm sorry. I can't..."

There was a pleading look on his face and he shook his head. "Alexa, please. I've pieced together only a small, one-sided picture. You were trained to kill as a child. You don't like them; you're not working for them. That leaves a grey area instead. I don't know who you're working for now and what level of danger you present to the MI6. That skews the view I have of you and I need to know everything. What are you hiding from me?" he said. The look was enough to make her hesitate, even just for a second, and she knew that she couldn't avoid the truth any longer. He had to know something, anything to satiate his need for the truth. She decided that an abridged version of her past would have to do and she glanced back at him.

"I was a very different girl before, Q. Back then, I was with a dangerous crowd and those people...they could and would easily destroy you and everyone else I care about," she said guiltily. Q was silent and did not respond like she had feared and Alexa stood up without warning and the blanket fell soundlessly to the floor as she pulled away from him.

"I never should have taken the job at the Q-Branch and I don't want to see you or anyone else getting hurt because of my mistake," she said softly. Q could sense that she was on the verge of leaving the MI6 and in that sense, she was leaving him as well. He had a feeling that he would be left without any real answers, a fact with greatly annoyed him.

"So, that's it?" Q said, his gaze not meeting hers.

"I can't just stand by and watch Sergei's threats become a reality," she replied. "I have to fix this."

Fixing, as she was well aware, meant that she had to sever the ties that bound them, starting now. If she left the MI6 now and stayed away from him, there was that chance that the Agency would get the hint to leave him and the rest of her friends alone. With Mycroft's offer, this was the beginning of servering those ties.

"Really? And you're never going to tell me everything? Why you lied to me? To everyone?" Q snapped as he whirled around. A pained expression crossed his features, and he let out a heavy sigh.

"Q, I..." Alexa began, feeling caught off guard by his unexpected display of emotion. His eyes were somber as he looked back up at her.

"Look, I've already been deceived by three of the closest people to me," he said quietly, his eyes cast to the ground. "Don't make that count go up to four. Please."

Alexa's breath hitched in her throat, and no words came from her lips. There was no way she could let him know without getting him fully involved. As unpleasant as it was, she had to keep him in the dark.

"Q, I'm so sorry," she said, her voice a near whisper. "I can't tell you. They would kill you if you knew anything about what I was put through, and I can't do that to you."

"Then what will you do?" he echoed blankly, the words slipping from his mouth. He was well aware of what could happen, but he needed a sense of validation to prove that his worst fears weren't true.

"You know what I have to do," she said quietly. "I need to leave."

A pang of sadness struck his heart before it became replaced with a feeling of anger. "Then this is the end, isn't it? You're going to run away and hide again. You'll lie about everything you are to start a new life, free from all of the attachments from this life," he said bitterly. "And what then? Are you going to fool more men like me until you run away again, leaving nothing but debris in your wake?"

His words stung badly, causing her to visibly flinch. She tried to keep her composure, and she shook her head numbly. "I don't know. I really don't, Q," she confessed.

Mycroft's offer flashed in her mind, and a guilty look crossed over her face. She looked visibly more upset than before, and her words caught in her throat. Alexa looked afraid and sad at the same time, and she simply shook her head and turned away from him. "I'm not certain what exactly I will do, but I'm sure of one thing—I can't stay here. I have to leave the MI6," she said, looking sad. "I made this mess, so I have to leave, or else they will destroy me and everyone around me that I care about. I can't involve anyone, so leaving is the only choice I have."

"And I'll never know how your story ends, will I?" he said, his voice taking a quieter turn. "You could be alive or dead a month from now because of this Agency, and I'm not sure if..."

"If you would even care, especially after all I lied to you about?" she said unexpectedly, the words bursting out of her mouth. It was too late to retract her statement, and she looked up uncertainly at him.

Q shifted his gaze downwards as a wave of uncertainty hit him. He was certainly angry at her for deceiving him, but he knew what it meant if she was to go alone. The risk of death was higher, and he didn't hate her enough to wish death upon her.

And so, he was torn. On one hand, he could not help but feel angry. Part of it was angry at her for lying to him about her past and the other was angry at himself. The signs that there was something off about her had all been there. He had become attached enough to be blinded by his emotions towards her. It was a feeling he knew all too well, and he mentally berated himself for being foolish. On the other hand, he didn't hate her enough to want her to die alone, risking her life to eliminate the people who tainted it.

It was evident that he was not willing to answer her question, and it seemed like a bad time for her to even bring it up. She drifted further away from him and folded her arms across her chest. Her eyes were drawn to the side and she shook her head. "Look, Q," she sighed, sounding tired. "I'm so sorry. I lied not just to you, but to everyone about everything I was. I deceived everyone from the very start to hide the other side of me. I've hurt you more than I imagined with all of this, and I never wanted to do that."

"Just please," she said softly, her gaze drifting up to meet his. "Let me go and forget about me. This is my mess, and I don't want to trouble you about it anymore."

As Q looked at her, his emotions were rising in his chest. He hardly felt this way, and it was overwhelming for him. Q finally decided to retreat into the last mask that he used frequently, one that made him feel more comfortably detached from his troubling emotions. "If that's what you want," Q said quietly before walking away, his gaze hardening and becoming less forgiving.

As she went through a whirlwind of security checkups, exit interviews, non-disclosure agreements, and final revocations, she saw a change in his attitude that made the gravity of her situation sink in. He was detached, almost as if she was a complete stranger to him. Q had hidden behind his mask of stark-cold professionalism and caused her to lose heart in the chances that he had felt something for her in the time he had known her.

She stood outside the entrance of the MI6 compound later that evening, holding nothing but her purse and her coat. It was quiet as she stared back at him, and he made no immediate effort to say the parting words.

She saw his unwillingness and chose to make the final step to begin the process of severing the ties that bound them. "I guess this is it. Goodbye, Q," she said softly. Alexa paused momentarily before looking up at him again. "And...I'm sorry. I apologize for deceiving you. I don't expect you to forgive me."

Q felt tongue tied and had no idea how to respond to her. He was always so sure of himself, but when it came to matters where his heart had a distinct influence on his mind, nothing was ever certain. It was cowardly, he thought to himself, but he decidedly hid behind his previous mask of professionalism. It was all he had at this point, and he knew that it had to be done. He learned from before that it was better to feel nothing than to feel hurt by the betrayal. It numbed him, enough to go on instead of being knocked down by betrayal.

"Goodbye, Alexandra," Q said quietly. The name held a dreadful impersonality to it, as if the memories they shared had been nothing. Her eyes held a look of pain at the sound of his words that even she could not mask, and she turned away from him quickly.

Her footsteps were quick and even as she tried to remain composed. The shadow of the street lights concealed her, enough to hide the sadness on her face.

"Wait," his voice called out once more. Q's heart had betrayed him, one last time, to slip his buried concerns forward once more.

She did not stop, nor did she choose to turn around. He watched her continue forward with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Q was torn, and he wondered if it had been right to let her go without question. It was as if he had let her march off to her uncertain future of death and danger, and hesitance began to sink in.

She did not seem to acknowledge his hesitance and was intent on removing herself from him. This was, after all, what she needed. It was unpleasant, surely, but it was all that she had.

She silently boarded the train to her route home and upon reaching her foyer, pulled out her phone. Her hands shook as she dialed the number she had seen on top of the envelope that she had been given. Alexa swallowed back her fear and held the phone to her ear, listening to the dial tone ring continuously. Finally, she heard it stop and assumed that he had picked up.

_**"Mycroft? I think I've made my decision."** _

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	14. Chapter 13

_A wise person decides slowly but abides by their decisions._

**_-Arthur Ashe_ **

* * *

**_"Mycroft? I think I've made my decision."_ **

A sharply dressed Mycroft Holmes sat at his desk in his office on Downing Street, nodding slowly as he heard Alexa speak. He honestly wasn't surprised that she had called him, given what he had heard about today's fiasco at the MI6 base.

"I'm glad to see that you've decided. What have you done so far?" he asked.

"I told Q a little bit about my past. I also said goodbye to him and resigned from my position in the Q-Branch," she said.

"Good. That's exactly what I needed you to do. I will take care of the rest," Mycroft said.

"Well, what do I do now?" Alexa replied, sounding bewildered.

"Listen carefully, Alexa. You may need to write this information down. I need you to do several other things to attend to in order to make this work. Tomorrow, get whatever else you need to make yourself look differently. After that, buy a suitcase of some sort in a consignment shop and pay with cash. If you take a suitcase from your house, they might suspect that you've run away," he said.

"That makes sense. What else?"

"Gather the most important items in your house and pack them with you. Take the envelope as well. We will be extracting money from your bank account in the guise of paying your bills. I'm sure that you have some new clothes somewhere, so take those as well. Don't take clothes that you've previously worn, alright?" Mycroft said.

"Right. How will I get out of London?" Alexa asked.

"I will send my assistant by at five o'clock tomorrow to come for you and you will leave your belongings with her. After that, she'll take you back home. I will need you to stay at home for a day while I make some final preparations. Don't let anyone in or talk to anyone," he warned. She was quite surprised to hear such a detailed plan from him but she was grateful for it anyway.

"Alright," Alexa said.

"Would you like to hear the tricky part now?"

"What exactly does that entail?" she said softly.

"I went to Belarus," he said simply.

"Why?"

"As you know, they are one of the few countries that still enforce capital punishment and they owed me a favour. Ergo, I asked and I received an incarcerated war criminal on death row. Although she had blonde hair, she did have pale skin and the same general features, since she was Belarusian. There were others, but she resembled you the most," he said.

"Go on," she said.

"They performed a laryngectomy on her so she is unable to speak. She has undergone facial alteration surgery as well, so she looks a lot more like you do. Therefore, she will take your place," he said.

"What exactly will happen on that day?" she said.

"On the morning of the second day, I want you to wake up and go about your usual business. At six fifty that evening, you will go out of your home and off to the MI6 headquarters," he said.

"What? Why do I have to?" Alexa exclaimed.

"Listen to me. You have to pretend you forgot something and you have to face Q," he said.

"Mycroft, I have no idea if I can do that. What will I say to him?" she said, sounding panicked. "Besides, I doubt he'd be there. It is New Year's Eve, after all."

"If there's one thing I know about my little brother, it's that he is always working, even on a holiday," Mycroft said matter-of-factly.

"You're kidding. Does M even allow that?" she said incredulously. It certainly sounded like something Q would do, since he seemed to enjoy his work just that much.

"He doesn't pay him for working on holidays. M always just leaves him in there to his own devices," he replied offhandedly.

"That's not surprising in the least," she muttered. "So, what do I tell him?"

"While you're in there, I don't care what you say. You can tell him whatever you deem necessary. However, you have to run out. Naturally, he'll follow you and he's probably not as quick as you, but he still is fairly nimble. You'll head towards the Barbican Tube Station. Once you round the corner, there will be a black car waiting for you. Hop into the car and we'll send out the other woman. He'll follow her and she will jump in front of the train," he said.

"Will she do that?" she said incredulously.

"She'll willingly do it because if she doesn't, she'll die. She's a war criminal under capital punishment anyway so she has to die somehow," Mycroft said.

"What if she doesn't obey your orders?" she said.

"I have several armed men in the station to ensure that everything goes smoothly. You know what I mean," he said.

"Well, why does he have to see me die?" Alexa said, sounding terrified.

"He has to see you die in order to make it completely convincing. If he witnesses your death, then he'll undoubtedly be believed by everyone around him. This will instigate the desired effect, that you're dead," Mycroft said.

"But I don't want to hurt him like that!" Alexa cried.

"I understand that this is a tough situation but we have to do what is necessary, Alexa," he replied calmly.

"But-" she protested.

"You do want to ensure his safety, correct?" Mycroft said. There was a brief silence and his words slowly sank into her mind, to the point where she was able to think and decide clearly.

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "What next?"

"Your corpse will be brought to St. Bartholomew's Hospital nearby, where they will state that Alexandra Abbott is indeed dead. You will be brought to the safe house we've established for you here after the suicide. While they're planning your funeral, you will get a haircut and your hair dyed a different colour for your passport photographs and licenses. After that, you'll be out of London and on your way," he said.

"And from there, you won't contact me anymore, correct?" she asked.

"No, we won't. The last thing we will do is leave you with a car and several different license plates. From there, you are free to roam wherever you choose so as long as you do not reveal that you are alive," Mycroft said.

"That sounds perfect. And as for tomorrow, can I...at least try to tell him I'm okay somehow?" Alexa said hesitantly.

"Well, you must to stay away from him after you're dead, Alexa. I apologize," Mycroft said.

"Please, Mycroft. I don't want to just leave him in that sort of state, alone and possibly depressed. I can go through with almost all of this plan but I can't do that. I have to at least do something," she said. There was a brief silence and she heard a sigh on the other line.

"I'll put heightened security measures around the cemetery. Make it quick and make it discreet and refrain from saying anything that could give all of this away," he said.

Alexa let out a sigh of relief and felt a little bit of the weight in her chest release. "Alright. Thank you for this. Really. I didn't expect you to be so well-prepared, and I honestly don't think I would have done all of this as well, had I done it myself," Alexa said, running her hand through her hair.

"You can thank me when it's over. This is for the greater good and benefit of us all," he said.

"I suppose so. I'll be there tomorrow then," she said. Alexa said goodbye and hung up, proceeding to rush around her house. She set her box from work next to the stair steps and went up to her bedroom to gather her important belongings.

Alexa put the envelope on her bed, along with several of the inventions she had constructed in the Q-Branch and the key to her home in Kodino. She had looked at it earlier from a secure satellite connection and knew that it was still intact and inhabitable. Alexa planned to reside at her childhood home, figuring that the Agency would not expect her to be there. People rarely returned to the death scene of parent, given that there would be tremendous traumatic repercussions that would come with it. It was the safest place for her to stay and she would reside there while formulating a plan to bring down the Agency.

She also took the small photograph of her family out of the bottom of her jewelry box and set it on the bed. Alexa then set up a secure network connection and plugged her phone into her computer, transferring the data into a microSD card. She left the phone in her purse and pulled out of her new clothes from her closet, leaving only a few inside.

She lay down that night, feeling a weight in the bottom of her heart. Alexa tossed and turned, thinking it would eventually dissipate but it did not. It lasted through the night and allowed her to get only a few hours of rest. When she got out of bed and took a seat at her kitchen table, it was then that she realized what exactly was going through her veins. Her peaceful life here in London was now coming to a close and that in itself made her very uncomfortable. What made her even more uneasy was the fact that she would have to sever all ties with the ones she loved in the process. The life of Alexandra Abbott would have to meet its end and for once, she found that she hated it.

Ending one of her lives had never been this difficult. No, this one was different because she actually had something to lose, bridges to burn and ties to sever. She had already lost everything with Q and her work and that saddened her greatly. Alexa had loved it so much, had loved him so much, and she hated to lose it all like this.

She had never once realized how much this identity had meant to her and she was afraid to lose it, because it defined her. For the longest time, she had believed that this was who she really was and it was a terrifying thing, to lose herself. Alexa really wasn't sure of anything at this point, and she could not determine who she was.

Alexa shook off her negative thoughts and tried to brighten her mood, by brewing a cup of coffee. She sat quietly at her table, staring rather pensively out the window. At a quarter past nine, she got dressed and headed down to a drugstore. She figured that it would be quite busy there, since it was the twenty-ninth of December. New Year's was coming up and that meant that everyone would be stocking up on hangover pills and possibly even birth control.

Anything could happen on New Year's, after all.

She made her way past several other shoppers (who were, as she had anticipated, buying contraception pills at the counter) and browsed carefully through the shelves. Alexa picked up a a variety of coloured contacts, a pair of cheap, black glasses without a prescription, and other toiletries she might need along the way. She bought some medication such as painkillers and Tylenol, for if she were to fall ill. Alexa paid at the counter and tapped her fingers against the table, with the cashier lackadaisically scanning her items. The woman did not question on her item selections and merely kept chewing on her bubble gum, without giving Alexa so much as a passing glance.

After buying her things, she went to a phone book and searched for consignment stores in London. Alexa found one a few blocks away and she walked towards it, later going in to buy her suitcase. She soon found an inexpensive black case and paid for it, before heading home to pack. Alexa entered her home and carefully packed her clothes, toiletries, and important items. For the first time since it had been given to her, she opened the envelope and inspected the files.

There were three different folders inside, each containing different identities with varied nationalities. One folder held papers under the name of Alyssa Cartieré. She was put as a French citizen who held a job as a freelance photographer. The next batch of papers was under the alias of Natasha Semyonova, a Ukrainian native with a job as an aspiring author. The last folder held the identity of Veronica Ryder, a British artist.

At first, it seemed rather strange for Mycroft to pick such occupations for her but it soon became evident that they had chosen out of safety. Such jobs were based on independent work and had little external communication with others. Therefore, no one would need to validate that she worked in such a position. If they had chosen a job like an office assistant or even a barista, they would have to deal with loose ends to tie up.

She set the files in the folder once more and was careful not to leave marks on the hardwood floors from the wheels on the suitcase. Alexa made sure to get what she needed and soon heard a car pull up outside of her home. She exited the house and placed her case in the trunk before taking a seat with Mycroft's assistant, Anthea.

"Hello again," Alexa said. The young woman merely nodded and as always, was typing on her cellphone. They had a quiet ride through the streets of London before arriving at a neat little office, with a gilded black door. She went in, carrying her suitcase in one hand, and looked around at the empty, but tastefully decorated foyer.

"Where's Mycroft?" Alexa asked.

"He's out to dinner with his friend," she replied shortly.

"Friend? Like who? He doesn't seem like the sort to befriend anyone," Alexa said, thinking aloud.

"Oh, he has one, Greg Lestrade," Anthea said as she led her towards her desk. "I'll take your things. Follow me, please."

"Okay," Alexa said. She left her bag there, as told, and was given a small bag.

"This is what you'll be wearing when you head off to the MI6 headquarters. Your employee card had been deactivated, so there's a metal card in there with rubber that will emit a large and sudden dose of electromagnetic interference that will confuse the door system to let you in. You have precisely four minutes to talk to him and you need to leave the building at precisely 6:54. The train should arrive at 6:58 and we'll watch and make sure it does. Follow the plan and everything should go smoothly," she said simply.

"Alright. Thank you," Alexa replied.

"Not a problem. Head outside and they'll drive you home," she said as she showed her to the door again. Alexa nodded and went out with her newly acquired items, climbing into the car once more.

She headed home and pulled her new clothes out of her bag, which consisted of a plain red dress, a pair of black tights, a beige coloured coat, black ballet flats, and a black scarf. Alexa put the clothes in her closet and took a seat on the bed momentarily, to think about what else she needed to do. Night was falling quickly so she made herself a dinner of chicken soup and lay down in her bed to sleep. All she could do now was wait for her time to end.


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope my explanations in the middle make sense! Read carefully to understand them because they do show up later on in the story.

_When you say goodbye to a friend, assume that one of you is going to die before you ever see one another again. If you want to leave something unsaid, then fine. But be prepared to leave it unsaid forever._

_**-Walter Slovotsky** _

* * *

_**(December 31, 2012- 11:47 AM)** _

New Year's Eve.

It was what most people considered to be a fresh start, a way to start over. Today was the mark of a hypothetical turning of the pages, a clearing of the slate. New Year's Eve seemed to be synonymous with closing a chapter in the book of life and resetting old scores, so to speak. To be honest, it seemed almost fitting for her to die on such a day, where everyone was given a fresh start.

It was supposed to leave people feeling pure and lighthearted, knowing that they could make a new start with their lives. However, it did nothing but leave a bad taste in Alexa's mouth and a feeling that left her cold to the core. It was a sensation that made her skin crawl and her heart felt like it witheld a weight of lead. Such a feeling prompted her to not get out of bed until noon and it caused her to nearly stumble down the stairs as she went to get coffee.

Alexa poured herself a steaming mug of coffee, letting the strong aroma fill her nostrils as she held it in her hands. She took a sip and heated up some bread, before taking a seat at her table. As she sat there and munched quietly on her meal, she soon realized that this simple brunch of bread and coffee was essentially her last meal in this house. She could feel the end creeping up to her even in this small aspect, and it was hard for her to keep her anxiety hidden away.

Alexa put away her cups and plates and conducted her daily business like she had been told. She had already done the same thing yesterday, since she had done nothing but stay inside her home. Alexa made numerous preparations for the journey ahead of her and spent the majority of the day trying to ease her troubled mind. At around three, she found that she could not stay inside her home any longer so she put on her shoes and went outside.

The brisk winter air pierced her lungs and she began to walk down the sidewalk, thinking of what to say to Q and if she would leave something at her grave on the day of her funeral. Alexa continued to think about her situation as she wandered aimlessly around London, not knowing exactly where she was going. She sat quietly at a bench in a park and stared at the frosted sidewalks in contemplation. What could she even tell Q later tonight and what message could she leave for him? There were a million emotions running through her mind that she desperately wanted to say but could not put into words.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him and despite the looming threat of her past life, nothing would change that. Aside from that, she didn't know what else to tell him. After deciding to worry about the problem when she got there, she stood up and began walking once more, feeling the chill of the winter snow creeping into her bones. She walked down a busy sidewalk and back to her home, where she freshened up and waited for the moment to arrive. Alexa sat quietly at her couch before loud chimes of the clock signaled that it was already six o'clock.

She stood up and let out a deep sigh, before putting on her new clothes. Alexa stared at herself in the mirror with a rather forlorn look before decisively shutting her closet door. She headed downstairs and on impulse, grabbed her copy of Computer Viruses: from Theory to Applications. This was the novel Q had seen her reading when they had first met and she figured that she could at least put something in there to tell him that she was okay.

Alexa sat quietly at her dining table and thought of something to put inside of it, to let him know that she was up to something. She went with a Myszkowski cipher, since she knew that he had affinity for cryptography. Such a code encrypted a single phrase using a sort of table and an incomplete columnar pattern with a word key. It would make her encrypted message and she knew it was the type of thing Q would crack. But not without some work, of course.

The Myszkowski cipher had a designated codeword to help encrypt and decrypt the specified phrase. The way it worked was that the letters of the codeword were numbered according to their position in the alphabet. The code word could literally be anything and she found that the very first word that came to mind was banana. She wanted to give him the book with the codeword inscribed on the inside of cover tonight, so she wrote it down. Alexa wrote down several numbers marked as c2, c1, c3, c1, c3, and c1. These numbers were vital to the codeword, since these were the column numbers. She had written a c in front of the numbers to throw them off a bit, making them think that c stood for "chapter" instead of "column". Alexa shut the book and pulled out a piece of paper from her notebook, to write the letters that he would need.

Now, since Alexa used the word banana, it would result in B being 2, A being 1, N being 3, A being 1 again, N being 3 again, and A finally being 1 for the third time. The message that was to be encrypted was then put under each letter. Alexa had listed down each place that she wanted to stay at: Dijon, Stuttgart, Leipzig, Poznan, Warsaw, Minsk, Bryansk, Moscow, and finally to Kodino. The last part of the message would say, "Don't go after me". She hoped he would actually listen to her for once, given the forces she was dealing with. It would be her message and it would tell Q where she would be. The message itself would be written like this:

* * *

BAN ANA

213 131

DIJ ONS

TUT TGA

RTL EIP

ZIG POZ

NAN WAR

SAW MIN

SKB RYA

NSK MOS

COW KOD

INO DON

TGO AFT

ERM E_ _

_**[Author's Note: The letters (DIJONS, TTUTGA, etcetera) are supposed to correspond with the numbers (213131). The underscore ( _ ) stands for blank spaces. The spaces in between indicate that the six columns are divided in half, three letters on each side. Formatting on this website just sucks sometimes, so I apologize.]** _

* * *

After putting the message through that table, the letters of the codeword were then lined up in alphabetical order and numbered from one to ten according to their alphabetical order. If we were to return to the codeword once more, it would look like so:

* * *

AAA BNN

111 233

IOS DJN

UTA TTG

TEP RLI

IPZ ZGO

AWR NNA

AMN SWI

KRA BSY

SMS NKO

OKD CWO

NDN IOO

GAT OOF

RE_ EM_

* * *

The code word was then divided in half to put three letters on each side. The end result came out to be numerous letters in a pattern of three that seemed to make no sense to the naked eye:

* * *

**IOS DJN UTA TTG TEP RLI IPZ ZGO AWR NNA AMN SWI KRA SBY SMS NKO OKD CWO NDN IOO GAT TOF RE_ EM_**

* * *

Alexa wrote these letters on a new piece of paper and nothing else on it and reminded herself to give it to Anthea later to rewrite. She wondered if he would get it immediately, but at least he would know something. However, she was sure that for a regular person, it would require more creative thinking on their part.

She stood up and slipped on her coat and put on her scarf. Alexa brushed her hair loosely over one shoulder and tucked the book under her arm. At six thirty, she took one last look at her home before shutting the door with an air of finality. She was almost entirely sure that she would never return to this home again and she felt a wave of sadness flood her body as this thought went through her mind. Alexa shook her head and headed off to the Tube station to go to the headquarters.

She arrived several minutes later and scanned her pass in the doorway. The light beeped red, and that didn't surprise her, given that she didn't work here anymore. She let out a sigh and pulled out a small metal card which had rubber on one side. Anthea had given it to her yesterday, and she pressed the metal edge against the pad. Alexa pushed the button and watched as the light wavered from orange to yellow before finally turning green. The door hissed open, and she shoved the card in her pocket for future use. Alexa went inside and walked down the empty and eerily quiet corridors, her shoes clacking softly against the concrete. She went down the elevator and smoothed her hair back with a clammy hand, in an attempt to calm herself. The sound of her heart pounding seemed to fill the tiny elevator car before it was momentarily interrupted by the ding of the elevator.

She went down the hall and turned into the Q-Branch, where she saw Q standing at his desk like he usually was. Alexa found herself smiling slightly, realizing that Mycroft was not, in fact, joking about Q working on a holiday. She went inside and walked quietly into the room.

"Everyone else is out on holiday and you're here, hard at work. Why does this not surprise me?" Alexa called as she walked in. He stiffened slightly at the sound of her voice and turned around, looking genuinely surprised to see her.

"Alexa," he said his voice a mix of astonishment and relief. For the past few days, he had been plagued with hesitance over his decision of letting her go. It was easier now, particularly because he was less emotionally compromised. With a clearer head, he decided that he just wanted to talk with her. He needed understanding as to why she lied to him, in order to determine the best thing to do.

"I...wasn't expecting to see you," he admitted. "How did you get in?"

"I wouldn't be much of a former MI6 employee if I didn't know how to unlock a door, would I?" she said, smiling lightly.

"Why did you want to unlock it anyway?" he said curiously.

"I wanted to drop something off," she said, motioning to the book under her arm.

"What is it for?" Q asked.

"Er...nothing in particular," she replied lamely. Alexa set the book down on her desk and stared at the front cover rather pensively. Q came towards her and stopped as he came up behind her.

"That's the book you were reading when we first met," he said. Q wasn't sure of why it was here but it made him uneasy for some reason. "Why is it here?"

"It's important," Alexa replied, giving him a cryptic smile. "You might be surprised by the things you can find in there."

He was a bit surprised by her vaguely foreboding response and he let out a sigh. "Alexa, you're being rather vague about things. What happened?" Q said as he stood there with her.

"You know, that...thing happened, Q. I can't let them hurt you or anyone else because of me," she said softly.

"You never clarified what exactly was going on that day. What is the Agency and why was that man trying to kill you?" he said.

"The Agency is a group of people and I did something that made them angry," Alexa said simply.

"Which was...?"

Alexa hesitated slightly and shook her head. "It made them angry enough to keep pursuing me, didn't it?" she said. He noticed her avoidance of the subject and decided to try another angle.

"Well, what about that man?" Q said.

"I knew him before, and he was sent here to kill me," she said. He nodded and was silent for a moment, before turning to face her.

"This thing that you were involved with is dangerous and you must have had to do something unpleasant at some point in your life. The question is...how bad were the things you did?" he said. Alexa paused for a moment, unsure of how to answer but for once, she decided to speak as honestly as she could. She set her hands on the book and looked up at Q, her eyes meeting his.

"If you knew the truth, then your views on me would change; not by a little, but by a lot. You would see that I am not at all what I try to be and that people like me don't belong here (or anywhere else, for that matter). If I told you exactly how bad my sins were, then I'm sure that you would walk away from me and never wish to speak to me again, much less spare me a passing glance. Then, I'll be alone again," she said, letting out a soft and melancholy laugh.

It was in this moment that her composure had slipped away and Q realized that he had caught a glimpse of what lay beneath her cool and carefully constructed façade. There was a living and breathing human being inside, not a lifeless automaton that lacked emotion. Alexa possessed sins and regrets like everyone else. He could see that she feared being alone and was rather disconnected with others, a vagabond to some extent. She was prone to making errors and feeling the pain they brought. Alexa acknowledged her mistakes and knew the consequences of future errors and for that single moment, she had stripped off all her masks and façades to reveal a sort of frailty to her existence. She was nothing but a woman trying to survive as long as possible, with a world that was constantly crumbling under her feet. This was the true Alexandra and it was brought forth for all to see.

Q had a feeling in his mind that he could not shake, and he had a guess in mind as to what her secret was. It left him troubled, and he let out a deep sigh. "Everyone has their demons, Alexa, and you learn to expect anything and everything when you're working in a place like this. I just need you to tell me what it is. I want to understand so that we can figure out the best thing to do here," he said as he put a hand on hers. Alexa studied him for a while and shook her head.

"This is different. This isn't an easy demon to kill," she said quietly.

"Then are you ever going to tell me what it is, instead of beating around the bush?" he said.

"Maybe someday," she smiled vaguely. "You don't have to look far to find the truth."

Q saw her calm, if not apathetic demeanor and furrowed his brow. Her answers were too vague for him to gather much concrete information, and she was being hard to read on purpose. As he attempted to find a different angle to attack her from, she interjected with a thought of her own.

"You could just say goodbye and we could walk away from each other now and forget about me completely. It'd be better, if not easier, that way," she murmured.

"It may be easier, but it's not what I want. I won't walk away from you. Not in a situation like this," he said. Alexa could only nod in response, sighing sadly. They were now both silent and he felt like he had to say something.

But what?

He struggled to find words that properly conveyed his emotions and racked his brain for something to say. In a moment of clarity, however, he realized that his actions would speak louder than any words in the world. Without warning, Q cupped her face with his hand, kissing her gently.

It was a lovely, bittersweet kiss that sent that familiar, exhilarating rush through her veins but ultimately left her feeling sad. Much to her dismay, he did not break the kiss and instead, let his arm wrap around her waist, in an effort to make it more intimate. Under normal circumstances, she would have been perfectly content with such an act but it only served to make her feel as if her heart were being torn in two. Alexa snapped out of that dizzying effect that he seemed to have on her and she pulled away quickly.

"No!" she said sharply. Alexa realize how harsh the word sounded and she hastily tried to think of something else to say. Q was taken aback by how distressed she was and noted the heartbroken look in her eyes.

"Don't...do that to me. Please. Don't kiss me impulsively, when I know full well that you don't love me. It is neither fair nor right for both of us," she said in a trembling voice, with bitter tears filling her eyes. She had convinced herself that her love was not reciprocated and for him to kiss her like that was hurtful. It confused her and aroused the emotions she did not want to feel.

"Look, I let you go yesterday because I didn't see it...I mean, I was confused and angry, but I didn't tell you that I realized I..." he began, his voice trailing off. Q struggled to tell her how he really felt and was ultimately unable to bring himself to say that he truly did love her.

Unbeknownst to him, his hesitance had stemmed from the fact that she had lied about her past and he was unsure if he could trust her. It truly frustrated him because he knew that it was a missed opportunity, something that would be left unsaid. However, he failed to realize that it was also something that he would ultimately regret never saying and that he would not have a chance to tell her again.

Not for a while, anyway.

"Realized what? Don't lead me on like that. It's just...cruel. Cruelty just doesn't suit a man like you," she said softly.

"And sadness doesn't suit you," he replied as he gently took her by the hand. "What makes you think I don't harbor any affection for you?"

"Well, we were at that party and when I kissed you, you said 'I don't think...'," she mumbled.

"What of it?"

"I assumed you didn't feel the same way," she said.

"Was there anything else that I did?" Q said hesitantly.

"It wasn't you. I made you angry that one day and then we were attacked. Besides, I don't think it would be fair for you to get involved with me anyway, not with what's going to happen," she said before realizing where her sentence was leading to. Alexa then looked down and refrained from saying any more.

"Why wouldn't it be fair for me to be involved? What's going to happen?" Q said, looking confused. There was a rather lengthy silence and he watched her carefully. Her eyes darkened and she wrung her hands nervously, while trying to formulate a proper response.

"Nothing, nothing," she said absentmindedly.

"It can't be nothing. You look worried," he retorted as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Q, I..." she began. Alexa's voice trailed off and she let out a sigh. "I have no idea what to say to you."

"Tell me the truth. What is going to happen?" he insisted. She hesitated and glanced back at him.

"I have to leave. Permanently," she said quietly. He immediately understood what she was trying to say and he was struck with raw and genuine fear.

"You can't be serious," Q said, looking appalled.

"I've fucked it all up. This is the only way I can fix it," Alexa said, her voice in a near whisper.

"There has to be some other way," he insisted.

"There is no other way," Alexa said gravely, with her eyes filled with tears and a helpless expression on her face.

"Don't say that!" Q said sharply. He ran a hand through his hair and his voice took a quieter turn.

"There has to be something. Anything," he said in sheer desperation.

"Q, I know you understand why I need to do this," Alexa said, shaking her head. "The Agency knows I'm alive already. If I leave London with them knowing I'm alive, there's still a chance that they'll use the ones I care about to get through to me. You'll be endangered, along with all of my friends."

"Alexa, if you try to do anything like that, then..." he said, his voice faltering. This was spinning quickly out of his control and he did not know if he could make her stay. She was so sure of her death and even he was unsure if he could change her mind.

But he would be damned if he didn't at least give it a try.

"Then what? What would you do, Q? I'm just your co-worker. You don't need to care. I just wanted you to know," Alexa said, choking back a sob.

He struggled to keep his voice in control but managed to speak. "You're not just a co-worker. You're my friend. More than that, really. I care about you much more than I should. If you die like this, then I don't think I would ever be the same," he said as he wiped her tears away. Q put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her once more.

"Promise me that you won't do it. Please, Alexa," he said firmly. There was a pleading look in his eyes that was hard to ignore but she shook her head, attempting to avoid it.

"I can't promise you that, Q. I'm sorry," she said.

"However, I can promise that it'll be ok. As long as I'm out of the way, they should leave you alone," Alexa continued. Her heart ached as she said these words and she knew exactly why she hurt this badly.

She was letting him go.

Q wasn't hers, strictly speaking, but he was the only man she had ever truly fallen in love with. She had to sever the ties that bound them so that she could keep him safe from the Agency and their men. The last thing she wanted to do was to drag him into a battle where he could not fight.

"Tell me why," he said, sounding weary.

"What is there to say?" she asked.

"Why are you fighting so hard to keep me safe?" Q said as he took her by the hand. There was a slight and hesitant pause before she looked up at him.

"It's because I love you," Alexa replied softly. "I don't care if it's unrequited. I want nothing more than to ensure your safety and that's the truth of the matter entirely."

She stood on her toes and kissed him gently on the lips for the last time. "I'm sorry," she said softly as she pulled away.

And she let him go.

Her words had numbed him and he found that he could not say anything in return. Alexa looked at him with a look of regret in her eyes for the last time before bolting out the door. For the first time in a long time, she ran. She sprinted down the halls, as fast as her legs could carry her, to erase the fear and pain in her heart. She didn't want to feel but yet, she was. Alexa had never felt so much in her life and it was killing her on the inside.

It was in this moment that Q realized what a horrible mistake he had made by not telling her that he did love her and he cursed loudly. "Alexa, wait!" he cried as he ran after her. He shouted her name as they went to the entrance of the MI6 building but she would not listen. She ran about 20 meters in front of him into the streets and inhaled the cold, London air to clear her muddled thoughts. Alexa did not dare to glance back and made her way to the Tube stop without stopping.

She checked her watch and ensured that she was on schedule before sprinting down the frosted sidewalks. The din of the traffic enabled her to not hear anything that he was saying and she finally arrived at the corner of Long Lane and Aldersgate Street. Alexa ran into the open car door and shut it behind her.

"Go!" Anthea said to the woman who sat in the front seat. She glanced back at them hesitantly and Alexa stared at her in amazement. It was easy to say that they looked undeniably similar to one another. Alexa murmured a quiet word of thanks before the driver pointed a gun at the woman and told her to be on her way.

She rushed off and headed down the stairs, just as Q rounded the corner. The driver started the car and the three of them drove off in silence. Alexa glanced back at the entrance of the Tube stop and felt a pang of guilt as she stared at it. She hoped that Q would be alright, yet she highly doubted it. She looked back at the Tube stop and told herself that this was the end of it. Alexandra Abbott was dead and everything would be alright now.

Or was she simply lying to herself?

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Q ran after "Alexa" down Long Lane. He had seen her round the corner up ahead and figured that she was running off to the Tube station below them. He was afraid of what would happen to her and the wrenching feeling in his gut would not leave. Q bolted down the stairs, with his mind set on preventing her death, and he jostled against the crowd as he ran through the station.

"Move! It's an emergency!" he yelled as he made his way down to the ticket gate. He jumped past a turnstile and by the time he had reached the top of the stairs, he had spotted her. She was standing dangerously close to the platform, about 30 meters from him. Q could hear the train coming to the station, fast and loud, but it did not drown out his voice.

"Alexa, don't!" he shouted. She seemed to stiffen but did not turn to look at him. The train was quickly approaching the station now and as he reached the bottom of the stairs, he saw her jump.

There was no time for the train to stop. Her body had hit the front of the train car before disappearing underneath the train. What he heard next was the horrible screech of the brakes as they attempted to stop and the panicked shouts of the passersby below. Q could not bear to go and search for her body, fearing that it would be mangled by the train. He simply fell to his knees in shock, with tears streaming down his face. The paramedics soon arrived and they sat him on a bench as the police went to look for her body.

"Sir, can you tell us why this happened?" the EMT said as she sat with Q.

"She's dead," he whispered.

"Was that woman a friend of yours?" the woman said.

"She was more than just my friend. I loved her and I never told her. Bloody hell," he muttered, putting his face in his hands. Despite the fact that he was a stranger, the EMT felt pity for this man and put a blanket around his shoulders. Q spotted the men throw the body into a body bag, along with a leg and an arm and other limbs that had been torn off by the train. He found that he could not look away and stared at that same spot as they led him away to be brought to the hospital. He wasn't injured physically but they had to make sure he wasn't going to do anything irrational for the next few days. Q was put through a series of tests before they let him go off on his own.

He wandered aimlessly around the hospital and was lost in his thoughts. He felt incredibly guilty, since he was unable to stop her from marching off to her death. The sound of his footsteps hitting cold, linoleum floors snapped him out of his reverie. He had arrived at the morgue and he pushed open the door, entering quietly. He was a bit surprised to find his older brother there, standing next to an unfamiliar woman with a corpse laid out in front of them.

"Suicide via train. What a horrible way to die," the woman mumbled.

"I knew her briefly. Shame for her to die, really. A suicide by train collision certainly leaves quite the mess behind," Sherlock said as he took out an arm from the body bag.

"Sherlock? Is that you?" Q said as he came in. Both of them turned around and the woman stared at him curiously. Sherlock's eyes darkened when he saw his younger brother and he put the cover over the body.

"You aren't supposed to be here. Go away. Shoo," he said as he attempted to usher him out of the room with the severed arm. The woman gave him a dirty look and Sherlock grudgingly put the arm back in the bag.

"Neither are you! What the hell are you doing here anyway?" Q snapped.

"I do a lot of my work here," he said simply.

"Do you honestly expect me to believe that? It's odd, even for a man like you, to be hanging around a morgue," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh, I do come around here frequently. She can verify that," Sherlock said as he pointed to the woman next to him.

"Sorry, you are...?" the woman asked. She glanced at them for a moment and her eyes widened when she realized what they were.

"Dear God, there's a third Holmes brother?" she said.

"Precisely. You got it quicker than I expected you to," Sherlock said. She rolled her eyes and set down the beakers on the table.

"Q, this is Molly Hooper, my pathologist Molly, this is my youngest brother. He prefers to be called Q," Sherlock said.

"Lovely to meet you," Molly said as she gave him a smile. He found that he could not return the smile and shook her hand.

"Likewise. The way he refers to you makes it sound like you're his doctor," Q said politely.

"More like his paediatrician," she scoffed.

"I'm not a child, Molly," Sherlock said, sounding miffed.

"You act like one sometimes," Molly dryly. "Think of that time you had to wait four days for the results to an experiment and you sulked because, quote en quote, "it takes too long."

Sherlock shot her a displeased look and she merely shrugged it off. She had gotten used to his antics by how, considering that they had been together this long, and she knew he would sulk if she was right. Molly ignored him and turned back to Q, peering at him curiously. "So, what brings you here, Q?" she said.

His expression darkened and he put his hands in his pockets. "My friend died. Train collision. I believe that's her right there," he said quietly as he pointed at the body bag. He looked dolefully at the bag before taking a seat on a stool. Molly nodded and looked at him with a twinge of pity before going back to work.

"Sorry, Q. She's gone," Sherlock said quietly as he approached him. Q let out a heavy sigh and put his head in his hands.

"I should have known. I tried to stop her but she just wouldn't listen. I could have prevented this," he mumbled.

"Did you two talk before she died? What happened?" Sherlock asked.

"Well, she told me someone was after her and that if she didn't kill herself, then it would endanger both my life and hers. When we talked a little while ago, I had a feeling that she was going to commit suicide. I tried to talk her out of it, really, but she wouldn't listen and she ran away from me," Q said with a shrug.

"You told her you loved her though, right? Did that change her mind at all?" Sherlock persisted.

"How would you know that I loved her?" he snapped, standing up to meet his brother's gaze.

"It's completely obvious. I'm sure that even an idiot could notice it from afar," Sherlock said with a roll of his eyes. Q glared at his brother momentarily and folded his arms across his chest.

"No, I didn't get to," he said as he glared sullenly at the floor. "She told me she did love me and that she didn't care if it was unrequited. Basically, she gave up her life to keep me safe."

Sherlock nodded quietly and they watched Molly as she grabbed a paper out of a drawer. Q saw her straighten the death certificate and she pulled out a pen. After placing the date and time in the allotted boxes, she looked up at Q.

"Miss Alexandra Georgia Abbott is officially dead. I'm sorry," she said softly. Q felt an onslaught of pain and guilt flood his system and he collapsed onto a stool, with his head in his hands and tears in his eyes.

And with that, she was gone.

* * *

Damn. This took me almost an hour to reformat. Anyway, I hope you could understand it. Tell me if you don't. Anyway, she's dead now! What do you think will happen next? Will she ever see Q again? Leave me a review and let me know what you think!


	16. Chapter 15

_We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love and never so helplessly unhappy as when we have lost our beloved object or its love._

_**-Sigmund Freud** _

* * *

Nothing was alright after her death.

Alexa had assumed that everything would be fine if she was dead. The Agency would leave them alone and everyone she cared for would be safe. However, she found that her emotional state had been pushed to the limit and she felt tired and rather strained, like anything could push her over the edge. When Anthea had brought her back to Mycroft's office after her suicide, she had a panic attack upon realizing how badly Q would take her death.

After that panic had subsided and she had calmed down, she knew had to change her entire identity. Alexa was brought by Anthea to a hair salon on the north end of London. She later walked out of the salon looking like a new woman. Her dark brown coloured hair that stretched past her shoulder blades had been lopped off to be about chin length. She had gotten both her hair and eyebrows dyed to a lovely shade of ash blonde and both were reshaped to a new design that would help disguise her. Alexa would change contact lenses to make her eyes a different colour for her different identities.

Her first alias was Alyssa Cartieré, for which she used a pair of strikingly blue contact lenses. This identity would stay with her for the first two months before she would switch. After they had taken that picture for her licenses and passports, she switched to Natasha Semyonova and put on a pair of glassy green lenses. Alexa had put on a pair of brown lenses and her black glasses for the Veronica Ryder disguise. At the end of the next day, the new passports and licenses had been processed and were delivered to the safe house where Alexa was staying.

It was a basic and rather spartan flat in Islington. It merely had a bed, a television set, necessary items, a bathroom, etc. And with that, she would more or less be alone until after the funeral. Although the concept of being alone was familiar to her, she still missed being able to see Q and her friends and found that she was more irritable if she was on her own. She could snap at anything and everything, given that it was there.

She tried to cure her irritability by sleeping often but did not come easily for those next few nights. Her dreams were a jumbled mixture of her fears and past experiences. Alexa would always somehow wake up in tears at the thought Q watching her die before his very eyes or at the thought of that night her parents had died. She would then attempt to return to sleep but the dreams did not cease and continued to plague her every time she tried to sleep. It only seemed to get worse and on the bad days, she was forced to take sleeping aids in order to get enough rest for one night.

She laid low for one week until Mycroft informed her that the funeral would be the following day. He would allow her to see him but that would be the extent of their communication. Their contact would undoubtedly be short and sweet but it was all she needed. After that, Mycroft would bring her back to the office, where they would part ways.

Alexa rose from her bed on the morning of her funeral feeling both strained and exhausted. She stumbled through her morning routine, before walking to the kitchen to make coffee. The fresh aroma of the brew seemed to wake her and she ate a tasteless breakfast of bread and butter. After eating, she cleaned the apartment for her departure and took a shower. She then slipped on a pair of knit stockings, boots, and a black dress. She slipped on a pair of calfskin gloves and a black winter coat before donning her red scarf and taking one last look in the mirror.

Alexa looked miserable, to say the least. She had tired blue eyes now and had lost several pounds from losing so much sleep. It seemed that she had also lost that bright aura that defined her and seemed lifeless and lackluster. Alexa merely sighed at her appearance and made her way out the bathroom door.

Alexa grabbed her belongings before exiting the flat. It was about 9:34 AM, and Mycroft had told her that the funeral was halfway over by now. They would be there in 10 minutes or less and that would give her time to drop in and leave her note. She headed downstairs and was met by a car idling on the curb.

"Morning," Anthea greeted as she held the door open. Alexa smiled politely at her and climbed in, drumming her fingers against her knee.

"Do you have the note?" Alexa said, with a hint of anxiety in her voice.

"Not to worry. I've got it right here," she said a she held out a light blue envelope with neat cursive lettering on the front. Alexa picked it up and flipped it over, examining it from the back to the front.

"Is Q's name really Sherrinford Holmes?" she asked curiously.

"I'm afraid so. All of the Holmes brothers have exceptionally odd names, and he's no exception," Anthea said.

"So that's why he never wanted to tell me what his real name was," she muttered. They headed off to the cemetery and she sat there nervously, holding the letter in her hands. The car stopped a block before the cemetery and Anthea looked at her.

"We'll be waiting for you here," she said shortly. Alexa nodded and went out, feeling the brisk winter air hit her face. She shivered slightly and walked on, determined to see him somehow. Alexa went towards the cemetery and entered through the wrought iron gates. People were exiting already but she could see that the funeral was small but well-attended. She caught Mycroft's eye as she walked by and saw that the Holmes family had attended as well, followed by M and Tanner and the fellow techies of the Q-Branch. Alexa strode down the snow-covered path and walked past them and headed up to her gravesite. She saw Q walking and as she looked at him, felt a deep pang of guilt.

He looked miserable, to say the least. It appeared as though he hadn't gotten any sleep (like she had) and she noticed that he walked listlessly behind James and Eve. Alexa did not look at them and took a path around them by a grove of trees before stopping at her gravestone.

James had watched her and found it curious that she would avoid them deliberately. He stopped to watch Alexa standing at her grave and Eve glanced at him to see what was wrong.

"James, what are you doing?" she said.

"Isn't that Alexa's grave?" he said as he pointed at it.

"What of it?" Q muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Who is that?" Eve said curiously. All of them turned to look at the figure at the stone. Alexa stared down at the gravestone and an immense rush of guilt filled her veins. She stared at what were the shattered remains of a life well-lived, one that was filled with peaceful intentions and ended in turmoil. Alexa had adjusted well to this state and found that everything she had built was but a castle in the sand. It had disappeared as quickly as it was built, like a shadow fading in the darkness. She was forced to start again, but was unable to escape the remnants, the haunting reminders of her past life.

And she would not escape him.

The joy that she would remember from her life as Alexandra Abbott would always revolve around being with him. Never had she been happier in her life than when she had spent time with him and with her friends at the MI6. Memories, scattered from different times and places, flashed through her brain and she felt a distinct wave of sadness. A tear dripped down her cheek and soon, more followed. Her body shook with a sob and she placed a hand over her mouth, in an attempt to conceal her sadness. It had hit her now that although she was leaving this life behind, painful remnants of the love and friendship she forged would remain with her always. He would be left wondering, but eventually move on and forget somehow and she would not. There was no way she could. Life was unfair like that, and anger at the unfairness of leaving him stranded without answers for a while was consuming her with guilt.

The letter crumpled in her hand as her fingers enclosed into a fist. Tears were openly flowing down her cheeks now and she stared at the crumpled blue envelope in her hand. She could not speak to him, so this was all she could leave him with. This was her last, final hope that she hoped he would understand. Her fingers loosened their grip and the envelope fluttered down to the ground, onto the tombstone. She stayed there for a moment and touched the smooth marbled surface of the tombstone, before pulling out a handkerchief and wiping away her tears.

"Hey!" James shouted. Alexa glanced back up briefly and turned around to leave. She stared at the ground, not looking at any of them. Her emotions betrayed her, just for one more moment, and she looked up to shift her gaze to Q. They locked eyes and he could only stare at her. She looked so tired, so haggard. Alexa looked like she was hollow and drained of all vitality. In her weariness, she managed to find the strength to give him her notoriously cryptic smile. Q's eyes seemed to flash with a small gleam of recognition and a shadow of doubt and she knew that this was her cue to leave.

Alexa turned her eyes away and made her exit. Her red scarf flapped gracefully behind her as she walked briskly past the tombstones and through the snow-covered cemetery. She did not dare to look behind her and after reaching the gate, realized that Q had not followed her. Instead, he had merely watched her leave and went back to her grave to see what she had left.

James and Eve followed behind him, curious to see what the woman had left for them to see. Q saw a blue envelope addressed to him and he picked it up. He opened it wordlessly and unfolded the paper inside.

* * *

_IOS DJN UTA TTG TEP RLI IPZ ZGO AWR NNA AMN SWI KRA SBY SMS NKO OKD CWO NDN IOO GAT TOF RE_ EM__

* * *

"What the hell...?" Q muttered.

"Who was that?" Eve said. There was a brief silence and Q hesitated, thinking that the woman he had seen did vaguely resemble Alexa, minus the hair and eyes. However, his logical mind prevailed and he shook his head, knowing that there was no way that the woman could be her. He had to stop this sort of thinking right now and prevent himself from getting his hopes up.

"No idea," Q replied with a note of finality in his voice. He shoved the note in his pocket and his response prompted James and Eve not to object. Q walked out of the cemetery and attempted to eliminate that small spark of hope that was still there. He told himself that there was no way she could be alive after a fall like that.

She was dead and that was a fact that he would have to accept, one way or another.

* * *

Alexa walked out of the cemetery and into the car that idled about a block from the gates. As usual, Anthea sat inside on her phone and did not glance up as Alexa entered the car.

"How was it?" she said as the car began to drive.

"Great," Alexa lied. Anthea merely chuckled and shook her head as she continued to type away on the Blackberry's tiny keyboard.

"Don't lie to yourself. It never gets better that way," she replied. Alexa knew she was right and could only shrug in response.

"At least we didn't talk," Alexa said.

"There's the silver lining," she remarked as she put her phone in her pocket. The brunette glanced back up at Alexa and turned her attention to the driver, who had brought them to a storage complex building. They drove through empty lots before arriving at storage unit 163.

The two women stepped outside and Anthea opened the garage door to the storage unit. Inside was a rather plain looking black car and Anthea handed her a pair of keys. "Here are the keys. We unloaded your things already and it's all in the back. Mycroft couldn't come, obviously, but he told me that you could keep the car," she said.

"What about the licenses and papers?" Alexa asked.

"The license plates are in the trunk, in a compartment in the side. Here are your files and licenses as well," Anthea said as she handed Alexa two large manila envelopes. Alexa peeked inside and saw separate sub folders for each identity and a substantial amount of money in the other.

"This is just what I needed. Thank you," Alexa said gratefully.

"I'll tell Mycroft that," she said as she shook hands with her. "Good luck in your travels."

"Thank you. I'll see you sometime again," Alexa called as Anthea got in the car. They soon left and Alexa climbed in, putting the files on the seat beside her. She took her purse that sat in the passenger seat and opened the folder, putting in "Alyssa Cartieré's" driver's license inside her wallet. She put in her new passport and ID as well before setting her purse on the passenger's seat once more.

Alexa drove out of the storage unit and shut it behind her before heading off to the main streets. She drove down the roads to catch a ferry to Calais and her mind constantly drifted from one topic to the next. Alexa was still quite worried about Q and the rest of her friends and attempted to reassure herself by saying that the Agency would not attack them. She had been given that precious second chance to fix this, to keep them safe. It was all she could do to finally be all she had told Q, all she wanted to be: better. She could patch up the wounds, turn it around, and make it all better, like she promised herself. In turn, life would be easier for everyone, now that Alexandra Abbott was dead.

But deep in her heart, she had a feeling that things could only become harder from this point on.


	17. Chapter 16

_Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering._

_**-Paul Coelho** _

* * *

It had been nine long months since her death.

Q tried not to think about this fact too often and focused on getting through the day, without thinking about Alexa. It was a tough feat and although there were moments where he would forget about it, there would always be something there to remind him of her. It could be anything really, but it was mainly the lack of her presence. She did rather small things, like making him tea and making him laugh, but without them, there was a sort of hollow feeling left inside of him. It would constantly remind him that she was gone.

Without her, the Q-Branch had become a bit quieter and Joy, Will, Ryan, George, and Michael all made a point to bring up any talk about Alexa as little as they could. Q himself had seemed to grow colder because of the whole affair and had removed her desk and any trace she had left in the office, as if it were a conscious effort to forget about her entirely. The only thing he had that she had left for him was the book.

Q still had no idea why she had written the word "banana" on the front cover nor why she written c2, c1, c3, c1, c3, c1. To be honest, he had merely glanced at it once when they were talking before her suicide and had refused to look at it after her death. He had kept the note that he had found on her grave that day and kept it locked away, along with the book. Both items sat in the drawer in his desk at the Q-Branch as remnants of a painful dalliance with a woman he had actually fallen in love with and he wished that he could forget about it entirely.

However, Q's life took a turn for the better as an unexpected break in the case regarding Alexa's death. During that time, he still had a small inkling of hope that he could not kill, as if he were awaiting some miracle to give him the answers and stable logic he craved and such a miracle finally came on an inconspicuous and rather unassuming October morning. It was an unprecedented event that had not arrived in the form of a letter. The news had not arrived by means of television, radio, or any social media, for that matter.

It had merely started with a visit to Baker Street.

* * *

_**(October 16th, 2013- 11:19 AM)** _

Sherlock Holmes was officially bored.

It was only 11 in the morning and he was already in an officially declared state of boredom. Was there a valid reason for this? In the eyes of the mundane, probably not. There was a lot a person could do on a beautiful October morning like this, where the sun shone on the snow and cheerful passersby below. However, the hum drum did not interest him in the least and he struggled to think of something to pass the time. He had already completed the cases Lestrade had given to him and was stuck at home to idly sit around. Sherlock had already performed three experiments since he had gotten out of bed that morning and lost a card for something in the process (he couldn't recall which it was, nor did he care). He had argued with the television, talked to the air, and visited Molly at the morgue, all in a span of about five hours.

He was also more or less the only person here, since John was now living with his new wife, Mary. On the other hand, Mrs. Hudson was off visiting a friend. There was no one to talk to except for the skull on the mantle, whom he had aptly named Yorick. He rolled over on the couch and let out a groan of frustration.

"What do I have to do to get a good case around here?" he grumbled. The man lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling for several minutes before hearing the doorbell ring. His ears seemed to almost perk up at the noise and he sat up. It had been a single ring with maximum pressure just under the half-second. In turn, he immediately knew what this person was here for.

"A client," he said aloud as he stood up, with a hint of expectation in his voice. Sherlock went downstairs (despite being in his pyjamas) and more or less threw open the door.

An elderly woman with greying brown hair and sharp blue eyes stood at his doorstep. She wore a light blue scarf around her neck and a long black coat. The woman carried nothing, save for a black binder. Although she was rather small, she had the refined air of a former dame and a look that could silence you with one glance.

"Are you Sherlock Holmes, young man?" she said, with a voice that was soft but commanding.

"Yes, may I help you?" Sherlock asked. It was curious for him to get an elderly client; the majority were younger people or men and women in their mid-fifties.

"I have something for you to look at, Mr. Holmes. May I come in?" she said. Sherlock nodded in response and she followed him inside. She seemed surprisingly sturdy for being an older woman. She had a wiry body and frail looking bones, but she could still move around quickly. The woman made it upstairs at an even pace and failed to complain about her ailments along the way.

Sherlock let her sit on the couch and he watched as the woman folded her wrinkled hands across her lap. "I need your name first," he said as he took a seat at the adjacent chair.

"My name is now Tatiana Grazinsky," she said.

"Alright. Why are you here, Mrs. Grazinsky?" he asked.

"I came here because I was told that you were the best the world had to offer," she said simply.

"What do you have for me?" Sherlock pressed on.

"Well, it's a case that no one in Russia has been able to solve. It's been almost thirty years and I'm tired of looking for answers. I've come to a dead end and I need your help," she said.

"Elaborate," Sherlock said, putting his hands against his chin.

"Well, it began with my daughter, Natalia. She was born in the summer of 1959, when I was twenty-four. She married her husband Dmitri when she was twenty-four and gave birth to my granddaughter in 1985," she said. About halfway through her little spiel, the feeling that this case would be a waste of his time grew and he leaned back in his chair.

"Yes, skip to the part where something actually happens," Sherlock said impatiently as he sank into his chair.

"It would be good for you to listen, Mr. Holmes," Tatiana said, with a tone that could only equate to that of a stern schoolteacher. Sherlock stopped merely out of respect for the elderly woman and she glanced at him once more. She opened her folder and handed him a photograph.

"This is my granddaughter," she said as she held a faded photograph in her hand of a dark-haired girl holding a caterpillar in her hands. She had a grin on her round little face and had a childishly mischievous look alight in her eyes. Although she was young, her face seemed vaguely familiar and there was something about her that he could not place.

"What about her?" he said as he glanced at the photograph.

"Her name was Alexandra Nikolova. You see, I loved that little girl and I knew there was something different about her, but in a good way. Alexandra and her parents lived in Kodino, a few hours from St. Petersburg," she said.

"And?" Sherlock said, feeling himself growing bored once more.

"Here is the problem. In 1989, my daughter, her husband, and my granddaughter disappeared without a trace from their home. We all searched the area around the house but their remains were never found. They merely vanished," Tatiana said. This piqued his interest and he sat up, looking interested.

"What I want you to do is to find out what happened to my daughter and her family. Knowing what happened will at least give me some peace of mind. However, the case is almost 30 years old. No one has worked on it since their disappearance and it left me to be forced to change my name, for fear that I would be targeted too. I doubt you would be targeted, so that's why I'm passing it to you. Can you do it?" Tatiana asked.

"It depends. Was there anything to indicate that they left of their own accord?" he said.

"Not at all. They left everything behind. Their car was still there. Their supper was still on the table. They searched the drawers of the office upstairs and found all of their passports and legal papers undisturbed. There was nothing out of place, which made it strange," she said.

"Strange indeed," he said. "Do you have anything else to show me?"

Tatiana passed him the black binder and he flipped through the pages, staring rather intently at its photo-copied contents. He nodded as he read through the book and looked up when he was finished.

"I'll take it," he said. "Give me a week and I'll see what I can come up with."

"Thank you, Mr. Holmes," Tatiana said as she shook his hand. She left him the folder and her number before exiting his flat. As soon as she left, he stared intently at the photographs in his hands and flipped through the book once more. Sherlock lay on his couch in his usual thinking position and began dissecting each detail. This girl had familiar features, like that of the late Alexandra Abbott, and he just needed something to connect this to her. Sherlock set this thought aside momentarily in his tumultuous mind to find the link between Alexa and the little girl, whilst simultaneously thinking of anyone else he had seen in any form of media or on the street.

The door opened downstairs several hours later, as Sherlock was deep in his so-called mind palace. The sound of footsteps pattering up the stairs did not seem to bother him and he stayed there, thinking quietly. John walked in and gave him a passing glance. He had gotten used to his best friend's behaviour by now and let out a sigh.

"Case?" John said.

"Precisely," he replied flatly. "Why are you here?

"Didn't you check your blog? It's bursting at the seams, Sherlock," John said. "There's a chain of unsolved murders occurring across Europe right now."

"Assassinations, John. I've done my reading. Tell George and the others at Scotland Yard that it's the work of one, not twelve or thirteen like they think it is. Tell them to leave the case for now; the murders are too scattered and too sporadic to warrant interference. You won't catch them yet," Sherlock replied. John stared at him for a moment, wondering who he was talking about, before his eyes flickered with a spark of recognition.

"Sherlock, his name is Greg, not George! You would think that you would've remembered that by now," he sighed.

"Mycroft keeps telling me the same thing. Not like I care though," he shrugged. John sighed at his antics before sitting down in his favourite chair. Sherlock sat up and stared at John for a moment before thrusting the picture into his hand.

"Look at her. Familiar, isn't she?" he asked.

John sat down and looked at the picture, his brow furrowing slightly. "Sherlock, she doesn't look familiar at all. What are you talking about?" he said. Sherlock let out a frustrated groan and flopped back onto the couch.

"I thought you were better than that, John. She has the features of Alexandra Abbott, Q's previous love affair. They even share the same name, but I'll need more of a connection than that," Sherlock said.

"Huh, I didn't notice that," John said, blinking in surprise. "Are they officially linked?"

"Not yet. It's my first suspect, but it's a fairly plausible one," Sherlock muttered.

"Give it a day or two," John said offhandedly. "Who knows, maybe it isn't her."

"I hope so," he muttered as he stared at the ceiling.

"Why would you hope that?" John said, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"If Alexa is the same girl in that photograph, that means that something complex happened in her childhood. Given the current odds and the facts presented by the case, she must have been taken away forcibly. That would, after all, explain those deductions I made about her when I met her, a soldier of Eastern European descent," he said.

"If that's true, she's like my Mary, then. They're both former assassins. Wicked girls," John sighed.

"Wicked indeed. Q really knows how to choose them," Sherlock muttered.

"Oh, like you're one to talk. You choose a woman who willingly cuts up bodies for a living," John said with a roll of his eyes.

"At least I didn't choose someone who could kill me without even trying," he replied smartly.

"Hey, that was an accident," John retorted.

"No, it's not. It's what you like," Sherlock muttered as he lay back down into his thinking position, to think about the connection between Abbott and Nikolova.

In turn, he sat at his flat for four days in contemplation. He pored over the files and began to wonder if they even had a connection. It was, after all, just one lead. Maybe he should begin searching for others. Sherlock was on the verge of attacking the case from a different angle when an idea suddenly came to mind. He sprang up and surprised Mrs. Hudson, who was bringing him a cup of tea.

"I have an idea. Come along, John," he said. He scanned the photographs onto a jump drive and grabbed the black binder as well. He put the item in his pocket and he pulled on his coat.

"I'm not John!" she exclaimed. Sherlock glanced over at her and nodded in understanding.

"Oh, yes, he doesn't live here anymore. The cuppa will have to wait then, Mrs. Hudson," he said. She watched him rush down the stairs and rolled her eyes.

"Neighbors," the older woman muttered, shaking her head as she set the cup on the table.

* * *

Sherlock arrived about fifteen minutes later in front of John's house in the suburbs. He came in by using the key they left atop the doorframe (obvious spot to hide a key, really) and walked into the living room. Mary sat at the couch, heavily pregnant and reading a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting. John sat next to her, typing furiously on his laptop.

"Mary, I'm borrowing your husband for a bit," Sherlock announced as he came in.

"New case, then. What's this one about?" the blonde haired woman said excitedly, attempting to stand up. She always loved hearing about the cases John went off on and helping in whatever way she could. John urged her to sit back down before standing up and grabbing his coat.

"His youngest brother's-" John began. Mary interrupted him at that moment, visibly looking pale.

"Oh god, and just when I thought Mycroft was bad enough, there turns out to be more of them," Mary said.

"Anyway, his previous love affair might be a former assassin linked to a long dead case in Russia. That's the short version of it," Sherlock replied.

"Like me, then," Mary said, her eyes darkening. "She had to leave him, didn't she? Emotional attachments are, after all, hard to keep with that sort of lifestyle."

Sherlock nodded in response and Mary put a hand to her chin thoughtfully. "Well, do you know where she went?" she asked.

"Six feet under the ground, technically. Suicide via train," he said.

"Shame," Mary said, shaking her head. "Those leave the worst mess behind."

"Did you think of more connections between the two?" John said from the foyer.

"I don't have to, per se. See you later, Mary. Come along, John," Sherlock said, before heading out the door with John. The two men hailed a taxi and climbed inside.

"Take us to Downing Street," Sherlock said as the cab driver began to drive.

"Downing Street? We're not heading off to see the Prime Minister, are we?" John said, looking confused. Sherlock had a habit of dragging him off to important places at inopportune moments and John refused to go meet the PM in his beloved reindeer sweater.

"Close. We're going to see Mycroft," Sherlock said simply.

* * *

Mycroft sat at his desk, filling out a visa for his departure to Berlin, and looked up once the door slammed open. Sherlock stormed in, followed by John and an apologetic Anthea.

"I'm sorry, sir. They refused to leave without seeing you first," Anthea said, glaring at the two men.

"Not a problem. Make it quick, you two. I have a meeting with the Prime Minister in an hour," he said as he stood up. Sherlock did not sit and merely walked up to Mycroft.

"I need everything you can get on a girl with the same facial structure," he said as he put down the photograph and binder on the smooth, wooden surface. Mycroft picked up the photograph and upon seeing the picture of the little girl, his eyes narrowed. He flipped through the binder and his fears were confirmed when he saw the files.

Sherlock was working on the Alexandra Nikolova case, the same woman he helped disappear nine months ago.

"Sherlock, are you sure you know what you're getting into?" he said cautiously.

"What of it? It's just another case," Sherlock shrugged.

"I see. You're better off trying a different angle of attack for this case. I don't have access to such software," he lied. In truth, he did, but he did not want Sherlock to work from that angle for the case. It was the quickest way to confirm a link between Abbott and Nikolova. He had to delay him as much as possible in order to keep from revealing the fact that Alexa was alive. Sherlock glared at his brother, upon realizing that he would get no help from him. He let out an annoyed sigh and picked up his things.

"Fine, then. I'll go ask Q," he said, falling back to his last-resort plan.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Mycroft muttered as he led them out the door. Anthea saw him nod at her and she stood up to help him kick them out.

"Did you say something?" Sherlock said, turning around.

"Nothing," he said casually, patting Sherlock on the back." Good luck on your case."

Sherlock remembered that he had to get a pass to make his way into the MI6 building, as he had lost his to a mixture he made in the lab earlier that week (which, in hindsight, was not one of his brightest ideas). In turn, he nicked Mycroft's wallet out of his back pocket. The politician flinched but he had not seen who had grabbed his derrière, since they were crowding in the doorway. His first and only guess was Anthea, since she was the only woman near him.

Mycroft thought nothing of it (thought of it as a compliment, really) and went back to his office. He made sure that the two men left the building before taking hold of the phone on his desk. He pulled out a number from a forgotten corner of the drawer and dialed it to tell her the news that she had not been expecting in the past nine months.

* * *

Alexa sat quietly on the train to Paris, staring out at her surroundings. The rain fell angrily outside, barraging the metal car with water droplets as they proceeded on their journey. She stared out quietly at the countryside before blowing on the window to fog it up. Alexa absently traced her gloved finger against the glass to make a smiley face but the train braked suddenly and her finger slashed across the fogged glass. As the train continued on its path, she looked back up and saw that the face staring up at her (instead of smiling), was instead frowning at her. She sighed and pulled her hand away and quickly erased the fogged-up glass. Alexa sat back in her seat and tried to ease the sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach but naturally, it did not dissipate. She could not fight off that single, definite fact that she had tried to bury long ago, all to no avail.

Alexa missed him.

The feeling of missing him was a damnable sensation, really. It left her feeling sick to her stomach and was inconsolable, unless she distracted herself enough to pull away from those thoughts. Finding a viable distraction was difficult, but she had at least one that could take her mind away from missing him for a minuscule moment- the postcards.

Her hand instinctively reached for the postcard in her bag and she felt a small spark of joy as she touched the small, glossy paper. It was a bright white postcard with an airmail patterned border, sporting the words, "Bonjour de Paris!". The postcard contained no personal message (nor a return address) and the only thing that had been written on it was the address, "Sherrinford Holmes, 18 Hanson Street, London W1W 6UE, England." She had bought it from the gift shop before she left and planned on sending it to him, like she usually did.

Alexa had made it into a small tradition, sending postcards to him whenever she could. She always handled them with care, making a point to wipe them down before she sent them. Alexa was also careful dropping them off in places where she had not made a kill or wherever she had listed in her note to Q. Alexa also never added a personal message or return address on the postcard, only writing his address on the front. She had already sent several in the past few months, starting from her first stay in Amsterdam and continuing with Monaco, Hamburg, Copenhagen, Yekaterinburg, Manhattan, Shanghai, Québec, and finally to Berlin. The last one she had sent was from Brussels and by estimate, it should have arrived in London already.

Although the postcard contained no personal message, she still sent them with a specific purpose in mind. She sent them as a way of promising him that she was still alive. Aside from that, they also gave her a promise to work towards; the day she would stop sending the cards would be when it was finally safe enough to come back home to him. It seemed like an absurd, almost childish dream to cling onto, but it was how she had managed to make it this far in the last nine months.

Alexa stared at the blank card before turning it over and setting it inside of her bag. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and pulled it out. "Hello?" she said, nestling the phone under her neck.

 _"Hello, Alexa. It's me,"_  Mycroft said.

"Oh! Hi, Mycroft. I haven't talked to you in a while," she said, letting out a nervous laugh. She knew that he could hear the worry creeping into her voice, as he had left her alone after she made her way out of London. Alexa had assumed that he would not to call her, unless something was really wrong.

"Did something happen?" Alexa said, finally cutting to the core of the matter.

 _"Well, it seems we have trouble here in London,"_  Mycroft said. Her heart seemed to quicken at all the possibilities of what could be occurring but one thing remained constant in each scenario- it could lead to her identity being discovered. There was a long pause before she finally found something to say.

"What exactly do you mean?" she replied hesitantly.

 _"Sherlock Holmes is working on your case. He's investigating your disappearance from Kodino,"_  he said simply.

The world seemed to slow down and for a moment, nothing seemed real. She felt her hands shaking and her heart pounded loudly in her chest, adding to the jumbled noises in her head. This was another setback and she could not afford to get anyone else involved, at the expense of her own safety.

"You're joking," she said, her voice sounding strained and weak. "You have to be."

 _"I don't make jokes, Alexa,"_  Mycroft said gravely. She could only nod numbly and fell silent before finally finding the right word to say.

"Tell me why," she said, sounding weary.

 _"I'm not entirely sure, but I'm assuming that it would be best for you to come and see me. I'll elaborate tomorrow,"_  he said.

"Alright, I suppose. When do you want me there?" Alexa replied. She began in her usual routine of fiddling while fretting, constantly shuffling her paper in her hands.

 _"It depends. Where are you now?"_  he asked.

"I'm on my way to a hotel in Paris, near to where I left my car. I followed a dead lead in Denmark a few days ago," she said, sounding dismayed.

 _"Alright. Drive out tomorrow morning to London. The earliest ferry from Calais leaves at 6:30 AM. It'll take you about an hour and a half to get to Dover and another hour to arrive in London. Come by my office at 9 AM. We can chat then," h_ e said. Alexa gave an affirmative response before saying her goodbyes and hanging up the phone. She stared out at the passing countryside with growing worry and let out a sigh.

It was finally time to come home, and to face the consequences that came with doing so.

* * *

Mycroft leant back in his chair for a moment and sighed. He could not allow Sherlock to work on Alexa's case. He had tried too hard to hide her away and if there was anything more in life he hated, it was wasted effort. However, Mycroft knew the extent of his brother's tenacity. Sherlock didn't turn away a case, because he saw such an action as a sign of weakness. In that sense, Mycroft would just have to try everything he could to delay him, without arousing his suspicion, of course. Events like that could most certainly be arranged, with a man of his power.

Mycroft filled out a visa before heading outside. "Anthea," he said as he walked out of the office.

She looked up from her papers and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Arrange an appointment for Alexa tomorrow at nine o'clock," he said.

"Alright," she said as she went off to go take care of it immediately. He headed back towards his office before stopping and turning to her.

"Oh, I know what you did earlier, by the way," he said, referring to the events that had occurred in the doorway.

"What thing?" she said, looking genuinely confused.

"Don't be coy, Anthea. It doesn't suit you. It was rather flattering of you, really, but I'm afraid I'm not interested," he said as he disappeared into his office. Anthea stared at him with a bewildered expression but merely shrugged it off, since she had no idea what he was talking about. Besides, it couldn't be that important anyway.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Sherlock left the office with John and they got into a cab. The two men were silent for a while before John turned to Sherlock. "That's strange. Mycroft never wishes you luck on a case," he said.

"Indeed. He's growing soft on us," Sherlock said as he stared out the window. He sat quietly, formulating his final plan and examining each option carefully. Sherlock planned to show the photograph to Q and see what his thoughts were, knowing full well that he would be able to see the connection. After all, he loved her; no one would be able to recognize her quickly but him. If Q didn't recognize her (which he highly doubted) they could use the software to see if they could find any matches to help them establish the link between Nikolova and Abbott.

The cab stopped in front of the base and Sherlock sprung out, his mind set on making it down to the Q-Branch. John lagged behind, staring at him for a moment before shaking his head and following him into the MI6 base. Sherlock pulled a pass out of the wallet he had just stolen that he gave to the guard and the two advanced into the main foyer. They headed down the tunnels and into the lower level before heading into the Q-Branch.

"Q, I need to borrow your facial recognition software," Sherlock said as he walked in. Q, who was dismantling a strange looking box, glanced up and glared at his older brother.

"Sherlock, I'm busy. Go away," he said, attempting to shoo him away with a screwdriver.

"Nope," Sherlock said, standing resolutely at his spot. The other people were beginning to stare now and Q folded his arms across his chest.

"What on earth do you even need it for?" Q said.

"I'm working on a case that is almost thirty years old and if you don't let me borrow your information, then the lead I have could be as good as gone," Sherlock said. Everyone watched as the two brothers faced off and Sherlock, evidently, was the winner.

"What is it this time?" Q said as he turned back to his laptop. He could hear John scolding Sherlock for being rude and Q glanced back at both men, awaiting an answer.

"Well?" he said.

"Sorry, Q. We're investigating the disappearance of a girl named Alexandra Nikolova," John replied apologetically. Sherlock stayed quiet, curious to see how he would react.

There was an uncomfortably thick tension in the air that seemed to appear and Q visibly stiffened at the name Alexandra. Sherlock handed the photograph and binder to Q and he inspected them carefully. "This case is basically dead, Sherlock. Why are you even trying?" he said as he plugged in the jump drive.

"Look at her features," Sherlock said as he pointed to the picture on the projector. Q took a closer look at it and his blood ran cold as soon as he saw it. His pulse quickened slightly and eyes narrowed in both anger and bewilderment. She had the features of his Alexa, a fact that both startled and angered him. Q did not answer Sherlock and focused on what he was doing. He opened up the facial recognition software program he had designed a while ago and uploaded the image of the little girl, watching as the status bar advance slowly. It was going through different faces collected from government files, CCTV feed, and other photographs gathered across the globe.

"Why are you here, Sherlock?" Q said in a low voice that was barely audible.

"I needed your software and your opinion, so coming here would naturally kill two birds with one stone. It seemed like the most efficient way to do things," he replied. "Speaking of which, I'm sure you know who she looks like."

"Sherlock..." John said, in a warning tone. He knew that this could not end well and he didn't want them to fight. John could see Q's expression darkening and Q had to fight himself from saying Alexandra Abbott instantaneously. Instead, he decided not to take the bait and chose to give Sherlock a vague answer.

"I'm not sure," he said with a shrug.

"Of course you're sure. You know who I'm talking about and this little girl resembles her, Q. And could it be a coincidence that they have the same name-" Sherlock began.

"I don't know what to tell you, Sherlock," Q said sharply, cutting him off abruptly. Sherlock fell silent and Q glared at him while folding his arms across his chest. He didn't want to talk anymore about this subject and was willing to do whatever it took to shut Sherlock up.

"This is at least going to take a day or two, Sherlock. You do realize that, right?" Q said, attempting to sound calm.

"Of course I did. I'll leave the jump drive here and wait for you to come up with something," Sherlock said as he took the binder. He decided to leave Q alone now, given that he did not want to kill any interest that Q could have for the case. Q nodded in response, satisfied with the fact that the topic of Alexa had been averted somewhat.

"I'll call you if I find anything, but I might be coming in a little late tomorrow," he said as he glanced at his laptop momentarily.

"Something going on?" John asked as he took the binder from Sherlock to put a photograph back in its page.

"Oh, I'm meeting with Mycroft again," Q said, leaning against the desk.

"Ah, another one of his brotherly chats, I assume? They're brief and essentially quite pointless," Sherlock said as he headed towards the door.

"At least he's actually trying this time, Sherlock," Q muttered as he picked up his screwdriver again to work on his machine. They said goodbye and Q stared up at the photograph before returning to his work once more. He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible about his older brother's antics. Q could honestly not deny that he was interested, but he was undoubtedly unsure of even proceeding with this investigation.

What could he be getting himself into?


	18. Chapter 17

_You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it._

_**-Albus Dumbledore** _

* * *

_**(October 21, 2013- 9:07 AM)** _

Alexa had not planned on being here, not in the least.

She fidgeted nervously in her seat at Mycroft's office and looked around the room. It was sparsely adorned with plants and a print of an art nouveau painting on the wall. She stared at the picture on the wall, noting how impersonal it was and how its seemingly anonymous figures seemed to convey that of the whole office. It felt cold and detached and the space felt alien to her, like she was treading in unknown territory. The office was constricting to be in and Alexa resorted to staring at herself in the mirror across from her to calm herself down and inspected her new features carefully.

She had been cautious in her travel to London and took precautions to remain undetected. Alexa was now staying at the safe house in Islington and avoided making any hotel reservations to cover up her tracks. She took great care to change her appearance to the best of her ability. When she had left this city eleven months ago, her hair was blonde and now that she had come back, she had decided to dye her hair to a hue of brown that was closer to her natural hair colour, save for the fact that it was one or two shades lighter and her eyes were now a muted green. She swung her legs nervously, up and down, before she was led inside to Mycroft's office. Alexa stood up and shut the door behind her.

"Hi," Alexa said, smiling hesitantly.

"It's good to see you, Alexa," he said as he shook her hand.

"It's good to see you too," she said as she sat down and took off her coat and scarf.

"You look like you're doing alright," he commented politely as he took a seat behind his desk. She merely let out a soft laugh at his comment and shook her head.

"Honestly, I'm everything but," she said. Mycroft had noted that she had lost a considerable amount of weight and when she would look away, she would look as if she was weary of the world and all of the bullshit that came with it. It seemed like she was constantly fighting to uphold her cheerful demeanor.

She had several new scars that covered her body and they were hard to ignore. There was a long white line on her right forearm and several lines of different lengths and sizes crisscrossed sporadically across her hands and arms. He was willing to bet that there were some on her legs as well. Alexa had taken off her scarf to show her most prominent scar. It was at the base of her neck, near her collarbone. It was a short and jagged white line that had faded to a dull white, but looked painful nonetheless. It looked as if she had been training, preparing for the worst and also in quite a bit of trouble. Despite her physical advancements, however, she did not appear to have grown stronger emotionally. She seemed more fragile, like she held a shattering world in her hands that could crumble if she was not careful.

"Well, at least you're not dead," he pointed out.

"I guess so," she shrugged.

"I haven't heard much from you ever since you left. How's life?" Mycroft asked.

"Terrible," Alexa said instantaneously, leaning back into the chair.

"How so?"

"Well, when I left London, I had a plan that I thought was definite. I was supposed to go to my home in Kodino. But, nothing went according to plan and I found myself chasing after the Agency," she said. There was a concerned look on Mycroft's face and he leaned against his desk, staring at her intently.

"Alexa, they're not supposed to know that you're alive. Why did you pursue them?" Mycroft said sternly.

"I went after them because I wanted to know who I was up against. I found that four of the eight members have died from old age and illnesses and the remaining are individuals who disappeared from the Russian government and have established a considerable influence in the Russian underground. They have apparently have ties to crime syndicates and the government, which make them hard to catch. I chased them around Europe with leads I found, but they've all evaded me," she said, letting out a sigh.

"Have you been attacked by the Agency in the last nine months?" he asked.

"No," she said, with a shake of her head. "I mean, I've gotten into trouble here and there, but they had nothing to do-"

Mycroft scoffed at her words and shook his head. "Oh, please. You look like you've gotten into plenty of trouble," he said.

"Well, I can't argue with that. But anyway, I did whatever I could to get the information about the remaining members of the Agency and as you can see, it spiraled into a big mess. I even have a chain of assassinations that the police are investigating," she said, motioning to her scars.

"I see. Does the Agency know you're alive?" Mycroft said.

"I doubt it," Alexa said, shaking her head. "All I left were the assassinations, and even those are too sporadic to be connected by them."

"Well, the Agency might not realize that you're alive, but Sherlock might," he replied. Her eyes darkened and she shifted uncomfortably in the chair.

"Why is he working on my case?" Alexa said.

"I'm not sure. He came into my office and showed me a photograph of you as a child, insisting that I let him borrow a facial recognition programme," Mycroft said.

"What did you say to him?"

"I told him I couldn't help him. I kicked him out of the office and I believe he went to go see Q afterwards," he replied, sipping at his tea.

"Q is in on this too?" Alexa said, looking utterly shocked.

"Oh, yes. He's the main reason why I called you here," Mycroft said.

"I can't involve either of them in this! They could die!" Alexa exclaimed. She fiddled nervously with her hands and Mycroft could see the fear in her eyes.

"Their lives could be jeopardy because of me. What if the Agency comes for them?" she said fearfully.

"All of the efforts we prepared would be put to waste," Mycroft muttered.

"Can't you tell him to lay off, to quit working on the case?" Alexa said.

"Alexa, I'm afraid it's impossible to get Sherlock Holmes to stop working on one of his cases. I've tested it myself," Mycroft stated.

"Well, we can't let him go on with this. We need to tell him to back off," Alexa insisted.

"And how would you go about doing that?" Mycroft said. She was silent for a moment and she glanced steadily at the window.

"Maybe we could infiltrate the facial recognition software with lines of malicious code to keep it from running properly," she suggested.

"It's a good start, but it has a flaw. M launched a new security mandate because of the Prime Minister and forced everyone to change to a new passkey system. The new system requires everyone to change their password once every 90 days. I've lost track of the massive amount of passwords they keep and I'm not quite sure what Q's would be since they have a new system and he probably changes it even more frequently than that. We would have no way to get to that software, much less the server unless we actually sit down and make a conscious effort to break in," he replied.

"I could do that, but it wouldn't be easy at all," Alexa said thoughtfully. "Q's an intelligent man. He's far smarter than I am. In turn, beating him at his own game and going by undetected is suicide. So what else could we do and where would we even get the materials to do it?"

"Alexa, as long as you come up with a plausible solution, I will provide the materials we need to close this case. It's one of the last things I can do to help you. Other than that, there's nothing else I can do," Mycroft said. He leaned forward and set his elbows on the desk, looking up at her with a serious expression. "Now, think. How else do you want to attack this problem?"

"Maybe we don't have to go through the Q-Branch. What if we bribe Sherlock?" she said thoughtfully.

"It's hard to bribe Sherlock, unless he sees it as beneficial to his interests. Hardly anyone knows what goes on in his mind, so we have no basis for the bargain," Mycroft said. Alexa could only nod weakly in response at realizing that they were screwed. She stood up quietly and turned to face Mycroft.

"I don't know what to do, Mycroft," she said, her eyes hollow.

"Well, we have to try something, anything," he said.

"Don't you see? There is nothing we can do!" she cried, pacing nervously around the room. Alexa felt sick to her stomach, as if she were ready to collapse.

"Well, there is one thing," Mycroft said quietly. She stopped mid-step and stared at him.

"What?" Alexa said uncertainly.

"You know what it is, Alexa. I'm sure you do," Mycroft said with a sigh.

"I..." she said, her voice trailing off. Alexa has a feeling that she did know what he was trying to say and she felt her heart sinking slowly in her chest at the thought.

"This is a tough situation. As much as I hate wasted effort, we must accept it. There really isn't much you can do except tell him that you're alive," he said. The air whooshed out of her lungs and she found herself feeling panicked at the very thought. The idea had crossed her mind a few times and she had denied it, out of fear.

"So, what, I tell him that I lied to him? That the months he spent mourning were all for nothing? Mycroft, he'll hate me for the rest of his life! Besides, even if I do tell them, what would that accomplish?" she exclaimed.

"If you tell Sherlock and Q that you're alive, they'll back off the case. If they back off, their findings won't arouse the suspicion of the Agency and it will keep them safe," he said calmly.

"But if he associates with me at all, they'll go after him for sure. You know that," she said.

"The Agency doesn't know you're alive right now, which gives you the upper hand. The key here is to let Q, Sherlock, and possibly M know you're alive so they can help you, all without arousing the suspicion of the Agency. You may have to assume another one of your identities to make this operation effective," he said.

"What if they don't help me, Mycroft? There's a high chance Q will hate me after he finds out that I lied. Maybe I should just do this alone," Alexa said softly. There was a different kind of fear in her eyes now, one that came from the fear of rejection. He stood up from his chair and approached Alexa.

"This is a dangerous game you're playing, and you can't do it alone. Not anymore. The scars on your body prove that," he said in a low voice. Mycroft put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sure they'll help you, Alexa. You just have to tell them what happened. You can't hide forever," he said. She was quiet for a long time and she let out a small sigh.

"I...I'll think about it," Alexa said as she headed to the door. Mycroft could see that she was afraid of being "alive" again and he nodded in response.

"Alright. Tell me when you've made your decision. In the meantime, I had some files to give you, so wait out here until Anthea gives you the copies," he said as he led her outside.

Alexa nodded at him and took her things before stepping into the foyer. She waited quietly in the plush red chairs in the lounge, wondering what files Anthea would give her. Within minutes, the young secretary emerged from the back of her desk and handed her a folder.

"Here you are. I believe that's all he needed to give you," she said.

"Thank you," Alexa said, taking the files in her arms. She said a quick goodbye and walked out the door, ready to face the day.

Alexa paused for a moment at the door of 5 Downing Street to look around. The whole street was quiet, yet heavily guarded. It was curious to think that the Prime Minister's office was right next to Mycroft's, yet Mycroft's position was higher than his.

She slowly began to walk, but a chill settled in her veins and her heart nearly stopped as she saw a man rounding the corner and walking towards her. Alexa clutched the files to her chest and looked around, trying to gain a better footing on her situation. This was a terrible spot to be in; she didn't want to make it obvious that she had come from Mycroft's office, but she wanted to say something to Q that would give him the hint that she was alive and here in London while protecting Mycroft's position in the process.

As he approached her, she glanced down at the files in her folder. "Excuse me," Alexa said to Q as he passed by, her Russian accent showing more than usual. "Maybe you can answer my question."

"I reckon I couldn't. Pardon me," he said bluntly as he tried to pass by. Her initial expression of terror had intrigued him at first, but his curiosity had quickly disappeared. Q was nearly late, and he didn't want to risk the possibility of being ridiculed by Mycroft for being late.

"Look, it's a fairly simple question," Alexa said, sounding miffed.

"Oh, really? There isn't much room for simple questions in one of the most heavily guarded streets in Britain. You have to know what you're doing, why you're here, and who to see. So, what's your story?" he said dryly.

"I'm an envoy from Russia, and I need to know where the Prime Minister's office is," she said carefully, laying down her first hint.

"What kind of envoy wouldn't know where the Prime Minister's office is? I'm sure they would give you directions, or at least someone in his office to direct you," Q said, looking nonplussed.

"They didn't," Alexa said humorlessly. Q blinked in surprise, and he wondered why no one had at least given her an address.

As he stood there silently, Alexa examined the toll the last nine months had taken on him, as he seemed thinner and more gaunt. Although he still looked as attractive as he had been before, he looked weary. To be honest, he looked about as bad as she did. A pang of guilt struck her, but she was someone else right now. Alexa couldn't touch him or say anything that would endanger Mycroft's position.

"Follow me," he sighed, leading her down the sidewalk. He shoved his hands in his pockets and watched her carefully, noting how she seemed unsettled by his presence. She had the nervous tick of wringing her hands and he realized that he had found something, or rather someone, that reminded him of Alexa and it wasn't even noon yet.

"You are...?" he said as they approached door 10. She seemed rather distant and it took a moment for her to snap back to life. She was also visibly tense, as she had just talked about him a few minutes ago. Nonetheless, she tried to keep her cool and gave him a strained smile.

"I'm Natasha Simon. And you?" she said. Alexa gave him the English equivalent of her current alias, Natasha Semyonova, since there was a possibility that he could find this alias in the facial recognition search. It hid her identity in plain sight, something she quite liked.

"Call me Q," he said, shaking her hand politely as they stopped in front of door 10. "His office is in there."

"Thank you," Alexa mumbled, giving him a small smile. He merely nodded and turned around to head into the office, disregarding the incident as quickly as it had happened.

He entered the office and greeted Mycroft as soon as he walked in. "Morning," he said politely.

"Ah, Q. Your punctuality is truly unparalleled. It's a refreshing change from Sherlock's unexpected visits," Mycroft said coolly.

"It's one of my better traits," he said as he took off his coat.

"Well then, shall we get started?" Mycroft said as he stepped aside.

"I suppose," he replied. Q headed inside and took a seat at the leather chairs while Mycroft stayed back momentarily to speak with his assistant. "Anthea," he said.

"Yes, sir?" she said, glancing up from her work.

"My wallet has gone missing. Please check around the office to see if I left it somewhere," he said before retreating back into his office. She nodded affirmatively and he headed inside to talk with Q.

"What are we talking about today?" Q said as he looked at his eldest brother.

"The usual, I suppose. How are you?" Mycroft said.

"Fine. Work is keeping me busy," Q replied shortly.

"Anything interesting happen to you?" he asked. Mycroft wanted to know how far they had gotten in Alexa's case and what Q thought about it.

"Well, Sherlock came in yesterday. He showed me his case," he replied.

"And?"

Q hesitated slightly before answering him. He didn't want to sound pathetic by pining after something he could never have and decided not to say it. "Nothing," he replied, his eyes hardening.

"Q, it doesn't matter. I'm not judging you," Mycroft said.

"Right. You're always the impartiality," Q muttered.

"Is there a problem with that?" he replied, quirking an eyebrow.

Q shook his head and looked back up at his brother. "He gave me a photograph of a girl. She was young, but she did resemble Alexa," he said quietly.

"How so?" Mycroft said, leaning forward slightly.

"Same eyes, same generic facial structure. She even had the same first name, for god's sake," he said, letting out a mirthless laugh. Mycroft stayed silent, formulating something to say that wouldn't let too much slip.

"What do you think of it, Q?" he finally said.

"What am I supposed to think about it?" Q replied.

"Oh, come on. Be completely honest. What do you think about Sherlock's case?"

Q hesitated for a moment and looked down at his hands. "Well, there is a possibility that Alexandra Nikolova and Alexandra Abbott are connected. It's fairly plausible, but..." he said, his voice trailing off.

"But?"

"I'm not sure, Mycroft," Q said, with a heavy sigh. "I don't want to believe it's her but something tells me it is."

"Well, what exactly do you want to get out of this case?" he asked, leaning forward.

"Nothing, really. I just want to give Sherlock his information and send him on his way. I honestly just want this all to end. I'm tired of wondering what happened to her and I want to let her go, but I just can't seem to let her go," he said, looking frustrated.

"You won't be able to let her go. She is a part of your life now, as you have become too involved," Mycroft said. Q shifted uncomfortably in his chair, knowing that he was right, and chose to remain silent. His gaze shifted from his hands and up to Mycroft.

"I'm fairly certain I gave you that software. Why did you still send him to me?" Q asked, quickly changing the subject. He didn't want to talk about Alexa anymore and was willing to do anything to avoid the subject.

"I didn't actually send him to you when we talked. To be honest, I didn't anticipate him to actually go ask you. I would have helped him but I had a meeting with the PM, so I couldn't really help him," he replied smoothly.

"Meddling with the country's affairs again, Mycroft?"

"I'm afraid so. He's been accused of weapons dealing by Iran. Quite troublesome, really," Mycroft said as he stood up.

"Well, they've got the wrong country. The Americans dominate the arms dealing business," Q muttered as he stood up. "The MI6 can attest to that."

"I'll look into it," Mycroft said as he shook Q's hand. "It was good to see you, Q. You seem fine,"

"I'm doing alright, for the most part. Since you're my makeshift psychologist, tell that to mum, will you?" Q said, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"Oh, Q. No need to be caustic," Mycroft sighed. "Mother had no part in this. Is it so hard for you to believe that I actually care?"

Q bit back another snarky comment and merely put his hands in his pockets, staring at the ground. Mycroft was right and it wasn't exactly fair for him to act like this. Mycroft hadn't been as bad as he had thought and had actually been a surprisingly good source of support after Alexa's suicide. For the most part, he was actually a fairly decent older brother. "Sorry," he muttered. Q did not apologize much, but this was one of the moments where he saw that he needed to. He put on his coat and glanced back at Mycroft. "See you soon," he said.

"Goodbye, Q," Mycroft said, allowing himself to give his youngest brother a small smile. Q walked out of the office and into the streets, pushing his collar up against the wind, and headed to work.

He took the Tube and walked into the Q-Branch, greeting everyone before going back to work. He opened up his current tasks and the facial recognition programme, which was about 86% finished. Q decidedly made himself a cup of tea and began working once more on his newest theory. He was nearing completion and if his algorithms were correct, it would prove that entanglement also applied to bits and become a breakthrough in security software development.

However, he found his train of thought straying away from his current research. He couldn't stop thinking of Sherlock's case and the girl in the photograph. It was said that eyes were a person's most distinguishable feature and he swore that the eyes he saw on the little girl were the same as Alexa's. However, he could not base his suspicions solely on her eye structure and facial structure, along with the coincidence that she and the girl shared the same first name. In turn, Q found that he doubted himself. Was it all real or was he simply deluding himself into thinking that it was her?

Q attempted continue working, all while reminding himself that his intentions were just to provide Sherlock with his information. Providing the necessary tools to complete a mission was a Quartermarter's job, after all. However, the harder he tried to forget about the case, the harder it was to focus. He looked back at his laptop to check on the facial recognition software's progress and he stopped to see what the programme had come up with so far. It was only 93% finished, but one name in particular caught his eye. The name left him with a cold feeling and he pulled out his phone to call Sherlock.

"Sherlock? The software's come up with a few names. I think you might want to see them."

* * *

Sherlock sat at his chair inside his flat and felt a growing feeling of excitement within himself as he heard those words. He sprung out of his seat and almost knocked a cup of tea out of Mary's hands, who had come back with tea from the kitchen for their daily visit. John gave him an odd look before following after him. Sherlock stood up and slipped his coat on. "I'm coming. Give me a moment," he said.

Sherlock hung up and searched the living room for his scarf. Mary set the tray down and stared at him momentarily, wondering what the fuss was all about. She could feel the aura of excitement emanating from Sherlock and she folded her arms across her chest. "What's gotten into you, Sherlock?" she said.

"I have a lead on a thirty year old case, Mary," he said as he put on his scarf.

"Still the one with the assassin?" she asked.

"Precisely. Looks like we'll finally get somewhere," Sherlock said gleefully.

"You're so excited that it's indecent," she muttered.

"To hell with decency, Mary!" he shouted as he left the flat. John merely rolled his eyes and followed Sherlock outside.

"Did Q tell us who the leads were?" John said as they headed off to the MI6 headquarters.

"Nope. But remember, this is a thirty year old case. We're bound to find something interesting," he said. They were silent for the duration of the trip and John could practically hear the gears in Sherlock's head whirring as he was thinking of all the possible outcomes of this breakthrough. John then followed Sherlock closely into the tunnels and to the Q-Branch for the second time that week.

"Sorry, Q. We got stuck in traffic," John said as they walked in.

"Not a problem. Good morning to you both, by the way," Q said as he took a sip of his tea. Sherlock merely nodded at him and John gave him a kind smile. He had become quite close with these two men for the past nine months and Q frequently visited Sherlock, especially when he was feeling sad about Alexa. During his visits, Sherlock would provide the blunt and analytical comments while John provided the caring, more human aspect of it. It was a funny mixture, but it was usually what he needed to feel a bit better.

"What do you have for me?" Sherlock said.

"The scan isn't quite finished yet but this name in particular caught my eye," Q said as he showed Sherlock the file on Alexa. Sherlock's eyes lit up and he found himself smirking.

"Alexandra Abbott," Sherlock said, with a hint of glee in his voice. "There's our link."

Q could hear the entire room go silent and everyone in the room was watching him carefully, knowing that talking about Alexa in general was a big faux pas. He decidedly ignored them and tried to think about what this all could mean when his thoughts were interrupted by John.

"Well, would you look at that? They really do match up after all," John said. "Now, what do we do about it?"

"Well, we can't look at the other women. It's not quite done yet. So, let's focus on Alexa then; disregarding the other women the scan came up with, of course," Sherlock said as he examined Alexa's file.

"But wait, isn't this all kind of pointless, Sherlock? I mean, she's kind of dead and all..." John said, his voice trailing off.

"This can't be the end of it. There has to be far more interesting things to uncover," Sherlock insisted.

"She died nine months ago. That's the end of it, Sherlock," Q said flatly.

"There were odd circumstances around her death. She never told anyone how she ended up in London, exactly what she had done before, or what the Agency wanted with her. I think it's about time we find out her secrets, isn't it Q?" Sherlock said.

"No," Q said firmly. "Sherlock, stop. She's dead and that's that. I don't care anymore."

"You do," both men chimed in. Q glared at both of them and folded his arms across his chest defiantly.

"No, I don't," he said, his tone rising considerably.

"Oh, come on. I've never seen you care more about anyone else, Q. Surely you've wondered why she died?" he said.

"She did it for all of the people she cared about," he said sharply. His temper was being tested and he could feel himself growing angrier and angrier at his brother.

"But Q, haven't you ever thought about the circumstances surrounding her suicide-" Sherlock began. Q almost seemed to snap at this point and he glared at his brother.

"Of course I have! I've never spent more time in my life missing someone than I have with her! But you know what? I've had enough of thinking, mourning, and worrying about what really happened to her and I just want it to end. I don't care anymore, nor do I want to!" he snapped, slamming his hand down against the desk.

The room fell completely silent and after a tense moment, Q took a deep breath before glancing back up at Sherlock. "Look, my primary job as Quartermaster is to provide the necessary tools to help an agent complete a mission. Technically, you're still an agent so I am obligated to help you. However, that's all I can and will do for you. Once you get the information you need, I won't involve myself in this case anymore," he said firmly, as if it were an attempt to make himself believe that this was the truth.

"But you do care about her," Sherlock said, putting a hand on Q's shoulder. "It's almost as if you care too much, with the pain you've put on yourself. If she really meant nothing to you, you would have forgotten about her and moved on already."

"Now, you and I both know that Alexa is something else entirely. She's clever, if she's made it this far in life and her suicide can't just be the end of it. There has to be something more to her and we need to find out what she's hiding," he said.

"But I don't need to know-" Q lied.

"You and I both know that's a lie. I'm your brother and I know what you're like, Q. You're a Holmes. You need answers. You crave stability and reason, which is why you have to see this case to the bitter end. Nothing stops at hard facts and you need to continue giving me your input, even after we have the basic information needed because it could help us see what really happened to her. Now, are you in or not?" Sherlock said.

Q did not say anything for a long time and John stood quietly next to Sherlock, wondering if Sherlock had pushed him too far. Q, on the other hand, knew that his brother was right and he let out a sigh, knowing that this was the truth. He wanted answers and whether he liked it or not, the only way to get them was to dig deeper into the case.

"When do we start?" Q said. There was a renewed strength in Q's eyes and Sherlock knew that he had done the right thing. Q would now be fully invested in this case and nothing could stop them from uncovering the truth now.

"Right now. The first thing I need is her book, the thing she left you," Sherlock said. He glanced at Q and looked at him sternly. "Don't tell me you burnt it or something."

Q opened the drawer in his desk, pulling out the book and the note. "I've done the exact opposite. I looked at it once, during her last visit to the Q-Branch and I haven't touched it since. I've only skimmed through it, so I don't actually know what to expect," he admitted.

"Well, there's always a first time for everything," Sherlock muttered. He flipped to the front cover and noted the numbers c2, c1, c3, c1, c3, c1. The three of them automatically assumed that these were chapter numbers and they all found it odd that she decided to repeatedly list the chapter numbers. On top of that, the word "banana" seemed to be randomly inscribed in the book and left them a bit puzzled. Sherlock wordlessly closed the book and stared at the paper Q was holding. Both men were trying to figure out what she was attempting to tell them but they were all coming up blank at the moment.

"Where did that paper come from?" Sherlock said.

"Someone left it on her grave. I never figured out who it was. I was too emotionally compromised to do so," Q said.

"Is there a possibility that the person who left the note on her grave and Alexa aren't even related? Maybe she could have had someone drop it off for Q," John asked.

"There is that possibility. Either that or she is alive and she left something for Q," Sherlock mused.

"But Sherlock, I saw her jump in front of that train myself. You and Dr. Hooper even examined her corpse and confirmed her dead," Q interjected.

"I'm starting to reconsider it. I don't know how she could have faked her death but it's just too easy if she died like that. There has to be something more. Now, what could she have left for you to find?" Sherlock said.

"She's left him a message and a word key with it, obviously. But for what?" John pointed out. Q's eyes seemed to light up when John mentioned that fact and he drummed his fingers against the desk.

"Word key..." he muttered quietly to himself. He thinking about something important but his train of thought was hazy and rather erratic. After several minutes, his eyes lit up and he looked down at the page.

"It's a cipher," he said conclusively.

"Well, good. Now, which one is it?" Sherlock said. Q paused and bit his lip, before an irritated expression made its way onto his face. They both heard the door open from behind them but neither of the men paid any mind to it.

"I have no idea. Not off the top of my head, anyway. It's there somewhere," he replied.

"I heard one of the Holmes brothers was here today. I suppose it wasn't the one I was thinking of," the voice said behind them. They both turned around to find M in their midst and Sherlock nodded at him.

"I'm borrowing my brother for a moment," he said.

"What happened to your pass?" he said.

"I lost it a few mornings ago to a Petri dish full of hydrochloric acid, potassium chloride, and sodium chloride. In hindsight, it probably wasn't a good choice to use that card," Sherlock said.

"How did you get in, then?" M said.

"I nicked Mycroft's out of his wallet yesterday," he said casually. M looked surprised for a moment but merely rolled his eyes, upon remembering that this was Sherlock he was talking to, after all. It wasn't past his morals to do something like this.

"What are you doing here?" M said curiously.

"Q helped me find a breakthrough in my case," he replied. M glanced at the files and his eyes narrowed as soon as he saw the name Alexandra Abbott on the monitor.

"Why are you two working on this?" he asked as he picked up the files.

"I was approached by the grandmother of Alexandra Nikolova and she showed me a photograph of a girl that resembled Alexandra Abbott. I had my suspicions, but I had Q put it through the facial recognition software he created just in case. He's come up with a connection between the two so it looks like there's more to Alexandra Abbott's case than we thought," Sherlock said.

"There was something different about her that none of us could place," M muttered. "How far have you gotten?"

"Er, quite a bit, actually. She's left Q a coded message," John said as he showed him the paper. M stared at it for a moment and put it down.

"Are you sure you know what you're getting into?" M asked.

"Honestly, I have no idea. Sherlock talked me into it," Q said, with a casual shrug of his shoulders. M nodded and fell silent momentarily before looking back up at the three of them.

"Gentlemen, I don't think it would be best to delve into Alexa's past. Alexa's always been one of those enigmatic types and coupled with her dubious fighting skills and questionable origins, who knows what you could find?" M said.

"M, we can't just abandon this case. We have to find out the truth about who she really is. From there, we can find out what the Agency is and why she killed herself over them," Sherlock protested.

"Your lives could be in danger because of this. I can't lose a good agent and his partner, along with a talented Quartermaster," M replied sternly.

"We can't abandon this case because Alexandra has so many secrets that we don't know about that we need to find out," Sherlock argued.

"Like what, Sherlock? What does it matter, anyway? She died nine months ago," he pointed out.

"There's a possibility that she's alive," John piped up.

"What? Have you all gone mad?" M exclaimed, looking shocked. "She jumped in front of a train, Sherlock. What could possibly make you think differently?"

"Her message," Q said softly.

"Well, that doesn't necessarily mean she could be aliv-" M began.

"Nine months ago, any hope that she was alive was more or less gone. I didn't want to care or feel anymore and I wanted it all to end. But with what Sherlock told me earlier today, I'm beginning to realize that maybe it isn't time to let her go yet and that she's out there somewhere. Think about it. Alexa's a clever woman. Like he said, her life can't end here, if she's made it to the age of twenty-eight. Now, if we decode the message and solve the case, it could finally give me the answers I need and I'll finally understand why she did all of this. It could tell me if she's alive or not, and to know that (despite the consequences that it may bring) is a risk I'm willing to take," he said.

"Think about the consequences, Q. Are you sure you want to figure out what she was hiding? She was obviously involved in something more dangerous than we know and she had enemies, the Agency. This could be your life on the line," M said.

"Well, she obviously made enemies while she was alive and she died trying to protect all of us, not just me, from them. We can't abandon this case because those dangers still exist right now and if we eliminate them, her efforts wouldn't be in vain. It's the least we can do for her and I'll be damned if we stand around and do nothing," Q said resolutely.

His willingness to find answers and his true affection for Alexa was reflected in his response and it was here that everyone realized that the love he had for Alexa was different from his first girlfriend. This love he had for her was different from his first girlfriend and he wanted to make things right to justify her death, even though she had "died" and her affairs were not necessarily his problem. In a way, it was Q's way of seeking revenge for Alexa's death and it would fulfill his desire for things to be right again.

This rare display of emotion caught everyone off guard and Sherlock found himself smiling slightly at his younger brother's tenacity, a rather Holmesian quality that ran through their blood. Even M knew he would not be able to dissuade Q from working on this case and he found himself impressed by Q's willingness to find the truth.

However, he found himself smiling sadly and merely shook his head at Q because he realized that if the reason why Alexa had hidden her true identity was that she was a criminal of some sort, then it would be terrible to see how he would react. His high regard for her (along with his love) would probably be destroyed and he could almost guess that he would become bitter because of this. Nonetheless, he found himself (along with everyone else in the room) hoping for the best.

"I won't stop you but I just...want you to be cautious, alright? You don't know exactly what trouble this could bring and the last thing I want is to have to write your obituary," he muttered.

Q, knowing that M wasn't against him working with Sherlock, nodded with a small smile on his face and thanked him quietly. "I'll make sure to be cautious in proceeding with the case," he said.

"We'll keep an eye on him," Sherlock said offhandedly. "Anyway, Q, when will you have that message deciphered?"

"I'm not sure," he said with a shrug.

"Well, I'm sure you could get it, since she intended it for you," John pointed out.

"I suppose you're right. I'll see what I can come up with tonight so come back tomorrow to check if I have anything," he said as he stared at the book with curiosity.

"Alright, that sounds good. Come along, John. We have new experiments in the morgue," Sherlock said with a tinge of glee in his voice.

"Ah! You have to stop by the records department first. They've made new passes for both of you..." M said as the three of them headed out the door. Q looked at their retreating figures and he went back to his work. He wanted to figure out what Alexa had left for him, who the woman at Alexa's funeral was, and why she was doing all of this. That spark of hope that he thought he had exterminated long ago had been rekindled and his analytical mind sought to find an answer to this puzzle.

Q, meanwhile, was forced to go back to working on his theorem but he found his mind constantly wandering back to thoughts of Alexa's message. He thought about the cryptography and what cipher she could have used, but was unable to figure out which one it was.

When he went home that evening, he was still trying to figure out what she was trying to say to him. He had not come up with much and when he reached the corner of his street, he opened the door to the mailbox and reached in. Q stopped and looked down at his hands, staring at the small letter. He picked it up and flipped it over, wondering what it was.

It was a small postcard that sported bright and flowery letters saying, "Greetings from Brussels!". His eyes flickered with recognition and he inspected it carefully, taking care to see what characteristics the postcard had. Q reached into his briefcase and pulled out eight other postcards that he had been receiving for the past nine months. Q had never figured out who these had come from, nor what purpose they served. The postcard locations varied from Monaco, Hamburg, Copenhagen, Yekaterinburg, Manhattan, Shanghai, Québec, and Berlin, but they were all sent from the same place they were bought in. Q inspected the letters, noting that the style of writing was exactly the same as the rest. That meant that one person was sending these to him and although he could distinguish the number of senders, the gender of the sender was unidentifiable. In that sense, one final question remained in his mind:

Who could be sending him these and why?

After a few moments of contemplation, he let out a sigh and cleared away the postcards. This was a mystery for another day. Right now, he had Alexa's message to decode. Q grabbed the postcards and shut the flap, before turning away towards the street.

A shot rang out through the darkness, making a loud ping off the mailbox on the corner. Q stared at the bullet briefly, knowing that it could've hit him in the chest. He immediately ducked down and laid low behind the car. Q fumbled for his phone and called the emergency services line, hastily stating his name, address, and situation. Bullets continued to fly as he spoke, hitting the car's metal chassis in front of him. He opened his briefcase and saw his handprint pistol inside and wondered if he should take the chance and fire back.

Q stayed low and determined the position of the sniper by using the reflection in a shop window behind him. He caught a vague glimpse of the man's features and took careful notice of his shock of blonde hair and muscular build. Q could see a dark mark on his face that resembled a tattoo, but the man turned away once more. Q waited for a small ceasefire before making a shot, hoping that it would at least hit something. Q heard the man yell out in pain and ducked as another bullet came flying towards him.

And that was the last. It was as if something had stopped the assassin from firing again and he prepared to make his getaway. Simultaneously, Q heard a siren in the distance, the shrill sound cutting through the still of the evening air. He glanced up in the shop mirror to see where the sniper had gone but was forced to scramble back as the glass exploded in front of him. The sirens grew louder now and he emerged from his spot tentatively, only to spot the glint of the sniper's gun in the lamplight. The man (or so it appeared) was making a hasty retreat and was jumping from whichever rooftop he could reach from his position, which wasn't a hard feat, given the closeness of the townhouses around him.

As he stood there, Q did not know what to say, nor what to feel. Although there had been an attack made on his life, he found that he could not speak. He merely answered the police officer's questions with a simple nod or shake of the head. His thoughts were jumbled and his spirit was shaken, leaving progress in his thought process to flounder and stagnate. Q didn't even seem to respond as they dropped him off at his home.

As he stood in the doorway, he began to recover from his initial shock and arrived at the stark realization that he could have been killed. The issue he had to deal with now was figuring out why. Was it due to his occupation? Possibly. He calculated a 33% chance that it was, given that he was the Quartermaster of the MI6 and the man who could obtain government secrets before his first Earl Grey of the day. In stark contrast to other variables, however, those odds seemed unlikely. The most probable reason why he was being targeted led back to the one woman that he could not seem to forget- Alexa.

As he walked to his chair and took a seat, the though occurred to him that he was most likely being targeted for delving into her case. Such an attack only proved to further his suspicion that there was something (or rather, someone) dangerous in her life that was out to eliminate everyone she had become close with. In that sense, she had lied to him and he had missed her ruse, which lay right beneath his nose. It made him angry to be so foolish and and caused his mind to cloud over at the very thought of it all. Q attempted to disregard his emotions for now and breathed out a sigh to clear his mind. He had to focus on her message to see if it could enlighten his situation in any way and being angry would do nothing to help him now.

About a few hours of silent contemplation, he put his hands on his lap and sat up. Q stood up and opened a drawer at the bottom of the desk. He unearthed a worn black leather book from beneath several textbooks and opened it up. Q flipped silently through the pages filled with ciphers written in small, child-like script before setting it down on the hallway table. He could not work on it right now, given that he had left the book and note in the office. For now, he would have to wait until tomorrow.

Q ate a silent and rather uneventful dinner before going to bed. He could not help but feel excited for tomorrow. Q was unsure of what he would unearth, but it would undoubtedly give him the answers he needed. He lay awake, staring at the ceiling with thoughts racing through his head and after a while, he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.


	19. Chapter 18

_Oh, what a tangled web we weave...when first we practice to deceive._

_**-Walter Scott** _

* * *

The next morning, Q quickly got out of bed and showered, before eating a quick breakfast of tea and Jammie Dodgers. The initial panic from the events that had unfolded the night before seemed to dissipate, as he was focused on decrypting the message. He grabbed his coat and his book of ciphers before heading out the door to go to work. It was only about a quarter to eight when he walked into the MI6 base but he wanted to come in early to get started on decrypting the code.

He turned on the lights and opened his computer, while grabbing the note and the quantum cryptography book. Q looked at the message for a moment and noted that it had a codeword and looked in his cipher book for anything that had a codeword. He narrowed it down to several ciphers and tested them out on a piece of paper.

After about two hours, he looked at a code with an incomplete columnar pattern. This seemed to put him on the correct path and he began looking for different ciphers with an incomplete columnar pattern. He worked tirelessly through different codes until about two, when he finally found the cipher he was looking for. Q set down his pen and pulled out his phone, dialing Sherlock's number. The dial tone went for several rings before someone finally picked up.

"Whatever you're going to say, Q, make it quick. I am currently elbow deep in formaldehyde," Sherlock grumbled. It had been obvious that he had been doing a potentially illegal experiment again and Q rolled his eyes.

"Sherlock, I figured it out. Get over here," he said. This obviously sparked interest in his older brother and Q heard a clatter of a metal object and the swears of a female voice on the other line, coupled with what he identified as the scolding voice of John Watson. He heard his brother apologize (which was generally a rare occasion) and Sherlock came back on the line.

"What did you find?" he asked.

"The correct cipher. You should head down here," Q said.

"I'm at Bart's. John and I should be there shortly," Sherlock said. Q hung up and he set the phone on the table, while staring at the letters on the page. It was the Myszkowski cipher, one that was simple yet generally unused. He had found the cipher by recognizing that it had a key word and a pattern of threes, which he deduced would lead to an incomplete columnar pattern. Q had not yet decoded the message and decided that it would best to wait for his brother.

After all, he had no idea what he was going to find.

Q waited for several minutes before Sherlock and John came rushing into the room. Sherlock went straight for Q but John nodded at the other members of the Q-Branch before he made his way to Q, in an effort to be polite. Sherlock made no effort to ask about the events of the night before, as he was focused on the matter at hand. "Show me," Sherlock demanded.

"It's a code; the Myszkowski cipher, in fact," Q said.

"Ah, that's right. You had a knack for ciphers when you were younger," Sherlock muttered. "Have you decoded it?"

"I got the first word, but I haven't decrypted the rest. You'll be here to see that," Q said. Sherlock watched his younger brother pull out a pen and the man began writing on a new page.

"Er, Q? What the hell is a Myszkowski cipher?" John said hesitantly, looking confused.

"The Myszkowski cipher is a code that used a codeword to help encrypt and decrypt the specified phrase. You number the letters of the codeword according to their position in the alphabet. The codeword here is banana and she marked down c2, c1, c3, c1, c3, and c1 because they were the column numbers. She must have written c in front to make us think they're a chapter number, when in fact they're columns," Q explained with a hint of excitement in his voice. Alexa had left something clever for him and he mentally berated himself for not looking at this earlier.

"What happens after that?" John said, intrigued by the world of numbers, letters, and ciphers that Q had presented. This had been his idea of spy work as a boy and today, he would finally be able to see his childhood fascination in action.

"We look at the her codeword first. It's banana, so there would be three A's as number 1, one B for number 2, and two N's for number 3. After that, we put in the letters of the note under the columns. The underscores, I'm assuming, are blank spots," Q said.

"And?" John said.

"We look at the table and follow the number pattern set by c2, c1, c3, c1, c3, and c1 to get the actual message," Q said. He followed the pattern and began writing down the letters, until he got a final result.

It had initially said: _ **IOS DJN UTA TTG TEP RLI IPZ ZGO AWR NNA AMN SWI KRA SBY SMS NKO OKD CWO NDN IOO GAT TOF RE_ EM_.**_ Now, it had been turned into various phrases.

The first nine words were cities, which were:  _ **D** **ijon, Stuttgart, Leipzig, Poznan, Warsaw, Minsk, Bryansk, Moscow, and Kodino.**_ The last four words of the message were a warning for Q that said:  _ **Don't go after me.**_

"So, she is alive," Q muttered. Relief flooded his veins as he processed this information, that she had held out for just one more miracle. However, he suddenly felt a pang of resentment at this thought, as he thought of everything she had put him through. It was a feeling that refused to leave his mind and his body, leaving him both gladdened and maddened by the message at hand. Q let out a sigh and clenched his fists once, to clear his head from any irrational thoughts.

"She left a message that only you could have the patience to decrypt. Clever girl. You picked the best one to fall in love with, didn't you?" Sherlock chuckled.

"I suppose," he replied with a casual shrug of his shoulders. A small beep came from his laptop and he opened the alert box to see what had happened.

Apparently, the scan had finished and the final results had been evaluated. Q glanced over at the screen and silently showed his laptop to Sherlock. He looked over and saw the photographs of ten different women. They all had the same general facial structure but different eye and hair colours. However, there were a few that looked different and bore defining marks.

"Oh," Sherlock said, looking a bit taken aback. He was expecting Alexandra Abbott to be the only matching result but the evidence showed otherwise. He found himself smirking and he looked at the photos again.

"Let's eliminate the outliers," Sherlock said as he listed down the names. He eliminated on the six women who he found unfitting to the profile, since they possessed natural features such as moles that did not correlate with the others. The four women that remained were Alyssa Cartieré, Veronica Ryder, Alexandra Abbott, and Natasha Semyonova.

"It seems she hasn't kept only two lives at all. She's kept four," Sherlock said.

"How could she possibly manage four identities all at once?" John said.

"You never know with Alexa. She's certainly a piece of work," Q muttered in reply.

"Well, what happens next?" John asked.

"Simple. We find her. Have you found any hotel records for any of those women, Q?" Sherlock asked.

"Not at all," he replied, with a shake of his head.

"But this directly links her with Alyssa Cartieré, Veronica Ryder, Alexandra Abbott, and Natasha Semyonova, right?" John said. Something about the last name sounded vaguely similar to something that Q had heard earlier that week.

"Say that again, John," he said, his curiosity piqued by the new finding.

"What did I say?" the man replied, looking confused.

"Repeat the last name you said. It's important," Q insisted.

"Er...Natasha Semyonova," he replied. Upon hearing the last identity, Q had realized that he had heard this name somewhere and he stood silently, as he was on the verge of remembering something important.

"Natasha...where have I heard that?" Q mumbled quietly to himself. It was on the tip of his tongue and he knew he needed something to trigger his memory. He glanced around the room and scrambled to find at least something. Q walked around the room and Sherlock followed next to him, glancing curiously at his youngest brother.

"Q, what exactly are you looking for?" he questioned.

"I'm not quite sure," Q said. He figured that the name itself was something he deemed unimportant, therefore deleting it from his mind. However, traces still remained, which told him it was tied to an event. But which? Q moved sporadically around the room and Sherlock decided to make his way back to the desk. The detective's coat brushed past the umbrella stand, which caused a black umbrella to clatter loudly to the floor. He swore and stopped in his tracks and he saw Q and John turn to face him.

"What did you break this time?" Q said warily.

"I only knocked over an umbrella, but it's all right. No one would care, unless it's Mycroft. Brolly Boy's practically married to that stupid umbrella of his. Besides George, of course," Sherlock muttered as he propped it back up.

"For God's sake, it's Greg, Sherlock," John sighed.

Q's eyes sparked to life and his thoughts now became clear, at the mention of Mycroft and umbrellas. The last Natasha he had met was on his way to Mycroft's office and it was the connection that he needed. He stared at the screen and the woman's name had a face to pin to it. "That's it! Why didn't I see it before?" he exclaimed.

"See what?" he said.

"I visited Mycroft's office yesterday, and on my way there, I directed a lost envoy to the Prime Minister's office. Her name was Natasha Simon," Q said.

"And all of this means...?" John said, looking puzzled and receiving no answers. John stood silently as both of the Holmes brothers sought to make the final connection. The room was tense and everyone seemed to be watching them closely. Finally, it was as if both of their brains had tuned into the same wavelength and they turned to each other. Sherlock paused, momentarily in order to see if Q had the same thought.

"Semyonova equals...?" he said.

"Simon. She always liked hiding things in plain sight," Q said, with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, they share the same first name. So what?" John said, looking utterly baffled.

"John, you see but you don't observe. There's a connection between them and it can't be coincidence," Sherlock said.

"Humour me, then. What is it?" he said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Semyonova is a Russian last name. The English equivalent is none other than Simon," Sherlock said with a smirk.

"There's no way we can rule this out as a coincidence. I saw that woman myself and I noticed she looked like Alexa, which wasn't a very pleasant thing to notice early in the day. To attribute to that, she had that same nervous tick of wringing her hands. She seemed unsettled by my presence and now I know why. I'm fairly certain she's the same woman," Q said.

"But why would she be visiting Downing Street, particularly the PM?" John asked.

"Who knows who she's working for? With the nature of her current situation, she really could be up to anything," Q muttered somewhat bitterly.

"Do you think you can find any recent records with her name on it for a hotel, or something?" John suggested.

"Of course not. She wouldn't stay at a hotel, for fear of jeopardizing her situation," Sherlock muttered to himself. He thought quietly for a moment and turned to Q.

"What about CCTV?" he finally said. "We could track her from there."

"That's true. Let me see if I can get good footage from the cameras in Downing Street," Q replied. He began checking the CCTV feeds of any buildings in the vicinity was able to acquire a stream of footage from a camera stationed in the area, which had a decent angle that showed the entrance of Mycroft's office doors. Q went through the footage and was able to pause at the moment Alexa came out of the office.

"There," he said.

"Go forward," Sherlock said as he stared at the image. They watched as she walked down the sidewalk and out of view. Q switched to the camera to the front gate and they watched her walk onto the sidewalk near Richmond Terrace, where she had waited and hailed a cab.

"LN58HTY," John said as he stared at the paused image. "At least that's what I think it says..."

Q zoomed in on the license plate and sharpened the image and nodded. "That's right. Now, we need to either track the cab as it goes through London or find the driver of the cab and ask him," he said.

"Taxi drivers go on schedules, don't they? There's a chance that if we ask the current driver of that car, it might not even be the same one. It might be easier to track the cab through CCTV instead," John replied.

"Tracking it is, then," Q said with a shrug as he pulled up different cameras on the screen. He slowed down the footage and followed the cab as it drove up Whitehall and through Horse Guards Avenue. Q was able to get the footage from the traffic cameras on the Victoria Embankment before the cab turned onto New Bridge Street. The car then made a turn into Farringdon Street, Rosebery Avenue, and St. John Street before finally continuing into Islington High Street and Upper Street. Q had to gather the footage from various businesses in Canonbury Square before finally using the footage from a theatre called The Tower Theatre to confirm that the cab had not gone through Canonbury Place. That meant that the only place it could have gone was Compton Road. Q pulled up the CCTV feed from Islington College London (which stood at the very end of Compton Road) and a hotel called Berliv to confirm that the cab's last destination was on Compton Road. When it exited onto St. Paul's Road several minutes later, it was evident that there was no one in the back anymore.

"She's staying somewhere on Compton Road. It's a primarily residential area, so I can't give you an exact location," Q said.

"That's not a problem. I'm sure there are nosy neighbors around that area who are more than willing to give us information," Sherlock said.

"We'll be back soon," John called as they headed out of the Q-Branch. As the two made their way out, they went to St. Bart's a few blocks away. John walked on with his hands in his pocket before he looked up at his friend.

"Do you even have a plan?" he asked.

"I'm in the process of making one. However, I'm assuming it'll be a bit more finite as we go along," Sherlock said confidently.

"We aren't doing anything illegal, are we?" John said. Sherlock merely shrugged and they walked down a flight of stairs before appearing in the morgue.

"Molly, do you have any acetone disulfide?" Sherlock asked. Molly, who was currently cutting into a brain on a metal pan, glanced up.

"Huh? Yeah, I think it's in the chemicals cabinet," she said as she put down her scalpel.

"What do we need this for?" John said, looking confused. Sherlock was currently rushing around the lab with a beaker and muttering quietly to himself.

"Got any chlorine bleach powder?" he asked Molly. She was a bit taken aback by his odd request and she glanced at him with curiosity.

"Calcium hypochlorite, right?" she said as she opened a drawer. "How much?"

"A few milligrams or so," Sherlock said as he pulled out a heat pad from the drawer beneath the desk. Molly poured the amount on a napkin and handed it to him. Sherlock mixed the two and waited for it to boil, before putting it into a vial. Molly and John stood silently on the sidelines, both racking their brains for a possible answer as to why Sherlock needed such ingredients.

"Er, what is this for?" John said as Sherlock carefully put a few drops of the clear liquid onto a dishrag before looking back up.

"Molly, may I ask you something?" he said rather casually.

"What?" she said as she turned around, beaker in hand.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform?" Sherlock said. She did not have time to answer as he swiftly pressed the dishrag to her nose. Molly let out a squeak of terror and John stared at Sherlock with an open mouth. Within ten seconds, her body had fallen limp and she was unconscious. Sherlock glanced at the rag with curiosity before putting it on the table.

"Well, it works. Fairly potent too," he said put the vial in his pocket.

"Sherlock, what the hell?" John said, looking shocked.

"I had to test it somehow. You didn't seem like the best volunteer, so I chose Molly," Sherlock said casually as lifted Molly and carried her to the break room down the hall.

"S-she's your girlfriend, Sherlock! She didn't even volunteer!" John sputtered angrily, following after him.

"Fair point. Hmm, she's lighter than usual. She hasn't been eating well lately," Sherlock said thoughtfully, his mind switching to a completely different topic.

"Did you just forget that you pressed a chloroform rag against her nose?" John said incredulously. Sherlock merely ignored him and set Molly on the bed in the room. He pulled out his notebook from his pocket and wrote Molly a note, explaining why he had dosed her with chloroform and that he was sorry for doing so. Sherlock put the finished note in between her fingers and headed out the door, seemingly unfazed by the events that had just unfolded. He grabbed a clean white cloth from the morgue before heading back upstairs with John. As they sat in a cab headed for Islington, John glanced at Sherlock for a moment.

"She's going to be absolutely livid when she wakes up," John muttered.

"Probably. But I apologized, so that usually makes it better," Sherlock said nonchalantly.

"Sherlock, you just dosed her with chloroform without warning her beforehand. Saying sorry won't cut it. You have to make it up to the poor woman," John argued.

"What would I even do in return?" Sherlock said. This was an honest question, given that he did not usually engage in social interactions.

"God, I don't know! Make her dinner or something. Take her out on a legitimate date, not just your usual visits to a crime scene with her. That's a terrible idea of a date. Do something unexpected. Mary usually likes it when I do that," he said.

"But John, I don't know even know what I want to do-" he began.

"No buts. You don't just go around dosing people with chloroform. That's not socially acceptable," John said firmly.

"I'm not socially acceptable, not by any means. You of all people should know that by now," Sherlock said matter-of-factly. John rolled his eyes and leaned back in the seat.

"It's pointless arguing with you," John sighed. Sherlock merely shrugged and stared out at the passing city. As they sped down the streets of London, Sherlock could not help but smile to himself. Alexa's web of lies had become so tangled to the point where different identities overlapped and the line between lie and truth became an unintelligible blur. Today, they were ready to unravel the truth and guess what?

He could honestly say that it was going to be fun.

* * *

Alexa sat quietly in the living room, staring blankly at the whitewashed walls. The space felt tiny, almost as if it were constricting her. She hadn't left the flat for a day now and she felt slightly stir crazy from not being able to leave. There was nothing but silence in her mind and she needed something to drown it out, lest she go completely mad. Alexa swung her legs over the couch and turned on the television, letting the ramblings of conspiracy theorists fill the silence. She longed to open the window but was forced to keep it shut, in the fear that someone would he able to obtain a visual on her. Anything and everything could go wrong with one simple move and she could not afford to take chances now. It was already risky being here, since they were working on her case and she had literally met Q the day before.

She went toward the kitchen to grab a meal and passed the mirror on her way there. Alexa paused for a moment and studied herself in the mirror carefully, noting that she looked rather worse for wear. There were white scars decorating her arms and legs and a faded cut on her neck. She had lost a considerable amount of weight due to a mixture of self-neglect and many sleepless nights. Despite the fact that she had been training for months, she was thinner, if not, more delicate and her eyes currently showed a terrible weariness that she tried not to show in public. She gave herself the best attempt at a smile that she could manage before giving up and letting out a sullen sigh.

"Being dead is miserable," she muttered to herself as she padded into the kitchen. She came back with an apple and turned to stare at the television, thinking quietly about what she was going to do.

Alexa knew that Mycroft was right and that she would have to tell them eventually. She bit her lip, weighing the consequences and advantages it might offer and wondered why she was so hesitant. What could possibly be holding her back? It took her an hour, but she eventually realized that she was simply afraid. The factors were volatile and out of her control, a situation that made her uneasy. She did not know how they would react, if Q would even help her, and where she would go if they did not. It was a terrifying thing, not knowing. Uncertainty had been a big part of her life for the past nine months and she was honestly quite sick of it. It left her with a wretched feeling in the pit of her stomach she wanted more than anything to be sure of at least something. However, it became evident that this was obviously not going to happen and she decided that it was best to face her fears now, before things got out of hand.

She stood up and went to the bedroom, where she pulled a simple white blouse with short sleeves out of her suitcase. Alexa put on a pair of jeans out of her suitcase and brown boots, before pulling on her long black coat and scarf. She gave her appearance a passing glance before heading back to the room, where she grabbed the files that Mycroft had given to her. The envelope she held contained the files Mycroft had taken from the Russian government database about Operation Chetiri. She needed to bring them with her for validation purposes, in case they didn't believe her.

Alexa tucked the envelope and her purse under her arm, stared at herself in the hallway mirror, and at least attempted to smile. After establishing the fact that she was nervous as hell and that she was probably going to be in a lot of trouble with Q, the smile disappeared as quickly as it had appeared and she let out a sullen sigh before heading towards the door.

The sound of the bell stopped her in her tracks on the carpeted floor and she hung back, wondering who it could be. It rang again and was accompanied with a firm knock. This time, there was more vigor than before and she became apprehensive. Why would they want to see her so badly?

She took off her shoes and set them quietly on the carpet, creeping almost silently to the door. Alexa peeked through the little hole above the door, her heart pounding loudly in her ears. It seemed to stop as she stared at the two men standing at her door, which were none other than Holmes and Watson.

"Alexa, open up. We know you're there," Sherlock called as he continued to pound at the door. She could hear them clearly from her position and watched their interactions carefully.

"Sherlock, we can't just knock on random doors and assume that she's there!" John said.

"Quiet, John. We've done it six times already, so there isn't much of a point in going back. There's a high probability that she's in this one," he hissed.

"Sherlock, the curtains are drawn and there's a stack of newspapers on the doorstep. They're obviously not home," John argued.

"The evidence says otherwise, John. Look at the bloody bin over there. It's odd that they've bothered to pull out the bin, when there's a pile of newspapers at the doorstep. The newspapers stack implies that they're away but the tracks in the gravel are fresh, made only this morning. It must have been force of habit to pull out the bin, then, because if you normally want to stay out of the public eye, you would hole up in your house and disregard other trivial things like the bin. Looking at that, the newspapers now have a different explanation. There may be stacks of newspapers at the step, but they must be there to distract you, to cover that dried, muddy footprint on the middle of the carpet. It's small and slender, but the markings look fresh. It can't be the mailman, because the distribution of weight is equal on the footprint. Most standing jobs like that tend to place more weight on the front or back of the foot, regardless of gender. A woman lives here, given by that footprint, and if they've taken measures to imply that they aren't home, then there's a high chance that this is where Alexa is," he said. Panic arose in her throat as soon as she realized that he was completely correct and she stood frozen, unsure of what to do.

"Well, what do we do?" John asked.

"She must be there. We just have to get in," he said.

"And get arrested for breaking and entering? Absolutely not!" John said.

"John, you know Gary will bail me out-"

"Damn it Sherlock, it's Greg!" he replied. The two men began to bicker and Alexa sprung to life. She wanted to see Q first and give the news to him before proceeding to see Sherlock. Alexa quickly made sure that she could eliminate the telltale signs that she had been here. She cleaned up the table and made it look normal by tucking the files under her arm. Alexa could still hear them bickering and rushed upstairs, to hide the weapons she had stored away in her closet. As she entered the room, she silently thanked Anthea, who had told her to unpack, and hid her array of sniper rifles and weapons (six to seven items, give or take a few) behind, of all places, in the laundry closet that held her washing machine in the upstairs hallway. She heard more pounding on the door and panic seized her. Alexa tried to make it downstairs as quickly and as quietly as she could (nearly tripping in the process) and stood at the foot of the stairs. She threw her shoes on and headed out the back door and into the small yard.

Alexa, remembering Sherlock's keen powers of deduction, made a point not to walk through the grass (for the fear of leaving tracks and mud stains). She headed to the side of the fence and hoisted herself up on the bottom bar. Alexa crept quickly against the fence before reaching the back. She held the envelope between her teeth and pushed herself up, vaulting into the alley behind her home. Alexa sprinted to the end of the alley near Compton Road and began to walk casually to the main road. She could not hear Sherlock and John anymore and assumed that they had broken in by their own means. Alexa did not mind that they were exploring her home; all of her important documents were currently with her and all that was incriminating in the house was her small collection of guns. Although she doubted that they would even think to look behind the darkened washer and dryer, she could not help but wonder how they would feel if they did. This caused her to walk quicker but maintain an even pace in order to appear normal. She didn't want trouble following her anymore.

Alexa hailed a cab at the corner of Compton Road and sat down in the worn, leather seat. "Drop me off near Farringdon Station, please," she said politely. The cabbie nodded and started to drive, leaving her to the silence of her thoughts. It was scary, honestly, thinking how Q would react when she met him again but she knew that she would have to do it. Despite the fact that it was scary meet him again, she could not help but feel a small spark of excitement and hoped that their little reunion would not be as bad as she anticipated it to be. However, she still feared for the worst and braced herself to face the full force of Q's wrath.


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the new addition, so I hope you like it!

_It hurts to let go. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it never comes back. You're left so alone that you can't explain._

_**-Marilyn Monroe** _

* * *

Q walked quietly through the darkened halls of the MI6 base, his feet padding softly across the concrete floors. He was finally heading home for the night, after a lengthy (and quite honestly, hassling) day of work and wanted nothing more than to eat his dinner, have a cuppa, and sleep. _Forget the cuppa; whiskey would be better after all I went through today,_  he thought to himself. Q shoved his pass at the scanner rather lackadaisically and headed out the door with his hands shoved deep inside of his pockets.

The chill soon crept into his bones and he hurried down the sidewalk, eager to get home. The incident from last night left him unsettled, now that the initial feeling of excitement that came with decrypting Alexa's message had passed. In turn, he was wary of everything that moved around him in the shadows and attempted to confirm what each amorphous shape could be. Upon arriving at Farringdon Station, Q fumbled for his card momentarily before passing it through the scanner. He walked through the gates and headed down the stairs, to wait for the evening train going home. Q took a seat at his usual spot, the faded brown bench, and stared forward to ignore the noise around him. His mind was slipping in and out of different topics and attention to his surroundings soon began to drift away as he pondered on different things he had to worry about at work and at home.

The rustle of paper brought him out of his reverie and he saw the person next to him set down a receipt on their thigh. Q had only glanced for a moment but in the corner of his eye, he caught the words, "Computer Viruses: from Theory to Applications..." at the top of the receipt. His heart beat quicker and it was too much of a coincidence for those same words to appear, at the very place where he had first met her almost a year ago. It had to be only one person- Alexa.

Q stared at the woman next to him, whose face was currently being blocked by the book. He watched as she kept reading casually and he cleared his throat. "Excuse me-" he began, flinching as the words came out of his mouth. They sounded almost too loud (as did everything else) and the words rang in his ears. His body was a mess of emotions and he could not understand what he was feeling or what he was even supposed to feel.

For the first time in his life, Sherrinford Holmes was completely unsure of what to think of his predicament.

Without warning, she snapped the book shut with a simple, smart motion. Alexa set the book down on her lap and looked directly into his eyes. "Hello, Q. It's good to see you," she said, allowing herself to give him a shy, but nonetheless weary smile. Q stared at her without speaking and could only stare at her as she sat in front of him. It was as if he was mentally deciding whether this was real or not and she decided to assuage his current fears.

"Don't worry, I'm really here," she said softly. There was slight hesitation in her voice and her eyes were filled with a myriad of emotions. She looked both afraid and excited at the same time and she looked as if she wanted to say something, but no words escaped her lips after that point. Her eyes met with Q's and for a moment, there was an unspeakable look of pain in his eyes. This was the woman he loved more than anything, whom he had believed to be dead. Instead of being dead, she was sitting before his very eyes in the place where they first met. In all honesty, he felt betrayed by seeing her here today. The pain was later replaced with one of anger and although he attempted to keep his face expressionless, the anger still remained.

Q did not say a word; rather, he grabbed her by the wrist, stood up, and led her onto the train. His grip was tight around her wrist and she could feel his hand shaking slightly. Internally, he was seething, but externally, he showed little to no signs of his anger.

During their train ride, Alexa snuck a small glance at Q but was met by a cold look that discouraged her from trying again. He had not acted like she had anticipated (honestly, she expected him to say at least something), which was something that she found frightening. To her dismay, each scenario she had planned out had been discarded and she was stuck in a spot of uncertainty once again. The feelings she wished to express became caught in her throat and she said nothing, for fear of making it worse.

Alexa watched as the places whooshed past them and wondered where exactly they were going. Her eyes widened slightly upon seeing that they passed Great Portland Street Station and wondered where they could possibly be going. She averted her gaze away from Q and waited for the train to stop. Several minutes later, the jarring impact of the brakes against the wheels caused her to shift forward slightly and she glanced up quickly at the station name. Her heart sank upon seeing the words "Baker Street" and she felt worry creep into her heart. They were seeing Sherlock, so his input could either make things better or worse.

Q pulled her up and led her along with considerable force, his mouth a tight, unforgiving line against his face. His jaw was clenched and he looked as if he was fighting off the urge to shout at everyone. She remained silent as they advanced through the station and into the sidewalk. He pulled her into the flat and brought her upstairs, never letting go of her all the while. Q opened the door and stormed into the living room.

"Sherlock!" he called as he walked in. The man popped his head out of the kitchen and his brow furrowed with concern at the sight of his younger brother and especially at the sight of Alexa.

"Ah, Q. I see you found her," he said gravely. Q's temper seemed to reach its breaking point and he finally snapped, which was something Alexa had never known he was capable of doing.

"Why do you always have to be right?!" Q shouted, slamming his fist against the table.

"I'm always right, whether it's a good thing or not. Fact of life, Q," he said dryly.

"I didn't want you to be, but you saw it in her already. You knew right away what she could be hiding," he said. He was fighting hard to keep the rest of his voice under control and his fists were clenched tightly against his sides. "Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"I could have done so, but it wouldn't have been the right thing to do and you know that, Q. I had little evidence to back up my suspicions, so there was nothing I could do. She has to reveal her past eventually, and as unpleasant as this is, I suppose it'll have to be like this," he said quietly. Q was silent for several moments and Alexa's heart seemed to pound louder out of fear, the noise filling the silence that rang in her ears.

Without warning, Q headed off and pulled a chair away from the desk. He placed it at the centre of the rug and stood at the edge of the fireplace. "Sit," he said through gritted teeth.

"Why?" Alexa said softly.

"All of his clients sit there, and that's all you are," he said, attempting to keep his voice controlled.

She stared at him for the briefest of moments before taking a seat in the thin chair. Alexa watched Sherlock take a seat across from Q and they both turned their gazes directly to her. "Speak," Q said. Any previous attempt of maintaining a calm, collected composure became lost and anger became visible in his voice.

Her voice seemed to catch in her throat and she could not find the right words to say. She sat frozen, with a look of silent terror in her eyes and Q's relentless gaze did nothing to help the situation. Alexa could not speak and Sherlock realized that they would never really get anywhere if they continued with this approach. Q was too emotionally compromised (honestly, he didn't blame him) to handle the situation properly, so he would do it. He sighed and looked up at her, ready to take charge of the situation.

"Who exactly are you, Miss Abbott?" Sherlock asked.

"That's not my name. Not anymore, anyway," she said softly.

"Ah, that's right. Speaking of names, who are you today?" he said. She paused for a moment before shaking her head.

"I don't know," she mumbled, staring down at her hands that lay in her lap. Sherlock's eyes narrowed and he snatched the envelopes from under her arm. He laid out each in front of them, which were labelled with different initials and folded his arms across his chest.

"There are four different identities here, which are mostly aliases. One of them is the real one, so which is it?" Sherlock said.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "Really, I don't. With a life like mine, you're stuck in an odd limbo of never knowing who you are or who you will be next."

He merely let out a quiet hum and began thumbing through the pages of the Operation Chetiri envelope. The rustle of the pages did not do much to fill the silence and the feeling of Q's gaze on hers made her nervous. For once, she wished that she was small, a mere speck in their eyes so she could hide from Q's wrath. He clicked his tongue in disapproval as he read through the files and shook his head.

"You've kept far too many secrets over the past few years, Alexa. Care to reveal them now, to both of us?" he said.

"I would rather not," she said, giving him a tight smile that did not reach her eyes.

"You have to," Q said firmly, shooting her a glare. "You know the risks. You've played this game long enough. This time, the stakes are higher than ever and the odds don't seem to be in your favour. Therefore, I think it would be in your best interest to talk, so do it."

"Nothing is ever in my favour. It's an easy concept to grasp if people are firing bullets at you night and day," she said dryly. At the mention of her dubious occupation, Sherlock let out a sigh and shook his head.

"Of course. You just had to go and fall in love with a femme fatale, didn't you Q?" Sherlock muttered, glancing over at him.

"I wouldn't call it love. Not right now," he said. Alexa shifted uncomfortably in her seat and avoided his gaze, along with saying anything to his barbed comment.

Sherlock decidedly ignored the tension between them and leant forward, resting his elbows against his knees. "Are you with the Russians now?" he asked.

"I'm not working with anyone. I am alone, as always," she said, the words leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. Sherlock studied her closely and folded his arms across his chest.

"Tell me, Alexa, who's been firing at you and why?" Sherlock said.

"Ah, yes. The question is always why. Easy to ask, but the answer isn't always that simple," Alexa said aloud, while attempting to think of a proper response.

"Are you stalling me, Alexa? I find that a bit childish, and I don't appreciate childish behaviour," Sherlock said, sounding mildly annoyed.

"Not at all. Just...thinking aloud, that's all," she said, an absent look in her eyes. He paused for a moment before deciding to go about this at a different angle.

"Let's try something easier. How many people have you ever killed?" he said. A startled look flashed across her face and she struggled to regain her composure.

"How is that any easier?" Alexa said, her brow furrowing in confusion. "I won't feel any more comfortable with telling you that."

"Why not? Alexa, we had to acknowledge the elephant in the room at some point," Sherlock said. Alexa was silent for a while and she looked at the window next to him before her eyes flickered back to him.

"You're 006, aren't you?" she said softly. He nodded and she clasped her hands together.

"Then you've been in the same position I've been in, haven't you, Sherlock? You've killed people before and it's not something that's easily forgotten," she said, a faraway look in her eyes.

"That doesn't answer my question," he said impatiently.

"Are you sure you really want to know?" Alexa said softly. Sherlock looked at her expectantly and she sighed.

"I'll never say. But I will tell you that many have died at my hands and also because of me. The body count for me is far higher than a regular agent's, and possibly more than 007's. There is red in my ledger, and I fear that I may never be able to wipe it out," she said quietly. Sherlock silently did the math before blinking in surprise and staring at her.

"So, why do you do this? Why do you play this game?" he asked.

"Playing this game is not a choice I made. In turn, I have to do whatever I can to protect everyone from any enemies I encounter. I see those men are threats and eliminating them means that the ones I love are safe," she said, the steely glint returning in her eyes.

"Should that be a reason to take someone's life?" he said. She blinked in surprise and she bit her lip, uncertainty running through her blood. Alexa was silent for a while before she made a mental toss of the towel.

"I don't know. I'll never know," she said softly. Alexa glanced up at him with her eyes alight with insight. "You wonder that too, don't you?"

"I don-" he began.

"I remember hearing about the Moriarty affair, and how you...chased down all of the assassins that threatened your family," she said.

"In that sense, we are alike. We always wonder if there is a legitimate reason for murder, but it all depends on the levels of our morality. It seems life and death rely on a volatile, ever-changing grey area that varies with everyone," Alexa said, smiling sadly at the thought.

"I see," he said. He looked at the wall behind her, wondering what to say, before returning his gaze to her.

"Tell me, how did you survive?" he asked.

"You've faked your death before. Surely you've got some idea," Alexa said smoothly. Sherlock's eyes narrowed and he studied her carefully.

"Q saw you jump in front of that train himself and I helped conduct your autopsy, yet you're here. That means that you must've had a proxy of some sort. You've managed to remain dead for this long, so someone must have helped you. Who was it?" he said. Alexa had watched him as he talked and she stared at him incredulously.

"They said you were a sharp one. I guess they weren't kidding," she muttered.

"Who are they?" Sherlock pressed on.

"I'm afraid I can't divulge such information. They'll probably get...vexed with me for doing so," she said frankly. Sherlock could only narrow his eyes at her and Q gave her a cold glare.

"You know where you are and who you're around, Alexa. You know what will happen if you don't answer him," Q said, speaking for the first time in a while.

"I would prefer to leave certain people out of this," she said softly.

"It can't work that way. We have to know to understand the full scope of this situation," Q argued.

"I cannot. I swore to leave them out of this. I will leave, if I have to," she said, her voice taking on a sharper edge.

"But you're not going to. You need this. You're out of options, which is why you haven't made a single attempt to escape," Sherlock said, standing up. The man loomed over her and she felt diminutive under his shadow.

"Look at you. You're barely held together, with that cold façade of yours. But the truth is, you're breaking, Alexa. You're bursting at the seams and your façades can't help you anymore. This is the end of your smoke and mirrors game and you can't hide from the truth any longer," he hissed. Her expression began to change and she sat there in silent anticipation, her hands trembling slightly. The words became caught like mush in her mouth and she sat there, listening to hear what else he had to say. However, she had a feeling that none of this was going to turn out well and she tried to suppress her fears.

"Your life is easy, you know. You can lie, steal, and kill your way through life, but you don't have to mourn, like my brother has been for nine months. You don't have wonder what happened, why it happened, and if it was all your fault," Sherlock said bitterly, his voice raising in anger. "Do you realize that, Alexa? Do you know how much pain you've caused him-"

"Stop," she said softly. The words felt like mush in her mouth and it came out a lot quieter than she had intended. He didn't hear what she had said and continued to talk fervently.

"He's been left here to mourn while you run around the world, living your life. Can you imagine how he felt? Do you realize the repercussions of your actions, Alexa-" he said angrily.

The pain and pressure was mounting and his words were echoing in her mind. They were more painful than she could imagine, piercing her heart like a knife and her heart twisted painfully upon realizing that he was right. Her body was shaking and she could not bear to hear him go on.

"Stop!" she shouted. The word had come out louder than she had intended and she drew back, afraid to say any more. She stared down at her lap to hide the tears shining in her eyes and fidgeted with her hands nervously. He had shaken her to her very core in about ninety words, a fact that unsettled her greatly. No one had done that before and it left an unpleasant feeling in the pit of her stomach. Miraculously, he stopped talking altogether and she let out a shuddering breath before talking again. This time, she turned directly to Q and stared into his eyes with a weary, if not somewhat broken, gaze.

"I can't begin to imagine how much pain I caused you and I'm not even sure of what you felt like after I faked my suicide. In a sense, that's a summation of how my life has been for the past nine months- full of uncertainty. I haven't been sure of anything at all, but the one and only thing I'm certain of is the fact that my life hasn't been easy either," she said quietly.

"How could you be sure?" Q replied, folding his arms across his chest.

"I..." Alexa began, her voice trailing off. She knew it hadn't been easy, but she didn't know how exactly to show him and once more, that damned feeling of uncertainty had struck again.

"Take off your coat and scarf."

Sherlock's words had seemingly appeared out of thin air and startled her, leaving her unsure of what to do. Alexa turned to Sherlock with hesitant eyes and he motioned for her to do so. She reluctantly slipped off her coat to reveal the scars that decorated her arms. There were a considerable amount of slash marks that decorated her arms, all of them of different shapes and sizes. They struck bold, criss-crossing white lines across her skin, becoming a small, yet noticeable feature of her image. She slipped off her scarf and set it on her lap to reveal the final mark, which was inscribed on her neck.

She trembled slightly as she stood before them, wondering what they could possibly thinking. Alexa thought Q's eyes showed a look of alarm, but his clenched fists and white knuckles sent her mixed messages and left her doubtful of his true emotions. Sherlock, on the other hand, noted them with mild surprise and he could not help but stare at her scarred body. He had been an agent before but he had never been battered up to this extent. He had made sure to do so, to leave little to no traces of what he had done. On the contrary, she had been carelessly risking it all for the past nine months and the scars were all she had to show for it. It was a destructive, ever-changing lifestyle that she could not escape, unless someone else intervened.

"In the course of nine months, I've nearly died three times and I've been in and out of treatment from black market physicians more times than I can count on both hands. I haven't had a full-night's sleep in a while because I've worried about if Q's okay, if he hates me, and if I'll even see him again. I've fought for nine months and this is all I have to show for it. So, if either of you think my life has been any easier, I'm afraid you're sorely mistaken," she said softly. Her strong façade was slipping away quickly and she showed them what she really was now- broken and alone.

"You can't keep living like this. Your luck's going to run out sometime, Alexa," Sherlock said.

"Why do you think I came to London?" she said dryly. Sherlock merely nodded and sat up. Sherlock knew that he would not be able to get much more out of her and looked directly at her.

"Will you answer something honestly for me, Alexa?" Sherlock said.

"Ask away," she said quietly.

"Do you truly love him? Or do you merely feel obligated to help him because you accidentally dragged him into all of this?" Sherlock said, pointing to Q. There was a pause and for the first time in months, she burst out laughing. She had no idea why she had laughed but the motion felt liberating, as if to release the stress she had felt now. However, it was not a laugh made from joy. It was a soft, quiet laugh that lacked the spark of joy most laughs were composed of and was composed of weariness instead. Her laughter was an action that took both of them by surprise and she ignored their shock by shaking her head.

"Sherlock, I wouldn't have gone through all of this trouble if I didn't," she said. The look in her eyes was enough to make him believe her; she almost looked like a child again, with the honesty that emanated from her gaze. He nodded, satisfied with her answer, and stood up.

"Wait, where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm obviously not the right person to get you to divulge anything else and Q seems a little bit less emotionally compromised right now so I suppose you can speak with him," he said crisply as he walked towards the hallway. "I'll be seeing you, Alexa."

She felt panic rising in her chest as she realized that she would be alone with him. Alexa had thought she was ready to talk with him but she suddenly felt a pang of damnably human uncertainty. The factors were too far out of her control and not knowing how Q would react terrified her. Sherlock saw the look of fear on her face that she could not hide and he merely smiled nonchalantly at her, offering little to no comfort to ease her fears. He popped out of the room and she sat there in stunned silence, wondering what would happen to them.

Alexa glanced up hesitantly (if not, a bit shyly), and found that she could not speak. The words turned to mush in her mouth and the sight of him was, oddly enough, one that left her tongue-tied. Q was equally silent and they sat there for a moment, merely looking at each other. Alexa was undoubtedly nervous about this whole situation and he made a mental note to use that fact to his advantage later on. She wrung her fingers in her lap and said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Your tie is crooked," she blurted out. There was a pause before she could register what she had said. Alexa could not believe she had said that and had to keep from physically smacking herself.

"I haven't seen you in nine months, and that's the first thing you decide to say to me?" he said, his expression an odd mixture of amusement and annoyance.

"Well, what else was I supposed to say? Ta da? Surprise, I'm not dead?" Alexa said. "Those don't seem entirely appropriate."

"It would have been better than hearing that my tie is crooked," he muttered as he adjusted the black silk tie. She fell silent and wrung her hands nervously once more. Q was looking at her directly now and she did her best to avoid his gaze.

"You could have come by earlier to the flat in Islington. It would've been easier than sending Sherlock and John," she said.

"I didn't know you were alive for nine months. Did you honestly expect me to just pop in and say hello?" Q said bitterly.

"Right. I should have expected that," she said, smiling vaguely. He mind was adrift, lost in a sea of thoughts of what she should say to him and he returned her attention to him by clearing his throat.

"I saw you die nine months ago and now, you're here. Care to tell me how you did that?" Q said. There was an unmistakeable air of coldness that hung around them and she did not know exactly what to say.

"Not particularly. But I have to tell you sometime, don't I?" she said softly as she drew her eyes away from him, in an effort to distract her racing thoughts.

"Sometime today would be nice," he said stiffly. Her shoulders seemed to droop and she seemed to concede defeat, glancing back up at him with weary eyes.

"Tell me what you want to hear," she said softly.

"All I want to hear is the truth. I just want to know why you had to leave me like this. Don't leave me in the dark about anything," he said. There was a silence from Alexa and she stared at the folders on the table.

"Before I say anything, may I ask you something?" she said.

"Go ahead," he replied.

"If I showed you the unpleasant side of my life, could you ever see me as the same person again?" she said softly as she looked up at him. He could see that her eyes were troubled and for a moment, he could see her childlike vulnerability. She was afraid that he would hate her forever if he knew her secret. Q was unsure of how to respond and he glanced back at her with an expressionless look.

"Why don't we find out?" Q said coolly. Alexa frowned and folded her arms across her chest.

"Of course you would give me an answer like that. I should have expected as much from you," she muttered. Q could see that she was obviously afraid of telling him what she had done before and he made an effort to back off a bit, so as not to make her uncomfortable, to the point where she would tell him nothing.

"Alexa, tell me what happened. I just want to know the truth and why you did all of this," he said in a quieter, less hostile tone. There was a pause before Alexa took the folder marked "AN" in her hands.

"I suppose I should start at the beginning so you understand all of this. I was born as Alexandra Zarya Nikolova in Kodino, Russia. My father was a doctor and my mother stayed home to care for me. Both of my parents worked hard in raising me and sent me to the best school they could afford. The first few years of my life were simple, and everything was good. I was naïve enough to believe that nothing bad could happen to us," she said with a smile. There was a hint of regret in her smile and she set the folder on the coffee table.

"But in 1989, during the deterioration of the Soviet Union, the government began testing children to put them on specific educational paths. It was called the track system and when I took the test, I qualified for something more...unconventional than the usual. I was brought into a government program, called Operation Chetiri," Alexa said.

"What is Operation Chetiri?" he asked. She silently pulled out the file on Operation Chetiri and handed it to him. Q quickly skimmed through its contents before returning his gaze to her.

"I suppose it would be correct to say that it was the Soviet Union's last-ditch effort to bring glory to a failing country. They named it after the number four to associate it with death, since they wanted to train children to be silent assassins, or conniving politicians, and other sorts of nasty little things like that. Their intention was to restore the Soviet Union to its former glory and they hoped that the children would be the nation's saving grace, the one thing keeping it from falling apart," she said.

"When my parents found out that I was going to be in this program, they were happy about it. They didn't know that I wasn't exactly going to an elite school like they had been told and that the program required that the children be orphaned upon entering Operation Chetiri, so as not to cause any legal problems," she said. Alexa's expression took a darker turn and her eyes flickered to the manila envelope on the table. She found that she could not speak for a moment and Q looked at her expectantly, wanting to hear the rest of her story.

"And?" he said.

"Well, everything happened very quickly. The soldiers came and killed my parents. I watched it all happen and there was nothing I could do. At first, I didn't understand what was going on and the only thing I could do was run away. I ran as fast as I could, but they still caught me," she said. The image of her father being killed was burned into her memory and her mother's piercing screams still echoed fresh in her mind. Alexa forced herself to suppress these thoughts and struggled to keep her composure.

"Anyway," she said, clearing her throat. "In the beginning of the program, there were thirty of us. We were all in the same boat, essentially; everyone was orphaned, helpless, and afraid. That mentality changed as we grew up and we had two options: fight or die. There were only a few that chose to die; by the time I was eleven, eight had already committed suicide. Those who fought for their lives did whatever they could to survive, but they all had an expiration date, so to speak. They all died somehow too. When I was seventeen, there were only two of us left and we were the ones who stooped to whatever height was necessary to live. Both of us had committed several crimes and we were both striving to be Agent Chetiri, which meant survival and, in turn, a way out alive."

"You won, didn't you?" Q said.

"I did. I went from being one of their worst to one of their best operatives but I was also the most troublesome, for that matter. They wanted to control us but I resisted and rebelled against the Agency as much as I could, without being killed. Finally, I made it to the final test where they had me assassinate a government official from Belarus. From there, I faked my death in a bombing and I did whatever I could to get as far away from Russia as possible. Eventually, I ended up finding my way to England and began a new life. For years, my life was good, until they found me," Alexa said softly. She let out a sigh and leaned back in her chair, staring at the file before letting out a soft and rueful laugh.

"Now that I think about it, surviving was rather stupid of me, really. I should have just died along with my parents that night. It would've saved me from a lot of trouble. Yet, even in the darkest of all moments, the human desire for self-preservation trumps all," she said, toying absentmindedly with the edge of the envelope.

Now that he better understood her actions, he didn't feel surprised by why she had to lie about her past. She led a complex life and wanted no one else to get involved in it. In turn, she lived under a mask of different identities and survived by those means. Although he was still more than a little angry at her for not telling him about anything for the past nine months, some of the anger had subsided since he now knew the truth.

"It's too late to regret it now, isn't it? Besides, if you died beforehand, we wouldn't have even met," Q said matter-of-factly, tentatively setting a hand on hers. She managed to give him a slight smile and nodded her head in agreement.

"You're right about that. That was a long time ago and there is nothing I can do to change the past," she said quietly, regaining her composure.

"Explain to me what the Agency does," Q said. His expression showed that he looked neither angry nor pleased with her; his face was nothing more than clear, a blank slate.

"They're the leaders of Operation Chetiri and they're the ones that want to continue the program again. I don't have their names memorized but I have them on a file in the flat," Alexa said.

"What exactly do they want with you?" he asked.

"When Volkov came to the headquarters that day, he wanted me so they could poke around in my brain and see what makes me tick, in order to make more operatives like me. I don't want anyone else to go through the hell I endured in Russia, so I faked my death and ran away to stop him," she said.

"Is that the only reason you died? Didn't you think of anything else before you chose to die?" Q said, feeling his anger slowly creeping in once more. She drew back her hand and retreated back to her own side, as if she had been burnt by fire.

"Of course I took account of other factors, Q. I had one other reason than the Agency that made me leave," she said, drawing her eyes down to her lap again.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I faked my death because I figured that if I was declared dead, then the Agency wouldn't go after you. I had to make you watch so that it would be convincing. However, I only wanted to ensure your safety and make sure that they wouldn't harm you because of me," she said quietly.

Q blinked in surprise at her response and when he looked at her now, he could sense her hesitance once more. He knew that if she was afraid, she wouldn't be able to tell him anything more in order for him to make proper judgements. Q took her hands once again and entwined his fingers with hers, in an effort to ease her growing fears.

"Alexa," Q said softly. Alexa felt the cold clamminess of his hand against hers and she could not meet his eyes.

"Alexa, look at me," he said. She hesitantly shifted her gaze to him and he saw the undeniable fear in her eyes. To be honest, he had never seen her look so afraid and he knew that if Alexa was afraid of these people, then they were truly a force to be reckoned with. Alexa opened her mouth to say something but stopped herself, as if the fleeting thought was deemed unimportant. "Y-yes?" she stuttered.

"Why must you trouble yourself with all of this, all on your own?" he said. She fell silent for a while and her shoulders seemed to slump slightly.

"I guess I've lived this kind of life for as long as I can remember and I've gotten used to always being alone, bearing my own burdens," she mumbled.

"And why did you come see me tonight, of all nights?" he said.

"I've realized that I can't live like this any longer. I've nearly died three times now and I can't protect anyone, much less myself. I've made a mess with factors I can't control on my own," Alexa said. She looked up at him with a look of hesitance in her eyes. "I need your help, Q."

Q felt that same bit of anger flare up once again, as the thought of why he should help her had now occurred to him. She was nothing more than a liar. Alexa had deceived him and hid the truth right under his nose. Anger clouded his thoughts and he could feel himself growing even more annoyed at her all over again. His annoyance stemmed not only from anger at her actions, but also at himself. He had taken the chance to fall for another woman and received nothing but deceit from it. A shadow of doubt crossed over his expression and his eyes narrowed.

"You lied to me, Alexa," Q said. His resentment was getting the best of him and his voice and temper began to rise. "You fabricated everything about your past and you've lied to me about all you are."

"I know that, but..." Alexa said, floundering helplessly for words to say.

"Alexa, your entire life is based on lies," he said fervently, blinded by his anger. He held ip the file on Operation Chetiri and set it down firmly on the table. "I know what you're capable of and I know there's a possibility you could've forged these files. How can I be sure that what you told me wasn't a lie? How can I even trust you anymore?"

Alexa sat there in silence and let out a soft sigh, staring at her hands to avoid his piercing gaze. "I know that you probably have a lot of reasons not to trust me, but I just want you to know that I'm not lying about any of this. I wouldn't have gained all of these scars or gone to all this trouble if I had lied," she said. Alexa went silent momentarily before looking up at him, with fear in her gaze.

"Look, Q, I really do need your help. It may sound strange, since I'm asking the same man I wanted to protect to help me do something dangerous, but I can't do this alone and I doubt anyone else would be willing to help me. I faked my death because I wanted you to live, unharmed by the Agency, but if I go on like this, they might threaten the lives both of us are living now. Besides, you've seen the number they've done on me. I'll be dead before I see this to the very end, if I do this alone," Alexa said quietly.

Although he was still angry at her, it was here that Q began to see the sanity in the madness that had occurred nine months ago. She had a plan and as crazy and internecine as it was, it was necessary for both of them to live and it had worked. He realized that she loved him enough to fake her death to keep him alive and that she was willing to go to such lengths, just for his safety. Q's emotions died down slowly, enough for him to think somewhat clearly, and he became was quiet for a long time before finally letting out a sigh.

"No," he finally said.

"No?" Alexa echoed blankly, feeling panic creep into her chest.

"You're asking the wrong person for help. I can barely fend off an assassin at the drop of a hat, like yesterday-" he began.

"Wait, what? Someone tried to kill you?" Alexa said, her eyes filled with worry. He paused momentarily and nodded slowly.

"They were intent on killing me, yes," he said. Alexa paused for a moment before meeting his eyes once more.

"Man or woman?" she said softly.

"Man," Q said cautiously.

"What did he look like?"

"He was far away, but I know he was blonde. He was taller, of muscular build," Q replied, going off as much as he could remember. There was a brief silence as Alexa racked her brain for a culprit before words burst forth from her lips.

"Did you happen to see a dark mark or a tattoo on his face?" she said.

"Yes," he replied, blinking in surprise. He heard her swear lightly, a displeased look making its way onto her face.

"Who was it?" he persisted.

"His name is Viktor Zielkov. He's an assassin, like me, and I've been tracking him for months now. Viktor is one of the Agency's liaisons and why he tried to kill you is something that worries me," she said. Q could see the worry brewing in her gaze and knew that she was weighing the consequences of the shooting. He was intent on telling her what his heart wanted him to say but struggled to finish his train of thought.

"The point is, Alexa, I'm incapable of it. How could I even help you?" he said. Alexa took this response as rejection (when in reality, it was only uncertainty) and she felt as if her heart had crumbled into pieces.

"Oh," she replied. She shut her eyes for a moment and let out a sigh. Disappointment flooded through her body and she could not believe that she could be so foolish. She had fallen hard for this one man and did everything she could to keep him safe, which only served to do the exact opposite. They were wrong in every way that she could see and her destructive lifestyle would destroy him, even if she didn't intend it to. Alexa stood up, with evident disappointment in her eyes, and turned away from him, hastily putting on her coat and scarf. She knew what she had to do- sever the ties that bound them, once and for all. Q realized that she had taken his response the wrong way and stood up.

"Wait a minute, Alexa," he began.

"No, no, you're right about all of this. This is a mistake," she muttered. Her logical side had kicked in now and she was ready to revert back to her fallback plan- escape. With her back still turned, she swiftly slipped on her coat and scarf. Alexa grabbed the book and the files and the small Paris postcard fell soundlessly to the floor. Q stared at it for a moment, realising that, of course Alexa had sent the cards. He stood quickly and watched as she began making her way out.

"God, this is a mess. I shouldn't have even asked. It was a stupid, reckless move," she said to herself, chastising herself as she went down.

"Alexa, wait-" Q said as he followed her down the stairs. She did not listen and threw open the door before turning back to face Q with a look of pain in her eyes.

"Forget about it, Q. Forget about me," she said. Her eyes held that same look of hopelessness in them she had shown before her alleged suicide and it was a look that chilled Q to the bone.

"How could I forget about you? You've done so much-" Q said as he grabbed her wrist, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"I've done so much, but it doesn't matter. None of it does. I don't even know who I am anymore," she said, her hands trembling slightly. "I'm sorry, you know," she said quickly.

"Why?" he said.

"I took that job at the Q-Branch even though I was fully aware of the consequences it could have. I've done what I can do to protect you but I've accomplished nothing more than endanger your life. My façade will disappear and the Agency will send men for you soon, all because of me. Hell, they've sent someone after you already, if you were attacked by that sniper yesterday. Volkov was right on that day, when he said that this was my fault. I never meant for any of this to happen, but it's all my fault. I'm sorry for everything, Q. I'm a fool, a goddamn fool," she said, letting out a bitter laugh. Her laughter was heartbreaking for her to hear and although she was looking down now, he could almost see and hear how much this was killing her. She looked up at him and her eyes were pleading, almost pained in nature.

"Forget about me. Erase me completely from that glorious mind palace of yours and be happy with someone else. Find someone sane, kind, lovely, and above all, someone whose past won't kill you. Please. I'm definitely not the one for you and it was foolish to think that I even had a chance," she said, tears shining in her eyes.

"Just always remember that I'm sorry and I love you. I don't even care what happens next. I'll still love you, even if you don't, and that's okay," Alexa said, letting out a short, bittersweet laugh.

Q sighed and laced her fingers in her hair, a gentle motion that contrasted with the turmoil he felt inside of him. "Alexa, I...I don't know what to say," he said, shaking his head.

"I don't mind. At least you know how I feel," she said. Alexa hesitated for a second before finally deciding to just lean in and kiss him, one last time. She gave him a swift, decisive kiss on the lips without saying a single word in advance to warn him about what she was doing. The kiss sent a rush through their veins that they were unable to get with anything else. It was a glorious feeling but also a bittersweet, and almost contradictory action, one that left her heart both elated and broken. Both of them knew the gravity of this kiss; it was her parting gift, before she went away from him for good. Without warning, she seemed to snap back to life and pulled away from him.

"Goodbye, Q. I love you," she whispered, before pulling away from him for the last time. Alexa turned away from Q and ran out the door. She sprinted onto the sidewalk and into the street, flagging down and running into a passing cab. Q stood on the sidewalk and merely stared at her as she climbed into the cab, feeling a sickening sensation settling in his stomach. It felt as if he was punched in the gut and that the sensations would never leave. To be honest, it was like watching her march to her death all over again. Was he really content with letting her go again? He tried to ponder this thoroughly but as much as his heart fought for him to chase after her, to hold her close to him and tell her that she would be alright, his mind triumphed.

Sherlock had come down to see the commotion and found Q standing in the doorway, staring blankly at the street. He caught a glimpse of Alexa leaving and shoved his hands in his pockets, wondering what course of action Q would take now.

"You never really left when we were talking. You heard everything, didn't you?" Q said, without looking at him.

"Every little word," Sherlock said. The two stood silently there for a moment before Sherlock turned to Q.

"Why did you let her go, Q?" he asked quietly.

"Letting her go was the best option for both of us. It keeps us both safe," he said flatly. It sounded like a dull fact that he had carefully constructed and memorized, but not truly felt.

"It may keep you both safe, but it definitely doesn't leave either of you any happier," Sherlock remarked.

"Sherlock, shut up. Don't remind me," Q muttered, his hands clenching into fists.

"No, that's exactly it, Q. You've failed her twice already: once, when you didn't just tell her that you loved her, and twice, when you willingly let her march off to her so-called suicide. Are you willing to let it happen a third time?" Sherlock said.

He glanced at his youngest brother for an answer, but no words came from his mouth. His lips made a tight line on his face and although he did not say a word, Sherlock began to see what he was thinking. Q had to choose once again, between letting her go and chasing after her to save her from herself. He did not say anything but merely shoved his hands in his coat pocket, muttered a goodbye to Sherlock, and silently headed down the sidewalk, preventing anyone (even Sherlock) from seeing what he had decided to do.

* * *

Tears streamed shamelessly down Alexa's cheeks as she rode back to the flat in Islington. Her body was racked by sobs and she curled up into a ball, to make herself smaller as she sat in the backseat of the cab. Alexa did not dare to look at him and forced herself to keep her gaze to the front. She had tried to remain emotionless earlier, but it became evident that this was impossible. Alexa could feel, if not, too much and tears could not help but escape from her eyes. It finally hit her that this was the last time she would ever see him, but definitely not the last time she would ever think of him. He would move on and she would be stuck in limbo, hung up on a man that she used to know. As the cab sped off, she sat there and told herself that this was for the greater good. This would keep him safe from her.

With shaking hands, she dialed a number on her phone and tried to calm down as the dial tone stretched on. Finally, someone picked up on the other line and she took a gulp of air, in order to speak a little more clearly."M-Mycroft? It's me. I n-need your help," she said through shaky breaths.

"Alexa, what happened?" he asked, genuine concern laced in his voice. "Are you okay-"

"No. It's n-nothing," Alexa said, choking back a sob. Mycroft paused, wondering if he should inquire any further, but decided against it.

"Alright. What did you need?"

"Get me out of London as soon as possible. That's the last th-thing I will ever ask of you. Just...get me out. Please," Alexa pleaded, trying hard to contain her emotions. She stifled a sob and her body trembled, shuddering painfully. She had to calm down, right now. Her mind would clear up as soon as she calmed down, and that was all she needed right now.

"Alright. A plane will be waiting at Heathrow for you. Where will you go?" Mycroft asked.

"Wherever Viktor Zielkov is," she said, attempting to stop her tears.

"Viktor Zielkov? Who is he?"

Alexa's body shook with silent sobs and Mycroft attempted to reign in the situation. "Alexa, try to calm down. Who is Viktor Zielkov?" he said.

It took her several moments to respond, but she was able to get ahold of herself and speak coherently. She took deep, calming breaths, and began to speak once more. "He's tied to the Agency as an assassin and he tried to kill Q last night. I have to go after him and find out why," she sniffed.

"Have you tracked him?"

"No," she said. "I just found out about it."

She heard the soft clacking of keys in the background and Mycroft did not speak for several minutes. In the meantime, the cab dropped her at the curb and she entered her home to pack her things. Alexa put her phone on speaker and cleaned up her appearance before gathering up her items. She was busy arranging her weapons into her suitcase when Mycroft spoke again.

"I checked the CCTV footage of the shooting and have confirmed that it is him. Zielkov is now on the move, to Turin. He's been contacted for a job, which is to kidnap the Iranian ambassador. Zielkov will be taking him from the annual Fiero Enziolini Gala, which starts at seven," he said.

"Turin it is," Alexa said. She had gotten control of her emotions now and was slipping back into her mask of indifference to hide her pain. At the moment, she did her best to speak objectively to Mycroft. Her mask of indifference left her heart feeling dead and hollow, as if she had lost herself somehow. Alexa closed the suitcase with a note of finality and held the phone to her ear as she went out the door and into a waiting cab at the end of the road.

"I'm leaving for Turin now," she said as she sat down in the way to Heathrow.

"This is the last I will hear from you, I'm assuming," he said.

"Yes," Alexa replied. Mycroft breathed a sigh of disapproval and she heard him shift slightly.

"Alexa, do try to be cautious. This man is a dangerous figure and I would not like to be the one responsible for sending you off to your death. Don't cock it up," he said firmly.

"None of this should matter to you anymore, but this is all I have," she said dully. "Just...if anything, don't tell Q where I've gone."

"I don't know if I can do that, Alexa," he said.

"Promise me. Please," Alexa said, sounding almost pleading. There was a pause and a rustle on the end of the line.

"I cannot promise that, Alexa. I'm sorry," he said quietly. Alexa's spirit seemed to fall and she let out a sigh.

"Then this is goodbye, Mycroft," she said softly.

"Goodbye, Alexa," Mycroft said. She heard the line click and stared out at the passing city lights. Alexa remained quiet throughout her ride and as she walked through the silent halls of the Heathrow Airport, she felt that same pang of sadness but attempted to suppress it. This was her choice; this would keep him safe. Alexa found that she did not feel sad nor disappointed anymore. She didn't really know what she was feeling, but she suspected that the fact that she was truly alone was the cause of her emotions.

The plane left the runway for Turin and she shut her eyes to prepare herself for the days ahead. She had no alliances anymore that could save her, if the situation took a turn or the worse. Alexa was truly alone now, and she had nothing to lose anymore. She had burnt her bridges, which left a foreboding feeling inside of her. The thought of dying alone without anyone knowing nor caring scared her. It was her against the Agency now, and she felt intimidated by her unknown future.

She shut the window to the plane with a notion of finality to ease her growing fears. For now, she could sleep; tomorrow, she would stand and fight whatever the Agency threw at her.


	21. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another new addition! Think you'll like it? Let me know later with a review!

_The danger is that in this move toward new horizons and far directions, that I may lose what I have now, and not find anything except loneliness._

**_-Sylvia Plath_ **

* * *

_**(October 23, 2014- 12:45 PM)** _

Q walked up the steps of Mycroft's office on Downing Street, rain hitting the sides of his umbrella like bullets. He was not sure why his brother had summoned him, out of work, no less. Nevertheless, he assumed it was important and decided to come anyway.

Though the night had passed, the feeling of anger at Alexa still remained. He was a man that hated the feeling of being deceived (ironic, really, since his career was based on deception of others). The fact that she had slipped all of this by him without his knowledge greatly troubled (not to mention annoyed) him. It made him slightly insecure of his own abilities and also made him wonder how she could have pulled all of this off.

He shoved his hand in his coat pocket and pulled the door open. Q folded the umbrella and stowed it in the stand before walking inside the foyer. He received a nod from Anthea as he walked by and made his way into Mycroft's office. Q straightened his tie, after realizing it was still crooked, before pushing the door open.

"You never call me out this late. What is it this time?" Q said, shutting the door behind him.

"Alexa spoke with you last night, didn't she?" Mycroft said, without looking up from his paperwork.

Q froze at the sound of his question and he was unable to speak for several moments. Mycroft glanced up and cleared his throat, to recapture his brother's attention. "Well?" he drawled, standing up.

A look of realization came across Q's face before it contorted into one of anger. His breath hitched in his throat and he began to see that he had been deceived not by one, but by two people who were close to him. "It was you, wasn't it?" Q said accusingly. He marched up to Mycroft and leant over the desk, jabbing his finger in his chest.

"You were the one that helped her fake her death," he said. Mycroft nodded silently and Q glared at him. If looks could kill, Q would have certainly become an assassin by then.

"You did all of that and you still had the bollocks to lie to me about it," he snapped.

"It wasn't just you, Q. I had to lie to everyone else about it as well," Mycroft said.

"Bullshit! Someone else must have known. Who else, Anthea?" he replied, sounding exasperated.

"Actually, that's true. She did have a hand in the planning process," Mycroft mused.

"Is that why you had those 'brotherly' chats with me?" he said. Mycroft's eyes narrowed and he walked out from his desk.

"Q, that's not-" Mycroft began.

"Are you that big of an arse, to pretend to care after helping to fake the death of the one woman I actually truly fell in love with?" Q continued, with resentment laced in his voice.

"Sherrinford Holmes, for god's sake, listen to me!" Mycroft said sharply. At this, Q knew that Mycroft was setting himself up for a serious chat and decided to at least hear him out, no matter how angry he was.

"What I did may seem wrong but you and I both know that it was necessary. If she stayed in London and handled the situation on her own, the Agency would have killed her, along with you," he said. Mycroft waited slightly, in order to gauge his reaction before continuing in a softer, if not gentler, tone.

"Now, you and I may not exactly see eye to eye and you may view me as that cold-hearted, arsehole of a brother that doesn't care about you. But think of this first: If I didn't care about you in the slightest, I wouldn't have helped to save the one woman you truly loved. Additionally, if I didn't care about you or your life at all, I wouldn't have called you here to tell you where she went," Mycroft said.

Q stared silently at his brother for a while before letting out a sigh and running his hand through his hair. "I apologize for my outburst. It wasn't fair of me to say that," he said, his voice quieter and more controlled.

Mycroft merely nodded in response and there was a small silence between the two, which meant that they had somewhat reconciled their problem. Q stared down at his foot, wondering what to say before looking up at Mycroft. "Where is she?" he asked.

"She's in Turin to kill Viktor Zielkov. He was the man that nearly killed you that night. I'm assuming she's preparing now and all she has to do is wait until seven tonight to kill him at the Fiero Enziolini Gala. His mission is to kidnap the Iranian ambassador, so she'll intercept him along the way," he said.

"Alright," Q said. He did not say another word; rather, he stared silently at Mycroft before making his way to the door.

"You do know what this means, correct? She believes that she's lost you completely and she's going to be reckless now, because your little lovers' spat," Mycroft said.

"I understand that," Q said, without turning around. "What I don't understand, however, is why she thinks she's lost all ties with me. She hasn't lost me at all."

"Alexa can be a bit of an idiot when it comes to love. That much I've noticed," Mycroft replied.

"Duly noted. But we're both idiots when it comes to love," Q muttered. Mycroft rolled his eyes and he stood there, watching his brother go. As Q's hand touched the doorknob, he stopped and stood there, to say one last parting word.

"I'm still pissed off by the fact that you didn't tell me, but..." he said as he stood at the door.

"But what?"

Q turned to face his brother and nodded slightly. "Thank you. You saved her life back then," he said.

"I did then, but it's up to you now to help her now," Mycroft said. Q could only nod and he exited the office without another word. He was quickly formulating a plan and he knew he had to get to the base as soon as he could. Q took the Tube back to the building and stormed into the office. Everyone glanced up at him as he walked in, startled by his unannounced arrival. James stood next to his desk and he looked at Q with mild surprise, given that he never usually left during work.

"You never leave during work. What's the occasion?" James said.

"Mycroft had news to tell me, about Alexa," Q said, logging into his laptop.

"Isn't she dead?" he said, his eyebrows furrowing.

"She's not dead. I talked with her last night," he muttered. Q's knuckles were white as he gripped the handle on his mug.

"Well, where is she? Bit rude of her, not to pop by and say hello," James mused.

"She's gone," Q said tonelessly. James let out a groan and shook his head.

"Really, Q? You let her go again?" he said.

"She is under the belief that I won't help her and that I completely hate her," Q said.

"I certainly see why you would hate her. How bad is it, though?" James asked.

"I don't hate her enough to let her endanger her life to save mine again," Q muttered. His mind was elsewhere now, as his fingers flew over the keys to acquire the address he needed. As the map loaded, he filled out a ticket for a flight to Turin, putting a seal at the bottom that stated the flight was urgent and for a mission. Q sent it without hesitation and within minutes, the pilot had gotten back to him and approved his request. The plane would leave as soon as he arrived and would most likely arrive at Turin at 5:45 PM. He sent the copy of the electronic ticket to his phone, along with the address and printed a copy of the ticket. Before shutting down his laptop, he filed a request for a car to be waiting at the Turin Caselle Airport for him and printed the confirmation as well. James looked over his shoulder momentarily and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What are you doing?" he said.

"Preventing her from doing something terribly stupid," Q muttered as he grabbed the files out of the printer.

"Which is?"

"Endangering herself for my sake, once again," he said, shoving the ticket into his briefcase. Q pulled on his jacket and cleared his desk. He grabbed the handprint pistol he had made almost a year ago and reloaded it, before putting it into his case. Q grabbed another pistol as an extra weapon and he headed towards the door.

"I'm headed to Turin. I'll send a signal if I get into trouble. Don't blow anything up while I'm gone," he said before quickly leaving the room. James stared at his retreating figure and he could not help but feel impressed by how far Q was willing to go, just for Alexa. He had more or less hastily planned a mission and was rushing off into the dangerous unknown to save the one he loved. Q had seemed to disregard the fact that he never really did fieldwork unless necessary (which was now). He had arranged a slapdash mission just to save her, which was something that James found respectable. He shook his head, with a hint of a smile on his face. James said a quick goodbye to the other members of the Q-Branch before shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Love can turn even the most unassuming man into a fighter," he thought to himself as he left the room.

* * *

_**(Turin, Italy- 6:45 PM)** _

Alexa stood at the mirror in front of her room at the small bed and breakfast she was staying at. She smoothed down the creases with a nervous hand and stared up at her appearance. It was a simple, dark blue dress that hugged her curves before it fell gracefully to her ankles. The fabric looped from one side to the other on the back, creating a single shoulder strap that was anchored securely to the back of the dress. It had a neckline in the front that was suited to her style, which kept itself in place whilst simultaneously showing off some décolletage. She paid no real attention to covering the marks on her skin, as she figured they were too pale to see from afar. It would not matter anyway, for she viewed the slash marks as reminders of what she left and what she fought for now. Alexa tossed her hair over one shoulder and strapped a gun to her thigh, in the likely event that a shootout would ensue.

Alexa looked around for anything else she could use before determining that she was good to go. She locked the door and walked down the stairs, saying goodbye to the elderly couple that owned the bed and breakfast as she passed. Alexa went outside and stepped onto the sidewalk, hailing a taxi to the Gala.

She got off at the street adjacent to the building and walked to the back door. It was, from what she could see, a standard electronic lock guarded by a man who regulated who went in and out. Alexa slunk through the shadows and took her cellphone from her pocket. She was able to tap into the main signal that was wired through the building and planned to relay a signal of her own to block the transmissions for the evening with a mirrored image. Alexa crept through the shadows of the trees and swiftly threw the pebble she had picked up at the wall of the building. It made a loud clang as it hit a pipe and she moved forward. The guard, naturally curious to see what the noise was, left his post to survey the situation and she activated the signal. Alexa saw the light turn green at the door and ran to it, opening it and shutting it quietly behind her.

The hallway that she had entered was empty, for the time being. She could hear muffled voices speaking rapid-fire Italian in the kitchen from the door next to her and she walked past it and into the hallway. Her heels pressed against the lush red carpet and she stopped in front of the door, which led to the main ballroom. Alexa made sure the signal was still on and stepped in, slinking quietly into the ballroom. She was relieved to see that she had not attracted attention as she walked in. The other partygoers were busy mingling and dancing to notice that she was here. Alexa plucked a flute of champagne off the tray of a passing waiter and began to look around, for the face of Viktor Zielkov.

She scanned the sea of people for her selected target but was dismayed to find that all she saw were unfamiliar faces. Alexa sipped her drink and leant against the wall, surveying the crowd once more. Her eyes drifted across the back wall and they met a pair of familiar blue-green eyes. Although he was across the room, she swore that he was the same man she left behind in London. Her heart seemed to stop and she visibly choked on her drink, coughing violently seconds later. Alexa swore she saw him smirk slightly at her reaction before he turned away from her and disappeared into the crowd.

She stood there, staring blankly at the spot that was now filled with people. Alexa's heart was pounding and she was trying to discern reality from her imagination. She was having trouble distinguishing what was real and what wasn't and she could not fully process if that was Q or not. Alexa looked around for him once more but he was nowhere to he found, leaving her to wonder if he was real or a mere figment of her imagination. Naturally, she chose the latter and figured that it was a manifestation of her inner turmoil, as she still missed him dearly. Her lips turned down into a frown and she glared sullenly at her champagne.

"Damn it all," she muttered to herself. She needed to forget about him for now; she was working and she needed to focus in order to execute this kill correctly. Alexa took a swig of her drink to raise her courage and moved around the room, slipping in between chatty socialites and rising debutantes. Her eyes looked for anyone with blonde hair and she scanned the room somewhat desperately for Zielkov. Everything seemed too loud, too disruptive and she could not tell where he was. Alexa moved forward and froze when she saw him at the top balcony. Apparently, he had seen her as well and their eyes both locked onto each other's.

Alexa saw him reach for his breast pocket and immediately grabbed her gun. She pushed a man aside and ducked behind a marble pillar to avoid a shot that would have hit both of them. Zielkov let out a shout and she heard bullets behind fired in her direction. Naturally, panic erupted in the ballroom and people rushed out, not wanting to become involved in the gunfire. She used a guerrilla tactic of duck and cover to shoot at the men but found that they were wearing bulletproof vests, as they did not fall when she shot them. Alexa let out a groan of frustration and fired a shot at Zielkov, to keep him off balance.

She ran through the pillared path to the marble staircase, in the hopes of trapping him on the top balcony. Zielkov saw through her plan and decided to retreat for now. He fired bullets at the window before flying out into the night from the second floor. His two guardsmen followed after him and Alexa decided in a split second to chase him as well. She couldn't lose him now and refused to relent. Alexa flew out of the window, in a graceful mass of dark blue silk and sheer tulle and felt her black flats hit the roof of the building below them, which was about twenty feet from the window. She saw Zielkov jump from the top to land on the grass and did the same, following relentlessly after him.

Alexa saw him drive off and she spotted a motorbike rider waiting at the red light. She pushed him aside, shouted an apology, and flew off into the night to chase after Zielkov. Alexa did not let the car out of her sight and fired at it, breaking the back window. She swerved to the right to dodge a bullet and noticed a black car following her. Alexa had no idea if it was malevolent or not but after realizing that it had not fired a single shot for about five minutes, she ignored it and focused on Zielkov.

She weaved in and out of traffic to follow him and took a sudden turn towards the warehouse district. They had a bit of a lead in front of her and they went down another road, obscuring her view. Alexa went down a gravel path and listened for a car engine, but she heard nothing. It was silent, save for the distant sounds of the freeway. She held her gun tightly and looked around, wondering where Zielkov had gone. The streetlights flickered dimly in the lot, giving her little light to see anything. She turned around, wondering if the car that was following her previously was there, but she saw nothing. Alexa stepped off the bike and was about to stay low when she felt an arm knock the gun out of her hand. She cried out slightly and two heavy hands clamped around her wrists. The strong scent of cheap tobacco and aftershave filled her nostrils and she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Looking for me?" Zielkov hissed. Alexa felt panic rising in her throat but she swallowed her fears and turned around. Her initial plan was changing quickly and she figured that if she was here, she might as well figure out why he was sent after Q. If being captured was what it took to get that information, she would do it.

"Hello, Zielkov," she said, her voice carefully controlled.

"Oh, Alexa. Call me Viktor. We're closer than that," he chuckled as he placed his mouth near her ear. Her heart pounded loudly in fear and she attempted not to scrunch up her nose in disgust. This, however, was futile and her nose was upturned in obvious disdain.

"It's a bit dark here, don't you think? Let's take this in a more private setting," he said, flashing her a wicked grin. Alexa kept her stoic composure and did not say anything, merely letting him lead her off.

Viktor called out two other men, who tied her wrists together roughly and led her along. Alexa made sure to thrash around every now and then to show her displeasure with the situation but they kept a tight grip around her, to ensure she would stay. Viktor shouted something and the door to the warehouse opened, and they shoved her inside. Unbeknownst to all of them, a man followed them into the building discreetly, to see what would occur. He slipped in without a sound and stayed hidden in the boxes that filled the room. Upon arrival, Alexa was placed at the centre of the room and her wrists were tied to a stool.

Viktor circled around her once before lifting up her chin. "That certainly was rude of you, my dear, chasing me like that. Any particular reason why you wanted me?" he said.

"It's simple, Viktor. I want you to tell me why you tried to shoot at that man in London," she said crisply.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," he replied, unable to fight off a grin.

"Don't toy with me. Why did you try to kill him?" Alexa snapped.

"I was ordered to, Alexa. You should know that by now. It's not like I have any personal grudge against him," he scoffed. Her eyes narrowed at his flippant expression and she glared at him.

"I know you have ties with the Agency and I know you're their main assassin. Why did they send you to kill him?" she said in a dangerously controlled tone. Viktor paused for a moment before deciding to tell her why he did what he had done.

"They know how important he is to you. Or rather, how important he was important to you. They still believe you're dead but they view him as a threat, because they presume you told him all of your filthy little secrets," he said, with the slightest hint of a smile on his lips.

"I see now why you want to go after me so badly. You've endangered him because of your past, you wicked little girl. Additionally, his life, along with yours, is in my hands now because I know something the Agency doesn't know. You're alive," Viktor said as he gave her a toothy grin.

"Don't remind me. I'm already well aware that I've endangered him because of my foolishness," Alexa said, her tone as cold as ice.

"And you strive to undo your wrongdoings, don't you?" he hissed. "You've made a mess of everything, and you're begging me to fix it."

Viktor let out a sharp laugh that cut through the air and grinned at her. She flinched slightly but was forced to look back up into his eyes as he lifted up her chin.

"What are you willing to do, Alexa, for his safety?" he said mockingly.

"Whatever I have to do," she deadpanned.

"Whatever, hmm...? What about this?" Viktor said, leaning in. He forcefully pressed his lips on hers and she struggled to push herself away. Alexa managed to force her face away from his just as his hand clearly made its way up her dress. His hand touched the inside of her thigh, coming dangerously close and she immediately kicked him in the groin, her foot hitting him nose roughly. He swore and hit the ground on his back.

"Don't fucking touch me, you creep!" she shouted, hot tears springing into her eyes. She felt violated and wanted to crush him when the chance arrived. Viktor shouted at the guardsmen and they hit her roughly in the forehead with the pistol. Alexa cried out as the edge of the pistol pierced her skin and blood started to flow down her face.

"I'll cut you a deal, Alexa. I'll leave him alone completely; I won't try to shoot him or harm him in anyway. He'll be out of the picture completely. That is what you want, isn't it?" he said. Alexa took a few breaths to recover but nodded slowly (albeit, reluctantly) and looked into his eyes again.

"What price do I have to pay to make that so?" Alexa said.

"You come back with me to Russia to face the Agency. I get my pay, you get their wrath. If you don't agree, expect the shootings on him to continue," he said.

"Yes," she finally blurted out. "I accept. Just...leave him alone." The atmosphere in the room began to change and Alexa watched as Viktor pulled out his gun. She began to tremble and noted that he had it turned sideways, which was a kill shot. The two other men began to encircle her and she looked around desperately for a means of escape. She had been taught that there was always an out; she just had to find it, and quickly.

"I should've known," she muttered, in order to stall him.

"Shame to waste such a pretty girl like you," he grinned. "Maybe can get some utility out of you before you die."

"I will end you if you so much as lay a hand on me," she hissed, her eyes flashing with anger.

Viktor sighed and shook his head. "You knew what would happen, yet you were foolish enough to agree. You must truly love him, then," he said.

"I may be a fool when it comes to that, but I'm not that big of a fool," Alexa said, baiting him with a new tactic.

"I don't see why you are what you say," Viktor said, tilting his head slightly. She chuckled slightly and looked back up at him.

"Tell the Agency as you bring them my body that their entire database is under something called the proxy virus. It acts as a stand-in, mirroring the information that was there before. However, I added null links and corrupted the files to slow it all down. The information will be sent to outside sources around the world after a certain date and will be taken out of their hands. Even if you kill me, people will still know about Operation Chetiri and act on it," she said smoothly.

Viktor's face screwed up into a look of disgust and Alexa sat stoically in her chair, silently looking for a way out. "You aren't serious, are you?" he said.

"I'm not laughing, am I? Therefore, I must be serious," Alexa said, quirking up an eyebrow.

"You're near death, so you have to be bluffing," he said. Although he refused to believe her, she could hear the worry creeping into his voice. Alexa smiled inwardly and a flicker of a shadow behind Viktor caught her eye. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly at the oddity but she continued to talk.

"I'm not bluffing and you and I both know that. If I was bluffing and you were sure of it, you would have killed me already," Alexa said coolly. Viktor's face reddened with anger and he put the gun against her forehead.

"I could kill you right now, if I wanted to," he hissed.

"But then you wouldn't know how to disable the Virus, or who I will send the information to," Alexa challenged. Her statement caused him to back off and he stood back up.

"Tell me-" he began. A bullet rang out from the darkness and Alexa watched as Viktor ducked forward, falling to dodge the bullet. Alexa took this unexpected cue as her way out and kicked Viktor aside. She leapt onto the balls of her feet and whirled around to use the wooden stool she was tied to as a weapon. Alexa set the stool on the ground and kicked one man aside vertically. Her body formed a 90 degree angle as she kicked and she gripped the stool tightly. The wood creaked loudly with effort and crumbled with the force. In turn, she broke free and hit Viktor in the head with what was left of the wooden stool.

She ducked quickly, barely missing a bullet from the other man and fumbled for Viktor's fallen gun. The man kicked it out of her reach and in retaliation, Alexa knocked the gun he had out of his hand. She knocked him backwards slightly with a punch and kicked high to hit him in the cheek. The man swore as she drew blood from her kick and she flipped back onto her hands swiftly to simultaneously dodge his hit and land hers, which hit him in the face. Alexa spotted the gun on her way back up and grabbed it as soon as she was on her feet. She quickly fired a shot at his head and looked for the other guardsman. As she turned around, she caught a glimpse of the person who had fired the shot earlier. Her eyes widened as she stared into Q's blue-green eyes. Alexa found that she could not speak and stared at him as he pointed a gun at her. She was frozen and had a look in her eyes akin to that of a deer caught in the headlights of an approaching car.

She flinched as he fired a bullet and heard the drop of a body behind her. Alexa opened her eyes and watched as he pushed aside the man he had shot. She recovered quickly from her shock and watched as he shot Viktor without question. There was a look in his eyes that she had never seen before and he seemed colder and more distant than ever before. His look was fierce and something akin to a wolf, who showed no mercy to his unfortunate prey. It seemed that there was also a different, if not deadlier side to Q and she was unsure whether or not to be impressed or terrified.

"Don't touch her," Q muttered as he kicked aside Viktor's body. Alexa watched as he put the gun in his pocket and followed him as he grabbed her wrist and began leading her out the door. As they walked, she turned to face him and glared at him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she blurted out, sounding both surprised and utterly furious. Q did not say a word and instead, kept his other hand in a tightly closed fist to the side. She did not hear any shouts from behind them; nevertheless, the two ran faster through the darkened halls of the warehouse. They exited the building and made their way to a car hidden in the shadows of the back alley. She went into the passenger seat and moments later, the car sped off into the streets.

They drove silently through the streets like ghosts in the night, saying absolutely nothing to each other. Alexa could now sense that he was incredibly angry (more so than she was at him) and retreated quickly. Arguing or even attempting to reason with him now was a futile effort; he was a Holmes, all logic and reason, and he would verbally murder any point she could make with another one that worked as well for him. Thus, she refrained from speaking in order to keep him from getting angrier at her. His hands were tight around the wheel and he did not make any effort to look at her. They made several sporadic turns and finally, they stopped at a red light and he began to speak.

"Where are your things?" he said as they waited. His voice was low and had an undertone of fury that scared her more than anything she had been through. She hated having him angry at her and it left a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Take a left at that light over there. It should be around that way," she said, her hands trembling slightly as her body attempted to recover from the stress phase it had gone through earlier. She was shaking with an emotion she could not define and her voice sounded more vulnerable than it had before. He drove forward at the sight of the green light and then retreated into silence once more. Alexa hesitantly gave him directions from time to time before they finally arrived at the bed and breakfast she was staying at.

When they finally parked at the curb, Alexa sprung out and hustled up the stairs, unable to stand the silence any longer. She tossed her various items into her suitcase and headed downstairs in about five minutes. Alexa paid the couple that owned the bed and breakfast and headed to the car once more.

She placed her valise in the back and took her seat at the front once more. They retreated into the same silence and she found that she could not bring herself to look at him. Alexa even went through an entire airplane ride without saying anything. They merely sat there, with Q's hands in tight fists all the while. She could not tell if it was because of the plane, as he had mentioned to her that he hated planes, or if it was due to his fury. Naturally, she sided with the latter.

They stepped off the plane and acquired their luggage before heading out. Alexa found that at this point, it was better not to questions; rather, she would let Q lead her for now. As she had expected, she was placed in the car and once more, he drove her in silence to a townhouse in the city.

After grabbing her things, Alexa attempted to recollect her jumbled thoughts and walked up the steps. She strode quietly behind Q and entered his home, not knowing exactly what to expect. It was silent in the house and neither of them had said anything to each other ever since they left Turin. She saw his hands in fists at his sides and knew that he was tense. He had, after all, been tense for the past hour or so. Alexa impulsively grabbed him by the hand and watched as he flinched from the feeling of her skin on his.

"Q, are you alright?" she said softly. Something seemed to spark to life inside of him that took her by surprise. In the blink of an eye, he had his hand cupping her chin and was kissing her roughly. Her suitcase fell carelessly at the base of the stairs, forgotten in the heat of the moment. Alexa did not protest and wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers entwining in his soft, brown curls. His lips tasted faintly of Earl Grey and his tongue danced wildly against hers, barely letting up for air. Q's mouth pressed down on hers somewhat forcefully, but she found that she did not mind. This, in fact, caused her to kiss him with more passion than ever before and he pinned her against the wall, her body fitting against his almost naturally. She pulled her body closer to his and rested slightly, her fingers on his shoulder blades.

"Q, what are you doing?" she asked softly, pulling away from him so that their noses were touching slightly.

"I thought you were dead," he said, his voice sounding almost like a low growl.

"I had to lie, so I could go out and eliminate things that threaten both of us," she whispered.

"Alexa, we both know how dangerous that is. You would've died there if I hadn't followed you. They would've desecrated and humiliated you in the most inhuman way possible before killing you," he growled.

"I know that," she said softly, fully aware that he was right. Alexa hesitated for a moment, before deciding to ask what was really on her mind. "Are you really going to be okay?"

He leaned in again and she felt his grip tighten around her waist. "I. Am. Perfectly. Fine," he said in between kisses. Q's lips then proceeded to explore different areas of her body, his lips trailing up and down her neck and against the top of her décolletage. A soft moan escaped her lips and he silenced it with another kiss. She realized then that she wasn't entirely sure of what was going on, but she wasn't objecting to any of it. Their kisses seemed to grow almost fervent now before reaching a fever pitch in the darkness of the room.

Without warning, Q hoisted her up and brought her upstairs without breaking their kiss. She did not seem to mind and relished each sensation she could feel from their kisses. They sent a rush through her veins that was incomparable to anything else. Although both of them knew that this night would not last and their pleasures would soon subside to leave an awkward situation, neither of them seemed to mind. Neither one of them had died tonight and that was what seemed to be the most important thing. Alexa decided quickly to leave the problems for tomorrow and enjoy the time she had with him that was not spent in awkward, unbearable silence.

She finally had him, and he finally had her and that was all that mattered now.


	22. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another addition! Hope you like it!

_We are mere gates, strings of tension waiting to be struck._

_**-Ralph Waldo Emerson** _

* * *

Sunlight streamed in from the window and warmed Q's skin as he lay in bed. He shifted slightly but continued to stare up at the ceiling. The events that had transpired last night (and yesterday, for that matter) were surprising and he found them, quite honestly, to be unreal.

He could only stare at the sleeping figure next to him. She was nestled against him, her head resting against his bare shoulder. Alexa looked almost like a child whilst she was asleep, as if she was finally at peace and had nothing to worry about. He thought she looked perfect as she lay here with him, save for the fact that she had lied to him for about a year on who she really was.

Upon arriving at this thought, his view of Alexa began to change again and what he saw now was not as perfect and unblemished as before; she was a liar, tainted by the blood of others. His anger flared up again and he sighed, not wanting to dwell too much on those thoughts now. For now, all that mattered was that his slap-dash rescue mission had actually been a success and she was here, alive and relatively unharmed.

His mind began to drift towards different thoughts, mainly what she really was to him. Q was unsure of what to define her, especially after the events that had unfolded last night. In his mind, it seemed almost indecent to call her his lover. Lovers were somewhat detached, and met sporadically, mostly only for sex. She, on the other hand, had nearly died on several occasions to protect him. He knew her secret about the Agency, and he felt that they both had gone through far too much to have him address her as such. However, Q wasn't too sure of calling her his girlfriend yet either. Initially, he doubted she would even agree to such a thing but at this point, he wasn't even sure anymore.

He glanced down at her and watched her silently for a moment, before placing a hesitant hand on her hair. She stirred slightly, but it did not seem to bother her; rather, it seemed to comfort her. Q smoothed her hair down repeatedly, a gentle motion that caused her to curl up against him and sigh softly. He had no idea what she was feeling and in all honesty, neither did he. Q was assaulted with a barrage of contradictory emotions that were currently forcing him to choose: love her or hate her.

It was undeniable that he did love her, but there was that same anger that still remained. Such a feeling left him in a weird grey area between the two choices and he had no idea what to feel. Panic gripped his chest upon realizing that he was completely unsure of what to do. Oh, how he hated uncertainty! Love, in his eyes, was better if it worked like numbers and equations, in the way that they were precise and had certain foreseeable outcomes. Such consistency, however, did not apply when it came to love. In a split second, he found what seemed to be the best option to his current dilemma- go.

Q carefully slid out of bed and Alexa rested her head against a pillow, not opening her eyes. He moved quietly around the room, threw his old clothes in the laundry bin, and grabbed new ones before folding Alexa's clothes neatly at the foot of the bed. Q wrote her a simple note about having her coffee downstairs but wrote nothing more. She stirred slightly but did not awaken and Q stared silently at her for one moment more. Her dark hair was splayed out against the stark white pillow and for once, she did not look afraid; she looked to be somewhat satisfied.

He let out a sigh before turning to head downstairs. Q felt that he wasn't running, per se. He just needed time to think about what had happened. He proceeded downstairs to make coffee for both of them before he left for work. Q hoped she would see why he left and figured that it would be better to leave her be whilst he was considering his feelings.

In all honesty, he really hoped she would understand.

* * *

Alexa did not hear soft, rhythmic breathing next to her like she had expected and instead heard nothing but silence. Her eyes flew open in panic upon realizing this and she felt around the bed, in the hopes that she wasn't alone. The side next to her was cold and as she lay in the middle of his bed, she felt cold disappointment sinking into her heart.

She was alone.

Alexa sat up, pulling the blanket closer to her body, and noticed her dress and her other clothes folded neatly in a pile at the foot of the bed. She spotted a note on top of the clothes and picked it up, unfolding it to see what it said.

_Alexa,_

_I've left for work already, but there's coffee downstairs for you._

_-Q_

Alexa flipped it over, to see if it said anything else. To her dismay, however, it was blank. There was no good morning nor anything to explain what had happened last night. All he had left her was a pile of neatly folded clothes, possibly cold coffee, and a heart full of disappointment and confusion.

Alexa let out a soft sigh and threw on her clothes, leaving only the dress on the bed. She found a white shirt underneath the dress and put it on (along with her undergarments), the shirt flowing loosely past her thighs. The young woman examined herself in the mirror for the briefest of moments before deciding that it would be alright to go downstairs like this. After all, she was the only one here.

Alexa trudged downstairs and entered the kitchen, where she saw her coffee sitting on the counter. She put it in the microwave for a little while before taking it and sitting at the table. Alexa placed the newly warmed cup to her lips and took a sip. It tasted exactly how she liked it and the thought that he remembered how she liked her coffee even though she had left him for months made her smile slightly.

Her smile soon faded when she realized that the gesture was polite, nothing more. He had left her alone, with no explanation of why they had slept together and merely gave her coffee to maintain civility. Alexa soon began to see that things had changed drastically between them after last night and felt that she needed to do at least something to break their streak of silence.

However, it became evident that this would not be possible. He did leave her without anything more than a note and it was obvious that after last night, he wanted to distance himself from her. Alexa understood that Q was that sort of person; he was the type who tended to over think love and needed time to think about relationships.

With that, she realized that she had to leave. She was not needed here now but would stay in the general vicinity if he managed to figure it out. Alexa planned to stay in the safe house on Compton Road and headed upstairs to grab her things. She changed into a new pair of clothes and took her things, leaving an equally brief note for Q that told him where she had gone.

Alexa headed out the door and into the street, where she flagged down a taxi. As she drove away, she felt a pang of disappointment and wished that things hadn't ended up like this. She was tired of avoiding Q and wanted him. Alexa needed his love to make things right again and wanted to get closer, like before. However, she had to keep her distance. That was what he wanted and she would respect that. If he wanted to avoid her that badly, to the point of leaving her after sleeping with her, then she would avoid him too. Although it was hard, she knew it was necessary and hoped that it would set things right between them once more.

* * *

Q stepped into M's office later that evening, sparing Eve a passing hello on his way in. The older man looked up and greeted Q, whilst wondering what he had come to ask him.

"Ah, Q. I rarely see you in here. Is something the matter?" M asked.

"Yes, actually. I'm afraid I need a little advice," Q said as he took a seat in front of his desk.

"Ask away," M began. He paused for a moment before realizing why he had come.

"This is about Alexa, isn't it? Bond told me you went after her," he said.

"Yes, actually. I came back with her from Turin last night and she stayed with me for the evening," Q said.

"Hmm. Your dilemma is...?"

"You see, sir, I'm not entirely sure of how to proceed with the situation she presents. She had asked me to help her eliminate a set of figures called the Agency. I am fully aware that this could require MI6 services and I'm not sure if that's the best option to proceed with, as it may involve us in a fight with the Russians," Q said.

"I see what you mean. However, you do want to help her, correct?" M said. The question was out of left field and seemed to throw Q off. His eyes flickered with a new emotion before morphing back into its usual aloof look.

"Yes, but I don't think bringing down the country with me would be the best way to do it," Q said. M leaned back in his chair and looked at him for a moment before resting his elbows on the table.

"I think I may have a solution to that dilemma, but I still need time to think about it. For now, have Alexa stay with you. That should keep her out of trouble for a bit. I'll make my decision in a few days," M said.

"But-" Q protested. He stopped himself quickly and fell silent, causing M to raise an eyebrow.

"Something the matter, Q?" he said. Q clamped his mouth shut and shook his head.

"Nothing. Tell me when you've decided," he said. Q said goodbye before leaving the room and stepping into the hallway. He walked back into the Q-Branch (which was now empty), grabbed his things, and headed down to the Tube station to go home. Q went through a relatively silent train ride, save for a bum loudly advocating political rights in the corner, and walked with his hands in his pockets to the house.

He input several different codes into the door before walking inside the darkened home. Q wondered why it was empty and looked around for Alexa. He walked into the kitchen and tossed his keys on the counter before padding into the living room. "Alexa? Are you here?" he called. There was no reply and his brow furrowed slightly as he wondered where she was. Q searched the entire house before finding a note on the kitchen counter. It was brief, much like the one he had left her, and he opened it up fully.

_14 Compton Road  
Islington, London N1, UK_

_I'll be here if you need me._

_-Alexa_

Q set the note down with a sigh, before running a hand through his hair. It seemed that she had indeed understood that he needed time to think about what had happened. However, he wasn't all too happy with pushing her away. He wanted to say something, but what was there to say? He didn't even understand his own feelings.

Although he didn't understand what to feel, he knew that he still had to carry out what M had told him to do. Q grabbed his coat and walked out the door, to head to Compton Road. He went back the way he had come from and walked from Highbury Station to Alexa's street. He looked up at the house numbers before arriving in front of a plain white townhouse. The bin had been pulled out but other than that, it looked barely lived in.

He went up the steps and knocked on the door, carefully choosing what he would tell her once he saw her. It felt strange to consider what to say in front of her. Q heard footsteps approaching the door and Alexa opened the door, her eyes widening at the sight of him.

Alexa stared at him for a moment, trying her best not to look taken aback. "Oh," she said. "Did you...need me for something?"

At this, the words seemed to fly out of Q's brain and he fumbled for something to say. "Um, yes, actually," he said, regaining his composure. His expression turned aloof once more and he placed his hands in his pockets. "M told me to keep you at my place until he makes a decision."

Alexa's facial expression seemed to change as well and she merely nodded. "I'll grab my things, then," she said softly as she turned away and hurried upstairs.

He remained standing and began to look around. He noted that the flat was spartan, with no papers or books lying about anywhere, nor any family photographs on the mantle. All she had was a couch, a coffee table, and a lamp. The house itself seemed empty and rather detached, in a sense. It could belong to both anybody and no one at all. He realized that she had lived like this for nine months and that it seemed lonely, to live a wandering life. There was no one else to talk to and you were stuck inside plain white walls in a barren flat, lest you decide to go outside and risk being caught.

He watched her rush around the house, taking her things from the flat before finally coming back with a suitcase that was filled with everything that she had taken here. "Let's head back," she said as she headed down the stairs. They shut the door to the house before climbing into Alexa's car and driving down the streets of London in silence.

Throughout the entire ride, Alexa did not say a word to him, much less look at him. Her hands were grasped firmly around the steering wheel and she silently stared forward. She thought of asking him about what had happened but merely bit her lip and inwardly shook her head, deeming that thought to be unimportant. It would be grossly inappropriate for her to ask him what he thought they were at the moment, especially after what had happened. They were...acquaintances now, but she did like him quite a bit. She honestly didn't know what he thought of her and was now stuck at an odd place that was indefinable and undeniably uncomfortable to be in.

Another cause of discomfort to Alexa was the fact that she was, indeed, under direct orders to stay with him. She knew that it would be undeniably awkward to be around him (especially whilst he was sorting his emotions out) and did not want to trouble him, especially with the dreams she had each night.

It seemed childish to be afraid of such a thing, but she seldom slept because of the dreams she had. They were memories of scattered events in her past (with two definite recurring ones). On some days, she was lucky and dreamt of nothing, but other days, she was not. The dreams, when they came, would mostly cause her to wake up screaming. Sleeping medication seemed to help by eliminating the risk of her terrifying nightly recollections altogether. Alexa was afraid to let him see her like that and was honestly unsure of what he would do. The fear she showed because of these dreams was a fear that she had only experienced by herself and did not dare to impose it on others. If he saw her like that, it could either cause them to become closer (through the process of consolation) or scare him away.

Naturally, she chose the latter option.

Q watched her quietly as they sat in traffic. He took note of her hands gripping the wheel and her odd fixation on whatever was in front of her. as if she was deliberately trying to keep herself from looking at him. In the few moments he had been with her, he noticed that she frequently became distant, almost lost in her thoughts (like she looked now). She looked worried when she thought he wasn't watching, like she was fretting over what had occurred between them. As he watched her, he could see that her mind was everywhere and nowhere, all at once.

They sat quietly on the drive home and Alexa found that she did not know what to say to him; ergo, she chose to say nothing. She saw Q glancing at her periodically from the corner of her eye but chose not to acknowledge it. Alexa somehow convinced herself that he was merely looking at her for observational purposes, nothing more. However, he wasn't just giving her a glance; there were about a million things Q wanted to ask her at the moment. His dilemma was, on the other hand, that he didn't know where to start; ergo, he was left giving her awkward, cursory glances that struck him with a certain pang of worry that did not leave easily.

Alexa noted his glances and found that she did not like having him watch her like that. It was like there was something severely wrong with her and he was trying to figure out what it was. She didn't want to trouble him and did whatever she could do to maintain her indifferent façade, to make things less awkward. As they sat in traffic on the way to Q's home on Hanson Street, Alexa could not bear the silence and decided to ask him something that troubled her greatly: What happened last night?

"Q," she began as she turned to look at him.

"What?" he said, glancing over at her. It had been evident that he had been thinking and she had interrupted it. The cold, forbidding look in his eyes was enough to make her stop short in her sentence. There was a sudden flash of fear in her eyes that she quickly subdued by looking forward again.

"N-nothing," she mumbled. She turned away, looking embarrassed and made no effort to look at him once more. They arrived at his home shortly thereafter and Alexa stood up to take the suitcase out of her car. Q, ever the gentleman, walked to the backseat and went to take out her suitcase as well. As he reached for it, he felt his fingers lock around hers and she pulled back, like she had been burnt. Alexa stepped forward again and reached for the case. "I'll grab it," she said softly. Q merely shrugged it off and shut the car door before heading to the front door with her.

As they walked up the stairs, he noted her expression. She did not seem as approachable as before; rather, her hands were tight around the suitcase and her lips were pressed together, making him wonder what was on her mind now. Alexa met his eye accidentally once more and looked away quickly, before stepping into the house.

They walked into his home, a mid-sized townhouse with a distinct charm to it. Q stood at the foyer and put in several pass codes to open the foyer door. He reached over to the side of the doorframe and popped out a small panel, where he pressed his thumb on a scanner. Alexa raised an eyebrow at the sheer amount of security measures he had on the front door and looked at him oddly.

"Was all of that really necessary?" she asked.

"I am the Quartermaster for the MI6, Alexa. Anything could happen, so I have to be prepared," he replied coolly as he walked in. She merely shrugged to herself and silently admitted to herself that his door was still bloody clever (as expected of Q, of course).

As she followed him, Alexa observed her new surroundings with quiet approval. It was a lovely house, with a living room to the right and a staircase and hallway in front of them. The living room had light grey walls and a television set on it. On the other wall were two bookshelves that were filled to the brim with books. They were separated by a painting that hung above a light brown, plaid patterned arm chair and a reading lamp. In the corner sat a black grand piano that was worn with age, with more books stacked beside it. A comfortable looking dark blue couch had been placed against the entrance to the kitchen and a small coffee table with even more books on top of it sat in the middle of the room, atop a black rug with sporadic white stripes. The room was masculinely coloured and with all of the books lying around, it was definitely decorated to reflect Q's tastes. However, the one thing she found odd was the fact that the room was fairly clean, which was a stark contrast to Q's chaotically "organized" desk at the Q-Branch.

"Your room's upstairs, the first door on the left," he said as he headed into the kitchen. "I'll make something for dinner, so come down after you put your things up."

"Alright," she said as she headed to her room. Alexa's footsteps were muffled by the carpet as she went up the stairs and she opened the door into a quaint little guest room. The walls were a light blue and a bed sat across from the window. It was unsettlingly tidy, once again, and she made a mental note to ask him about the tidiness sometime.

She looked around somewhat desperately for something to distract her from looking at him and her eyes lit up as she looked at her suitcase. Alexa pulled out a pencil and her files before heading back downstairs. She went into the living room and into the kitchen before taking a seat at the stools on the counter. Q glanced up slightly, barely acknowledging that she was even there, before turning back to his cooking. Alexa looked at him for a moment and sighed softly as she glanced back down at her work.

She opened the file and began monitoring locations where the remaining members of the Agency had been spotted. It was a tedious, time consuming process by hand that would take a day or two with a computerized process. However, she needed to distract herself somehow from speaking to him and decided that this would be the best thing to fill the silence in between.

As she worked, Q watched her discreetly and covered it up effectively by pretending he was looking at something else. He took note of her various thinking habits, like how she bit her lip slightly and wrung her hands as she worked. Q smiled slightly at knowing her old habits had not died and found himself silently admiring the way her hair fell gracefully over her shoulder. She caught him glancing at her simply by accident and he quickly looked back down at the carrot he was cutting somewhat guiltily. Alexa wanted to say something about it, but she felt apprehensive of what he would say and where it would lead. She opened her mouth initially but suddenly pressed her lips shut and continued to work. Q continued to look at her before finally grabbing her by the hand out of impulse.

"Alexa, for God's sake, what is it?" he asked. She stiffened at his touch and shook her head.

"N-nothing," she mumbled. Alexa didn't want him to see how worried she was about all of this and attempted to hide it.

"You were going to say something," Q insisted. "Something bothering you?"

"It's nothing. I'm fine," she said. Her voice wavered slightly and the look in her eyes gave away that she was anything but alright. There was an emotion akin to fear in her gaze and she turned away.

"It's me, isn't it?" he said softly. Alexa blinked slightly and shook her head, not wanting to show him that he was the reason for her distress.

"Am I making you nervous?" Q said.

"No, it's not you. Nothing's wrong, Q. Just forget it," Alexa replied, giving him a half-hearted smile. Q frowned and folded his arms across his chest. Her heart was pounding when she saw his expression and she felt fear arise in her heart again. She had to stop here, right now, before anything else happened.

He saw her apprehension and noted that she did not want to talk. In turn, he merely shook it off and they sat together, eating quietly and giving each other awkward, occasional glances. When they were finished, Alexa helped him clear the table. After they were done washing dishes, she headed upstairs without another word.

She then proceeded to sit on the floor cross-legged and began unpacking her things. Alexa laid her guns on the floor in order and began to wipe them off. These were her only allies at the moment, as they were the only things that had kept her alive as she went on reconnaissance and informational missions in her long absence. In turn, she was incredibly grateful for them and honestly owed her life to them. She polished them until she had removed traces of blood from the guns and was completely engrossed in her work, to the point where she did not hear Q walk in a half hour later. He was now wearing a pair of black pyjama pants and a sleeved grey shirt and he ran a hand through his damp (but nonetheless curly) brown hair.

He saw her polishing her last gun, a sniper rifle, and blinked in surprise as he walked in. It shouldn't have surprised him but for a smaller woman like Alexa, toting around a big gun like that, it was unexpected and somewhat humorous. She had not noticed that he came in and stopped polishing, upon realising that she had not taken her medicine. Alexa stood up with her back turned and opened a bottle of sleeping pills for later. Alexa popped the pills in her mouth and took a sip of water, before turning around again to start cleaning. She nearly choked on her water as she saw Q standing in the doorway. He raised an eyebrow at the bottles of sleep medicine she had in her hand.

"I don't think guns and medication really mix well, Alexa," he said, with his hands in his pockets.

"I know they don't, but they have to coincide in my world. I wouldn't be able to get anything done otherwise," she said softly. He shifted uncomfortably for a moment, no doubt noting the civil yet awkward aura hanging over them and looked at her again.

"Are you okay here?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she said, standing up. "I'll just shower and head off to bed."

"Good night, then," Q said, giving her a slight smile. It was the first smile she had seen from him in a while and it made her feel somewhat better about being here.

"Good night. Thank you saving me back there and for letting me be here," she said softly, shoving her hands in her pockets.

"You're welcome, I suppose," he murmured. They stared silently at each other, not knowing what to say or do. Q could choose to leave, but it felt wrong for leaving her hanging like that. Likewise, she could turn away but there was something that felt wrong about it. She paused with uncertainty for a moment before letting go of all inhibitions and giving him a quick kiss.

Q hesitated initially but leaned in and kissed her in return anyway, for reasons he could not define. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer as she put her arms around his neck, with her fingers in his soft, brown curls. They kissed each other eagerly, wanting nothing more than to release that distinct, awkward tension they had felt towards each other that day. Her heart was pounding erratically and they both felt an emotion that left them breathless and somewhat lightheaded, all from simple kisses. Before they knew it, Alexa felt her back touch the soft fabric of the comforter on the bed and she pressed her lips against his, not wanting to let go anytime soon. She'd wanted his love for a long time now and knew that he wanted hers too. However, upon realizing that this could quickly go further than he had intended (like last night had), Q pulled away suddenly.

Alexa let out a small, displeased groan and sat up. Their contact had been brief and rather unexpected, but that didn't mean she didn't like it. She looked up at him, with her pink lips and her curious eyes and before she could ask him why he had stopped, he looked away from her, to keep himself from staying any longer.

"Q, wait-" she began.

"Good night, Alexa," he said firmly, without another word. He left the room suddenly and she let out a sigh, knowing that she had screwed everything up, yet again. She'd never felt like that before and it was odd, for someone to leave her breathless by merely kissing her.

Alexa tried to let it go and headed off to the bathroom in the corner of the bedroom. She took a quick shower and tried to get her mind off of the events that had just transpired, all to no avail. Alexa let out a frustrated groan and lay down, staring at the ceiling. She was not sure of when it happened, but she soon drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Over the next two days, Alexa was forced to endure an uncomfortable and alien state of civility with the man she loved. Q was distant from her now, more so than he had ever been before. He was only talking to her if it was completely necessary (which it wasn't, usually). There was a deafening silence around the house whenever they were together and it made her uneasy. Alexa had tried to ease her discomfort by attempting to casually converse with him, but he never responded. She felt like a stranger, even though she was around someone she had known well.

On the evening of the third day she had been with him, she felt as if she was reaching her emotional threshold. Alexa felt strained and tired of maintaining this façade, that everything was fine. Her brain felt weary from thinking so much about what to say and how to act around him. She let out a sigh as she dried a cup she had used and set it down with shaking hands.

Alexa missed the counter completely and flinched as the cup shattered to the floor. It crashed loudly, breaking into small and large shards on the ground. Q looked up from his position on the counter, but he did not ask if she was alright; he merely watched her. She was standing there, merely staring at the shards on the floor. One small piece had pierced her ankle and she watched the blood drip onto her foot. Alexa stood motionlessly, before finally springing to life and throwing the shards in the bin. She did not seem to care that she was bleeding and threw the glass away with more than a hint of aggression in her actions.

The sound of the glass hitting the bottom of the bin pierced her brain and she tossed it in there, not wanting to see it. This silence between them was killing her inside and her emotions deafened her, leaving no room for her to figure out what she was truly thinking. She needed to leave him for a bit, just to clear her mind.

"Alexa," Q began as he watched her wipe the blood off her ankle.

"I'm going on a walk," she growled, flinging the blood-stained napkin in the bin. Alexa completely disregarded the fact that it was almost eight o'clock in the evening; instead, she turned away without looking at him, threw on her coat, and walked out without another word.

She stepped out onto the sidewalk, breathing in the cold night air. Alexa instantly regretted her choice of clothing (a pair of leggings and a loose white shirt) but told herself to forget it. There was no way she was going back. She began to walk swiftly to the end of the block and towards the park down the road, where she could sit down alone and think for a while. Her steps fell in time with her breathing and before she knew it, she was running down the sidewalk in a blur of black and white. Tears did not fall from her eyes. Rather, the bitterness of being treated like a stranger by the man she loved was hitting her hard and she did not want to even see him right now.

Her heart was pounding and she quickly changed her course of action. She took a turn before walking down the street and into the Tube Station. She could only think of one place to go where she could release her aggression and calm down. Alexa fumbled around in her coat pocket for her wallet and swiped her card, before taking a seat at the benches.

She headed down towards the Baker Street way to Huntington Boulevard, where there was an indoor shooting range. Alexa headed out of the station and went down two blocks before arriving at the doorstep. The open sign flickered in the doorway and she rushed in, eager to get out of the cold.

The man sitting at the front counter looked up as she walked in. He was munching lackadaisically on a Snickers Bar and he raised an eyebrow at Alexa. "We're closing in about an hour," he said, his mouth half full.

"I won't be here for long," she said, laying down some money on the table. "It's a non-member price for a rental, right?"

"Fair enough," the man said as he counted her money. He went into the back room and handed her a pistol before taking a bite of his candy. "Go wild."

Alexa wordlessly took the gun and headed backstairs, before putting on a pair of ear covers. She stared at the target before her and began shooting, to release some of the aggression she held inside of her. Each shot she landed was specifically placed; she usually aimed for the head but would quickly switch to aim for the heart. As she continued to shoot, she felt herself becoming more relaxed and the stress began to fade away. All that was with her now was a loaded gun and a heart full of stress that needed to be relieved.

She fired her last shot before she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was the same man from the counter and he pointed to the clock. Alexa took off the protective cover on her ears and shook her hair out of a ponytail. "Thank you," she said, handing the now empty gun to the man.

"Wow," he said in awe as he pulled up the target she shot at. The shots were precise and she barely missed the circles, by half an inch. The man stared at the paper again before staring at her. "You do this often?"

"Oh yeah," Alexa said as she walked to the door. She opened it before looking back at him. "But I'm nothing more than a...shooting enthusiast, passing by."

She left him in stunned silence and made her way back to the house. Alexa walked in the first door with the key Q gave her and took off her shoes in the foyer. She put her finger on the buzzer and asked for permission to come in, before standing at the doorstep.

"Where have you been?" Q said as he opened the door.

"Nowhere," Alexa said nonchalantly as she walked in. She went past him without another word and he caught a faint whiff of gunpowder in the air as she walked by.

"At the range, then?" he asked.

"I'm an assassin. Where else would I be?" she said crisply, with a twinge of sarcasm in her voice.

Q watched her head upstairs and let out a sigh.  _She's irritated with how I've been acting_ , he thought. Q realized that his behavior wasn't exactly fair to her, because she had actually been civil enough to attempt a little interaction over the past few days. Even he could sense it, and he was less adept at detecting social cues. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked upstairs, in the hopes of actually saying something to her other than mere, commonplace sentences.

In the days that he had been with her, he had been considering exactly what he was feeling about her and had come to something akin to a conclusion. He did, indeed, love her, but what could he say to show it? Q was a Holmes, which in turn, meant he was cold and somewhat emotionally detached. He was never exactly taught how to show love to someone else and his relationship with Kate Winston had been what seemed like ages ago. Q was, in a sense, out of practice and completely clueless as to what he should do.

He knocked softly on Alexa's door and waited for her to open it, in the hopes that she wasn't too angry. Q had a vague plan of what he was going to say and he waited for her to open the door. He shifted in his spot slightly and looked up as she poked her head out.

"What?" she said, looking neither pleased nor irritated. The sight of her seemed to leave him tongue tied and he fumbled for something to say, so as not to stand there awkwardly.

After a few moments, he suddenly remembered that M had called whilst she was out and his eyes flickered back up towards hers. "M called while you were out. He wants to see you tomorrow morning as soon as possible," he said, his tone cool and collected. Her eyebrow quirked up questioningly but she merely nodded.

"I'll make sure to see him tomorrow. Good night," she said, her tone equally cool. Alexa closed the door without another word, leaving Q outside to sigh softly to himself. She was still somewhat angry and he felt guilty for having to do this type of thing with her, which was an odd feeling for him to experience. Q shoved his hands in his pockets and walked to his room without another word. He hoped that he would be able to fix this matter soon, so they could live together without this distinct tension.


	23. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't really a new addition, more of a mix. There are new bits so I hope you like it!

_Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within._

_**-James A. Baldwin** _

* * *

_**(October 28, 2013- 7:10 AM)** _

Alexa stood in front of the bathroom mirror that morning, making ready to see M. Today, she wore a black wrap dress with a pair of black heels that had a red backing. Her hair was shifted to one side and her expression was frigid and emotionless. She looked cold and calculating, as if she truly meant business today.

She walked out of the room and down the stairs to grab a cup of coffee for the morning. Q was already at the kitchen, wearing his regular ensemble of a dress shirt, slightly rumpled cardigan, and slacks. He turned to look as she came into the kitchen and she gave him a mirthless smile. "Good morning," she said politely.

"Good morning," he said, passing her a cup of coffee. He could not help but look twice at her appearance and noted that she looked colder today, as if she was purposely guarding her heart. She had a fierce gleam in her eye, like she was ready to fight, but that was all. He saw no other emotion on her face and it seemed that she did not intend to show any other emotion in the least.

As they ate quietly, they chose to disregard small talk. It seemed irrelevant, in moments like these, and both of them were unwilling to say anything. Alexa would frequently draw her gaze away from him on purpose, in order to avoid any confrontation of any sort. She washed their dishes in silence and left afterwards to prepare for the day. Alexa emerged from the bathroom with her bag and slipped on her coat in the foyer. She saw Q waiting with his things and nodded at him. "Let's go," she said.

Their way to the building was completely silent. Even as they walked through the halls, nothing but silence filled the air around them, aside from the clack of their shoes against the floor. No one was really here yet, not even Tanner or Eve. Alexa opened the door to M's office and stepped inside, ready for battle.

"Good morning," she said, her expression calm and collected. M looked up from his desk and his eyes flickered with surprise.

"Ah, good morning, Alexa, Q," he said, nodding to each of them, respectively. "Take a seat; this news might surprise you."

Alexa did as she was instructed and took a seat, folding her hands calmly in her lap. M could sense some sort of tension between them that he thought was natural, due to the fact that she had pretended to be dead for the past nine months. "I understand you require the help of our Quartemaster," M said

"That's correct," she said coolly.

"No."

The word came out of M's lips, grim and full of displeasure. He glared at Alexa with a steely glint in his eyes, and she responded with a look of chilling apathy. He glanced at her once more and set his hands on the table. "I refuse to let you endanger the life of my Quartermaster, Alexa. I've lost one already, so what makes you think I'm willing to let go of another one?" he said.

"I'm sure you've been informed of my situation, M. You know the circumstances and you damn well know that my hands are tied. This definitely isn't my first choice, but sadly, this is the only option I have that could possibly fix this mess," Alexa said smoothly.

"And why should I even consider helping you fix this mess? It could damage Britain's relations with the Russians. We're on thin ice already," he said.

"Well, these people don't exactly belong to Russia. They belonged to the Soviet Union, so technically, they can't interfere with Russia's current government affairs," Alexa stated matter-of-factly.

"Who are they, then?"

"They're the outliers, the ones that form crime syndicates and conduct illegal dealings for their benefit. The objective of Operation Chetiri has gone from bringing favour to Mother Russia to bringing favour to themselves, all at the cost of the unwilling manipulation of children," she said, with her Russian accent becoming more pronounced with the fervor in her voice.

"Think about the repercussions this could have, Alexa. Although they aren't supposed to interfere with Russia's affairs, the Agency could still have ties to the government. This program could still be government funded today, for all we know, and we might instigate a full-scale war and endanger the lives of millions of people in Britain if we aren't careful," M argued.

"This isn't about Britain anymore, M. I'm sure that you're fully aware that when those children in this program grow up, they are more than capable of bringing nations to their knees and they can threaten the lives of others across the globe," Q pointed out.

"Correct," Alexa said, her r's rolling quite noticeably as she folded her arms across her chest. "We don't know what they're planning, but we need to eliminate it, for everyone's sake."

There was a pause as M considered his words carefully, in order to address the elephant in the room. "You're wrong, you know," M said softly.

"What?" Alexa said, looking confused.

"These people aren't as distant as you make them to be. I'm sure you know their tactics. You are one of them, a killer, and we both know that old habits die hard. Although you've turned your back on them now, how can we be sure this isn't an act and you won't double-cross us?" he said sternly. Alexa fell silent and Q, knowing that M had breached a sensitive topic, glared at him.

"This is all based on speculation, M. Alexa's changed and if there's one thing I'm certain of, there's no way Alexa's going to turn back to the same people that more or less ruined her life," Q argued.

"Q, we don't have a sure fire way to tell if she will betray us. Alexa is a talented liar, if she's made it this far, and for all we know, she coul-" M shot back. Alexa cleared her throat and he stopped mid-sentence, seeing that she was giving him a pointed stare.

"M, I watched as they killed my parents. They stole me away to learn how to lie, steal, and above all, to kill. These people took everything I had and brought pain and destruction with them. Now, I ask you, why would I possibly turn to the very people that made my life a living hell for the past thirteen years?" Alexa said bitterly, with a dangerous gleam in her eyes. The look was enough for M to know that he had gone too far to accuse her of even considering double-crossing them. He leaned back slightly, noting the determination in her eyes, and rested his hands against his chin.

"What is your proposed plan of action?" M said carefully.

"I must investigate leads and find where these people are. I can't let Operation Chetiri go on and I need to eliminate this program completely, unless you want Russia to mass produce more killers to threaten everyone's safety," she said. M sat silently for a moment, weighing in the pros and cons of following through with her plan before leaning forward again.

"I won't let you endanger the life of my only Quartermaster, not without good reason. However..." he said, folding his hands on top of each other. "Tell me, Alexa, what are you willing to do for this country?"

The question was unexpected and threw her off a bit, but she recovered quickly. "Whatever is necessary, I suppose," she said coolly.

"Then I'll give you a deal. The only way I can allow you to receive our help is if I make you into a 00-Agent, 008 specifically," he said.

"You're joking," she said after a moment. This was not at all what she had expected, which caused her to panic slightly.

"I don't make jokes, Alexa. You've been selected to be 008 and all I need to formally introduce you as an agent is for you to take the entrance examination," he said.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" Q said from his side of the room, looking surprised. He froze a bit, knowing exactly what this meant for both of them, and waited for an explanation.

"If she accepts, then she'll be 008 and we can properly help her. Alexa, you still have this crisis with the Agency and I can guarantee you that you're going to have to kill more people. If you want to proceed with your plans without getting in trouble with foreign police forces, you're going to need 00-agent status," he said.

Alexa fell silent and as much as she hated to admit it, she knew he was right. "You're right," she said softly. "But I don't want you to be." M leant forward slightly and looked at her sternly.

"You and I both know that we can't help you take down the Agency to the fullest of our extent if you're not 008. You don't have much of a choice here, if you want to protect the ones you love," he continued.

"I've never had much of a choice in anything," Alexa muttered. "So, is this it? All I have to do is stick with you to get help on the Agency Case?"

"Precisely. This is the way it is, Alexa. Either you become 008 and receive our full help or stay the way you are, with little help at all," M said. "This is my ultimatum and by the time you leave today, you'll have chosen one. Is that clear?"

Alexa fell silent, with a quiet look of contemplation gracing her features. She weighed in the pros and cons of each choice that was given to her. Q saw the look in her eyes and anger flared up in his system. She had already done enough for him; how could he willingly let her endanger herself again just to do this? She would be putting herself directly in the line of fire and the stakes would be raised higher than they were before.

"I think that it's-" she began but Q effectively cut her off.

"-time to consider this first," he continued as he stood up. He grabbed Alexa by the hand and led her to the door. "Give us a minute, M."

Q left the office without another word and the pair rushed down the hallway, leaving Alexa to wonder what was going on. He typed in something quickly on his phone as they walked and they popped into the currently empty break room.

"What's going on?" Alexa said, looking confused. She had not anticipated this and the situation seemed to throw her off even more than M's proposition. Q looked stressed for some reason and he let out a sigh.

"Don't take the job. Please," he said in a low voice. His tone was strained and there was a look of undeniable fear in his eyes that made her stomach lurch with fear.

"You and I both know what it means if I become 008," she said softly.

"I know that, but that doesn't mean that I want you to be 008," Q muttered.

"Why not? It's the easiest way I can finish this, Q," she said, her voice growing firmer and more forceful.

"The easiest way isn't always the safest or best way, Alexa, and I care about that. You can't keep risking your life because someday, you might not be so lucky and there might not be a way out. There has to be something else we can do, something that isn't as dangerous," he protested. At this, she seemed to spark to life and annoyance sprung up in her veins.

"Care? What do you care?" she snapped. "In the past week, you've made a conscious effort to ignore me and don't dare deny it now, because we both know it's true. You've said a grand total of twenty sentences to me, none of which explain anything about what the hell is going on!"

"Correction, it's thirty," Q said, looking miffed. Alexa folded her arms across her chest and shot him a murderous glance. Immediately, he knew he had said the wrong thing. Quite frankly, none of this was going according to plan. Q sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Alexa, he said softly. She refused to look him in the eye and stared at the wall behind him, a look of silent anger on her face.

"Forget it," she said coldly as she began to walk away from him. "I'm going back to M."

"Alexa, look at me," he said in a firmer tone, unable to get her attention. She refused to yield to his request and headed towards the door. Q grabbed her by the hand, tilted her chin up slightly with his hand, and kissed her, without saying a word in advance.

Alexa was overtaken by surprise once more (a feeling that overshadowed her anger) and her actions managed to betray the anger she felt. She gripped him by the tie with a tightly closed fist and kissed him back (albeit, rather roughly). He knew that she was doing this out of anger and responded back with equal force, to show that he was in no way afraid of her. Her back pressed against the counter behind her and he became a little less careful with his kisses. His hands rested against her hips and they soon began to wander as they pleased. One of his hands slid up her thigh and a small sound of pleasure came from her lips before it was silenced again with another kiss. She suddenly seemed to remember what she was doing and pulled away hastily, only to give Q a dirty look.

"Q, you can't always stop me from being angry at you by kissing me," she grumbled.

"I thought I was doing alright with that. It's not like you weren't enjoying it anyway," he retorted. She folded her arms against her chest and quirked up an eyebrow, as if to question him on what he just said. Alexa could garner no reaction from him with her look and she let out a frustrated sigh.

"Why did you just do that? Have you just resolved to puzzle me further?" she said, looking baffled. In that moment, Q realized that he had to tell her now; leading up to it would be good (if he could even manage to do that). He merely let out a sigh and pulled her close to him once more, placing his hands at her waist.

"I suppose this is my way of apologising, Alexa. I'm sorry. I've been stupid about this whole thing," he muttered.

"What do you mean?" she said, her brow furrowing in confusion. He tilted her chin up slightly to look directly into his eyes and the feeling made him slightly nervous. Nevertheless, he swallowed his pride and was ready to show her that although he seemed cold and heartless, he did have feelings and he truly felt he loved her.

"I love you, Alexa. You can be...volatile and sporadic, and you could probably kill me in thirty seconds or less, but despite all of that, I love you anyway," Q finally said after initially struggling to get the words out of his mouth. "I don't know why I didn't say anything about it earlier, but I do. You're incredibly brave and you never stop doing whatever you can to keep me safe. I love you and I apologise for taking so long to realize it."

It took a second or two for the information to fully sink into her brain. Alexa had never heard him admit to stupidity or love before, so she knew he was serious for both. Her eyes flickered with realisation and her lips upturned into a grin. "It's about time you told me," she chided gently.

Q rolled his eyes good-naturedly, expecting a response like that from her and gave her a little squeeze at the waist. He hesitated slightly before casting his eyes to the ground. "Would you, then, mind being..." he began. Q's voice fell, as if he was struggling to find the right word to say. Alexa knew exactly what he meant and gave him a knowing glance.

"Mind being yours? Of course not. It would be my pleasure," she said, a smile gracing her features. Alexa looked up at him almost shyly and brushed her hair back behind her ear.

"Mind if I kiss you?" she said softly, with a faint blush on her cheeks.

"By all means, go ahead," he chuckled. She gave him a smile and leant in, pressing a reserved, almost chaste kiss to his lips. He smiled at her and gladly leaned in, their kiss starting out slow and sweet. Q thought she tasted faintly of strawberry lip balm, a taste that had a somewhat intoxicating effect on him. Alexa hesitated momentarily before moving her slightly so her hips fit against his. Q could only grin in response and she felt his lips brush against her ear.

"Trying something new?" he chuckled.

"Is that a complaint I hear?" she said, flashing him a devious smirk. Alexa placed another bolder kiss to his lips and he pressed back with equal enthusiasm, whilst putting his hand on her thigh. In a way, this was the release of a week's worth of sexual tension and neither of them seemed to notice that they were still in the break room until Alexa pulled away.

"What if people see us?" Alexa said softly, pulling away slightly.

"They won't. No one's here yet anyway. I wanted to speak with you privately so I set the camera system to freeze onto an image. Door's locked, so we have three minutes or so," Q murmured.

"Smart man," she grinned as she continued to kiss him. He pressed his lips against hers softly at first but deepened the kiss after a few moments. His lips were surprisingly soft for a man's and tasted faintly of Earl Grey. Alexa felt him pull away from her and he placed his arms around her waist.

"We should probably go back," he said softly.

"I know. But you really don't want me to take that job though, do you?" she asked.

"No, I don't," he sighed. "It would raise the stakes even higher and I would have a higher chance of losing you."

"You really don't want to lose me that badly?" she asked.

"No, I don't. I just got you back and things are actually looking up for us, relationship-wise," Q said softly.

"I know, but I need this to get rid of them. There is no better way," Alexa said. "No risk, no glory, Q."

In that instance, Q saw that her mind was set. It would be much too difficult to convince her not to take it now. He decided not to fight with her about it any longer, because he knew that she was right (something he wouldn't care to admit). This was the best option they had and although it was the most dangerous, they didn't have much of a choice. "You'd better be careful, though. Promise me that, at least," he said sternly.

"I promise I'll be careful," she said, kissing him on the cheek. He smiled at her in satisfaction and released his grip on her.

"Back to M's, then?" he said. She nodded and he led her out the door. They began their walk back and a sudden thought occurred to her.

"You know, I'm glad we took care of that," she said.

"We took care of several things," he pointed out.

"You know, telling me that you loved me," she said softly, her cheeks flushing pink. "I really didn't think I could bear living in that state with you any longer."

"I thought you almost lost it with the mug you broke yesterday," he said as he opened the door for her.

"I almost did," Alexa chuckled. "But that's what shooting ranges are for: releasing aggression."

"Point taken," he said. They took their respective seats once more and M stared at both of them with an unreadable expression on his face. The tension he had seen dissipated and Alexa's mask of apathy had been discarded completely. In turn, this left him completely confused. What happened between them? Nevertheless, he decided to keep quiet about it and continue with business.

"Alexa, have you decided?" he said.

"Yes, sir. I'll accept the offer," she said. M nodded and laid his hands on his desk.

"Alright. Both of you, start researching more about the Agency. I'll be damned if we wage a war blindly. Alexa, I'll have Bond put you through examinations tomorrow, so feel free to prepare for those. If they're half the threat you claim them to be, then we'd better start developing some new weapons as well," he said.

"I'm sure we can throw something together for Alexa to use," Q said as he headed out. Alexa followed him silently before stopping and turning back to face M. "Sir," she said.

"Yes?" he said, glancing up.

"Thank you," she said, giving him a slight smile. Alexa had not actually anticipated him to agree but she was still glad that with Q's help, they were able to persuade him to help.

"You're welcome. I just hope you both know what you're getting yourself into," M sighed, folding his arms across his chest.

"I haven't the faintest," Q said with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

"I haven't known for the past nine months, nor do I think I will for a while," Alexa said.

"God help us all, then," M muttered, watching them go. Alexa was standing outside the door and Q followed her when an important thought crossed M's mind and he looked back up.

"Oh, and Q?" he called.

"Yes?" he said, walking towards the desk.

"Alexa's flat was sold, so do you mind keeping her with you?" M said in a low voice.

"Any particular reason why?" Q said curiously.

"I want you to keep an eye on her. You and I both know what she's capable of and I need to be entirely convinced that she isn't plotting to betray us. Besides, I doubt staying alone in a time like this is the best idea," M said. "Do you mind?"

Q thought about it but realized that he didn't really mind. He had missed her while she was gone and figured this was one way to make up for that. "Not really," he replied with a shrug.

"Good, then. Off you go," M said. Q left M's office and Alexa glanced up at him curiously, wondering what they had been talking about.

"What was that all about?" she said as they walked down the corridors.

"He wants you to keep staying with me at the flat," Q said offhandedly as he pressed the elevator button to go up.

"Really?" she said.

"Of course. Why, were you expecting to leave me that quickly?" he said.

"No, I was just wondering if M would forcibly kick me out," she lied. Q did not watch to see that she was lying and merely shrugged off her response. Alexa let out a sigh as she noticed that he let it go and continue to wait to go up, whilst mentally trying to rein in her emotions. It was no doubt that she loved him, but she was still hesitant because she had never been this close to anyone before. It was a strange feeling, and it would definitely take some time to get used to it.

"-lexa? Are you alright?" he said, his voice snapping her back to reality. They were walking through the halls and towards the Q-Branch.

"Huh? Oh, I'm fine. I was just...thinking again, that's all," she mumbled, looking a bit embarrassed. Alexa seemed to spark back to life and grabbed him by the hand. "Come on, let's go," she said, leading him down the hall.

Q, who was still wondering about her odd behaviour, let out a sigh and followed her. She was probably just as dazed as he was about this whole affair, as it was so sudden. Alexa led him into the room and he was a bit surprised when she hung back from the threshold.

"I'll let you work now. I really should prepare for tomorrow," Alexa said.

"Nonsense. I think you'll pass with flying colours," Q said matter-of-factly.

"We'll see, I suppose. I'll be at the range near on Huntington Boulevard for the majority of the day. Do you have a spare pair of keys?" Alexa said. Q walked to his desk and he tossed her a pair of keys he fished out of the drawer. She reached forward and they landed in her palms as she approached his desk. Q turned to shut the drawer and she swiped his mug, without him even noticing.

"The black one is for the front. The brown is for the second door, after you put in your fingerprint. I already put yours as authorized so feel free to come in and out as you please," Q said. He paused for a moment before looking up, evidently amused.

"Don't lose them. I know you have a knack for misplacing things," he smirked.

"I won't lose them. I'll try not to, at least," Alexa said, with a playful roll of her eyes.

"Sure about that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course. How about you? Sure you didn't misplace anything?" Alexa said. He looked at her blankly, wondering what she meant, and she merely chuckled. She put her hands to the back, effortlessly concealing the mug. Alexa hesitated for a moment but stood up on her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll see you later, then," Alexa said, unknowingly giving him that smile he liked best, which was full of life. It was a smile that made his stomach lurch for some inexplicable reason and he imagined that this was how normal people felt whenever they were ridiculously in love. It was strange, but the feeling was pleasant. It left him feeling satisfied with the way his life was, which was a rare occasion if you were the youngest of the overachieving Holmes brothers. His eyes softened slightly and he returned her smile.

"See you," Q said, before turning back to his work. Alexa left the Q-Branch and she headed to the break room down the hall. She brewed him a cup of Earl Grey, with a splash of milk, just the way he liked. It had been the first time she made him tea since she had arrived and it was nice to somewhat settle into their natural routine. Alexa wrote something quickly on a Post-It note and pasted it onto the mug. She went down the hall and slipped into the room quietly. It was easy to do, since Q usually focused with unnatural intensity on whatever endevour he chose to undertake for the day. Alexa left it on the table near the door and slipped out without another word. The only reason Q looked up was because of the telltale hiss of air from the door as it closed. He turned around and immediately smelled the cuppa as the scent wafted to him. Q approached the table and he picked up his mug, staring curiously at the note.

It said nothing, really, except for the words, "Have a good day at work!" He smiled slightly at her gesture and took a sip of the tea, feeling something in his heart that he had not felt in quite a while. He was happy, something that pleased him especially because it was rare. Happiness did not come easily, and he was usually stuck in a state of merely being "okay". With her, even through the simplest gestures, he was left content. It was something that he would never change about her and also something he hoped would continue as their relationship grew.

* * *

As promised, Alexa spent the majority of her day at the shooting range. She brushed up on some basic maneuvers that she figured were required of agents and even got in a few rounds on her rifle. Alexa then headed home, feeling satisfied with her skills.

After a quick shower, she brewed a cup of coffee and ordered some food for dinner. Alexa took out the food and left it on the table before pulling a book off the shelf and taking a seat on the couch. She then proceeded to read until she heard the door open hours later.

"Alexa?" Q said as he walked in, taking off his coat. She stood up from her position on the couch, glancing up.

"Hi," she said, smiling somewhat shyly at him. He could clearly see that she was happy to see him back, but was still somewhat shy, as they had just officially gotten together only a few hours ago.

"Hello," he said as he approached her. Q knew that she was reserved, as was he. They had both closed off their hearts over the years in favour of protection from the aches and pains of love. Nonetheless, he was willing to show that he wanted to make this work, whilst simultaneously showing his affection for her. Q hesitated for a moment but wrapped his arms slowly around her waist.

She stiffened at his touch, unfamiliar for the most part with such conscious intimacy. What she had experienced with him in the past few days was not driven by actually wanting to get closer to one another but was, she could say, driven by passion instead. Q felt her stiffen slightly but she relaxed as soon as she realised that this was alright. This was what love was like and this was a way that affection could be shown. Alexa, noting that this seemed like a give and take process, turned around and set her hands around his neck.

"How was work today?" she asked.

"Good, overall. I have something nice to come home to," he said. He looked over at the food on the table and tilted his head slightly. "Did you make all of this?"

Alexa burst into laughter, which was full of refreshing gaiety. "Of course not, Q. I was trained to kill, not cook. I can't cook, even if my life depended on it," she said.

"How on earth did you make it this far in life, then?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Noodles and coffee. Also, bread, salads, and whatever else I can scrounge up from the supermarket," she said dryly.

"Dear god, you're worse than I am," Q groaned, rolling his eyes.

"That's not true! At least I don't drink tea ten times a day," Alexa protested.

"No, but your coffee intake is just as alarming," he pointed out. She pouted at him almost comically and he could not help but let out a short chuckle. "And what did you accomplish today?"

Her eyes lit up as soon as the question came out of his mouth. "Oh, I went to the range and practiced some basic maneuvers that I assume would be required of an agent. As far as I'm concerned, I was actually fairly productive," she said proudly. A question crossed his mind and he peered at her curiously.

"Speaking of which, do you ever miss a shot?" Q asked.

"I don't think you want to find that one out for yourself," Alexa deadpanned.

"I don't, but I was just curious. You've been doing this a while, so are you dead-on accurate like Bond?" he mused.

"Not exactly. Sometimes I'm off, but it's usually only by a few centimetres," she replied.

"Have you always had a good sense of accuracy?"

"Nope," Alexa said bluntly. "When I first started, I was one of the worst shots in class. I didn't like the sound of the gunfire and it honestly terrified me. But when you're in a program like that, you have to adapt. There is no choice."

"I see your point," he said. He let out an absentminded sigh and gave her a small squeeze. "I'm sure you'll do just fine tomorrow, though. You've come quite a long way."

"I hope so," Alexa sighed. She glanced at the food she had put on the table and took her arms off his neck. "We should eat, you know."

"I suppose we should," he said, putting his hands in his pockets. He watched Alexa pull away and walked to the kitchen.

"Go wash up, and I'll take care of everything down here," she said as she pulled out a few utensils from the drawer.

"You're being so homely," Q said as he hung up his coat. "What brought this on?"

"I'm not sure," she shrugged. "I quite like it, though. It's not as exciting as dodging a bullet every now and then but it's certainly much less hassling."

"You know, I was going to ask you earlier," Q said as he made his way into the kitchen. "What do you plan on doing after all of this?"

Alexa let out a groan. "Don't ask me that!" she said.

"Why not?" he said, looking confused.

"Well, the truth is, I don't have a clue. I've been after the Agency for a long time and I honestly wouldn't know what I'd do when it's all over," she replied.

"But what do you really want out of life after you've exposed the Agency?" he said. This was a pressing question that she usually did not address and chose to think about later. Her eyes softened slightly and she fiddled with the plate on the counter.

"I'd like to retire quietly out of the whole espionage business, which can be a hard thing to do but is possible nonetheless. Maybe I could even work at the Q-Branch again, I don't know. All I want is to just quit killing others and get on with the rest of my life, possibly staying with you," she said softly as she dusted off an imaginary stain on the plate. Alexa did not meet his eyes and focused her attention on the plate.

"It sounds bit silly, I suppose. Getting out of the spy business is hard enough, but putting up with me for that long is simply unlikely," Alexa joked. "If you kick me out, maybe I can live in Corsica. Seems nice there."

"Hmm, well...the probability of me forcing you to leave is highly unlikely. Seems a bit premature to say, but I still don't think I'll kick you out," he said as he grabbed a set of glasses. He set them on the table before washing his hands and taking a seat.

They had a generally quiet dinner, with small bursts of conversation here and there. Although things were better between them, a silence still remained and he could see a different sort of emotion on her face. Alexa was contemplating something and he leant forward to ask her about it.

"Something troubling you?" he asked. Her eyes flickered to life and she blinked, looking startled.

"Oh, not at all," Alexa replied, looking a bit flustered. Q scowled and folded his arms across his chest.

"You're doing it again. I hate it when you do that," he complained.

"What did I do?" she said, looking puzzled.

"You have a habit of pretending that you're fine when you really aren't. You're thinking about something; I can see that much," he said.

"Well, that's true, I suppose. You don't have to worry about me though, Q. I'm just thinking," she said, smiling rather absently at him. His eyes narrowed and Q glanced into her eyes, since he knew that he could usually tell what was wrong from there. Most people were easy to mentally dissect and the eyes where the place where he started.

What he found, however, was different from what he usually saw. She had changed over the past few months, and he was unsure if it was for the better. Her eyes were neither cold, nor warm. They were not soft, nor sharp. They were merely blank, devoid of all expressions. The fact that he could not read her was alarming and he was determined to figure out what was wrong.

"Take a wild guess on what I'm thinking about," she said, suddenly interrupting his thought process.

"You're a bit hesitant about this whole thing, staying here with me and being more than friends," Q said, the word unfamiliar in his speech.

"Well, a little bit for both, I suppose. I've been wandering for the past nine months now and it feels a bit odd, to be staying in one place," she confessed.

"Being more than friends is sort of odd too, since I've never done this sort of thing before. To be quite frank, I have no idea what the rules are, or what I'm actually supposed to be doing," Alexa added, letting out a small chuckle.

"That can't be all of what you're worried about. There's more, isn't there?" he said. Alexa paused for a moment and shifted uncomfortably in her chair. He could practically see that she was wondering what she could possibly tell him without worrying him. The tea kettle whistled loudly, breaking the silence, and Q stood up and placed two cups of Earl Grey on the table.

"Well?" he asked. She hesitated and let out a soft sigh.

"You're right," she finally admitted. Alexa stared at the tea, attempting to draw her eyes away from him. "Matters like these can only blanch in comparison to the other things I'm really worried about," she muttered.

"And those would be?"

"The Agency. I don't know what they could be up to, or where they are, but I have a feeling that they're going to find out that I'm not dead fairly soon. They'll definitely come to kill me and possibly kill you in the process. Either that, or they'll do nothing to you but as much as I hate to say it, that seems really unlikely. I don't know what they could be planning and that unsettles me. I've lived for nine months in a state of constant uncertainty, wondering when I'll die and I'm tired of it. I hate uncertainty," she confessed, looking frustrated. Q watched Alexa shift her gaze from him for a moment and she let out a sigh.

"God, I've really made a mess out of things. I'm sorry for dragging you into this, Q," she said softly, looking up at him.

"Alexa, it was inevitable. At least you're here and you're alive right now," he replied. She nodded soundlessly and they sat together, chatting quietly as they finished dinner. When they were finished, Alexa helped him clear the table and as she headed upstairs, she looked back at him.

"Why is your house so tidy?" she blurted out.

"It's supposed to be, Alexa. Most houses normally are," Q said. "Did you expect anything different?"

"I've seen your desk at work, Q. You have everything organized in your own chaotic way and I half expected it to look the same way," she said.

"Well, that's good. You've seen the rooms I want you to see then," he chuckled.

"What do you mean?"

"My office over there is messy. So is my room, but that's it," he said. "I have to keep the rest of the house clean, since my mum likes to make unexpected visits to the house and she gets cross with me if I leave everything out. She'll force me to clean it up, even if I am almost thirty and this is my own home. Ergo, I keep it tidy. It's like keeping up appearances, so to speak."

"Oh. Well, that certainly makes sense," she said. Alexa stopped in front of her door and turned to face him.

"Are you coming to watch my exam tomorrow?" she said.

"Of course. Why would I pass up a chance to see you give some agents a good beating?" Q scoffed.

Alexa laughed at his unexpected burst of schadenfreude. Her laughter died down and she tucked a hair behind her ear. "Good night, then. See you tomorrow morning," she said.

"Good night," he said, returning her smile. She stood on her tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to his lips. "I love you, if you don't know that already," she murmured.

"Of course I know that. I'm sure you know that too, don't you?" Q replied as he wrapped his arms around her hips.

"Know what?" she said teasingly. He rolled his eyes good-naturedly and shook his head.

"Off to bed with you, then," he said as he let her go. She merely chuckled in response and went into the room. Alexa heard the door shut behind her and she prepared to go to bed. She nestled herself into the soft white sheets and let out a sigh, feeling content for the first time in a while. Alexa closed her eyes and fell asleep, with the thought that this happiness would continue at least for a while.

* * *

_The dream was always the same._

_Alexa was her four-year-old self again and she stood in the darkened hallway of her childhood home. She heard voices and walked through the hallway with trepidation. Her legs trembled and she went down the stairs, hearing the voices grow louder. She tried to keep herself from looking, but it seemed that she would be forever destined to peer curiously into the kitchen from the top of the stairs. Alexa watched as the soldiers killed her father and bolted up the stairs in fear, her mother's piercing scream eternally ringing through her ears._

_Alexa grabbed her key necklace, along with the picture of her family out of the photo-frame. She opened the window and out of pure, unadulterated fear, she leapt at the large oak tree next to her window. Alexa was trembling but managed to make her way down the tree, like her friend Grisha had taught her at school. Oh, life had been so innocent then and she would have given anything to take it all back._

_Alexa ran into the safety of the forest, shivering in the snow. She had done her best not to look back, upon hearing more shouts follow. Alexa heard her mother scream her name for the last time before she let out one final scream, one that echoed loudly through the trees._

_She charged blindly into the snowy woods, with the intention of running away and later tripped on a tree root, falling down with a cry of pain. Alexa lay underneath a rotting tree root in tears, knowing that she was truly alone and there was nothing she could do about it._

_The scene normally changed there, into an event that deeply shamed her. Alexa heard shouts and laughter in the distance and as much as she tried to control herself, she always stood up and went on._

_The date was April 12, 1992, a date that she'd never forgotten. It was a beautiful day and she saw three children playing in front of a large manor house, in the lush forests of Russia. They were the children of the Ukrainian ambassador- Nicholas, Oliver, and Varenka, on a holiday in a remote vacation home near Lake Kazan. Nicholas and Oliver rushed off down the path, shouting about a game of hide and seek. Five year old Varenka chased after them, claiming that she would join in too. Their mother could not catch them and stood on the porch, shaking her head good-naturedly._

_Alexa hid in a bush and followed after Varenka, her hands trembling with fear. Their father, Aleksander Tverskov, had not paid the Agency for a weapons deal and they claimed that killing one of his children would compensate for his foolishness. It was her first mission and she kept in mind that if she did not complete it, then Misha Bartov, the soldier who supervised her would torture her and kill her. She hoped that the girl would run away; she prayed that she would at least do something to save herself. Alexa knew that even if one of these events were to occur, it would be highly unlikely and she would probably still have to kill Varenka._

_The other boys had gone ahead and Varenka walked through the wooded path. She was humming to herself and seemed like a pleasant young girl. Alexa did not want to kill her in the slightest and looked for any excuse to prevent her death, finding none to help Varenka. Varenka suddenly became distracted by a butterfly and strayed from the path to follow it. Alexa walked silently behind her and she came to the edge of Lake Kazan. It was silent and she looked around the tranquil lake for the last time before taking a deep breath and heading towards Varenka._

_Alexa stood behind her and pushed her under the water. The little girl let out a scream that became a feeble gurgle under the glassy green waves of the lake. As much as she flailed, no one but Alexa could hear her. Alexa felt tears rushing down her face and as much as she wanted to, she could not retract her hand and help her live again. Bartov would kill them both if she tried that. It was too late for Varenka Tverskov and after several minutes, her body went limp and she stopped fighting._

_She was dead._

_Alexa worked quickly, to complete the bloody mission and go home. She opened the back of Varenka's dress and inscribed the word "Агенсу," something that would warn Aleksander of the price he paid for his idiocy. Half of Varenka's body had stayed on the sand so she wouldn't wash away and the part that Alexa had touched was soaked by water, to remove any traces of her presence._

_"I'm sorry," Alexa said. She felt empty, like a soulless monster and tears rushed down her face. The memory would turn dreamlike as Varenka suddenly turned around and rose out of the water. She gave Alexa a wicked smile and pulled her under the waves of Lake Kazan._

_"Goodnight, Alexa," Varenka whispered as the world faded into darkness._

* * *

Her eyes flew open and the dream ended, just as she had hit the water in Lake Kazan. Alexa shot up in her bed and screamed without a second thought. She was breathing heavily and she rested her head against her knees, feeling like she had taken a punch to the gut.

She re-lived those terrible events night after night and it felt like she was constantly fighting away the past to stay sane. Although she saw it, again and again, the pain never dulled. It was as sharp as a knife, stabbing her without mercy. The screams of her victims echoed through her brain in a sickening cacophony and all the faces of the men, women, and children she had ever killed flashed before her eyes. It was like poison, leaving her sick to her stomach.

She let out a ragged sigh and hugged her knees to her chest. Alexa cried there alone, wishing that these dreams would stop. It was much better when she took her sleep medication, for she would not dream at all. This was one of the rare days when she had forgotten and the consequences were more painful than she could imagine.

Alexa checked the clock and after seeing that it was around three, she decided to have her nightly cup of tea to console her troubled mind. She stood up and went downstairs. Alexa stopped at the top of the stairs, upon hearing a creak from the door a few feet from her but proceeded downstairs, thinking nothing of it.

She turned on the lamp in the living room before procuring a kettle, cup, and Earl Grey. Alexa put some water in the kettle and put it over the stove, waiting until it became warm before pouring it into the cup. She let the tea steep and sat quietly at the couch, drinking tea and attempting to get her mind off the dreams. As she sat there, all she could think of were the countless murders she had committed.

She felt tears welling up in her eyes again and let them flow. This was the one comfort she found in the darkness; no one could see her break down and she could cry alone in the silence of the night. Her mask could be tossed aside with little consequence and she could stop pretending that she was perfectly alright.

"Alexa?"

She stiffened at the sound of Q's voice and did not turn. Alexa stared at her tea mug and refused to look up.

"I thought I heard someone up. Is everything alright?" he asked, taking a seat next to her.

"I'm fine," she said, her voice sounding strained. She set down the mug on the coffee table and drew away from him.

"You're obviously not, if you're drinking tea at three in the morning," he said, rolling his eyes. "What happened?"

"I have...trouble sleeping," she said, shifting uncomfortably in the couch.

"I know that, but why?"

"I don't...want to say," Alexa confessed. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and wiped it away quickly, not wanting to show him how upset she was.

He was startled by her tears and didn't know what to do. He heard someone scream earlier and presumed that it was Alexa. Q pulled her close to him and she felt the tears flow down her cheeks. He held her quietly, not knowing exactly what to say, and waited until she calmed down before speaking again.

"I heard you scream earlier. Why?" he said. She seemed unwilling to tell him and shook her head. Q let out a sigh and looked down at her.

"Alexa, tell me," he said softly. "I can't help you if you don't say anything."

"You'll think I'm terrible," she said shakily, pulling away from him.

"I know you've done unpleasant things in your life and that's something I've acknowledged," Q said, entwining his fingers with hers.

Alexa hesitated momentarily and looked at him, her eyes alight with worry. "If I tell you, will you promise you won't hate me?"

"Alexa, I endured the news of your faked suicide without completely resenting you. I think I can handle this," he said. "Now tell me, what made you scream?"

She stared sullenly at the coffee table and sighed. "I had a dream, the same one I've been having for months now. In my dream, I'm a kid again and I re-live the night my parents died. And then there's the other part," she muttered.

"Other part?"

"In my dream, it's April 12, 1992, the day I first killed someone," she said. Q stared at her and raised an eyebrow.

"You were seven when you first killed someone?" he said. She nodded and shifted uncomfortably in the couch.

"Her name was Varenka Tverskov. She was the daughter of an ambassador that didn't pay off the Agency for a weapons deal. They wanted me to kill one of his children as revenge. It doubled as a test and if I failed, I would be tortured and killed," she said.

"And you dreamt about it, didn't you?" he said. She nodded numbly and he watched a tear roll down her cheek.

"I drowned her, Q. With my bare hands, no less. She was only five years old and I'm sure she would've been a lovely girl," Alexa whispered. "I had to do it because there was no other way and now I regret it every day."

There was a distinct look of shame and she buried her face in her knees, not wanting to face him. Her body was shaking with sobs, at the thought of her crimes. He could tell that she deeply regretted it and would do anything to take it back. Q pulled her close to him and hugged her tightly, wanting her fears and tears to disappear.

"Oh, Alexa," he sighed softly. He ran his fingers through her hair, holding her in his arms all the while. With time, Alexa stopped crying and she sniffled a little, quietly relishing the feeling of Q's fingers in her hair and the sensation of his arms pressing against her body. Nevertheless, she felt a heavy weight in her heart and leant against him.

"There it is. You know the ugly truth now," she said, her voice laced with bitterness.

"I do, but I don't think any less of you. It happened and there isn't much we can do about it now," he said. Q hesitated for a moment before deciding to comfort her by exhuming a lesser known fact.

"You know, I'm not exactly that pure either. I have my own faults and sins to account for," he said. Her eyes flickered with surprise and she looked at him.

"Like what? You have faults here and there, but you don't seem like the type to commit a crime," she said, her brow furrowing in confusion. Q went silent before leaning back into the sofa.

"Appearances and demeanour can't always give you the biggest picture of someone. There's always something hidden below. For instance, I never told you, nor anyone how I began working with the MI6," he said.

"What did you do before?" she said. He paused for a moment before glancing back at her.

"How much do you know about the Moriarty Case, Alexa?" Q asked.

"The basics," she said. "I heard from Mycroft that it was a mess. James Moriarty had a code that could bypass any security in the world, everything from banks to prisons to supermarkets. He tried to frame your brother and killed himself and forced Sherlock to fake his suicide. Why do you ask?"

"Yes, well...I suppose I should start from the beginning. I lived briefly in America after university. I had a job with the Microsoft Corporation, working on security development, but I got bored with that quickly. I was later offered another job provided by an unknown benefactor. It was called the Chaos Project and naturally, I accepted it for a change of scenery," he said.

"The project required me to work by myself under the radar. I devised the malicious code that acted as it was written before collapsing in on itself, which ended up compromising the safety of essentially anything: banks, hospitals, schools, everything else. Name it and it could be mine in a matter of minutes," Q said.

"So that means the Moriarty Case was personal for all of you, then?" she said.

"Yes. It hurt both Sherlock and Mycroft, but they didn't tell me about the Moriarty Case immediately. They left me alone in America because they were busy and they didn't think I was involved. While Moriarty plotted my brother's downfall in England, I went off the grid (so to speak) and made use of my creation. I broke into anything and took whatever I thought could be useful; money, information (in the case of the Pentagon), and peace of mind," Q said, shifting uncomfortably.

"I finally found out about what happened at Sherlock's funeral. Mycroft told me about the whole thing and that Moriarty lied to them; the code existed and it attributed to the myriad of things that killed him. I couldn't handle the fact that I had played a hand in my brother's death so I turned myself over to the MI6. I told them what I had created and although they looked like they were going to arrest me, the old M offered me a job instead. I accepted and I worked my way through the ranks until I became the Quartermaster," he said.

"And you've never said this to anyone?"

"Nope. Only my brothers and the old M know about this. We even hid it from mum because we didn't want her to worry more than she was doing so already. When they hired me, everyone else believes they just hired me on a whim," Q said. Alexa nodded and he gave her hand a little squeeze.

"See, you're not the only one who has a sin on your shoulders. We've both had something to hide," he said softly.

"I never expected it, but that is pretty devious, for a man like you," she said as she nestled herself against him. Q glanced at the wall silently before a question escaped his lips. He turned and looked at her with worry in his eyes before resting his hand on hers.

"Will you be...alright now?" he said hesitantly.

"I'll be fine," she said reassuringly as she saw his distinct hesitation. Alexa paused for moment before chuckling softly. "No, who am I kidding? I'm not over it. I don't know if I ever will be. It'll keep me up at night, unless I take sleeping pills to dull the pain."

"Forget the sleeping pills. You're staying with me," he said firmly, pulling her up.

"Wait, what? But why-" she began.

"I won't let you go through this alone. Besides, I wouldn't be very happy to see you down here every other evening, sobbing over a cup of tea," Q muttered.

Alexa saw that he genuinely cared about her well-being and smiled at his concern. She hugged him, giving him a weary smile. "Thanks, Q," she mumbled.

"Not a problem," he said as they went upstairs. She went to her room to clean herself up and came back a little while later to Q's room.

It was different from what she had expected. The room had a quirky patterned wallpaper and was cluttered, with papers in different piles on the desk. There was a faded world map on the wall with multicoloured pins in different places. Blueprint paper was pinned to the wall, with the plans for a signal jammer made out of a cordless telephone. She could only assume this was his first invention, because of the quick scrawl that vaguely resembled letters at the bottom. There were miscellaneous, half-finished objects laying around the desk and a stack of books sat on the windowsill. It was so like him and she liked it better than any other room in the house.

"There you are. Come here," Q said, patting the space next to him. She climbed into bed and pulled the covers close to her. Alexa felt his arms wrap around her but he pulled away after seeing that she had gravitated to the edge of the bed.

"Sorry, does that bother you?" he asked.

"I don't see any reason why it should. I am yours," she said, moving in. He put his arms around her once more and she leant into him, feeling content in his arms. She was silent for a second before turning around to face him.

"You've been deceived by a variety of people, haven't you?" she said softly. "First Sherlock, then Mycroft, and me."

"I guess. I suppose that's why it angered me so much when I found out you faked your suicide. I had gone through a lot emotionally for a false alarm. After Sherlock "died", I was left thinking that I was the one who killed my brother for at least two years and it wrecked me. I was depressed for a long time because of it and Mycroft even put me under intensive therapy. Things improved when he came back but when you killed yourself to keep me safe, I almost lost it. I thought it'd done it again and that people would always die at my hands, even if I didn't want them to. I had to go through informal therapy with Mycroft again to keep myself from doing anything irrational every other day," Q confessed.

His words made her realize how much she had affected him with her death and it terrified her to see that unstable side of him. He had been through the mindset that he was the cause of a suicide and she had put him through it again. A pang of guilt struck her and she looked up at him, somewhat afraid.

"Q," she said.

"What?"

"The irrational things you thought of doing...how bad were they?" she said. He paused for a moment, not wanting to admit how torn up he had been after she had died and shook his head.

"I won't tell you," he replied.

"Why not?" Alexa said.

"You'll worry, and I believe that's the last thing you need right now," Q stated. Alexa's eyes widened at the context of his words and she stared at him.

"Sherrinford Holmes! Don't tell me contemplated suicide!" Alexa exclaimed. The letter r in her speech rolled quite noticeably and her accent seemed to slip, only for a moment from her anger.

"You know, you sound a lot more Russian when you get angry," Q said thoughtfully, drawing her away from the topic. "By the way, how did you figure out my name-"

"You didn't answer me! Did you, or didn't you?" she said, looking cross.

"Maybe, maybe not. I might have felt that everyone I loved died inadvertently at my hands and contemplated suicide. Who knows, I might have coped with it normally. Either way, you don't know and you won't know. I refuse to tell you," he said stubbornly. Alexa took that as close as she could get to confirmation and she could not fight off the guilty look on her face. She put her arms around him and nestled her face against his chest.

"I'm so sorry, for putting you through all of this stress. I never meant to drive you that far, to weekly therapy with Mycroft," she said, looking ashamed. "I should've come back at least once, to make sure you weren't doing anything stupid."

"You had to do all of this and I'm alive because of it. For that, I'm grateful," he replied. "Besides, you weren't the only one who put me through this much stress."

"I know that. Your brothers are just as bad. They're going to traumatise you someday, Q," she said.

"Mycroft especially," he muttered. "I suppose helping you fake your death was his way of getting even with me for attributing to Sherlock's suicide. He does have a penchant for messing with my life for the worse."

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true. As your brother, I'm sure he did because he cares. It was to protect you and everyone else," Alexa chided gently.

"Maybe he did do it for that reason. Either way, I don't think I'll ever know if that's true," he said.

"Won't he admit to it and tell you if you were right or wrong?" she questioned.

"You've never really been around my family too much, have you?" Q said, evidently looking amused. "I'll take you to see them sometime. Christmas sound good?"

"Sounds nice," she murmured, letting out a yawn. He noted her sleepiness and brushed a hair out of her eyes.

"Good night, Alexa; or rather, good morning," he chuckled, giving her a kiss.

"Good night," she mumbled. She felt happy here in his arms and for once, she did not worry about the future. Alexa fell asleep much easier than she usually did and when she dreamed now, the nightmare did not come back. As he held her, he had dispelled her fears and made her feel safe with him.

She could sleep peacefully tonight, and that was a peace that she wanted for a long time now.


	24. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my tumblr page (my blog is cumberwookie on tumblr) and you'll find a movie poster for Agent Chetiri! I thought it would be cool for you guys to have and I hope you like it, along with this chapter!

_Every sin is the result of a collaboration._

_**-Seneca** _

* * *

The warm, morning sunlight streamed through the window, hitting Alexa's face. Her head was nestled against Q's chest and she felt content here, not wanting to get up. The buzz of the doorbell downstairs broke the silence and neither of them stood up to answer it. The ringing continued and finally, Q let out a groan and sat up.

"Who's that?" Alexa mumbled, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"I don't know," he muttered. "But they'd better have a bloody good reason for coming at 6:45 in the morning."

As Q stood up, his phone rang from the bedside table and he picked it up, looking annoyed. "What?" he snapped.

"Sherrinford Holmes, is that any way to talk to your mother?" Violet said sternly.

Q cursed loudly and Alexa sat up, looking startled. She watched him rush around the room, attempting to make himself look somewhat decent. "Sorry," he said.

"I'm at the door. Would you open it, love?" she said.

"Right, I'm coming," he said. Q put the phone on the table and Alexa looked up at him in confusion.

"Who is it?" she said.

"My mum. I told you she liked to pop in unexpectedly," he muttered.

"I'll see you downstairs," he said, kissing her quickly before leaving the room. Later, she heard voices and wondered what she should say, if she went downstairs. She sighed and went to the guest room, where she brushed her teeth and combed her hair before heading downstairs. Alexa let out a deep breath and went into the kitchen. The voices grew louder and she heard the whistle of the kettle on the stove.

"I came by to check up on my sons. I wanted to see you first, though. How are you, love? Are you eating enough? You'd better be getting enough sleep too," she said worriedly.

"Mum, I told you, I'm fine," Q said. "More than fine, actually."

"Why so?" Violet said curiously. Alexa's footsteps fell softly against the hardwood floor as she walked hesitantly through the living room and into the kitchen. Violet heard her and turned around to look, with an expression of shock crossing her face.

"Morning," she said, smiling shyly. She hadn't expected Q to have a girl over and her eyes seemed somewhat familiar. Violet could not help but wonder what had transpired while she wasn't around and felt somewhat uncomfortable being here.

"You never told me you had a new girlfriend," she said, giving him an accusing stare. Q merely gave her a vague smile and continued to make them breakfast. The thought that he had not officially addressed her as his girlfriend occurred to her and she put a hand on her chin wonderingly.

"Hmm...I'm not entirely sure I'd call myself that," Alexa said as she took a seat next to her. Her comment was aimed at Q, but he seemed to either be not listening or purposely ignoring her.

"What's your name, dear?" Violet said, looking interested.

"Alexandra," she said, giving her a casual smile. "But feel free to call me Alexa."

Violet's eyes flashed with recognition and she stared at Alexa in surprise. They had only met briefly, but she had been able to recognize Alexa both by her name and eyes. "Wait a minute, you're dead!" she exclaimed.

"Was," Q pointed out. Alexa rolled her eyes, as he seemed to be listening now.

"What is the meaning of this?" Violet demanded.

"It's a long story, Mrs. Holmes," she said. Q set down tea for both of them and stayed silent, letting Alexa handle the situation.

"Tell me what happened," she said, looking cross.

"Well, I was originally born in Russia. I was taken as a child and put in a program called Operation Chetiri because I qualified," Alexa said, attempting to as vague as possible. Violet, however, refused to yield and pressed her for more information.

"Qualified to be what?" she said. Alexa hesitated and fell silent, looking uncomfortable with the question. Nonetheless, she leant forward and answered it.

"I qualified to be an agent, like your two other sons," she said. Violet stared at her momentarily with a look of shock and mistrust, before her face morphed back into its usual emotionless mask.

"Alright. Go on," Violet said. Alexa realized that she was never going to get anywhere if she was vague and gave up on concealing the truth.

"I decided I didn't like what I was doing so I ran away to London and started a new life. I met Q and I started working for the MI6 for a few months," Alexa continued.

"The Agency, the people in charge of the program I was in, came looking for me after the Christmas party. They came with the intention of killing me and anyone I loved so I faked a suicide to keep them from killing me or Q or any of my friends," Alexa said softly. There was a long silence and Violet let out a sigh.

"My, you've got a complicated life, haven't you?" she said, shaking her head.

"That's putting it nicely," Alexa said, taking a sip of her coffee. The older woman studied her carefully before leaning forward.

"So, what exactly have you been up to so far? Enjoying death?" Violet asked, a sharp look in her eyes.

"Not exactly. As much as I wanted to, it was too risky to come back and I've been gathering leads about the Agency. However, they've eluded me and each time I try to chase them, I nearly die in the process," she muttered.

"One thing I am curious about though, how did you survive?" Violet asked, peering at her curiously. Alexa paused for a moment before deciding that the truth had to be revealed. Q knew already, so there really was no point to keeping it a secret.

"Ask your oldest son. He helped me," Alexa said casually. Violet's eyes widened and she put on an annoyed scowl.

"Oh, I can't believe him! Mikey willingly put his youngest brother through all that grief! When I get my hands on that boy, I'm going to have a long chat with him about meddling with his brother's love life," Violet fumed.

"Say what you will, but he saved my life. I don't think I would have lived without his help and I'm under his debt. I believe that's what Americans call, owing him one," she said as she sipped at her coffee. Violet saw her somewhat casual demeanour towards this fact and let out a sigh.

"Look, if it's risky to be here, why are you staying in London, in my son's home, no less?" she said sternly.

"That's a bit of a complicated story," Alexa said. Violet paused momentarily and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not quite sure I understand," Violet said.

"Sherlock was given a case by Alexa's maternal grandmother, who wanted to know why she had disappeared from Russia as a child. He came to me for software purposes after Mycroft wouldn't help him. While we were linking Alexa's aliases to her real identity, she was alerted and came to London to try and stop us. She abandoned that plan and told me of her situation," Q said as he made himself a cup of Earl Grey.

"That's not quite what I'm looking for," she said quietly.

"What is it, then?" Alexa said, looking puzzled.

"You've been caught already, Alexa. What keeps you here, despite the risks this location presents?" she said with a stoic expression. Alexa did not quite know how to explain her situation better or if she could even admit to her mistakes again. She floundered for something to say and Violet studied her carefully, before a look of insight crossed her face. She nodded quietly, taking a sip of her tea.

"Ah. I see," she replied.

"What do you mean?" Alexa said, looking confused.

"You're out of options, aren't you? You've run out of aces up your sleeve and that's what's keeping you here. Even a woman as clever as you had to run out of tricks at some point and you realized you needed help, or else you would die in the process of protecting your loved ones," she said sagely. Alexa was surprised by how precisely she had read her emotions and a smile crossed her face.

"That's exactly right," she said.

"I see. And you've persuaded my son to help you, in one way or another, haven't you?" Violet said.

"We had a bit of trouble with it initially, but yes, you could say that," Alexa said, smiling slightly. Violet drank her tea and let out a sigh, grasping Alexa's hands.

"The only advice I can give in this matter is for both of you to be careful. Especially you, Alexa. I can't lose a potential daughter-in-law," Violet said, shaking her hands for emphasis.

"Mum!" Q scolded, looking startled and slightly appalled. Alexa, on the other hand, turned bright red and looked away from Q.

"I'm many things, Mrs. Holmes, but I'm definitely not that," Alexa murmured, shaking her head.

"Oh, you might as well be, if you'll go on with him like this," Violet said offhandedly as she stood up.

"If you embarrass both of us, I'm afraid you'll have to leave," Q said, in a way that was both polite and slightly threatening at the same time.

"No need for that. I'm going off to check on Sherlock now. He hasn't called me in a while. Goodness knows what that boy is up to," Violet grumbled as she picked up her bag. Q and Alexa headed to the door to see her off and Q helped her grab her things.

"Goodbye, love. I'll see you sometime soon," Violet said as she gave her son a kiss on the cheek. "And for Christ's sake, clean up your house!"

Q rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Bye, mum. And for God's sake, remember to announce your visits the next time," Q said in retaliation. Violet merely rolled her eyes in response and headed to Alexa.

"It was lovely to see you again, Alexa," Violet said, giving her an amiable hug.

"It was nice to see you too, Mrs. Holmes," Alexa said, squeezing the older woman gently. She gave her a polite smile and Violet looked up at her.

"Do be careful, my dear. You're lovely and I don't fancy the idea of losing my potential daughter-in-law," she said, patting her shoulder gently. Once again, Alexa looked embarrassed (along with Q, who rolled his eyes) and it took every bit of Violet's willpower not to laugh at their reaction. She hadn't noticed it before, but they were fun to pick on.

"Best of luck to you both!" she said as she headed out the door. Violet shut the door behind her and disappeared into the street. Alexa went back into the kitchen and started to clean up the mugs.

"Are her visits always like that?" Alexa said curiously, glancing up at him. Q let out a sigh and nodded.

"More or less. They're always undeniably awkward and entirely unexpected," he muttered.

"I quite like her, though. She seems pleasant," Alexa said with a smile.

"I suppose," Q said, with the hint of a smile on his face. He made her breakfast and they sat together at the kitchen table, chatting and enjoying one another's company.

"I suppose I should get ready. What time do you usually leave for work?" Alexa said after she finished her coffee.

"7:55, I believe. I like getting there early to start on work," he said, clearing their plates.

"I notice that. I'll go get ready then. I know how much you love punctuality," she said, with the hint of a smile on her lips.

"Says the girl who came in at 8:59 every day," Q scoffed. Alexa could only laugh in response and went upstairs to prepare for the day ahead.

* * *

Alexa and Q arrived at the MI6 headquarters at around 8:05. Q flicked on the lights and as always, was the first one here. "Here we are," he said.

"It still looks the same," Alexa remarked. "Except for my missing desk, of course."

"I put it in storage after your faked suicide. I wasn't really too keen on staring at an empty desk for the rest of my time here," he said, putting his folders on the table. Alexa merely nodded and looked around.

"Working on anything new?" she asked, curiosity alight in her eyes.

"We're fixing minor cracks in the security system and making new weapons. The blueprints are over there, if you want to look," he said as he logged onto his laptop. Alexa touched the glossy blue pages gingerly and picked up a design.

"An exploding pen? Bit basic, isn't it?" she said questioningly.

"It wasn't my idea. Bond wanted one, so he kept bugging me about it. George and William have been working on it, making it at least a bit more advanced," Q said.

"What's this one?" she asked, holding up another page.

"Oh, that's a good one. I looked at the molecular structure of Kevlar KM2 and I strengthened the hydrogen bonds with crystalline silica. In turn, it's lighter and the tensile strength increases exponentially. I've made a suit coat so far, out of the modified Kevlar," he said, motioning to the coat that hung on the back wall.

"And you figured all of this out yourself?" Alexa said.

"I suppose," Q said. A smile spread across her face and she shook her head.

"God, you're crazy," Alexa muttered.

"Crazy?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Crazy smart," she replied with a grin. Alexa stood up slightly and kissed him on the cheek coyly. "I like an intelligent man."

"Hmm, being cheeky, are we?" he chuckled, slipping his arms around her waist.

"You could say that," Alexa said as she set down the blueprints on the table. She felt him clear a hair away from her face and his lips brushed against her cheek.

"Don't try to distract me, Alexa. That isn't entirely fair, since I'm at work," Q murmured in her ear.

"Well, work doesn't start until nine so technically, it won't count. Besides, it's not exactly fair if you're seducing me too," she protested. Q paused for a moment and shrugged.

"Fair point," he said, leaning in to kiss her. He'd never wanted someone as much as he had now and knowing that he had what he wanted made him incredibly smug, to the point where he was more than willing to do something to it. Alexa smirked triumphantly, knowing she had won him over and pressed her lips against his eagerly, not wanting to waste any time (especially in a place like this). His soft and supple lips hit hers at just the right angle and for a gentle-looking man, his kisses were surprisingly demanding. His hands stayed at her waist, with his fingers at the small of her back, and her fingers pressed against the nape of his neck. She pulled away momentarily, their noses pressing against one another's.

"Why are you such a damn good kisser? It isn't fair. It adds to the myriad of things you excel at," she said breathlessly.

"It's a simple formula, Alexa. A 63 degree angle, coupled with a bit of hormones, adrenaline, and a genuine passion for the person you're kissing is guaranteed for consistent success," he chuckled.

"Leave it to you to figure out something like that," Alexa murmured, continuing their fervent kiss. Their kiss was anything but the same as before and this different side of Q was both surprising and attractive to Alexa. Their kiss quickly turned into a battle for dominance and apparently, Q seemed to be winning. Alexa soon decided to give up the fight and gave in, letting him do what he pleased. Neither of them noticed the sound of the door opening from behind them until someone cleared their throat.

"It looks like you did get the girl after all. Well done, Q," James said, trying hard not to laugh. They pulled away, looking mutually embarrassed and Q stood quietly next to Alexa.

"Oh, shut up, Bond," Q said, his cheeks reddening as he looked down at the ground.

"Well, it's not every day I catch you snogging someone, much less here," James remarked. His eyes flickered over to Alexa and he gave her a small smile.

"Speaking of which, welcome back to the land of the living, Alexa. How was being dead?" he said.

"Honestly, quite terrible. It's good to be back," Alexa said with a laugh.

"Well, you made quite the entrance. I haven't seen you in nine months and when I do, you're snogging our Quartermaster," James scoffed. "By the way, weren't you angry at her for not telling you, Q?"

Q thought about it for a moment before his lips curled into a smirk. "Briefly. But we took care of that, one way or another," he replied. James raised an eyebrow, looking amused and shook his head. He never pictured Q with a woman, much less in bed. Q caught the devious look on his face and rolled his eyes.

"Not like that, Bond," he muttered, folding his arms across his chest. Alexa did her best not to laugh because some of it had been exactly what James had thought of. "Unlike you, I don't shag every woman I meet."

"That's not true!" James exclaimed.

"You're a notorious womanizer, Bond. Just admit it," Q retorted. They began to argue and Alexa decided that it would be beneficial for everyone to interrupt them.

"Alright boys, I'm assuming there's something important that needs to be done," Alexa said, rolling her eyes. "What do you need, Bond?"

"You, actually," he said, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Me? Is it time already?" she asked.

"Yes. You'll be taking a few tests with me. Nothing too difficult, just a few preliminary examinations," James said casually. Alexa nodded and grabbed her bag.

"Alright. See you later, Q," Alexa said, kissing him on the cheek. They went down the corridor in silence, avoiding people as they walked by. The MI6 base was starting to fill up with different workers and she saw several familiar faces. They got into the elevator and James glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

"You've been quite the celebrity around here ever since you came back, you know," he said.

"Have I really? I didn't really intend to be," Alexa said, looking up. He nodded and as the doors opened, they continued down the hallway.

"Everyone knows why you had to fake your death but M's made us all swear to secrecy. I'm sure he realizes how useful you could be," James said, with a smirk on his face.

"Which is essentially why I'm taking this test then, right?" Alexa asked.

"Precisely," James replied casually. They entered the training room and Alexa headed off to the showers to change anyway. She came back later in a pair of black athletic pants that hugged her body and her black tank top. Alexa tied her shoes and laced her hair up in a ponytail, before making her way towards James. Two men stood by as the medical staff and James held a clipboard in his hands. Alexa looked at the double paneled window on the back wall and assumed that M was there.

"You've been through these already, but we have to re-test you. It's a minor technicality," Bond said.

"Start by running on the treadmill for fifteen minutes," Bond said, pointing to the treadmill behind her.

She began to run and stared at the brick wall in front of her. Alexa's mind wandered as she jogged and she found herself thinking about her relationship with Q again. What exactly where they? He didn't exactly specify what they were, leaving her confused. She wondered if they were friends, lovers, or something else and knew that she would have to breach this topic with him eventually. Alexa was lost in her thoughts and when the treadmill stopped fifteen minutes later, she stumbled back in surprise.

"Are you alright?" he said.

"I'm fine," Alexa said, waving it off. The medical staff took her heart rate and gave her some water, before letting her proceed with the next test.

"Shoot each target in the room, preferably in the head," James said. Alexa nodded and took the gun off the table, pressing the pistol against her palm. She began at the very edge of the room and focused her attention to the small red target before beginning to fire. Bullets were fired and by the time she was done, all of the bullets had hit the centre circle. Only two had missed, but only by a minuscule amount. James let out a low whistle and a hint of a smirk made its was onto his face.

"You've certainly improved from the last time I saw you," he said, scribbling something down on his paper.

"When people are trying to kill you every day, you have to improve," she said dryly. Alexa set the gun down and took a swig of her water, before turning back to him.

"Next?"

"Field combat test. Fight this man," James said, stepping aside. He was a larger MI6 agent with short brown hair and a scar on his arm. The man did not look like he encouraged losing at all, which served to motivate her to beat him. Alexa nodded and stepped into the makeshift matted ring on the floor. She raised up her hand and after the go signal, rushed forward to fight.

She ducked a blow and aimed a punch but the man immediately grabbed her by the wrist. He had a strong grip that she could not break immediately so she threw his arm to his back painfully. He immediately released his grip with a loud yell and she kicked him in the chest. The man stumbled back but suddenly rushed forward, knocking her over. Alexa lay flat on the ground and rolled to the side as he landed a kick.

She sprung back up to land a kick but leapt back onto her hands instead to dodge a hit. Alexa pushed herself up and hit him in the shoulders, pushing him back. She saw an opening and landed a variety of kicks and punches to her target.

M stood quietly in the room adjacent to the training area and watched Alexa as she continued to fight. He heard the door open and Q stepped in. "Come to watch?" M said.

"Yes. Only out of curiosity, though," Q said as he stood next to him. He watched as Alexa nailed the agent with a punch to the side, followed with a kick to the left abdomen. She was taking no exceptions and was fighting with the mindset that this was a simulation of the dangers in real life. It was rather amusing to his standards to see her, a rather small woman, annihilating a large and lean agent. Watching her show off her prowess in the pugilistic arts and seeing the extent of her abilities was one of the main reasons he had come by to visit, save for the other reason of seeing her fight in tight clothing. It wasn't being odd, like most would think; she was what he considered his significant other and he made admiring her looks something he did daily.

He watched as she suddenly dodged to the left. Alexa nailed a hit to the nose and leant back, knowing that it was nearly over. She decided quickly to just show off, even a little, just for Q. He would undoubtedly be observing her abilities and she figured there was no harm in impressing him, like he had this morning. Alexa rushed forward before she jumped back onto her hands and landed a hard kick to his jaw, hitting upward. Her back arched to the ground and she nailed two pristine backflips, landing with pointed feet and hands at the side. The man fell back onto the mat groaning and held up a hand, conceding defeat. She smiled triumphantly and turned to grab a drink.

"That's your style, then," James muttered as he wrote in his paper. "Merciless with a hint of acrobatics."

"The end wasn't necessary, though. Just a bit of an embellishment," Alexa replied, taking a gulp of water.

"You've been at this a while, then, if you can land a jump even when you're almost thirty," he replied as his pen scratched across the page.

"I was a trained gymnast for all of my life, James. I would be ashamed if I couldn't land a backflip," she said, rolling her eyes. "Anything else?"

James paused before a sudden idea occurred to him. He wanted to gauge her level of fighting and there was a final test he could put her through to find out. "One more, actually," he said as he set down his clipboard on the table.

"Which is?"

"You have to fight me."

A grin spread across her face and she kept her distance from him. She took her stance on the mat, ready to begin. "Bring it on then, 007," she challenged. They heard someone counting down and when they heard the word go, both of them sprung into action.

Alexa began by aiming a punch at his jaw and he blocked it quickly with his palm. He took his other hand and attempted to hit her in the neck with the side of his hand but she countered by grabbing his wrist. James swung his arm back, roughly breaking her grip, and she leapt back, to give her space.

She placed a well-aimed kick that she was sure would hit him but was blocked once more by his forearm. Alexa glared at James, causing him to smirk, and he quickly turned his hand to grab her foot. She swiftly sprung back onto her hands and did two tight backflips to break his grip. He countered back by nearly knocking out her feet and she leapt back.

"Oh, you're good," Alexa muttered, catching her breath.

"I'm James Bond, Alexa. Would you expect any less?" he said flippantly. Her eyes narrowed and she sprung towards him again, with a barrage of kicks and punches. James countered back with attacks of equal ferocity and was able to get in more than a few hits to her body. She winced as a punch hit her rib and quickly stuck her elbow in front of her, jabbing him in the chest.

Meanwhile, M continued to watch from his position behind the window with Q standing beside him. M noted that their attacks seemed to flow together effortlessly and that each blow was countered with a block by a hand or arm. In the middle of the fight, Alexa looked a bit fatigued while James barely broke a sweat. Sometimes, he would throw in an attack or two that would throw her off and force her to take a blow. With this, M say that although Alexa was skilled, he knew that she could still learn a myriad of valuable tricks from 007.

"They would make a good team, don't you think?" M said.

"I suppose," Q said absentmindedly as he watched the two circle the room. Alexa was watching James like a hawk and her eyes narrowed at every movement he made. She hadn't fought with someone of this caliber before and she was determined to win, no matter the cost.

Without warning, James rushed forward as if he were going to punch her but sidestepped her at the last second, kicking her knees out from under her. Alexa let out a startled cry and he gave a sharp, angled jab to her abdomen that knocked her flat on her back. She fell onto the mat below and let out a cough, staring up at the ceiling. Alexa sat up without a moment's notice, ignoring the pain in her stomach, and glared at James.

"You beat me!" she exclaimed.

"Astute observation, Alexa. Really quite wise for being the girlfriend of a Holmes brother," James smirked, helping her up. She glared at him before proceeding to dust off her trousers.

"I hate losing," she muttered.

"It seems both of us do. But for the record, I honestly didn't think you'd last this long," he said.

"Oh, please. I've been fighting off criminals for nine months now. I'd be ashamed if I didn't make it this far," Alexa scoffed.

"True. You're good, but you still have a few more tricks you could use," he said.

"Like what?" Alexa said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Like this," James said with a smirk as he grabbed at her neck. He pinched a point in her neck and Alexa let out a cry of pain. Within several seconds, she was lying on the ground, completely unconscious.

The medical team rushed over, to see the cause of the commotion. One of the men took a packet of smelling salts out of the medical bag and held it under her nose. After a few minutes, Alexa woke up again, looking dazed. She stared up at James and her cheeks turned bright red. Alexa stood up and punched him squarely in the jaw, to which he let out a grunt of pain.

"That was so mean of you!" she said angrily.

"So was that," he pointed out.

"It's not as bad as knocking me unconscious!" Alexa snapped. She rubbed the side of her neck and glared at him. "How did you do that?"

"I pressed a pressure point right here. It can stun your opponent or knock them unconscious, depending on how hard you press. It works on everyone," he said casually. Alexa rolled her eyes and took a swig of water before heading off to the showers. She took a quick shower before changing back into her clothes and walking into M's office.

"What is it?" she said.

"Ah, there you are. Take a seat, Alexa. I think you might need it," M said.

"I'm fine," Alexa said. She looked uncomfortable with being here and all she wanted to know was what he needed from her now. Alexa shifted slightly before glancing back up at him.

"So, did I pass?" she blurted out.

"With flying colours," he said casually. He held out a paper and a pen. "All I need for you to officially be 008 is your signature."

Without hesitation, she picked up a black pen off his desk and signed her name quickly on the allotted line. She was left with a feeling that she could not explain, but was similar to the feeling one would get after selling their soul.

"Welcome to the team, 008," M said, interrupting her thoughts. She gave him a polite smile and shoved her hands in her pockets.

"What's my first assignment?" Alexa said.

"Take down the Agency," he said smoothly. She nodded and said goodbye, before heading down to the Q-Branch. Alexa felt relieved at knowing that she would officially receive full help from the MI6. It left her not only feeling more relieved but made her day a little better. Her day brightened up a bit more when she walked in and saw all of her friends.

"Hi, everyone," she smiled. Everyone turned to look and simultaneously, smiles lit up the room.

"Bloody hell! Look who it is!" William said with a grin.

"Alexa! You're back!" Joy said, looking happy to see her. Alexa gave her a smile and within seconds, the room was filled with excited chatter. She stood there with a smile plastered to her face, answering everyone's questions. Soon, the chatter died down and she headed over to Q.

"How was the test?" he asked.

"Great, actually," she replied.

"Yes, I saw you fight. It was impressive that you managed to land those maneuvers and knock him out. You must have been quite the gymnast," he said.

"Maybe. It was probably the only thing I wasn't subpar at. Still, I passed with flying colours," she said, keeping that same grin plastered to her face. Q sensed that something was off and turned to her, examining her carefully.

"You're unhappy about something. What happened?" he said, his fingers entwining with hers. A sulky look suddenly spread across her face and she let out a sigh.

"I lost to James. I don't usually lose," she said petulantly.

"I thought you did fine," he said, giving her hand a squeeze. Q gave her a smile, in an attempt to make her feel better, but it was all to no avail. She let out a sullen sigh and stared at the floor.

"I suppose. Still, defeat isn't a feeling I particularly enjoy. It leaves me feeling terribly," Alexa muttered. "I swear, I'll beat him one of these days." Q let out a sigh and leant towards her, his lips gently brushing against her ear.

"I can make you feel better about it, if you'd like that," he said softly.

"How?" Alexa said, folding her arms across her chest.

"I don't know. We'll think of something though, won't we?" he murmured. Q gave her a winning smile that was almost too good to pass up and she felt her disappointment quickly diminishing. It was hard to resist him, with a face like that.

"I guess you're right," she said. Alexa managed to sneak in a light kiss to his cheek before going back to watching him work. Several people in the room had managed to see her kiss him, leaving them wondering about their relationship.

"What's your first mission?" he asked.

"Take down the Agency," she said. "I have some general information about them, but I have no idea where they could be."

"We can take a look," Q said. "What do you have so far?"

Alexa reached into her bag and pulled out a small, black jump drive. She handed it to him and he plugged it in. "The four remaining members are Andrei Pavlenko, Katja Morozova, Grigori Azarov, and Mikhail Zharkov," she said.

"Andrei Pavlenko was a former politician in the USSR and he's now a government liaison, rigging the votes for elections when necessary. He's there when scandals occur and takes care of them as quietly as possible. He's elusive though, and I've only been able to find him in Sarajevo, Hyderabad, and Bucharest before I lost him completely," Alexa continued.

"Okay. What about the other one?" he said.

"Katja Morozova was a Russian geneticist and the less adept children in Operation Chetiri were her test subjects. She was one of the founding members of Operation Chetiri and left Russia after 2001. She works with different crime bosses around Europe as a scientist and develops chemical compounds for longevity," she said.

"She's looking for the secret to immortality, isn't she?" he said.

"Yes, but she hasn't found it yet or else we would hear about it," she muttered. Q flipped to the next page and glanced at the joint file of the last two men.

"What about these two?" he asked.

"Grigori Azarov runs a crime syndicate in Ukraine with Mikhail Zharkov that specializes in blackmail and weapons dealing. They've threatened different government officials with blackmail material provided by a Miss Irene Adler," she said.

"Adler? Now there's a name I've heard before," Q said, his eyes lighting up.

"Really? Do tell," Alexa said, quirking up an eyebrow.

"She was involved in a blackmail case in London. Adler had compromising photographs and Sherlock and Mycroft had to take care of it," he said.

"Maybe we could ask them about her whereabouts," Alexa said, looking excited. Q was typing quickly and she could see him taking the files.

"We could. Let me see what I can find. It may take some time, so you may have to wait," Q said. He put the pictures of the four members on the program he was running and it scanned through different video footage feeds, CCTV, and files. Q inspected the other folders on the jump drive and stared at Alexa.

"Do you realize what information you have on here?" he said as he gave the drive back to her.

"Sensitive information that could imprison these people, if we capture them alive," she said smoothly as she put the small jump drive back in her purse. "This isn't even the whole thing."

"What is it, then?" he asked out of curiosity.

"I have every file on Operation Chetiri from Russia's archives stored away. I made the Proxy virus and it acts as a stand-in, mirroring the information they had before but with null links and corrupted files to slow them down. If I take it away, it shows the truth, where all of the information is gone. It should buy me time, if they don't notice. I doubt they will," she said.

"Interesting. So where is the real information?" Q asked.

"I have several of them hidden in different locations as fake drives but the real one is in the safest place I know of," Alexa said in a low voice.

"And that would be where?" he asked. She unclasped her necklace to reveal a small and old looking skeleton key. Instead of having a stylized handle, it was a simple design with a square-shaped handle. Alexa twisted the bottom part of the key, causing the key to fall apart. She took the handle and stuck a pen in the hole to pry it open, revealing a micro SD card inside.

"It's hidden away here," she said with a smile. "The card is 64 GB but the files are a mere 41 GB. They really didn't keep too much information about the program."

"Clever," Q said with a grin. This was why he was with her and he found her unorthodox methods interesting. "As expected of you, of course."

Alexa smiled in response and put the key back together, before clasping the necklace again and slipping it under her blouse. She watched him as he worked on the search and for the remainder of the day, Alexa stayed in the Q-Branch. She did not want to run into M, fearing he would make her do something unpleasant and was content staying here. It was a rare moment of peace in her life and she knew that others would not come so easily.

She lunched on vending machine sandwiches and Earl Grey with Q and sat quietly as he worked, watching him as he worked on fixing the minor flaws in the security system. He reminded her of a machine, with his fingers hitting the keys rhythmically as he typed long lines of computer code. Occasionally, he would run a hand through his hair and ask different people for advice before returning to work once more. He was like a king, fortifying the walls of his digital fortress and to watch it all was utterly glorious.

"-lexa? We can go home now," Q said. She looked up, her train of thought interrupted, and nodded. Alexa stood up from the chair and helped him put away various things before heading up to the main level. They walked hand in hand to the Tube stop and strode along silently. Their relationship had its quiet moments and neither of them seemed to mind, as long as they had one another. As they walked out of the Tube stop and towards his home, Alexa finally spoke.

"Q, what exactly are we?" Alexa said softly.

"Human beings," he said smartly. She rolled her eyes, knowing that she should have expected an answer from him like this.

"You know what I'm talking about. Relationship-wise, what are we?" she asked. Q paused before glancing at her again.

"Why would you ask? I thought I made my intentions clear," he said.

She let out a sigh and stared at the ground. "Well, we're at that awkward place where both love each other, but we're not really dating. We never did say anything about it, so what am I to you?" she mumbled. Q thought about it and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"You are Alexa; you're one of the few women I've ever kissed in my entire life and the only one I'm willing to be with for more than 5 hours. I never told you before that I love you and I regret saying it beforehand. But now, you know and you're mine," he said definitively, smirking at her.

"I know I'm yours, but what exactly does that mean to you and me?" Alexa said gently. Q took a moment to respond and after a bit, he gave her a smirk.

"Significant other," he said. Alexa studied him for a moment and smiled at him, shaking her head.

"Alright, close enough," Alexa said. The proceeded down the street towards Q's home, talking about various things when they heard an odd noise.

Click.

Alexa turned quickly, her eyes narrowing as she scanned around for people behind them. Q was putting the key in the first door and looked over at Alexa.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"I thought I heard a click. Did you?" she said.

"I did, but I assumed it was you," he said.

"It wasn't," she said, looking around cautiously. She felt uneasy, as if there were unseen eyes watching them, and tried to look for any shifting or suspicious shadows in the distance. Alexa was ready to take out the small knife she kept in a small pocket in her boot any second now and turned around quickly, to head inside and shut the door behind her. When she put her hand on the doorknob, she heard the sound of a heavy footstep landing on concrete and before she knew it, a knife was held to her throat.

"Hello, Alexie," a familiar voice whispered. Alexa immediately knew who it was, since Volkov and Bartov were the only ones who called her by that nickname and one of them was already dead, thus leaving one option. She squirmed in an attempt to break free and Bartov barked an order in Russian and two men came out of the side alley holding two guns. They pointed it at her head and he grabbed her by the wrists, obstructing her means of escape.

"Q!" she shouted. He turned around, just as he had opened the next door and his eyes were filled with a mixture of terror and anger.

"So that's his name. Go on, boys," he said, motioning to the two men. One of them kept a gun pointed at Alexa and the other kept his pointed at Q, who was instructed to let them in. They came inside and after being seated on the couch. Q stared at Alexa for a moment and decided to let her handle it. He knew that he was going to have to deal with something like this one way or another and it would be better to let her take control of the situation. His girlfriend was an assassin, after all. She was more than qualified to deal with these people.

"It's nice to see you again, Alexa. How was death?" he said.

"Perfectly pleasant, until you assholes showed up," Alexa muttered. "How did you find me?"

"You underestimate the scope of my surveillance, Alexa. I've been assigned to keep an eye on your associates here in London ever since your suicide. We found you here, with your lovely little boyfriend," he said mockingly. Alexa studied him for a moment before glaring at him.

"If you were truly watching, you would have known that my case was being investigated and would have taken action against then, in the fear that they would expose the Agency," Alexa said with a steely glint in her eyes.

"I knew that-" Bartov protested, despite the fact that he didn't.

"That's a lie. You've been keeping a half-assed surveillance on my former life for the past nine months and the truth is, you've been sloppy. The only reason you took this mission was probably to make your way up into the ranks. How pathetic. You're slower than I anticipated and if you're slow to me, you're no better than an ordinary person. Honestly, it's like living in a world of goldfish," she grinned.

"Don't be like that, Alexa. No one likes a smart ass," he hissed, holding the knife at her throat. Alexa hardly looked scared and stared up at him defiantly.

"What do you want, Bartov?" Alexa hissed, her eyes bright with anger. He glared at her and stood in front of her.

"Our information has been tampered with and with you around, you're the prime suspect," he said. Bartov pressed the knife against her neck and Alexa took in a sharp breath.

"Tell me what you know about the Proxy Virus and how to disable it," he said. Alexa's eyes darkened and she sat there, attempting to formulate an answer that wouldn't kill both of them. She had not expected them to be so stupid to fall for it for that long and Bartov could see the shock written all over he face.

They weren't as slow as she thought they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out my poster for Agent Chetiri on my tumblr page!


	25. Chapter 24

_The closer you look, the less you actually see._

_**-J. Daniel Atlas** _

* * *

_**"Tell me what you know about the Proxy Virus and how to disable it."** _

Alexa's eyes darkened and she sat there, attempting to formulate an answer that wouldn't kill both of them. She had not expected them to be so stupid to fall for it for that long and Bartov could see the shock written all over her face.

They weren't as slow as she thought they were.

"I made the Proxy Virus in an attempt to slow you down. When did you find out?" she said softly.

"We found the crack in the system about a month ago, but I'm guessing that it's been there longer," he said, glaring at her. "How long?"

"Six months. Took you long enough to figure it out," she said, with a roll of her eyes. Bartov felt a flash of anger flare up and he pressed the knife against her throat, causing her to wince in pain. Alexa's expression of pain soon faded and she kept her composure, knowing it was better to stay calm than panic.

"You released the Proxy Virus months ago and stole the files on Operation Chetiri. You had to put it somewhere, so where is it?" he hissed.

"It could be anywhere and nowhere all at once. I could have destroyed it months ago, for all you know," she said coolly.

"You couldn't have destroyed it. Information like that is too valuable to destroy," Bartov snapped.

"Hmm, fair point. But only I know where the information is hidden and you can't kill me because of it," she said tauntingly. He stared at her for a moment and pushed the knife away, glaring at her once more. Bartov then turned to Q and pressed the knife against his throat.

"She may not tell us, but maybe you can. Talk, boy," he commanded.

"If you're going to threaten me, I would prefer that you do it eloquently," Q said, with a roll of his eyes. He didn't look fazed in the slightest, despite the fact that there was a weapon being held to his throat and two guns being pointed at them. Bartov's face turned beet red and he pressed harder, eliciting a rather bored look from Q. It took all of Alexa's willpower not to laugh at how bored Q looked through all of this and she thought it was impressive, how he coped with a situation like this.

"Where is it?" he said.

"It is a pronoun, taking the place of a subject that I'm honestly unclear about. I would advise you specify, so we can actually get somewhere," Q said dryly.

"The files for Operation Chetiri have to be stored somewhere. Your girlfriend here must've told you something, so where is it?" Bartov said.

"I don't have a clue. She hasn't told me anything," Q said smoothly.

"Liar! You've been together long, haven't you? She must have said something!" he said, glaring at Q.

"Technically, we've only been together for a day and I don't recall her saying anything to me about a Proxy Virus," Q said, shrugging his shoulders. Alexa watched him carefully, noting that he was quite believable when he lied and wondered how many time he had gotten away with such a thing.

Bartov moved away from Q and shouted at one of the men, taking their pistol. He stowed the knife in his jacket and pointed it at her head. "Alexa, tell me how to disable it," he hissed.

"That won't do, not at all," Alexa said with a hint of a smile on her face. "The information is gone already. If you disable the virus, there won't be anything left."

"I am losing my patience with you. If you don't tell me where the files are, I will shoot him! Do you understand?" Bartov roared, making a swift motion with his hand and pressing the gun against Q's head.

Q saw a flicker of fear in her eyes and knew that she was going to give her fake drive away any second now. He decided that while she handled Bartov, he would examine their means of escape and glanced around at the men in the room.

They were men of average build and he could take them in hand to hand combat if he tried. He could kick Bartov in the knees, knocking the gun out of his hand, but there was a high probability the other man would shoot if he did. He glanced over in Alexa's direction and discreetly caught her eye, to tell her that he was trying to figure something out.

Alexa watched Q's eyes examining the men carefully and she knew that he was plotting to get them out of the situation. She shifted her gaze away from his and back at Bartov, who was waiting expectantly. "The files are hidden on a jump drive somewhere here, if you know where to look," she said, a sly smile gracing her features.

"Tell me where it is, Alexa, or else your boyfriend gets his brains blown out," he said, jabbing the gun against Q's head.

"I will tell you if you'll take that bloody pistol off his head," she said, her eyes glinting with anger.

"Not a chance," he said, smirking at her triumphantly.

"Leave him out of this!" Alexa snapped, her eyes filled with fury. She drew back, knowing that she had given Bartov something to work around, but the words that followed could not help but escape her lips.

"Let him go and I'll tell you. Please," she said softly. Her eyes were shadowed with concern and Q saw true fear in her eyes. He could see one of her back-up plans now; if there was no way out, at least let him get away. Q could not bear to see her attempting to sacrifice herself for his sake again and glared at her.

"Alexa, no-" he began. He was interrupted by a burst of Bartov's laughter, filling the quiet room.

"Why Alexa, is that sentiment I see? You've just broken one of the biggest rules we taught you," he said.

"Rule number one: no emotional attachments. Am I right?" she said dryly.

"Ah, so you still remember," he said, looking amused.

"I remember the rules all too well," Alexa muttered, shaking her head. She was busy formulating another plan and the gears in her brain clicked together as she decided how to play Bartov into believing her.

"Let him go and I'll tell you," her eyes hardening once more.

"Tell me and maybe I will let him go," Bartov replied.

"I don't want maybe. I want a definite yes," Alexa argued. Tension hung in the air and Bartov thought about it before giving her a wide-toothed grin.

"Alright, I'll honour your request. Just tell me where it is," Bartov lied.

"It's in the safest place I know of," she said casually. Alexa paused for a moment and glanced around. "I'll give you a hint: it's in this room."

Bartov shouted an order to the other men and they began searching the room. They were overturning objects and searching through the bookshelf but it seemed that the search would go on longer than Bartov wanted it to.

"Be more specific than that. Exactly where did you hide it?" he said impatiently.

"Look around you. But then again, don't. The answer is hiding in plain sight and the more you focus, the less you'll actually see," Alexa said. She was buying both of then enough time to ensure her success and Bartov fell for the bait.

"I don't need riddles, you bitch! I need answers, and now!" he snapped. Alexa's eyes were wandering around the room and she took note of the position of the two guardsmen. The one that stood next to the window (and in turn, next to Q) held the gun and the one that was near the bookshelves was unarmed. She quickly finalized her plan and glanced over at Q to let him know. He nodded and she let out a sigh before glancing up at Bartov.

"A woman carries it wherever she goes," she said dryly. Bartov's eyes lit up and he turned to tell the two men where it was.

The moment he turned, Q and Alexa sprang up and took on their respective opponents. Alexa kicked Bartov in the knees and wrestled the gun out of his fingers, before punching him in the face. He fell against the floor and didn't come back up, so she busied herself with the other man. She didn't want to kill anyone in Q's home in a bloody manner so she assaulted the other man with a series of kicks and punches. Alexa raised her leg high and hit the man in the shoulder, knocking him painfully to the ground. His head hit the hardwood floor and Alexa hit him once more with her heel at the base of his neck, to knock him out.

Q, on the other hand, was able to surprise the man next to him and aimed a kick at his back, knocking him against the wall. The gun fell out of the man's hands and Q barely had enough time to dodge a punch aimed at his face. He blocked another hit with his forearm and kicked him in the chest, causing the man to stumble back. Q took the opportunity to punch him in the face and landed a swift kick at his solar plexus. He felt the man's fist hit the side of his face and Q grabbed his wrist, twisting it painfully behind his back. He let out a yell of pain and Q hit him quickly with the side of his hand at a pressure point in the neck, knocking him unconscious. Q grabbed the gun and kept it pointed at Bartov, who was writhing on the floor. He caught Alexa staring at him and gave her a casual smirk.

"You never told me you could fight that well!" Alexa said, looking impressed.

"Well, you didn't exactly tell me everything about you so I think it's only fair to keep some of my secrets," Q smirked, pointing the gun in his hand at the other men in the room. Alexa simply rolled her eyes and put her boot on top of Bartov's back, before returning her attention to him and pointing the gun at his head.

"I honestly can't believe you lot," she chuckled. "You call yourselves master criminals? It's pathetic, really."

"Watch your tongue, missy. I'm one of INTERPOL's most wanted," he hissed.

"Huh. Misha Bartov, a self-proclaimed "wanted criminal", was oh so close; but yet, you weren't. At least you tried," she said mockingly. Alexa paused for a moment before pressing her foot against him harder. "But then again, like Seneca said, in war, there's no prize for second place."

Bartov let out a grunt and squirmed beneath her. She clicked the safety off and he stopped moving, once again, before looking up at her to speak. "You're but one in this game, Alexa. You are an insignificant girl against forces more powerful than you. I'm not afraid of you, along with the rest of the Agency," he said. Her eyes darkened and she pressed down again, causing him to wheeze out a breath.

"I don't think you understand what I'm capable of, Bartov. I have information that could make or break you and your associates. I'm a bigger force in this game than you anticipated, as I have the power to bring all of you down and I will be damned if I do nothing," she said sternly, a steely glint in her eyes. "Is that clear?"

Bartov was quiet for a long time before he let out a chuckle. "You're a feisty little thing now, aren't you? You're not the scared, mousy little girl I remember, like when we went after Varenka Tverskov," he said, grinning widely at her. He knew full well that he would strike a nerve with this thought and a flicker of shame flashed through her eyes but she shook her head.

"Matters such as those should be left in the past," she said coolly.

"Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that. The figures from your past is going to reemerge in the most terrible fashion imaginable," he said with a grin.

"How?"

"The Agency is coming for you. Katja told me last month that they're not after what makes you tick anymore; they're content with the way their lives are now and now they view you as a threat to their lifestyle," he said.

"What are they after?" Alexa said, feeling the same, familiar feeling of fear creep in. It was a sickening sensation the made her skin crawl, as if she was being turned inside out.

"You're getting too close to revealing the operation, yet you were the only one who managed to survive it. They'll take everything you have, find out what made you tick all those years and send men to silence you, once and for all. Once you're dead, they'll take the Operation Chetiri files from you and start the program with harsher, more savage techniques to make agents who surpass you," he hissed.

"I won't let that happen, not as long as I'm alive. No child should ever be subjected to what I was put through," she said defiantly.

"You're undaunted by the challenge, but it won't hurt to slow you down," Bartov muttered. Alexa wondered what he had said and leant forward to ask. However, he acted quickly and pulled the knife out of his coat, making a long and thin slash against her calf. Alexa cried out in pain and she heard Q shout her name, before running towards her. He shot Bartov in the knee out of fury and the man let out a howl of pain, shouting vulgarities in Russian, causing the knife to fly out of his grip and reach. Q set her down on the floor next to Bartov's head and attempted to stop the bleeding.

"Hold still. It doesn't look too good," Q said, trying to apply pressure on her bleeding leg with his scarf.

"It barely broke the skin. I'll be okay," she said, trying to make him feel better. It wasn't too deep of a scar but it was still deep enough to bleed a bit and it would need stitches. She knew it would put her out of commission for a week or so. Alexa sat on the floor with him as he wrapped his scarf around her leg. The coppery smell of blood filled the air and she felt her stomach turn. She hated that scent, for it was one she was all too familiar with and it reminded her of an unpleasant past. As she sat there, she stared down at Bartov once more before deciding to ask him one last thing.

"You were going to kill both of us, weren't you?" she said softly.

"Yes," Bartov said without hesitation.

"Well, take a number. You've got a long line ahead of you," Alexa said with a smirk before hitting him with her fist in the neck. Bartov's head rolled against the floor and Alexa sighed in relief, knowing that they had won. For now, at least.

"Stay still. I'll be back," Q said as he rushed off to get some towels. Alexa stayed there obediently, keeping her gun pointed at the men in the room in case they woke up. She was watching him as he came back with his phone and a stack of cloths.

"Sherlock, I need you at my place," Q demanded. There was a pause before he responded again, sounding slightly angry. "Yes, I need you here now! We've been attacked. A man named Misha Bartov from the Agency followed us home. Take John and bring a medical kit. Don't waste any time."

He hung up and sent M a brief text, telling him that they had been attacked and they needed someone to take the men away. Q set his phone aside and sat down beside her, continuing to compress the wound. Alexa placed her hand on top of his, pushing it away gently.

"I can stitch it up. You didn't need to call John and Sherlock," she said, moving his hand off her calf.

"I had to. John's a qualified doctor and I didn't want it to get infected or something," he said. Q inspected the large gash and let out a noise of frustration. He was going about this the wrong way and he strove to make it right.

"Take off your trousers, Alexa," he muttered. Despite her wound, she couldn't help but laugh out loud and Q shot her a dirty look.

"That's the weirdest thing you've asked me to do so far," she said.

"You're injured and yet you still find the energy to laugh," he said. Q sighed and shook his head. "You're truly an enigma."

"Laughter always takes the edge off things," she said, slipping off her trousers. She got off one leg successfully, but winced as she peeled the fabric away from her skin with the other leg. Alexa swore under her breath and managed to get it off her leg. In a matter of seconds, she sat in his living room, completely trouser-less. She had forced him to go upstairs and he came back with a pair of shorts for her.

"We've only been dating for a day and I've already seen you without any trousers on," he said, handing her the pair of shorts.

"That's not true! You've seen more than that," she muttered to herself as she wrapped the cloth around her leg. Apparently, he heard what she said and turned a distinct shade of red at the thought. Alexa realised this a second too late and stared up at him.

"Sorry, did I say that out loud? You weren't supposed to hear that," she said, slipping her shorts on. Like him, there was a distinct blush on her cheeks and he bent down and kissed her gently on the lips.

"I have seen more than that, but not today. I wouldn't do that to you with your current condition, gimpy," he teased, patting her leg. She made a displeased face and folded her arms across her chest.

"Don't make fun of the temporarily incapacitated!" she pouted petulantly.

"I couldn't resist the opportunity. You're fun to pick on," he chuckled as he stood up to answer the door. Q opened the front door and let the two men in without so much as a word. Sherlock stood quietly at the front of the room, inspecting the scene while John could only stare at the room in shock.

"Jesus! What happened?" John said, staring at the bodies on the floor.

"These men attacked you on your way home and attempted to garner information out of you, but you attacked them when they weren't paying attention. Am I correct?" he said, leaning down to feel for a pulse on one guard.

"Correct as always. M's sent reinforcements to clean up the bodies," Q said, watching John as he crouched down next to Alexa.

"Nice to see you again, Alexa. Got yourself into a bit of trouble, didn't you?" he said as he opened his medical kit.

"I would hardly say a bit," Alexa shrugged. John inspected the damage and he pulled out a needle. Upon realizing that his tools had rusted, he looked up and glared at Sherlock.

"Sherlock! Did you bother to sterilize these the last time you used them?" John said.

"For Christ's sake, John, have you seen the state of my flat? If I don't clean that, there's a low chance I'll bother to clean my tools," Sherlock argued. John sighed and wrapped another cloth around her leg to staunch the bleeding.

"Not good. We're going to have to go to Bart's to clean this up," he said.

"Molly's working a late shift tonight, so she'll let us in," Sherlock said as he looked in his pockets for a phone or any form of identification but there was nothing more than a wallet. He picked it up and began to flip through it and Q stared at him in surprise and glared at him.

"Don't tell me you're going to take that," he said accusingly. Sherlock raised an eyebrow at him, wondering if he was serious, and pocketed the item. It could be useful, in their future endeavors. Q stared at him and shook his head, turning back around to attend to Alexa.

"Alexa, what did this man say to you while he was awake?" Sherlock said, watching Q and John wrap up her leg as he inspected the wallets of the other men.

"The Agency were coming to kill me once and for all and they knew I took the files on Operation Chetiri," she said. "In turn, Q's life is in danger too."

"Good, good," he said absentmindedly. "But go back to the bit where he said they would kill you. How did Bartov know that they would kill you?" This was vital information that could make or break their efforts to trace the Agency and Alexa blinked in surprise at the unexpected inquiry.

"I...remember he said that Katja told him last month," she said. "I can only assume he's talking about Katja Morozova, one of the members of the Agency."

A smirk split across Sherlock's face and he stood up from his crouching position. John stared at him in wonderment, thinking of where he could be going with this and gave him a confused look. "What? Why would any of this matter, Sherlock?" John said in bewilderment.

"Misha Bartov, who went under the alias Ivan Chbotsky, talked to Katja Morozova for the information recently. Ergo, it's most probable that they met in person," he said.

"We can track him down using his alias name and at least pick up on Morozova's trail. Sherlock checked the wallets of the other men so we can check their names too as a safety," Q explained to John.

"Either way-" they both began. Sherlock gave Q a dirty look and both took a deep breath to continue.

"Bartov must have-" Sherlock said.

"Contacted Morozova in person-" Q said, glaring at Sherlock.

"So we can track them down to a location," Sherlock said, grinning triumphantly as he finished the sentence. He had gotten the last word once again and Q rolled his eyes, as Sherlock stood smugly in his respective portion of the room.

"Jesus, Sherlock. I swear, you're going to outlive God getting the last word," John muttered as he cleaned up the unused medical tools.

"No kidding. But hell, they're both as sharp as bloody tacks," Alexa muttered from her position on the floor. After a few minutes, she heard sirens down the street and the men arrived, to take Bartov and his men back to the holding facility at headquarters. She watched them leaving and propped herself up on her arm, making an effort to stand up. Q helped her up and put his arm at her lower waist, as if he were going to lift her up.

"You're not carrying me, are you?" she asked.

"I might as well," Q shrugged. "Besides, your calf would technically be elevated and there wouldn't be any pressure applied to it."

"Point taken. Can you even lift me?" she said, looking skeptical. Q picked her up with minimal effort and she let out a squeak of surprise.

"Alexa, I may be tall and somewhat un-athletic, but that doesn't mean I can't lift a..." he said, pausing for a moment to shift her in his arms. "One hundred and twenty-three pound woman. Am I right?"

"She looks more like a one hundred twenty-four," Sherlock pointed out. Alexa gave him a dirty look as a joke and he merely shrugged, not knowing what fault he had committed.

"You're close, Q. Sherlock was right though," she said.

"I'm always right," Sherlock said, looking nonplussed.

"And that's our childhood in a nutshell," Q muttered as he went out the door. Alexa could not help but let out a laugh at his comment and they got a ride from the agents to St. Bart's hospital. Alexa was not sure why they had to go out so far, and decided to ask Sherlock.

"There are so many other hospitals in London. Why that one?" she said curiously.

"They're the only ones that let me use their facilities for personal purposes," he said offhandedly. "Besides, the other hospitals would refuse to do that."

"If she didn't coerce Mike and the others into letting you use the hospital equipment, you wouldn't have opportunities like this," John muttered.

"Nonsense. She's too nice to say no to anyone, especially me," Sherlock interjected.

"You're just lucky she's your girlfriend," John sighed. They watched as the car pulled up to the curb and the four of them hopped out, heading down to the morgue.

Sherlock pushed the doors open and Molly looked up as they arrived. She was currently elbow deep in a corpse's chest cavity and glanced up at them in surprise as they walked in. They were an odd crowd, with a man carrying a woman with a bleeding leg and a stoic John and apathetic Sherlock.

"What are you doing here?" Molly questioned as she pulled her arm out of the corpse's chest, taking his heart along with her. She glanced at the heart in her hand with evident glee and gusto and when she caught Q and Alexa's questioning look, Molly set down the heart in the pan with a flustered look and a mumbled apology.

"We need some tools for stitching up a wound because Sherlock used ours," John said, giving the man a pointed stare. Molly pulled out a set of tools and handed them to Sherlock.

"There's a table over there; it's perfectly safe, I cleaned it an hour ago," she said pleasantly. Alexa took a seat at the table, fully acknowledging the fact that dead bodies lay here before she had and watched as John stitched up her wound. Q sat quietly next to her, watching Sherlock as he interrogated Alexa.

"Give me a profile of the remaining members of the Agency," he said, pacing around the table.

"Okay, well...the four remaining members are Andrei Pavlenko, Katja Morozova, Grigori Azarov, and Mikhail Zharkov," she said.

"Andrei Pavlenko was a former politician in the USSR and he's now a government liaison. He's there when scandals occur and takes care of them as quietly as possible. Katja Morozova, on the other hand, was a Russian geneticist and the less adept children in Operation Chetiri were her test subjects. She works with different crime bosses around Europe as a scientist and develops chemical compounds for longevity," she said.

"Boring. Those one will be easy to catch. I'm willing to bet you can nab them with the facial recognition software. What about the other two?" Sherlock said, waving away the thoughts about the first two candidates.

"Grigori Azarov runs a crime syndicate in Ukraine with Mikhail Zharkov. They threaten government officials across the globe with blackmail material provided by Miss Irene Adler. I'm sure you've heard of her," Alexa said.

"Oh, I've heard of her, all right," Sherlock muttered.

"We got quite the eyeful when we first met her," John piped up. Alexa raised an eyebrow at the two and decided not to ask, given the benevolent look they were exchanging.

"Well, I need her for informational purposes. If I get her information, I can take down Azarov and Zharkov," she said. "Any idea where she is?"

"The last thing I heard was that she lived in America," John said. "That was directly after her faked death three years ago, so she can't be anywhere near there anymore."

"She wanders around the world every now and then to ensure her safety. I last saw her in Sarajevo six months ago, but I've lost most of my contact with her," Sherlock said casually, not thinking too much of what he had said. It was a trivial matter so of course he wouldn't care.

"You did what?" Molly exclaimed, turning around. Sherlock's eyes flickered with alarm and he put a hand on Molly's arm.

"She was a contact, Molly. I thought she could be use-" he began.

"I thought you promised me you'd break all contact with her!" she shot back, looking annoyed.

"I...did," Sherlock said slowly.

"Liar," Molly muttered, angrily closing a cabinet. "You and I are going to deal with this later."

"Looks like you're in trouble," Q said with a smirk.

"Shut up, Q," Sherlock muttered, punching his brother in the arm. Alexa rolled her eyes and rested a hand on her chin.

"Well, do you have any idea of her current whereabouts?" Alexa said, tapping her fingers against her chin thoughtfully.

"I've kept tabs on her favourite spots because I knew she would come in handy for something someday," Sherlock muttered. "I'll make a few phone calls and you should know fairly soon."

"Call Headquarters when you get the information. I can patch it to M and prepare the mission logistics," Q said.

"Will do," Sherlock shrugged. John looked up from his stitching and dabbed the last swab of antiseptic on her leg.

"I'm done, Alexa," he called as he stretched out and sat up. Alexa touched the wound and let out a quiet hmm, staring at her newest wound.

"Thanks, John. I barely felt a thing," Alexa said, looking impressed.

"You learn to do it quickly and efficiently when there are bombs being thrown around you," John said dryly, cleaning up the tools. "Now, don't forget to keep minimal pressure on your leg. If you do that, the stitches should be off in a week."

"I'm sure Q will keep an eye on me during the week. Right?" Alexa said, turning to Q. He had stood up and put his coat over her shoulders.

"I'll prevent you from doing anything potentially strenuous. You can be sure of that," he muttered, taking her by the hand. She entwined her fingers with his and he gave her hand a small squeeze before she turned and smiled at the two.

"Goodbye! Contact us when you get more information about Adler!" Alexa called as she left the room with Q. Sherlock and John made unheard responses that went ignored and she walked (or rather, limped) out of the hospital with Q.

"Are you sure you can walk?" he said skeptically, helping her up the stairs.

"Of course! I've handled near death three times now and this wound blanches in comparison. I'll be fine," she insisted, waving it off as if the pain was nonexistent. Q rolled his eyes at her flippant response and led her into a cab.

"The facial scan should be done by tomorrow morning. Care to go after Morozova and Pavlenko as a unit or separately?" Q asked.

"I'll do it individually. One at a time sounds more beneficial," she said resolutely.

"And the best part? You don't have to do it alone. You have me for help," he said quietly, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Alexa smiled softly as kissed him on the cheek. They headed home and as she sat there with Q, she realized the merits of being with him. He treated her well, not to mention the fact that he was helping her without question. She loved that he was willing to go through this just for we and for once, she was safe.

She wasn't undergoing this road alone and she found that was all that mattered to her.


	26. Chapter 25

_If you don't hunt it down and kill it, it will hunt you down and kill you._

_**-Flannery O'Connor** _

* * *

It had been almost three weeks since Bartov's attack and M had made the decision to execute Bartov and his men. They posed an immediate threat to Alexa, Q, and the entirety of the workplace so they interrogated the men before killing them with poison. It seemed like a a cruel and arguably dubious decision to civilians, but in the world of the MI6, it was kill or be killed. If you threatened the country or lives of others in a big way, you had to be eliminated. It was for the good of all parties and would be beneficial for the country and its citizens.

Meanwhile, Alexa had recovered from her minor injury and was adjusting well to her new life. She frequently visited her grandmother (who was currently staying up in Cambridge with a friend) and went out on dates with Q every other night. During work, she attended daily combat training with James. Combat training was especially harsh, given that she had an idea of what she was doing. James taught her a variety of lethal techniques; some of them she had vaguely learned of, but the majority were obscure and entirely lethal. Although training was tough, she began to see improvements and forged a quick friendship with James.

Q, on the other hand, had been unable to find any traces of Katja through the facial recognition software. It seemed that everywhere he looked, there would be a null and void file that would lead him elsewhere. He was determined to find this woman somewhere and was working hard to track her down, cross matching her image with different video feeds. It was like playing the game searching for the needle in the haystack, and it was taking much longer than he wanted it to.

On that particular day, Alexa had finished her combat training and was heading down the corridor with James. Training had actually went well today, since James said she was improving exponentially and her success put her in a good mood. They were chatting about a variety of things whilst staying out of people's ways. They were heading to the Q-Branch, to see if Q had any new developments for them and if a mission would soon be in store for both of them.

"So, you two are really a thing?" he said as he led her down the hallway.

"Believe it or not, we are. He's still a little bit angry with me for faking my death, though," she said with a shrug.

"I wouldn't blame him. Eve was the same way when I came back from being dead. She thought she killed me," he chuckled.

"I guess we're alike in that aspect, then," Alexa said with a laugh, as James opened the door for her. They both walked into the Q-Branch and found that it was busier than usual. About half of the room was typing away at their computers while the others were scattered around the room, designing weapons. Q stood at his computer, typing rapidly and inspecting the information that was piled and scattered across his desk. He barely registered the fact that they had arrived and the sound of the door closing surprised him slightly.

"Morning, Q. Anything new?" Alexa called as she walked in. Upon realizing that she had rhymed, she found herself stifling a giggle. Q rolled his eyes and hid a smile, knowing that she was easily amused by simple things like rhymes.

"You're in a good mood. Did something happen?" he remarked as he continued typing out a long string of commands.

"James says I've improved since I first started," she said, glowing with pride.

"Did he really?" Q said absentmindedly as he continued to input commands. His brain was elsewhere at the moment and he was only half-listening since he was cross-matching the video data.

"I did. It's no guarantee that she won't die when she's out in the field, but at least she has a much higher probability of surviving," James shrugged. The two stood next to Q and Alexa peeked over his shoulder, wondering what he had unearthed.

"Did you find anything on Katja?" she said.

"I'm close. I've narrowed it down and I'm in the final stage of locating her. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack," he muttered.

"I'd certainly hate to have that job," James muttered. He glanced at Q and Alexa and upon deciding that he was likely needed elsewhere, stepped back.

"I'm off. See you two later," he said as he turned towards the door and gave them a dismissive wave.

"Bye, James. See you tomorrow," she said as she waved goodbye. Q was content with silently typing until what Alexa had said finally registered in his mind.

"Hang on, since when did he become James?" Q said as he turned to Alexa.

"James is his name, Q," Alexa said, looking at him oddly. "Did you forget?"

"It's just...first name basis implies close association, that's all," he muttered. Alexa blinked in surprise and a grin slowly crept onto her face.

"You're not jealous, are you?" she said teasingly.

"No! That's ridiculous," Q said quickly, his cheeks turning a distinct shade of red. He looked away from her and before she could retaliate, a video feed popped up on his screen. His mind focused back to his work and he effectively interrupted Alexa's teasing.

"I've got it. Finally," he said, letting out a sigh. Alexa looked at the video and her eyes brightened up when she saw the figure on the screen.

"That's her! When was this taken?" she asked. Q found the time stamp and opened it on the screen to show her.

"It was taken yesterday and it's as recent as we can get," he said. Q pulled up a mapping program and he input the set of coordinates on the time stamp, which dropped a location point on 23rd Street in Kiev.

"The video was taken in Kiev, so she's probably still there," he said, picking up the phone. He dialed M's office and after waiting on hold for a few moments, M picked up.

"Yes?" he said.

"We found Katja," he said. There was a rustling sound on the other end that sounded like papers shuffling and M let out a relieved sigh.

"Thank god. I guess I'll send them off tomorrow, then," he said.

"They?" Q said questioningly.

"I'm sending 007 along with Alexa to keep an eye on her," M said.

"I see," he said thoughtfully. Q wasn't exactly sure how to feel about this and pushed those thoughts out of his head, to address bigger issues. "When do you want me to have their mission materials ready?"

"I want you to get it to them by the end of the day," M said. "They need to leave quickly, in case Katja changes locations. I want them in Kiev tomorrow morning so they can prepare the assassination."

"Right. I'll get them prepared as soon as possible," Q said. M thanked him and he pressed the red button, before setting the phone on the table.

"Well, it looks like you're off on a mission," he said as he hung up the phone.

"I don't know whether to be excited or what," Alexa said truthfully.

"It's both a good and a bad thing," he said with a shrug. "Either way, that's one less that'll come after you."

"Good point," she said as she looked up at the video feed of Katja. "Speaking of which, do you know when I'm supposed to leave?"

"M wants you at Kiev tomorrow morning," he said, closing the window with the video. He pulled up another screen and was attempting to figure out where Katja would be and why she was there. Alexa watched him as he worked and took a seat at the chair next to his desk. She sat quietly and watched as he pored over different files and video feeds, jotting down quick notes as he worked. Q prepared a rather lengthy stack of files for both of them and he called in James to give both of them the mission logistics. Alexa sipped her newly made coffee and swung her legs back and forth as James entered the room.

"Mission logistics?" James said as he walked towards Q's desk.

"Precisely. Here's one for you," Q said, handing him a file. He gave one to Alexa as well and she flipped through its contents, acquiring a general idea of what they would be doing.

"I've acquired the signal from the phone she was using that helped me track her and nabbed her schedule. It says that she should be in Kiev tomorrow for a party," he said.

"Party? With whom?" Alexa asked curiously.

"His name is Fyodor Kozlov. He was a former Ukrainian ambassador but was fired under the suspicion of running a crime syndicate," he said.

"Why would she be there? She's a geneticist," Alexa wondered aloud.

"Kozlov must have hired her to do something for him. Have they had any previous contact?" James asked.

"Not that I've seen," Q said, shaking his head.

"She studies longevity, so he must have hired her to make him live longer," he muttered.

"I suppose you've got a fair point, James," Alexa said as she looked through the files. She set the files on the table and looked up at Q. "Do we have anything else we need to look at?"

"Not really, but I have your passport and tickets for tomorrow. We have her on location now, so feel free to do whatever you deem necessary to eliminate her," Q said, handing them two different envelopes. Alexa inspected hers carefully and James merely tucked his under his arm.

"Do I get any new weapons?" James said.

"As long as you don't break them," Q said, glaring at him as he pulled out a black case from the drawer and handed it to him.

"We've supplied you with a newly modified Walther. It fires underwater and can switch to bullets with the blast power of an RPG missile with the press of this button. It still has the same features as the last one, but it has a built-in silencer and can fire at a longer range," Q said. James balanced the gun in his hand and inspected it with a look of approval.

"Did you ever make that pen?" he said.

"Since you bugged us for it, yes, we did," he said, pulling out a silver pen. "Click it once to use it as an actual pen. If you click it twice, it'll transmit your location. Click it three times and it creates a small explosion in a matter of ten seconds."

"Anything else?" James said.

"I've got a Kevlar coat. Give it a try," Q said. James put on the coat without question and Q pulled a pistol out of a drawer, aiming directly at James. Before he could protest, Q fired the shot at his arm and the bullet merely imploded on itself, clattering loudly onto the floor. James stared at it in amazement and shook his head.

"Not a scratch. Impressive," James said, inspecting the area where the bullet had hit. Q merely shrugged and Alexa could not hide her grin of pride. She was proudly dating a man who made guns and Kevlar coats for both work and pleasure. He was different from anyone else she had ever met, not to mention that he was highly intelligent, and that accounted for the majority of his overall appeal.

"Anything for me?" Alexa said hopefully, looking up at Q.

"Don't worry, we made something for you too," Q chuckled. "Joy and William are finalizing your weapons, so you should receive it by the end of the day."

"I'm excited to see what you came up with for me," she said, with a grin on her face. "You wouldn't let me see the blueprints, after all."

"That's the point of a surprise, Alexa. You're not supposed to know what it is; therefore, it fosters a feeling of excitement," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"In fairness, you were good at keeping it a secret. You kept your composure, no matter how much I attempted to persuade you," she said, giving him a sly smirk.

"You are indeed, quite adept at persuasion," he muttered, smiling slightly. "I'm not quite sure how I stood a chance against you."

"Well, persuasion is an art, Q, and it seems you're not too bad at it yourself," Alexa said softly.

"It's an art that needs to be perfected and I certainly wouldn't mind testing it out on you from time to time," he replied, returning her smile with a smirk of his own. They had forgotten James was standing behind them and he let out a groan of disgust.

"Jesus, would you two get a room?" he groaned.

"We're already in a room, so I don't see why we should move," Q said matter-of-factly. Alexa burst out laughing at his frank statement and James merely shook his head, muttering something about lovesick idiots. He shoved his hands in his pockets, with his weapons box and file tucked under his arms and headed towards the door.

"Even I keep the flirting to a minimum when I'm at work," James grumbled.

"Oh, come on! This is coming from the infamous James Bond so it doesn't sound entirely truthful to me," Alexa remarked.

"I beg to differ! Eve can vouch for me on that one," he retaliated, turning around.

"I doubt she would," Alexa muttered. James rolled his eyes and found that he could not keep the smirk off his face because he knew she was right.

"Well, I'm off. I'm not hanging around you two lovebirds any longer," he said.

"Sorry about that, James," Alexa called. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Count on it. See you around," James said as he walked out. Alexa sat back down in the chair and watched Q as he continued to work. He was finalizing the mission logistics for Katja's assassination and Alexa sat quietly, reviewing her files and spinning her chair around every so often out of boredom. It was nearing the end of the day when Q glanced at her and he finally noticed the look on her face.

"Bored?" he said, quirking an eyebrow.

"I guess so. What else is there for an agent to do when they're not out on missions?" Alexa wondered aloud.

"Ask Bond. He always seems to have time on his hands," Michael piped up from his desk, which sat next to hers. The members of the Q-Branch were heading off for the day and Alexa would stay behind and wait for Q, until they could leave.

"That's true. I wonder what he does on his time off," Alexa said thoughtfully.

"Jogging," Joy suggested, as she put her coat on.

"Grocery shopping?" George said.

"Drinking," William and Ryan said unanimously, grinning at each other.

"That's one I could probably believe," Alexa chuckled.

"Alluring women," Q muttered as he continued typing up his documents.

"What was that?" Alexa said, looking up at him curiously.

"Oh, nothing you need to worry about," Q said offhandedly, playing it off as a simple fluke.

"Don't do that! I hate it when you keep things from me," Alexa said, pouting petulantly and folding her arms across her chest.

"Says the girl who kept her entire past from me," Q said dryly.

"That was for a legitimate reason," Alexa huffed.

"Of course it was," he said with a smirk. She rolled her eyes and leaned back, waiting for him to finish his work for the day. After an hour, he was able to finish the last of the preparations for her mission tomorrow and grabbed his things to go home. Alexa followed him upstairs and they walked out of the building, hand in hand. They chatted about a variety of things on their way home and soon found themselves walking up the stairs to the house.

"When do I get my weapons?" Alexa said, with a hint of impatience in her voice.

"Tomorrow morning. You get to wait a bit longer," he replied as he put his thumb on the keypad and opened the door.

"What? That's no fun," Alexa pouted, taking her shoes off as she came inside. She hung her coat on the rack and trailed after Q, who went into the kitchen.

"Why do I have to wait?" she grumbled.

"Maybe I like keeping you in suspense," he shrugged, pulling out various ingredients for dinner from the depths of the refrigerator.

"But I'm your girlfriend," Alexa pouted, folding her arms across her chest. She looked so much like a child that he couldn't help but laugh at her current expression. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him.

"Don't be angry with me. You'll get them eventually," he said, chuckling lightly as he cleared a hair out of her eyes. He thought about something for a moment and leaned towards her again.

"But I'm certainly not against having you attempt to persuade me to give them to you. Feel free to try," Q said softly. A grin spread across her face and she was sure she could get him there.

"Well, I'll do my best," she murmured. Alexa reached up and trailed a finger on his neck, tilting his chin up to meet her eyes.

"Are you completely sure you don't want to give me those weapons?" she said, looking up at him as innocently as she could manage.

"This isn't fair. You're a natural at this. I shouldn't have even told you to persuade me," he muttered as he looked back down at the woman in his arms.

"Exactly. Next time, be careful with what you wish for," Alexa whispered, leaning up to kiss him lightly on the cheek. She lingered there for a moment and whispered in his ear once again.

"Will you give them to me now, please?" she said politely.

"Nope," Q said, a smirk appearing on his lips. He had stood his ground, despite her attempts to seduce him and it puzzled (not to mention frustrated) Alexa.

"So you really won't give them to me until tomorrow, no matter how hard I try persuade you?" she said, quirking up an eyebrow.

"I'm afraid not. Sorry, love," he said, shaking his head. "Good try, though."

"Damn. I thought I had you then," Alexa sighed. She stayed there for a moment before a thought occurred to her. Alexa looked up at him, with a small smile on her face.

"You know, you said that persuasion's an art that needs to be perfected and I think it wouldn't hurt to practice now," she said.

"Oh? Right now?" he said, looking amused.

"I don't see why not. It's your turn now, so let's start off with something easy. Try to persuade me to kiss you," she said softly.

"Well, you're going to be out on a mission for god knows how long," he pointed out.

"Your point?" Alexa said, raising and eyebrow. She was playing her part well and he thought it was rather endearing to see her do so.

"I won't be able to see you; conversely, you won't be able to see me either. It's internecine for the both of us, not to mention the fact that you'll be stuck with Bond for the next few days," he said. Alexa's eyes lit up at the mention of Bond and she opened her mouth to speak.

"Speaking of Bond, I asked you-" she began.

"Wait, I'm not finished," he said, putting a finger to her lips. She rolled her eyes and was unable to fight off a smile.

"Go on, then," she said.

"You'll be gone for several days and I'm assuming you'll miss me a fair deal. I'd be highly concerned if you didn't," he murmured in her ear.

"And how do you know I'll miss you that much?" she said softly.

"We snog each other every so often each day. That should be an indication in itself. Besides, I'd miss not having that around, even if it was only for a few days, and I'm sure you would too. In the end, I think the best solution is to get me while you've got me here, which is to kiss me, so to speak," he said as he grinned at her. "What do you have to say to that?"

"Well done. I couldn't be more satisfied," she said, kissing him lightly on the cheek. Alexa tried to pull away from him to head upstairs but he merely let out a groan and did not loosen his grip.

"Oh, come on. Is that really all I get? I haven't kissed you once today, except now," he sighed.

"I suppose we need to do something about that. Not like I mind, though," she said softly, giving him a grin. Alexa wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in, kissing him gently. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she pressed on boldly, that same rush of excitement rushing through her veins. Every time they kissed, the excitement remained for both of them and it was as if they were kissing for the first time again. Kisses (no matter how simple) did not lose their novelty and they both hoped that they never would. However, today was different and their kiss grew more and more fervent (if not, more urgent) as the seconds ticked by. Such a feeling of urgency was usually non-existent when they were kissing and it worried her, as it showed up now. Alexa felt her back pressing against the counter behind her and pulled away momentarily, sensing that something was off with her boyfriend.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she said, looking up at him.

"Nothing," he said, looking puzzled. "What makes you say that?"

"I'm not sure. It seems like something's off with you, though," she said, touching the side of his face gently.

"I'm perfectly fine. Don't worry about it," he said, giving her a reassuring kiss on the cheek. Alexa could only smile at him in response and gave him one last peck on the lips.

"I won't bug you too much anymore. You were going to cook, after all," she pointed out, pulling away from him.

"You were too busy kissing the cook to let me start," he chuckled. Alexa let out a laugh and made her way out of the kitchen.

"I need to pack my things, so I'll be upstairs," she called. "Let me know when you're done."

Q nodded and started to cook while Alexa popped off upstairs and took a shower. She exited the bathroom about fifteen minutes later and sat down on the floor, to begin packing her things for tomorrow's mission. Alexa sat there, polishing various weapons and stowing them in a small valise. She was trying to pick and choose what else she needed to take and organized her weapons, devising a plan for the mission. Alexa needed Katja alive for a little bit, so she could get information out of her for the others' whereabouts. In turn, she would have to kidnap her from the party. Alexa threw a dress into the bag, along with her heels, a first aid kit, and her running shoes. She sat there, happily continuing her work, before Q came upstairs and told her dinner was ready.

She went downstairs and the couple shared a quiet dinner together. Alexa watched him carefully, but did not ask him what was causing him to act a bit off. She figured she could get him to tell her later, if she asked him. Alexa stayed quiet about the subject until they were both lying in bed, getting ready to go to sleep. She was now lying in his arms, with her body pressed up against his.

"Something's off about you," she said softly, running her fingers through his curls.

"Hmm? If there's something wrong, I'm afraid I don't see it," he said.

"You seem like you're afraid to let me go on my mission," Alexa replied, drawing her eyes away from his. Q was silent for a moment before finally letting out a sigh.

"In truth, I don't want to let you go," he said, toying absentmindedly with a strand of her hair. "It's dangerous out there and I don't want someone hurting you."

"But that's the nature of my job, Q. I have to put my life on the line to ensure the safety of others," she said gently.

"I know that, but when you go away, there's a chance that you might not come back to me. That's still a little difficult to accept and you leave me here to worry," he said. Alexa was not sure of what to tell him in response and she heard him chuckling quietly to himself.

"I honestly should've thought expected that before dating a 00-agent," he said. Alexa let out a sigh at realizing how much he worried about her and she looked up at him with a wistful gaze in her eyes.

"In a way, I am sorry for putting you through this sort of thing," Alexa said softly, with a distinct look of guilt in her eyes. "I run off, doing something risky or reckless, and I leave you here to worry about me. It's not fair to you and I'm sorry about it."

"It's okay, Alexa. We have to deal with some things to make it work, don't we?" he said as he leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.

"I suppose you're right," she said, shifting slightly in his arms. Alexa lay there quietly, with thoughts racing through her head. She could not help feel guilty for leaving him again, just as she returned to him. Her mind soon began to wander as she grew sleepier and sleepier, and she wondered how difficult killing Katja would be. Worry began to arise in her chest but the continuous motion of Q running his fingers through her hair helped calm her down and she kissed him good night before finally drifting off to sleep.

Her problems hadn't been solved in one go, but at least she could delay her worries until morning.

* * *

_**(The next morning...)** _

_"Alexa, wake up."_

She felt someone place a hand on the small of her back and stirred slightly. Alexa rolled over, looking up sleepily at Q for a moment before putting her head under a pillow and letting out a groan.

"No," she grumbled. "I don't want to."

"Come on, Alexa. Your flight is in two hours. It'll take you a little bit to get ready and at least forty five minutes to get to Heathrow, plus another half-hour to get through airport processes," he said, shaking her gently.

"I don't know. You'd have to do some pretty good persuasion to get me out of bed," Alexa muttered. Q sighed and cleared the pillow away, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"Please?" he said patiently. She didn't answer and he smirked, knowing that he had some leverage in this situation that he could still use.

"Well, I guess you won't get your weapons then," he shrugged, standing up. Q was fully aware of Alexa's undeniable curiosity and baited her with a bribe. At this, Alexa seemed to fully awaken. Her curiosity had gotten the best of her, and sat up.

"Wait a minute, say that again," she said.

"You'll never get to find out what the surprise is. That's a shame, but that's your choice, I suppose," Q said as he headed towards the door.

She stared at Q with an amused look on her face, folding her arms across her chest. "Oh, that just isn't fair!" she said, looking amused.

"What is?" he said innocently, looking up as he opened the door.

"You're guilting me," Alexa said accusingly.

"I'm not doing anything," Q said, with a casual shrug of his shoulders. He made his way out of the room but came back, popping his head in for a quick word or two.

"But I'll give them to you if you come downstairs, fully prepared," he said, giving her an angelic grin. Q left again before she could say anything and she blinked in surprise.

"Q, that's bribery! That doesn't count," Alexa pointed out as she got out of bed.

"Bribery is still a form of persuasion, so technically, it counts," Q called from downstairs. She shook her head good-naturedly and padded off to the bathroom, where her clothes hung on a hanger.

Alexa took a quick shower and brushed her teeth before drying off her hair and brushing it behind her shoulders. She slipped on her outfit for the day before heading downstairs to meet Q in the kitchen.

"Morning," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Morning. Your coffee's over there. Two sugars and cream," Q said as he took a sip of tea.

"You remembered that. How sweet of you," she said with a smile. He responded with a smile of his own and took a bite out of his toast.

"Do I get to see them now?" she said, nudging him gently with her hip.

"Of course. I am a man of my word, after all. Here you are," he said, handing her a black case. She opened it eagerly and saw a rather odd assortment of objects- a tube of lipstick, a jar of cream, pills, a black shirt, and a gun.

"Lipstick? A shirt?" she said questioningly, wondering what correlation they held towards each other.

"I'll start with the shirt. It's made out of the modified Kevlar, like Bond's jacket is. I'm not entirely sure of what you like to wear, so I made an undershirt for you," he said. "It has a high tensile strength, but it can withstand only a few hits before it tears. It's a work in progress, but it should do for now."

"Excellent as always. What about the other things?" Alexa said as she picked up the small jar of cream.

"I'll tell you about the gun first. It's our own model, with a custom biometrics scanner in the trigger. Essentially, it has the same features as Bond's Walther PPK. It had a built in silencer and can fire both underwater and at a longer distance, not to mention the fact that you can press this button to use a bullet with the blast force of an RPG missile," Q said.

"What are the specs?" Alexa said, balancing the pistol in her hand.

"It's a high performance gun, and although it has a rotating barrel design, it still has a shorter and more proportioned slide and grip. This has the stopping power of a .45 auto round and has better accuracy and range, with a lighter recoil too. It uses a full size magazine, so it can fire about 17 to 20 rounds," Q said. "Put simply, it's like the bastard child of a Glock 21 and a Beretta PX4 Storm."

Alexa chuckled at his comment and examined the gun once more. "I get the best of both, then," she muttered.

"You do, but what do you really think about it?" Q said expectantly.

"So far, it looks fine. Bit weighty, but that's actually better because it feels like it won't slip out of my hands. I think I'm going to like it," she said, giving him a smile.

"Thank god. I honestly wasn't sure if you would like it or not. I may know how you like your coffee, but that doesn't mean I know how you like your guns," Q said, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Overall, I think you do fairly well in both departments," she said with a laugh. Alexa looked at the final item in the case and picked up the gold tube. "What's this one?"

"Oh, that's lipstick. I quite liked making that one. I collaborated with Sherlock to develop this one," he said.

"Sherlock's capable of collaborating? I'm not sure if I can believe that," Alexa said, raising an eyebrow.

"If it's interesting then yes, he'll be willing to help me," Q replied.

"But he's your brother. Isn't he obligated to help you, or something like that?" Alexa said, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion at the unfamiliar concept of normal sibling dynamics.

"He might be my brother, but that doesn't mean that he has to help me. I'm just lucky he likes me better than Mycroft. Otherwise, he could care less about what I do," Q said, taking a sip of his tea.

"Huh. That certainly sounds like a healthy sibling dynamic," she muttered. "So, what did he do to help you?"

"Well, besides being a detective, he's actually a graduate chemist as well. I stole him away from his work for a bit and worked with him to develop a new compound, which is made of hemotoxin venom and digoxin extract."

"Digoxin and hemotoxin venom? Don't those affect the heart?" Alexa asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Precisely. Digoxin, if used in small doses, functions as a cardiac stimulant. Hemotoxin venom wants to stop the heart so it would stand to reason that if you combine the two in highly concentrated solutions, they'll be completely lethal. We infused it in your lipstick and it can kill a person in a matter of minutes, no matter their build," Q said. Alexa blinked in surprise and examined the gold tube.

"Huh, that's interesting. Anything special I need to do when I'm handling it?" Alexa said, examining the gold tube curiously.

"First, you take the pills. The pills are made of an antivenin that we took from a sheep and potassium, which counteracts the effects of the poison and keeps you safe. After that, take the jar of cream and apply a bit to your lips. They're made of the same materials as the pills and they prevent you from accidentally absorbing the poison. Just make sure not to get any of the lipstick on your skin," Q said. Alexa could only stare at the small tube she held in her hands, amazed by the fact that something so small was entirely lethal.

"So you essentially made me killer lipstick?" Alexa said, looking amused.

"Well, I don't see why not. It was a perfectly legitimate idea, not to mention the fact that whatever unlucky man decides to kiss you gets killed," Q scoffed.

"What if you accidentally kiss me while I've got it on?" Alexa whispered, leaning in. "Did you ever think of that?"

"We made a serum already to reverse its effects and I keep that on me, so I don't die on accident," Q chuckled. "And yes, I did think about that. In fact, it was the first thing that came to mind."

"We won't have any trouble with that, then," Alexa said, kissing him on the cheek. She put her cup in the sink and washed it swiftly before heading upstairs to brush her teeth. Alexa grabbed her suitcase from the other room before heading downstairs once more.

"I'm heading off. I'll take the Tube, since it saves me from buying petrol," Alexa said, slipping on her shoes.

"Sounds good. I'll be heading off to work in a bit as well," Q said, putting his cup back in the cupboard. She put on her coat and attempted to reach a pair of gloves, which sat on the top shelf.

"Here you are," Q said with a grin as he came over and grabbed them for her. She rolled her eyes and slipped the gloves on.

"I'm not short," Alexa grumbled.

"Well, you're shorter than me, and that's what counts," he said with a shrug. He picked up her suitcase and handed it to her.

"Hey, bring those weapons back in one piece, alright?" Q said, giving her a meaningful glance. "You'll be in trouble with me if you don't."

"I will. I won't turn out like Bond," she said, smiling slightly. Alexa took her case and put on a hat before turning back to face him.

"Well, I'm off. See you in a few days," she said. Q put an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him, his lips brushing against her ear.

"Come back to me intact and alive, alright? I've almost lost you once already, and I don't want you to lose you for good," he murmured.

"I'll be careful. I promise," Alexa said, smiling softly at him.

"You should be," he grumbled. "God knows I worry far too much about you already."

She looked up at him once more before planting a kiss on his lips. "I love you," she said softly, so only he could hear.

"I love you too," he said quietly. Q was silent for a moment before another important thought occurred to him.

"Make sure to keep Bond away while you're out. He's not too keen on identifying boundaries," he said casually. It was entirely unexpected and Alexa found herself laughing.

"I knew it! You were jealous," Alexa said triumphantly.

"How could I not be jealous? This is the same man that is notorious for shagging every woman he meets," Q scoffed.

"Alright. I'll make sure to keep him away," Alexa chuckled, ruffling his hair affectionately. She picked up her baggage and adjusted her hat.

"Well, I'll be heading off now. I'll call you if I can," she said as she took her bag.

"Good luck. Be careful," he said, smiling slightly.

"I will be. See you soon," Alexa said as she headed out the door. She shut the first door and stood in the foyer for a moment. Alexa knew that her life followed the principle of predation- kill them before they kill you. However, it left a bad taste in her mouth and she knew that she had caused a lot of bloodshed already. She shook off any hesitation right then and there, upon realizing that this was truly necessary for survival, and headed outside. Unlike Lot's wife in the biblical story of old, she didn't look behind on any of the doubts she had left behind. She was ready to taken on the hell that would stand before her but this time, as 008.

* * *


	27. Chapter 26

_Anything that can go wrong will go wrong._

_**-Captain Edward Murphy** _

* * *

_**(December 4, 2013- 1:15 PM)** _

Alexa and James sped through the streets of Kiev, Ukraine in a sleek black sedan that M had arranged for them to use. They had landed in Kiev about three hours ago and were heading towards their hotel.

"How long do you think we'll be here?" Alexa said.

"That all depends on you and how you wish to execute this kill," James said, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel.

"Well, Q texted me earlier and told me that the party's been rescheduled to tomorrow, seven o'clock. That's actually better, so we have enough time to finalize everything," Alexa said.

"Alright. What exactly is the plan?" James asked as he turned the car into the roadway. He swore loudly, realizing that they would be caught in traffic and leant his head against his hand as they waited in the crowded street. Alexa pulled out her laptop and brought up a screen with the blueprints of Kozlov's house that Q had given her.

"Kozlov's house is a two-story, manor style home with a surrounding wall and a back entrance. His house is equipped with a top-of-the-line security system and has four armed guards stationed at each corner of the house. Each guard's shift ends at 7:00, and new ones come in at around 7:05. There are security cameras at each entrance and exit. At the party, security will be guarding one focal point of the house- the ballroom. We need to speak with her privately before killing her which means leading her away. How can I draw her away without attracting attention?" Alexa said as she went through the various locations on her laptop.

"I could always just lead her away. Don't forget, I am quite persuasive with women," James pointed out.

"Oh. Well, I was thinking of putting laxatives in her food, but that seems like a more feasible option," Alexa said, blinking in surprise.

"Laxatives?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that. If I'm going to kill someone, I might as well do it creatively," Alexa muttered.

"How unorthodox. So that's why Q likes you so much," James muttered. "After we lead her away, where do we take her?"

"We bring her to the warehouse district. We can interrogate and kill her there," Alexa said, shutting her laptop.

"But remember, that's if everything goes perfectly," he pointed out. "And what have I always told you about that?"

"Missions are never flawless, otherwise they would be much too easy. I have to plan for all of the possible scenarios with the mindset that something will screw up somewhere," Alexa said, sounding bored.

"Precisely. So, let's start from the beginning. Are there any prerequisites we have to deal with before the mission starts?" James said.

"Q is going to hack into the system today and later, he'll tell me where exactly I can tap into the wire that directs the security cameras' feed. Once I tap into that wire, I can set up a mirror image to cover our tracks as we sneak into the party tomorrow through the surrounding wall. Naturally, he'll give me the pass code to the door so we can get in. While we're there, Q will disable the camera systems with a similar sort of technique so nothing will be traced to us," Alexa said.

"In the improbable event that Q fails to hack into their system, what are you going to do?" James said.

"Seriously? James, this is my boyfriend we're talking about. He's the same man that hacked into Russia's government database several times with little to no effort. I honestly doubt he would fail at hacking now," Alexa said, with a roll of her eyes.

"Remember what I said, Alexa. We have to plan ahead, in the event of a disaster," James said sternly.

"Fine," Alexa grumbled. "If worst comes to worst, we can sneak in with the catering company's truck. They'll be there tomorrow evening and we can get in from there."

"Good," James said, looking pleased. "Let's say Q hacks into the mainframe. How will we get in?"

"The guards will change at 7:00. There will be a 5-minute resting period where we can get in through the back entrance. After we get in from the back, we enter separately; you go through the front doorway next to the foyer and I'll wait a bit and come in through the other way. You are to locate Katja and I will circulate around the room," Alexa said.

"Alright. Go on," James said as he turned the car into a less crowded street. He let out a relieved sigh and sped through the street towards their destination.

"I'll be watching you, so once you find her, I'll head off and trigger the fire alarm. Naturally, it'll be utter chaos and I want you to take Katja and lead her away. Bring her to the car and we'll take her away. No one will know and no one will notice because we'll go through the front, where the chaos is going," Alexa said simply.

"What about the guards?" he said.

"Speed is paramount in this situation, so we can avoid them. Once we get past kidnapping Katja, we should be good," she said, watching him as he parked the car in front of their hotel. "It sounds simple enough, so what could go wrong?"

"Everything. We just have to be cautious," James shrugged. Alexa rolled her eyes and followed him out of the car. She pulled out her case from the backseat and went inside the hotel with James.

"What's your cover story?" Alexa muttered under her breath as they walked inside a tastefully decorated hotel. She glanced quickly at her passport that sat in her purse and shut her bag.

"You decide. This is your mission, after all," James grumbled. "And remember, you have to make one for both of us."

Alexa didn't have time to protest and fell silent as James approached the front desk and gave lovely brunette that sat behind it a disarming smile. "Good morning," he said politely. She blinked in surprise at his charming smile and returned it with one of her own.

"Good morning," she replied. "May I help you two?"

"We'd like to check in," Alexa said, stepping forward.

"Names, please?" the woman said.

"Anna Freeman," Alexa said. The receptionist's painted nails clacked loudly against the keys and James took this opportunity to glance at his wallet. He blinked in surprise before a smirk covered his face and he looked up.

"Yours, sir?" she asked.

"Thomas Freeman," he said coolly. Alexa glanced at him for a second in surprise and racked her brain for a viable cover story.

"Ah, I see. Welcome to Ukraine, Mr. and Mrs. Freeman. What brings you here-" the receptionist began.

"Oh, we're not married. We're..." Alexa said, looking embarrassed. She racked her brain for a viable excuse and felt annoyed by the fact that she couldn't formulate something quickly. Alexa was used to making a cover story for only one person, so it was rather hard for her to make one for both of them.

"We're in town for our aunt's wedding," James said coolly.

"You'll have to forgive my cousin; she can be a bit of a blonde at times," he whispered almost conspiringly at the receptionist. He shot her another disarming smile and the receptionist let out a laugh.

"How lovely! I do hope you'll enjoy your time in Ukraine," the woman said with a smile, handing them a pair of cards. "Your room is upstairs. It's number 501."

"Thank you," Alexa said, her cheeks flushing red. James led her away and they went towards the elevators. They entered the elevator and James pressed the button for the fifth floor before looking at her.

"Amateur. Hope you won't fidget like that tomorrow," he chuckled.

"I work alone, so I've never had to worry about making another person's cover story," Alexa muttered.

"Well, there's always a first time for everything," James shrugged. She rolled her eyes and shook her head good-naturedly as the doors opened, bringing them to the fifth floor.

They walked down the hall and into their room, which had a living room space and two separate bedrooms. James headed off and took a seat at the couch, opening his folder of files while Alexa threw her bag onto the floor. She walked into a room before poking her head out of the doorway and glancing at James.

"James," she said. "Did you want this one?"

"I don't have a particular preference," James shrugged. "At least they didn't put us together."

"Thank god for that," Alexa muttered, putting her bag in the room. She unpacked some of her things before a buzz from her phone alerted her of an incoming text message. Alexa looked up and grabbed her phone off the table.

The video feed runs from a network of wires that can be accessed at Klovska Station nearby.  
-Q

She set her phone down again and slipped on her coat. "James, he's gotten it," Alexa called as she stood up. She walked into the living room and saw him examining his files.

"Right, let's go," he said, putting the papers in his briefcase. He left the room with Alexa and they spent the rest of the day making preparations for tomorrow. After having dinner with James, she sat in her room and reviewed what she had done and what she still needed to do. She had tapped the feed, acquired the door code, and even taken a shower so all that was left was to get a good night's rest. Alexa heard a soft knock on her door and James walked in, with two beers in his hands.

"Fancy a drink?" he said. Alexa looked at him with a raised eyebrow before shaking her head.

"James, I can't conduct an assassination with a hangover," Alexa said with a laugh.

"You won't be inebriated for the assassination. It's not until seven tomorrow," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Besides, I find it always eases the tension I feel before a kill."

Alexa glanced at him for a moment, weighing in the pros and cons, before taking the beer in his outstretched hand. She took a gulp and motioned for him to sit with her. James sat with her on the bed and she tilted her head up to look at him.

"Can I ask you something?" she said.

"Go ahead," James shrugged.

"You've got Eve, don't you?" Alexa said, fiddling with the edge of the bottle.

"Of course I do," he said matter-of-factly.

"Then I'm sure she worries about you when you go out to save the world. But when you leave for a mission, do you ever..." Alexa said, her voice trailing off.

"Ever what...?"

"Do you worry too, over the possibility that you might not come back to see Eve or anyone else you love ever again?" Alexa said, looking up at him with curious eyes. James blinked for a moment, after realizing that he had never really given much thought to this question before shaking his head.

"Death may be an occupational hazard, but that doesn't mean that I don't think about it. Avoiding it is, after all, what has enabled me to survive for so long. Believe me, the last thing I want to happen is to have Eve wailing over my mangled corpse in some bloody morgue," James grumbled. He glanced at her for a bit, upon realizing that this was the primary concern that plagued her mind and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"The only advice I can give you about that is to not worry about it. You'll make it out of here alive. He would kill me otherwise," James muttered, taking a gulp of the beer.

"He?" she echoed blankly, looking puzzled.

"Q. Before you left, he made me swear to ensure your safe return," James said.

"I must have missed that, then. But then again, it doesn't surprise me that he made you swear to my safety. God knows he worries far too much about me than what's recommended," Alexa shrugged.

"Eve's like that too. Before I leave for a mission, she's always bugging me to be careful," James said, his eyes softening at the thought of his significant other. "Then again, she also tells me not to shag anyone unless I have to."

Alexa let out a laugh before took another sip of her beer. "Do you always mix business with pleasure, James?" she asked.

"Most of the time, yes. Business has become my pleasure, as I've found that the two go hand in hand," he shrugged. Alexa nodded slowly, feeling a certain happy buzz in her brain as she chatted and drank with James. It was rather nice, actually, and she found that she enjoyed her time with him. After finishing two beers with him, she looked up at him with a question alight in her eyes.

"James, did you actually need something?" Alexa asked.

"Not particularly." he replied, setting his beer on the nightstand.

"But why are you doing this, then?" she said, tilting her head.

"Doing what?" James said, looking confused.

"I don't know, having a drink with me," she said with a shrug. Her eyes sharpened when a thought suddenly occurred to her and she looked sternly at James.

"If you're trying to get me completely wasted, just remember that I am Q's girlfriend and his alone," she said firmly.

"Don't be ridiculous. Even I have boundaries," James scoffed. "You're far too young for a man like me."

"Besides, I wouldn't want to break up your relationship. Q's hardly ever had a girlfriend and I wouldn't want to ruin it for him," he continued, with a roll of his eyes. "Honestly, it's about time he found someone of his own."

"That's good to hear. But that doesn't exactly explain why we're drinking together," Alexa pointed out.

"Well, I'm drinking with you because I know what it's like to hold the barrel of a gun to a man's forehead. It's not an easy thing, especially with tension added to the mixture. I'm just making sure you're relaxed so you won't die tomorrow," James scoffed.

"How considerate of you," Alexa laughed, setting the empty bottle on her table.

"It's the least I can do, since I am your friend and the man responsible for your safe return," James said. He stood up and glanced at the clock, before heading towards the door with his beer in one hand.

"I think I'll be heading off to bed now. Goodnight," James said, waving at her affirmatively.

"Goodnight. Thank you for being with me," Alexa said, giving him a smile. He grinned in response and went out the door. Alexa watched him leave and tossed the bottle in the bin before taking a seat on her bed. She picked up her phone and put in the various passwords before dialing Q's number. Alexa waited for a few moments before the dial tone ended and Q picked up.

 _"_ Hello?" he said.

"Hi, Q," Alexa said, feeling a smile creep onto her face at the sound of her boyfriend's voice. The deep timbre of his voice made her feel less alone in the room and sparked a bit of joy in her system.

"Good to hear that you're alive. You could've texted me back," he grumbled.

"Sorry. I haven't done any fighting yet, so I figured it was okay," Alexa said as she curled up under the bedcovers.

"I miss you already, you know? We've only been apart for about fourteen hours but it's different without you," she complained.

"The feeling is mutual. Work was considerably dull without you. We did make a new weapon, though. Anything good on your end?" he said. She chuckled and ran a hand through her hair.

"That's sweet. Unfortunately, things aren't any better over here. The majority of the day was just mission preparations," she said. "It's not too bad here right now, but I don't know if it'll be like that after tomorrow."

"Relax. I'm sure you'll be fine," he said reassuringly. There was a slight pause before he came back on the line. "Think you'll be home by Sunday?"

"Even better. If everything goes well, you'll get me back by Saturday," Alexa said, fiddling with the edge of her bedsheets.

"As long as I get you back alive and intact, I'm fine with that," he said. She chuckled softly and a suddenly thought occurred to her, causing her to blink in surprise.

"Oh, James told me about the thing, by the way," Alexa said.

"What thing?" Q asked.

"You made him promise to bring me back in one piece," she said, sounding amused. "Sweet of you, really."

"Would you rather be brought back as a corpse in a coffin?" Q said dryly.

"Nope," Alexa said with a laugh.

"Exactly," he said. "But you should be careful nonetheless, since Bond has a tendency to break everything I entrust him with."

"I'll be careful, Q," she said with a playful roll of her eyes. "God, you're like my mum."

"Except not dead," Q said absentmindedly. Alexa's eyes widened in slight shock but remembered that she was, after all, talking to Q. He did have his moments where the filter which existed to remove socially unacceptable words did not seem to exist. Being socially inept at times was a rather Holmesian quality that she had noted in all of his brothers and figured it was alright for him to have his moments.

"Oh, wait. God, that wasn't a socially appropriate thing to say. I'm sorry, Alexa," he said hastily, realizing his mistake.

"It's fine, Q. I do keep in mind that you can be socially inept at times, and that was just one of them," Alexa chuckled. "You are a Holmes, after all."

"At least I'm not as bad as Mycroft and Sherlock," Q muttered.

"Thank god for that. Still, I may have to make you pay for that comment later," she said, with a hint of playfulness in her voice.

"And how do you plan on accomplishing that?" he replied, sounding amused.

"I'll come up with something devious, of course," Alexa said smartly.

"Is that a promise?" Q chuckled.

"Of course," she said.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't mind seeing what you'll come up with. I might even enjoy it," he said. She could almost picture him smirking and let out a light laugh.

"You know, I believe this is what people call flirting, Q," Alexa pointed out.

"I prefer the term banter," Q said. "It's a bit sexier than mere flirtation."

"Point taken," Alexa said as she lay on her back and stared at the ceiling. "But I have to say, you're pretty damn good at it."

"Good banter can only be achieved when conducted with another person of equal intelligence and wit," Q pointed out.

"Right," Alexa said, not realizing the full weight of his words. The meaning occurred to her a second later and she propped herself up on one elbow and held the phone to her ear.

"Hang on, did you just compliment me?" she said, unable to keep the smile out of her voice.

"I was wondering if you noticed," he said. "I'm glad you did."

"You sneaky little bugger," Alexa said with a laugh.

"Sorry. I couldn't help it," Q chuckled. She heard a rustling on the other end and Q came back on the line. "So, how are things with Bond?"

"Okay, actually. We had to check in this morning and apparently, we share the same last name on our passports. Did you do that on purpose, by the way?" Alexa said.

"No, I just nabbed the passports from the records department upstairs," he said. "What happened?"

"The receptionist thought we were married. It was terribly awkward," she said with a sigh.

"I would imagine that it was. Anything else of interest occur?" Q said.

"Not much, actually. We just had a drink together a little while ago, before heading off to bed," Alexa said. She turned over slightly and propped her chin against her palm. "How about you?"

"I had dinner a little while ago, but I'm afraid that's all," Q replied.

"And did you actually have real food for dinner, love?" she said with mock-sternness in her voice.

"Of course," he replied instantaneously, sounding miffed.

"Q, Earl Grey for dinner doesn't count as real food. As your girlfriend, I advise you to eat something wholesome," Alexa chided gently. There was a pause and he let out a sigh.

"Even when you're almost 1,500 miles away, I still can't fool you. How did you know that?" he said.

"In the month we've been living together, I've noticed that you tend to consume more Earl Grey whenever I'm not home for dinner or when I cook," she said dryly. "That in itself leads me to believe three things: one, that I cook like shit, two, that you tend to eat less when someone else isn't watching, and three, that you drink a little more Earl Grey than usual at that time as a source of food."

"I disagree. I think your cooking skills are...passable," Q said, attempting to at least be polite.

"It's okay, Q. You don't have to sugarcoat it. I have the cooking skills of a five year old and that's a fact that I've come to accept," Alexa said.

"Well, I guess they could use a bit of work," Q muttered. Alexa heard the distinct clattering of a plate in the background and waited for him to speak. "Alright, I'll take your advice. I'll make food, I guess."

"Good. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, for once," Alexa said with a sigh.

"I find your concern for me rather endearing."

"Well, of course I would be concerned. You're as skinny as a stick. God knows you need more nutrition," she said, with a roll of her eyes.

"Alright, I see your point. But it shouldn't be just me that you should be fretting over. Be careful," he said sternly.

"I will, Q. I'll do my best to come back to you alive and intact, love," Alexa said with a smile.

"Is that a promise?"

"I swear I'll be careful, Q. And remember, I don't make promises I can't keep," she said reassuringly.

"Good. I'll see you on Saturday, then?" Q said.

"If I finish early, then yes," Alexa said.

"I'll have something to look forward to on Saturday, then," he replied. Alexa heard nothing from him for a moment, leading her to assume that he had hung up. She rolled to her side to put her phone on the table but heard him speak again.

"Alexa?" he said.

"Hmm? What is it?" she said.

"Good luck tomorrow. I'll be waiting for you," Q replied.

"Thank you, Q," she chuckled. "That makes me feel a lot better."

"Oh, and I...love you," Q said softly. She could not fight the soft smile that spread across her features but it was soon replaced by a troubled frown. Her doubts began to surface once again, like an old and familiar demon. Although she did not want to bring it up, the words could not help but come out of her mouth.

"Do you really?" she blurted out.

"Alexa, we've been together for almost a month now. Do you really still think this is a joke?" he said, bristling as if she had deeply offended him. "I mean, why would I not?"

"I've come to Kiev with the intention of killing a woman, Q. That's probably not the only one I'll have to take down and I'll have more blood on my hands. What is there left to love from someone like me?" she said, feeling a sudden pang of uncertainty and guilt. He was silent for what felt like an eternity and she could feel the anxiety mounting against her. Before she could say anything, she heard a deep sigh from the phone.

"You know, normal people respond with a simple I love you," Q muttered.

"I kill people, Q. I don't exactly belong in the normal end of the spectrum," she said dryly.

"I'm aware of that, along with all of the circumstances that shaped you," Q said softly.

"You know I'm not entirely used to putting emotion into words but I can tell you that even though it's true that you kill people, that doesn't change the fact that you're my Alexa and you're just doing what is required of you. I love you because you have all of these delightful qualities that I rarely encounter and I couldn't even dream of losing you. So if there's anything you should be doubting tomorrow, it'd better not be this," he continued.

Alexa, knowing it was true that Q was a man of little emotional words, felt stunned by his spiel and fell silent. Her fears had quickly been dispelled by the man she knew and loved and she felt much better, upon realizing that he was genuine in his love for her.

"You're right. There's no reason for me to doubt you in the first place and I'm sorry about that," Alexa chuckled, letting out a tired little laugh. "You must think I'm being silly, with all of these ridiculous fears."

"Anxiety before a big event is common in most, Alexa. It's normal," Q said.

"Although I will admit that the idea of me not loving you was a bit silly. You should know that I'm always going to love you, Alexa. I'll be with you through thick and thin, no matter what," he continued, his voice barely audible. "Don't forget that, alright?"

"I wouldn't even dream of forgetting that," Alexa said with a small chuckle. "That's much too important to forget."

"Exactly," Q replied. Alexa turned onto her back and stared up at the darkened ceiling above her.

"You'd better be heading off to bed. You have a big day ahead tomorrow," he said.

"Goodnight, then. I'll see you soon," she said gently.

"Goodnight, Alexa. Have a good day tomorrow," Q replied. Alexa could only smile slightly at his words before another important thought occurred to her.

"Oh, and Q?" Alexa said.

"What?"

"Thank you. You're the best guy a girl could have and I'm lucky to have you," Alexa said with a smile.

"Of course you are," he said. "I'll see you soon."

Alexa rolled her eyes good-naturedly and finally said goodbye. She placed her phone on her table and rolled over onto her side to stared at the moon outside. Alexa sat there in silence before finally dozing off, dreaming of what was in store for her tomorrow.

* * *

_**(December 5, 2013- 6:42 PM)** _

Alexa stared quietly at her reflection in the mirror, attempting to collect her thoughts before the mission officially began. She let out a sigh and smoothed back her hair with a nervous hand, her grey eyes filled with doubt. Alexa did her best to shake off her doubts and distracted herself by putting on her makeup.

She took the pill and spread on the cream before applying her killer lipstick. Alexa slipped the undershirt Q had made her over her head and got into her clothes, which was a black dress that went down to her knees. She pulled the lace sleeves past her elbows before inspecting herself on the mirror one last time.

"It's no different from a regular mission," Alexa reassured herself. Nevertheless, the thought did cross her mind that regular missions still made her nervous and it failed to help her cause. Alexa let out a deep sigh before slipping a communicator inside her left ear and putting the gun in the holster attached to her thigh. She put her lipstick in her pocket and headed out the door.

Alexa stepped into the living room and saw James, who was standing in front of the table at the foyer. He was inspecting his appearance carefully and Alexa approached him with a distinct smirk on her face.

"I'd say you're about as vain as I am, given the way you're inspecting your appearance," she chided gently as she slipped on her heels.

"Ah, there you are. Took you long enough," James said as he adjusted his cuff links. "Ready to go?"

"I suppose so," Alexa said. He nodded and led her out to the car in silence, knowing that she would be less than willing to talk to him now. James saw a contemplative look in her gaze and decided not to bother her, unless necessary.

They drove down the darkened streets of the city for several minutes before James turned into a dim alleyway. He parked the car before they headed off towards the surrounding wall of Kozlov's house. Alexa checked her watch and waited for their opening to arrive. James went ahead to check the state of the guards and gave her a thumbs up, meaning that it was all clear.

She slipped off her heels and hoisted herself onto the closed lid of the dumpster. Alexa and James crept into the compound while the guards changed position, landing quietly onto the grass below them. She input the door code that Q had given to her earlier that day before slipping inside.

The hallway they entered in was empty, with the sounds of the busy kitchen coming from behind a closed door. Alexa put on her shoes and looked around before glancing back at James. "Go through the front and look for Katja. I'll be circulating the room while you do so," she said.

"Alright," he said as he headed off. Alexa crept through the hallway and took note of the fire alarm lever on the wall near the kitchen entrance. She straightened the creases in her dress before entering the ballroom area.

The party, surprisingly, was well attended. It was hardly a small affair, as the room was decorated head to toe with a red and gold theme. She stood near the sweeping red curtains, eyeing the partygoers and the sign that said,  _"Happy Birthday, Fyodor!"_  Alexa took a glass of champagne from a passing server and began to circulate, keeping an eye out for James or Katja. She did not, however, notice the pair of blue eyes that watched her keenly as she drifted around the ballroom.

Those eyes belonged to none other than Katja Morozova herself, who had not fully intended to seek out Alexa selectively. She had been looking for Kozlov, in all actuality, but Alexa's familiar face was one that she could not ignore. Katja knew immediately what her intentions could possibly be and her eyes wandered around the room, searching for Kozlov.

She found him seated at a table, chatting with a young man in a dapper black suit. Katja pulled him away suddenly and they stood in the shadow of a column, to hide from Alexa. "Fyodor, she's here," Katja hissed.

"She?" he questioned, looking puzzled.

"That girl in black is here to kill me. I know that for a fact," she said, with evident urgency in her voice. Kozlov looked startled and continued to watch Alexa.

"Are you sure?" he said, looking bewildered.

"I don't miss a face, Kozlov. That's her," Katja said, sounding strained. "We have to do something."

The man was silent for several moments before he let out a sigh. "Don't worry about her for now. I'll see what I can do," he said. Kozlov went away, hobbling slightly on his silver cane, and headed towards his security guards. He put in a quick word or two about Alexa and told them to keep an eye on her. Katja, on the other hand, watched Alexa carefully before heading back onto the floor, in the hopes that she could remain hidden from her in the crowds.

Alexa strode through the ballroom, watching every face that passed by and took a sip of her champagne. It was undoubtedly more than a little frustrating, searching for Katja in a large crowd, but she did her best to remain calm. "Got anything?" she said.

"I don't see her yet," James said, his voice scorning from the tinny speakers in her communicator. Alexa didn't reply and circled around the room in search of her target. She watched each partygoer like a hawk, before finally spotting Katja in the midst of a small group of men.

"James, I see her. She's in the centre of the ballroom, just across from the bar area," Alexa said.

"Get ready near the fire alarm, then. I'll be off," he said. She caught his eye from across the ballroom floor and nodded, making swift steps towards the back exit of the ballroom. James, on the other hand, had grabbed another drink and was mingling with Katja herself. The guards, unbeknownst to her, had been watching her carefully and noted her nod at James. One of them approached Kozlov and tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Sir, the woman has left the main ballroom. She nodded at that man over there with Katja, which could mean that they're working together," he said, pointing out James.

"Capture the girl and bring her to the basement. Keep an eye on the man and capture him when the time comes," Kozlov said. The guard nodded and relayed the instructions to his comrades, who went to search for Alexa.

Alexa had been creeping silently through the halls, heading towards the fire alarm. She found the red lever on the wall and pressed her hand against her ear. "James, I'm at the alarm. Get ready," she said. James did not reply and as she opened the glass cover to pull the lever, she felt a pair of hands clamp over her mouth. Alexa let out a muffled scream and tried to fight back with hand to hand combat. She knew that using a gun would attract too much attention and tried to slip out of her assailant's grasp. Alexa felt a second pair of hands pin her arms back before a swift jab to the neck caused her world to fade into nothing but darkness.

* * *

James continued to waltz with Katja, wondering what the hell Alexa was doing and why there was a hold up. He glanced around the room for any signs of his partner, before quickly excusing himself to the bar area under the guise of bringing Katja another glass of champagne.

"Alexa, what's going on?" he hissed. There was no reply on the other end and he waited for a moment before repeating himself.

"Alexa, what happened? Answer me," James said. Nothing but silence came through the speakers and he felt fear seize him. He had lost partners before, but this was different, since Q specifically entrusted him with looking out for her.

"Bloody hell," he muttered to himself. James set down the champagne on the counter and turned to go find Alexa when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He glanced at his reflection of the glass cabinet in front of him and noted that it was a guard. James swore inwardly and turned around, lifting up his forearm to block a jab that was aimed at his neck. The other men barked an order at the man who tried to knock him out and cleared a way for Kozlov and Katja.

"And you're sure it's him?" Katja said, raising an eyebrow. Kozlov nodded and his lips curved into a cruel smirk.

"My men have caught your partner, Mr...?" he said.

"Reid. John Reid," James said, lying through his teeth. Kozlov could only grin and him and he pressed his cane against James' chest.

"You have two options, Mr. Reid. Either come quietly or we kill both your partner and you. Take your pick," he hissed. James kept his composure and nodded slowly, putting his hands behind his back.

"And where is she?" he said.

"That's for us to know," Kozlov said. James nodded once more and weighed in each scenario, figuring what would be best to get Alexa back. He let out a sigh and held out his hands, upon realizing that the one way that he could get Alexa back while completing the mission was to come willingly.

Kozlov grinned at him and barked an order to his guards. They led James down a darkened corridor, with Kozlov and Katja in tow, before advancing to the basement. James took in his surroundings as he was led downstairs, looking for every possible way to escape. He found Alexa at the centre of the room, tied to a chair with her hair covering her face. She looked up to reveal her bloodstained face. A cut ran from her cheek to the side of her face and was causing blood to trickle down her face. Her eyes widened in horror upon seeing James in front of her and she glared at Kozlov and Katja.

"Hello, dear. Long time no see," Katja said, approaching her with a wicked grin on her face. Alexa looked around for any sort of way to escape, but made no effort to move. Not yet, at least. She knew she had to endure the pain they would put her through, in order to get the information she needed. This was what she needed all these years, and she would be damned if she let this chance pass by unnoticed. Alexa straightened up and gave Katja a tight smile.

"Hello, Katja. Let's have a little heart to heart, shall we?"

* * *

 


	28. Chapter 27

_This is how heavy a secret can become. It can make blood flow easier than ink._

_**-Patrick Rothfuss** _

* * *

_"Hello, Katja. Let's have a little heart to heart, shall we?"_

Alexa stared at Katja calmly, as if she was anything but afraid of the woman standing before her. Katja, who looked taken aback by her serenity, strode up to Alexa with a sneer on her lips.

"Of course you would. You've got a lot of bones to pick with me, don't you?" Katja said.

"That's putting it lightly," Alexa muttered. She watched Katja as she circled around the room, grabbing a knife off the table and spinning it around her fingers.

"It seems you brought along a friend with you," she said, motioning to James.

"That's right, but I'd rather that you let him go. Your fight is with me, not him," she said, her voice dangerously controlled. She gave James a look that more or less told him not to intervene and he stood silently, ready to spring into action at any given moment.

"I'm afraid that's not possible, Alexa. He works with you, so therefore he gets some of the blame as well," Katja said, grinning wickedly at her. She strode past the men and made her way towards Alexa.

"You've been a wicked girl indeed, Alexa," she said. "You've got a lot of blood on your hands, and for what?"

Alexa was silent for a moment and Katja slapped her across the face, the sound echoing through the concrete walls. "Answer me," she hissed, placing the knife against Alexa's neck. "Why are you doing this?

"To stop people like you from exploiting children who could be useful to you," Alexa said, glaring at her.

"There has to be more to it than that," she said, returning Alexa's forceful stare. This can't just be a simple kamikaze run for justice. You have to have some bigger reason to be going against a force of our caliber."

"You've got the files on me. Figure it out," Alexa said with a roll of her eyes. Katja studied her momentarily before glancing back to James. James looked back at her with a raised brow but remained silent, knowing that this was Alexa's fight, not his. Katja's eyes lit up as she looked at him and a smirk spread across her face.

"Ah, I remember. You've got friends now," she said. "You've become involved, and we're both aware of the dangers of becoming involved."

"Things like this happen because of it," Alexa said, sounding almost bored with her. Katja nodded and folded her arms across her chest.

"The lives of other people are at risk because of you," she said. "Especially his."

"His?" Alexa echoed blankly.

"Him," she said, pointing at James. "You also have that other boy you seem to be so fond of. He's the lesser one of the famed Holmes boys, I believe."

"He isn't the lesser one of the Holmes brothers. He's just as talented as each of them," Alexa said, her tone as cold as ice.

"You must love him that much then, if you're willing to defend him even when you're bloodied and bruised," Katja sneered. "You see, this is why we never taught love to the prospective Chetiri agents. It forces you to do things you would never do to chase a foolish and volatile fantasy. Only fools fall in love, and you seem to be one of them."

"I'd rather die a lovesick fool than die a heartless robot like they raised us to be," Alexa said firmly. Katja stared at her in surprise and let out a laugh.

"How endearing. You really have gone soft. Maybe I'll send someone after him next," Katja said thoughtfully. "Or I could always send him this."

"This?" Alexa said, feeling fear creep into her system. Katja pulled out a necklace and unclasped it, revealing a silver jump drive.

"Do you know what this is, Alexa?" she said slowly, as if she were talking to a small child.

"It's obviously a jump drive, but what's on it?" Alexa said.

"It has every single alias you've ever assumed, with every crime you've committed tied to those identities. We have all your sins and secrets on record and we can imprison you for every crime you've ever committed. Better yet, we could have you arrested, shamed, and executed," Katja said. "Isn't it a lovely plan, my dear?"

Alexa could only stare at her in horror and she could feel her calm and collected façade crumbling away. She had no idea that they had a drive on her and racked her brain for something to say. Katja met her terrified look with a wicked smirk and leaned down to her height.

"Nothing to say?" she whispered.

"I-I...when did you make that-" Alexa stuttered.

"Don't stutter, Alexa. It's not very ladylike," she said mockingly. "We've kept this drive ever since you came into the facility and we maintained it until your supposed death in Minsk."

Alexa was silent and she would not meet Katja's eyes. James watched her from across the room, waiting for a cue of some sort to spring into action, but she gave him none. Instead, her shoulders seemed to drop and she looked crestfallen, as if they had found her single Achilles heel. They had usable leverage against her and it, quite frankly, terrified her. The Agency had something against her, like she had with them. To make matters worse, the numbers and the odds were stacked against her. It was a grim outlook and all she could do was look up, with a bloodstained cheek and weary eyes.

"You're bluffing," Alexa said.

"We'll publicly release five identities as each week passes, complete with each crime you've committed. We've released five of them already," Katja said smugly, as she showed Alexa the screen of her phone, which had a video from YouTube. Alexa stared at a screen in horror that showed identities that she could remember all too well, despite her efforts to repress them. Scenes of her past flashed before her eyes, starting with a hospital bombing in Sydney, and continued with a shooting in Sarajevo, the assassination of a Portuguese official, the bombing of a Chinese school, before finally ending with a shootout in Buenos Aires. The video ended and she could not hide the fear that she felt, knowing that this was entirely real.

"And with that, I think it's safe to presume that we aren't joking. The worst is yet to come and with each passing week, we'll come closer to revealing where you are," Katja said smugly. She fell silent and looked up at Katja again, with stifled rage festering beneath her glassy grey eyes.

"Give that to me," Alexa said. "Please."

"At what cost? Exactly how far are you willing to go to keep this secret?" Katja said.

"Name your price," Alexa said softly.

"We want all of the files you stole on Operation Chetiri," she hissed. "And in turn, we want your life as well. You're a pest in these dealings of ours and we want you gone."

"My life? The files?" Alexa echoed blankly.

"That's right. If you don't comply, we'll send the information to every known diplomat around the globe (along with your little boyfriend) and you can pay up for your sins at their hands," Katja sneered. "You know, maybe we could send the information to him first, see what he thinks. Maybe we could kill him after-"

"No," she said sharply, with a hostile look in her eyes. "Leave him alone. None of this was his fault."

"Ah, but you've brought this upon him. You see, I'm sure he knows enough about you already. In that sense, he knows far more than he should and that makes him dangerous. He could be a voice of dissent against us and that could cause problems," Katja said.

"So tell me, what are you willing to do to get this information? Are you willing to die to stay in his good graces?" she said.

"I'll do anything," Alexa said.

"Define 'anything'," Katja said. She paused for a moment and glanced at James with a steely gaze. He looked back at her and figured that this was the signal to get ready. Alexa's eyes drifted back to Katja and without a moment's hesitation, sprung to life.

She delivered a swift kick to Katja's abdomen, causing her to fall to the ground. The sound of her head hitting the floor was audible, but Alexa was still unsure if she was completely unconscious. She decided to take the risk and diverted her attention away from Katja to her other opponents. The guards shouted orders across the room and James quickly disarmed both Kozlov and the other two men guarding him with a series of blows from his foot and the palm of his hand. He rushed towards Alexa, who had spun around to counteract the guards running to her and watched as she knocked a man backwards, which crushed the wooden chair she sat on. James helped untie her and she stood up, grabbing the gun that sat at her thigh.

They stood back to back and began to fire around the room, nailing down each guard that fired back at them. Alexa felt dull thuds against her undershirt as they shot at her, but no harm reached her. James and Alexa then separated and rushed around the room, using an efficient duck and cover tactic. The sounds of enemy gunshots echoed through the walls and one by one, they watched the guards fall. As she was shooting, Alexa noticed Katja stirring and propping herself up onto her left elbow. She fired a shot at a guard from across the room and went to Katja, with her gun pointed at her head. James followed her and glanced around the room warily, as if there was someone else lurking in the shadows that would shoot at them again.

Alexa marched up to Katja, who was now on her knees. She held her hands over her head to show that she was surrendering, considering that her only form of protection (in this case, Kozlov and his men) were dead. The tables had turned in a matter of minutes and she knew that she could not be able to win against Alexa here.

"Tell me what else they're planning," Alexa hissed.

"I-I...it's just the drive, Alexa. What else is the-" she sputtered.

"Tell me!" Alexa shouted, shoving the gun against her head.

"We wanted the Operation Chetiri files in exchange for your files. If you didn't comply, we would send the drive to different diplomats around Europe and to your boyfriend and let them have their way with you," Katja said. "That's all of it, I swear."

"There has to be more. You want full vengeance for my interference in your affairs, correct?" she said, her voice hard and her eyes glinting like steel.

"Precisely," Katja muttered. "Your interference is a problem that none of us are willing to pardon."

"Then I'm assuming you would stop at nothing to destroy me, both physically and emotionally," Alexa said. "You wouldn't even hesitate to kill my friends, would you?"

"That was another facet to the plan that we had to implement," she replied.

"Is that all that you're willing to tell us, Katja?" James said, feeling both intrigued and worried by what he was hearing. The Alexa he knew that was a rather pleasant soul would never shout and now, he saw a completely different side to her. She was dealing with a force bigger than her and it was interesting to see her handle the situation. On the other hand, however, this Agency that she was dealing with wanted nothing more than to see her fully shamed before an execution, at the expense of other people. This was a fact that particularly bothered James and he made a mental note to tell M that this was a lot bigger than Alexa alone.

"What else is there left to tell you?" she said. There was something in their gazes that told her she was close to death, a fact that she could not believe she was facing now.

"Give the drive to me," Alexa commanded, holding out her hand.

"What if I don't?" she challenged.

"The consequences are the same either way," Alexa deadpanned. Katja stared at her with as much defiance as she could muster, but her hands were tied. She was a scientist at heart, not a martial artist. Katja could not fight back, as she had relied on the protection of others to guard her life. She crumpled to her knees and clutched the drive tightly around her hands, staring back up at Alexa with hot and bitter tears in her eyes.

"Death is inevitable so take it, then, as soon as you kill me. Pry it off my cold, dead hands like the monster you are," she hissed. "After that, crawl back home to your lover and pretend you're nothing but an innocent angel when you're everything but. But just remember this- once he reads those files, you can be sure that he won't love you anymore, much less think of looking at you-"

Alexa, who obviously seemed affected by her spiel, could not do anything else but stare at Katja as she spoke. The weight of her words sunk in quickly and Alexa felt anger brewing inside her. She shot Katja without another word and watched as she fell to the ground.

"Bitch," Alexa muttered. She lowered the gun to her side and looked around the room at the bodies that lay around them. They were all dead and she knew that there was nothing left for them here.

"We need to go," she said.

"Astute observation, Alexa. Take the front, I'll cover the rear," he said, pulling out his Walther. She nodded and they proceeded upstairs, before standing next to the door. Alexa could hear rapid speech coming from outside and flung the door open, quickly shooting at the man that stood before her. The young guard's face contorted into one of shock as the bullet entered his skull and he fell to the ground, his phone falling carelessly to the floor.

The pair sidestepped him and they advanced down the corridor silently, listening for any sounds of movement. They could hear shouting from the front hall and stood in a darkened passageway, devising a plan. "How do you plan on getting out of this situation, Alexa?" James said.

"I don't know! I'm still thinking about it," she muttered, reloading her gun. "Do you have any ideas?"

"Several, actually. But them again, this is your mission. Devise your own plan to get us out," he replied casually.

"But James, you can't do-"

"Alexa, I am technically your mentor, so this is perfectly legitimate behaviour. Consider it a test, if you like," he said, shooting her a smirk. She rolled her eyes and put her gun in her pocket, waiting to hear any more movement. They advanced through the hallway and proceeded into the first corridor, near to where they entered. Alexa could hear the sounds of the party that was still occurring from behind the large oak doors and a pair of footsteps ahead of them. She quickly crumpled against James and he caught her quickly, unsure of what to expect.

"Quick, pretend I'm drunk. Get close to him," she muttered. They continued up to the hall and were met by a guard in a green uniform, who emerged from the room to the left. James gave him a quick once over and after gauging whether he was dangerous or not, tried to look as embarrassed as he could.

"Where are both of you headed?" he barked, looking sternly at them.

"I was just looking for the bathroom for my friend here," James said, looking apologetic.

"Shh, James! I don't need your help," Alexa slurred, letting out a loud laugh. She looked up at the guard and gave him a sly grin.

"Who's he? Whoever you are, you've got a pretty shitty looking shirt, sir," she said, mock saluting him. The guard glared at her because of her insult and she let out a series of giggles.

"I'm so sorry about this. She's a terrible drunk," he said, walking closer to the man. "Could you just tell us where the bathroom is-"

Without warning, the walkie-talkie on the man's belt began emitting loud noises, which sounded like fuzzy words. "Petya, keep an eye out for a James Reid and Alexandra. Over," it said. The man's eyes narrowed, upon remembering that James was his name and he glared at them both.

"I need both of you to come with me," he said, grabbing Alexa roughly by the wrist. He had pulled her with considerable force, which caused the gun to fall out of her pocket and skid across the floor. She realized that she still had one weapon left and planted a kiss on the man's cheek, leaving a blood red lip mark.

He stood there, staring at Alexa in confusion, when he felt a burning sensation on his skin where she had kissed him. It grew hotter and hotter as the seconds ticked by and his body felt as if it was swelling up. Alexa clamped a hand over his mouth as he let out a cry of pain, with his heart beating quicker and quicker. It felt as if his heart was being electrocuted and exploding into bits. While Alexa was handling him, James decided to make his own contribution and headed to the wall, where he unclasped the two straps on his watch. He twisted the dial three times and stuck it to the wall, where it was set to detonate in three minutes. It would give them enough time to get out, without leaving evidence behind. He looked back at Alexa and saw that the man had gone into cardiac arrest and was lying on the ground. James stood up and grabbed Alexa's gun, holding it in front of her.

"I believe this is yours," he said.

"Thank you," she said, plucking the gun from his fingers.

"Not a problem. Did Q really make you killer lipstick?" he said as he reloaded his own gun.

"Yep. With that in mind, he's possessive in his own, little way," Alexa said with a smile. Her smile soon faded when she heard shouts coming from the other hallway and she swore loudly. James looked around and let out a sigh, upon realizing that they would have more to deal with.

"Alexa, I've set a bomb to blow the place up. We have three minutes," he said, cocking his gun.

"What about the innocents?" she said, waiting for their newest enemies.

Other guards came streaming in and loud shouts rang through the halls. Without a moment's hesitation, James pulled the trigger and fired four warning shots into the air before firing back at some of the guards to ensure that Alexa would not be killed by them.

"They'll come," he muttered as he continued to fire. As he had predicted, people began scrambling out of the ballroom in a panic and went through the first and only exit, which was through the front doors. They flooded out of the ballroom doors, making it harder for the guards to shoot at James and Alexa.

Alexa dodged the gunfire and fired a few more shots in retaliation, before James grabbed her by the hand. He pulled her into the crowd, pushing past people as they headed towards the front doors. Alexa and James had hidden amongst the crowd and as soon as they got outside, went towards the back. Alexa and James crept around in the shadows of the trees and looked for anyone that could hinder their escape. Naturally, the guards who had guarded the front portion of the complex had rushed in to see what the commotion was about and left only two guards standing at the back wall.

James motioned towards Alexa and she fired a shot at the guard on the other corner whilst he fired at the one next to them. The silenced thud of the gunshot could only be heard by them and James shoved the gun back in his pocket. He hoisted himself onto the tree and quickly helped Alexa up. She stumbled slightly, because of her shoes, but made it onto the tree branch with him. He leapt onto the edge of the wall and held out his hands so she could leap as well.

"Alexa, you need to hurry. That bomb will detonate any second now," he muttered.

"Shut up! I'm trying," she hissed as she tried to steady herself. She clung onto the tree trunk before finally leaping at the wall blindly. Alexa reached in vain for the ledge but missed it barely, with the side of her body hitting the side of the wall. The only thing that saved her from a fairly tall drop was James' hands, which caught her wrists before she went down. He let out a grunt of pain but pulled her up and over.

"Thank you," she said, sounding relieved.

"Thank me later. We need to leave," he muttered before landing with a dull thud onto the dumpster lid below them. She slipped off her shoes and followed suit, running towards the car with him. They got in and he jabbed his finger at the ignition button, before pulling into the street behind them. As he pulled away, she heard a loud boom and stared at the large orange and black plumes of fire and smoke in front of them. James ignored the explosion and continued to drive down the street before turning to face her.

"Alexa, you do realize that if I hadn't caught you then, you wouldn't have had enough time to climb and jump again, right?" he said. She blinked in surprise and a startled look flashed in her eyes.

"Now that you mention it, no, I didn't realize that," she said.

"Well, you should have," he grumbled. "Look, as your mentor, that's all I have to critique you on in this mission. Be bloody careful."

"I should be. Thank you, James," Alexa sighed, knowing the consequences if he hadn't caught her.

"It's fine. I did promise Q to bring you back alive, after all," he said as he drove down the darkened streets of Kiev. Alexa nodded and wiped off the excess blood on her cheek from the guards' incision. They soon came to a stop near the intersection and James glanced at her again.

"So, we've killed Katja and we have her drive. However, I'm assuming that's a proxy," he said.

"That's right. It would be much too easy if she carried it around carelessly like that," Alexa said, touching the cold metal around her neck.

"We need to tell M about the drive, then. They can't go on like this with access to information of that level. If they have that drive, they can contact anyone that despises you and have you killed in a matter of days," James said, his knuckles tightening around the steering wheel. Seeing him looking so serious about a matter like this made her nervous and she fidgeted in her seat.

"In that case, we need to fly out tonight. We can't stay here," Alexa said, looking worried.

"Exactly. You go pack everything. I'll notify M," he said as they pulled up in the parking lot of the hotel. They got out of the car and headed upstairs, before heading into the room.

Alexa began grabbing whatever she could and separated them into two separate piles. She put all of James' papers into his briefcase and tossed his clothes into his suitcase. Alexa heard him talking in a low voice in the living room and she quickly threw her clothes in the bag. Alexa put on her tan coat and checked her watch before heading outside with their things. She saw James talking on the phone and set her bag on the couch. He turned to look at her and turned away again to end his call.

"-e'll be on our way," James said. He hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket. James grabbed his suitcase and looked around once more. "Is that it?"

"That's all we have," Alexa said. He nodded in response and grabbed the keys off the table before heading downstairs. Alexa checked out of the hotel and handed the receptionist several bills of cash. She went back into the car with James and they drove to the airport, with the intention of leaving Ukraine as quickly as they had come. As the plane took off from the runway, Alexa stared out at the clouds above and sank into a familiar silence. James took a look at her and decided not to intervene with her contemplation, knowing that she was thinking about the drive and the Agency. This was her matter and he would leave her to devise her own plan of action.

She tried to form a coherent plan for the duration of the four hour plane ride, but her mind could not even begin to find a starting point. It was as if it had become a jumbled cacophony of different concerns that screamed out hellishly, causing nothing but more confusion. The acquisition of the drive was a vital factor in gaining the upper hand, and that much was clear. But where could they have even put it?

More importantly, did it even exist, or were the really just bluffing?

 _No,_  she thought to herself. There was no way they could be bluffing. She had seen the video with her own eyes and knew that this was really happening. Such a scenario was something she had never anticipated and it quite honestly terrified her.

The jarring impact of the plane suddenly pulled her out of her reverie and her eyes snapped open. She looked out the window and upon seeing the familiar lights of the Heathrow Airport, knew that she had come back home safely. James, who had seen her brief period of disorientation, poked her on the shoulder blade. "Alexa," he said.

"Huh?" she said, turning around to face him.

"Are you alright? You seemed a bit thrown off there," James remarked.

"I'm fine. I'm just...glad to be home, that's all," she said, giving him a weary little smile. He nodded in response and when they plane stopped, he helped her reach for her suitcase. Alexa grabbed her bags and followed James out of the plane and into the deserted airport. James and Alexa walked through the silent halls, their footsteps echoing off the walls. Once they arrived near the exit, James pulled his keys out of his pockets and glanced up at her.

"Are you sure you're alright? I could give you a ride home," he said.

"Oh, no. It's fine," Alexa said, waving her hands in front of her. "I'll just head home. I need some time to think about this anyway."

"Okay, if you say so. Go home and relax with Q. I'm sure you need it," James said, picking up his briefcase.

"I will. Thank you again, James," she said as she watched him walk away. He paused about mid-step and she watched as he turned to face here once more.

"Oh, and Alexa?" he said.

"What?"

"Good work out there. Just remember to be more careful," he said, flashing her a quick smile before turning away again.

"Thank you. See you soon," Alexa called, watching him go. She saw his figure fading in the distance and went off in her own direction, towards the restroom. There, she scrubbed off the last traces of the lipstick with a swab and put on strawberry lip balm before heading to the cabs out in the front.

Alexa took a cab and told the driver to go back to Q's house, which was now the place she called home. She fidgeted slightly in the back as jumbled thoughts raced through her brain and her mind drifted from topics concerning the Agency, the drive, to if Q had even eaten anything today. The cab soon stopped on the curb down the street from Q's house and she hopped out after paying the cabbie.

Alexa strode down the street and crept quietly up the stairs. She opened the first door with her key and stood in the foyer, taking her coat off. Alexa pressed the small button on the side of the door repeatedly. She was fully aware that Q was probably upstairs by now (albeit, not asleep) but she had to ring the bell because she had misplaced her other key, which she needed to open that door. Alexa finally stopped when she heard the buzz from the intercom above the button come on and Q's voice came from the speaker.

"Who the hell is this? It's midnight," he said, sounding annoyed.

"You're still up. Shame on you, mister," Alexa said, with a hint of playfulness in her voice that had, if only for a moment, overshadowed her stress. She heard the feed cut off from the speaker and within seconds, the door flew open. Q stood before her, with a soft smile on his face.

"Welcome home, soldier," Q said. "You're back early."

She felt a flush of relief at the sight of Q because she knew that although strife remained outside, she could at least find solace in him. Alexa wanted nothing more than to kiss the man standing in front of her, in a sort of desperate way of easing the fear that still remained. She dropped her bag at the edge of the doorway and rushed up to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, taking in every taste she could get of him. Q made no attempt at protesting and returned her kiss with equal fervor, happy to have her back at home with him.

She entwined her fingers in his slightly damp hair and pressed her lips against him with a bit more roughness than usual. He tasted like Earl Grey and the sensations that both of them felt were nothing short of exquisite. Q always left her feeling breathless and somewhat lightheaded, to where she felt her fears disappearing, if only for a moment. After she pulled away, she hugged him tightly and quickly felt that sickening sensation of fear arising in her stomach.

"I believe the correct term is agent," she mumbled, her voice muffled as she pressed herself into him. She was attempting to sound light-hearted but her façade was failing miserably. Q could feel her shaking against him and knew that her true emotions were the exact opposite of her actions. He tried pulled her away from him, to see her face, but she did not look up.

"You're tense. What happened?" he said, looking startled. She let out a sigh and shook her head.

"I didn't think it could get any worse, but it did," Alexa muttered.

"How?" he said, lifting her chin up to meet his eyes. He brushed a hair away from her face and placed a thumb at the base of her jaw, looking concerned. She looked haggard and there was a fear in her eyes that he had seen only a few times, which was whenever the Agency threatened to kill him.

"They have the drive, Q," she said, her voice sounding strained.

"What drive?" Q asked.

"It's the jump drive that contains every alias I've ever assumed and every crime that I committed. I didn't even know such a thing existed and it worries me, because they have some form of leverage against me," Alexa said softly. His eyes widened slightly and he stared down at her in worry.

"If they find this drive, I'm assuming they'll release its contents to everyone, including the people that want to kill you. Is that correct?" Q asked.

"I'm afraid so. They've released five of them already, and plan to release more each week," she sighed. Alexa was silent for a moment and Q could do nothing but hold her there. This was another setback that served to exacerbate the situation and he hated seeing her so scared like this. She almost looked like a child again, and that gut-wrenching look of fear on her face never failed to instigate fear in him. Q decided to at least attempt to make her feel a bit better and smoothed her hair back, before lifting up the base of her chin.

"Tell me, Alexa. Exactly how many people want to kill you?" Q said, raising an eyebrow. A look of confusion spread across her features and she seemed stumped by the question. Alexa seemed to be counting mentally, before giving up and returning her gaze to him.

"I don't even know anymore. I lost count a long time ago, but I know it's still more than a hundred," Alexa said softly. He sighed and leaned in, placing his lips near her ear.

"You are a devious girl. Whatever are we going to do with you?" Q murmured. Alexa paused for a moment, taken aback by his response, and stared up at him in surprise.

"Hang on, am I hearing this correctly? Are you seducing me?" she said curiously.

"Well...I'm attempting to," he replied with a smirk. "I at least get something for effort, don't I?

"It's working, so you'll definitely get something. I'm sure of that much," Alexa said softly. "But why are you doing this?"

"I don't like seeing you afraid like that; ergo, I'm trying to do something to improve the situation," he said. She felt his lips brush lightly against the side of her ear and was unsure of what to do in this situation. Alexa felt a rising panic in her chest upon realizing that she had no idea what the hell she was doing but as he put a hand on the base of her back, she felt something spark inside of her that she could not explain. With this newfound strength, she reached up and wrapped her fingers around his shirt collar.

"You can keep cheering me up, then. I don't mind that at all," Alexa whispered as she reached up and pressed a kiss on his lips. Q gladly leaned into her and their bodies seemed to fit with each other's almost naturally, with Alexa placing her arms around his neck and Q putting his hands at her waist. He pressed his lips against hers, and the taste of her strawberry lip balm was nothing short of intoxicating to him.

As they kissed at the front entrance of the house, she began to test out a bit of a rougher approach and moved with what felt alright with her. His tongue danced wildly against hers and sent a spark through her veins that fueled her to kiss him with more passion than she had before. Nothing else seemed to matter to her right now but the fact that she was here with him, and this was entirely real. It was tangible, and she would be a complete liar if she said she didn't enjoy any of it.

As minutes passed, it soon became a battle for dominance but this time, she wasn't afraid to push back. She felt him pinning her to the wall near the stairs and pushed her hips against his, going with what felt natural to do. She quite liked the feeling of her hips circling against his and it seemed that the feeling was mutual. He let out a groan and she felt him lean closer to her once more.

"Shouldn't we take this upstairs?" he murmured in her ear. It was a subtly veiled hint at what was to come and she found that she wanted it just as much as he did.

"Oh god, yes," Alexa said. Q chuckled quietly at her unabashed enthusiasm and she let out a cry of surprise as lifted her off her feet. Alexa kept her arms around his neck and continued to kiss him wildly as they went up to his room. For a moment, she felt her worries dissipate and become replaced by something else that she had never experienced before. It was as if nothing mattered now but the two of them and it was nice to know that for that moment in time, she didn't have to worry about the Agency and their bullshit. She kicked the door lightly behind them as they went in together, no doubt looking forward for the things that were to come. Alexa felt safer here with this man in this place, and the feeling he gave her that could not be conquered by anything else, not even fear.

* * *


	29. Chapter 28

_May your adventures bring you closer together, even as they take you far away from home._

_**-Trenton Lee Stewart** _

* * *

**_(December 6, 2013- 6:22 AM)_ **

Snow fell quietly outside the window and Q pulled Alexa a little closer to him. She gladly snuggled into him, happy to have at least some source of warmth. Last night had been a rather interesting night and after all had been said and done, all she was left wearing was Q's shirt and her knickers. She would be cold, if it weren't for Q, the covers, and the warmth that his body provided against hers. Her head was nestled against his chest and both of them felt at peace, which was a nice change from their hectic lives.

The continuous buzz of the doorbell downstairs broke the tranquil silence and rang loudly through the house. Q groaned and started to get up, but Alexa tried to pull him back down by grabbing his hand. "Come back," she mumbled sleepily.

"I might as well go down and see who it is. They won't leave until I answer the door anyway," Q said, letting go and swinging his legs off the side of the bed. After listening more carefully, he had deduced who it was, given by the way they rang the doorbell consistently in five second intervals. Only one person he knew of had a habit of doing that and Q figured that he should go answer it. Q put his glasses on before gathering various articles of clothing off the floor and pulling his trousers on. He glanced around for his shirt and returned his gaze to Alexa, who was half-asleep on their bed.

"Alexa, I need my shirt back," he said, nudging her gently.

"Too bad. It's mine now," Alexa muttered, curling up under the covers. He let out a sigh and sat next to her, placing a hand on her hip.

"What can I do to get it back?" he said softly. She seemed to wake up a little at his touch and glanced up at him, with a hint of a smile playing on the corners of her lips.

"Hmm...well, you could always fight me for it," Alexa said coyly. Q rolled his eyes and leant closer to her.

"That's hardly fair. I'm not exactly qualified to hold my own against you, Miss 008," he murmured as his lips brushed against her cheek. "Besides, fighting you for my shirt would involve me wrestling it off of you, which would be rather ungentlemanly of me."

"You weren't so gentlemanly last night, love. I don't see why that should hold you back now," she replied with a grin.

"Fair point. But someone's still at the door. I have to do something about that," he said absentmindedly, his fingers trailing up her lower back.

"We could always wait until they go away," Alexa suggested.

"And how do you suggest we occupy our time whilst doing that?" he said, with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"Like this, naturally," she whispered, leaning up to kiss him again. They seemed to melt into each other's arms and in a matter of moments, they were kissing each other fervently. He leant against her and she pushed back, her lips hitting his at what she felt was the best angle. His hands went to her waist and he gave her a small squeeze before continuing to kiss her. She felt him nibbling the edge of her lip at some point and his hands wandered and touched where they pleased, leaving a sort of sensory overload in their wake. In turn, overwhelming sensations flooded over her and a sound of pleasure came out of her lips.

"I love you," she said breathlessly, pulling away from him. Their noses touched slightly and he found that he could not keep the smile off his face.

"Of course you do," Q said with a roll of his eyes as his hands settled at her hips. They heard the bell ring once more downstairs, as if to remind them to refocus. Q released his grip and turned away, which earned him a displeased look from Alexa.

"Coming!" Q shouted. At the same time, he heard Alexa shout something akin to, "Go away!" and he gave her an askance look.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" she said, staring up at him with bemused eyes. He merely shook his head and was unable to keep the smile off his face.

"I'm going down now. I still need my shirt, though," Q said, his fingers touching the top button on the shirt. Alexa merely smirked at him and whirled around.

"Nope," she said, happily curling up under the covers.

"Come on, Alexa. I'm halfway considering actually wrestling it off of you and that won't be pleasant," Q grumbled. She did not move (nor make an effort to) and burrowed deeper under the warmth of the sheets. Q, who saw that she was resolute, let out a sigh. He wouldn't be getting it back anytime soon, so he figured that it would be beneficial for him to obtain a replacement.

"Well, why on earth are you keeping it? What purpose would it even serve you?" Q said as he grabbed a spare shirt out of the closet.

"It keeps me warm, since you've decided to get up and answer the door," Alexa said in a disgruntled tone. "Besides, I bet it's just the mailman."

"It can't be them. They usually don't run their rounds until 6:45 or 7, if the weather's not too favourable," Q said, pulling the white shirt over his head. She blinked in surprise and stared at him.

"How do you know that?" she said curiously.

"I've lived here for a while and I've observed their schedule. It rarely changes, year to year," he shrugged. Alexa remembered at that moment that he was a man who made a point to observe things normal people would not and rolled her eyes.

"Right. Still, I'll be pissed if it does turn out to be something stupid like that," she said muttered.

"I'm sure you'll be pissed regardless, because they interrupted us. We could always make up for that later, though," Q said with a hint of a smirk on his face. Alexa looked back up at him with raised eyebrows.

"Is that a promise?" she challenged.

"Only if you want it to be," he called as he stood at the mirror, attempting to tame his unruly hair. Q gave up after several moments after seeing that the effort was futile and walked back to Alexa.

"I'll go see what they want," he said.

"Will you at least promise to come back soon?" she said, looking up at him.

"Silly girl. There's no reason for me not to come back to you," Q chuckled. He cleared a stray hair from her face and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. "I'll be back in a bit. Good morning, by the way."

"Alright. Morning to you too," Alexa said, giving him the same bright smile that she knew he liked. He ruffled her hair affectionately before turning around and heading downstairs. Q set the bag that Alexa had left last night onto the side of the stairs and stretched out momentarily, letting out a yawn. The doorbell had not ceased its ringing and Q went to the door, throwing it open.

"Ring the bell one more time and I just might murder you, Sherlock," he said.

"Ah, morning, Q. I've got news for you," Sherlock said, looking rather energetic for someone who arrived at almost a half past six. He's been out all night on a case again, Q thought as he stepped aside.

"What sort of news?" Q said warily, letting his brother in.

"The kind that involves your girlfriend," he said as they walked towards the kitchen. Sherlock took a seat at the counter and glanced over at Q. "By the way, did she tell you how the mission in Kiev turned out last night?"

"Sorry?" Q said, looking up at his brother.

"Alexa. She obviously got back late last night, given by the way that you look somewhat tired. You waited up for her; rather nice of you, really. You're getting soft, then," Sherlock said.

"I could've been up reading or working, Sherlock. I tend to do that quite a bit," Q pointed out, grabbing the mugs out of the cabinet.

"The suitcase at the stairs was enough of an indication but your appearance is the dead giveaway. Your hair is disheveled, more so than usual. You could have been tossing and turning last night (albeit, in a different sort of sense) and although it looks like you changed into your trousers just yesterday, they haven't been slept in, given by the way they aren't excessively wrinkled. Conversely, the same applies to your shirt; newly washed, but you didn't sleep in it. Otherwise, there would be creases in the middle of it. A missing shirt, yet you've lost it in your own house. You might misplace things every now and then, but I know it's not that bad. That indicates that you didn't lose it by misplacing it; you lost it to someone, particularly your girlfriend. In simpler terms, it means that Alexa is wearing your shirt right now. You did have quite the night, didn't you?" Sherlock said, the corners of his mouth curling up into a smirk.

"Correct as always. But then again, you had a late night too," Q said with a roll of his eyes.

"Really? Prove it," Sherlock challenged as he raised an eyebrow.

"You're unusually energetic for a man awake at 6 AM, but that's probably because of the coffee. Your sleeve has two small coffee stains; one looks slightly dry but the other is still semi-damp. That means you had coffee before coming (two cups in the last hour, so far) otherwise you wouldn't be functioning this well at this hour. Why would I know? Well, I'm your brother. I know how lethargic you are before your first cup. And before you tell me, knowing your habits isn't cheating; I'm just using my resources effectively. Anyway, there's a bump under your shirt sleeve and I know exactly what that means- nicotine patches. There are three, so you've been thinking about something big. It can't be normal, so it's a case. As shown by the bloodstain your shirt, I know you've had a late night of your own and you've been out on a case," Q said coolly.

"Good. Glad to see your deduction skills are still fairly sharp. Mycroft and I feared that you were getting dull," Sherlock said.

"I'm a Holmes. My deduction skills don't dull," Q said with a roll of his eyes as he turned around towards the stove. Sherlock watched as Q put water into the kettle and put it on the stove before turning back around.

"Alright, so...what's the news?" Q asked, holding out his hands in front of him.

"I've located Adler," Sherlock said.

"How the hell did you manage that? You don't usually have the necessary connections to do all of that," Q said.

"Don't doubt my connections. I've still got a liaison or two left in the FBI from the Ripper case," he replied, looking offended.

"Right. So, where is she?" he asked, leaning forward against the counter.

"She was in Los Angeles a few weeks ago and they've been tracking her activity ever since news surfaced about her dubious...profession. Apparently, she became entangled with a serial killer their behavioural sciences division was tracking. Adler left the country under a pseudonym and the plane went to Tallinn, in Estonia. She's there right now and they were able to give me a copy of her estimated schedule from her assistant's drive. Really, this whole cloud-based system is rather handy; it's almost as if people just upload their whole lives online. Anyway, Adler will be heading off to Monaco in two days to meet with associates from Grigori Azarov and Mikhail Zharkov. Those two, I believe, are members of the Agency," Sherlock said, placing a manila envelope on the table.

"Good. If we get to Adler, we can get to the rest. I'll tell Alexa as soon as she gets out of bed," Q said as he reviewed the files.

"It'd be good for her to know as soon as possible," Sherlock said, toying with the edge of the placemat. Q could only nod in response and he handed his brother a cup of tea that had finished steeping.

"She'll be leaving me again, on another double shift. Whatever am I going to do with her?" Q sighed, staring down at his tea. A look of understanding crossed Sherlock's face and his lips formed a small O.

"Oh, so that's how you're supposed to feel," he said.

"Supposed to feel?" Q echoed blankly.

"Your girlfriend is rushing off again to kill someone, and it's always unclear if you'll get her back or not. She's in my situation, then," Sherlock muttered, drinking the tea he had been given.

"True. You are constantly running off," he pointed out.

"I usually go off to solve cases with John and I went off on another one yesterday. I had to pop off several times, but the last time I did, I came back at midnight. It didn't exactly help that I was bloodied from the case," Sherlock said. "Molly got angry at me and told me to be more careful, so I suppose that's how you feel."

"And are you careful?" Q asked, purely out of curiosity. He paused for a moment before coming up with what he thought was a viable response.

"My actions are not exactly what normal people would call careful. However, I do examine the options before doing something," Sherlock shrugged.

"Good. Carelessness leads to death and our dearest mummy would be quite...displeased by that," Q said primly. "She's almost lost you twice already, and I don't think she fancies losing you again."

"Twice? I only remember one," Sherlock said, his eyes narrowing.

"She almost lost you to your drug addiction a while back. Still counts, though," Q pointed out, gulping down a cup of tea. Sherlock glared at his younger brother in response and Q merely shrugged, all whilst knowing full well that this was still a touchy topic. They were interrupted by a loud bang from the bottom of the stairs and a female voice followed soon afterwards.

"Ow! Damn it!" Alexa said, her voice coming out louder than intended. She muttered a variety of colourful phrases in Russian before letting out a sigh to calm herself. She straightened the edge of the shirt near her thighs and headed towards the kitchen.

"Q, who was at the door? I hope it was nobody important," she called, attempting to make it seem like she had not fallen flat on her face. Before he could respond, she walked casually into the kitchen and Sherlock turned to look at her.

"Morning, Alexa," Sherlock said, merely smirking at her appearance. She could only stare at him with a look of horror and embarrassment in her eyes.

"Q! You could've said he was here!" Alexa exclaimed.

"I didn't have time to. You walked in before I could," Q said, with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

"Bit cold to go without trousers, isn't it?" Sherlock remarked. She pouted at him and folded her arms across her chest.

"Don't stare. It's rude," she muttered.

"I believe Q's the one that's looking at you, not me," Sherlock replied offhandedly, taking a sip of his tea. Alexa glanced over at Q, who quickly averted his eyes somewhat guiltily. She could only roll her eyes good-naturedly before heading towards them.

"Are you alright? Sounded like you struggled to get downstairs," Q said as he poured coffee in the mug.

"I missed the step at the bottom of the stairs. Nothing too serious," she replied.

"With the level of Russian vulgarities you threw about, it sounded serious," he muttered. She merely shrugged and watched as he left quickly, after realizing he was out of sugar. Alexa toyed with the edge of the mug and leant against the counter.

"And how are you, Sherlock?" Alexa said pleasantly.

"I'm doing well, I suppose. How was Kiev?" Sherlock asked.

"It was...honestly, quite troubling. I've been presented with another hurdle," Alexa sighed.

"Which is?"

"The Agency has a drive. Everything about who I was is on there, along with sensitive information that will most likely kill me," Alexa replied, wringing her hands back and forth. "I can't afford to let anyone access that information, especially Q."

"Why not? If he knows, he can understand your position and aid you better," Sherlock said, peering curiously at her.

"Sherlock, the aliases you saw while you were investigating my case were four out of many. The aliases the Agency has are ones I've worked hard to hide, and for good reason. If Q reads those files, I'm almost certain this would be over, and that isn't an exaggeration. Learning about every crime at my hands will break him and I can't let that happen. He is one of the few things I have left to love and I can't bear the thought of losing him. We've been through too much and worked too hard to ruin it like that," Alexa said softly. Sherlock let out a quiet hmm in response and she looked at her hands, unable to meet his gaze. They looked up as Q walked in with the sugar in his hand and Alexa's cheerful demeanor seemed to return once more. She greeted him as he returned back to his previous work.

"Any particular reason you came down?" Q asked as he poured a bit of sugar into the mug.

"I thought the person was gone, so I put on some shorts and came down to get you. Apparently, that wasn't the case," Alexa said as she grabbed a spoon out of the drawer. Q passed her a mug full of steaming coffee and the files from across the counter. She thanked him and gratefully took a sip of her coffee.

"Mm. Just how I like it," Alexa said, with a smile on her face.

"Well, you always make me great tea so I have to satisfy that somehow," Q pointed out.

"My love of good coffee isn't the only thing that you've satisfied in the last six hours," Alexa replied cheekily, giving him a grin.

"Glad to see my efforts are appreciated, then," he said with a laugh. "I'm sure that with you around, my skills always to be in high demand."

"Especially your skills down there, hmm?" she murmured quietly as she walked past him. Alexa saw him turn slightly red but he couldn't help but laugh at her unabashed flirtation, even if Sherlock was around. It was a refreshing quality of hers that was a nice change from the norm. She went back to her seat at the table with a smile on her face, carrying her coffee. It was as if as it was just the two of them there and their troubles seemed to fade, if only for a moment.

Sherlock cleared his throat, to regain their attention, and gave them a dirty look. "Quit flirting, you two. Would it kill you both to focus?" he said exasperatedly.

"Sorry about that," Alexa said, giving him an apologetic smile. She took a seat at the counter next to Sherlock and turned around to face him.

"You don't seem like you're prone to many social visits, so I'm assuming you have news for us," Alexa said. "Good or bad?"

"It depends on how you look at it," Sherlock replied, pushing the files towards her. "But either way you view it, we still found her."

"Details?"

"Adler was found in Los Angeles by the FBI. They heard rumours of her occupation and have been tracking her ever since. She left the U.S. a few days ago and flew off to Tallinn for a...business appointment, so to speak. She'll be heading to Monaco to meet with associates from Grigori Azarov and Mikhail Zharkov in two days, so you can head there early and intercept her," he replied.

Alexa opened the envelope and inspected the files carefully, taking in each detail of Adler's location one at a time. "She's a...dominatrix?" she questioned as she thumbed through the contents of the pages.

"How else would she acquire good blackmail material?" Sherlock said dryly.

"Hm. Fair enough, I suppose," she shrugged. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Not really," he said, standing up. "Keep the files here. I'll be going now."

"Alright. Thank you for the update, Sherlock," Q said, giving him an affirmative nod.

"I'll show you out. Come on," Alexa offered as she made her way towards the door with him. Sherlock followed her and she brought him into the foyer outside to bid him goodbye.

"Thank you for the files, Sherlock. Come by again sometime," Alexa said, as she handed him his coat.

"Yeah, I'll drop by again sometime. Q is actually one of the few people I'm willing to visit on social terms. Mycroft, on the other hand, is a completely different story," he muttered, slipping his sleeves over his arm. Sherlock went silent for a while before glancing back up at her.

"Alexa," he said.

"Yes?"

"Be careful. Try your best not to die," he said sternly.

"Of course I'll be careful. Why are you so worried? You're Sherlock Holmes; you don't particularly worry over anyone," she said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Well, you make Q happy in the way that no one could ever accomplish. And don't tell me that isn't true; the way you were flirting with him earlier was enough of an indication. He's almost lost you once and if he loses you again, I fear he may never be the same again," Sherlock said softly. She was struck with realization as soon as she heard him say that and nodded quietly.

"You really care for him that much, don't you? Well, alright. I'll keep that in mind while I'm in Monaco," Alexa said, patting him on the shoulder.

"Alright. Have a good mission," Sherlock said. Alexa waved goodbye and watched him go before heading back inside.

Her feet padded softly across the floors as she came back into the kitchen. She stood at the counter and grabbed the spoon off the table, placing it in her drink.

"Starting off a busy day, are we?" Q asked as he approached her.

"I'm afraid so. It looks like I'll be heading off again. This time, it's to Monaco," Alexa sighed as she took a long sip of her coffee.

"Shame. I just got you back," Q murmured as he put an arm around her waist. "Maybe I should just keep you here."

"I wish I could be kept here, actually. I know I need to go because it's my job but staying with you is something I wouldn't mind at all. It's better than dealing with the strife outside," she said as she tilted her head up to look at him.

"I could always accompany you, if that makes it any better," he suggested. "Triggers do have to be pulled once in a while."

"They do, but not by you. You don't exactly seem like the type to pull a trigger without question," Alexa said with a roll of her eyes. "Besides, I'm not endangering your life any more than I have already."

"Oh, come on. I picked up my fair share of firearm training from both of my brothers. I'm not as incapable with them as you think," Q protested.

"It's not that I don't think you can. I did, after all, see you fight off a man bigger than you without any trouble. It's just that I don't what you to put you at risk any more than I have already. I mean, I'm trying to keep you safe, not put you in the line of fire," she said as she drank her coffee. He let out a sigh in response and gave her a light squeeze around the waist.

"I can handle myself out there, love. You just worry far too much about me," Q murmured in her ear.

"Oh, like you're one to talk. I'm sure you worry far more than I do," she chided gently.

"You're an MI6 agent. Of course I would worry about you," he said dryly.

"I suppose you have a fair point," Alexa said. She finished off the last of her coffee and rinsed it in the sink before pulling away from him. "Are you coming back up?"

"I did promise you that I would," Q said as he washed off his mug. He dried off his hands before walking with her upstairs. As soon as they reached their bedroom, she felt a pair of arms slip around her hips.

"Care to finish what we started earlier?" he said softly, with a hint of a smirk on his lips.

"I wouldn't mind that. Work doesn't start until nine anyway," Alexa whispered, her fingers softly touching the side of his face. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leant in, pressing a deep kiss to his lips. He gave her a squeeze around the hips before kissing her chastely on the cheek. Alexa could tell that he was toying with her so she tumbled back onto the bed with him to retaliate. He let out a chuckle and rolled onto his side.

"I figured that you'd try to get back at me for that," he said.

"Well, you shouldn't tease me like that," Alexa said, with a pout.

"I don't see why not. It's rather amusing really, messing with you," Q replied.

"It gives me false hope for things to come," she grumbled.

"Maybe we should wait until later, then, if you're going to be a grump about it," he muttered as he stood up. She rolled her eyes and climbed back into the warmth of the bedsheets.

"Leading me on again," she sighed. "Fine. I'll sleep a bit, then."

"I'll get ready for work. You coming later today?"

"Sure, I guess. It's only a half past six, so I might as well sleep in," Alexa said.

"Alright. Enjoy the break while you can, I suppose," he replied. She mumbled something in response before drifting off into sleep again. Alexa vaguely remembered kissing him goodbye before he left, but nothing else. She was still exhausted from the night before, so it was rather easy for her to fall asleep.

She woke up a little before eight and rolled out of bed to get dressed. When it hit her trademark time of 8:59, she walked into the Q-Branch, ready to receive more information about Adler. M was standing with Q and they were looking at a large map on the projector.

"Morning," she said cheerfully, looking much more awake.

"You look chipper today. From Sherlock's information, I presume?" M said.

"Yes," Alexa said. "I didn't expect him to have a liaison in America."

"All of the Holmes brothers have eyes and ears everywhere," M said sagely.

"Mainly Mycroft, though," Q said absentmindedly. "Big Brother is always watching." He was typing out a long line of code that set down a pair of coordinates on the map. Alexa simply rolled her eyes at the Orwellian reference in regards to Mycroft and leant against the table.

"She's supposed to be meeting Azarov and Zharkov's associates at Monte Carlo. We've tracked her reservation at the hotel under the pseudonym, Irina Andersson," Q said as she peeked at his computer.

"Have you prepared her mission materials?" M asked.

"Yes, but I still have to acquire her legal documents. She's keeping the same weapons, but we've restocked them and ensured that they're functioning," Q said. "The folks at the records department should get them to me by the end of the day."

"Good. Alexa, I want you to catch Adler alive. That's the objective of your mission," M said.

"Is there any particular way I should do it?" she said.

"I believe it would be best to steal her away quietly. If you were to perform a casino shootout, it would draw media attention and unnecessary attention from the Agency. Additionally, Adler is the key player that could give you the upper hand, so it would be better to take her than Azarov and Zharkov's associates," he said.

"Good point. Aside from that, Adler's an international blackmailer who's bound to have enemies. If she doesn't show up, it could be assumed that one of her adversaries finally caught up to her," she said.

"Precisely. I trust that you can execute this by yourself, correct?" M said.

"Actually-" Q began. Alexa immediately knew what he was attempting to do and quickly subdued him with a glare.

"Whatever he's going to suggest, say no. I'm not letting him come with me," Alexa said firmly.

"Now that I consider it, it wouldn't be such a bad idea. Q is rather deft at tying up loose ends. He would be useful in dealing with making sure that you don't leave any traces behind," M mused.

"I could handle it myself! It's dangerous-" she protested.

"I work with the MI6, so I can't avoid danger. I have to step into the line of fire sometime," Q said gently as he put a hand on hers. She realised that he was right and let out a soft sigh.

"I know that," Alexa said quietly. "Doesn't mean I like it, though."

"Neither of us do. I don't like the idea of you risking your life for me in the same way that you don't like the idea of me doing the same for you," he replied softly. M noted their obvious hesitance to the matter but, upon realising how beneficial it would be if they both went, cleared his throat.

"Are you two quite finished?" he asked. They both looked up at him and Alexa nodded sheepishly.

"Sorry, sir," she replied. "What will we do, then?"

"As much as I know you'll hate it, I want you to go with Q. I know for a fact that he can handle himself in the field, so you don't have to worry so much about him," he said. Alexa sighed but nodded anyway.

"Alright, then," she shrugged. M nodded before saying his goodbyes and leaving the room. Q immediately stopped typing as soon as he left and turned to face her.

"Cheer up. I'm not that terrible to go on missions with," he chuckled.

"I'm just worried, that's all," she replied, frowning slightly. Q let out a sigh and leant closer to her, so that only she could hear what he was saying. No one ten feet away would be able to hear their conversation anyway; the Q-Branch was abuzz with new activity and the others rushed about, going through their daily work orders.

"Alexa, love, you're going to be fine. Both of us will be fine. You just need to relax a bit," he said, squeezing her hand gently.

"I don't know how I can relax. This is a high stakes operation. If we don't execute this correctly, it could backfire and put the MI6 into trouble," Alexa fretted.

"Listen, if you're that worried, I might just steal you away for a few hours while we're there," Q said.

"Steal me away? To do what?" she said, looking completely confused.

"We could go out on a date of our own. You know, in order to relax you. Seems like you need it, after all, with all the stress you've been handling for the past few months," he replied.

"I mean, that does sound really nice. We just have to get everything done first," she said softly.

"Naturally," he said with a roll of his eyes. "I'll take care of tying up the loose ends, by the way. Just focus on Adler and ignore the legalities."

"Right. Thank you," she said with a smile. It was nice that for once, she didn't have to deal with the logistics or legalities. All she had to do was focus on her mission and that alone.

Maybe bringing Q wouldn't be such a bad thing after all.


	30. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You must all be wondering why I updated today, despite the fact that I updated three days ago. Well, it's for a specific reason— it's the one year and one day publication anniversary of Agent Chetiri!
> 
> I wanted to surprise everyone about it and give you several treats for managing to stick around with this story for so long.
> 
> One is this new chapter! It's mostly fluff which I suppose can be rare if you're reading a spy story where the main gist is killing people.
> 
> The other surprise is on my tumblr page (cumberwookie on tumblr)! I made another movie poster but this time, I drew it myself. Don't forget to check it out, or like it, or reblog it!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the story!

_Let's take a walk. You can show me some of your memories and I'll show you some of mine. The old pains may still be real, but they can heal over time._

_**-Adam Berlin** _

* * *

**_(December 7, 2013- 11:20 AM)_ **

A black car sped through the quiet, narrow streets of Monaco, kicking up water from the puddles as it passed by. It was raining when Alexa and Q had landed in the Nice Côte de Azure Airport, which was about an hour before, and rain assaulted every part of their vehicle.

"Damned rain," Q muttered as he rounded a sharp corner. Alexa glanced up at him from her phone and quirked an eyebrow.

"Hmm? I thought you liked the rain," she said quizzically.

"When did I tell you that?" he said, sounding puzzled.

"I believe it was from our little lunches together before I went away," Alexa replied. Q's eyes flashed with recognition and he made a sound of agreement.

"What I mean was that this rain ruins my plans of taking you out somewhere," he said, sounding mildly irritated. "Can't go out on a stroll in the pouring rain, can we?"

"We could always do it. Not that I would mind," Alexa said, with a hint of a smile on her lips. Q turned to look at her for the briefest of moments, before chuckling softly to himself.

"I highly doubt you would agree to that. You can be, after all, incredibly vain about your appearances," he said as he pulled the car into a parking spot in front of a grand, gilded hotel called the Hotel de Paris.

"That's not true!" Alexa said. "I was taught to kill, not to primp."

"Out of the both of us, which one spends a half hour in the bathroom every morning, primping up for the day?" Q said dryly as he picked up his phone. She stopped once she realized that he was right.

"Damn," she muttered. "You've got me there. But you shouldn't mind; it's for your enjoyment anyway."

"I appreciate the effort," he said. "but it's one that isn't necessary. You look perfectly fine without anything added on."

"Whatever. I don't see you complaining about it," she said breezily. She grabbed a file out of her bag and pulled another stack of papers out of the glove compartment.

"So, who are we today?" he asked. Her eyes lit up at the mention of the matter and she looked up at him with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh, I know! I finally got the hang of this whole 'undercovers-for-two' thing," she said.

"I'm sure you have," Q said, a casual smirk spreading across his face. She soon realized that her words had a double entendre and therefore, could be misconstrued as risqué. Upon realizing this, she swatted him playfully on the arm.

"Not like that, you cheeky little bugger!" she laughed. "What I meant was my last mission. Bond at least gave me some tips on how to make a decent backstory for two people."

"Humour me, then. Who am I today?" Q replied, looking amused. She flipped the passport open in her purse briefly before returning her gaze to him.

"Today, you're Daniel Evans, a twenty-eight year old software engineer from England," Alexa said.

"What about you?"

"I'm Amy Holloway, a twenty-seven year old accountant from Scotland. It says that we're supposed to be a couple out on vacation. Fairly standard, as far as covers go," she said. He let out a quiet hmm and inspected the paper in his pocket.

"The records department actually took advantage of our relationship, then. I'll have to commend them for that," he said, sounding pleased.

"I suppose. They could've done better on your name, though," she shrugged.

"They can't put down Q as my first name, love. That's not entirely inconspicuous," he said, looking as if she had amused him.

"I know, but why Daniel? I might end up calling you Danny Boy for the rest of this mission," she teased.

"Between my alias and my real name, Danny Boy seems like the lesser or two evils. I can deal with it for two days," he shrugged.

"How is Danny Boy any better than Sherrinford?" she said, looking perplexed.

"Oh god, don't get me started on that," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"But I want to know! Why is Sherrinford such a terrible name? I think it's kind of charming, in an obscure, English way," she said thoughtfully.

"In what way is it charming? It's obscure and it brings forth a variety of unpleasant nicknames. My brothers used to give me grief for it, calling me Sherry," he said, looking annoyed. "Sherry is a fortified wine from Southern Spain, often taken as an apéritif. It should not be the nickname of a twenty-eight year old man."

"Oh, chin up. I'm sure Mycroft and Sherlock had their fair share of unpleasant nicknames," Alexa chuckled.

"Trust me, they did. I made sure of that," Q said, looking somewhat smug in his response. She blinked in surprise, not expecting that sort of response from him.

"You gave your brothers grief over their names too?"

"Of course. Look at Mycroft, for example. Mum calls him Mikey, which he really hates, but he used to be a tad bit chubby when he was younger so Sherlock and I used to call him Fatcroft. If he was acting especially mean, we resorted to calling him Thighcroft. Matter of fact, we still call him one of the two when we're cross with him," Q said matter-of-factly. Alexa burst out laughing, at this unexpected information. She had never taken Q as the type to make nicknames for his brothers, much less spiteful ones.

"What about Sherlock? Surely he has an embarrassing nickname too," Alexa said.

"Everyone in the family calls him Sherl. He absolutely hated it; says it made him sound like a woman. Whenever I used to tease him, I'd call him Sherly. If I was cross with him, though, I'd resort to calling him Shitlock," Q said with a small smirk on his face. This caused her to laugh a bit more and she shook her head.

"That's terrible," she chuckled as she stepped out of the car. "Though if I ever had siblings, I wouldn't be surprised if I did the same thing."

"Never mind siblings. They tend to meddle with all aspects of your life, particularly if you're in my family," he said.

"Oh, no. I'm quite aware of that," Alexa said, with a twinkle in her eyes. He rolled his eyes good-naturedly and, like the gentleman he was raised to be, put an arm around her and an umbrella over her head. She gladly leant against him with a small smile on her face and went towards the building.

They soon walked into the main lobby of the hotel and she briefly glanced around at the marbled walls for anything that should be of interest. Nothing caught her eye so she returned her attention to the receptionist.

"May I help you?" she asked, her accent weighing heavily on her tone of voice.

"Yes, we'd like to check in," Alexa said, giving her a smile.

"Alright. I'll need your passports, please," she said. Alexa passed the two small booklets to her and she scanned them before flipping through the pages.

"Alright, Mr. Evans and Miss Holloway, then?" she said, looking up from her desk.

"That's us," Q said with a casual wave of his hand. The woman nodded and handed Alexa a paper and two sets of keys.

"You're in room 1103. Elevators are down the hall, to your left. Enjoy your stay," she said, smiling at them. Alexa thanked her and Q led her away with his arm wrapped around her waist.

"That certainly went a lot smoother than my last trip," she said.

"Why so?" he asked as he pressed the button to head up.

"The last time I checked in, the woman thought James and I were married," she chuckled. "You must not be too pleased about that, hmm?"

"Maybe," Q said as he led her onto the waiting elevator. "Although I'm sure you would act the same way if I was ever in the same situation."

"Probably. Good thing you don't go off on missions a lot," she said.

"I rarely do," he scoffed. "I don't do much personal overseas business and anyway, my fear of planes seems to hinder me from doing so."

"But you flew here with me just fine. Or at least, you seemed fine. You didn't say anything and I really wasn't paying attention," she said curiously.

"You missed seeing me grip the armrests so hard my knuckles turned white, then," he said, with a small smirk on his face.

"Oh, I did! From that, I would've probably put together the whole fear of planes thing," she said. Her brow furrowed in confusion and she looked up at him again. "If you really hate flying, then tell me why."

"You're stranded in a pressurized metal car amongst strangers with stale, continuously recycled air (where the particles of someone's sneeze from five minutes before ends up in your lungs through improper ventilation). To make matters worse, it's the breeding ground for disease transport and planes give you little room to move around," he said.

"Those can't be the only reasons," Alexa said disbelievingly as she stepped off the elevator. "If so, there isn't much depth to your hatred of flying on a plane.

"Oh, no. Those are just the flaws. The main reason why I hate planes is because the risks outweigh the convenience of earlier arrival times. For instance, if the pilot botches any aspect of the landing or takeoff process and crashes the plane, you'll be much better off shooting yourself than slowly burning alone in a field amongst the other corpses of the passengers," he said adamantly as he led her to the room. Q opened the door for her with his key and they walked in, continuing their conversation.

"That's a grim outlook. Are you ever optimistic?" she said as she flung her purse onto the couch.

"Not when it comes to flying. Why a tonne of metal should be allowed to fly through the air, I don't know," he said stubbornly. "Besides, it's terribly easy to crack their autopilot system, so you could be put off course easily."

"How would you know that?" Alexa said, her brow furrowing in confusion. He didn't answer her question and pretended that he had not heard her. Alexa realised what his silence meant and she stared at him from the small kitchen.

"Q! Don't tell me you hacked into a plane!" she said, looking surprised.

"It was an experiment!" he retorted as he sat down at the couch. "Besides, we all have sins on our shoulders; that just happens to be one of mine."

"I didn't even think it was possible to do that," she sighed as she sat down next to him. Alexa lay her head against his shoulder and glanced at her hands.

"Did anyone die?" she said curiously.

"Actually, no one did. I wanted to test the extent of autopilot capabilities. Apparently, you can fly an entire flight solely by using the autopilot," he said.

"Lucky. People don't die when you get involved," she muttered.

"That was one instance. There were certainly deaths I caused with my involvement," he said thoughtfully.

"Like when?" she said, entwining her fingers with his.

"During the time I was working for Moriarty, when I finished developing the code," Q sighed. "That's about the time I tested the plane experiment. It helped crash a plane that was crucial to the Bond Air fiasco Mycroft was running a while ago."

"I see," Alexa said. "You've shared one of your secrets with me. I suppose this means I have to return the favour?"

"Eventually, you will," he shrugged as he stood up. "Who knows, maybe you'll finally tell me something about your old life when we go out drinking."

"Getting drunk and sharing secrets doesn't seem like a normal thing for you to do," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Doesn't sound like a thing you'd normally do either. But then again, you're stuck with me for the rest of this mission. Anything goes. I wouldn't be surprised if it happened," he said as he began unpacking his small case.

"I bet it won't happen. You wouldn't let it," she said as she leant against the door, with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

"Consider your challenge accepted, then," he said with a lazy smirk. He knew he would win this one for sure. Secrets were usually spilled when one was not sober, and he doubted she would guard them even when she was inebriated.

All he had to do now was wait for it.

* * *

Getting drunk and sharing secrets with one another was exactly what they ended up doing that evening.

They had already finished the mission preparations for tomorrow. Alexa and Q had proceeded to install tracers on the security system which Q could activate from his phone to turn them off when he needed to. After they had done so, they ate a late lunch at a small restaurant and discussed mission logistics together.

The afternoon was generally uneventful; many things were closed since it was the winter time and the rain ruined his plans of roaming around with her. Instead, they stayed in the room and combed through the information about Adler. By the time dinner rolled around, Q took her out to a small restaurant called Café de Paris, which was right across from their hotel.

She sat with him in a quiet section of the restaurant, near the window on the upper floor. Alexa had gone out of her way to look at least somewhat presentable tonight. She wore a well-fitted red dress and let her hair hang down in soft curls. Q put some actual effort in his appearance as well, wearing a suitcoat ensemble with a white dress shirt an slacks underneath.

He glanced out the window briefly before returning his gaze to her. "I apologize, by the way, for today," he said suddenly.

"Why would you be apologizing?" Alexa said, looking up in confusion.

"We could've had a better date," he shrugged.

"We went out to lunch and you've just now taken me out to dinner. I think you did fine, actually," she said with a small smile on her face.

"If it wasn't raining, we could've at least gone out and explored," he muttered. She merely rolled her eyes and looked up as the waiter came by.

"Bonsoir, et bienvenue á Le Café de Paris.

Qu'est-ce que je vous sers deux ce soir?" he asked. After realising that she really didn't remember an ounce of French, Alexa chose to keep quiet and hoped Q would vouch for her.

"Je vais prendre une assiette de bœuf braisé," Q said.

"Trés bien. Et vous, mademoiselle?"

"Hmm..." Alexa said as she skimmed the menu, attempting to hide the fact that she didn't know any French. After a few seconds, she gave up and went off what Q said.

"Je vais prendre bœuf braisé," she said hesitantly. Q immediately caught her hesitation and smirked at her from across the table. She shot him a silent glare and looked back down at the menu in her hands.

"Bien sûr. Voudriez-vous du vin avec ça?" he said.

"Oui, peut-être...deux verres du Vin du Lac Cabernet Franc 2001," Q said.

"Un bon choix, Monsieur. Ceux qui devraient être prêts en quinze minutes," the man said before he went off in the other direction. As soon as he left, Alexa turned to look at Q again.

"You never told me you knew French!" Alexa said, looking surprised.

"And you never told me you didn't know French," he said dryly.

"What, you assumed I knew French?" she said, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"I know what sort of business you work in. I assumed you knew a handful of languages because of it," he said.

"Languages aren't my forte. I had enough trouble learning Russian and English at the same time when I was little," she said.

"I see. It was a decent effort, though, aside from the fact that you butchered the pronunciation," Q teased. She chuckled a little and looked up as the waiter came by once more with two glasses of wine. The sight of the wine seemed to trigger her memory and she studied Q quietly as she held the glass in her fingertips.

"I almost forgot to tell you," she said as she glanced at the dark red drink. "You choose wine so easily. It takes me about five minutes or so to pick out what I want. I would be completely fooled if you told me you were a sommelier."

"I enjoy a glass of good wine, or good alcohol every once in a while," Q shrugged.

"So not only are you fluent in different languages, you're an alcohol connoisseur too," Alexa said.

"That's right," he said, taking a sip of his wine.

"Only in this business can I acquire a dry-humoured, multitalented, polyglot-genius for a boyfriend," Alexa muttered. "I can't imagine you being anywhere else."

"Speak for yourself. Only by working in with the security of the country would I acquire a former Russian spy for a girlfriend," he said dryly. She laughed softly and shook her head. He truly was one of a kind.

And so the evening continued, full of flirtation, bursts of conversation, and copious amounts of drinking. One glass of wine soon turned into several and they sat together at a table near the bar, after the meal, drinking and chatting with one another. They were currently playing a round of deductions on unsuspecting people in the restaurant. It was Alexa's go and she was currently losing, with a score of 4-1.

"See that man over there?" Alexa said.

"Which one?" Q said. There was a pleasant buzz in his system and he didn't feel that drunk. Not yet, at least.

"He's a chronic drunk. He takes out his flask when his wife's not looking. Unhappy marriage then. Must be bored," she said.

"You're right about several things. What makes you think that's his wife, though?" he said, leaning back in the chair.

"She's chatting at him animatedly, almost desperately. Bored housewife trying to at least spice up their marriage. Hair, makeup, small tattoo on the inside of her wrist was for him," she said. "Besides, he's got a ring on his finger. So does she."

"That's what they want you to believe, though. Hair and jewellry, are all relatively new. Her hair was dyed approximately a week ago; the colour isn't faded and the roots are still bright. Jewellry isn't worn; it still shines, so either it was recently cleaned or it's brand new. However, it has to be new because there aren't any scratches. It's a real sapphire on the front, so it wouldn't be carelessly scratched like the ones you find in department store. It'd be under lock and key. She's really brought her best to the show tonight, so something important must be occurring. Tattoo is old, but the symbol is unmistakable. It's a marking symbol for the prostitutes in the human trafficking rings in China, particularly the Hunan province," he said.

"Onto the man. Chronic drinker with slight scars on the sides of his arms and face. Bad dealings in the past, then. His countless rings are unmistakable. They're all status rings of high importance in the Triads' hierarchy. I suppose you didn't notice because for one, you're drunk. Two, it's only logical to assume you had more business in Europe, not Asia. Every time he glares at her, she shrinks back like she's afraid of him. She's talking at him desperately, probably for good reason. He's looking to get rid of her; she just has to cling onto him or find another person to take care of her. More simply, we're looking at another pimp and prostitute couple," he continued casually, leaning back against his chair.

Alexa could only stare at him in disbelief. "That's impossible. She can't be," she said.

"Trust me, she is. Watch," he said as he motioned with his head towards the couple. The woman's tone seemed to grow more frantic before the man motioned to two other men sitting at the bar. Her eyes were wide with terror and she slapped him.

"You can't do this to me! You can't just throw me away!" she shouted. The man merely sighed and motioned for her to be taken away. She screamed in anger before disappearing into the front of the café and from view.

"Holy shit," Alexa said. "How would you even figure that out? You're supposed to be drunk!"

"You're going to have to get me a lot more drunk than that to impair my deductive reasoning skills," Q chuckled, sounding amused. "I believe that's another one for me."

"I give up," Alexa said, throwing up her hands. "I'm never going to beat you at this rate."

"You could. Only if I was really drunk, though," he said.

"Maybe. You know, I don't actually know why I agreed to this, really," she chuckled quietly. "Winning a round of deductions against a Holmes brother? I'd have better luck having tea with the queen!"

"True. Mycroft could always set you up. He visits Elizabeth frequently," he shrugged.

"You're on a first name basis with the queen?"

"Mum wanted to meet her. Mycroft arranged it and mum dragged me along. Sherlock didn't go because he's a greenhorn with societal norms," Q shrugged. "She isn't really as serious as she looks."

"You are an enigma. Really! There is no one quite like you," Alexa said, shaking her head.

"As are you," he said, smiling slightly at her. She returned his smile with one of her own and watched as his brow furrowed slightly.

"You know, you are quite the enigma. Maybe you should tell me more, bring me out of the dark a little bit," he suggested.

"Depends on what you want to know. My secrets usually end up staying secret, since the recipient never makes it out alive," she shrugged. Q rolled his eyes and leant back in his chair.

"What was your old life like? Your childhood?" he said. She hesitated for a moment, as if trying to put together something appropriate to say, before her mouth opened again.

"It was...simple. Life really wasn't complicated. There was school, there was our house, and grandmother's place," she said. Alexa pulled her wallet out of her purse and showed him a tattered, faded photograph of a brown haired woman, a blonde haired man, and a little girl.

"This was my mum. She stayed at home and cared for me. I lived on a farm, so we used to play tag in the pasture. I remember her pearls and perfume the most, though. She never took them off; just kept them on, like a lady," Alexa said softly as she pointed to the brown haired woman.

"She's pretty. You look a lot like her, save for your eyes," he said as he studied the photograph.

"You're right about that, I suppose. Dad was a doctor. He let me play in his clinic a lot, and according to the old photos, I used to run around with the stethoscopes. We would go hunting together, but I remember the gunshot terrified me. It meant something had died. Mum never liked it and tried to fill up his hunting days with visits to grandmother's house."

"We had dinner with grandmother on Sundays and we spent a lot of time at her house too. I used to bring her caterpillars and rabbits, all sorts of little creatures. She asked me why, I remember, and I said that it was because dad killed things out there and if I kept them at grandmother's, they would be safe. So yeah, life was simple and it was nice," she said quietly. Her eyes were somber after talking and they seemed to brighten up slightly as she looked at him.

"I've said my secret, so what about you? What was your childhood like?" she asked.

"It was...not as warm as yours," he confessed. "Honestly, it was like living in a shadow."

She almost asked him if it had to do with his brothers, but the words never left her mouth. Alexa knew the sibling rivalry between the Holmes brothers was a touchy topic, and she didn't want to say the wrong thing. "Really? Will you tell me why?" she said softly.

"Take a guess," he chuckled lightly as he took a drink. "Go on, I won't be mad at your answer."

"Your brothers?" she said hesitantly.

"You're on the right track," he said. "More like my entire family."

Alexa's eyes widened, and she looked at him wonderingly. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, mum and dad spent the duration of my childhood raising us to have their attitude on life—self-enrichment is most important. Dad used to tell me to always be the most competent person in the room. That's just the way it was. I guess that's the environment you get when you pair a Naval Commander and a Mathematician together," he chuckled.

"Wait, a Mathematician? Naval Commander? Which job belonged to your mum and to your dad?" Alexa said curiously.

"Mum was the Mathematician. She became one in her spare time after she quit being the old M's assistant and after Mycroft was born. She even wrote a book, The Dynamics of Combustion. Dad was a Naval Commander before he died of a heart attack when I was thirteen. He and I were never particularly close, but he wasn't a cold or mean man. He was just never home all the time, so I was never able to forge a proper opinion of his character," Q said.

"Mycroft, as you know, is several years older than me, and we never saw eye to eye for that very reason. He was good at nearly everything; he excelled in school, was active in community matters, and won contests for playing the cello. He even made some friends, believe it or not. Sherlock is only a little older than me, and we were close as children. We aren't as close now, but we still see each other more than we see Mycroft. He was the exact opposite; he didn't make friends, didn't give two shits about the community, and cared mainly for himself. People called him a recluse, and he didn't get along with anyone except us," he said.

"Anyway, he was brilliant too; he excelled in school (despite the fact it bored him), won the same science competition in our school each year, and competed in violin competitions. He never won any of those, of course, because he never put any actual soul in his music at the time. He didn't see a need to," Q continued. "I lived with all four of these people. They were all brilliant, and I was the youngest of the bunch. They set the bar for excellence, and I would have to achieve it or be subject to constant teasing from my brothers."

"Competition is always a sad way to grow up," she said, her voice far away as she thought of her own childhood. Alexa had suspected they were alike in that aspect, and she wasn't surprised to hear his confirmation.  _Like really does attract like_ , she mused.

"What did you do?" she said.

"It honestly got a bit ridiculous, so I retreated into computers. Everything was simple and made sense there; it was all numbers and logic. There was no drama or expectation to worry about; working with computers was somewhere my family hadn't touched yet, so I could finally set my own benchmarks there. That's the whole reason why I went down this path. The other path I had was music, since I could put my soul into it and the product would be wonderful in response. I almost dropped out of school to become a musician, but I was never brave enough to go through with that dream," he said softly.

"I see," she said. Alexa paused for a moment before she smiled at him. "I'm glad you made your own path, even with all of that pressure."

"I guess. I couldn't see myself doing any other job," Q said.

"Me neither. I've never really thought of you in any other field. A doctor, no. A lawyer, possibly but not really. Definitely not a pilot either. A musician would be the most plausible other job I can think of," she said.

"I couldn't see you playing nurse or arguing in court either," he chuckled. Q took one last swig of his drink before looking at her again. "You lost the bet, by the way."

"Which one?" she asked, looking confused.

"You bet earlier that getting drunk and sharing secrets was something we would never do," he said. "Lost point, really, because I instigated it."

"Oh, right. I'm a bit surprised at that one, among other things. You are full of surprises," she said thoughtfully.

"Says you. You never fail to surprise me," he chuckled. They both looked up as the grandfather clock in the corner struck eleven.

"Is it that late already? We should head back, then," Q said, standing up.

"I guess you're right," she said. He put an arm around her waist and walked along with her. The pair swayed side to side slightly, but kept each other in balance for the most part through mutual means of support.

As they walked to the side of the bar, Alexa spotted an unused, yet open grand piano in the corner. It seemed to spark something in her memory and she stopped, causing Q to look over at her.

"Something wrong?" he said.

"Didn't you say you could play piano?" she said.

"Why do you think I have a piano in my house?" he said dryly.

"Well, surprise me one last time this evening, then. Care to play me something?" she challenged. His eyes were alight with curiosity and he smirked at her.

"If you say so," he said. Q sat down at the wooden bench with her and his long fingers ghosted over the black and white keys, for the briefest of moments. He then dove in and began playing a difficult sounding song, his fingers darting like lighting across the keys. The song was deceptively sweet in its flowing quality, but she could hear the darker undertones beneath it. She could feel the actual, honest emotion he put in the music and figured that this was where his feelings really went. Alexa watched quietly, mesmerized as he continued to play and soon found herself thoroughly impressed by his skills.

He finished grandly, his fingers hitting the keys with utmost certainty (despite being inebriated). The song brought a smile to her face and evoked applause from the other people in the restaurant. Q merely gave them a half-smile before he headed out with her.

"That was amazing," she said excitedly as they headed back into the hotel and into the elevator. "Tell me, why don't you play in the house more often?"

"I didn't know if you'd like it," he shrugged.

"Are you kidding me? I wouldn't mind at all, hearing that every day!" Alexa said. "It almost made me wish I learnt an instrument."

"They didn't teach you anything about music growing up?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "We were put on specific things to learn. Mine were more physical things, ballet and gymnastics."

"Right. That explains why you can still land a backflip or two even though you're almost thirty," he said as he led her to the door of their room. He fumbled with the key momentarily before he finally brought her inside.

They went in and she leant against him, happy to be here with him. As far as she was concerned, their date had gone really well and she had emerged from it with a better understanding of who Q was. Conversely, he had a better view of what had childhood had been like. It was a nice trade off and she hoped they could do it again sometime.

"Thank you, by the way. That was a great date. It was just what I needed," she said, smiling gently at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Not a problem. I'm glad you enjoyed the evening," Q said. He let his hands rest at her waist and he pressed a rather chaste kiss to her lips.

She gladly joined in, eager to kiss him after their pleasant evening out. Their kiss, like always, began slow and sweet. Alexa could taste the smoky red wine on his lips and went deeper, letting his tongue dart out against hers. It would build up and become more fervent when one of them took the initiative to take it further. Today, it would be Alexa. Something seemed to spark inside of her and she kissed him boldly, not afraid to work in a rougher approach. Q did not seem to mind and gladly went along with it, slinking a hand up her thigh. He leant closer to her and kissed her gently on the neck.

"Is the alcohol finally kicking in or are you just excited?" he mumbled, his breath hot against her neck.

"Maybe both," she smirked. "It sounds strange to admit, but seeing you show off your musical prowess was a bit of a turn on."

"It's decided. I'm playing piano for you regularly, then," he announced. Alexa laughed briefly before kissing him once more and kicking the bedroom door shut behind her, for the last time that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! Hope you liked this chapter and I hope you like the presents I prepared for you.
> 
> Don't forget to check out the new poster on the cumberwookie tumblr page!
> 
> Leave a review, if you would like as well :)


	31. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back! Sorry for the long wait. I had to focus on actually passing midterm season, and I did, so college is actually going fairly well now.
> 
> I finally have some free time, so here is a new chapter. I hope you like it!

_Never think of pain or danger or enemies a moment longer than is necessary to fight them._

**_-Ayn Rand_ **

* * *

**_(December 8, 2013- 10:30 AM)_ **

Q crept into the bedroom quietly, trying to make as little noise as he could. He had woken up roughly an hour ago and left to go find breakfast for both of them. In the end, he finally emerged out of Monaco's various cafés with a cup of coffee, several pastries, and his cup of tea.

He set down the food and stared at Alexa's sleeping form on the bed. As he watched her, he decided it would not be the best idea to wake her. Last night had been a late, yet eventful night. By the end of it, she was soundly asleep with no intention of being woken up.

His shoes clicked loudly against the floor as he stepped without thinking, and he cursed quietly, looking down at his feet. Within moments, there was a flurry of activity on the bed and Alexa shot up, pointing a gun at him. It was an odd sight to see, really; a woman clutching at the sheets while pointing a gun at her unannounced visitor.

"Don't shoot, it's just me," Q said, holding up his hands. She stared at him in utter confusion, as if she was attempting to figure out what was going on, and immediately put the gun on the table.

"Sorry," she said, running a hand through her hair. "Where did you go?"

"I went out to grab breakfast, since it looked like you didn't intend on waking up," Q said as he headed to the bed and sat with her.

"How sweet. You really should stop leaving me unannounced, though. I might accidentally fire the next time," she mumbled as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"I suppose that's fair. Care for some food?" he asked as he held up a bagel. Her stomach made a sudden, yet audible growl before she could speak, causing her to laugh aloud.

"Sounds wonderful," she said as she took the bread and cheese. The fragrant aroma of freshly baked bread filled her nostrils, and she gratefully took a bite of her meal as Q drank his tea. He sipped his tea thoughtfully for a moment before turning to face her.

"So?" he said. She was caught off guard by his word and turned to face him.

"So what?" Alexa replied, looking puzzled.

"I'm presuming that it would be wise to go through today's mission," he said as he set the cup on the table. Her eyes brightened up and she rose to grab a pile of papers off the desk.

"We arrive separately, at staggered intervals. You'll be first, and you find Adler and catch her interest. I'll make sure her associates don't interfere. Once you see me enter, I'll take her from there," she said as she picked up the files. "Simple enough, right?"

Q did not answer her and she turned around with arms akimbo, staring at him in confusion. "Well?" she said. He was silent and appeared to be thinking about something else. Her frown deepened and she folded her arms across her chest.

"You're staring at me again, aren't you? Q, you really shouldn't feel awkward when I walk around in my undergarments anymore. You've seen me in less," she sighed as she tossed one of his shirts over her head. Alexa turned once more to grab another folder and heard his voice behind her once more.

"It's not that," he finally said. "It's just that you never told me why the Agency gave you a scar there."

She froze in the middle of grabbing the folder and set it down, initially not knowing what to say. "You noticed it just now?" Alexa said, without turning around.

"Oh, I've noticed," he smirked. "The only problem is that you keep distracting me to keep me from asking about it."

She merely rolled her eyes and took her position next to him once more. "Right, like it's my fault. You have some part in it," Alexa replied.

"It's still mostly your fault," he mumbled, wrapping an arm around her. Q sat quietly for a moment, looking over the files before turning slightly to ask her another question. "So, what earned you that scar?"

"Hmm...defiance, really. After my first kill, I threw a tantrum, essentially, and became terribly uncooperative. After starving me for a few days, I remember I shouted at Bartov and he gave me a scar as punishment," she said softly. "He put it there to remind me who I would always be, I suppose."

"Sometimes I wonder how you managed to make it out of there," he murmured as he flipped a page over. "Speaking of which, how do you plan to get Adler out of the building without anyone noticing?"

"Erm..." Alexa said, realizing that she had made an oversight on one of the most crucial points of the mission.

"Don't tell me—you forgot about it, didn't you?" Q said, sounding somewhat amused.

"No! I just...haven't gotten there yet," she said stubbornly.

"I had a feeling that you forgot about it. You wouldn't say anything to me about it yesterday, after all," he muttered.

"Oh, shut up. I forget things too," she said, swatting him playfully on the arm. He shook his head lightly and glanced at the papers once more.

"Alright, let's start from the beginning. You arrive first, and you lead away Adler's associates. How do we plan on getting rid of them?" he said.

"We can pick them off two by two. They're likely to travel in pairs, so I'll send both of them a message under Irene's name that the meeting's been moved to one o'clock at the Troisseaux Club downstairs. We should have a half hour window then," she said.

"Alright. Well, I'll arrive at noon and catch her attention at the casino," he said.

"And how do you intend on doing that?" Alexa said.

"By bringing up Sherlock, of course. He meant something more to her; she saw him as an equal, and I intend on using that to my advantage. Raise false hopes, and such," he smirked.

"And that's why you're doing it, not me; I wouldn't know what to tell her about Sherlock, honestly. Though your tactics, I must say, are rather devious. You don't fail to surprise me," she grinned.

"As always, the ends justify the means, Alexa. Now, how do you plan on getting her out?" Q replied.

"Good question. I was going to just do whatever fit the situation," she said smoothly.

"And in saying so, you're saying you don't have a plan," he said, evidently looking amused. Alexa pressed her lips together, attempting to think of something clever to say, but ultimately gave up on her endeavor.

"...That's correct," she sighed.

"Right," he replied. "Well, let me see what can be done. That's what I'm here for anyway—tying up loose ends."

"Well, we have to get her to leave willingly," she said, after a few moments of thoughtful silence. "She's strong, and she'll make a terrible fuss if we try to force her."

"Something normal enough not to warrant suspicion, then," Q said absently. He flipped through the files, giving each a cursory glance, before letting out a sigh.

"I'll have to bait Adler with information about Sherlock. But she still needs to go out willingly, so I'll tell her he needs her," he said. "I'll tell her to head to the car, and she can go with you to the airport. I'll stay a bit to clear up any traces and I'll meet you at the airport."

"Yeah...you're right!" Alexa said, looking excitedly at him. "While you're baiting her, I can check us out of the room. I'll grab the car, head out, switch the plates, and come back when you're ready."

"I have some sleeping pills that I can slip in her champagne as I talk to her. They usually take effect in fifteen minutes, from what I've tested, so we have that much time to get it done, then," he said.

"Sounds good. I'm assuming you'll have to do some shopping this morning, then," he said.

"Why?" she said, looking puzzled.

"If you leave and bring the car round again while wearing the same outfit, they'll surely recognize you, and that'll seem odd. But, if you leave and come back looking like someone's driver, they won't question anything," he said.

"I have to dress the part of a chauffeuse, then. That means I have to find an outfit of some sort," she said.

"Exactly," he said. Alexa merely nodded and a thoughtful look crossed her face.

"You know, I really didn't think about that. You really are adept at tying up loose ends, like M said," she said.

"The devil is always in the details," he shrugged as he rose out of bed. "When will you be going?"

"As soon as possible. We do have only two hours until the time arrives," she said. Alexa got out of bed and rummaged through her suitcase before pulling out a simple black dress, a pair of sheer tights, and her laptop. She tossed the clothes onto the chair and opened her computer, waiting for it to load. As Q prepared for the day ahead, she ran several programs on the hotel's computer network and used the tracers Q had activated the day before to worm her way into Irene's email system. She took the necessary precautionary steps before composing a quick message:

* * *

**_I've changed my mind. Meet me at the Troisseaux Club at one o'clock._ **

**_-IA_ **

* * *

The message was sent and she swiftly programmed the tracer to reroute her steps and eliminate them. After signing off, she took a quick shower and put her clothes on, swinging her loose hair to the side of her shoulder.

"Lovely as usual," Q remarked as she picked up her purse.

"Sweet of you to say, as usual," she said cheerfully. "I'll be gone for a bit."

"Right. See you later," he said, nodding affirmatively at her. She kissed him goodbye before walking out the door, ready to face the day ahead.

* * *

Alexa returned an hour later with two small bags in her arms. She walked past the gilded lobby and into the elevators, where she proceeded to her room. Alexa knocked softly before walking in and found Q sitting at the bed.

"I'm back," she announced as she set her things down and sat next to him. "What have you been up to?"

"I checked Adler's mail again. They've read it, but they haven't replied. Also, I took the liberty of making some documents you'll probably need to get through the gate as a private driver. Here you are," he said, handing her pieces of paper that contained a permit and a proof of certification.

"Huh, I didn't know that either. Nice work," she said, a small smile gracing her features.

"Thank you. As a Quartermaster, it is my job," he said, returning her smile with one of his own. "Did you find anything while you were out?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I'm now a bona fide chaffeuse, down to the hat and gloves," she said, with a roll of her eyes.

"Show me, then," he said, looking amused. She shot him a dirty look and let out a sigh.

"Fine, I'll do it, but only so you won't laugh at me later," she grumbled. She grabbed a white dress shirt and suit coat from her suitcase and took the bags as she went into the bathroom to get dressed. Alexa combed her hair into a high bun before tucking it neatly under her hat. She slipped on a pair of white gloves and glared at herself in the mirror before heading out the door.

"The things I do for this job are unfathomable," she muttered, calling up Q's attention from his computer. He looked up at her and after a brief moment of silence, began to laugh.

"I look like an idiot," she remarked. "Don't rub it in."

"I can't tell if you're a ship captain or a chauffeur," he said, looking amused.

"I look like one of the two, and that's all I really care about," she sighed as she sat down next to him.

"Don't look so dismayed. It's not that terrible," he said. "It gets the job done, doesn't it?"

"That it does," she said, taking her gloves off.

"It's rather cute, really," he said as he put an arm around her.

"It honestly can't be," Alexa deadpanned.

"Not the outfit, mind you. The premise is, that you dressed the part," he said, clarifying on his earlier statement. "Other than that, you look like a ship captain or a pilot, ready to serve the masses."

"At your service, sir," she said, jokingly tipping her hat towards him. He squeezed her waist gently before letting his lips brush gently against her cheek.

"I certainly wouldn't mind that," he murmured, smirking slightly. She let out a laugh before shaking her head.

"I know you wouldn't. That's why I said it. Care to let me start early?" Alexa replied, with a devious gleam in her eyes.

"Later, love. Call it an incentive to get this job done," Q said as he slipped the hat off her head. Alexa raised an eyebrow, looking evidently amused, and shrugged.

"You're passing me up, for once? Alright, if you say so. I should get ready anyway," she said, climbing out of bed. She changed out of her clothes quickly and gathered her materials as Q prepared for his departure as well. He put on a suit and a black tie and began packing his things. Alexa stopped him suddenly, looking at his appearance with disapproval.

"Your tie is always crooked," she muttered as she fussed over his appearance. He rolled his eyes good-naturedly and shook his head.

"It's perfectly fine. I don't know what you're going on about," he protested.

"You have slight astigmatism, Q. What looks correct to you is still slightly off," she sighed. He blinked in surprise and shifted his gaze to her.

"I never told you about that," he said, raising an eyebrow. "Have you finally found my files?"

"Sadly, no, I haven't found them. Although I may not be a Holmes, I can make some deductions of my own," Alexa muttered as she straightened the knot. "For one, you have glasses; usually an indicator of a history of eye problems. Secondly, your eyes always shift slightly right when you practice shooting intently. If I distract you and you're not thinking, you look straight ahead and always miss the centre by about 2 centimetres."

"My hands could just be shaking," Q said, seemingly interested in challenging her reasoning.

"They could be. But, I tested it when your hands weren't shaking. That's why I held your wrists a couple times when you fired a shot. You looked straight ahead and still missed by almost 2 centimetres," she said. He blinked in mild surprise and a smirk found its way to his lips.

"Looks like you are learning a thing or two about observation," he said.

"That's all I've learned so far, really; despite your attention to detail, you still miss the target by a small margin due to astigmatism," Alexa sighed.

"So much for my promising career in espionage," Q said dryly. "Are you quite done now?"

"Yeah. Much better," she said as she pulled her hands away from his tie. Alexa took a seat at the desk and began to brush her hair as Q rummaged around in his suitcase. She stopped as he came back, and she looked up.

"I have something for you," he said, with a smirk on his lips.

"Go on then, I'm interested," Alexa said, placing her hand on the base of her chin. He pulled out a small red box from behind him and handed it to her. She stared at it curiously before opening it to find a pair of diamond flower earrings.

"Thank you, Q! They're lovely," she said, giving him a smile. "Is there an occasion I missed?"

"In a way, yes. I was supposed to give it to you almost a year ago, but I was never able to since you jumped in front of a train," he said, giving her a meaningful glance. "In the meantime, consider this a belated Christmas present."

"But I am here now, and I'm here to stay," she said cheerfully. "Thank you for this, though. It's sweet of you to make me something."

"You made me something for my Christmas present. I'm merely returning the favour," he said.

"Well, show me how they work, then. They're from you, so these earrings must be anything but ordinary," she said. He bent down slightly and opened the box to let her examine the earrings.

"The earring itself is actually a device. The diamond at the centre has a built in access point, which I can use to communicate with you. At the back of the two bottom petals is a microphone that picks up noise from a range of 0.5 to 7 feet. I cut holes in the facets and covered it in a backing similar to that used in faux diamond jewellry," he said.

"The top third petal in the flower has a small, clear wire and this adhesive metal circle. You simply stick it near the outside of your inner ear to listen to what I tell you, as the sound reverberates to you. It's angled inward for optimum sound, and the same concept applies to the other earring," he continued.

"How you managed to figure out the idea of making these is beyond me," she said, shaking her head.

"But thank you, really! I love them. You really are a genius," she continued, kissing him on the cheek. "Any particular reason you chose this for me?"

"You have a tendency to ignore everything else around you when you work on something. This was my way of combatting that," he said as he swiped a pair of keys off the table. She slipped the diamonds on her ears and pushed in the plush red chair.

"They'll certainly be useful, no matter what mission I face," she said as she pulled her coat on.

"That wasn't the device's original intention, but it certainly will be useful for other missions," he shrugged. Alexa grabbed her purse and the bag containing the outfit before heading towards him once more.

"I'm off. See you later," she said, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

"Bye. Good luck," he said, smiling softly at her.

"Good luck to you too," she said as she gave his hand a small squeeze before walking out into the hallway.

* * *

Q sat quietly for a moment before he recollected his thoughts and rose to his feet. He checked the room briefly and made the necessary precautions to ensure that he would be the last to enter and leave the room. Q turned his phone on and input a few lines of code to activate the packet he had implemented into the security system the day before, in order to cover up his tracks on the camera system. The clock next to him ticked loudly as he glanced over at it, and he grabbed a sleeping pill out of his backpack and crushed it with his hands into powder. Q glanced back briefly before he slipped the bag up his right sleeve and listened as the door shut softly behind him as he left.

Q looked down the hallway and proceeded to the end of the corridor towards the housekeeping supply room. Since the plan they had devised was rather spur of the moment, he hadn't had the time to copy the master key card that all of the housekeeping staff kept. This time, he would actually have to do a bit of legwork to get it. He merely sighed at this thought before walking into the supply room. A younger woman looked up at him with a curious gleam in her blue eyes. "May I help you?" she asked while she stowed two towels into the empty rack behind her.

As she spoke, he examined her appearance carefully to determine the location of her key card. Her front pockets were empty; so was the pocket at her shirt. The cart was empty, save for a trash bag and a box of toiletries. He fought off a confused look and his face morphed back into its usual, passive expression.

"I need a few towels, actually. Four will do," he said casually as he put his hands in his pockets. She nodded and quickly turned around to grab the two towels she had set on the rack. He immediately spotted her key card in the back pocket of her jeans and watched as she reached up for the towels on the top shelf.

"Let me help you with that," he said as he approached her. As he reached up for the towels, he glanced back down in her direction to get a good view of the card.

"Looks like you needed some help," he chuckled. She let out a laugh and shrugged.

"When you're a shorter woman, you need all the help you can get," she said. While she spoke, he gently pulled the card out of her pocket with his left hand and slipped it up his sleeve. She handed him the other towels and he thanked her before walking out of the supply room.

He smirked as he went back to the room to test her card. The light in the lock flashed green and he entered the room once more. Q tossed the towels at the bed and shoved the card into his breast pocket before checking his watch. It was nearly time to meet with Irene, so he walked out of the room once more and jogged down the marble stairs to the casino.

He looked around the bustling room and made his way to the bar at the corner of the room to grab two drinks. Q approached the bartender and set a hand on the counter. "I'll take a dry vodka martini—shaken, not stirred—and a scotch on the rocks," he said as he set a few euros on the table. As the bartender prepared his drinks, he scanned the room for any sign of Irene.

As he turned to the left, he caught a glimpse of two men sitting at the stools 10 metres from him. Q recognized their faces almost immediately and his eyes hardened. Swiftly, he pulled out his phone and connected to the signal that was wired into Alexa's earpieces.

"They're here," he said in a low tone as he pressed the phone against his ear.

"Sorry, who?" Alexa said, her voice crackling slightly over the speakers.

"Both associates are here early, taking a midday drink," he muttered. Q heard her let out a groan of frustration and let out a sigh of his own.

"Alright. We can improvise. Just find Irene and hope they don't see you," she said. He made a noise of affirmation and looked around the room once more.

After a few minutes, he squinted slightly at a slim, brunette figure who was walking down the marble steps. Her eyes were sharp, yet seemingly indifferent, like a military general heading off to meet opposing leaders. Her hands were still and she was unmoving. Her body hung parallel with the long straight lines of her forest green dress. From her facial features and air of confidence, Q immediately recognized Irene as the woman in green.

He smirked slightly before he took the drinks off the table. Q opened the bag in his sleeve and discreetly poured the contents into the martini. As the crushed pill dissolved, he stood up and headed towards Irene, who was standing near the wall.

"The Woman," he said as he came up behind her. "That's what he calls you, anyway."

She blinked for a moment before turning back to him. Irene lifted a brow before folding her arms across her chest. "He?" she said.

"My older brother. He refuses to call you by name, so I've noticed," he said. Q glanced over at her before extending out his hand. "Martini?"

She eyed him with a mix of curiosity and suspicion before taking the drink into her hands. "And to whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?" Irene said, with a tight and unforgiving smile on her lips.

"Call me Q," he explained. "Sherlock's my older brother."

Her eyes flickered with alarm and she fought to keep her composure. "And I thought two of you was bad," she said, taking a sip of her drink to get her courage up.

"Hmm. Seems to be the reaction I get from everyone," Q said dryly. He examined her carefully before tilting his head slightly to the left. "You must be wondering what I want."

"True. It can't be coincidence for you to find me like this. So, how did you find me here and why?" she said as she sat at an empty table with him.

"I followed the leads I had on you. Not much to go on, really, but I had a few sources keeping an eye on your whereabouts," he said.

"You must be like dear old Mycroft, then," she drawled, if not a bit tauntingly. "Eyes and ears everywhere."

"I'm not like him," he said instantaneously, his voice coming out much too sharp for his liking. Irene shot him an amused smirk, and his face morphed back into an expression of indifference before his eyes flickered to her.

"I came because of Sherlock," Q said. Irene's eyes flashed with interest and she took another swig of the martini.

"What about him?" she asked.

"Have you been keeping up with him at all?" he said.

"Not lately," Irene admitted. "I saw him in Sarajevo six or seven months ago. Other than that, we've led separate lives."

"You don't know anything about it, then," he said, shaking his head with mock bitterness. Q was improvising (as advised by Alexa) and deliberately gave off the impression that there was something wrong with his brother.

"Know about what?" Irene said, a hint of worry creeping into her eyes.

"Well," he began, his eyes cast low, "life is fragile and noncommittal. No one can cheat death; even geniuses have to face their end sometime."

There was a flash of fear across Irene's face and she stared at him for a moment. "He's not dead yet, is he?" she said.

"No, but he doesn't have much time left either," Q muttered. Her eyes were alight with genuine concern and she bit her lip.

"How much time?"

"A month, hopefully two. But I wouldn't count on anything more," he replied quietly, attempting to look sorrowful. "His headaches and vision are getting worse, and he's much weaker than I've ever seen him. It's to the point where he can't balance or walk any longer. Soon, I don't think I'll be talking to the same man ever again."

Irene was silent for a minute or two and she let out a sigh before taking a long drink. "A man like that, being knocked down by something so simple, something he can't do anything against," she said quietly. "Life truly is cruel."

"I know. He knows that too, which is why I was sent to find you," he said.

"Why me?" she said, not looking up.

"Because you're the one person who came close to beating him," Q replied. "You are no ordinary woman to him; you are The Woman. I've been with him long enough to know that his heart is small, dark, and viciously guarded, and you were the only one to break into it. That's why he wants to see you one last time before he goes."

"Pay my respects, is that right?" she asked.

"Something like that. He thought you might think of it like that," Q smiled wanly. Irene stared around the room for a moment, her head feeling heavy, before glancing back at him.

"I had business here, but my associates never came. When do you need me?" she said, finishing the martini.

"I was hoping to bring you back this afternoon to London, if that's alright," he said.

"I don't see why not. Nothing left for me to do here anyway," she muttered as she stood up. Her head throbbed suddenly, and she took no note of it, thinking of it as a side effect from the news Q told her about.

"Shall I meet you here again?" she asked.

"I would prefer to meet you near the main lobby. I've arranged for a car to bring us by the airport," he said.

"I'll see you, then," she said as she stood up and began to walk away. Q leant back in his chair, satisfied with his work, before he pulled out his phone to call Alexa.

"I'm finished. I need you back here as soon as possible," he said.

"Perfect. I'm on the outskirts of Monaco, and I switched the plates already," she said. "Did the associates cause any problems?"

"Not really. They're still at the bar over there. I don't believe they noticed Irene," he said.

"Good. That means this operation can run smoothly," she said, sighing in relief. "Where are you off to now?"

"The room. I can take a separate cab with our things to the airport," he said as he stood up.

"I'll wait in the lobby for Irene," Alexa said. "See you later, then?"

"Yes. If you need anything, just give me a ring. You press the middle of the earring and it sends me an alert on my phone," he said.

"Got it. See you soon," she said before the line disconnected.

* * *

Alexa threw the screwdriver in the trunk of the car and headed to the passenger doors. She flipped the child lock switches at the base of the door into the on position and climbed into the front seat of the car.

Alexa drove down the road and made her way back into Monaco, heading directly for the Hotel de Paris. She drove quickly down the winding roads, before finally arriving at the gilded gate of the hotel. At the gate, she showed her certification papers and was allowed to pass into the main entrance.

She parked the car at the curb and entered the lobby. The young woman stood at the front entrance inside the hotel and looked around for any sight of Irene. Alexa spotted her quickly as she descended from the stairs. She carried nothing, save for a black bag, and she wore a pair of sunglasses around her collar.

"Miss Adler?" Alexa called as she came towards the entrance. Irene stopped to peer at her curiously before setting her bag down.

"Yes?"

"I've been sent by Q to pick you up and bring you to the airport," she said. "May I take your things?"

"Certainly. Here, let me-" Irene began. They both bent down at the same time to pick up the bag. While Alexa picked up the bag, Zharkov and Azarov's associates walked into the lobby to head back up to their room. They stood momentarily as they waited to speak to the concierge and scanned the room. Irene stood up suddenly, knocking Alexa's hat to the floor. Alexa picked up the hat, thinking nothing of it, and suddenly heard a shout from across the lobby.

She looked up and stared as Zharkov and Azarov associates rushed towards her. Alexa swore loudly, knowing they had recognized her, and took Irene by the arm. They barely dodged two bullets fired at them before they got to the car.

Alexa more or less threw Irene and her things in the backseat before climbing into the car and speeding off. "What's going on?" Irene demanded. "Who are you?"

Alexa's brown hair tumbled out of the hat, and she ignored Irene's questions for the moment. She took a sharp turn into the thoroughfare and pressed the middle of her earring. "We have trouble," she said breathlessly as she swerved suddenly to avoid the oncoming hail of bullets. One bullet hit the back windshield, causing it to shatter sporadically across the backseat.

Irene let out a scream as she became covered in glass and tried to protect herself from the gunfire. Alexa glanced back briefly before grabbing the gun from the seat next to her. She heard Q swear loudly and rustling over the speakers. "I've got your location. There's a small street on your left; turn into it," he said.

Alexa followed his instructions and turned into the street, grateful that it was empty. She kept one hand on the wheel and swung her right hand behind her, firing at the car behind her through the broken windshield. Alexa glanced through the rearview mirror and saw that two of the shots hit the front of the car and one managed to break the windshield.

"Take a right. Quickly!" Q said firmly. The car veered to the right, making a tight turn into an upward street.

"Anything else you've got for me?" she said as she fired another shot at the car behind her. It missed the passengers, but broke the back windshield.

"Proceed up and double back to the main road. That's the best option I see," he said. She suddenly heard the click of a gun behind her, and her eyes flickered to the mirror to look at Irene.

"Stop this car, or I will fire," Irene hissed. Alexa let out a groan of frustration and glared at her through the rearview mirror.

"Irene, I really don't have time for this now!" Alexa shouted.

"Stop this at once! I demand to be released!" she said angrily. Alexa let out an irritated sigh and braked suddenly, causing Irene to fly forward against the passenger seat. She hit her body against the side of the car and slammed back into the seat behind her. The gun tumbled to the floor as Alexa turned the car 360 degrees. She sped off down the highway and scrambled to find some way that she could lose them.

"Q," Alexa said without warning.

"What?"

"I need the nearest intersection," she said.

"There's one fifty metres away. It crosses the road that leads directly to the A8. Head straight and you'll see it," he said. "Why do you ask?"

Alexa flinched as the windshield in front of her exploded upon colliding with a bullet, and shook off shards from her arm. "Any cars heading to the intersection?" she said.

"Cars and a construction truck will come from the main road. They'll arrive at the same time you do," he said.

"Perfect," Alexa muttered. She slammed her foot against the gas pedal and watched as the numbers began to climb rapidly. Alexa fought to stay in control of her car while firing at the men behind her.

"Alexa, you aren't going to cross that intersection, are you?" Q began.

"I am," she said gravely.

"There's no guarantee you'll make it!" he exclaimed.

"If I go fast enough, I might make it," she replied as she approached the traffic light

"Alexa-" he began.

"I'm getting closer," she said, interrupting him. "Wish me luck."

The engine revved audibly as she flew past the red light, the car a streak of black against the dull, muted buildings. She caught a brief glimpse of white construction truck barreling down the street towards her. The truck itself was about 4 seconds away from her, so if she had not been going that quickly, it would have hit her dead on.

Alexa heard a loud crash from behind her and stopped the car suddenly to watch as the construction truck hit the other car. The construction truck was larger, and it had hit the car with the force of a brick hitting a bare wall. She moved slightly to see that the car had been knocked across the pavement like a hockey puck and had hit the side of a building on the driver's side.

Alexa looked at the bloodied faces of Zharkov and Azarov's associates and knew that this was the end for them. She let out a sigh and began to drive up and out of Monaco. "I made it," Alexa said as she took a turn into an uphill road.

Q let out an audible sigh of relief as she spoke. "Well, then," he said. "I'll certainly scold you for that later, but for now, follow that road. It should lead you on a ramp towards the airport. I'll meet you at hangar four, terminal A."

"Got it. I'll see you soon," she said, making her way into the highway. Her eyes drifted to the backseat and saw Irene's eyes drifting shut every now and then.

"Sleepy?" she said, sounding amused. Irene's head felt heavy for some reason unknown to her, and she fought back a yawn.

"What did you do to me?" she groaned.

"He drugged you, and I brought you," Alexa said. "Simple as that."

When Irene did not respond, Alexa took a look in her rearview mirror and saw that the woman had collapsed against the seat. She headed past the drop off areas at the airport and showed the guards at the gate her passport and papers. They allowed her to drive through to hangar four at terminal A, where a small white jet waited for her.

Q waited for her outside the plane with a displeased expression on his face. Alexa made no attempt to lift Irene and opened the trunk for the other men to retrieve their things. She watched as the men placed Irene into a seat and surrounded her, all of them armed and ready. "I don't even know where to begin scolding you," Q said dryly as he followed her into the seating area.

"You said it yourself, love. Ends justify the means," Alexa shrugged as she took her seat.

"You could at least be a little more careful," he muttered, a petulant frown on his lips. "I thought for a moment that I was going to lose you."

"I'm sorry for worrying you," she said gently, giving his hand a soft squeeze. Q sighed in response but kissed her on the cheek.

"I'm just glad you're safe. Don't be so reckless," he grumbled as he leant against her.

"Death is always an occupational hazard in this job, but I'll try to diminish it as much as I can," Alexa said, comfortably nestling herself in his grasp. She was quiet for a moment before glancing up at him again.

"Nice work out there. I never knew you had it in you," she said as she smiled at him. "How did you bait Irene?"

"Simple. I lied to The Woman herself," he said nonchalantly.

"What did you tell her?" Alexa asked, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"I told her Sherlock had a brain tumor and had two months to live," Q smirked. Alexa's mouth became slightly agape and she stared at him.

"No way! You went that far?" she said incredulously.

"She believes every word of it. It's interesting when you mention fatal illnesses to people, because they usually drop everything to believe you," he said, sounding amused.

"That was a devious thing to do, playing with her heart like that," Alexa chuckled. "You've been wicked, love."

He smirked at her and leant in, his lips brushing gently against the side of her cheek. "Wicked? Oh, come now. You know that the ends justify the means," he chuckled.

"Telling someone that your older brother is going to die from a brain tumor is certainly wicked," she said playfully.

"What are you going to do, punish me for it?" Q challenged.

"I could," Alexa smirked, tracing her fingers lightly against his cheek. "Now, what's to be done about that?"

"I don't know, but it doesn't sound particularly threatening from your implications. Almost sounds...enjoyable," Q chuckled softly.

She stole a quick kiss in response and smiled at him, resting her head against his shoulder. "We'll have to wait and see, won't we?" she said.

He let out a quiet hum in response that was quickly drowned out by the engines of the plane. She felt his grip around her waist tighten slightly and looked up at him with amused eyes. "You really do hate planes," she chuckled.

"Did you think I was joking?" he said, looking confused.

"I never can tell with you. This was just proof of it," she said as she stared forward. He let out a long sigh and tapped his fingers impatiently against the armrest, not saying a word during the entire takeoff process. The plane advanced down the runway faster and faster, and his grip around her hands began turning his knuckles white. She squeezed his hand in response and sat up slightly.

"Hey, just relax. It's not all bad," she said. He released his grip from her hand and let out a sigh.

"Sorry. It's bloody ridiculous, really, to be afraid of planes," he muttered.

"It's a common fear. Everyone has one. You just have to find a way to distract yourself from it," she said. "I could just stay here like this, if it helps any."

"Unless you want me gripping your hand like that for the whole flight, I would suggest you find a better alternative," he said. She rummaged around her purse before pulling out a bottle of pills.

"Here. Take these and sleep," she said. "It should help."

"Why do you have these?" Q said, his brow furrowing.

"You know what happens if I don't sleep next to you or take these, don't you?" Alexa said, raising an eyebrow.

"That's right," he said, before popping two pills in his mouth.

"I suppose I'm the only thing that can make or break your sleep pattern, is that right?" Q chuckled. She caught the meaning of his double entendre and merely laughed in amusement.

"Just shut up and sleep already," she said rolling her eyes playfully.

"If you say so," he said before resting his head down and pulling her close to him. Q closed his eyes, hearing nothing but the rhythmic beating of the plane engine and the soft breathing of Alexa in his arms. He felt the plane lurch upward and attempted to relax himself for the events that lay ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! I have a surprise in the next chapter, so I'll have that up as soon as I can. (Hint: it involves Q's past life :D)
> 
> If you'd like to leave a review, please do so!


	32. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I finally finished this chapter and as promised, put in a surprise. Someone from Q's past will show up in this chapter!
> 
> Anyway, I won't say much more than that. Enjoy!

 

_We are more often frightened than hurt; we suffer more from imagination than reality._

_**-Lucius Annaeus Seneca** _

* * *

Upon arriving in London at one o'clock, the couple found themselves back at the MI6 headquarters. As Q made arrangements for other agents in different missions, Alexa stood in the isolation room with Irene. The room was small, with soundproofed white walls and seemingly no door leading anywhere else, save for the door to the bathroom. Irene had been stripped of her electronics and all that remained was her, her clothes, the bathroom, and the bright white light that filled the room

"What do you want?" Irene snapped. She had enough of dealing with government men today and wanted to leave as soon as she could.

"I want whatever you can tell me about Zharkov and Azarov's whereabouts," she said simply.

"I don't see any reason why I should tell you anything. Honestly, I expected to be treated better, especially by civilized Brits like the MI6," Irene said crisply.

"Sorry to disappoint," Alexa said, looking nonplussed. "Give me the information."

"I won't give it to a jackbooted thug like you," Irene said.

"Look, Irene," Alexa sighed. "The sooner you tell me, the sooner you can take care of your affairs. I know you have better things to head off to."

"How would you know? You don't know anything about me," she hissed.

"Don't I? You've been tapping your fingers on and off for the past 10 minutes, each at regular intervals. Your eyes keeping darting around, but you're not scared of us. You've been in trouble like this many times now, and you're a seasoned champion at dealing with government agencies. So why the impatience? Sherlock, of course, must be on your mind, hence the eagerness to leave," Alexa said dryly. Irene gave her a long look and let out a sigh.

"Bloody hell, you've picked up deductions," she sighed.

"It's a behaviour that rubs off on you," she smiled. Alexa folded her arms in front of her chest and looked up.

"Irene, listen. I know you want to see Sherlock as soon as possible, and I can let that happen. I just need information on where Zharkov and Azarov currently are and their future plans. That's it, and I'll let you see him," she said.

"What do you know?"

"I know enough," Alexa said softly, deciding to go about the situation from a different angle. "You're solitary, for the most part. Keeping emotional attachments is unprofessional, and leads to nothing but heartbreak. Yet, you've taken a chance with one man who has managed to beat you in all aspects. You'll do whatever you can for his safety."

Irene could not fight the shock out of her eyes and she pointedly stared at Alexa. "How did you..." she said, looking surprised.

"I knew all of that because you're like me. I've been purposely conditioned to be solitary from years of being in this job, but I've taken a chance on the one man who's beaten me," Alexa chuckled. Irene's eyes narrowed and she folded her arms across her chest.

"So, what are you inquiring about?" she said warily.

"I just need you to tell me where Grigori Azarov and Mihael Zharkov are and where they will be," Alexa said.

"And that's it?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's it," Alexa said.

"Why should I tell you?" she said.

"You want to leave this place as much as I do. To do that, you need to tell me where they are," Alexa said casually. Irene glared at her venomously and shook her head.

"You can't make me talk. Nothing you say will change my mind," she challenged. Alexa merely shrugged and turned around.

"Your choice," she said casually. The door opened and she quickly exited, leaving Irene alone in the room. Alexa watched from the monitors outside and let out a sigh.

"Damn. I was hoping that she wouldn't be so difficult," she sighed as she put a hand on Q's shoulder. He watched the monitors for a moment and turned to her.

"I half expected her to be, though. She does seem to have that type of demeanour," he said. "What's the plan?"

"We'll leave her. No human contact; just her. See how long she lasts," Alexa said before walking away, leaving Adler in distant silence.

* * *

She lasted five days before finally bursting at the seams.

After Alexa had left, Irene sat alone in the room. The minutes ticked by and anxiety crept into her system, taking over every inch of her thoughts. Her mind was jumbled, and she could not discern what the time or day it was, though it had not been that long. and thoughts that seemed trivial (like her plan of somehow escaping) were overshadowed by worry over a variety of matters.

Every so often, she would explore her cell to look for an escape route but there really was nothing else. That was it. She had picked up the routine fairly quickly: awake on the hard floor, take a shower. eat, and be left alone in the silence. She hadn't seen a human presence since Alexa had left and listlessly followed her routine. She felt empty as she ate the tasteless meals that always seemed to appear next to the wall while she took a shower. By now, Irene had lost the hope of escaping, because she knew that she was truly alone.

In turn, she could only sit and watch in a state of wretched inactivity. During the first two days, Irene spent much of her time contemplating what to say in the event of an interrogation. However, as the days progressed, she slowly began to lose her sense of time and reality (and in turn, sanity).

Irene had tried to keep her head, but she felt herself slowly losing her composure due to worry and impatience. She was trained not to crack under pressure, but this was different. There was no negotiation, no opportunity to be clever. This was a purely mental game, and it seemed that she was not as strong as she appeared to be. Given the small environment and prolonged absence of human interaction, she felt herself slipping. Man truly was a social animal, and to be isolated was almost maddening.

She let out a deep breath and turned to one wall. Without an ounce of hesitance in her heart, she began to speak for the first time in almost four days. "Stop this. This is madness," she said, flinching at the sound of her own voice. She had heard nothing but silence while she was here and the sound shocked her to some extent, given that her voice sounded hoarse and weary. Irene paused for a moment and cleared her throat before speaking again.

"Please. Just let me out," Irene said wearily.

She did not know who she was addressing but she honestly found herself not caring about who would respond. Irene was met with a frustrating silence, one that lasted for what felt like an hour (but was, in reality, a mere fifteen minutes). It seemed as if no one was willing to hear her or acknowledge her response and in turn, she felt anger rising into her chest.

"I'm willing to talk. It doesn't have to be this way," she said in a more forceful tone. She waited for a few more minutes and was again, met by the same frustrating silence. By this point, Irene was angry now and she glared at the wall.

"I know you're there. I know you're watching. Someone say something, anything," she snapped. Nothing happened once more and as she sat there in the clothes she had been provided with, she felt a suddenly influx of anger that seemed to arise from thin air and sprung up, stepping onto the cold, concrete floors. Her last ounce of patience had snapped like a tightly coiled string and she was tired of waiting and worrying. She needed to hear something other than her own thoughts, to help her cling to the last ounce of sanity she had left. In a sense, the room almost seemed too loud now, as her own thoughts rang out in a stinging cacophony and she clenched her hands into fists.

"For God's sake, speak to me!" she screamed. The scream echoed in the tiny room and she felt her knees buckle from under her. Irene collapsed against the cold floors and unsurprisingly, she was met once more with a deafening silence. No one was willing to speak to her anymore and all she could be able to do now was to sit and wait.

Irene looked hopelessly at the wall, examining each brick and finally glanced up when the door opened behind her. Alexa walked in, carrying nothing in her hands. She took a seat in the middle of the floor across from her, all while observing her ever so carefully.

"You called?" Alexa said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Zharkov and Azarov were going to meet in Buenos Aires, on December 14th. I was going to go, but I declined last minute," she confessed.

"That's tomorrow," Alexa said, looking startled. "Where are they going to meet?"

"They're going to meet at terminal seven in the Puerto de Buenos Aires. What time, I can't recall when exactly. I know it was around 9-10 PM, but they'll definitely be there," Irene said. She watched Alexa's reaction and leant forward.

"I upheld my portion of the deal. I've told you everything that I know of the meeting. That was the deal," Irene said.

"I understand that," Alexa said softly. "It wouldn't be right to violate our deal."

"So what happens to me?" she said.

"I know I told you that you would be able to see Sherlock, and I intend to honour that," Alexa said.

"So, I am allowed to go. But, how do you know I won't talk as soon as I leave?" Irene said, narrowing her eyes. Alexa turned around as she put her hand on the door and merely smiled.

"I don't know," she said. Irene's eyes darkened and she glared at her.

"You aren't letting me go, are you?" she said.

"I never said you could go anywhere. All I said was, and I quote: I just need information on where Zharkov and Azarov currently are and their future plans. That's it, and I'll let you see him," Alexa said. Irene's heart sank and she glared at Alexa.

"You can't keep me isolated like this! This is madness!" she exclaimed.

"I'm not going to isolate you anymore. Silence like this is maddening, and even I know not to keep you like that," Alexa said. "You will be transferring cells, and be allowed more freedoms than those available to you in solitary confinement."

"And when can I get out of this building altogether?"

"Soon," Alexa said vaguely. She watched Irene for a moment before standing up.

"Again, thank you kindly," Alexa said primly as she made to leave. "I'll make arrangements for your transfer."

She ignored Irene's frustrated shout from the room and headed back towards the Q-Branch. Alexa pulled out her phone and quickly called Q. "Hey, I'm done talking with her," she said as she hustled up a flight of stairs.

"What did you get?"

"She said they were meeting in Buenos Aires at terminal seven in the Puerto de Buenos Aires. Irene was supposed to go, but she declined last minute," Alexa said as she narrowly avoided a mail cart. "I can't tell if she's lying, though."

For a few moments, she heard the distinct sounds of typing over the speaker. "I can look for correspondences between Adler, Zharkov, and Azarov. Maybe she could be telling the truth, but I have to make sure that none of the information was planted."

"So you're saying this could be a setup," Alexa said. "But how would she have known anything about me?"

"Zharkov and Azarov may have told her something," he said. "I can't ignore that fact simply because she's tricky."

"What do we do, then?" Alexa said.

"I'll be cross examining the data I can get from her phone to make sure that she didn't lie. For now, you have to wait until I can clear you to go," he said.

"Alright," Alexa said. "In the meantime, I'll train with James. Call me if you find anything."

"Will do. See you later," he said, before she heard a click on the speakers.

* * *

Q set his phone down and began working on Adler's phone. The modifications she had made to give the phone a detonating function were unusual, but the system was not. He had dealt with worse, and in a timespan of one hour, he had fully decrypted every file on the phone.

Q transferred a backup copy of the files onto an unused hard drive, and he began searching for anything that could confirm Adler's statement. He pored over archived text conversations, but nothing specifically referred to the supposed meeting in Buenos Aires. Q pulled up a screen of different files and gave each a cursory glance before deeming it useful or irrelevant.

His eyes scanned over her text messages for anything that could help his case, but there was nothing explicitly confirming the meeting. Q's eyes narrowed in concentration, and he mentally began finding other angles he could work around. The gears in his brain worked away as he recalled his conversation with Alexa. What angles did he have to work around this issue? The meeting was in the warehouses, but Adler declined-

Ah.

That's something useful, Q thought quietly to himself. Adler declined somehow; if he found a copy of it, he could trace the device used by Zharkov and Azarov and track their whereabouts. Text was not an option anymore; he had reviewed all of them and found nothing. Emails were quicker to check, so he accessed her inbox and began to look for any emails of Irene declining towards anything.

The search was rather boring, but he found a few recent emails containing possible information. The emails were sent to the same address, so it was down to one suspect. Q found a copy of the phone's packet histories list and stripped the headers on the packet's frame to track the destination address. After acquiring the IP Address of the destination device through a series of DNS Servers, he used a reverse lookup to find the host name and recursion to ensure that there were no errors.

He smirked as he began following the traces left by the devices. They were somewhat sporadic, but Q found that the signals led out of the country. As he typed madly on his computer, he zoomed in to find that the destination address. It, to his surprise, appeared that Adler had not lied after all. He had traced the signal into Buenos Aires. Q quickly zeroed into the precise location of the signals and located them in a small hotel.

"Would you look at that? She wasn't kidding," Q muttered. He dialed Alexa's phone number and waited for her to pick up.

"What is it?" Alexa said, upon picking up the phone.

"I found them. Adler wasn't lying after all," he said.

"Thank god," she sighed in relief. "That means I need to leave as soon as I can, though. Can you prepare my mission files?"

"Of course," Q said. "How soon would you like to leave?"

"Well, I'm almost done training with James. I'll be finished in about thirty minutes. I have my suitcase sitting at home, so I can just head off after I grab my things from you," she said.

"Sounds good. I'll see you later, then," he said.

"See you. Thank you," Alexa said before hanging up. Q stared up at the screen briefly and merely shrugged, before beginning to work on preparing the mission. Within minutes, he requested for a flight to Buenos Aires on a commercial airline and booked a hotel for Alexa to stay in. It took him roughly twenty minutes to prepare all of her mission logistics, and he put them in a briefcase on the table before he moved onto her weapons. As he reloaded her gun, he heard the door open behind him and continued to work, merely assuming that it wasn't important. Everyone else turned to look and instantly, chatter lit up the room.

"Finally come back to visit have you?" Joy said, grinning at the figure that walked through the door.

"You bet! I kinda miss this place, you know," the voice said. Q stiffened immediately upon hearing it, but turned around with a cool expression on his face. He glanced over at the blonde-haired woman and looked into her glass green eyes.

"Ah, Kate. It has been far too long," he said.

"Hi, Q," she said somewhat shyly. Kate did not know what to say to him, especially once she considered what had happened before she left. She ignored those thoughts and held out her hand. "It's good to see you. You look well."

"As do you," he said, politely shaking her hand. Q paused for a moment, before letting go of her hand. "What brings to you London?"

A small smile crept onto her lips upon realizing that Q was still the same man she had known and had loved. He was still straight to the point, but just a little more polite than she recalled. "I wanted to give these out myself," she said, passing out envelopes around the room. Upon passing them out, she was bombarded with the usual well wishes of congratulations, which she gratefully took. and within seconds, the room was filled with excited chatter. She stood there with a smile plastered to her face, answering everyone's questions. Soon, the chatter died down and she handed one to Q, and he glanced at the ivory envelope.

"What's this?" he asked.

"I'm getting married," she said softly. Kate watched carefully for his reaction, but was surprised (and somewhat dismayed) to find none.

"Congratulations," he said politely. "I wish you and your fiancé all the best."

Kate stared at him with evident disappointment in her eyes, and she let out a sigh. "Q," she said. "Don't be like this."

"Like what?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"You know what I'm talking about," she said with a roll of her eyes. "You're being strangely polite. That's not the same man I remember. I remember you as a blunt, sarcastic, yet caring man who loved his job more than anyone else."

"I remembered thinking of you as a vivacious and bright woman whom I truly trusted. I thought I had a chance of being with you for the rest of my life back then. I was even going to make that happen, but that was before the incident occurred," he said, his voice hardening.

"Q, please. I was never going to betray you," she sighed.

"It didn't seem like that," he said, looking unfazed. Kate bit her lip, looking stressed, before letting out a sigh.

"Look, that's why I came here. I wanted to reconcile with you once and for all," she said. "I was never able to tell you what happened after you fired me."

"Explain, then," Q said.

"I never betrayed you. I ended up as a security analyst at Norton," she said. "They offered that same position to me three times, but I refused."

Q's expression softened slightly, and he nodded quietly. "Good to hear. I'm glad you're doing well," he said, slipping back into his polite demeanour.

"I'm sorry, Q," she said softly, so that he was the only one who could hear. "We left on the wrong foot, but you understand what happened afterwards now."

He glanced at her for a moment before deciding to utter a rare apology. "I suppose I must apologize as well, especially for treating you with such hostility," he said quietly. "I didn't see the full scope of the circumstances, and I have been blinded by anger all these years."

"I hope, then," she said, touching the envelope gingerly,"that this makes things right between us."

"It will," Q said, placing his hands in his pockets. "Congratulations to you and your fiancé. I wish you both the best of luck."

"No hard feelings?" Kate said hesitantly.

"No," he said, allowing himself to smile at her slightly.

"Thank you, Q," she said softly. Kate looked like she wanted to say something for a moment, but found that no words escaped her lips. Without warning, she put her hand on his cheek and kissed him, to show that she was letting go of the times long past.

Q did not object, knowing what she had meant in kissing him. This was their final goodbye, and it would be wrong to ruin it for her. He placed his right hand on her waist and allowed himself to give her a chance. The door opened midway through the kiss and soft footsteps entered the room. "Q, do you have my things ready-" Alexa said as she walked in, glancing briefly at her phone screen. She looked up as she walked in and stopped mid-sentence as she saw the sight before her.

Q pulled away hastily and stared at Alexa in shock. "A-Alexa," he stuttered, looking surprised.

Her eyes were wide, and she was speechless as she attempted to process what she had walked in on. Alexa felt pain seize her heart, and her chest felt tight. Who was she? Was there someone else that he loved?

Was Q's love really hers to keep?

Everyone saw her expression change from one of shock to one of pure, unadulterated hurt. Kate stared at Alexa in confusion, wondering what exactly was happening. Next to her, Q hesitated for a moment, wondering what he had to say for his defense. Ultimately, he found nothing and was left tongue-tied.

"Oh," she said said shakily. Alexa's expression quickly changed, and she attempted to mask her pain by appearing unaffected.

"N-never mind. I'll just grab my things for the mission," she stuttered, heading over to the table.

"Alexa, this was just-" Q began.

"It's nothing. I just walked in at the wrong time, obviously. Timing never was my forte anyway," Alexa replied, giving him a tight and mirthless smile. She grabbed the suitcase without a second glance at Q and swiftly began walking towards the door.

"Alexandra, listen to me-" Q said, grabbing her by the wrist. She broke his grip with considerable force and refused to look at him.

"No, it's fine. I can see that you're busy; I won't bother you," she said, advancing towards the door. Her voice wavered slightly and she fought back the tears that sprung to her eyes.

"I'll see you later," Alexa said as she turned to face him. Before Q could protest, she turned unexpectedly and sprinted down the hall.

As soon as she left the Q-Branch, tears fell down her cheeks and she let out a choked sob. She dashed up the stairs, afraid that he would catch her, and brushed the tears out of her eyes. Alexa turned into the hallway and walked out the main entrance, towards the waiting car at the front.

"18 Hanson Street. Quickly!" she said, her voice sounding strained. The car sped off down the street and she leant back, afraid of what would happen next. She felt anger in her heart as she recalled the incident, and did not want anything to do with Q for the time being. Alexa heard her phone buzz in her purse and saw that it was Q. Alexa decidedly turned off the phone and tossed it back in her bag.

Upon arriving at the house, she came in without a second thought. She grabbed a small backpack out of the closet and packed a few pistols, some clothes, and a few personal items before heading downstairs. In a moment of clarity, she knew that Q would most likely attempt to delay her and speak to her. A confrontation was what she wanted to avoid because she knew that she was much too emotionally compromised at the moment to deal with him. That meant that she couldn't take a commercial flight out to Buenos Aires. She let out a sigh and quickly borrowed the driver's phone to dial Mycroft's number.

"What is it, Q?" Mycroft said, sounding neither irritated nor pleased.

"It's actually Alexa," she said.

"Oh," Mycroft said, sounding surprised. "Did you need something, Alexa?"

"Actually, yes. I need your help. I'm set to board a plane later this afternoon to Buenos Aires, but I know that they'll try to re-route me back to London or delay me, just for a little while," she said.

"Who is they?"

"There isn't much time to explain, Mycroft. Do you have a plane to spare?"

"I can arrange it to leave as soon as possible," he said. "Clandestine job in Buenos Aires?"

"Yes. It's of the utmost importance. I have to leave the country without anyone's knowledge, just for one day," she said. She heard the distinct sounds of typing across the speaker and he let out a sigh.

"Done. It leaves in thirty minutes from hangar three. When you arrive, there will be a car waiting that you can use. The plane leaves Buenos Aires whenever you're ready," he said.

"Thank you, Mycroft. I'm lucky that you're helping me," she said, breathing out a sigh.

"I suppose I'm helping you disappear again, though. You'd better come back, though," Mycroft muttered. "Q would be terribly cross with you if you didn't."

"I intend to come back," she said absentmindedly. She snapped back to attention and thanked Mycroft once more before hanging up.

Alexa put the phone down and advanced outside to head towards the airport. The car weaved in and out of traffic as Alexa sat silently in the back seat. The driver finally turned on the siren above the car and speeded past cars, bringing her towards the airport.

Upon arrival at hangar three, Alexa exited the car and headed into the waiting plane. She stowed her bag onto the overhead compartment. Alexa dared not to turn on her phone and leant back in the seat, attempting to clear her mind.

The plane took off with a start and quickly rushed into the sky. She stared out of the window with passing interest in her eyes. Alexa let out a sigh and found herself thinking more and more about what she had seen Q do with that woman. Who was she, and why did he kiss her? How long had she been in Q's life?

More importantly, how long had Q deceived her?

She forced herself to push aside these thoughts and think about the mission. Without a clear focus on her goal of killing Zharkov and Azarov, she would likely die. Alexa had to concentrate; there was no other option but that. She knew that the stakes were higher now, as Zharkov and Azarov ran a crime syndicate. They would undoubtedly have more men with them, thus making them harder to kill. Though the danger was high, the payoff was even higher. Once they were dead, she could easily track Pavlenko.

And so, her heart was set. Alexa leant her head against the seat and closed her eyes. She mentally took her pain and turned it into one-track minded conviction. Alexa would make Zharkov and Azarov confess information about Pavlenko, one way or another. They were, after all, the main leaders who started Operation Chetiri. Alexa was merely there to ensure that she brought them what they deserved.

She was the monster they created, and she was finally coming for her creators.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the drama ensues! What will happen on the mission? Will they reconcile? And what really happened between Kate and Q? Find out in the next installment of Agent Chetiri!


	33. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Here's the new update. You get copious amounts of Badass Alexa in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy that.
> 
> On another note, we're (kind of) close to 1500 reads! If we can make it to 1500 reads, I'll add in a surprise present for all of you to enjoy. I'll add a hint for what it is in the next chapter. So, please continue to read and watch for the hint as well!

_I tell myself, as sternly as possible, that this is how things work here. We do dangerous things and people die. People die and we move on to the next dangerous thing. The sooner that lesson sinks in, the better chance I have at surviving that situation._

_**-Veronica Roth** _

* * *

Alexa woke with a start as the plane landed in Buenos Aires at eight o'clock that evening. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and stared out at the darkened landscape. As she stretched, she wondered what her plan of action would be and decided that she would head to a different hotel than the one that was booked for her. She wanted to avoid the MI6's presence at all costs to focus on the mission.

Her limbs felt sluggish as she took her bag out of the compartment and exited the plane. It was approximately midnight in London time, but it was only eight PM in Argentina. In turn, she felt wobbly, tense, and fatigued. The flight attendant handed her a paper to let herself back in on the flight back and explained that they would be waiting around Buenos Aires until she was ready. She exited the plane with her luggage and was led down to an empty, rather average car by the flight attendant.

She leant her head against the side of the car and looked around at her surroundings. Alexa blinked slightly and drove through the hangar's gates, ready to find some place for her to stay a night. She sped down the Autopista Illia, before taking the ramp into the residential areas near the docks.

After driving up and down the darkened streets for nearly an hour, she finally found a small, locally owned hotel called La Villa del Mar. Her eyes brightened at the sight of it and she parked the car at their small parking lot. It blended well with the other cars, which were also rather average and beat up.

She grabbed her things and headed into the hotel, which was brightly lit. "Yo hablo inglés," Alexa said, using her rudimentary knowledge of Spanish. The older woman at the receptionist's desk blinked at her explanation and immediately nodded.

"Sí, sí. Un momento," she said, waving her hands as she stood up and headed to the back office. "Oy, Maria! Esta mujer no habla español."

Shortly afterwards, Alexa saw a woman about her age emerge from the room. "Can I help you?" she said, looking curiously at Alexa.

"I'd like to stay for a night," she explained. The woman nodded and opened the leather book on the desk.

"431 pesos for Room 8, please," she said. Alexa looked into her suitcase and found two stacks of Argentina Pesos. She handed the woman the stated amount and took the key for the room. Alexa thanked her and made her way up the flight of stairs.

She walked into the room and looked at it for a moment before crashing onto the bed. Alexa felt strained, both emotionally and physically. She had tried to keep Q out of her mind for as long as possible, but in the silence of the night, she could not escape thoughts about him. Her heart twisted painfully upon thinking about what she had walked in on and wondered, why hadn't anyone said anything? Couldn't someone from the Q-Branch have told her?

No, she thought to herself. This had to be a surprise visit. It was common sense for a mistress not to meet her lover at work. Even Q couldn't have fallen in love with someone that stupid; she could give him that much credit, at least. Aside from that fact, if Q met her at work, she would know. Alexa went to work with him each day, after all. Everyone else from the office kept her updated when she was away. But if Q didn't meet her at the office, when did he meet her?

Alexa wasn't away too often, but she recalled that he liked staying late at the office. She went home earlier than him to unwind and prepare for the next day. Maybe that's when he met her, she thought to herself. It was the only feasible option, and it seemed entirely possible. She wondered how long she had been duped and fought back bitter tears.

They fell down her cheek, one by one, before streaming onto the blanket below her. For the first time since she had seen him kissing the other woman, she broke down into full-scale tears. Her chest heaved with sobs as she clutched at her knees. Alexa hugged her knees tighter as she thought of their last date in Monaco. He had loved her then, hadn't he? That was what she had presumed, at least. She had been so sure, especially when he took her out that night and what happened afterwards.

Now that she considered it, they had been dating for a month and sixteen days, but he never usually told her he loved her. He had only said it occasionally, and he left it to be implied. Never outright stated; just subtly implied. That's his style. Leave a girl hanging onto his every word, just to hear an, "I love you", Alexa thought bitterly. She felt a pang of guilt strike her as she wondered if she was being petty for thinking such thoughts. To some extent, she felt petty, and it left a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Alexa let out a sigh and rolled out of the bed, before decidedly unpacking. She tossed a bag of toiletries and a pair of pyjamas on the bed before heading into the bathroom to shower. As the cool water ran across her skin, she found herself wondering if she had meant anything to him in the first place. He was always a cryptic man, and she could never place exactly what he thought of something.

Was his love ever hers to keep in the first place?

He had said that he loved her, but how did she know that he was being genuine about his feelings? As she looked back on it now, she had always just figured that he truly did love her. She mentally scolded herself for being foolishly gullible for several moments and went for a long period of time just thinking about various things. After a while, she wordlessly turned off the faucet and put on her clothes. It was much too late to be thinking these thoughts. Besides, she had to focus on the mission at hand tomorrow. It would undoubtedly be harder than the previous missions, given the breadth of Zharkov and Azarov's connections. More men equaled more trouble, a concept she did not particularly enjoy. On top of that, there was now an affair that served to raise her stress levels. She decidedly reminded herself to use this anger towards Q and displace it towards Zharkov and Azarov. It would put her back on track and give her a new edge on the battlefield.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," she muttered to herself before shutting her eyes and going to sleep.

* * *

**_(December 14, 2013- 8:19 AM)_ **

Alexa shot up out of bed, letting out a cry of terror. She had dreamt of Varenka again, but mostly of her parents' death. The dream left her cold, despite the early morning heat in the air. She shivered slightly and rose out of bed, glancing over at the scene outside. It was quiet, and she heard the soft sound of the waves in the distance. She stood at the balcony for a moment, gazing out at the less than picturesque view of the docks in the distance, before decidedly turning around to get ready for the day.

An hour later, she hustled down the stairs and into the street below. Although it was winter, technically, the breeze was humid, and the air hung stagnantly in the early morning. She had sworn that she had woken up late, but remembered that the time zone was different. Alexa wandered down the street and crossed a bridge before entering the Puerto de Buenos Aires.

The terminal seven loading dock was bustling with activity, and she crept quietly through the corridors of warehouse boxes. No one took notice of her, really, and she slipped into a passing cart that was covered with a long tarpaulin. She did not know exactly where it was going, but her best guess was that it would head into the building.

Alexa laid low, before the cart rattled to a stop. She heard bursts of rapid Spanish from her left and took a peek through the gap in the tarp. The words faded in the distance as the two men headed into an office and she peeked outside before ensuring that it was safe to leave. Alexa tumbled forward and quickly ducked into a supply closet. She fought the urge to sneeze as the dust gathered in her nostrils. Alexa covered her nose and mouth, and looked inside for anything useful for her to take. She growled in frustration upon finding nothing but empty cabinets, a bathroom full of cobwebs, and dusty tables. Alexa glanced at the window covered by a screen behind her and decidedly propped it open with a pebble, in case she needed to enter the room again tonight.

She picked up a shard from the broken mirror and used it to take a look at the hallway outside. The light glinted brightly in her eyes for a moment, but she saw that it was (for the most part) empty. She could easily sneak by and explore the rest of the compound. It was a small hallway, so they had not bothered to install a camera for that section.

She slipped out of the room and hid behind the crates stacked near the wall. Alexa crept through the gaps and peeked through the cracks to get a glimpse of what the factory was really like. She saw men and women alike in hazmat suits and wondered, why did Zharkov and Azarov have any interest in a chemical plant?

She kept this question in the back of her mind and watched the white-suited figures carefully. Alexa slunk through the shadows and glanced over at the small metal closet in the adjacent room. She watched as a woman casually put on her suit and prepared for the day. The woman picked up a small clipboard, before exiting the changing room once more. A devious look gleamed in Alexa's eyes, and she made her way into the room. A suit was her ticket to gaining access to all of the compound, and she intended to acquire one, no matter what. After grabbing a smaller hazmat suit from the wall, she put it over her body, grabbed a clipboard, and left the room.

She examined the main room and took note of the different features of the compound. There were large propane tanks, labelled as dangerous, sitting in the corner. Her eyes flickered to the adjacent room filled with rows of marijuana plants. The chamber next to it was sealed, but through the window, she saw the basic ingredients for methamphetamine on the table. Here, she realized that this was why Zharkov and Azarov were here; drugs were an integral part of any crime syndicate, and it seemed that Zharkov and Azarov's would not be different.

Alexa glanced above and made a note of the rafters and the possible points of entry. The warehouse's roof was well sealed,but there were windows at the top that she could use to get out, if necessary. She advanced further down the corridor and found a room full of heavy switches and what looked to be a maintenance room. Alexa looked around for a moment before entering, quickly attempting to determine what could be done. There had been ten small television sets in the room across from her, and a small laptop. She figured that if she could stall the security men with a power outage, she could erase the data on the camera system.

Alexa knelt down on the ground and opened a panel. Behind it was a row of wires attached to a circuit board. Alexa glanced over at the table and picked up a pair of needle nose pliers. She snipped carefully at the large green wire, doing her best to make it look like a rat had bitten through it. Upon reaching the inner sheath of the wires, she grabbed a wire cutter and tossed it forward quickly, so that the sharp edge cut through the wire without her touching it. Sparks flew from the now broken wire and the lights flickered slightly before turning off.

Alexa quickly grabbed her tools and felt around for the door. She pressed her body against it and heard the grumbling of the men as they approached. They spoke in annoyed tones, and she listened for the general direction of their voices to get the cue to leave. Upon hearing the voices stop in front of her, she ran quickly out of the room and crept down the hall.

Through the dim light peeking out from the room, she found the laptop computer on the table. She quickly scanned through the program and found the frames that showed her the most (which, was to say, the ones of her heading into the hazmat suit room). Alexa input several commands before rerouting it with an override code to delete the footage from the beginning of the day. She shut down the laptop and turned it back on before walking out the door once more.

Alexa walked down a naturally-lit pathway and continued her tour. She kept track of the locations of key items, blind spots, and windows for the mission tonight. It wasn't a difficult process, but she had to do it without arousing suspicion from the other workers. She jotted down quick bursts of notes and ducked her head down as she passed other workers.

Alexa soon reached the large metal door at the end of the compound and gazed out at the sea beyond her. This was the last portion of the compound, and though the camera system was still down, she wanted to leave without being noticed. She turned around and headed towards the main entrance, keeping her head down all the while. Alexa slunk around different corners and walked out of the compound without arousing suspicion by following a pack of workers in white suits.

Alexa looked around and ducked behind a series of metal crates. She hastily took off the outfit and shoved it into the crate, grabbing the papers in the clipboard. Alexa shoved the paper in her fist and looked around, before creeping down the side of the docks. Her intentions were to hide in the maze of metal crates and exit at the terminal six dock. This proved to be effective, as the boxes towered over her small figure. She arrived at the IVETRA plant on dock six and slipped the paper into her pocket before heading out into the parking lot. Alexa blended in effortlessly with the other people milling about towards their cars.

She was quiet as she walked back to the hotel, formulating a plan for the evening. There was an abundance of propane, and she intended to use it to her advantage. She smirked deviously as she lay in bed later that afternoon, gazing out at the Argentinian sunset.

They were never going to know what hit them.

* * *

**_(Puerto de Buenos Aires- 10:15 PM)_ **

Alexa crept silently through the maze of shipping crates in the docks. It was quiet, save for the gentle lapping of the waves nearby. She blinked in the darkness, attempting to refocus her vision to the darkened warehouse.

She had been waiting for almost an hour for Zharkov and Azarov, but no one had shown up. Alexa had examined the perimeter inside out and peeked through the various windows with a pair of binoculars she had packed, but there was nothing. She let out a sigh and placed her items in her backpack before laying on her belly to stay out of view.

The sound of a car speeding by caught her attention and she watched as a black jeep parked in front of the warehouse. The noises echoed in the night, causing her to rise from her position. She crept through the shadows as the voices from the car continued conversing in Russian, and slipped behind a large wooden crate. Alexa watched quietly before slinking towards the side of the building. She held her breath as she stood behind one of their men and waited for an opening to run.

She glanced up as Zharkov whistled loudly and shouted a command to open the warehouse doors. The guard in front of her let out an annoyed groan and headed off, which prompted her to sneak in through the window she had propped open earlier that morning.

The room was as quiet and dusty as before, with only her soft footsteps filling the silence. It was completely dark, save for the light in the hallway. Alexa opened the door slightly and used a shard from the broken mirror to reflect into the hallway. She saw nothing from her position, but heard loud bursts of conversation heading her way. Alexa held her breath as she caught a glimpse of Azarov's face as he walked by. He did not see her, and she waited in darkness, before venturing outside.

The light cast her shadow against the wall before she slipped behind a row of metal crates against the wall. She heard loud conversation from Zharkov, and turned to look as he had his arm around an unfamiliar woman. Azarov stood smirking before several crates filled with a variety of drugs.

"Seven, eight, nine, and ten. They're all here," Azarov said. "Easily worth $1 million, just for these few crates."

"This, Evelina, is how I buy you those pretty jewels, yes?" Zharkov chuckled as he picked up a large bag full of cocaine. The woman, unsure of how to act, merely giggled like a simpleton and clung to his arm. Alexa rolled her eyes in disgust and continued to advance towards the power room. She would ignore them for the time being; she had to knock out the power first.

She crept against the wall and into the power room, where she used a flashlight from her backpack to look at the panel. Immediately, she flicked off the switches providing power to the security room, so that her tracks would be covered. Alexa quickly grabbed the pistol in her backpack and screwed on a silencer, before laying down to wait.

She knelt next to the door and watched it open minutes later. A man walked brusquely into the room, grumbling curses in Spanish, and flicked on a flashlight. He opened the patch panel and turned briefly, allowing Alexa to aim a shot at his head. The muffled gunshot fired and lodged itself into his brain, causing him to fall against the wall. Blood now marked the spot where he was standing, and he let out a feeble cry against the ground.

She poked her head out of the doorway cautiously before heading into the security room. The cameras had been turned off for the main room, and were currently filming the outside perimeter. From the footage, there were five men surrounding the perimeter, so she would have to act quickly. Alexa decidedly turned off the video, leaving only an audio track to record the happenings on the outside. She gave it a time limit of fifteen minutes before it would stop recording. She smirked slightly and rifled through her backpack. It continued nothing, really, but a pistol, a book of matches, an uzi, a collapsible Remington Sniper rifle, a silencer, and several cords of rope. Alexa grabbed the gun that she had brought along and strapped it to her thigh. She wrapped the cords of rope around her waist for future use, and stowed the silencer in her zippered pocket.

Alexa looked around before leaving the room. She climbed the stairs at the end of the hall and advanced into the second floor. It was quiet as she made her way into an empty office, and she propped open a window to hoist herself up onto the rooftop. She assembled her rifle as she lay down on the roof, before taking a look at the targets in the vicinity. After confirming that there were only five targets, she calculated accordingly for any crosswinds before firing the first shot.

It was sudden and alarming, and it hit the first man in the centre of the back. The sound was muffled, but was loud enough for the others to hear. In confusion, they began shouting and looking for the source of the gunfire, but Alexa was shielded by a smokestack. She fired again at the man kneeling next to the fallen guard and watched as he fell over. One by one, she picked off the remaining guards before finally retreating back into the room below her.

She shoved the collapsed rifle into her backpack and headed back towards the stairs. Alexa made a sudden turn into another staircase with a metal bridge to the other end of the corridor. Her footsteps pattered softly against the metal floor in the bridge, in the hopes of making Zharkov and Azarov uneasy. There was nothing but a single light in the centre of the room, which caused Zharkov to look around in the darkness.

"What was that?" Zharkov said.

"It must be nothing," Azarov scoffed. Alexa smirked before advancing up a flight of stairs. She hoisted herself onto a crate and positioned herself on a rafter that was above one of Zharkov's guards. She waited for Azarov to turn back to the man groveling at his feet before firing an unsilenced shot at guard number six.

As soon as the shot was fired, Alexa rolled quickly back onto the metal crate. The bullet entered at an angle near the middle of the ear and occipital lobe. The man's blood splattered against the grey concrete, causing the woman in Zharkov's arms to scream. Immediately, they looked around and found nothing, which served to anger them.

"Hide your little bitch, Zharkov. We have work to do," Azarov snarled as he stormed towards the hallway. Alexa heard footsteps from the corridor behind her and stayed hidden, before firing a silenced shot at the man running down the stairs. He let out a choked shout as the bullet entered his heart. She quickly rose from her position to go down the stairs.

In the darkened corridor past the power room, she saw a man coming into view. He almost ran into her and was momentarily shocked as he stared at her. She stared back at him momentarily as he snapped back to attention.

He attempted to sweep her off her feet and knock her over, but she was quicker than him. She knocked the gun out of his hand and threw him into the wall. In the fray, he had knocked her gun aside, causing it to skid into the wall. Alexa crushed his face with the heel of her boot before he pushed her over. She leapt up and slammed his head down to the ground, before grabbing her gun and shooting him.

She heard a shout from the main room and quickly ducked into an office. Azarov was calling three of the seven men to protect them while the last four went to go prepare a departure. Alexa shook her head quietly before pulling out the uzi gun from her backpack. She headed towards the main warehouse door and watched from the rafters as the men prepared the jeep for departure. After tying the rope to the beam, she hung upside from her waist as she came behind them. She let out a quick whistle before pulling out the uzi.

Each man turned around and she pulled the trigger on the semi-automatic gun. It was a rather wild instrument, and she hung upside down just to grip it with both hands. The men's blood splattered against the jeep, the bullets imbedding themselves in the windows, the weak metal chassis of the car, and the bodies of the men.

Naturally, the noise brought one other man running, and Alexa heard his footsteps rounding the corner. She swung her leg around to gain momentum and flipped to claim her thirteenth victim. Alexa did a v-sit to reach for the rope and kept one hand holding it as the other untied the knot around her waist. Using her full body strength, she climbed back up to the beam above her and coiled the rope back around her waist. Alexa looked around before heading back to the main room to make her entrance.

She flipped the safety switch back onto the uzi and shoved it in the backpack. It was quite a ways down, so she tied a rope to the side of the metal bridge on the second floor and held onto the last three feet of rope. Alexa leapt off the bridge with the gun in one hand and fired at the last three men on her way down. She landed gracefully, just as the other men fell bloodied and bruised to the floor.

"Y-you!" Zharkov shouted before fumbling for his gun. Alexa rolled her eyes and shot him in the abdomen before shooting Azarov in the foot. She strode up to Zharkov and tossed aside the gun in his hand. He tried to grab her and fight, but she promptly twisted his wrist back.

Azarov grazed the side of her head with a knife, but she coldly shot at his leg and ignored the burning sensation in her head. "Now, now. Don't be like that, love," she said, her voice filled with mock sweetness. She bound the two men back to back into their respective chairs and whirled around to look at the blonde haired woman behind her, who began to scream. She recognized her terror, and Alexa shook her head.

"Evelina, is it?" Alexa said as she pointed a gun at her.

"Y-yes," the woman said shakily.

"What is it that you do?" Alexa said.

"M-model. I also sell the pills Zharkov gives to me," she stuttered.

"Don't get involved with men like these ever again," she said softly.

"I won't," the woman pleaded. "Just please, let me-"

"Let you go, correct? You're bargaining for your safety now. So go ahead, turn and run while you can," Alexa said quietly. The woman gratefully turned to leave, but Alexa kept her gun pointed at her head. She fired it and watched as Evelina fell to the ground and lay on the floor bleeding, undoubtedly dead.

Alexa saw Zharkov cringe and turned to look at him. "Something the matter?" She asked, with an eyebrow raised.

"You didn't have to kill her," he said.

"Is that love you're showing? My, you've certainly become softer since I last saw you," Alexa said sarcastically.

"Like you're one to talk. You've developed feelings for that boy of yours," Azarov spat out.

"And yet, I'm here, ready to kill you both at a moment's notice. Trust me, I haven't grown that soft," Alexa said, looking unfazed. Zharkov glared at her and raised an eyebrow.

"And why are you here?" he asked.

"Tell me what Pavlenko is planning next," she said.

"Why would we know?" Azarov interjected. "His plans don't concern us."

"And that's where you're dreadfully wrong," Alexa sighed. "Pavlenko is the ringleader for Agent Chetiri. In that sense, his moves are your moves. So tell me, what is he planning?"

"To kill you and your lover, of course," Zharkov spat out.

"Elaborate," Alexa said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Assassinations wouldn't have been enough for us," Zharkov snapped as he winced in pain. "We wanted to capture you both and let you watch him suffer."

"Is that what you want? To have me see what I love so much meet their demise before my eyes?" she said.

"Just like when you first began," Azarov sneered. "We're reverting back to the basics here."

"It's basic, but it's not going to be enough to take me down. You've taught me to be stronger than that," Alexa said as she walked around them. She raised Azarov's chin with the tip of her gun and looked him in the eyes.

"Tell me, Azarov; what are you planning to do with the drive?" she said. His eyes flashed with recognition, and she watched him chuckle quietly to himself.

"Katja must have told you about it before she died, then," he said. "Essentially, it's how we plan to meet halfway with you. You give us our drive back, and we'll give yours back."

A frown split across Alexa's face, one that made Azarov realize that she had seen through his lie. She punched him across the face, and he flinched as blood trickled down the side of his mouth. "Don't lie to me. It would be beneath you to make it that easy," she hissed.

He spat the blood on the ground and kept his head bowed down. Azarov would not speak; in turn, she moved to Zharkov. Alexa glared at him and grabbed him by the throat. His eyes widened, and she felt him squirm beneath her. "You're going to tell me what the plan is with the drive you have on me, or I will kill you," she snapped, tightening her grip.

"Pavlenko...has two copies-" he confessed.

"Two?" Alexa said disbelievingly as she released her grip. She stepped back in shock, and edged away from them. "What's he doing with them?"

Zharkov did not say anything, so she turned to Azarov. "What does he plan to do with them? Answer me," Alexa repeated.

"The first drive is just the beginning of your kills, the less personal ones. The last one has records of the more brutal killings," Azarov said.

"We released five more kills a few days ago. Wonder what your lover thinks of that," Zharkov muttered sullenly from his chair. Her eyes flickered with recognition, and she realized that she had missed them completely, since she was so busy with the Adler affair.

"Which ones?" she said, her voice taking a quieter turn. Zharkov merely began to chuckle, and she listened with a gnawing sense of anger as he began to laugh louder. Alexa stomped on his foot and punched him in the nose, and he let out a cry of pain.

"Answer me!" she shouted. It took a moment for him to recover, but he managed to speak.

"The murder of Ambassador Howard Reisling from America...the kidnapping of the First Chairman's niece...the weapons deal gone bad in Lyon...the murder of Andrei Rionaldo in Madrid, and the asylum bombing in Oslo," he spat out. Memories of those moments flashed before her eyes, and she found herself distinctly remembering the bombing in Oslo.

"Oh my god," Alexa said, her voice sounding further away. She felt disoriented and dizzy, as if the room was spinning.

"Those aren't your best, and you know that," Zharkov hissed. "The worst is yet to come, at Pavlenko's discretion. And when we release all of them, Alexa, you and I both know that everyone will come to kill you."

"Where are they?" she said.

"None of us know but Pavlenko. He's kept them, and they're under his control."

She stumbled back, unable to speak for a moment. Alexa had known that there was a drive on her, but she hadn't expected there to be two. She had two steps to cover now, and she had no idea where Pavlenko could be keeping the last two. Alexa saw a flickering movement from the two chairs tied together and snapped back to attention. In the blink of an eye, Zharkov bolted off, dropping the bounds on his hands. He had been untying the knots on his hands this whole time, and she decided quickly that this would be his end.

"Oi!" she shouted as she ran after him. Alexa saw him round a corner, and he ran as fast as his current condition would permit him. She drew nearer, and her blood ran cold as soon as she heard his voice.

"Pavlenko, she's here to kill us. Alexandra is coming for you next-" he began. Alexa's eyes narrowed, and she shot him squarely in the back. He let out a choked cry of pain, and she picked up the phone that lay on the floor. She heard a voice on the other line shouting through the speaker, but ended the call.

Alexa turned off the phone and headed back to Azarov. He was hastily trying to undo the rope on his wrists, but his fingers could not reach the knot. Alexa returned to him and pointed the gun at his head. "Now, now. It's rude to run when I'm trying to chat with you," she said.

He struggled against the rope and glared at her. "Do you see what you've done?" Azarov shouted.

"I know what I've done. I've unleashed what you've had coming for the past twenty years, and I intend to make it painful," she said dryly. "

"But do you see what you've really done? You've become the very thing you didn't want to be. You've turned into a bona-fide bitch," he spat out. "How can he still love you, after all that you've done? You're a monster!"

At the mention of her relationship, her eyes hardened, and she curled her lip in displeasure. "I don't know how he still loves someone like me, honestly, or if he even loves me at all," she muttered.

Before he could respond, she rose and dragged his chair so that he was sitting directly near the boxes, the wall, and the propane tanks. "And as for monster," she said softly as she wrapped another cord of rope around his body. "I've done the very thing you feared from the start. I've become Frankenstein's monster, and I'm coming for my creators."

She jostled him roughly as she tied the rope around him. "What do you plan to do to me? T-this is-" Azarov stuttered as she tied a tight knot.

"Ah. Don't speak now," she said softly, placing a finger to his lips. "Pleading only prevents you from dying with dignity."

She stepped back and pulled out the matches. Alexa held the burning match in front of him, and Azarov quickly put together what she intended to do.

"You're going to blow me up? Is that how I'm meant to die?" he shouted.

"Once the warehouse reaches 506 degrees Celsius, you'll be going out with a bang. Should you really ask for more?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

"You bitch! You can't do this to me!" he shouted.

"But can't I? This is just Karma, darling. Nothing unusual," she said.

"Well now," he snapped. "I see it all clearly, then."

"What?"

"Karma's a bitch, named Alexa," Azarov snarled.

"Tell them that when you get to hell," she said dryly as she tossed the fire onto his rope. He let out a yelp, and she turned to leave. Alexa turned to look one last time and watched as he and the boxes behind him began to catch fire.

"Во славу Советского превосходства," she said. "Прощай навсегда."*

She turned and began to run, wordlessly sprinting towards the exit. Alexa shut the warehouse door behind her and bolted across the dock, not wanting to get caught in the explosion. It took her a minute or two, but she finally arrived at the edge of terminal six and heard the building explode behind her.

The sound of the boom carried across the water, and she turned around from behind the metal container on the dock to look at the flames. The roof was the first to collapse, and she watched the beams cave in. The fire had engulfed the area, charring the bodies that surrounded the dock. As she watched, she knew that the deed was done, and the evidence had gone up in flames. It was over, for now.

She hid in the shadows of the containers and walked across the bridge to go back to the hotel. The streets were quiet for now, but she heard sirens heading down Autopista Illia in the distance. Alexa hurried along and crept in the shadows of the buildings. There were very few cameras on the hotel building, but she wanted to avoid them anyway. She climbed up a tree and vaulted into the balcony of her room.

Alexa opened the door and swiftly began to pack. She cleaned up quickly, washing the blood off her face and hands. Alexa wiped the room clean of fingerprints and slung the backpack over her shoulder. She knew that she would have to be casual when she left, or else it would raise suspicions against her. Before going out, she made a quick backstory for herself as a busy, run of the mill businesswoman. Alexa made her way downstairs and found the young woman who had checked her into the hotel at the receptionist's desk.

"Can I check out?" Alexa said, holding up the key.

"Yes," she said as she looked up. The woman took the key and pulled out a log book from behind the desk. "Leaving so soon?"

"Yeah. I had a meeting today, and I have to catch one more flight tonight to go to a meeting tomorrow," Alexa said.

"You're a busy woman!" she exclaimed. "International business is your thing, then?"

"Afraid so. It's rather tiring, but it's alright," Alexa said.

"I've always wanted to see the world," the woman confessed as she wrote the room down in the book, "but Abuela's groomed me to take over the family business."

"Well...choose your own path. Be bigger than what they groom you to be. It'll make you happier; I know that it did for me," Alexa said softly. The woman smiled at her briefly before handing her a receipt.

"This is for you. Come back to visit next time you go to Buenos Aires," she said.

"Thank you, Maria. See you later," Alexa said before turning away. She saw a row of flashing sirens pass by before she opened the door. They went away as she stepped outside, and she headed swiftly towards the car.

Alexa drove in silence to the airport and headed towards the third hangar. Upon arriving at the gate, she presented the paper the flight attendant gave her and waited for several minutes until a taxi arrived with the airplane crew. They headed towards the plane in silence to prepare for departure. Alexa sat quietly as the pilot started the engines and watched as the runway whooshed by beneath her a little while later.

The lights of Buenos Aires flickered brightly through the window, and she leant back, letting out a sigh. The job was over, but the worst was to come. There was one left, and she knew that Pavlenko would be the toughest to take down. He had always been the ringleader, and he would be her last chance to find the drive. Worst of all, she would have to face the same problem that she left— Q and his mysterious paramour. She sank into the seat with an exhausted sigh and closed her eyes, in an effort to curb the emotions coursing through her veins. As she sat quietly, her eyes began to droop and she soon drifted off into a dreamless and joyless sleep.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translation: To the glory of Soviet supremacy. Goodbye forever.
> 
> That's all for now! But please remember to check out the new chapter next week to see the hint for the 1500 reads special!


	34. Chapter 33

_Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes._

_**-Oscar Wilde** _

* * *

**_(December 15, 2013- 9:43 AM)_ **

_London, England_

M sat in his office, staring at the television screen with a displeased expression. He let out a sigh and pressed two fingers to his temples. M had known that the current situation with Alexa was not particularly good, but he hadn't expected it to be this bad. Eve looked up at the sound of her boss's troubled sigh and quirked an eyebrow. "Something the matter, sir?" she asked.

"Get Q in here. He won't like this, but he needs to know," M said.

"Alright. I had some files to bring by anyway, so I'll go down," Eve said as she stood up to go. She left the office and strode down the hallway to the Q-Branch. Eve had a feeling that Q would be a bit moody, as she had heard about what had happened with Kate (along with everyone else in the office). She hoped that they would overcome it and fix their relationship, especially since they were working on a mission together.

She pushed the door open and walked calmly into the Q-Branch. Q stood at his cluttered desk, typing madly at his computer. He did not seem to register that she had come in and was working ferociously on what seemed to be a map. Eve knew that he was trying to track down Alexa and felt bad as she watched him silently fret over the young woman. It was obvious that he had been working tirelessly, and she wondered exactly how long he had been here.

"When's the last time you slept, Q?" Eve called as she walked into the room. Q didn't say a word and Eve let out a sigh.

"William, has he been here all night?" she said as she turned to the man in the corner. He nodded and let out a sigh.

"He hasn't slept a wink, and he's been in a mood all morning," he said. "I know how he feels. He's like me, whenever I disagree with my Sara, except worse."

"He's been working like mad to fix what he screwed up-" Ryan muttered.

"I'm not deaf. Get back to work, both of you," Q snapped from his side of the room.

"My, my. Testy, aren't we?" Eve said as she approached him. She set the files down on the table and leant over to look at him.

"Not now, Eve," Q said, looking unamused.

"I've been sent for you," she remarked. "And it's a good thing I came by, not James. It would be far worse otherwise."

"Whatever M sent you for can wait. I'm busy, so go away," he said brusquely.

"If it can help you find Alexa, then I know you won't want it to wait," she said. He stiffened at the sound of her name and looked over at her. Q looked haggard and sad, and she felt a pang of guilt as she realized that she was the bearer of bad news.

"What do you have?" he said.

"News. M needs you in his office," she said. Q reluctantly left his computer and followed her down the hall.

"Don't tell me you stayed here all night," she said as she went up the stairs with him.

"Technically, I didn't. I went home to shower and look for any clues that she left behind. Other than taking her weapons, Alexa left nothing behind to tell me anything. She's disappeared," he sighed.

"You won't like what M will say, I reckon," Eve muttered. Q's stomach lurched in fear, and he found himself unable to say anything.

They entered the office, and Q walked up to M's desk. "What is it?" he said.

"Watch this," M said as he turned up the volume on the news broadcast. There was a young reporter at a newsroom, introducing a new headline.

"-We have a developing story in Argentina. A warehouse is under investigation early this morning after it was destroyed at eleven o'clock last night. The terminal seven dock, which exploded last night, had been under lease to Riesmann Chemicals. On the line is the chief of police, Andreas Ricardo. Mr. Ricardo, can you describe what supposedly happened last night?" the woman said.

"What we know is that there was an abnormally large amount of gunfire before the cameras went down at 10:32. After that, there is a large gap in our time frame. However, we know that the large propane tanks in the warehouse were the catalyst for the explosion. We caught the explosion from the terminal six camera at around eleven last night, but the gap still remains," he said.

"Have you gathered any survivors from the site?"

"Sadly, no. We found 19 bodies in total at the site, and none have been found alive in the rubble. What's interesting is that eighteen of them are men; only one is a female. There is obviously something else at work here, and until we investigate further, we cannot determine who was responsible for this tragedy," he said.

"A tragedy indeed. We'll continue to follow this story as it develops. Clarissa Hadley, BBC World News," the woman said sympathetically. Eve flicked the off button on the television set and glanced around the room, to see what Q thought. Q's stomach lurched in fear, and he collapsed into a chair.

"One woman," he said fearfully, looking more afraid than M or Eve had ever seen him. "She always did have a flair for theatrics."

"We don't know the identity of the woman, but we can imagine at least two likely scenarios here. I'm sure you're aware of them," M said.

"The information I gathered does show that Alexa never got on that plane or went to the hotel. Still, she was supposed to go to that terminal, and she was determined to go. She couldn't have just given up now, not when she was so close. She went after them, I know it. That's how much these people mean to her," he said. There was a tense silence in the air, and M knew that he had to be honest with Q.

"The odds aren't looking good here, Q," M sighed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "There was only one woman there, and for now, we have to assume that it's her. In that case, we need a Plan B, then. What were the last bits of information that she told you?"

"She mentioned a drive of some sort, with the name of every person she's killed and every illegal dealing she's conducted," he said. "Pavlenko, the main leader, is using it against her as leverage to get their drive back."

"We need the drive Alexa had, then. If we can get it, we can stage a setup against Pavlenko," he said. "Any clue where it is?"

"It was always with her, but I don't believe that we can salvage it after what happened with the explosion," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Assuming that it was her there, of course."

"Did she store copies anywhere?" he asked.

"She had a lot of false drives hidden, in case anyone bothered her about it. However, I believe I made a copy a few months ago when she was out training with 007," he said.

"Keep the drive safely with you. If we want to take out this program for good, we have to use it against them," he said. "For now, look for anything that can tell you if that woman in the explosion was her."

"Yes, sir," Q muttered, standing up. He shoved his hands in his pockets and sauntered out of the room, troubled by the news he had received. He had come close to losing her many times before, but this was different. This time, he hadn't watched her at all, nor had he kept any form of contact with her. She had simply disappeared, and he had no sure way to tell if she was alive or dead.

He stormed back into the Q-Branch to continue his search for any sign of life from Alexa. At the moment, the odds were stacked against her, and time was running out for him to find her. As the seconds turned into hours, he knew that she could be anywhere around the world by now; that is, if she was still alive. There was a higher probability that she was the woman in the explosion, and he had to follow up any lead on the woman's identity.

At noon, he checked his various tracers, but found that he had not received any information about the autopsy from the Argentinian police department. A lack of information frustrated him, especially as it meant not knowing what happened to the one he loved.

He worked silently for the duration of the day, switching back and forth from the theories that she was alive and that she was dead. Q checked for any signals from her phone, but it was nowhere to be found. The last registered signal was from London, but that was only a minute after she had stormed out of the Q-Branch. He cross matched different camera footages in the Buenos Aires airport, but the results were the same for each exhaustive search- no Alexa. Q looked for other paths he could use to search for her in his state of desperation, but there wasn't much that she left him to go on. She had disappeared, and the thought that she could be dead terrified him.

As the sixteenth scan came up empty on the screen at five o'clock, Q sank to the ground without a sound. He stared up at the screen with a hopeless, blank expression. Q felt drained and almost devoid of all energy that he had before, as if he had lost everything. There really was nothing he could go off of for now, and he was stuck in a strange limbo of not knowing what had happened to his lover.

He felt a hand clamp onto his shoulder, and he looked up, surprised by the gesture. It was Michael, accompanied by Joy, William, Ryan, and George. They were getting ready to head off for the evening and decided that it was time for him to leave as well. "Go home, Q. You've been here for the past 48 hours," Michael said.

"But-"

"Yeah, you need to get out of here. You look worse than the dead," William remarked. Ryan elbowed his brother, knowing that the dead comment was a bit inappropriate, and approached his boss.

"Look, take the rest of the evening to just...rest. You need it," Ryan insisted. Q saw the rest of his employees' waiting eyes and let out a sigh.

"You're right," he mumbled as he gathered his things. "It's just that I don't know anything about where she is now. She just disappeared, and she could be dead-"

"Alexa will pull through. She's a tough girl," Joy said reassuringly.

"The odds don't look good for her," he deadpanned.

"Well, we never know about her," George chimed in. "She never fails to surprise anyone."

"I just hope all of you are right," Q sighed.

He said goodbye to the Q-Branch employees and walked out the door, a myriad of emotions coursing through his veins. As he walked towards the Tube station, he felt a sense of stress running through his blood. She could be gone, and he never had the chance to reconcile with her. That was what bothered him most, and he wished that he could have explained what happened.

A pang of regret struck him as he began to think of what could have been, and if he should have been a better man. He knew that he rarely told her that he loved her; by his count, he had only told her seven times in the time he had known her. Q knew that he didn't tell her that he loved her enough and was more prone to trying to show it, in order to avoid saying the three words he was most reluctant to say.

On the walk home, Q's thoughts drifted back to the damned moment of weakness where he had allowed himself to respond to Kate's kiss. He had certainly been at fault, pulling a ridiculous move like that, and he wondered why he had stumbled like that. Was it because he still felt something for Kate?

No, that couldn't be it, he thought to himself. Alexa meant much more to him than Kate ever did, so it would be natural to think that he had lost feelings for Kate. But why did he decide to be polite and not ruin her last moment with him? He chastised himself for being so stupid, for falling prey to such a silly thing. Being polite was good at times, but she had crossed the line between friends and past lovers when she kissed him. He had chosen to be polite with a past lover, but that had led him nowhere but trouble. Guilt overwhelmed him, and he longed to apologize for his moment of weakness. But how could he, when Alexa was nowhere to be found?

Q opened the first door and put in various codes for the door before walking into the darkened house. He let out a sigh of defeat and slumped against the mahogany door behind him, feeling drained and melancholy. The best that he could do for now was to wait for tomorrow and the news it would bring. He let out a sigh and made an effort to get up, but stopped upon hearing something move in the darkness.

"Rough day at work?"

The familiar voice rang out in the darkness, causing Q to flinch. He flipped the lights on and stared at the figure sprawled on his couch. Alexa sat quietly at the couch with a bandage around her head and a glass of scotch in her hand. She was draped rather lazily on the sofa, and she smiled at him wanly as he stared at her. Alexa seemed so relaxed, so casual, yet it was obvious to him that she was still terribly cross with him and that she been mentally preparing herself for a confrontation with him. Otherwise, she would not have returned at all. His eyes widened, and he rushed over to her.

"Alexa! My god, what happened to you?" he exclaimed as he rushed over to her. Q stared at the bandage on her head in horror and brushed aside her hair to inspect it.

"Simple—I had a rough day at work, just like you did," she said as she downed another glass of scotch. He blinked as glass shards crunched under his shoes, and he glanced down to see a broken shot glass. Q quickly brushed it aside with his shoe, so it was out of harm's way. He placed his hand on her cheek to cup her chin, and she was somewhat surprised by his gesture. Q seemed unafraid to touch her, even when he knew that she was angry at him.

"You scared me. Never do that again. Please," he sighed, kneeling against the floor as he wrapped his arms around her. She had never seen him look so vulnerable and so afraid, which caused her heart to twist painfully in her chest. Alexa flinched at his touch and pulled away, attempting to bury these feelings.

"So, now you care?" she said caustically.

"What does that imply?" Q said, looking bewildered.

"I don't understand this! Did you just decide that you cared for me after seeing me bloodied and bruised?"

"Are you mad? Why wouldn't I care? You lost contact for more than 48 hours! You could have died!" Q snapped.

"But I didn't," Alexa said dully.

"That's not the point! You should have called me, texted me back, or done something to indicate that you were alright," he said angrily. "What was I supposed to assume after I saw that news broadcast, that you were dead?"

"And what was I supposed to assume, when I walked in and saw you kissing her?" Alexa shouted back as she stood, her temper flaring up. Q's eyes widened, knowing that he was in for it now, and his anger was temporarily subdued by another emotion- fear of losing her.

"Alexa, please. It's not what it looked like, I promise," Q said, looking stressed. She seemed to collapse back into herself, shrinking away from him.

"Then what was it supposed to be? There wasn't much context for me to get anything from," she said through gritted teeth. Tears threatened to fall down her cheeks, and she turned away slightly to mask her pain from his view.

Q saw through her ruse and stood next to her. "Listen," he began. "Kate just came by. I didn't ask her to drop by. For what she came for in the first place, I wasn't sure-"

"Her intentions were fairly clear. You didn't seem to be complaining either," Alexa muttered.

Q could see her stubborn nature kicking in and he let out a sigh. "Alexa, please listen to me. For once, just hear me out-" he said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Look," she replied, whirling around. Alexa was standing at full height now, seemingly radiating tension. Her eyes were slightly downcast, but he could still see the tears brimming at her lashes. She struggled to speak for a moment before her voice finally returned to her.

"How long have I not known? How long have you fooled me with dinners, dates, and all that to distract me from knowing that there was someone else?" she said, her heart wrenching painfully in her chest. Q found nothing to say for a moment, as he was surprised by the amount of pain she was showing now. Alexa had always been one to mask her pain, but the floodgates had been released; she was baring it all, in an effort to release the sickening feelings she felt.

Her voice took a quiet turn, and he saw her cast her eyes downward. She swallowed back a bitter tear and did her best not to sound as broken as she felt. "What happened in Monaco...was that really nothing? Is that all it was—a night out with some girl you'd shag later? Are you just toying with me?" she said softly.

His eyes widened in shock, and his brain scrambled to form a viable response. "I-no! Alexa, it's not like that. I just don't know how to describe it," he confessed.

"And that's just it! I don't know what that was supposed to be, and neither do you. Either way, I can't afford to care about it right now. Caring's a luxury that I can't afford, especially with the Agency around. There are bigger affairs that have to be handled, ones that require me to leave London again," she said bitterly. Q was silent for a bit before he squeezed her gently around the waist.

"There are other important things that need attention as well, but those can wait. You are the most important to me," he said. She opened her mouth to protest, but he quickly subdued her argument as he placed his hand on her cheek.

"Alexa, don't go. Just...listen. Please. If you're leaving me, well...we fight against the world each day just to stay together, so it would be wrong to go down without a fight," Q said, his voice soft yet full of raw emotion. It startled her somewhat, seeing him show so much actual feeling. It took her several long moments of silence, but she soon felt calm enough to listen to what he had to say.

"Fifty seconds," she said, neither sounding pleased nor angered.

"Kate came in while you were training with James. Her visit was unexpected, but she came in person for a good reason," he said.

"Which was? Forty seconds."

"She's getting married. Here's the invitation. Kate wanted to hand out the invitations herself, so she dropped by as a visitor. When she gave me my invitation, she told me that she hoped there were no hard feelings and tried to reconcile with me," he said, dumping the crumpled envelope on the table. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could see the mistake she had made in assuming the circumstances around the kiss in question.

"Wait! That's why she kissed you?" Alexa said, looking bewildered.

"Right. That's why she kissed me, and in fairness, I kissed her back when I really shouldn't have. For some bloody reason, I thought that it would be rude to spoil her moment, and you walked in. I went after you, but you were already gone. I tried talking to you somehow, but you didn't leave me much to go on. You wouldn't answer me, no matter how hard I tried. You just disappeared into danger, and that terrified me. I really thought that you were the woman who died in the explosion in Buenos Aires," he confessed.

"And this is all true?"

"Of course," he said, bristling as if the comment was deeply offensive to him. "Ask anyone in the Q-Branch, and watch the security tapes; this really is what happened."

She collapsed on the couch, upon realizing how wrong she was about everything. "So that's why you wanted to contact me so badly, not because you wanted to give me half-assed excuses to cover up something, but to explain the context of the situation," she said slowly.

"Exactly. I can't bear to lose you like this. We've both done too much to let it end this way," he said. Guilt quickly flooded her system, as she realized that she had been wrong about everything and had caused him tremendous worry over it. Her hands were shaking slightly, and she couldn't meet his eyes, after this thought ran through her mind. Q paused for a moment before wrapping his arms around her and nestling her body against his.

"Alexa, listen to me. You need to know this," he said, his tone firm and quiet so that only she could hear.

"Know what?" she said, looking confused.

"I love you. I've only ever told you this seven times in my life, and it should be more than that. I'm...well, mad about you, really," Q chuckled, looking both sheepish and shy. He looked like a boy again, really, who was confessing his newfound crush to someone else.

"Mad about me? Really?" Alexa asked, her heart feeling tight in her chest.

"Of course. You have the qualities I love. You have beauty without sacrificing intelligence. You're fierce out there, yet you're still fun. You're smart, not just regularly, but when you work in the field too," he said. A pang of guilt struck Alexa and she looked up at him, her hand on his shoulder.

"Q, is that true? Despite my dubious morals, my stubbornness, and everything else that's wrong with me, you still love me like that?" she said softly.

"Of course. It's not something I would lie about," he said with a roll of his eyes as his fingers entwined with hers. "Besides, even though you can be a little irrational when you're emotionally compromised, I still love you. Just you, not any other woman; I promise."

She watched as his gaze shifted away from hers. He looked down at the ground and let out a sigh. "I'm being a little ridiculous, I'm afraid. It's like I'm a schoolboy all over again," he grumbled. She sighed and put a hand on his cheek before leaning in to kiss him gently.

"No, I'm the one that's being bloody ridiculous. I'm sorry, Q," she confessed, looking up at him. "I've been unreasonable about all of this. Running away from you and not contacting you was irrational and stupid."

"You had a valid reason to be. After all, I'm sure the situation didn't look innocent to anyone passing by," he said. She nodded and glanced up, to watch his reaction. Q looked like he was struggling to say something, and she stayed quiet, wondering what he wanted to tell her.

"Alexa, I'm sorry," he said quietly. "This is my fault; I let her kiss me, and I was the one who decided to be polite and kiss her back. I should have never responded, and I apologize for hurting you like that."

"Q, it's..." she began, her voice faltering slightly. She struggled to properly convey her feelings, and she let out a sigh to calm herself. "It's okay. I understand why it happened. I'm sorry I overreacted and scared you."

Q felt the pressure on his chest being lifted, and he kissed her gently on the lips. "I never meant to hurt you like that. I'm sorry," he said softly.

"And I never meant to hurt you either by deliberating ignoring you. I expected the worst when I saw you with her, and I ended up causing you tremendous amounts of worry in return," Alexa said as she leant against his chest. He nestled her comfortably in his arms and was quiet, letting her continue.

"I've never fallen for anyone other than you, you know, and I'm sorry for being unreasonable. I was just...afraid," she confessed.

"Afraid?"

"I was scared already, from when I had to ask myself if your love really was mine to keep," she replied. "What scared me more what was happened on the mission."

"What happened then, if it shook you up that badly?" he asked, nestling his hand at her waist. She was silent for a moment, before she shifted uncomfortably in his arms.

"Pavlenko may be the last one standing, but he's not the weakest; rather, he's the strongest. Zharkov told him what I was doing before I killed him, and there's no doubt that he'll be hunting us down with his men. If anything, he's going to kill one of us- probably you. I'm more afraid of the idea of losing you for good," she said.

"You won't lose me, and I won't lose you if we have a good plan," he reassured her. "If Pavlenko's onto us, we need to go away from London and get closer to his base of operations."

"We need to go home, then," Alexa said quietly. She sounded hesitant, and he could see that she was uncomfortable with the prospect of visiting the place of her parents' death. Q saw her touch the key around her neck absentmindedly and gave her a reassuring squeeze around the waist.

"Do you know where he is?" he asked.

"No, but I'm sure we can find out. I have you on my side, after all, and I have Zharkov's phone. I'm sure we can track him down through various means of communication," she said.

"Right. I can get started on that tomorrow morning, and we can leave as soon as we can," he said. "What about your grandmother?"

"We can meet her before we leave. I need to ask M if he can hide her away while we're gone. She's the only family I have left, and I really don't want to lose her to them," Alexa sighed.

"I'll ask M when I head to the office tomorrow, then," he said.

"You don't have to. I'll go early tomorrow, so we can get a headstart," she said.

"You've been on a plane for fourteen hours. I'm fairly certain that you won't want to wake up tomorrow morning," he said dryly as he stood up. She rolled her eyes, but knew that he was right.

"Fine. I'll visit him when I wake up tomorrow. Zharkov's phone is in my purse upstairs, so just grab it before you leave," she said as she stepped aside to clean up the shards on the floor. Q went into the kitchen without a word in response, and the two retreated into the same silence that usually filled the home.

Alexa sat quietly at the couch, distracting herself with the nightly news as Q prepared dinner for them. She went through her usual motions fluidly, but quietly, which left Q nervous. He was in uncharted territory, as he had never been in a situation like this. Q wanted make things the same as they were before, but he didn't know how to start.

Alexa quickly noticed how unusually silent and careful he was about everything that involved interacting with her. It was almost like when she had first arrived in his home, where he had been so careful in handling both of their emotions. Throughout their quiet dinner, she figured that she was just looking too deeply into his actions, but found a confirmation to her suspicions when she entered their bedroom.

She slipped under the covers, and placed her hairbrush on the table. He kissed her quietly on the cheek and wished her goodnight, and she waited expectantly for him to place his arms around her like he usually did. She felt his hand brush against her body, but he recoiled suddenly, and she felt no hands touch her again. Alexa sighed in response and turned around. "Q," she said.

"Yes?" he asked, turning around.

"You're doing it again," Alexa said tonelessly.

"Sleeping? If so, yes. It's a natural biological phenomenon-" he began.

"Not that," she said, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. "You're thinking again."

"Man is a creature of thought. I cannot help what I am," he said dryly.

"That's not what I meant," she said. "What I meant is that you're over-thinking again."

"I'm not sure I understand what you're saying," he said, looking puzzled.

"Sure you do. You're being so careful with your emotions. In turn, you're nervous around me," she said.

"I am not," Q lied. "Since when did I start?"

"After we finished talking," Alexa pointed out. "Don't try to deny it; I know you're doing it."

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Maybe I am," he confessed. "After all, I really don't know what I'm doing. I've never been in this situation before, and I'm honestly unsure of how to fix this."

"You don't have to be like that," she said softly. "I'm not furious to the point where I wouldn't speak with you ever again, especially since you told me what really went on when I walked in. So go on, it's alright. I'm not going to bite."

He gratefully wrapped his arms around her waist, and she turned to face him. She let out a soft sigh and felt him kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"I know you are," she said, touching his cheek. "I'm sorry too. I must have terrified you."

"You did. Just don't ever scare me like that again," he murmured.

"And don't ever kiss another woman like that ever again," she replied dryly.

"Seems like a fair deal," he remarked. She smiled slightly, and rested her head against his chest.

"You do realize that you're not entirely off the hook yet, right?" she murmured.

"I figured. But for now, I don't really care. As long as you're here with me, alive and safe, I can live with that," he mumbled.

There was a long moment of silence before Alexa glanced up at him again with a different emotion in her eyes. He thought of it as hesitance and wondered what could be troubling her. "Q," she said.

"Hmm?"

"Who...was she?" Alexa asked. She felt him tense slightly and placed her hand on his arm to relax him. He slowly relaxed and looked back down at the woman in his arms.

"Her name was Kate Winston. The old M hired her from America as a programmer at about the same time I was hired," he said.

"And? What was she like?"

"She was...bright. Kate was fairly smart, and she was vivacious and joyful. At around that time, Sherlock had died already, so I was depressed and unhappy. Kate was everything that I wasn't at the moment, so I began a relationship with her," Q said.

"Aside from all the others in the Q-Branch, she was the closest to me, and after we started dating, I grew even closer to her. I reckon I changed a lot during that time, and I became more trusting, even somewhat socially acceptable because of her. Kate brought me out of depression, and I was happier," he continued, chuckling bitterly. Alexa did not know how to feel as he spoke of his past lover, but curiosity pushed her forward to ask him what caused it all to end.

"If you loved her like that, why did you end it all?" she asked hesitantly. Q did not speak for a long time, and she panicked, feeling as if she had made things awkward.

"It's alright. You don't have to tell me," she said quickly. Alexa turned away, feeling uncomfortable, and wished that she had not even asked in the first place.

"I thought she was going to betray us."

She stiffened slightly, and turned back to face him. His eyes were filled with a dull, expressionless look, and she wondered if he felt anything when he spoke about it. "What happened?"

"I became the head of the department when the old Q passed away. I was happy for the longest time, and I thought everything was finally going to be alright. At the same time, Kate and I had been dating for a while, and I was going to...propose to her," he said softly. Q glanced down at her, wondering how she would react when she found out about his attempted proposal.

Alexa's eyes flickered with surprise and she turned her head away slightly, so he could not see her true feelings. He let out a sigh and clung tighter to her. "I did a routine background check on everyone early in my time as the new Q. When I checked on Kate, I noticed that the information in her files was constructed well, but it wasn't exactly adding up. I went deeper and found out that she had originally been planted by the CIA as a mole. She abandoned her mission when she met me, and they started corresponding with her again when I became the head of the Q-Branch. They were offering her a position as head of intelligence, in exchange for British information," he said.

"Oh," Alexa said, sounding surprised. She had expected it to be a small matter, and not of this gravity.

"I immediately confronted her about it, and we had a bad spat. She became angry at me, and I became angry at her; put simply, the whole situation wasn't very pretty. Kate found out that I was going to propose to her when I threw the ring at her. She left in tears when I fired her, and I took the information that she had in her home and everything else that could contain information about us," he said quietly. Alexa was silent, not knowing what the proper way to react was. She ignored her hesitance and pushed on, wanting to hear the final outcome of his story.

"Did she betray you after all?"

"She was planted as a mole in the MI6, but she never gave them anything. I checked everything, even hacked into their database, but there was nothing. Kate only met with her superiors in the CIA once, about six months after she was hired. That's when she told them that she quit and ran away from their grasp. When they offered her that position, she refused and took another job at Norton Security," he said. Before she knew it, another question burst forth from her lips, and she could not contain her curiosity.

"Is that why..." she began.

"Why what?"

She paused for a moment, before looking up at him. "You're always so careful with your feelings. This must be why, am I correct?" Alexa said. He was silent for a while, and finally nodded.

"I suppose that's right. After I broke up with her, I didn't want to become romantically involved again, no matter how hard everyone else tried. Becoming attached would leave me vulnerable, and I never wanted to be lied to or deceived ever again. And look what happened in the end," he chuckled wryly. "It seems that for me, history really is doomed to be repeated."

"You've been deceived by Sherlock, Mycroft, Kate, and me, all in the span of four years. It's a miracle that you haven't given up," she sighed.

"I've been deceived by some of the trickiest liars on the planet. I don't count it as a loss; I count it as a learning experience," he said.

"You're right. Defeat can be a learning experience. Unless you're dead, of course, but that's beside the point," Alexa said. "The knowledge you gain makes you more aware, and keeps everyone safer. It helps battle the fears that may threaten our futures."

"And that's what you've wanted all along, isn't it? The chance to make memories peacefully without living in constant fear is what you've desired most. That was something they took from you a long time ago, but you'll fight to the bloody end to get it back," he said. She paused for a moment and blinked in surprise, realizing that he was correct.

"No one's ever said it to me like that before, but that's right," she said. "I never really did have that chance. I only had a small chance to make memories with my family, but those small fragments are the ones I cherish most."

"What do you remember?" he said curiously, wanting to know what memories she held close to her heart.

"I remember dad's smile. He always smiled at me that way whenever he came home from work. I remember grandmother's house, my mum's demeanour, and our hunting trips. The warmth of my parents' love...I felt that once too, and I've never felt it again, not after they took that from me," she said softly.

Her tone hardened, and she cast her eyes downward. "I don't want that to happen to anyone else, Q. No one should ever have that love taken from them, nor should they grow up remembering fear, forced obedience, and death. That's not a childhood; that's a living hell. History may repeat itself sometimes, but in this case, I don't want it to," Alexa said firmly.

"It won't. Not with you and I around, I'm certain," he said. She nodded quietly and gave him a light squeeze.

"Good night," she said in response, her weary eyes drifting shut.

"Good night, Alexa," he said. Q hesitated slightly, but chose to tell her what he felt. "I love you."

At the sound of these words, she smiled softly at him. "Nine," she said.

"Sorry?"

"You've told me that you love me nine times now," she said, sounding happy. He blinked in surprise and chuckled lightly.

"There'll be more of that later, trust me," Q replied. She nodded in response and nestled herself against him, before drifting off into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! The next chapter marks the introduction to the last portion of Agent Chetiri, so come back next time for that. Isn't it weird to think that we'll be starting the last portion of the story?
> 
> Anyway, drop a review if you would like! We're almost to 100 reviews, so here's the hint: you'll know much more about Q's criminal life if we make it to 100 reviews!


	35. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry for waiting a month before finally updating. I just got through my exams last week, so I finally got the chance to write something.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter turned out much longer than I expected, but it's got a lot of stuff in it. I guess I made a long chapter because I made all of you wait so long!
> 
> Enjoy your reading!

_The nature of the world is to be calm and enhance and support life. Evil is an absence of the inclination of matters to be at peace._

_**-Gregory Maguire** _

* * *

**_(December 16, 2013- 11:43 AM)_ **

A ray of light hit Alexa's face, and she burrowed stubbornly under the covers. It was quiet, and she chose to ignore it. Her head felt foggy, and traces of her hangover remained. She felt it hit her face again and groaned, rolling to the side. Her eyes opened groggily as she stared at the clock without a second thought. 11:43 AM-

Her eyes snapped open in surprise, and she fell off the bed. "Shit!" she exclaimed. She winced as her elbow collided with the ground, and she pushed herself back up to get dressed.

"Your response time was slower than I anticipated. I suppose it's only natural, given the time difference in Buenos Aires and the fact that you're hungover," A voice said from behind her as she opened a drawer. She whirled around and stared at Q, who was seated casually on his side of the bed. He had a cup of steaming liquid next to him on the nightstand, and his laptop and Zharkov's phone lay on the bed.

"Q! Why didn't you wake me?" Alexa said, sounding exasperated.

"You need the sleep, and I didn't want stress to catch up to you on the most important part of the mission," he said as he continued to type.

"But it's noon, and I could have started early-" she protested.

"Too late. I started already," he said, turning his computer around to show her. She took a seat back onto the bed and stared at the lines of text on the screen.

"You cracked his phone already?"

"I've been up since six this morning. I've had enough time to make breakfast, go to work, crack his phone, and track down Pavlenko," he said. "By the way, care for a coffee?"

Alexa blinked in surprise and nodded quietly, silently wondering how he could have been so energetic at six AM. She put aside her theories for a moment and stared at the screen. "This would've taken me at least a full day of work," she sighed, sipping the warm drink in her hand. "You are bloody insane."

"Insanity is the backbone of ingenuity," he said dryly as he pulled up a new screen.

"What are you up to? A reversed query?" Alexa asked, pointing at the various lines of text.

"Precisely. I'm establishing the place Pavlenko was at when he received Zharkov's phone call. It's working now, but it should give me the final results in an hour or more," he said.

"You are great. It's a good thing I fell in love with you," she said, breathing a sigh of relief. At her words, he let out a laugh.

"I'm great? Oh, please. I'm everything but," he scoffed.

"You are, because I never would've gotten up to do this. Thank you," she sighed, kissing him gently on the cheek.

"You're welcome. Good morning, by the way," he said. "Sleep well?"

"Hmm, well enough. You kept me warm," Alexa replied. "Did you talk to M about my grandmother?"

"He said he could put her wherever she wished to remain and plant an agent or two to keep an eye on her," he said.

"Mind having company? If you don't, I'll invite her over and tell her the news," she asked.

"I don't mind. Besides, I've never really met her. Does she know I exist?" he said, sounding amused.

"Not really. In the times that I've talked to her, she almost seems afraid to ask what happened to me during and after the time I disappeared. I suppose she thinks it'll make me angry. She just tells me about the past, and what life was like. I've never really explained everything here," Alexa explained. He glanced briefly at the mirror on the wall and adjusted his tie and smoothed back a few unruly curls.

"What are you doing?" she said curiously.

"I reckon this is the closest I'll ever get to a "meet the parents" experience, and I refuse to give off a shabby impression," he said stubbornly.

"You don't have to," Alexa laughed. "She's a nice woman. I'm sure she'll like you."

"It never hurts to be prepared," he said before glancing back down at his computer. "Speaking of your grandmother, we have a little time. Do you remember the address of your old home?"

Her eyes flickered with a glint of recognition and she stood up. "Hang on," she said. Alexa sauntered across the bedroom and snatched her purse off the table. She pried the bag open and pulled out a faded letter. It smelled of dust and old paper, but it looked relatively well-preserved.

"What's that?" Q asked.

"My grandmother gave it to me the last time I saw her. Apparently, I sent this to her when I went to the Black Sea with my parents the summer before I was taken away. It's old, but I think it has my address," she said. Alexa squinted slightly to read the faded handwriting, but was able to find the street name. She gave the address to Q and watched as he placed it into a map.

As soon as the connection stabilized, Q took a glance at the fuzzy image on the screen. "It might be inhabitable, but it's just too hard to tell," he said. "It's in a remote location, and we can't usually gather images because of that factor. That's certainly vexing."

"I'll ask my grandmother if it's safe," she said, grabbing her phone off the nightstand. Alexa paused for a moment before smiling slightly.

"You're doing pretty well, by the way. Maybe you should be in trouble more often," she teased.

"What are you going on about now?" he said, looking halfway amused as he continued to type.

"Don't be coy. I'm pretty sure you know," she said, nudging him gently. Q didn't say anything and turned quickly, looking her straight on.

"Am I doing it terribly wrong? Do people usually make up like this?" he asked. She stared at him and bit her lip.

"Were you listening to what I said before?" Alexa asked.

"Somewhat. I was typing," he shrugged. Alexa rolled her eyes good-naturedly and touched his arm.

"I said, you're doing a pretty good job of making things up so far. I like not having to plan out logistics for once," she said.

"I'm the Quartermaster. This is my daily job, Alexa," he reminded her, looking amused.

"I know, but you are using it to your advantage, which is fairly clever. Nothing like fulfilling your girlfriend's every need to reconcile with her," she smiled, standing up.

"I could stop," he said dryly, "though I'm sure you wouldn't want me to."

"Exactly. I like having you around my little finger," she said cheekily.

"Oh, come now. Don't be like that," he said as he stood up to wrap his arm around her waist. She let out a squeal of surprise as he pulled her back down to the bed, and she began to laugh.

"Alright, I get it! I'm sorry," she said, glancing up to look at him as she lay her head against his chest.

"Right. Are you going to get up now?" he chuckled, running a hand through her hair.

"Yeah, I'll get to work. I need to, especially with what's happened in the past few days," she said. His eyes darkened at the mention of events in the past, and he let out a sigh. Alexa felt him kiss her on the cheek and shifted slightly as he laced his fingers in her hair.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"I know you are," Alexa said.

"Oh, don't be cryptic, love. You know what I'm like," he sighed. "Aside from you, I love logic, reason, and definite answers."

"Of course, but this makes things more interesting for me," she said with a twinkle in her eyes.

"You certainly are being wicked today," he said dryly.

"But that isn't necessarily a bad thing, is it?" she said.

"Hmm, not in your line of business," he said. "It's not too much of a bad thing when you're dealing with me."

"Rightfully so," she said as she pressed her lips against his. Their kiss started out slow and chaste, and quickly turned into something more as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She felt him become a little less careful with his kisses and groaned slightly before he gently pulled away.

"I don't know if I should take all of this as a sign of forgiveness," Q mumbled as he leant against her. Alexa grinned at him and kissed him sweetly on the cheek before getting out of bed.

"Good. I love keeping you guessing!" Alexa laughed as she left the room.

* * *

After she left the room, she began to work on arranging her trip to Kodino. It was nearly noon, so she called her grandmother over to have dinner with them. She had left her friend in Cambridge several weeks before (I don't want to be a bother, she had claimed) and was staying at a small hotel in London. After phoning her and inviting her over, Alexa sat at the counter and attempted to follow Q's instructions as she prepared lunch.

He sat at the kitchen counter, hard at work on his computer as he continued to track Pavlenko. Alexa stood on the other side of the counter, staring rather blankly at a pot of steaming noodles. "How do I tell if they're done?" she said.

"Alexa, it's only been two minutes," Q chuckled as he continued to type. "They need to stay in much longer than that. It's not like when you microwave noodles, alright?"

"Well, what about this one? Do I pour it in with the noodles right now?" Alexa said, looking bewildered as she pointed to a pan of pasta sauce.

"What?" Q said, glancing up. He blinked in surprise and stopped her from mixing the watered pasta and the sauce. "No, don't do that! That's the wrong way to do it."

Her cheeks flushed pink, and she began to laugh. "This really shows you how much I know about cooking," she said.

"You're doing alright," he said as he continued to type. "You haven't set anything on fire yet, so I count this as a success."

"What, has that actually happened?" she said jokingly.

"Every chef has to start somewhere, even me," Q said, chuckling lightly. She blinked in surprise and burst into laughter.

"Alright, I suppose you have a fair point," she said as she stirred the noodles. "Got anything on Pavlenko yet?"

"I managed to bluebug his phone, so I can take a look at his information. It's being downloaded right now, and afterwards I can take off my tracers. Give me a minute or two," he said.

She waited in silence as he continued typing at his computer. A moment later, he glanced up and gave her a small smile. "I got his schedule," he said. "Looks like we're heading out."

"Wonderful," Alexa said, returning his smile with one of her own. "What does it look like?"

"Well, he has a meeting planned at Savinsky on the nineteenth," Q said. "Heard of it?"

"There were two facilities that I knew of; the main one in Plyussa and the facility near Savinsky, which we called the Bolshoye Base. The Bolshoye Base was just being built in the last few years of my training, and I knew that they originally intended it to be a prison. It's on the banks of Bolshoye Syamgozero," she said. "Before you ask, yes, that is a real place."

"Sometimes I wonder about the Russian language," Q muttered. "What's your idea so far?"

"We can stay in Kodino for a bit and solidify the logistics. Pavlenko already knows we're coming for him, so we just need to give him a faint idea of when," she said.

"A trail of breadcrumbs, then? Lead him to believe that we've left London, but not give him anything else?" Q questioned.

"Precisely. Uncertainty is the state they left me in for nearly nine months, so I reckon this is just returning the favour," she said.

"Alright. Do you know anything about the operations in the Dubrova base?" he asked.

"They're doing some genetic testing in there, as well as training of the potential agents," Alexa said.

"We need firepower, then," he said. "I can drop by headquarters later and pick up some new weapons."

"Good," she nodded affirmatively, "But I have a question."

"Yes?" he said, thinking it was about the mission.

"What do I do now?" she said, looking slightly confused as she motioned to a pot of boiling noddles and a pan of sauce. Q blinked for a moment and chuckled quietly to himself.

"Right, let me help you," he said, standing behind her. He put his arms around her body and instructed her carefully on how to drain the noodles. Q placed his hand on hers and doused the rotini with cold water before tossing it into the pasta sauce.

"Mix it in, and you're done," he said, placing the spoon at the edge of the pan.

"I knew that," Alexa chuckled as she mixed the two ingredients into a large bowl. "Really, I knew these few steps from the start."

"What am I here for, then?" he said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Nothing. I just like it when you put your arms around me and do things like this with me," she said softly. "It's a big contrast to what I do out in the field, and I like it. It's peaceful, like all things save for happiness don't exist."

"I like this peace too. It is what you're working towards, and it's a good goal," he said.

"A good goal? Hmm, I suppose so. I've never wanted anything more than to live like this, to live without being afraid of them," she mumbled as she leant against him. "Guess I'm finally getting the chance to make that happen, and with all people, I'm doing it with you."

"Why, is that a bad thing?" he questioned.

"No, but it's a strange thing. I'm asking the same man I wanted to protect from danger to help me rush off into the battlefield," Alexa replied. Q let out a sigh in response and moved towards her.

"I'm afraid you're underestimating me. I'm a bit rougher than I look, love," he said, his breath hot against her neck.

"I don't believe you. Prove it," she said playfully, giving him a sly smirk.

"You asked for it," he chuckled, before gently, almost mockingly, wrapping his arms around her waist. Alexa placed her hand against his shoulder as he placed his lips on hers and felt a spark of anticipation jolt her heart as she stood entwined in his arms.

From the get-go, he was anything but gentle. His grip around her was tighter, and his lips crashed unabashedly against hers as he pressed her back against the counter. She was a bit taken aback at first, but wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed back with force of her own, eager to explore this different side of him. His tongue darted out against hers with a sense of reckless abandon, and the world seemed to spin around as she kissed him. He nestled his hips against hers, and she let out a groan as he kissed the base of her neck roughly. She had no idea how much time had passed, but she found that she didn't care, as long as it didn't end.

"Did I prove my point?" he said softly with a hint of smugness in his voice as his lips brushed against her ear.

"I don't know," she said slyly. "Let me think..."

"Maybe I can change your mind," he chuckled quietly as he gently kissed the base of her neck and trailed upward, letting his hands wander where they pleased. A noise that she hadn't known she could make bubbled out of her lips, and she entwined her fingers in his hair.

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Alexa exclaimed breathlessly, her cheeks flushing pink and her eyes brightening. She rested her hands around his neck and smiled at him. "You are right. I underestimated you completely."

"Any complaints?" he smirked. "Feedback, after all, is crucial to personal growth."

"Believe me, I have no complaints," Alexa said. "As for feedback, I enjoyed it immensely and let me just say, I didn't know you were capable of doing half of those things to me or making those noises come out of my lips."

"Letting that side of me out every once in a while isn't a bad thing," he shrugged, before shifting slightly. "Anything else to improve?" She ruffled his hair affectionately and leant up to reach him.

"Well, I suppose you deserve one more word of advice: do more things like that to me," she whispered, giving him a quick kiss. "You are quite the man, and best of all, I have you all to myself."

"Right. Just you," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around her waist to hug her. The doorbell rang suddenly and Alexa's head snapped up.

"That must be grandmother. I'll grab the door," she said as she pulled away from him. He nodded and she left him to set the table. Alexa's hands rested on the doorknob and she opened the wooden door to look into her grandmother's crisp blue eyes.

"Gran! Good to see you," Alexa said warmly.

"It's good to see you, my dear," Tatiana said, giving her granddaughter a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well. Come on in," Alexa replied, leading her grandmother into the room. The older woman took off her coat and rubbed her slender fingers as she examined the room around her.

"My goodness, is this your home?" she said.

"Partially," Alexa explained, giving her a small smile.

"Well, it's lovely," she remarked. "But what do you mean by partially?"

"Let me show you," Alexa said, leading her out of the foyer. Tatiana's eyes sharpened with an air of curiosity at the sight of Q in the kitchen. Q's eyes sparked with interest, and he wiped his hands against a towel.

"This is Q, my boyfriend. Q, this is Tatiana Grazinsky, my grandmother," Alexa said.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am," Q said politely.

"Ah, but the pleasure is mine," Tatiana said, her eyes sparkling with interest. "You have an interesting name."

"It's a nickname," he said vaguely.

"For?"

"Sherrinford," Q said, looking unfazed. Tatiana blinked in surprise and let out a light laugh.

"I see why you wanted a nickname," she said. "Speaking of which, I didn't know Alexa had a boyfriend."

"She has a tendency to keep a lot of secrets," Q said dryly.

"She does, doesn't she?" Tatiana replied, giving him a knowing smile. Alexa rolled her eyes good-naturedly and placed a hand on her grandmother's shoulder.

"I prepared lunch for us earlier. Would you like anything to drink? We have some alcohol, if you'd like," Alexa asked.

"Just water, dear. I'm afraid I'm not up for a full glass of vodka anymore. Doctor's orders," Tatiana chuckled. Q poured her a glass and set it down, along with the pasta.

"Here you are," he said, before taking a seat. Tatiana studied him quietly as he sat down, a look that made Q slightly nervous. Alexa saw her searching look and waited patiently for her to ask questions.

"Tell me more about you two. How did you fall in love?" she asked. Her voice trailed off at the end of her sentence as she realized that this could be a touchy subject. Tatiana made an effort to avoid talking about what happened after Alexa's disappearance, for fear that she would remember the horrors she had gone through and be mentally affected. Despite this, Alexa seemed fine and began to talk about their relationship.

"That's a great question," Alexa said, letting out a soft laugh. "I first saw him in university. He was ranked first in our class and I was second, but I never talked to him until I met him in a Tube station."

"A Tube station?"

"Yes, a Tube station. Isn't that right, love?" Alexa said, taking a bite of her pasta.

"Yes, that's right," Q said. "I caught her reading a book about computer security, a subject I'm interested in. After testing her, I hired her to work for me."

"You're her boss?" Tatiana said curiously.

"Formerly. She quit permanently," Q said vaguely.

"Really? Do tell," Tatiana said. Q glanced at Alexa hesitantly, and she nodded softly in response.

"I suppose you should know everything, given that this is what I brought you here for," Alexa said quietly.

"Know what?"

"What really happened in Kodino," Alexa said. Tatiana blinked in surprise and shook her head.

"Dear, if you don't want to tell me-" she began.

"No, it's alright. I can handle it," Alexa smiled. Tatiana looked at her hesitantly but decided to trust her.

"Alright. I'm listening," she said. Alexa took a sip of the water in front of her and began her tale.

"I took the track test early that fall, and I remember getting a letter back about an elite school. Mum and dad were happy about it until the soldiers arrived at our doors," she said. "The elite school was a lie, and I had been accepted into Operation Chetiri, a program headed by The Agency designated to create assassins. It was the Union's last attempt to stay in power, and I had to be orphaned to get in."

Tatiana's eyes were wide, and she but her lip. She could not speak for a moment, but had to acknowledge the truth. "And so your parents were..." she began.

"Yes," Alexa nodded gravely. "They were killed. I tried to run, but they caught me and chained me into that facility for a long time. They trained me to kill, and forced me to do their dirty work."

"Bozhe moi. I always had a feeling that it was something suspicious. That's why I moved from Kodino and changed my last name," Tatiana muttered, wringing her hands nervously. "But how did you get away?"

"I faked my death in a bombing and came to London to study. For years, I thought that they were gone and that I was finally free to live my life. That's when I met Q, and he offered me a job," she said, smiling slightly.

"What job?"

Alexa leant back and let Q explain what had happened between them. "I'm the technology director, you could say, of the MI6," he said. "I hired Alexa, and I unknowingly fell in love with her after getting to know her. The Agency found out she was alive, and after being found out, she quit working for me permanently."

"What do you mean by permanently?"

"She jumped in front of a train to fake her death," Q said, looking nonplussed. Tatiana stared incredulously at her granddaughter, waiting for an explanation.

"What? It was the only way to keep him safe!" Alexa said indignantly. Tatiana shook her head and let out a sigh.

"And you somehow figured out she was alive after that?"

"In a long way, yes. My older brother is Sherlock Holmes, the man you first asked to help you on her disappearance in 1989. I helped him with the case, and she came out of hiding to tell me that she was alive," he said. "I came to forgive her and we began dating just as she was hired as an MI6 agent."

Tatiana merely sat quietly and took a swig of her water. "My goodness. You've taken a long path to get to this point, dear," she sighed.

"For the most part, it was worth the walk," Alexa said dryly. Tatiana nodded, and looked back up at her after taking a bite of her food.

"I have but one question, though. Why let me know now, not earlier?" Tatiana asked.

"Because I wanted to build trust with you before I could let you know," Alexa sighed. "Also, it ties into what I wanted to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I'm close to nailing the man who ordered mum and dad to die. It's a dangerous affair, and while I'm away, you'll stay under the MI6's protection. You can choose where to go," Alexa said.

"Anywhere, hmm..." Tatiana mused. She paused for a moment before glancing up at Alexa. "I'd like to go to Siena."

"Any particular reason?" Alexa said curiously.

"I met your grandfather there in my twenties, back when I was teaching mathematics at St. Mark's School. He had been drafted there, and I met him when he drew me sitting at Piazza del Campo," she said. "It's a beautiful city, and I've dreamed of going back again."

"I can make the arrangements later today to make your dream a reality. You'll be accompanied by two men, and they'll keep watch over you," Q explained.

"Am I free to roam around Siena as I please?" Tatiana said.

"Certainly, as long as you don't do anything illegal," Q said with a twinkle in his eyes. Tatiana let out a laugh and shook her head.

"I'm afraid I left my mischief back in my youth. You won't need to worry much about me," she chuckled. "I'll be worrying more about both of you anyway."

"You mustn't worry about us. Q's the responsible one, so I'm in safe hands," Alexa said.

"I'll be keeping a close eye on her, making sure that she won't do anything reckless like she usually does," Q said, giving her a chiding look.

"I'm not that reckless," Alexa protested.

"I've seen enough of you on missions to concluded that no, of course you aren't," Q said dryly.

"My business is danger, darling. You should've thought of that before you fell for me," she said, smiling slightly.

"Maybe it's a good thing I'm with you. Who else would be responsible for you?" he sighed.

"Point taken," she said. A light chuckle came from the other side of the table, and they glanced at Tatiana.

"Something wrong, Miss Grazinsky?" Q said.

"Oh, feel free to call me Tatiana, Q," she said. "I just laughed because I realized what you're like to her. You keep her grounded. I think it's right for her, really, and it's certainly nice to have you with her."

"Thank you," Q said. "I do my best to keep her out of danger."

"Go about your business, then," she said. "Just make sure to bring back my granddaughter in one piece, or I'll give you an earful.

"Trust me, I'll stay close to her," Q said, smirking slightly at Alexa. She could only laugh in response before giving Q a meaningful look.

The three continued lunch with no hassle, and Tatiana quickly grew to like Q. She found him to be a good fit for Alexa, and approved of the fact that he was a responsible man when it came to caring for her granddaughter. He could certainly make sure that she was doing well, and it seemed that he genuinely loved her.

As she stood in the foyer and pulled on her scarf, she glanced around to look for Q. He was nowhere to be seen, so she turned to Alexa. "Alexa, dear, do you believe he's the one?" she asked.

"The what?" Alexa said.

"You know," Tatiana said in a hushed tone. "The man whose love is yours to keep; the one you'll grow old with and who you'll fight for to the end?"

Alexa's eyes softened, and she nodded confidently. "Of course. Q is the only man I've loved, and the only one I'm certain I will ever love. Sure, he has his flaws here and there, but he means well. He makes me happy, and his love is for me alone, as is my love for him. I love him, and despite all my faults, he loves me too; nothing, not even the Agency, can change that," she said.

"As long as he makes you happy, dear. That me the most important thing," Tatiana said gently.

"I suppose it is," she said as she watched Tatiana put her scarf on. Alexa handed her a pair of gloves before giving her grandmother a hug.

"I'll see you soon," she said with a smile. "If you have any trouble while you're at Siena, let me know."

"I'll call you if I do. Maybe I can visit you again after this is all over," she said. "You know, check in on how you're doing."

"You certainly could. You're always welcome here," Alexa replied.

"I'll come back to visit often. I left my old home in Kodino already, and I left Leo Novikov, your father's best friend, to care for your house. It's still in fairly good shape, but I can't bring myself to go back," Tatiana said. "I've found a lovely little house in Dover, so I'll be moving in after you come back."

"Alright. Well, feel free to stop by whenever you wish," Alexa said.

"I will, and I reckon you'll surprise me each time I stop by," she said with a twinkle in her eye.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm not a simpleton, dear. That boy loves you dearly. Before long, I'll be receiving wedding invitations, and later, even a few great-grandchildren," she chuckled.

"Gran!" Alexa exclaimed, turning pink. "I don't even know if he would agree to such a thing. He doesn't seem like the type to like children."

"You never know, my dear. It's always the unlikely ones who get along with children the best," she said as the clock chimed behind her. She looked back at it and turned to Alexa.

"I think I'll head off now. I won't bother you two any longer," she said.

"Not a problem. Bye, Gran," she smiled.

"Goodbye, Alexa. Good luck," she said, giving her a quick hug. Q emerged from the kitchen and Tatiana waved at him.

"Goodbye, Q! It was good to meet you," she said, shaking his hand.

"It was a pleasure to meet you as well," he said.

"Now remember, take care of my granddaughter," she chided gently. "I'd like her back in one piece."

"I'll be sure to do so," he chuckled, putting an arm around Alexa. The couple waved goodbye to Tatiana and watched as the door shut behind her.

"Did you hear everything that we said?" Alexa said curiously.

"Every last word," he said, looking amused. "It was sweet of you to tell her all of that."

"Oh," she replied, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of pink. "You weren't supposed to be listening! Especially what she said after-"

Her eyes widened slightly, and her face seemed to turn a darker shade of red in embarrassment. "Never mind," she said. Q merely shrugged and dismissed her comment as he headed towards the door.

"By the way, I'll be going out for a bit on an errand," he said, grabbing his car keys and a coat.

"For how long?" Alexa said, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not entirely sure. Maybe a while," he said vaguely. "In the meantime, I left some new weapons for you on my desk. Is one of your fingers a size seven?"

"Yeah, I'm a size seven on my fourth, third, and second finger. You measured me when you first started building me weapons, remember? Why?" Alexa said, looking confused.

"I was trying to design a new gun, but I wasn't sure if I had the correct measurement. It doesn't really matter, I suppose, since I scrapped the idea altogether," he said. Her eyes narrowed, and she wondered why he would ask a trivial question. He wasn't one to ask pointless questions like that, a fact that caused her to glance at him strangely.

"What are you up to?" she said warily.

"Nothing," he said nonchalantly.

"Are you sure? You're not entirely off the hook yet, you know," Alexa said teasingly, with a twinkle in her eye.

"I know," he said breezily. "I'm just heading out on an errand. In the meantime, feel free to try out the new weapon designs."

His words captured her interest and momentarily diverted her attention away from his errand. "That's probably a good idea. I need to tell M to place Gran in Siena anyway," she said.

"Alright. There's also a file for both of us that contains legal documents and plane tickets," he said. "Can you plant a trail of breadcrumbs to lead Pavlenko towards our general path?"

"With pleasure. It's finally time to return the favour for leading me astray for months," she smirked.

"Alright, then. I'll see you soon," he said, kissing her atop the forehead.

"See you. Have fun," she said with a smile.

"I certainly will," he said before leaving Alexa in puzzled silence.

* * *

**_(2:53 PM- The Q-Branch)_ **

Alexa sat quietly at Q's desk, tapping her fingers impatiently against the metallic surface. Q had been gone for the past two hours, and she wondered what he could possibly be doing that would require so much of his time. In the time that he had been gone, she had planted a trail for Pavlenko, finalized the weapons he had given her, and performed various activities around the Q-Branch. There was nothing left to do, and all she could do was wait. His absence and his nonchalant attitude had worried her, and she wondered if it was natural to feel this way. It felt odd not to trust him like this, as she had never really experienced this situation before.

She glanced around and slid her chair to Joy's desk, who was currently working on organizing a stack of papers before going home early. Alexa looked around briefly and upon seeing that they were the only two left, leant forward. "Hey, are you free?" she said in a hushed tone.

"No, but I am in dire need of a break," Joy sighed, groaning as she leant her head against the stack. "Did you need something? Also, why on earth are you whispering?"

"I need honest dating advice," she said. "Have you ever dealt with suspicions of infidelity before?"

"No, I'm afraid I haven't, but I am 101% sure that Eve could help you on that," Joy smirked. "Why, do you think Q's cheating on you?"

"Yes! Wait, no! Damn it, I really don't know," Alexa groaned.

"Well, go on," Joy said as she continued stacking papers. "Tell me about it. Maybe I can help."

"It all started with that thing with Kate. I became afraid that he had been cheating on me after I saw what he was doing with her, but we both ended up being at fault because he kissed her back and because I left him to think I was dead for a few days," she said.

"Anyway, I guess the incident planted doubt in me, and he ran out two hours ago on an "errand"," Alexa muttered.

"So the man went out on an errand. Guys do it all the time," Joy chuckled.

"No, but he was acting a little strange. He asked me something about my measurement for a gun design, but he told me a few moments later that he scrapped the idea completely. You know what he's like; he never says pointless things like that, and he was so nonchalant when he said he was heading out," she said. Joy's eyes narrowed, and she tilted her hair slightly.

"That is quite strange for him to do. Maybe he went out to get materials for your mission," Joy suggested.

"Maybe, but he's been gone for hours, Joy! Even I know he wouldn't work that slowly," she groaned. "What do I do? I've been worrying all afternoon, but that doesn't help. I hate feeling like this; it doesn't feel normal! Maybe I'm being ridiculous over nothing-"

"Alexa," Joy said, looking amused. "I'm fairly certain that about 85% of the people on earth have felt this feeling before. It's normal."

"Are you sure?"

"Course I am. You'll be fine, alright? Just have a little faith in the man. I know that's a little hard for you since it takes a while for you to build and regain trust, but just take a chance. He'll be fine," Joy said.

"Alright," Alexa said softly. "So I'm not being ridiculous?"

"Eh, a bit. Just trust him a bit more. I mean, it is odd to think that he's being unfaithful because of the way he's been. Maybe he's being secretive, but for a different reason," she said. "He is, after all, much more than he appears to be. Remember, this is the same man that broke into-"

Joy suddenly stopped and looked around. Alexa glanced back at her, looking puzzled."Broke into what?" Alexa said curiously.

"You've never heard the Zagreb story?" Joy said incredulously.

"I thought that was a rumour, so I never listened to it!" Alexa said.

"Rumour, my arse. It's all true. Marcus Greene was one of our former employees that the PM forced in here. I guess she couldn't accept that Q was competent enough to run a country's security at his age," Joy said.

"Anyway, turns out, he was an assassin working to steal some weapons designs from us to sell. Q caught on fairly quickly and confronted him, and he ran off with a hard drive he collected with all of our information on it. He disappeared for a few days and we couldn't get any of our agents on the case because that was the same time 007 disappeared to kill Raoul Silva," Joy said.

"Well, go on. What did he end up doing?" Alexa said, urging her onward.

"The new M was taking care of affairs and couldn't find any other agent good enough to take down Greene, so Q essentially told him to piss off and went after Greene himself. He stormed into a warehouse in Zagreb a day later, singlehandedly took down eight men, and took back what was rightfully his," Joy shrugged.

"...Are you sure were talking about the same man?" Alexa said after a long period of silence. Joy smirked and gave her a nod and Alexa's expression broke out into a smile.

"Well, well. You learn something new every day, I suppose," Alexa shrugged.

"I've always wondered a bit about him. None of us know how he was hired, and it's bothered us for years now. Maybe he'll tell you," Joy said as she put on her coat.

"I have a vague idea," Alexa said, recalling the time he had told her about his earlier dealings.

"Really! I've known him for a while, but I knew he would tell you," Joy said, with a hint of envy in her voice. She glanced up at the clock on the wall and touched Alexa on the hand.

"Oh, I have to run. Ivy and Mia are part of the school's theatre production, so I have to grab my husband and go," she said brightly.

"Alright, mother hen," Alexa said teasingly. "Tell your daughters that I said hello."

"Will do," Joy called as she exited the room. The door hissed shut behind her, and Alexa was left alone to wonder where Q could be. Alexa decidedly ignored her gnawing fear of infidelity and reassured herself that Q was alright. She just needed more faith in him.

For the next half hour, she secured their mission files in a small silver briefcase. Alexa placed the new weapons he had left for her inside a black duffel bag and looked for any other things that they needed. The door opened without warning behind her and Q walked in, with a slightly vexed expression on his face. His facial expression changed when he saw her, and he came up behind her.

"Hi," he mumbled as he kissed her on the cheek.

"Hi," she replied, giving him a smile. "How was the errand?"

"It was a terrible idea. I shouldn't have abandoned you here," he sighed.

"Why? What happened?" she asked.

"It was a waste of my time," he said, circling around her to grab a few papers off his desk. "Got everything?"

"Just about," she replied, her brain snapping to attention. "All we have left is the bags at home that I left on the staircase."

"Right. Our flight leaves tonight at ten, so we can make it out to Kodino early in the morning without anyone really noticing. I cleared it with M, so we're leaving to get ready now," he said.

"Good. We can pick up some supplies in St. Petersburg though, can't we?"

"I don't see why not. If we need to, anyway," he replied.

"Alright. Sounds like a plan," she said as she picked up the briefcase. He slung the duffel bag over his shoulder and led her out the door.

"By the way, my mum's inviting you to dinner tonight. Care to join?" he asked as he walked out of the building.

"I don't see why not. But doesn't she live in Petersfield?"

"Yes. It's an hour and a half away, but if we get everything ready now, we can still make it back from dinner," he replied. Alexa's eyes lit up with understanding, and she nodded.

"Oh, right! I see. Was that what your errand was about?" she said, a hint of a smirk appearing on her lips.

"What are you talking about?"

"You forgot, didn't you?" she said, looking amused.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Q said coolly.

"Mycroft's birthday? December 16?" Alexa said patiently. At the sound of this, Q realized that she had seen through his façade, and he turned away in embarrassment.

"I knew it! Your eidetic memory had to have a flaw somewhere," she said triumphantly.

"For the record, I remembered it this afternoon," he said stubbornly. "Therefore, it still counts."

"Aha! Is this what your errand was about?"

"Partially," Q said vaguely. Alexa gave him an askance look and merely shook off his comment.

"And I bet your mum planned a sporadic get-together again, didn't she?"

"I'm afraid that's right," he sighed. "It's not like I can avoid it. She'll be cross with me if I don't go."

"Well then, it'll be alright. It's not like we have much left to do, and it is an important occasion," Alexa said as she took a seat in Q's car.

"You're willingly agreeing to dinner with my mother and both of my brothers?" Q said, looking both amused and surprised. "Doesn't she terrify you in the least?"

"I suppose that's true. She's the only woman I've ever met who can shut up you and your brothers in two seconds, and she's honestly one of the few people I'm afraid of. But still, she invited me, and I won't be rude by refusing her invitation," Alexa sighed. "Besides, what's the harm in getting to know the woman?"

"If you say so," he shrugged as he turned on the car and headed out of the parking lot. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Alexa looked at him curiously but merely brushed off his comment to look quietly at the passing city lights. It was a sight that evoked tranquility in her and the bursts of colour occupied her attention as she sank into the comfortable leather seat. They drove down busy streets and freeways in a quiet, yet peaceful silence. Every other moment or two was peppered with bursts of conversation that filled the air as they approached the small town of Petersfield.

Alexa stared up at an elegant home with a lawn blanketed in snow. The cobblestone driveway bumped softly beneath them, and Q stopped at the middle of the path. He turned off the engine and looked over at Alexa. "Are you sure you want to be here?" he asked.

"I'll be fine, love," Alexa chuckled. "Can't be that bad, can it?"

"It could be. Most of our family reunions do end in squabbles," Q shrugged.

"We'll be fine. Now, did you bring Mycroft a present?" she said.

"Of course I did," he said, pulling out a long black box from the backseat. Alexa chose not to question it and reveled in the fact that he was being considerate to his eldest brother.

"Right. Let's go, then," Alexa said as she walked out of the car. They stepped into the snow covered driveway, with snowflakes falling on her lashes. Q knocked on the door and moments later, his mother walked out.

"Sherrinford Holmes, you're late!" Violet Holmes scolded as she looked at her son.

"On the contrary, mum," he said coolly. "My watch is adjusted to your clocks and it is 5:00. Your invitation specifically said 5:00 so therefore, we are exactly on time."

"Au contraire, my dear boy. I last looked at the clock at exactly 5:00. A minute has to have passed by now," Violet said, looking nonplussed.

"Check again, mum," Q said dryly. She glanced at the clock behind her and upon realizing that he was right on time, gave him a displeased look.

"Fine, I'll admit that I'm wrong this time. But where are your brothers? They are nearly late, and I thought I told you boys that I detest tardiness," she said.

"I'm not entirely sure. Are we really the first ones here?"

"I'm afraid so. I prepared a large dinner tonight for Mycroft's birthday, and it would be terribly rude to be late," she sighed. Violet placed her hands in her pockets and glanced over at Alexa.

"I almost didn't notice you there, Alexa!" Violet said. "Did I startle you?"

"Erm...slightly?" she said hesitantly.

"Good. It's something you'll learn to get used to when you spend enough time around me," Violet smirked. Alexa gave her a tentative smile that caused Q to chuckle and put an arm around her reassuringly.

"May we come in now? It's considerably warmer in there," Q said.

"Of course, but your brothers better show up, or I'll be bloody cross with them-" she began. As she spoke, a sleek black car sped into the pathway, followed by another dark coloured vehicle. They glanced over at the drivers, who emerged from the cars with somewhat nervous gazes. Q recognized Molly, who looked terrified as she stood next to a restless Sherlock. The other passenger whom Alexa did not know was scolding Mycroft.

"Honestly, Mycroft! Would it kill you to drive slower than that? Why the hell-" the man next to him said. Mycroft quickly quieted him and strode up to the door.

"Good afternoon, mother," he said politely. "Hello, Q, Alexa."

Sherlock walked up behind them with his hand in his pockets. "We're all here on time," he said, as if it was an effort to reassure his mother. She glanced back at the clock and folded her arms across her chest.

"It's 5:02! What have I told you two about being late?" she said.

"With punctuality lies the power to work efficiently," Sherlock and Mycroft said simultaneously, appearing to be rather exasperated with the statement.

"It's good that you remember my words verbatim, even after all these years. There is hope for both of you yet," she said, looking somewhat pleased. "Come in, then. I shan't keep you out here in the cold, can I?"

They walked in quietly, and Alexa hung her coat on a rack in the foyer. The house spacious and tastefully decorated, and a series of family portraits hung on the wall. She stared up at the spiraling mahogany stairs with a lush burgundy carpet, knowing that Q had sprinted up and down these stairs when he was young. In turn, she found herself wondering what Q's childhood had been like, living in such a household. It was a very well-to-do environment, and she couldn't help but feel intimidated by the elegant expanse of the home. As she looked around, she tugged gently at Q's arm.

"Q," she whispered as she watched Violet head into the kitchen with Mycroft, his friend, Molly, and Sherlock.

"What?" he said, hanging his coat on the rack.

"Is that why you're so ridiculously strict about punctuality?" she said curiously.

"Yes, love, that's exactly why I'm ridiculously strict about punctuality. It's a behaviour that rubs off on you after living with her for so long," Q replied as he put an arm around her waist.

"Right, I figured that was the case," Alexa muttered. "Look, I see why you were hesitant when I agreed so easily."

"Oh, really?" Q said, looking amused. "And why is that?"

"Your mum is intimidating as hell, Q! I'm sure she's nice, but I can't help but feel intimidated by her. I was naïve to believe that this would be easy," she grumbled.

"We won't be here too long, I promise. It won't be that bad. Or at least I hope not," he murmured as his lips brushed softly against her cheek. She smiled slightly and entwined her fingers around his. They entered the room hand in hand and began preparing for the dinner before them. Q sat across from Alexa, and Alexa glanced over at her seatmate on the right to give her a small smile.

"You must be Molly. I'm Alexa," she said, holding out her hand.

"I remember you," she said brightly. "I signed your death certificate. Speaking of which, it was bloody clever, how you did it. You managed to fool them for a little while-"

Molly blinked, suddenly realizing that this was not the entirely appropriate thing to say, and her cheeks flushed red. "Oh, sorry. I wasn't supposed to say that," she said hastily. To her statement, Alexa could only laugh and shake her head.

"Molly, it's alright. I've heard worse, especially from living with him," she said breezily.

"What was that, love?" Q said, glancing at her from across the table.

"Nothing," Alexa said nonchalantly. Q merely shrugged, and Alexa turned back to Molly.

"I've heard only a little about you from Q. You're Sherlock's girlfriend, right? Must be a handful to deal with."

"Yeah, and it's a bit much sometimes," Molly said in her soft voice as her cheeks flushed pink. "I mean, he can be hard-headed...well, a lot, really, but he's sweet nonetheless. He's probably a lot like your man."

"Stubborn as hell yet sweet in his own way? Of course. Nothing both of us can't handle, though," Alexa said. The two women laughed together, causing Sherlock to turn away from his conversation with Mycroft.

"Molly, you aren't spreading rumours about me over there, are you?" he said, looking amused.

"Of course not. I'm just telling Alexa what you're like," she said. "No need to be alarmed."

"Caring about rumours? That's a first," the other man next to Alexa chuckled with a roll of his eyes. He was an older gentleman of a taller stature, with greying hair and a weathered expression. He seemed friendly, and turned to join their conversation.

"It's only when I spread rumours that he cares, Greg," Molly said, looking amused. "By the way, have you met Alexa?"

"I can't say I have," he said, holding out his hand. "Name's Greg Lestrade. I work with Scotland Yard."

"Nice to meet you," Alexa said, shaking his hand. "Mycroft yours, then?"

"Oh, yeah," the older man chuckled. "Not as much of a hellion as your lot, I reckon."

"I'd say they're about the same. Mycroft dabbles in a bit of everything too," Alexa chuckled. The clattering sound of Violet setting a plate on the table momentarily distracted her, and she watched as the three brothers stood up.

"Mum, sit down. We'll take care of it," Q sighed.

"Boys, I'm perfectly capable of handling my own dishes. I'd like to present it myself, for heaven's sake-" she protested.

"No, mum. You're almost 62, and you certainly haven't been taking the medicine I sent you. You seem so frail, almost as if you're on the brink of osteopenia. Therefore, you really shouldn't be lifting such a heavy plate," Sherlock complained.

"Ah, yes. Looks like you finally made use of that Chemistry degree," she muttered. "And remember to watch your words, dear. I'm not that frail yet."

"Mother, there are three larger dishes in the kitchen. Now tell me, would you rather lift all of them by yourself?" Mycroft said.

"I would rather do it, to present the fruits of my labours with my hands," she grumbled, waving her sons aside. "Step off, all of you."

"Too late, mum," the three brothers said as they set the food on the table. She gave them a pout in response and took her seat.

"Fine, fine. Go on then, let's begin," she said breezily. The dinner began quietly, but soon, small bursts of overlapping conversation spread across the table in the midst of eating Violet's lamb chops and steamed vegetables. Alexa took a bite of a crisp vegetable and a small slice of lamb and looked up at the sound of Violet's voice.

"How is it, Alexa?" Violet asked.

"It's lovely. I take it this is where Q gets his cooking skills?" she said with a small, hesitant smile.

"I reckon it is. I taught all three of them how to cook when they were small, because I never liked the idea of eating outside anyway. Too much money is wasted that way," she scoffed.

"Did you teach him his alcohol connoisseur skills too?" Alexa said curiously. Violet's eyes flickered with surprise, and she leant forward.

"No, I'm afraid not. In fact, he never told me about it. He never tells me anything, my Sherri-I mean Q," she said, looking slightly irritated. "I'm assuming Mycroft taught him, and Mycroft learned from his father. Siger always did have a taste for fine wines and the like."

Alexa nodded in response and continued to take small, steady bites out of her lamb. After her small spurt of conversation, Violet had moved onto new prey and was currently doing her version of an interrogation on Molly, who looked as terrified as could be under Violet's piercing gaze. As she stammered out responses, Alexa reveled in the fact that Violet had not torn into each detail of her life yet and intended to leave with Q soon to prepare for the mission.

"-lexa, how's work?" Violet said casually from her position at the table. Alexa did her best not to visibly flinch and put on a smile. This was the question she had hoped that Violet would not ask, but she decided to face it anyway.

"It's going well," Alexa nodded, setting her fork down.

"Oh, no need to be vague. Spare me a few details," Violet said nonchalantly, causing Alexa to turn around.

"Am I allowed to do that, Q?" Alexa said curiously.

"At her demand? She's former personnel, so I don't see why not," he said. "Given that everyone knows here, of course."

"Know what?" Molly said as she and Greg exchanged mutually confused looks.

"Boys! You haven't told them?" Violet said.

"It didn't seem important," Mycroft said vaguely.

"You seem like you want to forget it, but your mum apparently doesn't want you to. This has to have juicy details, so tell us, what are you talking about?" Greg asked, looking curiously at him. Mycroft looked at each of his brother for a moment before going back to Greg.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Sherlock said, looking amused

"The last time I didn't know, I ended up accidentally dating a consulting criminal. The last time Greg didn't know, he ended up thinking you committed suicide," Molly said dryly. "I think that's enough of a reason for you to quit keeping secrets and tell us."

"I side with Molly in this case. I'm curious on this one," Greg said. "What is it, and why is it so important?"

"The positions we've held are important because they concern national security," Sherlock replied after a moment. "All of us except you two have worked or are working for the MI6."

There was a brief silence, and Molly and Greg could not fight off a surprised expression. Violet looked at Molly and Greg's reactions and beamed with a hint of glee. "Oh, I love this part the best," she interjected. "The look of surprise is always priceless."

"Hang on, are you still part of the MI6?" Greg said, looking curiously at Violet.

"Somewhat. I come in every now and then. Sherlock's an agent that they call in every so often, as is Mycroft. Q's the Quartermaster for the MI6, and Alexa's currently an agent," Violet said. A thought dawned on Molly, and she whirled around to look at Sherlock.

"Is that why you missed our anniversary?" she exclaimed.

"What?"

"Remember? I caught you with a ticket to Berne and questioned you about it. All you said was, 'I'm out on a mission; see you later,'" Molly frowned.

"Ah, yes. That's right. At least you know now," Sherlock said nonchalantly.

"Leave it to you to think like that," Q chuckled. "At least I don't have to deal with that."

"Oh, no. I've put you through much worse," Alexa smirked. "That's the price of being with me."

"It's a price I'm willing to pay," Q said smoothly, allowing himself to give Alexa a small smile.

"Why Sherrinford, I never knew you were such a sap," Mycroft teased.

"I have my moments," Q shrugged, as the smile remained on his lips.

And so, dinner continued somewhat peacefully, each moment never dull and filled with conversation. For once, Q noted that the evening had not ended in a squabble and was relatively enjoyable. At the head of the table, Violet sat whilst beaming proudly at her sons. She had never anticipated for any of them to find someone else who would care deeply about them and felt satisfied at knowing that the Holmes brothers would be in good hands.

As the evening winded down to a close, Q and Alexa sat calmly together on the couch. The others were also gathered around the fireplace, and were presenting Mycroft with presents for his birthday.

"This is our gift, from Sherlock and me. Happy birthday, Mycroft," Q said, holding out a box for his brother. Mycroft thanked him briefly and took the lid off the box.

"So that's where my umbrella went," Mycroft mused. "What have you done to it?"

"This umbrella always goes around with you, and you do conduct some fairly dangerous dealings at some points. The small switch in the handle that fires tranquilizer darts. Or bullets, really, if you so desire. Sherlock made the mixture inside the darts," he said.

"Certainly a useful gift. Thank you, both of you," he said, nodding appreciatively. The clock behind him chimed seven, and Q looked over at Alexa.

"Think we should go?" he asked

"I think so. The flight leaves at ten, right?"

"Yes, and we can make it back in time," Q replied.

"Going so soon?" Violet questioned.

"I'm afraid so, mum. We're heading to Russia tonight," Q said.

"Why Russia?" she replied,

"I have old friends that I need to meet again," Alexa said dryly.

"I see," Violet said, giving them a knowing look. "Good luck with your endeavours, then. It was good to see you, Alexa. Do come back and visit."

"It was good to see you again," Alexa said, shaking Violet's hand warmly. "We'll be back before you know it."

"Well, then. Goodbye, Q, Alexa. Don't get yourselves killed out there," Mycroft said, bidding them goodbye.

"I assure you, Alexa and I can manage ourselves out there. We'll be fine," Q chuckled.

"Of course you will be. You two work well together," Sherlock scoffed.

"Must be a perk of mixing business and pleasure," Mycroft chuckled. Q rolled his eyes good-naturedly and watched Alexa as she said her goodbyes to Molly and Greg. The sight of her with the others caused him to turn his attention to his mother.

"Before we leave, may I speak to you privately?" Q said, turning to her.

"I don't see why not. What is this about now?" Violet said as she headed off with him. Their voices quieted as they headed up the staircase in the foyer, and Alexa looked around for Q. She quickly excused herself and was in the process of putting on her coat when she heard a loud noise from the upstairs floor, followed by Q's words of, "Mum, be quiet!"

She wondered what had happened, but chose not to question why Violet had come down the stairs minutes later with Q and a smile on her face. She seemed invigorated and stood on the threshold to wish them goodbye.

"Goodbye, Alexa. Take care of my son out there, will you?"

"Duly noted. I'll keep an eye on him," Alexa said.

"Good. Enjoy your time in Russia," she said. "Well, I know you will-"

"Mum," Q scolded, frowning at his mother.

"Sherrinford, dear, I can't help it. Give me a chance to be excited," she scolded.

"Whatever," Q sighed. "Goodbye, mum."

"Goodbye, my boy," she smiled, giving him a hug. "Your father would be proud."

"It's not that big of a-" he began.

"Oh, hush. Of course it is," she chided. "Now, go on. Have a good time in Russia!"

"Sure," Q shrugged. "See you later."

They said their goodbyes and retreated into the car at the front of the house. Alexa shut the door behind them and glanced over at Q.

"What just happened?" she questioned.

"Nothing," Q said nonchalantly.

"Are you sure? I heard your mum make a fuss about it, so it must be something good," she said.

"I'm telling you, Alexa, it's not a big deal," he said as he started the car.

"To you, it might not be a big deal, but I still want to know," Alexa said. She suddenly went quiet and a mischievous glint lit up her eyes.

"What if I tried to coax you into telling me?" she grinned.

"You couldn't get me to tell you even if you tried," he chuckled.

"Can I test that?"

"Try what you want, but I really won't tell you," he smirked. "Sorry, love."

Her lips pursed into a frown, and she let out a theatric sigh. "Oh, alright. Is it something you'll tell me eventually?"

"Eventually, yes. However, I assure you, it's nothing for you to worry about," he said as he adjusted the mirrors. "Ready to go?"

"Of course. What about you? Are you sure you can do this with me?" she said.

"I'm ready to go," he said. "And yes, I am ready to do this. You know my track record and the business I deal with. I can handle this."

"Point taken. Let's do this," Alexa said, appearing invigorated.

"Off we go, then," he replied as they took off. Though neither of them knew what was in store, they were prepared to face whatever was necessary to take down the Agency. Their car sped off into the night, leaving the bright lights of Petersfield as fading flickering beams in the distance and pushing themselves closer to the unknown.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that's all I have! It was more of a development chapter (in terms of character relationships), but I hope you still liked it. Spoiler alert: Next chapter will be about the Agency and Q's secret! (Also, it'll have on more action, I think)
> 
> By the way, I want to thank all of you for your views. Your support is the backbone of this story's success, and I want to say thank you.
> 
> Please continue to view this story so I can publish the special and whatever we may reach beyond it!
> 
> Thanks again!


	36. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New year, new chapter!
> 
> So anyway, I hope you enjoy a really long chapter this week. I really should warn you...it turned out to be 12,000 words...
> 
> Also, I added a small surprise in this chapter too (though I'm sure most of you figured it out).

_The point of these things is to remind us that there's no going back. There's only a way forward._

_**-Michelle Yeoh** _

* * *

**_(December 17, 2014- 3:04 AM)_ **

_Onega, Russia_

The small, double prop-engined plane touched down roughly in the local airport of Onega, causing Q to flinch as his hands intertwined with Alexa's. Alexa, whose eyes showed that she was faraway in her own thoughts, squeezed Q's hand absentmindedly as she stared out the window towards the darkened sky. The clouds drew a haze over the moonlight city, as if a prelude to the uncertainty of the moments to come.

"Alexa," Q said suddenly after recovering from the initial panic of the landing process.

"Hmm? What?" she blinked as she turned to look at him.

"Don't fret so much. We'll be alright," he reassured her.

"I hope so," she sighed as she climbed out of the plane with him. "I just can't help but feel anxious. I don't know what for, really, but the feeling is there."

She suddenly let go as she hopped out of the plane, thanking the pilot as needed. Q pondered her words as they grabbed their luggage from the plane and loaded into a car that they had requested. As he began to drive down the darkened roads leading out of Onega, a burst of words popped out of his mouth unexpectedly.

"It's likely because you're coming back to your childhood home," he said softly. Q realized the implications of his words and saw that she would obviously be emotionally unstable, and it was only right to keep her from falling apart. She turned to look at him and bit her lip before nodding.

"Partially, I suppose. I haven't been back since I was taken away, and I don't know what it'll take to bring myself through that door again," she sighed. "Maybe you can help me."

"I'm your source of support. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do since you're my girlfriend?" Q chuckled as he began to follow the directions on his cellphone towards Kodino.

"I suppose. In turn, I'll support you, is that right?" she said.

"Right indeed," he said as he sped down a darkened highway. She bent her elbow and placed it on the side of the car before stifling a quiet yawn. Alexa's eyes drifted over to Q, and she smiled gently at him.

"I suppose I don't say it too often, but I really am lucky to have you," she said softly as she glanced over at him.

"What are you going on about now?" he said, sounding amused.

"I mean, not just any man would willingly head off into Russia towards danger just to be with me," she said. "Certainly not normal protocol."

"I suppose that makes me an abnormal man," he said. "Not of the ordinary sort in the least."

"No, that makes you an extraordinary man," she laughed quietly, sounding drowsy. "My extraordinary man."

Her words caused Q to chuckle as he drove down the local highway. "You're getting sleepy, love. Take a nap; we'll be there in two hours or so." Q said.

"No," she grumbled. "What if you get drowsy while you drive?"

"I'll be fine," he reassured her. "I managed to sleep on the way here anyway, so I have enough energy. You, on the other hand, didn't sleep a wink."

"Not really. I'm too busy fretting over what's yet to come, I suppose," she sighed.

"Which is exactly why you need to catch up on your sleep," Q chided gently. "Go take a nap. We'll be there in a few hours."

"If you say so," Alexa said, leaning into the seat. "If you want me to take over, just wake me up."

"I'll slam on the brakes to let you know," he replied dryly. She let out a brief laugh and shook her head before bending towards the window to catch a glimpse of the frozen forest outside. Her eyes watched the flickering shadow of their vehicle being cast against the trees in a mesmerizing up and down pattern before her eyes slowly drifted shut into a deep sleep.

* * *

At about 6:21 AM, the car halted to a stop, and Alexa moved forward with more than the usual amount of force. She awoke, looking startled and looked around at her surroundings. It was quiet, and she glanced over questioningly at Q.

"Where are we now?" she wondered aloud.

"Take a look," he said, staring at the house lighted by the dawning sun in the treetops above them. The morning brought new, yet dim light, but she still saw the features of the house as clearly as she could. Her eyes shifted focus, and she could not help but let out a soft gasp. It was different from looking at it in pictures, and the feelings that arose from looking at her old home caused her heart to tighten in her chest.

"Kodino," Alexa said with an unreadable expression on her face. "It's just like how I left it."

Thinking about the murders that had occurred here left a rather disconcerting afterthought in Q's mind, and he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Let's hope not," Q muttered to himself as he strode up the steps. He paused momentarily after seeing that she did not follow him and turned to face her.

"Are you coming?" he said.

"I...think so," she said, looking dazed. He walked back to her and gently wrapped his fingers around hers.

"Are you afraid?" Q asked.

"...Yes," she sighed, looking down at her shoes. "It's ridiculous, I know, but I can't help but be afraid."

"It's not ridiculous. Trust me on that one," he scoffed, squeezing her hand gently. She smiled softly at his gesture before looking back up at the house.

"Alright. It's now or never, I suppose," she said as she started forward. The weathered wooden stairs creaked under her boots as she strode towards the front door, and she stood with Q as she inserted her key into the lock. Her eyes shone with hesitance when she looked up at him, and his hand rested atop hers. Together, they turned the doorknob to open the musty wooden door.

"Welcome home," he said as he led her inside. She stood briefly in the front foyer before venturing into the living room on her left. As she remained fixed at the foot of the rug, she stared quietly as her surroundings, unable to speak as she stared at the remains of her childhood home.

Despite being uninhabited for years, the house was relatively well preserved, as if everything she had left behind when she was four was still in the same general area. There was a spacious living room to the left of the foyer and a kitchen to the right. The living room was covered in light brown wallpaper with small dark green fleur-de-lis marks decorating it. A chipped stone fireplace sat boarded up and unused, and three stockings decorated the mantle. In the corner beside the sofa, which was covered in plastic sheeting and a white cloth, was an artificial Christmas tree laden with wrapped presents that had been left unopened for almost twenty-four years.

As Alexa looked at the presents on the floor, a wave of nostalgia and sadness flooded through her veins. "Everything is just as I left it that night," she said, her voice sounding small and far-away.

"The tree, the stockings, the presents...they're all still here, and we never had the chance to open them all together," Alexa continued, with a small and rueful smile spreading across her face. Her smile was filled with a bittersweet emotion which Q did not see on her often. He squeezed her hand gently and proceeded on his own to inspect the rest of the room.

On the wall above the fireplace was an assortment of dusty photographs. Q blew the dust off the glass to find a photograph of Alexa. In the photograph, a younger Alexa stood next to a dark-haired woman in a faded blue dress. The two were smiling in the photograph, and his eyes softened as he noticed the similarities between Alexa and her mother. They had the same vivacious smile, and it seemed that the tall blonde-haired man in the picture could not help but join in their displays of joy. As his eyes drifted towards the man in the picture, it was clear that he was Alexa's father, given the way his eyes looked almost the same as hers.

He set the photograph back down with a faint smile on his lips and walked back to Alexa, who had proceeded hesitantly through the dining room in front of them and back into the foyer.

"I can't find the circuit box around here," she said as she stood at the base of the wooden staircase.

"Maybe it's in the kitchen," he said. Her eyes flashed with fear, and he quickly realized that was where her parents had died.

"Alexa, if you don't want to do this-" Q began. She cut him off with a shake of her head.

"No, I'll be fine. I have to face it eventually, don't I?" she said, smiling wanly at him. He let out a sigh and took her by the hand, squeezing her hand gently. Alexa glanced back up at him and found herself smiling at his support as she led him into the kitchen.

The kitchen, despite being darkened by the slightly closed curtains, was still a bright shade of yellow. Alexa stepped apprehensively on the linoleum floors and looked around for the circuit box. She did not dare to look at the darkened corner near the window, for that was the same spot her parents had met their end.

Alexa squinted in the darkness and caught a glimpse of a large grey box on the wall. Without hesitation, she flipped it open and attempted to turn on the switches. They merely flipped from side to side without any effect, which caused her to sigh in frustration.

"Great. Got a lighter, Q?" she sighed.

"I don't smoke," he said as he rummaged through the cabinets. "Before you ask, my phone's in the car, so that's out."

"Damn. There must be a box of matches here somewhere," she said as she went through the drawer in front of her. As she pored over stacks of nearly arranged cutlery, she heard a noise from behind her.

"Found one," Q said as he reached for a box on the top shelf, labelled "for blackouts". He shook an old flashlight gently, but it did not turn on. Without hesitation, he moved to a stack of candles and lit his before lighting one for Alexa. She did not take her candle and stood motionlessly, staring at the wall. Her sudden display of emotion caught him off guard, and he put a hand on her shoulder.

"What? What is it?" he said.

"My parents died right there," she said, her hands shaking as she pointed at the corner of the kitchen. Q blinked in surprise and tilted his head.

"They never mentioned this spot in any of the reports I read," he said.

"They didn't realize that it was here, but I remember it with my own eyes. It was here," she insisted. There did not seem to be any trace that indicated that her parents had met their demise at that particular spot, but it seemed that she knew exactly where to look.

Alexa threw open the curtains to let the morning light. She bent down near the floor and stared at the browned line that was barely visible on the edge of the floor and the cabinet. There was a small splash of browned liquid that had stained the wood near the cabinet's base, and Q immediately realized that this was her parent's blood that had seeped into the wood. She pushed aside the various containers that covered the counter, which Q figured to be untouched for 24 years. Sure enough, the containers were a distraction to cover the truth hidden on the tiled counter. Behind them was a clean hole in the cracked marble tile that was the size of a bullet hole. It had pierced the tile with some effort, and it came to rest in the wooden beam underneath the drywall.

As Q stood behind her, he caught a glimpse of dull, rusted metal in the wall and knew that this was the same bullet that had killed her mother all those years ago. Alexa stumbled back upon finding the bullet and crumpled to the floor. He placed the candle in a holder on the table and crouched down.

"Alexa," he said softly, sitting down next to her. Tears shone in her eyes and she began to cry as he pulled her into his arms.

"The police never did notice. No one did. It was left here untouched, hidden under their noses," she whispered, tears streaming down her face. "Why didn't they see it? Did they care enough to look? Is that all it was, just another unsolved case?"

"Everyone in town looked for you, but sometimes the answers are in front of us and we're too blinded by pain, anger, or any other emotion to see them," he said softly. She visibly flinched away from his touch, but he willed himself to wrap his arms around her. He could feel her shaking against him, and he smoothed her hair gently as he clung to her.

With time, she slowly began to regain her composure, and her shaky breaths had been replaced with longer, calmer breaths. He listened to her soft sighs and wiped tears away from her cheeks.

"Seeing you cry is neither something I'll never get used to, nor something I'll ever enjoy," he sighed quietly, squeezing her gently.

"I'm sorry for being so emotional. I thought it would be fine for me to come back here. God, I was wrong," she sniffled, wiping her tears away.

"You'll be alright," Q replied, kissing her gently on the forehead. She leant her head against his chest and stared forlornly at the wall, hearing nothing but the sound of their breaths and the beating of his heart. It was an unexpected moment that she found comfort in, which she used to calm herself down. Her fingers drifted gently onto his shirt before she sat up.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"For what?" Q said, looking puzzled.

"For comforting me, of course. If I had been alone here when I found the bullet and the bloodstain, I would still be curled in a ball on the floor in tears," she chuckled softly.

"Isn't comforting you what I'm supposed to do?" he chided gently, squeezing her waist.

"You're free to do whatever you like," she replied. "It's just nice when you console me, though. I appreciate your support."

"It's my pleasure. Just as long as you're relatively happy," he said, helping her up. "Are you ready?"

"I guess so. I can't wait to sleep until noon," she sighed as she stood up. "I bet you're tired too, aren't you?"

"Only a little. I've been through worse," he replied.

"Q, you haven't slept in 22 hours. You didn't sleep on the way here through the plane, and you were up since 6 AM yesterday," she replied. "You have to be exhausted."

"I'm fine, I promise," he insisted.

"No, you're not. I'll make you sleep, if it's the last thing I do," Alexa said as she stepped outside with him. They grabbed their bags out of the back of the car, and they headed back into the house. Alexa shut the door behind her and headed upstairs to the guest bedroom. Q headed out to check on something in the basement, leaving Alexa for five minutes or so by herself.

The guest bedroom walls were a faded shade of blue and a door to the hallway bathroom sat in the corner. A bed and closet sat near the window, which showed a view of the tree outside. Alexa threw the bag onto the floor and dusted off the mirror before changing clothes. As she began changing into different clothes, Q left the room without warning. She didn't notice, and continued to slip on a pair of sweatpants. As she grabbed a spare shirt, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and let out a startled yelp.

"Glad to see that I can still scare you," Q teased.

"You didn't scare me," she grumbled as she slipped a shirt over her head. "Your hands are just cold."

"You know how the saying goes. Cold hands, warm heart," he replied. "Rather unexpected, really, when it's coming from me."

"Nonsense. You are a warm-hearted man, even if you don't look like it," she replied as she handed him a set of clothes. "Are the pipes any good?"

"The water pump and the water heater are both electrically powered, so everything's dead. However, we could go into town for water. I checked the pipes near the laundry closet downstairs, but they're not really that rusted. Does someone keep an eye on this place?" he asked.

"My grandmother said that she left the house in the care of Leo, my father's best friend. I suppose he kept an eye on the house to some extent," she said. "That explains why everything's wrapped in plastic. At least it keeps everything usable."

"Point taken. Aside from the musty smell everything will have, it'll still be ok," Q said as he took the white cover off the bed. He unwrapped the plastic sheeting off the bed and surely enough, the sheets were perfectly alright, save for the musty smell on the fabric. Q slipped on his clothes and settled into the bed, wrapping his arms around her. She pulled up the covers to her chin, coughing slightly at the dated scent of the sheets, and she nestled herself into him.

"Why didn't you wake me earlier?" she asked, shifting as she leant against him. "You must be exhausted from driving that long."

"Alexa, love, it was only 3 hours," he said with a roll of his eyes. "I've been known to stay awake for 48 hours for several occasions."

"For what?" Alexa replied, looking surprised.

"We had a security breach a while ago during the Raoul Silva incident. I spent 48 full hours cleaning the network up. When you left for Buenos Aires, I didn't sleep until I got you back," he said.

"Jeez. Even I don't stay up for such long hours. Did you ever stay up longer than 48 hours?" she said curiously.

"Once, yes," he said. "Do you remember the thesis paper for the honors program in uni?"

"For Cambridge? Yeah, I remember that," she said.

"How long did it take you to finish?" he asked.

"Couple weeks, I believe. It was tedious," she said. "What about you?"

"Well, I put it off, and I stayed up for four days straight, working on my paper. It took me one day to finish research and three to write it," he said. Alexa fell silent and could only stare at him incredulously.

"And you still passed?"

"I got my Master's degree, didn't I?" Q said, looking unfazed. She rolled her eyes good-naturedly and leant into him once more.

"I don't know how I ever came in second to a genius like you," she sighed.

"Well, you're intelligent in your own way. Aside from that, you have combat skills that I'm certain surpass 007's," he said. "You could be the Quartermaster if you really wanted to."

"Are you kidding?" Alexa laughed. "I could never do it. I've seen everything you do, and I would never be able to handle it all."

"Oh, come now. It's not that hard," Q sighed.

"To you, it might not be. I've seen what you do, and it only gives me more respect for your job. It looks exhausting as hell to me," she mumbled as she burrowed under the covers. "I'll leave that job to my extraordinary man."

"Alright, alright. Get some rest, extraordinary girl," he chuckled, smoothing her hair back. Q could see her smile slightly, and she made herself comfortable in the bed.

It was quiet for several moments before a question burst forth from her lips. She had been longing to ask it for a little while now, but her emotions inhibited her from doing so. In such a sleepy state, she let go of her reservations and tilted her head up to look at him.

"Q," she said softly.

"What?"

"Being with you without living in fear of the strife from the world around us...is it possible?" she asked softly. "I mean, I'm an agent, after all. There'll always be something coming to kill us."

"Death is the hazard that all of us bear in the land of the living, but that never stopped us from carrying on. Just always remember, Alexa: you're possible with me," he said softly, with underlying strength in his voice. "If not, I'm willing to die trying to make that so because I know you would do the same for me."

His words caused her heart to quicken, and she smiled at the thought of what he was willing to do for her. "Alright, then," she said, seemingly invigorated by his words. "But remember, you won't die. Not on my watch. That's a promise, alright?"

"I know it's a promise you'll keep," he chuckled, smoothing her hair back to kiss her gently on the forehead. "Just don't do it recklessly."

"Come on, I'll be fine," she said playfully, rolling her eyes.

"If you say so," he said teasingly, sounding unconvinced.

"Oh, just go to sleep," she laughed as she pushed him in the shoulder. He merely chuckled and held her closer to him, until her eyes closed softly and she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**_(Kodino- 3:12 PM)_ **

Q's eyes slowly opened as he felt the woman in his arms shifting uncomfortably. Alexa broke away from him as she tossed and turned, and he drifted away, thinking that she just needed space to herself. His eyes fell shut once again and for several minutes, the only movements were Alexa's whenever she shifted in her sleep. These intervals of movement because spaced closer together more and more as time passed and after drifting back to a light sleep, Q was awakened by her growing sounds of fear.

He shot up in bed and immediately looked at the figure next to him, who was shifting in bed. "N-no!" she said, her voice nearing a shout as her movements became frenzied. Q's eyes flashed with alarm, and he turned towards her. She was vulnerable now, and he had to be strong to bring her back to reality. He placed his hand on her shoulder and shook her.

"Alexa, wake up. You're just dreaming!" he said firmly. His touch seemed to jolt her awake, and she shot up, letting out a startled scream.

For a moment, he couldn't speak and neither could she. There were tears in her eyes, and she put her hand on her mouth to suppress the sob in her chest. "Oh, god, I'm s-sorry," she choked out, trying to calm down.

"Don't apologize. Just come here," he sighed, sounding relieved. He held her tightly, and she let out a shaky sigh against him. "You remembered that night again, didn't you?"

She nodded and shifted uncomfortably in his arms. "It's worse when I'm really here. It's like it's not a dream anymore, like I'm living through it again," Alexa said.

She fell silent for a long moment, almost as if she didn't seem comfortable with showing this side of her to him. Alexa had been taught long ago to suppress fear, but she could not control it this time. It was an unexpected event that she reacted to without conscious thought, and she hated how volatile it made her feel. "I'm so sorry. I'm almost thirty, yet this place still terrifies me," Alexa confessed.

"To be fair, it has reason to. Have you ever seen a survivor of an event look back on the crime scene without an emotional reaction?" he replied.

"I guess you have a point," she said. "I never really recovered properly from everything, I suppose."

He ran his fingers through her hair before tilting her head up slightly to meet his eyes. "What happened here left a deep mark on you, but don't ever be sorry or hesitant to show your fear, alright?" he said.

"Am I doing that?" she said, blinking in surprise.

"It seems like it. I won't ridicule you for it, believe me, because all people (even me) fear something. The less you suppress it, the faster you'll heal," Q said gently. "And remember, it will pass. What matters is that you're alive to carry on your parents' memory today."

She nodded numbly in response, and he wiped away the tears off her cheeks. The tension in her eyes slowly began to dissipate, and she felt his lips touch her forehead. "Come on," he said, straightening up. He smoothed back her hair and looked down at her. "I know what'll make you feel a little better."

"What?" she replied.

"Food, obviously. I reckon you're starving," he said. "We can't cook here, so we need to make a visit."

"To Samoded? That's the only town closest here where we could get supplies."

"Yeah, I suppose. The new pass going through to the town will take us thirty minutes to cover, at least. I'll grab some ingredients, and anything else we might need," he said.

"Okay. Good idea," she said, straightening up to stare out at the afternoon sun. Without warning, she swung her legs off the bed and tossed a sweater over her head. "Let's visit Leo too."

"Will he recognize you?" Q said, pulling on a heavier coat.

"Probably. I looked more like my mum, and I'm sure he'll recognize me. If not, there were only two known copies made of this key, so I'll show it to him," she replied. Q nodded and led her downstairs, holding he by the hand as they passed the kitchen.

Alexa looked briefly at the kitchen, and she stiffened at the sight of the stained wood. She felt panic creep into her chest until she realized that Q was right. The most important thing was that she was alive to carry on her parents' memory. She had to be strong, even if it meant facing the site that had left a blackened mark on her memories. Though it would not be easy, she knew that with time (and the help of Q), she could finally let the pain go.

"Ready?" Q asked, raising an eyebrow as he stood in the doorway.

"Yeah," she said, giving him a small smile as she walked through the foyer. He took her smile as confirmation that she was alright for now and gladly led her outside. It was a small gesture, he realized while driving, but it was enough for him. With a little time and his help, she would be emotionally stable and ready to face the dangers ahead of them.

* * *

 

After returning from Samoded at five with their supplies, Alexa left Q at the house and drove down a dirt road towards a home she had not seen in years. She recalled that Leo lived on the outskirts of town in a blue house and was looking around to find it. It was getting dark, but at last she found her way to his doorstep.

Alexa parked the car next to the tree in his front yard and walked to the front door. It was relatively quiet, save for the barking of Leo's dog in the distance. She strode up the steps, ignoring the noise, and knocked on his door.

She heard the barking grow in volume as she stood on the doorstep and waited patiently for the owner of the house to arrive. Within seconds, the door opened, and she stared at the older man before her.

Leonid Novikov was an older gentleman, yet he was not as fragile as most older men seemed. His eyes were a hard shade of blue, and his brown hair was peppered with grey hairs. He had weathered skin and a rather beaten expression, as if he had seen the cruelty of the world in his youth. It was as if nothing could surprise him anymore, but he seemed taken aback by Alexa's presence.

"Hi," Alexa said somewhat shyly, waving at him. His brows furrowed as he stared at her, but he could not immediately place her identity.

"Good afternoon. Need something?" he said, stepping outside to greet her.

"Yes, actually. I need your help-" she began.

"Fair enough. Are you lost, or are you just a newcomer in town?" he said, looking confused. "You seem familiar, though I just can't place why."

"Not me. I lived in this town a long time ago, Uncle Leo. Perhaps you knew me," Alexa said, smiling slightly. She waited patiently for him to understand who she was and was met with a blank and vaguely wary stare. In fairness, she didn't blame his hesitance and clueless look, and she decided to make it clearer to him.

Alexa pulled a photograph out of her wallet and set it in her hand, along with her key. His eyes widened as he saw the figures in the photo and the key and stepped back.

"Is it really you, Alexa?" he wondered aloud as he stared at her like she was a ghost.

"I'm real, Uncle Leo. Don't be afraid," Alexa laughed. He let out a small cry and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"Bozhe moi. I never thought I would see you again. You look just like your mother," he began, his voice sounding small and awestruck. "Where have you been all these years?"

"It's a long story. Mind if I come in?" she asked. He hastily led her inside, urging her to sit at his kitchen table. Leo prepared two cups of coffee for each of them and sat down.

"You should have stopped by sometime. I would love to catch up with your parents, tell stories from the good old days," he said. "How are they, by the way?"

"Gone. They both died a long time ago," Alexa said softly. Leo's demeanor changed at this sudden news, and he let out a sigh.

"My condolences. You should have told me," he said quietly, his mood dampened by the news of his dead best friend.

"I couldn't, because there were complications," she replied.

"Like what?"

Alexa shifted slightly, taking a long sip of her coffee. The aroma of the strong black blend seemed to invigorate her and caused her to focus on the matter at hand. "Do you remember the track program? I was about four when I took the test," she said.

"I remember. It was a little bit before you left, wasn't it?" he said.

"Yes, and I left because of it. They said that I had qualified for an elite school, and mum and dad were happy about it until the soldiers showed up at our home," she said. "The elite school was a lie, and I had been accepted into Operation Chetiri, a program designated to create...you know, KGB-like soldiers."

"Like spies?" Leo said hesitantly.

"Yes. It was the Union's last attempt to stay in power, and each child that qualified was taken away from their parents. They killed mum and dad in the kitchen and took me away from the house to train me how to be what they wanted me to be," she replied.

Leo seemed surprised by the news, and he let out a sigh. "I had a feeling there was something fishy about your disappearance. They made us drop the case, no matter how hard your grandmother pushed to have it solved," he muttered.

"They?" Alexa echoed blankly, looking puzzled.

"You never heard? Your grandmother fought for a decent investigation, and the case went all the way up to the MVD," he said, taking a sip of coffee.

"The Ministry of Internal Affairs? Really?" Alexa said, looking surprised.

"Your grandmother and I took the case up with the regional Militsiya and to the Militsiya general," he said. "He took it up with the MVD, but they dropped it after two months, leaving everyone without an explanation as to why they dropped the case."

"What happened to you and grandmother?" she asked.

"I was fine, but your grandmother," he said, "realized there was something strange happening that involved the government, and you know what she's like. Even when she was my schoolteacher when your father and I were in school, she was always hot-blooded. She wanted to fight the system's bureaucracy and corruption and keep your memory alive, but they would never pass up a chance to kill her to keep their dealings secret. These are the people that almost killed her once, after all."

Alexa's eyes flashed with alarm, and she stared at Leo. "Are you kidding me? She never told me this!" she said.

"I'm afraid not. She was driving back from Onega after returning from a teacher's conference in Belgium in March of 1991. Tatiana left the airport and saw two cars following her every move. She tried to ward them off on the road just outside of Kodino, but she didn't make it home," he said. "They drove her off the road, into the river. Most of the truck she had was broken, and she made it out the shattered windshield. Her arm was broken, and she was bleeding, but she walked to my home for treatment."

"You treated her? Even after she walked into your house unexpectedly?" she said.

"Of course. It was what I did before," he shrugged.

"I didn't know that. Tell me more, Uncle Leo," she said, looking expectantly at him.

"I would be happy to. You never did get the chance to learn more about your parents," he smiled. "Well, your father and I were neighbors here in town. He was an only child like me, and he lived with his uncle. His parents were entrepreneurs that never visited. In turn, he always came over when he was lonely (which is, to say, a lot)."

"We were like brothers, really, and he helped keep me from being a hooligan," Leo chuckled. "Your mother and grandmother lived on the other edge of town, and we all went to school together here. Your grandmother was the maths teacher, and he fell in love with her daughter."

"When we graduated, we were all going different ways. Your mother was going to study journalism in Moscow and I was headed off to study medicine in Arkhangelsk. Your father wanted to be a doctor, but his parents wanted him to study economics. I believe he got in a spat with them, and his uncle helped him stay at Arkhangelsk with me. Later on, we were recruited as military doctors while your mother became a journalist for the Moscow Paper. That's why I was able to treat your grandmother. Never refuse an injured comrade is what they taught us, after all," he said.

"Oh, I see," Alexa said, looking down at her coffee. Her eyes drifted towards him, and she leant her head against her hand. "So, what happened to grandmother after she was treated?"

"Naturally, she was terrified. She couldn't stop crying or saying that she didn't want to disappear too. When she calmed down, we looked at all the options and decided that it was too dangerous to stay," he said. "Despite all the danger, though, she always believed your family was alive out there somewhere. We both did, so I helped her leave town."

"It was easy, really, since everyone thought she disappeared when they found her car in the river," Leo explained. "While they were investigating her disappearance, it was stated in her will that I was entrusted her assets. I sold her house and stored away her belongings, save for the ones she wanted sent to her. I agreed to take care of your house and kept it functional, in the hopes that you would be back again someday. I wired all of her money to an old friend of mine, and she went to France to pick up her funds and start her new life. From them on, she became Tatiana Grazinsky and left Tatiana Kazanovich behind."

"And for almost twenty two years, she was left not knowing what happened to me," Alexa said softly, staring down at the table.

"Until she found you," he said, sipping his coffee. "How did she do that?"

"Well, I left the program on my own by making them believe I was dead and went to London to start my own life. I got my degrees from university and worked with a computer security company for several years. I switched agencies later, but I still worked in computer security," she said vaguely. "While I was working, I met my boyfriend, and we were happy until the administrators of the program found me again. They forced my hand, and I had to make my boyfriend believe I was dead to keep him safe."

"Faking your death not once, but twice? That's not a good thing for your emotional state," he sighed.

"It probably isn't, but it's all I had," she mumbled. "Anyway, I was declared dead for the next nine months until my grandmother came to see Sherlock Holmes. She put him on the case, and he solved it and found me. I'm working now to eliminate Operation Chetiri."

"Is that why you're in Kodino?" he asked. "Are you running from them?"

"In a way, yes. I'm staying at my old house," Alexa said.

"There? You came back there, even after what happened?"

"I had to face it eventually," she said. "Anyway, I'm staying in there with my boyfriend, but nothing really works."

"I might be able to help with that. There's a local switch that I have to turn on to receive power. It should work, since I've been making the payments each month," he said, standing up.

"If it wouldn't trouble you, this would be perfect," Alexa smiled as she followed him.

"Trouble me?" he chuckled. "I don't want you sitting in the dark for the rest of your time here. Might as well make things comfortable for you, since you're alive."

She led him out to the front door, where he put on his coat and walked out. He climbed into her car without saying much, and she switched on the ignition without thinking much of it. Alexa's car sparked to life, and she drove onto the dirt path towards the main road.

It was quiet, as she drove, until he turned to her and spoke up unexpectedly. "Alexandra," he said quietly.

"Hmm? Yes, Uncle Leo?" she said.

"This program you were with...it trained you to kill people, didn't it? Is that why no one wanted us to know?" he asked.

"Yeah," Alexa said softly, looking uncomfortable with his statement. "They trained a batch of children like the KGB, so they didn't want anyone to know."

"Ah. It's a good thing you ran away from that life," Leo sighed. "Even when I was a young military doctor, I saw what those men did out there. They were the hollowed-eyed soldiers who never could escape their superiors' expectation of inflicting death upon others, even as they ran from eminent danger each day."

His words resonated with her, and she realized that this had never changed. She was still running, cheating death as she went and also inflicting death on others due to her agreement as a 00-agent. For the time being, she chose to acknowledge his words with a quiet hum and drove up the darkening road towards her home.

It was quiet as she stopped near the clearing, and she got out to take Leo inside. Alexa unlocked the door in a simple, swift motion and glanced over at Q, who stood in the kitchen that was illuminated by candles. He held a box in his hand and turned to look as she came in.

"Hi, Q. I'm home," she said as she kissed him on the cheek.

"It went well, I presume?" he said, setting the box on the counter.

"I brought Uncle Leo, didn't I?" she shrugged. Her eyes flickered to the man behind her, and she stepped to the side. "Speaking of which, I really should introduce you two. Uncle Leo, this is my boyfriend. Q, this is Leonid Novikov, my father's best friend."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Q said politely.

"The pleasure is mine. Please, call me Leo," he said, smiling slightly as he shook Q's hand. "I'm glad to see that someone's been keeping an eye on her all this time."

"Someone has to keep her from getting into trouble," Q said, with a twinkle in his eye.

"She always had a devious streak as a child. I'm glad to see that some things never change," Leo laughed as Q joined in. Alexa pouted comically in response and fought back a smile as Q's expression changed again.

"Oh, I'm only joking, love," he reassured her. "No day is ever dull with you around."

"Great to hear," she laughed. "Sounds like you caught on quickly."

"I'd rather not end up sleeping down here tonight," he muttered, returning to the tool box on the ground. Leo's eyes watched him for a moment before his gaze drifted up at the circuit box above Q.

"Ah, that's right. You needed electricity, didn't you?" Leo said, snapping back to attention. He headed over to the circuit box and with a screwdriver, he pried open to bottom panel. Underneath was a thick switch that he flipped on, causing a faint buzz to resonate throughout the house. Leo moved towards the lightswitch on his left to turn it on, and after a few moments and uncertain flickers, a soft yellow light filled the room.

"It's a bit dim. Will that be an issue?" he said.

"No, this is fine," Alexa reassured him.

"Alright. The water heater should be running now as well. The system's probably like mine, which runs on well water. It won't be too clear because there might be a little rust in the pipes, but it seems like you've thought of that," he said, eyeing several bottles of drinking water. "Will you two be fine here, then?"

"It'll be alright," she said, smiling slightly. "Thank you, Uncle Leo."

"It's my pleasure, Alexa," he said as he headed to the door. She followed him outside to her car and drove him home in silence, her mind drifting towards a million different thoughts. As she pulled up to his home, he slipped his coat on and a pair of gloves and gave her a small smile.

"It was a pleasant surprise, seeing you again. I really didn't know if you were still out there," he said.

"Well, I thank you for waiting. I didn't know if anyone would keep this place up and running," she said as she handed him his gloves.

"It was worth the wait," he said, smiling gently at her as he opened the door. "You'd better promise that you'll stay safe.

"Of course. Why would you say that?"

"I don't know what dangers you face in this world today, and I just want you to be careful, so that neither I nor your grandmother will be left waiting to know if you're alive ever again," he said softly. She became quiet and nodded in understanding.

"I promise," she said. "I won't leave you to wait anymore."

"Good," Leo sighed in relief. "You know where I'll be—just here in Kodino. Tell your grandmother to give me a call one of these days."

"I'll let her know. Goodbye, Uncle Leo!" she called as she waved at him. He waved goodbye in response, and she watched as he left the car.

She turned back and drove home to prepare for the days ahead. It was quiet as she walked into the kitchen and found Q testing out the water from the sink. Steam swirled around the warm water in the bowl, and she decided to leave him be for the time being.

Alexa headed upstairs and tossed bag of toiletries on the bed before heading into the bathroom to shower. The pipes shook slightly as she turned them on, but they quickly began to heat up. She stood quietly underneath the warm flurry of water before drying off and heading downstairs.

She padded into the kitchen and shared at quiet dinner with Q. As they ate, he quickly noticed that she was maintaining a careful demeanour around the spot where her parents died. It did not seem to affect her much, or at least she did not want it to.

As he climbed into bed that evening, he wished to ask her about how she felt, but he stopped himself. She was preparing herself for the turmoil that they could face ahead, and it was better to leave her to her own thoughts. For now, it would be best to support her as she remained here.

* * *

**_(December 18, 2013- 10:26 AM)_ **

Alexa woke up to the familiar scent of coffee floating through the house. She started up immediately and felt around for a presence next to her. Alexa stared up at the ceiling and figured that Q was downstairs preparing for the day.

She stared at the clock on her phone and wondered how she had slept through the night without interruption. The nightmares had not plagued her tonight, and she wondered why. Nevertheless, she chose to take it as a good thing and headed downstairs to meet Q.

The scent grew stronger as she stood at the top of the staircase. She strode downstairs and greeted Q as she took a seat at the kitchen table, which was covered in various papers.

"Morning," he said, kissing her on the cheek as he set down a cup of coffee in front of her.

"Morning. How long have you been up?" she asked.

"Not long. I just started breakfast," he said as a pot of soup bubbled behind him. "I had a bit of time, so I connected my computer via satellite signal and triangulated Pavlenko's location. He's still in Moscow, but there doesn't seem to be anything obstructing his schedule so far."

"Great," Alexa said as she took a sip of her coffee. He took a seat across from her and examined the papers on the table for a moment before shifting his gaze to her.

"So, what do you have in mind?" he asked. Alexa pulled out a large sheet from under her coffee of the base's blueprints.

"The Bolshoye base is shaped like a large rectangle, with a small courtyard in the centre. It's situated in between the forest and a lake. Guards patrol the fence and gated entrance, but there's a shipment of supplies that will be coming in tomorrow. The plan is to intercept the truck as it leaves the warehouse in Yemtsa at 3 PM. That's the last delivery of the day, so we'll tell them that we outsourced from Savinsky. The trucks are left there overnight, so we can grab it and take the supplies. It takes at least 2 hours to traverse the mountain road, so we can get there when it's dark."

"When we reach the gate and they flag us through," she continued, pointing on the map, "we'll head in through the back entrance, which leads directly to their storage room. Through the storage room is a hallway, with one camera monitoring the junction at the end. You'll take a left at the junction towards the end door that holds the monitor room, where you can alert me if any other guards come running."

"I'm supposed to leave you alone in a building with at least 40 guards on the premises?" Q said, raising an eyebrow.

"It'll be fine," she said breezily. "Just listen to the rest of the plan."

"While you're there, I'll head down this hall and take a right towards the staircase on the east side of the base. This will put me near the dormitories. From there, I can advance to the west side of the base. There's a fork in the road where I'll monitor and corner Pavlenko," she said. Alexa watched carefully for Q's reaction, and she could tell that he did not like the idea of leaving her to fight 40 soldiers.

"Look, can't I follow you up-" he began.

"Just stay and monitor me down there, in case we have any trouble," Alexa protested. "We need all of the guards eliminated."

"And what about the children too? What happens to them?" Q said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Well, how long has it been since they were put in the program?" Alexa said. She watched as he typed away at his computer until he found his answer.

"Not long. The information from your drive shows that the Agency bribed the head of the National Committee of Education to distribute an experimental aptitude test that every school took supposedly for research purposes. Over 60 children qualified, but they took only the top 20 scorers. From Pavlenko's emails, he decided that instead of killing the parents this time, they would make it seem like the twenty new recruits disappeared. The children, usually aged from 5-7, have been held and transferred to different warehouses around the country, before finally being delivered here two weeks before we arrived in Russia," he said.

"Okay," Alexa sighed, pressing a hand to her temples. "M wouldn't want us to keep them alive, but it's only been a month since they've disappeared and a few weeks since they began."

"Is that civil disobedience I sense?" Q said, raising an eyebrow.

"In a way. We can't just leave them to die, especially when they have a chance to go back home," Alexa muttered. "Even if we leave them to die and kill Pavlenko, the public still won't know about the program and the whole damned game might start all over again, just with new players."

"And the children? What would happen to them after this all blows over if we were to help them?" he replied.

"We would return them home to their parents. They would tell everyone of the program they were forced into, and sanctions would be made to deter anyone from doing this again," she said.

"And what of you? People will come for payback, Alexa, once they know the whole story and that you were the original assassin that they sent to kill people," Q protested. "This could all blow up, if we don't handle this consideration carefully."

"Come now, it's nothing we can't work through, is it?" Alexa said, sipping her coffee.

"I know. I'm just voicing my concern now," he sighed. She could see that he was worried not only for her well-being, but also for the safety of their future together. Alexa decided to calm his fears and lightened the mood by placing her hand on his.

"Well, you are deft at tying up these loose ends, so dazzle a girl with your brilliance, Mr. Holmes," Alexa said cheekily. "What's your plan?"

"Right, then," he said as a small smile remained on his lips. "So if we do get these children and their parents tell the media what happened, MI6 would have to take credit for the mission. No other country or organization could possibly explain the entire process we went through to catch the Agency."

"Alright, but what happens if they ask us how we did it?" she said. "Do we say what really happened, or change the truth?"

"We have to lie a bit, so that you'll stay safe," he said. "We'll have to tell them that we were researching the videos and who sent them, and we found a certain group associated to the dead victims. Information and inquiries were able to lead us to a "former worker" in the Operation Chetiri scheme."

"Ah!" Alexa said, her eyes lighting up. "I see what you mean. The former worker will have given you the scoop before going into protective custody, is that right?"

"Exactly. We'll feed them decommissioned information about the program, that the first batch of candidates ended with you and Peter. This next bit depends on your choice: if you want Peter to be the one to be tied to those videos of not," Q said.

Alexa was silent for a moment, before she shook her head. "Those aren't his crimes to answer for. Pin them on me," she said. "Besides, I'm marked on those files as deceased anyway, so they can't come after me anymore."

"Okay," he nodded. "It's one way we could explain this, but this way will keep you safe. People in Kodino will finally know what happened to you, if we succeed in tricking the world into believing us."

"Global manipulation? How devious," Alexa smirked.

"Too much?" he replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Not at all. I like it," she said, setting down her cup.

"I'll warn you, though- You will have to abandon Alexandra Nikolova for a new identity, though," he said.

"That's alright. It's nothing new. Maybe I was never really meant to keep that name after all, especially with everything that's been happening," she said softly.

"That's okay. I've already got a new surname for you," he mumbled as he stood up.

"What?" Alexa said, not hearing what he said.

"Nothing," Q called as he poured them two bowls of soup.

"Ok..." Alexa said distractedly as she looked at the papers in her hands. "What might happen after all of this?"

"Everyone will know about the program, and they should make sanctions so no one ever does it again. I'm sure some may petition for Pavlenko to answer for Operation Chetiri, but it's impossible. It would never go to the International Criminal Court," Q said.

"I hate to say it, but that's true. Even though Pavlenko was the head of an organization that broke 7 of the 16 crimes against humanity listed in the Rome Statute, the court still can't do anything because the operation took place in Russia, which hasn't ratified the Rome Statute," Alexa said.

"Right. If the Russian government doesn't make a trial, the court can legally strike, but only if Russia accepts the court's jurisdiction. Even so, the operation took place in 1989, long before the statute was even put into effect," Q replied as he set a bowl in front of her.

"Thanks," Alexa said as she picked up the spoon. "We'll just have to kill Pavlenko, then."

"You weren't intending on letting him live anyway, were you?"

"Nope," Alexa said firmly. "Not with everything that he's done. He'll end up like the others before him."

"Good," Q said, before taking a sip of his tea once more.

"Is it really?" Alexa said dryly.

"Not to them out there," Q said. "But when you're in the MI6, and you know that man could threaten the people's security, he has to go."

Alexa merely shrugged, knowing that this was the stark reality of the world of espionage- cause trouble, and you will answer for it. This was something she was prepared to make known to Pavlenko, in the same harsh way she had been taught years ago.

* * *

The remainder of that day was spent in preparation for the mission tomorrow. Q's equipment (mainly their weapons) had been tested by making a makeshift shooting range in the pasture. As Alexa cleaned and loaded her weapons, Q had connected to the security server on the base and installed tracers that he could activate remotely so they could enter the building undetected.

Alexa was quiet for the majority of the day, except for when she needed something from Q. She had been lost in her own thoughts and was mentally preparing herself for the bloodshed that could surely arise in the future. In her silence, she made a quiet promise to herself to help the young children in the base get out safely and return them home. She had known the feeling of being stolen away from the warmth of her family's love long ago, and it left a pain that she did not wish any child to undergo anymore.

Q noticed her silence and took it gratefully to retreat into his own thoughts. He had a subject that he wished to speak to her about, but he had no idea how to approach the topic. For one, he was in an area that was psychologically and emotionally traumatizing for her to be in, and there was no real way for him to lead into his desired subject. It was a matter that troubled him, but he knew that he had to speak to her about it before the mission.

That evening, Q sat in the living room with a stack of photo albums in his lap. He had already prepared for bed and had encountered a few old pictures. Q flipped through old photographs of Alexa's youth and found himself chuckling at a picture of her gleefully running barefoot around her father's clinic with a stethoscope.

"What are you laughing at?" Alexa called as she stepped into the room from the kitchen.

"These. You were endearing as a child," he said. She took the spot next to him and a smile lit up her face as she thumbed through a blue photo album.

"I remember a little bit of this one," she smiled. "Our adventure to the Black Sea, we called it. I was afraid to go near the water until mum brought me in."

"What about this one?" Q said, pointing at another photograph of a young Alexa sitting on the steps of a white house with her grandmother, father, and mother. She held a basket and was grinning widely in a faded yellow dress.

"That was Easter Day. We always celebrated it with dinner at Grandmother's house after doing the egg roll in town," she chuckled.

"What?" Q said, looking curiously at her.

"You know, you roll red eggs down a grassy hill," she said, looking confused.

"We hunt for them, not push them down a hill," he chuckled.

"Same difference. Still has to do with eggs," she said breezily. He nodded as she leant against him and flipped the page.

"You seemed so happy," he said. "It was your first time doing it, I assume?"

"It was. We were all so happy then," she said softly. "What a nice little life we had."

"We'll make a nice life of our own, hmm?" he said quietly.

"Sure," she yawned, not fully acknowledging what he had said. Alexa stood up, stretching slightly.

"It's early, but I'll head off to bed. We have a lot to do tomorrow," she said.

"Alright. I'll put these back," he said as he watched her go. He spent a few minutes downstairs, but found himself stopping to look outside before she went upstairs. Before long, he became lost in his thoughts and stood staring out the window in the living room, his gaze faraway from the snowflakes falling outside.

He shifted slightly but did not flinch as he felt Alexa's arms wrap around his waist. His body felt warm against hers, and his faint aroma of Earl Grey tea was more familiar and comforting than any scent she had known. Q turned his gaze away from the window and shifted his body to face hers. His fingers laced together to hold her in his arms and he smoothed her hair back.

"Why the cuddling? You've had me around all day," he teased.

"It's nothing. I'm just enjoying a quiet moment, that's all," she said, rolling her eyes with a small smile on her lips. "You coming?"

"Soon. I'll enjoy it while it lasts," Q said in response, kissing her on the forehead. She could feel his grip around her tighten slightly, and she let out a sigh as she leant against him.

"Q," she said, looking up at him. He did not respond and continued to look at the frozen world outside the window.

"Look at me," she said softly. His eyes drifted to hers, and he looked at her with a questioning looking his eyes.

"Yes?"

"Don't say that. We'll be fine out there," she chided gently as she smiled at him. He could not return her smile and retreated into silence, a sign that seemed to trouble her.

"But really, what if we're not? What if I lose you out there, or if you lose me?" he asked suddenly.

"You won't lose me, and I won't lose you. I won't let that happen, because you said it yourself. I'm possible with you," she said softly. He let out a quiet, contemplative hum before shifting uncomfortably against her.

"Alexa," he said softly, with a note of hesitance in his voice.

"Hmm? What?" she asked, turning her head slightly to look at him.

"There's something that I've been meaning to ask you," Q said, his eyes not meeting hers. She looked at him with a hint of worry in her eyes and wondered what was bothering him.

"Well, go on. What is it?" she said curiously. He did not seem to acknowledge her words and continued mumbling quietly.

"I mean, I've been thinking about it for the past few months, really, but the timing's never been great to ask. Your grandmother made me think of it again, and I reckon now is a better time than never-" he said nervously, fiddling with his fingers.

Alexa let out a chuckle and put a hand on his cheek. "Come now, what's made you so nervous? It's endearing, but it only makes me wonder what you're going to ask me," she said. He was silent for a moment before he let out a soft sigh.

"I suppose I should say it," Q said. "What sort of work do you do, Alexa?"

The question took her by surprise, and she wondered why he could be so nervous about such a thing. "Erm...well, you know that! I'm an MI6 agent," she said.

"Right. And what occupational hazard do you deal with most?"

"Death, naturally. Look, Q, I don't understand. Why are you-" she began. He quieted her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Just listen, alright? I'll explain it as I go," he said. She bit her lip and finally nodded, waiting for his explanation.

"Alexa, you face the possibility of death each time you leave for a mission, and I always worry while you're away. The only way I can ease that worry is by telling myself that you have something worth fighting for and more to come home to than an empty house," he said.

"Okay, go on," she said, sounding slightly confused.

"But those are just words, and I don't know if you feel that you have something that keeps you going and motivated to stay alive," he said.

"Oh, that's not true-" she began.

"For the time being, I've assumed this to be true," he said. She blinked and stared at him before letting out a sigh.

"And what do you plan to do about this?" Alexa said.

"I'd like to give you a better reason for you to avoid death," he said softly, before bending down and kneeling on one knee. She stared at him, looking bewildered, before her eyes flashed with recognition. His dubious errand, his question about her finger measurements, his mother's excitement all led to one thing, and she mentally berated herself for being so oblivious to the truth.

"Hang on, are you..." she began, her voice trailing off. He merely responded with a hopeful look that caused her to gasp sharply. "Holy shit, you're serious?"

"I haven't even done anything," he exclaimed in mock-protest, with a roll of his eyes.

"W-well...do it, then!" she stuttered, unable to find the right words to say. He shifted slightly and looked back up at her.

"Alexa, in the past year and thirteen weeks that I've known you, you've become one of the most important people in my life, and you are the only one who I'm willing to entrust my heart to. Very few people have found a place in my heart, but you're one of the only exceptions. You are gorgeous, intelligent, and the loveliest woman I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I've never been more afraid of losing anyone than I have been with you. So, I got you this," he said, pulling a small box out of his pocket. Q opened it to reveal a small diamond ring with a subtle silver band.

Alexa was unable to speak and felt tears filling her eyes. He had chosen her, despite the things she had done and the trouble she could lead him into. She couldn't believe that he was doing this, but she didn't mind that he was doing it either. "You're serious? Me?" she squeaked.

"Of course," he scoffed. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I just...I mean, I don't know what to think," Alexa confessed. "Are you sure? We've only been dating for a little while, and I've dragged you into a lot of trouble-"

"I don't care how socially inappropriate it is to marry a girl after only dating for a few months. I love you, and that's all that matters," he promised.

"And now? Really?" she said incredulously.

"Why I wanted to ask was because we both run the risk of death while we're here, and in the scenario that we both die, we might as well die with you knowing that you are this important to me. With this ring also comes a promise, that we'll both do our best to stay alive so that we can actually get married," he said. Q paused for a moment before looking up at her once more.

"Look, I know this is far from the ideal proposal. There are no flowers, no traditional candlelit dinner, or any of that. I'm even proposing to you in the place that traumatized you, for God's sake," he said, looking sheepishly at her. "The timing is terrible, but it's all I have, and I apologize for that."

"Q, you don't have to apologize for a good thing," Alexa said, laughing slightly despite her current emotional state. "Just ask me formally, and it'll be good enough for me."

"Alright, well...Alexandra Nikolova, will you marry me?" he said hesitantly. Her eyes were bright with joy and she nodded for the time being, unable to speak.

"Yes!" Alexa finally said, tears shining in her eyes. His eyes showed a look of relief, and he let out a sigh.

"That's wonderful. Thank you," he said, giving her the brightest smile she had ever seen on his face. He slipped the ring onto her finger and squeezed her hand gently. As he stood up, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

"No, thank you. I love you," she said, her voice muffled. Q squeezed her gently and looked at her.

"Come on, why are you hiding? No need to be shy," he chuckled, smoothing her hair back.

"I'm just happy, that's all," she said as she looked up at him. Her cheeks were a light shade of pink, and she gave him a grin. "Mind if I kiss you?"

"You're my fiancée now, so by all means, go ahead," Q smirked.

She gladly wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in to press her lips deeply against his. Q made no attempt at protesting and returned her kiss with equal fervor, happy that she had accepted his love. His grip around her waist tightened as he deepened their kiss, finding the faint taste of her cherry lip balm nothing short of exquisite. She let out a noise of surprise as she felt him pick her up and could not help but laugh as he twirled her around.

"I think you've made me the happiest woman alive, Q," she said breathlessly. "Thank you."

"I believe I should thank you for doing the same," he said, unable to keep the smile off his lips. As he led her upstairs, she stole a quick kiss before looking up at him once more.

"I can't believe I didn't notice, though," she said. "Everything was there: your errand, that question you asked me about my fingers, your excited mother...how could I be so oblivious to all of it?"

"I don't know. Maybe my powers of deduction didn't rub off on you after all," he teased, opening the door to the room.

"This was once, though," Alexa said offhandedly as she climbed into bed.

"Still counts," he chided gently as he wrapped his arms around her as they settled into bed. "Now, go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."

"I know, but I can't," she grumbled. "I'm too excited to sleep now, thanks to you."

"Just try, at least," he said. She let out a huff and nestled herself into him.

"Fine, fine. Good night, Q," she said with a smile on her face. "I love you."

"Good night, Alexa. I love you," he mumbled, kissing her on the forehead. "And I always will, no matter what happens tomorrow."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll most likely watch you kill someone at some point tomorrow, or possibly learn something unsavory about you tomorrow. I'm just saying I'll still love you, even if that happens. I promise," he said softly.

"Good to know. No matter what, I'll do the best I can to make sure we have the chance to make a nice little life of our own too," she said. "I promise on that."

"I know you'll keep it," he said, before his lips touched hers for the last time that night. In the air was a hope that they never said to each other, but always acknowledged before either one of them headed off to danger. Each kiss, no matter how sweet, always held an ounce of trepidation with it. The couple retreated silently into their own thoughts, with each one fearing the same thing—they hoped that this kiss would not be one of their last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who guessed it, you're right! They're getting married! (If they don't die first, of course...)
> 
> Well, what do you think? Will they beat Pavlenko? Will they stop Operation Chetiri for good? Tell me your thoughts and stay tuned to find out in the next chapter of Agent Chetiri!


	37. Chapter 36

_I wanted movement, not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice for my love._

_**-Leo Tolstoy** _

* * *

**_(December 19, 2013- 6:42 AM)_ **

The world was quiet and seemingly motionless as Q lay in bed next to Alexa that morning. He could only attempt to mirror that stillness to bury the feeling of anxiety rising up inside of him, all to some avail. His eyes drifted up and down his new fiancée's slender figure, and his finger unconsciously traced a faint scar on her left arm. This one's from a reconnaissance mission in Hyderabad, she had told him. In an attempt to distract himself, he took a count of each mark and tried to recall where they had come from. Q's fingertips drifted across a white mark on her neck and watched her shift slightly beneath him. He pulled his hand away as he glanced at his phone's clock and sat up to leave.

A hand darted out unexpectedly to grab his wrist, and he looked back down at the woman next to him. "No," she mumbled stubbornly.

"No to what, Alexa?" he said, turning back to look at her.

"I'm not prepared for you to leave me yet," she said. "Just stay here a bit longer. Please?"

A soft smile crept onto his lips, and he let out a quiet hum of agreement. He pulled the blankets around them and held her against him as he smoothed her hair back. Though no words were exchanged as they lay in each others' arms, no words were needed. Both of them knew that a moment like this was a chance for them to simply enjoy each others' company. It was a peaceful, simple gesture, but underneath it lay a uncertain and uncomfortable tension that neither of them wanted to acknowledge out loud. This could very well be, if they weren't careful, the last time they could lay together peacefully. It was a thought that terrified the couple, leading them to simply leave it unsaid and unseen.

The feeling of Q's fingers in her hair was comforting and familiar, almost making her fall asleep once more. She resided comfortably in his grasp, not wanting to let a moment so sweet pass so soon. It was early still, and she figured that she could let this go on a bit longer. Yet as time passed, she willed herself for wake up and prepare for the day.

She blinked sleepily for a moment or two before giving him a small smile. "Good morning," she yawned.

"Good morning, Alexa. Or shall I say, future Mrs. Holmes?" he teased.

"Not yet," she chuckled as she kissed him on the cheek. "Just wait a bit more."

"For what?"

She paused for a moment before looking back at him with a new answer on her lips. "For it to be official, of course," she explained. "No one knows but us, and I'd hardly call that official."

"It's official enough for me," he said breezily. "Are you coming down?"

"I suppose I have to get up eventually," she replied, running a hand through her unruly hair. "Not like I really want to right away. It is quite nice up here with you."

"It is rather peaceful here," he said as he looked out at the snow falling soundlessly outside. "Much better than the strife outside, don't you think?"

"Definitely," she mumbled in agreement. "The odds are a lot more variable out there."

He hesitated momentarily, wondering if he should say what both of them were thinking. The odds were most certainly unfavorable for them, and it was a rising concern for the mission. Nevertheless, he chose not to trouble her and returned to a platonic state of mind for the time being.

"We'll be alright as long as we remember," he said as he headed towards the door with her. "what goal we're working towards."

She glanced down at the diamond ring on her finger and smiled softly. "Yeah. I'll definitely remember," Alexa said, following him down the stairs and into the kitchen. The wooden staircase creaked slightly as she stepped off the step, and she proceeded towards the kettle in the sink to boil water.

As she stirred a cup of steaming liquid at the table minutes later, she propped herself up on her elbow and examined Q as he turned on his laptop. "What are you up to?" she said, handing him a cup of steeping Earl Grey from the counter behind her.

"I'm going to check if everything's on schedule. Pavlenko was set to leave for his visit from Germany this morning, and I need to see if he's still doing that," he replied as the sound of clacking keys filled the air.

"Sounds good," she said as she took a sip of her coffee and filled her gun with bullets. Thus the couple sat in a content silence, with one cleaning and stocking the weapons and the other undoubtedly hacking into something to attain the necessary files. To outsiders, they seemed like a mad pair but to them, this was perfectly normal. Life was like this in the MI6, and neither of them seemed to mind that things were this way.

"I found something," Q piped up unexpectedly. She raised an eyebrow, but glanced up at him.

"Yes?"

"He's coming from Germany today, but his flight is leaving earlier due to a cancelled meating. His flight will land in the local airport at Mirnyy at around 3, and we can depart at around 3:30 to give him a lead. An email from his secretary confirms that he'll be there until eight before he goes back to Mirnyy to fly to St. Petersburg," he said, standing up to show her the map and the emails.

"Golden opportunity, then," Alexa muttered. "Good that you noticed, though."

"I'm the logic of this operation, aren't I?"

"Perhaps," she said, her lips quirking up in an amused smirk. "You the brains, me the brawn. Oh, how the tables have turned."

"Not to say that you don't have both, love. You're considerably stronger in the brawn department," he muttered as she felt his lips brush against her ear. "Of course, I do like my women with quick thinking and logic."

"Same goes for you, darling," she smirked as she polished her pistol casually. "You're much stronger in the logistics department, but you know what I like. I quite fancy a man who can bite back, just like you."

"It probably sounds like a mad pair to anyone but us," he chuckled as he passed her the next weapon in her case. "But it's what makes this work, isn't it?"

"Precisely. We make a beautiful symbiosis," she replied, a smile remaining on her lips as she progressed further in her work.

The remainder of the morning was spent in preparation for the big mission. It was a quiet start, but both of them were too lost in their own thoughts to notice. As Q sat on his computer to finalize their movements and performed other errands, Alexa had taken the liberty of stretching, shooting her weapons, and reviewing the layout once more. Her eyes drifted over a sheet of blue paper for nearly an hour, only stopping to heat up lunch and to glance up occasionally at the source of the sounds outside. A small smile remained on her lips as she watched Q firing at a makeshift target on a piece of plywood they had taken from an old bookcase in the basement. He's getting much better, she mused quietly as she watched him practice.

Alexa leant against the window with her eyes on him and only snapped out of her reverie when he came back inside. She flinched at the sound of the door slamming open and relaxed as he came in. "Not too shabby, Q. You're getting much better," Alexa smiled.

"You've left your mark on me, then," he said as he reloaded the gun and put it in his breastpocket. "Not like you haven't done it already."

"Of course. How else would I let everyone know that you're mine?" she laughed as she set lunch on the table.

"Public displays of affection. Not too drastic, of course," he chuckled as he stirred the tea in his cup.

"I could do it," she shrugged as she sat down. "Not like you have to, though."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Are you kidding me? I know what you Holmes boys are like," she scoffed. "You're terribly private about your feelings. On the outside, you seem completely emotionless and focused on your mission, but you feel too. It's just buried down there in the privacy of your mind."

"Quite right, too. Although it is...nice to let people know you're mine every once in a while," he said, hesitating slightly before he said the words.

"I understand. I relish each time you do it," she said, smiling lightly at him.

"As it should be," he smirked. They ate a relatively quiet lunch, before another question rose from his lips as they sat together, drinking coffee.

"How is it coming along?"

"Good, so far. You just need to agree with my final plan, and we can go," she replied.

"Alright. Hit me," he said, turning his gaze towards her.

"Like I said before, we'll leave at noon. I'll leave some of our less important things with Uncle Leo, and he'll mail them back to us. Meanwhile, we'll go wait for the truck in Yemtsa. It's supposed to leave the warehouse at 3, and we'll call up the man in charge and let him know that the order was cancelled and that we outsourced from Savinsky. Since it's the last delivery of the day, we'll take the truck in the lot and drive to the Bolshoye Base," she said.

"Seems fair enough. Pavlenko needs a lead, though, so that he doesn't see us following him," he said.

"Right. His flight arrives in Mirnyy at 3:00, so we'll leave at 3:30. Once we get there, we'll be asked to go through to the back, where we can take out the guards. I'll head up and take out Pavlenko and his guards while you keep an eye on me with the control room cameras," she said. "And don't try to stop me; we both know that one of us has to keep an eye on things."

Q was silent for a long moment before he finally nodded. "You're right, but it's not like I want you to be," he replied. "And the children?"

"I'll let them go. Keep an eye on them as they head to the back of the truck," Alexa said. "It'll be parked far enough away from harm."

"Sounds fair enough. One thing though," Q said as he took a sip of his tea. "I'll be sending a signal back to the others at the Q-Branch to be on standby as we go in, in case we get into trouble."

"Okay, that's fine. Other than that, I think that's it, then. I'm pretty much ready, save for lunch," she said, leaning back in her chair.

"Right. You can get ready. I'll take care of things here," he replied as he stood up with their plates in his hands. Her eyes lingered on his figure for a moment, and she found herself staring at him as she sat and drank her coffee. It was quiet, until his voice seemed to pull her out of her reverie.

"Alexa, what are you staring at?"

She blinked in confusion, before returning her gaze to his eyes. "You, of course," she replied with a shrug.

"Not much to look at, I'm afraid," he joked as he turned back to his work.

"Oh, there's plenty for me to look at from here," she muttered with a grin on her face as she sipped the last of her drink. Alexa stood up and placed her cup in the sink and let out a squeal as his arm darted out unexpectedly to keep her from leaving.

"Come now, don't think that I didn't hear that," he murmured in her ear.

"Oh no, you were supposed to," she smirked. "I don't think you give yourself enough credit in that department. Not every man can have an aesthetically pleasing arse like yours."

His comment caused her to laugh, as if he didn't seem to believe her. "Sometimes I wonder why I keep you around," he chuckled, setting down the cups in the cupboard to place this other arm around her.

"It wouldn't be as fun without me," she said, looking up slightly at him. "You wouldn't let me go, would you?"

Alexa was met with an unexpected silence, and she turned around to look at him with a questioning gaze. "Q?" she said. He didn't answer once more, and she nudged him gently. She felt his grip tighten slightly around her, and she felt his cheek brush against the back of her neck.

"Never," he mumbled. "No matter what they try to do, we're possible together, and I'll do my best to keep it that way. I'll be damned if I let anything happen to you."

She smiled softly and planted a quick peck upon his lips. "Good answer. And I know that's a promise you'll keep," she said, pulling him by the arm.

"I wouldn't dream of forsaking it," he said softly, peeking down at the woman in his arms. "I love you too much to do that."

His words sent a rush of euphoria through her veins, and she could not help but smile. "I love it when you say that," she said cheerily.

"When I say what?" Q teased.

"Oh, you know what I meant," Alexa laughed, punching him gently in the arm. "Now, come on. Let's get ready to go."

"As you wish," he smiled, following her upstairs. She led him back into their bedroom and took the bag that he handed her. It was full of various weapons, and she picked out the ones that she would keep on her. As he went into the bathroom, she slipped on a plain white shirt with her Kevlar undershirt underneath and a pair of light jeans. As she sat on the bed with a pair of boots in her hand, she watched Q enter the room with his hand closed into a fist.

"What's that?" she asked, lacing up her shoes.

"I believe this was your mother's," he said, pulling out a necklace with a small ruby. "You could put your ring on here, keep it out of harm's way."

Her eyes softened at the mention of her mother's keepsake, and she took the necklace gingerly into her fingers. "Good idea," she said as she placed her engagement ring on the chain. "I'll keep it close to my heart that way."

"You're so sentimental," Q chuckled, placing his clothes in his suitcase.

"Oh, shush," Alexa laughed, tossing him a pair of pants. "You have your moments too."

"I meant it in a good way, love. It's rather endearing, knowing that even a trained assassin can be cheesy at times," he replied, shutting the lid on his case.

"Same goes for you, mister," she replied, leaning slightly over the bed. "It's cute, really, knowing that sentiment like that can exist in a heart as guarded and stoic as yours."

"Don't be mistaken, though. It's a sentiment that's not for everyone," he replied as he began wiping the surfaces clean of fingerprints. "It's only for you and my family."

"And Kate Winston once, as I found out," she muttered jokingly. Alexa figured that he didn't hear her, given by the silence that followed. The only thing that caused her to stop as she wrapped the bedsheets back in the plastic wrapping was the fact that she spotted Q unmoving from his position at the desk.

"Q?" she said questioningly, her eyes drifting towards him.

"That was once. Not anymore," he said in a low voice. His tone was devoid of all emotion, and it made his demeanour even more unreadable. It took her a minute to realize that he had heard her muttering, and her face flushed pink. She didn't know what to say immediately and backed away slightly as he turned around to face her.

His eyes held a troubled look, and she bit her lip in worry. She had never incited such a response from him, and it worried her. "I loved her once, but I'll never love her again. It's just you, and it always will be," he said firmly as his fingers drifted to the necklace around her neck. "Never forget that. Please."

Despite feeling a distinct hesitance toward him, Alexa managed to tear her gaze away from the floor to look up at him. "Of course I'll remember that, Q. You've done plenty to let me know," she said softly as her fingers touched his cheek.

"Then why did you say that?" he said, looking confused.

She let out a sigh and shook her head. "It was supposed to be a joke to lighten the mood, but I screwed it up," she mumbled sheepishly. He saw her hesitate before placing a light kiss on his cheek and looked up at him.

"Sorry about that. It was a terrible joke, and I am fully aware that you love me. Why else would any man willingly follow me into the Russian wilderness to kill someone?" she said. Q was thrown off by her apology, but he felt his discomfort fading away as quickly as it had set in. This was his Alexa, and he knew that she could be as bad as him at times in terms of socially acceptable comments.

"It's alright," he sighed, smoothing her hair back to return her kiss. "I've made countless improper quips of my own, and you've dealt with them just fine. It would be senseless not to do the same."

"I was never too strong in proper social interaction, was I?" she said, with a small smile on her face.

"Oh, please. Like I'm any better," Q said, with a smirk on his lips.

"We're just two idiots in love, trying to figure it out," she said, her grey eyes meeting his. "No matter how badly we screw up, we'll get it right eventually."

"I don't doubt that," he said softly, wrapping his arms around her so that his lips were near her cheek. To his surprise, it was her who took the initiative, and she pressed his lips onto his. She found it fun to tease him and watch as he fought for dominance in this situation. Like always, he was gentle, yet there was an unexpected sense of boldness and restlessness to his kiss that she had not noticed before. Alexa's heart raced as she felt his tongue dart out against hers, and there was a surprising sensuality to him that contrasted his initial appearance.

It wasn't long until her back was pressing against the wall and her arms were wrapped around his neck. He was becoming much less controlled with his kisses, and she responded with by letting her hands wander where they decided. She felt him pull away slightly, and he rested against her.

"Overall, I consider this a suitable apology for earlier," he whispered into her ear.

"Of course," she said. "Nothing says "I'm sorry" better than a good snog."

"That's logic I won't argue with," he chuckled, ruffling her hair. "Now, come on. You've been distracted enough."

"Correction—I'm the one that distracted you," she smiled, kissing him once before pulling away. He didn't seem to argue with her as he stepped out of the room, and she continued her work of cleaning up the house. All of the items that they had used before were returned to their original resting places and wiped clean of fingerprints. As the time approached noon, she cleaned up the kitchen and turned off the electricity and water, leaving nothing but a darkened home once more.

"Ready to go?" Q said as he stood in the foyer with their luggage. For a moment, he thought that she hadn't heard him, as she was standing quietly and looking at the house. Alexa seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, and she touched the banister gingerly as she glanced into the living room and finally into the kitchen.

Her eyes rested on the spot where she had seen her parents die, and he could see her gaze hardening as she looked at it. Alexa stared at it silently and acknowledged what she was going to do at the Bolshoye Base today. Years of turmoil was finally boiling down to one mission, and with this, she could finally put the memory of her parents to rest.

"Mother, father, I'll end this for you," she thought to herself as she gazed at the spot for a little while longer. Q could tell that she was up to something and decidedly stayed silent to let her reconcile her past fears. After several moments, he heard her mutter something unintelligible in Russian before she turned back to him.

"Sorry about that. I think we're good to go," she said as she walked towards him. Alexa picked up a suitcase off the ground and looked up as Q's fingers intertwined with hers.

"We'll come back someday," he said, leading her outside.

"I'd like that," she said, a small smile creeping onto her lips. "We'll come back to always remember them."

"Their memory lives on in you too, Alexa," he said gently as he looked back at the house. "With everything that you've gone through, it's safe to say that you won't let that die out easily."

"I wouldn't dream of it," she said as she took her seat in the driver's spot. The car sparked to life beneath her, and she looked at him once before deciding that they were ready for this. They were ready to handle whatever the future held for them, whether good or bad. With that thought in mind, she drove away, leaving her home as nothing but a fading figure in the distance.

* * *

**_(Bolshoye Syamgozero- 5:23 PM)_ **

A beaten white truck ambled down a forested road, the bright headlights cutting through the darkness before it. Alexa sat at the driver's seat as Q remained next to her, typing rapidly on his phone. They were only five minutes away from the base, and there was a tense silence that hung in the air.

"How's the signal?" Alexa said suddenly as she took a turn into a clearing near the lake.

"I've relayed it back to everyone at the Q-Branch. William and Ryan are on standby, as well as M and the rest of the team," he said.

"Did M have any special instructions for me?"

"No survivors are to be taken," he said gravely. "That's all."

"Aside from the children, I'll be sure to follow that," she muttered. "What about backup?"

"We have backups in Savinsky, so if anything goes badly, we've got a helicopter about fifteen minutes away," he said.

"Nice to know we're not alone," she muttered as she approached the gate. Alexa rolled down the window and nodded affirmatively at the guard.

"Evening," the guard said as she rolled up to the checkpoint. His eyes flickered with interest as he noted that it was a woman delivering goods to them, not a man.

"Hi," Alexa said, extending the clipboard towards the guard. "We brought the rations shipment from Yemtsa."

His eyes drifted over her appearance for a moment before snapping back to attention. He took the clipboard in his hand and examined the papers. "Where's Erik? He usually brings us the goods," he said.

"Erik took off early tonight. It's his niece's birthday, and I took over," she explained.

The guard merely shrugged and signed the paper with a lazy gleam in his eyes, taking what seemed to be an eternity. He handed the papers over to her and his eyes flicked over to Q. "Who's the passenger?" he said.

"He's our rookie. Old man Matveyev told me to take him along for training," she said, flashing him an unassuming smile.

"Make the rookie do the manual labour, eh?" the guard smirked. "Not a bad idea."

"Whatever gets the job done," Alexa said casually. He could only chuckle in response and waved her along without a second thought. Alexa closed the window and proceeded towards the back entrance.

"Rookie?" Q questioned, looking amused.

"Like I said: whatever gets the job done," she said nonchalantly.

"I suppose so. Doesn't surprise me, though, that you had that effect on the guard," he smirked. "He seemed to fancy you."

"You're not jealous, are you?" she teased as she parked the car.

"Of course not. I know you're mine through and through," he replied, his eyes drifting to the chain around her neck. Alexa knew what he meant and slipped him a quiet smile, before turning off the engine.

"Ready?" she said.

"I should be asking you that," he replied. "Are you ready?"

"I am," she said without hesitation. He could see a glint of confidence in her eyes, and he placed a hand on hers.

"I'll do my best to help keep you safe, but promise me you won't be reckless," he said, with a hint of worry on his face.

"Of course," she said. "You mustn't worry so much about me. Just trust me now, alright?"

He was silent for a moment, before he nodded affirmatively. "I trust you," he said softly. She watched him fall silent once again before he placed an unexpected hand on her cheek. "And I want you to remember, Alexa, that I'll love you no matter what circumstances may arise."

"No matter how terrible the things you did before were, or what Pavlenko tells me, I'll love you the same way that I do now. Understand?" he continued, his blue-green eyes meeting hers.

A smile crept onto her lips, and she nodded, unable to speak for a moment. She paused before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, and took his hand into hers. "I understand, and I'll love you too, even after what happens today," she said, intertwining his fingers into hers. Alexa was quiet before a sudden thought occurred to her that caused her to look up.

"You know, I grew up being told not to love, as it would lead to nothing but guilt and regret. Yet with you, I feel as if I regret nothing. I am lucky to love and to be loved by a man like you, and I never thought I could be happy this way, especially with all I've done," she said quietly. "So, I'll give you a promise of my own. I'll do whatever I can to make this love exist without fear of interference from others. It may not be safe, nor legal, but it'll put those fears to rest for good."

"I know that's a promise you'll keep," he said, squeezing her hand gently. Q paused for a moment, before squeezing her hand once more, for the last time that night.

"Let's go," he said, with renewed strength in his voice. She nodded and grabbed a pistol from the bag, several clips, and a silencer. Alexa tossed Q his gun and the two strode out of the vehicle.

She popped open the back doors of the truck for the children and strode across a long clearing of grass to the back entrance, where a guard ushered them inside. "Where are the papers? We need to determine what packages we're receiving," he snapped, looking displeased.

Without hesitation, Alexa pulled out her pistol and fired a muffled shot at his heart, causing him to fall into the darkened corner. Q had watched her wordlessly, and it made her somewhat nervous to know that he was watching the darkest part of her unfold, the side that she preferred to keep away from him.

She followed Q as he darted in and out of the shadowed crates. The low hum of the guards' chatter was the only sound that filled the night air and was also the sound that distracted her from her gnawing sense of fear. Alexa swallowed her hesitation and ducked behind the shadow of a box to pull aside a guard. He let out a yelp as she placed a hand over his mouth and twisted his chin to the side with a quick cracking motion. The guard's gun clattered to the floor and within minutes, more had followed to check the source of the noise.

She heard the unmistakeable sound of silenced gunshots from behind her and watched as Q eliminated three men aimed in their direction. Alexa nodded silently at him, and he motioned for her to follow him towards the hallways.

As the entered the beginning of the white hallway, Q glanced over at the woman next to him. "Chances are, they haven't noticed yet. Once we do get caught, I'll split up towards the monitor room. Got your communicator?"

"Got it," she said, pointing at the earrings attached to her earlobe. He rounded a narrow corner with her in tow, and his heart jumped as he caught a glimpse of a tall, brown haired guard before them. The man, who had not expected to find unknown visitors, labelled them as intruders and grabbed his two way radio.

"Sir, we have intruders-" he began. Q didn't let him finish his sentence and aimed for the man's head, leaving nothing but a bloodstain on the wall to define this guard. Alexa heard the sound of something akin to a siren in the distance and turned towards Q.

"I have to head off. The security room should be at the end of this hall," she said, stepping over the dead man's body.

"Go on, then. But you'd better bloody well be careful," he muttered. She nodded at his request before dashing down a corridor to the east.

Q examined the intersection of the corners before advancing down a series of turns that would lead to the monitor room. He had seen a camera on this hallway, so he advanced with caution towards the closed door. A gunshot startled him to his knees and he ducked to avoid the hail of gunfire that followed. Q used a guerrilla tactic of hide and shoot to combat the men hiding in the Monitor Room and shoved the man and woman aside into the hallway as they fell to the ground in their bloodied uniforms.

He took a seat in the darkened room and glanced up at the monitors. At the moments he saw Alexa firing the semi-automatic at a group of men in the courtyard. "I'm here," he said as he watched her advance down another narrow shortcut.

"Good. You're out of the way, so they won't think of getting to you. In the meantime, what's the status of the guards outside?" she said as she dashed towards a corner.

"Not good. Hang on," he said. She heard the distinct sounds of four scattered gunshots, labored grunts, and footsteps over the line as she reloaded her gun. He came back a moment later, sounding slightly winded.

"Done. I see you in the eastern corridor. There's a set of men coming to your left," he said. Alexa looked around and ducked against a desk in the hall, only leaping out to attack the men as they approached. She used the pipe on the low ceiling above her to plant a resounding kick to one man's face and ducked quickly as the other man attempted to fire a shot at her. Alexa swept low, knocking both men to their feet and firing a shot to eliminate the threats that remained in front of her.

"What's going on upstairs? Are there any more for me?" she said as she caught her breath and advanced towards the metal staircase.

"Pavlenko and the others are trapped upstairs with you down here. It seems that they're still scrambling to get to the east end of the base. There are two men coming from the southeast corridor, so you'll see them as you round the corner now," Q said. Alexa kept close to the wall before darting out and firing a warning shot at her newest targets. She heard the click and succession of bullets that came with the semi-automatic gun in their hands and could only wait until the noises passed to fire again. Alexa landed a hit on one man's forehead, but hissed painfully as a bullet grazed her forearm. She ducked as the bullets came flying once more and caught the man off guard with a shot to his foot. He cried out in pain, and she took this opportunity to eliminate him from her sight. With a dull thud, he fell to the floor, and she dashed back towards the staircase.

"Are you alright?" Q said, sounding worried. "I thought I saw him hit something."

"It grazed my arm, but it's nothing major. 'Tis but a flesh wound," she said absentmindedly as her footsteps pattered up the stairs. "How's the status up here?"

"Fine, so far. There are four guards on the way from the southwest hallway. For now, send the children down; I'll take care of them," he said.

Alexa let out a grunt in response as she pushed open the heavy metal door leading to the dormitories. She was met by twenty pairs of watching eyes and motioned for them to get up. "Children, it's time for you to go," she said loudly. "Go as quickly as you can down the stairs and to the end of the hallway. There'll be a man waiting for you down there to take you home, alright?"

Immediately, the room was filled with excited chatter and she ushered them down the stairs. Alexa watched a young girl trip in the din of the fray and picked her up. She saw that the child's eyes were filled with tears as she looked up at Alexa. "Go on. It'll be okay," Alexa said as she ushered the child towards the stairs. She knew that the younger ones were the most afraid and motioned for them to go. A pang of guilt struck her as soon as she heard the screams from below, as she had left a trail of bloodied corpses on the way up here. These children would never forget that sight, but there was nothing she could do to ease their pain.

"They're on their way. Lead them out to the truck," Alexa said as she ducked into the dormitories and reloaded her gun.

"I'm on it. Think you can manage for a bit?" he said, his voice crackling over her receiver.

"It's just four men right now. I think I'll be okay," she said as she stood back up. From that moment on, Q heard nothing but the sound of her breaths and distant gunshots over the receiver. As he instructed the children to hide in the back of the truck, he heard a sharp sound of feedback over the receiver and Alexa's cry of pain.

"Alexa? What's happening?" he said as he burst through the back entrance and sprinted back down to the monitor room. He heard unintelligible noises over the receiver, followed by the disheartening sound of static over the receiver.

"Oh, shit," he muttered under his breath as he threw open the door. He stared up at the blackened screens and immediately realized that they had shut down the systems from the main control room upstairs. He searched the room desperately for any other source of power, but found none. He grabbed the pistol off the table and bolted upstairs without a second thought, terrified at what could be happening to Alexa.

Q stormed up the stairs and entered the northeastern corridor of the base. He heard a succession of gunshots in the distance and rushed towards the sound of the danger, meeting various guards as he advanced towards what seemed to be the southwestern corridor.

"Shit, shit, shit," he muttered under his breath as he dove behind a desk in the hallway. He should have never agreed to let her go alone, as it gave way to problems like this. Q knocked aside a man headed towards him ruthlessly, smashing his head against a wall with a blow from his elbow. He used the man as a shield and fired at the four other men that had scattered themselves in the hallway.

The man in his hands glared at him and attempted to twist his arms back but was met with a cold glare from Q. "Move aside," he snarled, tossing the man to the ground. Q pressed down on his chest with his foot and shot the man before turning away. "You're not my priority."

A familiar cry distracted him, and he rushed toward the source of the noise. As he approached the corner near the northeastern part of the base, he caught a glimpse of Alexa wrestling on the ground with another guard. They were fighting over the gun that had skidded across the floor. Q took matters into his own hands and aimed carefully before hitting the guard on the floor with a bullet.

"Come on," he said, shoving the dead man off her chest and helping her up.

"Thanks," she said breathlessly. "But why are you here? I thought you were down there-"

"They cut off the main power for the monitor room. I had to come up to see what happened to you," he explained.

"Alright," she said, letting out a sharp cough. She advanced down the narrow hall with him next to her, turning at each sound they heard. "How many left?"

"Should be eight for the whole base," he said, kicking aside a chair that had been strewn carelessly across the floor. "Do you still have bullets?"

"I have enough," she said. "I'm getting low, but we'll be alright."

"We'll need them for this. Four, if not, five, will likely be here," he said as he stopped in front of a room marked as Administration. "Ready?"

"Let's do it," Alexa said, with a glint of determination in her eyes. Together, they stormed the room and ducked beneath a desk to fire at the remaining targets. As Q went up to fire a shot, Alexa remained behind to cover for him, leading for an efficient system of elimination. She watched him turn towards her and point a gun in her direction, causing a brief feeling of panic to arise in her chest. Alexa heard the sound of a body falling down behind her, and the feeling subsided as quickly as it had come.

"Nice to know you've got my back," she said as she stepped over a fallen cabinet.

"It's what I'm supposed to do," he said, giving the files on the counter a cursory glance. Alexa advanced forward and held the pistol in her hand, letting out a noise of frustration

"He's not here. Where could he have gone?" she said, glancing over at the barred windows on the walls.

"We're missing three others, not counting Pavlenko. Come on," he said as he grabbed her by the wrist. She followed him down the hallway and stopped dead in her tracks as she saw Pavlenko step out in front of them. He had a gun pointed at them, as the guard next to him had one as well. Alexa and Q turned to dart into the adjacent hallway, but an audible and familiar click stopped them from moving. Q felt the barrel of a gun pressing against the back of his head, and he shot a glance at Alexa, who was staring at Pavlenko.

"Well, well," Pavlenko smirked as he approached them. "Long time no see, my dear."

"Hello, Pavlenko," she said, her voice sounding dreadfully impartial and controlled. "It's been far too long."

"That it has. And who is this? Why, this can't possibly be the man you've claimed. Silly of you, bringing an attachment to the scene of the crime, especially when he's not included in our little game," he smirked.

"The attachment has a name," Q said, looking nonplussed. "And for the record, you included me in this when you first threatened her life and mine. Don't think that this was her matter to handle alone."

"Oh, dear," Pavlenko chuckled. "It seems she's made a good attachment. All the better to lose, am I correct, Alexa?"

"Leave him out of it. If any blows should be dealt, it should be upon me," Alexa said sharply.

"You've wrecked the facility I worked hard to invest in, along with Grigori, Katja, and Mihael. You've lain waste to millions of dollars, and I intend to deal as many blows as I please," he hissed, picking her up by the collar. Pavlenko tossed her to the ground roughly and kicked her in the arm, causing her to flinch.

"Bring them to the boiler room," he said, placing his hands in his pockets with a smirk on his lips. Oh, how he loved to watch these lowly people suffer! It was much more entertaining when they were begging for his mercy, an emotion that he never seemed to give.

Q was jabbed with the gun roughly and he glanced over at Alexa. He motioned towards Pavlenko with his chin, and she caught the gist of what he was thinking. She could see him formulating a plan of his own and made the same motion, to let him know that she was doing the same. They were both met with a sharp hit to the ribs from Pavlenko's men, which caused Alexa to taste blood in her mouth.

"Now, now. Hurry along. We have a lot of unfinished business to take care of," Pavlenko said, walking briskly in front of them. Alexa could only glare at his retreating figure, feeling the same loathing she had felt as a child rising up again. As they stood up together and began to walk, she felt Q's fingers brush against hers.

Alexa let out a quiet sigh and squeezed his hand gently, with a gleam of renewed determination in her gaze. Years of uncertainty and fear were coming down to this single moment, and it was natural to be intimidated by it. Yet with him, she was ready to face whatever turmoil lay ahead to make their desired future a reality.


	38. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been seven days, but I really couldn't resist! Here is the newest chapter of Agent Chetiri. And remember that after this, there's only one chapter left!
> 
> This chapter gets pretty intense, by the way, so I hope you enjoy it!

_Love is a battle. Love is a war, and a growing up._

**_-James A. Baldwin_ **

* * *

The lights of the boiler room flashed dimly once before illuminating the chamber with a bright white light. Pavlenko walked in without a second glance at the equipment and barked an order at his remaining men to force them inside. Alexa hit the side of the door roughly and winced as the gun behind her jabbed itself at her ribs. They pushed Alexa and Q into the centre of the room, knocking aside any guns that they had to the wayside. Q grunted in pain as the guards behind him jabbed a gun against his back and watched as Pavlenko kicked Alexa down to fall onto her knees.

"It's been too long, Alexandra," Pavlenko smirked, pulling her chin up to look at him. Alexa struggled as the guards held her grip, and she glared at the man in front of her. Rarely did Q see such a look of intense loathing on her face, and it was a look that reminded him that this woman was a trained assassin and that she would never forget that side of her.

"And you wonder why I never chose to visit," she said sarcastically. "Not exactly a welcome, is it?"

"My dear, I'm certain you know that if there's anything I detest more in this world, it's surprises and bad behaviour," he chuckled mockingly. Without warning, his demeanour changed, and he picked her up by the collar with a cold glare. She struggled against him and received a sharp blow to the back that caused her to cry out.

"And your proxy virus, your behaviour, your killings, and your lover," he snarled. "certainly fit my pet peeves to a tee."

Pavlenko tossed her to the ground roughly, her shoulders hitting the ground as the impact caused her to crumple against the floor. A flash of anger sparked through his eyes, and he picked her up again to land two punches onto her jaw. Pavlenko shoved her to the ground again and kicked her ribs repeatedly, spouting off a slew of vulgarities towards her. He grabbed a nearby chain from the boiler room components and slashed it across her back, causing her to let out an agonizing scream. Q immediately struggled against his captors reached for Alexa, calling her name as he watched her go down. "Stop this!" Q said firmly, his hand falling onto Alexa's left shoulder.

Pavlenko's eyes narrowed as they flickered towards Q, and he folded his arms across his chest. "You must be the lover," he sneered. "Miracle that you stayed with her, really, especially after all of her sins. Do you know what's she's done?"

"I don't particularly want to," Q said, looking nonplussed.

"Oh, but you really must," Pavlenko said, sounding amused. "She's run the whole gamut—from blowing up the hospital where the sickly President of Argentina lay, blackmailing the primary candidate for Chancellor in Germany, and leaking the files for nuclear technologies to the underground parties. Hundreds of lives—men, women, children—meant nothing to her. How can you love her, after discovering her former intentions?"

Q took a moment to answer, his expression stoic and unreadable, but quickly finalized his response in his mind. He had a plan in his mind to keep Alexa alive to finish the job with him as the distraction. It was risky (and had a 75% probability of costing him his life), but it was the only chance he had at letting her finish everything.

"It was you who ordered her to be stolen away and to eliminate each target that stood in your way. I'd say that those sins and intentions were altogether yours; you just weren't strong enough to accept the gravity of your desires to do it yourself," Q said mockingly. Pavlenko's face turned crimson, and he landed a punch onto Q's jaw, causing him to flinch.

"I see what you're like. You're insolent like your dame here," he sneered. "You talk like a big boy, but all you do is hide behind your hubris and your words."

"I would say that you're no better," Q smirked, his heart pounding as the words came out of his lips. Pavlenko's eyes flashed with anger, and Alexa watched as he jabbed Q against the side of the head with the sharp end of his pistol, causing him to cry out as blood seeped down his cheek.

"You rude little bastard," Pavlenko snarled as he kicked Q in the ribs. For a moment, his vision blurred, and he sank to his knees. Pavlenko landed a swift and forceful kick onto Q's back that knocked him to the ground. As he struggled to free himself from Pavlenko's guard, he heard Alexa thrashing against the men restraining her.

"No! Pavlenko, stop!" she screamed. It was a sound that caused his heart to twist painfully in his chest, and she could not hide the desperation in her voice.

"It's just like before, isn't it? Just like with your dear mummy and daddy. Too bad you can't do anything about it—again," he smirked. "Every person you've ever loved or tried to protect dies at your hands. It really is no different this time around."

 _Come on, Alexa, attack him while I'm down_ , Q thought frantically as he heard Pavlenko speaking. He let out a grunt as he was tossed roughly against the floor and winced visibly as he attempted to endure a series of blows dealt to him. A final blow to the chest with the chain caused him to shout in pain, and he saw Alexa struggling to reach for him. She screamed in frustration as the larger men held her down and restrained her. Q's vision blurred for a moment, but he could see the tears streaming down her cheeks.  _Come on, Alexa,_  he thought as he did his best to motion at her, but it was too late. Her movements began to slow and she finally remained still against her captors, causing Q to groan slightly.

Damn it. It was too late.

She had decided on taking a different route to keep Pavlenko from killing both of them, one mainly involving manipulation. "Stop this. Please. Your fight is with me, not him," she pleaded.

"Ah, but you see? This, my dear," he smirked as he motioned towards Q. "is why the heart is a painful infirmity. It causes us to feel, to care, and to be foolish enough to risk everything we have on a single human being. So what are you willing to risk for him?"

She was silent for a long moment, as if the words were caught in her throat. Alexa caught Q's eye from his position next to her. Alexa could see him glaring at her, almost as if he was telling her not to say it, but it was part of her plan. She would have to play along to finish the job.

"Tell me what you want," she said, looking crestfallen.

"Alexa, don't!" Q protested. The man behind him aimed a punch at his back, causing him to choke on his words and fall forward again.

"Tell me what it is that you want, but leave him out of this," she said, sounding weary. "Your fight is with me, not him."

"You're sacrificing so much for this one man," he chuckled. "How quaint. But let me explain what it is that we wanted."

"Fire away," Alexa said, feeling empty as she stared up at him.

"Hmm. Did you see those guards in the lower floor in the courtyard?" Pavlenko smirked.

"I saw them, but they tried to kill me," Alexa said, looking nonplussed. "It was only fair to return the favour."

"But did you see the men hanging around each one with a blank gaze in their eyes?"

"Of course, but I thought nothing of it," Alexa said, glaring at him. "What are you trying to say?"

"My dear, there's no need to be impatient," he chuckled.

"Never call me that again," Alexa snarled. Pavlenko's eyes narrowed, and he punched her across the cheek before pulling her up by the neck.

"Each guard here was trained to be just like you, but there was always a little something that they were missing. There was always something that they could not attain, something that we believe we could gather from examining you," Pavlenko said.

"And for the dead-eyed, slack-jawed fellows you saw over there? We called Katja in for them. Even her genetic prowess couldn't improve them enough to gain a chance of nabbing the Agent Chetiri title. They never reached a higher level in fighting, no matter how much we experimented on them," he sighed as he let go. She couldn't hide the look of horror out of her eyes, and she found herself trembling.

"You...did what?" she said.

"You know what I said. We tried experimentation on them, but nothing helped. They couldn't handle it and went mad, leaving no choice but to lobotomize them," he said almost casually, if not flippantly.

"Those are living, breathing human beings, Pavlenko!" Alexa said indignantly. "You can't just play with their lives, alter who they are! They all possess life, and their humanity isn't something that you can just toy with!"

"Humanity? Oh, dear, I'm afraid that's not correct, Alexa," he said with a slow, mocking laugh. "You of all people should know that humanity does not exist for those here. We extinguish that bright spark of life in their eyes until it's completely gone. They turn into something useful then, doing only what we tell them to do."

"And what do you tell them to do?" she replied, the words escaping her lips quicker than her mind could process the thought. Alexa had an inkling feeling that she already knew what he would say, but she hoped that maybe, just maybe, she would be wrong. Maybe they wouldn't be tortured, or killed. Maybe they would have at least some choice in where their lives would go.

"You know the answer all too well. I'm sure you remember some of the rules. Rule one is to be devoid of feeling. We also say to them that there is no choice; they do not get to decide. I personally told them today that humanity does not exist here in the Bolshoye base. I said them that they are ours to control, that they are devoid of the identity they had before. They cannot choose, nor become attached. Attachments to anything mean that you will be forced to sacrifice your life for someone who may not even return the favour. They're perilous and lead to nothing but trouble. You obviously ignored that rule, didn't you?" he said, his eyes drifting towards Q. She was silent for a long moment before she looked over at Pavlenko once again.

"A man told me once that hearts do break. People die at some point, so caring is a rather nasty little liability. Get in too deep and you end up getting hurt more than the other person does. I know that one for a fact," she said softly. Her voice found renewed conviction, and she fixated her steely gaze towards Pavlenko.

"I've grown up trying not to love. You even raised me in a world that told me loving someone will only get you killed. But when it came to him, I just couldn't resist. I had to try, just once, to at least get a feel of what it felt like to care, are and to be cared for. I put my life down willingly to protect someone I loved and I'll never regret it," Alexa said. Q, despite knowing that he could be killed at any given moment, still smiled at her heartfelt statement, and she responded with a small smile of her own. Although it seemed like a small gesture to Pavlenko, it shed a small ray of light on their current situation, and it gave her courage to continue speaking.

"Yet I know that matters like this come with a price, and from your little story earlier, I see what it is," she said softly. "You want me for experimentation or whatever other reason."

"Bravo, my dear. Yet you and I both know that it's not going to be that simple," he smirked, folding his arms across his chest.

"It would be beneath you to make it that easy," she said, her eyes narrowing. "I can only guess at what you have planned once you have me—you'll examine me, torture me, and use my abilities until I have reached the point where I have outgrown my purpose. Then, you'll desecrate me and everything I stand for in the most humiliating way possible. Am I correct?"

"Very good. You're learning quickly," Pavlenko said with a carefully crafted smile. "Are we to make a deal now?"

"No," Q said suddenly, managing to get up from the ground. "Alexa, don't try to-"

The look he was met with was enough to make him stop in the middle of his sentence. Her eyes, which had previously held a look of fury, had a resigned look that gave Pavlenko the impression that she was giving into his demands. Yet with such a submissive gaze lay an undertone of determination that Q saw, telling him that this wasn't over yet; she still had something up her sleeve to turn the tides to their favour.

"I'll make you a deal, Pavlenko. I will go with you and do whatever you ask of me, only if you let Q go and stay away from him forever. If you so much as look at him in the wrong way, the deal will be nullified, and I will not hesitate to kill you," she said. Pavlenko looked at her for a moment and burst into laughter.

"You really are submitting yourself to me for this one man. How lucky you must be," he chuckled, glancing at Q. His laughter died down, and he tilted his head slightly to look at Alexa. "But there is one thing I do want."

"Name it," she said, the words rolling off her lips with a hint of nervousness. Alexa could feel Q glaring at her, but they both understood the gravity of this decision. It was one of the quickest ways to distract Pavlenko.

"Disable the proxy virus and give all files back to me. If you do, I will stop all the videos that I've been releasing, and I will take charge of all information concerning you. Deal?" he said. Alexa knew that he was doing this as a blackmailing technique and that he would certainly release the videos and information once she had outlived her purpose. It would destroy her entire image, and it would undoubtedly humiliate her into non-existence. Nevertheless, she swallowed her fear and looked up at him.

"It's a deal," she said, shifting slightly. Her body ached, but she knew that she could still break both men's grip from behind her if she caught them off guard. "Are you wondering where the files are?"

"But of course," Pavlenko said. "Where did you keep them?"

"Close to my heart," she said cryptically, glancing briefly at Q. He gave her a small raise of the eyebrows to indicate his understanding and stood by, preparing for anything that could happen. It took Pavlenko a moment to understand her words, but he saw the glint of a chain around her neck. He reached forward to take it, and she swiftly broke the grip of the man behind her, throwing a strong punch to Pavlenko's face that knocked him onto his back.

The other guard near her was quick and fired three shots that bounced off her undershirt. The fabric bent considerably on the last bullet that he fired, and she feared in the back of her mind that it was close to tearing. Alexa jumped up and kicked the other guards behind her down to the floor, knocking the pistol in their hand to the floor behind him. She busied her with the two men, alternating equally to dodge their hits. Alexa winced as she felt a kick hit her in the ribs but pushed back against the guard, tossing him to the floor. She used him as a place of balance and swung her leg around to hit the other man's head. Alexa heard him shout and watched as he backed away from her to go after Q, who was currently engaged in hand to hand combat with the man who had been restraining him.

Alexa caught a brief glimpse of Q as he assaulted the men with a series of kicks and punches. He knocked one man to the floor with his leg forcefully, and she heard the man shout out as he broke his nose from the impact. She blocked a hit with her forearm, which obscured her view from Q. Alexa managed to get her hands on the man's chin and head, and she twisted quickly, watching as the man fell to the floor after hearing a sickening crunch from his neck.

She turned around quickly and watched Pavlenko running towards the main door. Alexa grabbed a gun off the floor and fired at him, but he was gone. Her attention had been diverted towards Pavlenko that she hadn't seen the guard fighting Q turn quickly towards her. Before she could react, Q ducked and landed a swift kick to the man's knees before leaning back to reach for the gun on the floor. As Alexa shot the man aimed for her, Q sprang back up and watched as the bullet he had fired knocked the man off his feet and into a bloodied heap on the floor.

"You're alright," Q sighed in relief as he came to Alexa's side.

"Only because of you. Thank you," she said as she inspected the number of bullets left in the gun. _Four. How disappointing_ , she thought to herself.

"Come on. I saw him head over here," Q said as he led her along. She followed him at the front, her gun pointed outward. She heard footsteps in the distance and the loud sound of a door clanging shut. Alexa presumed that he had gone into the maintenance room and followed him. Q heard three shouts from the south hall, and he realized that they had missed the guards who had been at the gate. The sound of a helicopter in the distance caught his attention, and he let go of Alexa.

"Follow him. I'll hold them off and set detonators upstairs. You should have seven minutes," he said, turning around. Alexa's eyes flashed with fear, and she grabbed him by the arm.

"Wait a minute," she cried, tugging him back. He turned around to face her, and she cupped his chin and gave him a quick kiss. Though it was brief, it was filled with a myriad of emotions that she could not express outwardly. He could sense her fear, her anticipation, and the love she really had for him. Her lips still held that same sweetness as they always did, an unexpected constant that comforted him in the din of the fray. The regular event of a kiss became the unexpected at the moment, and it comforted her to know that he was here, alive and relatively alright, in her arms right now.

"I love you. Please be careful out there," she whispered, her head resting against his shoulder briefly. He could feel her shaking against him, and he kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you," he said as his grip tightened on her, his voice sounding troubled and anxious. "Be careful with Pavlenko. I don't trust you with him."

"I'll handle him. Be careful with the other men."

"I will. Remember your promise," he said as she gave him one last kiss on the cheek before he hurried down the hall. Alexa touched the ring around her neck before she advanced down the hallway again, away from Q. She pushed aside the heavy metal door and found him attempting to climb over the crates towards the window. "Stop!" Alexa shouted, pointing her gun at him. He held up his hands over his head, and Alexa advanced forward.

"You can't escape me. There is nothing left for you," she said, steadying her aim.

"That may be true," he sneered as he stepped out from the boxes. "but both of us know what this means for you. This is what you've been waiting for all these years. One final act of revenge to kill off years of hatred and suffering. This is your way out of this life."

"And I can't fully remove myself from this without one thing," she said as she stepped closer to him. "Give me your drives."

Pavlenko smiled despite himself and let out a light chuckle. "I'll never say where they are. Even if you kill me, the drive will still exist and those videos will still surface. I've robbed you of your only shot at happiness, and in that sense, I still win this," he smirked.

Alexa fired a shot at his left abdomen, and he let out a cry of pain. She marched up to him and slammed him against the crate, her pistol against his forehead. "Tell me where they are!" she shouted angrily. He refused to speak and kicked against her, causing her to hit him roughly with her gun.

"They are in the safest place I know of," he hissed. "You will never see where they are, nor will you ever stop the videos from appearing without them."

"Try me," she snarled. She threw him onto the ground roughly and watched as two rings fell off the chain around his neck. Before he could think about it, Pavlenko was reaching for them and was stopped by Alexa's foot on his hands.

"What's this?" she said as she picked up the two large rings.

"Stop!" he shouted. She found the rings odd, as Pavlenko, to her belief, was not a sentimental man in any sort of way. He had no family and no real reason to care for anything. Alexa came closer and she stared down at the dislodged insignia on the ring, only to see a flash of silver and a small barcode. Her eyes widened, and she held him back as she pulled apart the ring to reveal that it had been a drive after all. Alexa checked the other one, after seeing that it had been a drive as well, and smirked at him.

"Safest place you knew of was always with you," she said dryly.

"Give those back," he said as he used a crate for support to stand up.

"Never," Alexa said as she pointed the gun at him. As she was about to fire the final shot, he lunged at her and knocked the gun away from her. Alexa raised her leg high and hit him in the shoulder, knocking him painfully to the ground. Pavlenko rolled to the side to avoid her foot and grabbed her by the ankle to force her down. She cried out as he attempted to wrestle the rings off her fingers, and he swung around to stand up. Alexa grabbed the gun and fired a quick shot at his leg and pushed up to knock his knees inward. He swatted her arm away as he fell, causing the gun to fall behind him. His chest fell onto her outstretched thigh, and he let out a cough from the impact. She snapped down on his neck and on his knees as hard as she could, causing the body of the vertebrae in his spine to collapse and fracture. He let out a shout, and she dropped him to the floor.

Pavlenko lay coughing on the ground as she heard faint gunshots in the distance. "Who else has this information?" she demanded as she pressed her foot down near the fractured area. He let out a shout of pain and trembled beneath her.

"It was only here, nowhere else. I came by only a...few times to send the videos from our server," he wheezed. Her plan was quickly changing, and she knew how to send him off properly. She smashed her foot against the fractured area and heard him scream.

"Lie to me again, and you'll feel even more pain than that," she hissed.

"There is nothing left. I was the only one with this information," he said, his voice sounding weaker than before. "Azarov and Zharkov were never interested in taking this for themselves, and Katja let me handle this matter."

"Then this is the end," Alexa said gravely as she stepped off of him. He turned and looked up at her as she stood up and began to chuckle. His peals of laughter grew louder and louder, making her feel uneasy.

"Look at you," he said as he looked up at her. "So beautiful, yet so cruel. You've become everything I dreamed of this program to produce."

"And I am stepping away from this life for good," she said firmly. "This was never the future I wanted, and I'll take the chance to make my own."

"Ah, yes. Yet starting over will never be so simple, with the weight of your sins on your shoulders," he chuckled. "Never forget what you were raised to be."

"Yes," she said softly. "And in a way, you're right."

"Oh?"

"I will never forget this side of me—the killer, the liar, the criminal. The lives I have taken will remain with me for life," she said quietly. "Yet it stands for another reminder as well; to keep moving, for there is another future out there that we can revel in, one that can make us change to accept the pains of our beginnings."

"Such pretty words," he sighed. "only to hide the monster inside of you."

Pavlenko paused for a moment upon hearing the footsteps from outside and looked up at her. "Go ahead, then. I know what you're going to do," he said as he looked at her. "Kill me, but know this: I won. You've taken lives, liberties, and other necessities away from others. I tainted you, and you've become exactly what I wanted you to be. You're nothing but a daemon wearing an angel's halo."

This thought caused her to chuckle lightly and distract her from the footsteps at the doorway. "Oh, Andrei. I've been told about this before, and it's become a stark, if not bleak, reality to me. I may be on the side of the angels, but I am certainly not one," she sighed as she bent down to look at him. He watched as she set down a device on the floor a long way from him, and he stared at it.

"But wait, what are you..." he began.

"Don't think that I don't know what room we're in. The tanks in the crates back there are filled with fuel. All it needs is a spark to send everything ablaze," she said. His eyes widened with fear as she pulled out a lighter and held it up for him to see.

"No!" he shouted, edging away from her. "You aren't really going to-"

"I will," she said, her tone cold and unforgiving. "After all, it was you who started the spark; it should only be fitting for you to go out the same way. It was a pleasure for you to take everything we had, to burn each bridge of ours. For once, you had true power, and you felt as if nothing could stand in your way. And now, you will perish slowly here in the flames of your pride, your cruelty, and your dream of bending others to your will. Then you will finally understand how it feels to fly so close to the sun only to fall to the sea in flames, abandoned and alone."

A sense of hopelessness fell over him, and he felt a sense of intense loathing flood his body. "You're a bitch," he spat out bitterly.

"Чтобы ваш рушится наследие," she said as she dropped the flame onto his suit. "Прощай навсегда."*

She activated the detonator and ran towards Q, who had been watching her quietly for the past few minutes. "Come on, the helicopter's waiting," he insisted. Pavlenko let out a cry of pain as the fire brushed against his skin, and he dragged himself forward painfully, his hand darting out for the gun without a second thought. He fired quickly at Alexa, and she let out a cry as she felt the fabric from her shirt finally give way to let in a searingly painful sensation from the bullets. Pavlenko could only grin in satisfaction as he watched her stumble and heard Q yell.

"I'll see you in hell," he said before the flames picked up speed and began to consume him, leaving him to do nothing but perish.

* * *

Q saw Alexa stumble and rushed toward her, fearing for her life. He had seen one hit her in the chest, and filled him with anxiety. "Alexa!" he shouted, catching her as she crumpled to the ground. She could not say anything and touched the bloodied spots near her chest. Alexa only snapped out of her shock as she began struggling in her breathing.

"Oh god, n-no," she stuttered, gasping and trying to catch her breath.

The world was a blur, and she could not think clearly. Q picked her up and ran as quickly as he could towards the exit. "Shit, shit, shit," he muttered under his breath as he kicked open the back entrance. The scent of smoke from the burning room behind him filled his lungs, and he ran out, wanting nothing more than to get to the helicopter. He rushed out of the building and bolted across the snow towards the helicopter. Q heard the explosions behind him but chose not to look back, his mind focused on getting her towards the medical evacuation helicopter. He ran in and shouted a frantic order to the woman in the back, who helped him set Alexa onto the stretcher. Blood flowed down her shirt, and she stared up at the bright light above her as the helicopter took off.

"Is it...that bad?" Alexa mumbled, struggling to speak. She felt a rag on her shoulder and began to cough.

"It certainly isn't good. There were two shots—one at the subclavian artery and the other in your lung, only inches away from your heart," Q said, with both panic and pain evident in his voice. "The point is, I don't know and that's a terrible feeling to have right now."

Despite her state, he heard her emit a genuine laugh before coughing. Alexa tasted blood on her lips, and she wiped it aside, not wanting him to see. "I should've known better," she said. "than to ask a pragmatist."

Q echoed her light chuckle, but it was mirthless in response. It sounded melancholy, and he could not erase the emotion he felt as his heart wrenched painfully in his chest.

She gasped slightly as she felt the nurse inject a needle into her veins. The world seemed around her seemed so rushed, and everyone's movements looked frenzied and unnatural. Yet in a few moments, the world seemed more faraway, as if their quick motions were blurred in the haze. Nothing felt real, and she began to sink back into the one stable, safe thing that she could cherish—the past.

Fragments of memories throughout her life and her time with Q raced through her mind as she stared up towards the ceiling. Thoughts of stolen kisses, the warmth of his love, a fight about speculated infidelity, her flirtations into danger, and everything they had gone through flashed through her brain like a beam of light that made one definitive glint before it made way for another. The moments varied from the good to the bad, but they were beautifully human moments nonetheless, and they were her treasures to keep for eternity.

"I tried to protect the c-chance of making a nice little life of our own, but...I never realized we made one already," she said, smiling softly as she did her best to tighten her grip on Q's hand. "Nice little life we had, huh?"

"And I want you around to finish the rest of it," he said firmly. "Do you hear that, Alexandra Nikolova? Don't you dare die on me now."

She could see him trembling in the light, and her heart twisted painfully in her chest from emotion. Alexa let out a cry as a flash of pain stabbed through her lungs, smothering her. It was a pain that pressed deeply into her chest, making her heart feel like a bird trapped in a small cage.

"I...I really don't know," she confessed, tears beginning to fall on her cheeks as she involuntarily trembled on the stretcher. "It hurts, Q. I c-can't breathe-"

"Alexandra, no. Please, I'm begging you. Don't leave me alone again," he said, his voice sounding small and faraway as his fingers brushed against her face. In the shadow of the lights, she saw him as a terrified young boy again, and she thought she saw tears forming in his eyes.

"I don't know," she said, choking back a sob. "I faked it so many times then, but I...c-can't tell anymore, and I've never been so afraid. I don't know, Q. I am so sorry."

"Don't. Please. Don't cry like that," he said, a wrenching feeling in his gut arising at her display of fear. She was crumbling in his hands, and it terrified him to see her like this. A flash of white hot pain shot through her body, and she let out a cry of agony.

"Don't let me die here," she choked out. "It hurts-"

"Don't think of it. Distract yourself from it," he said, his words feeling as hopeless as the situation could allow them to be.

"Then kiss me. Make it go away. P-please," she stammered softly, squeezing his hand with considerably less vigor than before. "One more time...like you always do."

She caught a glimpse of a sad smile on his face and felt his hand brush against her hair. He bent down to kiss her on the forehead but quickly stopped himself. Instead, his lips brushed against hers and pressed down gently. Gone was the familiar, safe taste of cherry lip balm on her lips; instead, her lips were tainted with the coppery taste of blood, something he associated with danger and death.

"You stopped," Alexa said as he pulled away. "Why?"

"I was always told that a kiss on the forehead is one you save for the dead," Q said softly. "I don't feel like taking chances on that one this time."

"Well, I have a...request for you," she said, her voice only slightly louder than a whisper. "If I die...promise to kiss my forehead. I'll feel it.

She heard him choke back a cry as he chuckled softly. They had watched that same theatre production on a date, and it seemed ironic that was the only quote she could recall. "Now is hardly the time to think of that, Alexa," he said.

"You said it yourself, pragmatist," she said. "I'm just...thinking of the odds, that's all."

"Don't think about them," he replied as the woman beside him instructed him to press a rag onto Alexa's wound. She told him quickly to keep Alexa's attention in order to keep her awake on the way to the hospital. He lifted her gloved hand as he pressed the rag against her body and slipped off the long chain around her neck, causing the diamond ring to glint in the light. "Think about your promise instead, about our future."

The world began to blur and spin as she blinked. Everything sounded strange, so foreign, but she pushed herself to focus on his words. "We could get married in the fall," she mumbled, her voice sounding faraway. "A proper English affair...at your mother's place. Pretty h-house she has. And then, we could...go."

"Where?" Q said as he clung to her hand. The nurse injected a syringe into her veins, and her vision began blurring in and out of clarity again.

"Anywhere. We'll just...go away. It'll be a honeymoon where no one...would bother us," she smiled as she placed her fingertips on his cheek. "No danger...no work...just us."

"And of the future?" he said. He watched her eyelids dropping slightly and shook her gently.

"Alexa, stay awake," Q said firmly. "What of the future?"

"Most of it's up to pure chance," Alexa mumbled softly. Her gaze shifted to him and through her dropping eyelids, she looked at him somewhat shyly. "But we could have a child...if it's not bothersome."

Her words sparked an unprecedented feeling of joy in his heart, and he relished the thought of having a child to call their own. "A child of our own is something I wouldn't mind at all. It would be a blessing, not a bother," he said softly, an unexpected smile appearing on his face.

She nodded with a soft smile on her face, as her body became increasingly fatigued. "We could have a little boy...witty and intelligent like his father," she said.

"Or a little girl, brave and talented like her mother," he replied.

"Or both," Alexa mumbled. "Anything is possible...in our beautiful little future, and we would be happy."

"It will be possible, as long as you're alive," he reminded her as he squeezed her hand gently. "Alexa, just hang on a little longer, alright?"

She did not seem to hear his last few words as a series of images flashed through her feverish mind. One particular image that stirred her emotion was of a young curly haired boy and a little girl playing and laughing in their home as she watched them with Q on the sidelines. It was a dream that she worked unconsciously towards for years, and she had never fully recognized it until now. A family was all she had wanted in the first place, and there was a chance that she would never be able to make one of her own. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she realized this thought, and she found herself angry at the fact that she could be robbed of this chance to be happy. Her eyes filled with angry tears, and Q felt her hand clench tightly against his.

"I've never wanted anything...more than that future, Q," she mumbled through gritted teeth. "A chance to be happy, loved, and to never live in fear...I want it so much but I don't know."

"She's slipping," the woman behind him called, attempting to stop the flow of the blood that was coming out of her body. "Try to keep her awake!"

"Alexa, stay calm," he echoed, as if the words were an attempt to calm both of them. He glanced over at the bright lights of Savinsky in the distance and squeezed her hand.

"Just hang on," he pleaded, looking more terrified than she had ever seen him. "Alexa, please. We're nearly there. Don't leave me-"

It appeared as if she did not hear him. Her mind was fading in and out of conscious thought, and her thoughts felt jumbled and confused. She began to think of what she had done in her life, and what she would have to leave behind if she didn't make it. The thought terrified her and left her feeling trapped, but she could not find the will to scream. The blood coming out of her body numbed her, causing her world to blur dangerously. At that moment, she realized that she had to face her feared, yet possible reality head on. In her last moments of conscious thought, she placed her hand on his cheek and smiled at him.

"I love you, Q." she said, her voice only a little louder than a whisper.

"Alexa, please. Don't think, even for a moment, of doing this to me," he said in a low tone. He saw the tears in her eyes and knew that she didn't want this to happen, but had to face the reality of this possibility. She tried to tighten her grip, but only ended up with a light squeeze.

"I love you. I'm s-sorry," were the last words she heard herself repeating amidst his shouts of fear before the world faded into a numbing and peaceful darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translation: To your crumbling legacy, goodbye forever.
> 
> Aha! And the plot thickens! Will she live or will she die? Will they achieve that beautiful little future they've wanted, or will Q be forever alone again?
> 
> Also, I gotta warn you—I might not be updating in a little bit. I'll be a bit busy this week, and I want to make this last chapter great, so I'll be updating in a week or so. In the meantime, drop a review and stay tuned to find out if she lives or dies!


	39. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four months later, and I finally finished it! Sorry for the long wait, but life caught up to me in the meantime.
> 
> Anyway, here's the last chapter! I won't give anything away yet for the ending, but I hope you guys like it. I am grateful for all of your support. You guys are fantastic, and your support (if I may reiterate) is the backbone of this story's success. Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Alright, here we go!

_It all just disappears doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. But times change and so must I...we all change. When you think about it, we are all different people, all through our lives, and that's okay. That's good! You've got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be._

**_-The Doctor_ **

* * *

**(December 22— 8:12 AM)**

_Seven years later..._

A ray of sunshine enshrouded in the morning mist glinted through the trees as three figures walked through the snow. The air was cold against their faces, their lungs breathing in the chill before letting it out in a puff of smoke. Despite the calmness of the scenery, the air felt charged and invigorating, as if it was signaling the dawning of a recurring event.

"Daddy, come on," one of the smaller figures insisted as he tugged the man along. He was small, yet he was a quick and strong-willed boy with a sense of impatience unlike any other. His unruly brown curls bounced as he continued on, his eyes flashing with a keen, continuous curiosity. Q, who was this young boy's father, peered down at him through his worn wire-rimmed glasses.

"Max, you don't even know where we're going," Q replied, looking amused.

"Do so!" Max exclaimed, looking indignant as he walked back up to them.

"Alright, then. Lead the way, captain. Elena and I will catch up," he chuckled, ruffling his son's hair affectionately. The boy flashed a grin to the girl next to Q that caused the girl to tug on her father's arm. When Q did not respond, the girl next to him could not hold back and broke free to follow her little brother.

"Daddy, you're too slow," she complained impatiently, rushing forward suddenly. Elena was the older of the two children, and she had the same unruly brown curls as her brother. Her eyes were a sharp shade of blue-green, and she looked up at him accusingly.

"You're both too quick for me. Slow down, at least," he chided in response.

"We are," she said, smirking proudly. "Because you're old."

Her refreshing frankness never failed to make him chuckle, and he quickened his step. "Come now, Elena, I'm not too old to keep up with both of you," he smirked. His two children, of course, were eager to test his mettle and darted into the snow covered path without a second thought.

After quickly deciding to hang back, he stared at the figures in the distance, and his mind drifted off as he walked. It had been a year since he had last visited, and it was good to come by. Being so far from home meant that it was harder to come here, but he never saw that as a reason to stay home. Besides, his children would pester him about it if he didn't come here with them each year.

Q approached the clearing and stood at the front of the small, wide obelisk that was about as tall as his chest. His children stood around it, dusting off the snow that had fallen on the marker. It was a memorial that had several names and a poem inscribed into it.

**Dmitri Pyotr Nikolov**   
_(Feb. 5, 1959- Dec. 22, 1989)_

**Natalia Korolyeva Nikolova**   
_(Jun. 22, 1959- Dec. 22, 1989)_

_**Though nothing can bring back the hour** _   
_**Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower;** _   
_**We will grieve not, rather find** _   
_**Strength in what remains behind.** _

The final name inscribed on the small pillar always struck him with a pang of curious emotion as he looked at it, and he could only shove his hands in his pockets and stand quietly as he examined it. On impulse, he stepped forward and brushed his fingers across the marble, which was was polished and smooth to the touch, but the marble tablet was as lifeless and cold as it could be. Q's slim fingers drifted over the chiseled inscription as he began tracing each letter that spelt out one name:

**Alexandra Zarya Nikolova**

The words on the stone left him with a rather unusual feeling, and he did not quite know what it meant. Looking at the name on the marbled stone never failed to strike a feeling of anxiety in his heart as he remembered the events of that fateful night, and a wave of sadness never failed to follow. Yet even with his emotions, it was his custom to always read the poem inscribed in the stone, and his children had already anticipated that it was coming.

"We can burst the bonds which chain us, which cold human hands have wrought," he began, his voice quiet and his eyes cast to the ground. "And where none shall dare restrain us, we can meet again in thought."

In a rare moment of tranquility, no words were exchanged between him and his children. There was a quiet air of contemplation, as if Q was reflecting on the past. As he watched his children set down two bouquets of fresh flowers, his mind flashed back to the day he had left this home seven years ago with her—Alexa. Things had been so frenzied and hectic then, and he wondered how they had been able to work through each obstacle they had faced.

Q chuckled softly despite himself, shoving his hands deeper into pockets. There had been a little less at stake then (not to say that the risks weren't already high back then). He was younger and a tad more careless then, and he figured that was how they had gone against her world together without hesitation. As he stood there, he looked back on the events that had unfolded with wiser, if not more melancholy eyes.

In a way, the raid of the Bolshoye Base had made him realize the gravity of occupation. Q had known before of the dangers that could come with being the Quartermaster of the MI6, but he had never really experienced the weight of this pressure personally. For years, there  
had been no human aspect of his career (save for his earlier years of deviance). He had always been hidden behind a computer, effectively detaching himself from the deaths he could cause or prevent. Yet by opening himself up to someone else (an inevitable event, he mused, as Alexa had quickly and easily stolen his heart), the stakes grew higher, and his emotions began to surface. Gone was the detachment from feeling and "ends justify the means" mindset that his occupation required. Instead, the two had become entwined into a dangerous mixture of attachment and emotion, as he had something more to protect than himself.

And he felt that he had never been able to protect it properly.

Q's eyes filled with a sudden flash of guilt as he stood in front of the gravestone. It was true—they had both been greenhorns to the concept of love. The blame was equally balanced between them, but he knew that he was the reason why she had shed a few tears. It pained him to know that sometimes he had not been able to shield her from harm, like that night at the Bolshoye Base.

Oh, how things could have been different if he had remained with her! It had been a split second decision for him to go upstairs that night to set the detonators, and he wondered what things would have been like if he had stayed. Maybe she would have never found the drives, or Pavlenko would have escaped. It was a pity, he thought, that he left the one he loved vulnerable to such a small slip that caused him nothing but anxiety and pain. He was almost certain that he would have found out more about the sins of her youth if he had stayed, but those matters were of little concern to him.

It seemed rather cruel to say, but he wasn't particularly interested in whose blood she spilt in the past. It wasn't because he was afraid of it; rather, he accepted that those deaths had been part of her cruel way of survival. She had dwelt on the matter from time to time, but she always kept it as a reminder to keep moving forward.

Move forward, he thought, the words echoing in his mind. The words left a nostalgic feeling through his body, and he realized that these words could aptly describe Alexa.

Her mind, though able to make the necessary coherent and logical decisions, was much like a bird that could become disinterested if trapped in a routine for too long. He knew for a fact that she needed purpose; she had an insatiable desire to keep moving forward to experience new, different (and at times unexpected) challenges. That was the main reason she had taken his offer for a job at the Q-Branch in the first place, after all. With this, she was curious, bright, and vivacious, which were all qualities that he found hard to ignore.

Alexa was irresistible in his eyes for this reason, and she was a treasure that he regretted neglecting to protect at times. Her bright smile, contagious laugh, and even something as small as the way she would pout as she struggled with a problem were some of many quirks that he couldn't get enough of. Q especially loved the taste of her cherry lips against his and relished the electric feeling of her skin at his touch. She was daring, quick, and always told him to keep moving, even in the face of adversity. In a way, he had heeded her words and looked back on the night of the raid of the Bolshoye Base as a pivotal moment of change and growth. Despite the men and women they had killed that night, he remembered the gravity of the situation and what they had been fighting for. He remembered her unyielding desire to end the program once and for all, and life began to move on as he began to move on from the incident as well.

Yet here he was.

Moving on and going back to the beginning. How hypocritical I must be, he chuckled to himself. Life had indeed moved on after that incident, resulting in a marriage, the birth of his daughter, Elena Holmes, and the birth of his son, Maximilian Holmes. Yet life did not seem to take him away from that path of danger, even after his children had been born. He could never quite step away from the danger and excitement that his job provided, even when filing for a leave from the MI6 for a solid two months. In a matter of weeks, he had reported back for work and set himself on that path once more. It was like being back at the starting line of a race, but Q didn't mind. His life was different, but he relished its unusual aspects. It was never boring, and he cherished the fact that he and his family was alive and well today.

A sound in the distance snapped him out of his reverie, and he glanced down at his children. They had turned to look at the source of the noise as well, and Q saw his daughter's eyes light up. He could hear his wife calling in the distance, and the crunching of the snow grew louder as she drew near.

His wife settled next to him, her cheeks a rosy shade of pink from the morning air. Her eyes were bright with life, and it relieved him to see her healthy like this. She looked as lovely, if not lovelier, than before. Motherhood had been wonderful for her, as it had given her an outlet to share her vivacity. Going between her job and running after their two children gave her a spark of energy (with the occasional moments of fatigue), and it made him smile to see how happy she was. Q watched as she bent down to look at both of their children.

"Sorry I'm late," she said breathlessly. "What did I miss, you two?"

Immediately, the air was filled with excited chatter from the children next to her. She could not figure out who was addressing her question and decided to be general in the response.

"Well, thank you for both of your help today," she replied gently, squeezing their hands as she stood up. "I appreciate your help. Even just being here with you means a lot to your father and I."

"Why?"

The question had slipped out of Elena's lips, and she looked up at her mother with curious eyes. "Mummy, why do we come here?"

Elena watched as her mother's eyes drifted from the gravestone to Q. Elena's mother was well aware of what had happened to make them come to Kodino each year and what being here meant to Q. It was a matter that became a topic of comfortable conversation to them, as she had helped ease some of the guilt he felt over the Bolshoye Base attack. It was the least she could do for him, in her eyes, and she almost forgot that their children didn't understand this event fully yet. "We come here to remember," she said gently.

"Remember? The people?" Max questioned.

"Yes, but it's more than that," she replied, gazing at the marbled stone. Max watched as his mother bent down to look at both of them, and he saw a small, yet tender smile on her lips.

"We come here to always remember that life, even during hard times, must move forward. It may move forward in ways that we don't choose, that surprise us, or in ways that don't seem right for us," she explained as her hand brushed snow off the inscriptions. Max and Elena's eyes were focused on their mother as she stood near the stone.

"Yet it is your decision to choose new paths to move forward in and to accept that new reality you've chosen, even in times where you realize the consequence of your decision. With that, you'll grow, explore new options, and discover that the path may be growing as often as you are growing," she continued. She paused for a moment, before her eyes drifted over to her children again.

"But we must always remember, like we do each year, that growth comes from learning from previous mistakes, struggles, and regrets. We must always recall the things we have done, the people we have hurt, and the mistakes we have made to change our lives. We come here each year to remember the things we have done to be who we are now because without remembering the past, we cannot learn how to better shape our future," she said softly. "Do you understand?"

The young boy and girl nodded after a moment as her words sunk into their minds. She stood slightly and pressed a kiss to each child's forehead, smiling as she pulled them close to her. "I'm glad you understand, my little darlings," she replied, squeezing her children closer to her.

Q chuckled as he watched the children squirm and squeal in delight as they remained their mother's arms. She spun them around and let out a laugh of her own, her expression reflecting one of pure joy. Q watched her say a few words to their children as his mind drifted off elsewhere, and the children ran towards the direction of a parked car that was being driven by a familiar, older figure. As he watched their children meet the figure, Q crept over to his wife and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Good speech you had," he remarked. "It was worth the effort of driving out here."

"Not like you would have minded coming here anyway," she said, glancing down at the stone. "You aren't keen to let her go, are you?"

"No, and I don't think I ever will," he replied, nudging her gently. "I love her too much to let her go that easily."

"And do you still love her?" his wife said, looking up at him. He could not tell if she was being playful or serious, and her ambiguity always made him wonder if he was ever as vague as she was.

"No matter who she is or what she did in the past, I'll always love her," Q said gently. "Of course, you knew that. I married you after all, didn't I?"

"I did, but you know me," she chuckled. "I love it when you say things like that. It's nice to hear it twice."

"Well then, Mrs. Holmes-" he began.

"Mrs. Holmes is a title that belongs to your mother. Saying Alexa will do, thank you," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Alright...Alexandra," he said, unable to fight the smile off his lips. Hearing her name after all his thoughts on doubt of the past and regret was, to him, a silent testament which reassured him that his doubts were fiction. Alexa was here with him and their family, and she was his to cherish. She saw his smile, but chose not to enquire. Alexa had a feeling that she knew what it meant and decided to leave the better things unsaid.

"I'm your wife. There's no need to be formal with me, after everything that we've gone through," she said gently.

"True. We've been through deaths (several, actually), a marriage, and children. You've supported me, even as I sometimes neglected to support you properly. Sometimes I wonder how you deal with me, and I love you too much to ever let something like this go," he said.

"Honestly, I wonder how you deal with me," she said, entwining her fingers around his. "I've put you through near death experiences, heaps of worry, mood swings, and countless sleepless nights. It's a wonder you stayed!"

"Naturally, you have put me through sleepless nights," he chuckled. "How else would our children have come into existence?"

She let out a genuine laugh and pushed him slightly in his chest. "You're terrible," she said.

"But you laughed anyway, didn't you?" Q retorted.

"Why wouldn't I? I think moments like these are nice, if not, special," Alexa replied, resting her head comfortably against him. "Being a mum, an MI6 operative, and a wife all at the same time doesn't allow much time for many moments like this with you, especially since you have the country's security in your hands. So, I relish any moment like this that we share. What about you?"

"Of course I love these moments with you," he smiled. Q's smile faltered slightly as he remembered something, and it seemed that his grip around her waist tightened as he spoke. "I wouldn't even have these moments if you didn't make it out alive on that night seven years ago, so I'm grateful for each time I get to hold you like this."

She let out a sigh, her eyes shining with keen disapproval. "Sherrinford Holmes, I've been telling you this for seven bloody years now, and I thought I finally eased your guilt. I guess that's not the case, so I'll tell you again. Please don't blame yourself over this. Things might have been different if you had stayed with me, but they would not have gone as well. If you had been closer to me then, Pavlenko could have hit both of us with the bullets. He could have escaped, and we never would have gotten both of the drives. It would have been a lot worse, and it certainly wasn't your fault," she chided.

"You lost a lot of blood that night, from both the wound and emergency surgery. You passed out before we even got to the surgery and stayed unconscious for almost three days with two scars on your chest as a reminder of the whole thing. I really thought that you were going to die," he said, looking unconvinced. "I'd say that's definitely major damage that I wasn't able to do anything against."

"But I survived, and that was the only option we had anyway," she said gently, touching him on the arm.

"Fine," he mumbled, his expression unreadable as his fingers brushed gently against her collarbone. "Maybe that was the only option we had, but that will never take away the fear I felt that night. I really thought you were going to die, and there was nothing I could really do for you."

"Come now, think of all the other dangers you've worked against," she said softly, her fingers squeezing his lightly. "Do you not remember our mission in Sarajevo? The one in Sydney last year? Surely you remember saving me when we went to Oslo and Monaco with Bond."

"Yes, but-" he began.

"But nothing," she said firmly, squeezing his hand. Her gaze was locked onto his with a degree of intensity that was different from the looks she usually directed towards him. "You do so much for me, Q, and I don't think you realize that. You've treaded into danger unfazed, all for me. On top of that, you support me, even if I am more than a bit reckless at times. I wouldn't be here without you, and I really am lucky to have a man like you."

"Besides," she said, her gaze softening. "If you never grabbed me and brought me to the hospital, I would have perished with Pavlenko. Hell, I could have died if you hadn't fought alongside me. Protest all you want, but I'll always remember that it was you who kept me alive. So promise me that you'll never feel guilty over this matter ever again, alright?"

After a few silent moments, he nodded quietly, and she felt him nestle his chin against the back of her neck. "I promise. It won't be easy, though," he said softly.

"With time, it'll be a lot easier," Alexa replied, giving him a small smile.

"I suppose that's true," Q remarked. "New emotions will only come with more time, as well as new events that the future has in store for us."

"New events," she said absently, her mind drifting off. Her brain snapped to attention quickly upon realizing something, and she gazed up at her husband. "One year more, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he replied, shifting his feet slightly. "One more year until your contract with the 00-program ends, and you're out of this business for good."

"I didn't even realize that time had gone by so quickly," she said, blinking in surprise as his words sunk in.

"Time flies when you're chasing after our two little children each day," he smirked. Alexa laughed in response and nodded, curling up against him.

"I like it, though," she replied. "I like building this nice little life of ours. It makes me...happy."

"It's what you've always wanted, isn't it?" Q said gently. She nodded affirmatively, and he found his mind drifting off once more. This was what she wanted all along—a family. The process of getting to where they were now had never been easy, but it had paid off in the end. They had both started their dream of creating a nice little life of their own, and she was nearly out of the espionage business for good. Just one more year, he thought.

"Q," Alexa said suddenly as a thought ran through her mind.

"Yes?" he said, blinking lightly.

"It's funny how life is, isn't it? If I had never been like this, an assassin shaped by the Agency, I would never have met you," she said softly.

"True. The odds of meeting you were unlikely enough, and I don't believe it could have happened any other way, now that I think of it," he said. "The way you're nurtured could incline you towards criminal acts, but that doesn't seal your fate. I reckon that's how you found your way out of that life and made a life of your own."

"Yeah," she said, a small smile appearing on her lips. "You know, I think about that sometimes: what people are really arguing for in the nature versus nurture disagreement. But, you're right when you say that. I don't think they're arguing for what really matters."

"What truly matters," Alexa said as she glanced down at the stone. "is the choice we make. We may not begin with such pleasant beginnings or pleasant natures, but it's if we decide to learn from those past mistakes and also who we will ourselves to become that matters most."

"That path, though desirable, is fraught with danger, isn't it?" Q said, motioning lightly to the tombstone. "Yet we can't let fear slow us down, especially with the events that lie ahead for you. Giving up would be much too easy."

"Of course. We're MI6, after all. We deal with danger and the unknown each day, but that never stopped us," she replied, her lips falling to a close as her mind flashed with thoughts concerning their unknown futures.

She would be easing into the resignation phase from the MI6 soon, yet she did not know exactly what she could do after her contract ended. Life presented new paths for her, which would not result in danger or fear for her life and the lives of her family. She did not quite know where she was going, but she had a feeling that was how her life would always be. The future would always be shrouded in mystery, only giving vague hints of what was to come. It was a concept that she had accepted as a reality, both before and now.

After all, she knew that this had always been the true nature of the future. The future is elusive and amorphous, and it is something that will always come with time, much like the dawning light of the day. Each day, Alexa thought, anyone can catch a glimpse of the sunrise that washes over the darkened hills, sleeping villages, and awakening cities.

Over the years, the sunrise has given a sense of comforting familiarity and constancy in a changing world, as people have learned to expect that the sunrise will always come, much like the future. Yet as they clench their fists tightly to grasp onto the sunlight, to comprehend and gain the power of knowing what exactly will happen next, the sunlight eludes them. It slips through their fingertips soundlessly and effortlessly, leaving them to believe that the future had tauntingly eluded their reach.

Yet the sunlight never eludes them selfishly, nor proudly. It stands as a silent, unyielding testament to a fact of life, crying out that future is not meant to be grasped, nor written in stone before it occurs. Attempting to catch the light of the ever elusive sunrise in order to comprehend it leaves those who grab at it with darkness in the palms of their hands, leaving them to gain truly nothing. And for now, basking in the warm light and letting the future come as it would was enough for her.

"We'll never quite know what things we'll face over the rest of our years," Alexa said as her eyes drifted up to her husband. "But with time, we'll pick and choose the path we want to take and handle what it may bring (whether as husband and wife or as a family), and I couldn't be happier with tackling that with anyone else."

Q smiled at Alexa affectionately before loud shouts and laughter broke their reverie. They turned around to see their small children running back towards them, their cheeks rosy from the cold air. They were racing each other to their parents, and naturally, the older child came out as the victor.

"Mummy, come on," Elena insisted as she went up to her mother. "Uncle says you're slow."

"We're just savoring the moment, Elena," Alexa smiled. "But I suppose we should be going."

The little girl gave her mother a toothy grin and grabbed her father by the arm. Q was assaulted by a string of questions from his children, and he felt himself being tugged along. "Slow down, you two," he chuckled as the pair led him towards the house.

Alexa lingered at the memorial and watched her family in the distance. She smiled lightly at the sight of their joy, and her eyes softened as she realized how fortunate she was to live this way. Her life had not started ideally after the Agency had interfered, but it had not changed her dream of living soundly without living in fear. Being here with a family of her own stood as a testimony to the courage and danger that came with that dream, and she would always hold it dear to her heart.

She looked briefly at the gravesite before speaking lightly under her breath, her lips parting to let the frosted air in. "If only you were both here," she said softly, touching the stone. "You would have loved to meet my little family."

A wave of sadness rushed through her, yet she decidedly shook it off. She would always miss her parents, yet they would never leave her memory. They would be remembered in kindness, and with the events that followed the Bolshoye Base attack served to ensure that their memory would not fade away.

She recalled visiting the children they had rescued that night almost a week after the attack. Alexa had not been close to being physically well at that point, but she had decidedly ignored the warnings of her doctors to speak with the children. No one had known exactly how to explain why the children had been abducted, and they had stayed in government custody for that reason.

It was quiet as she told them of the program that they had inadvertently been assigned to, and explained what had really been happening at that base. No child could easily believe that they were being groomed for something so terrible, leading some children to deny her statement.

"What do you know?", one child had piped up. She distinctly remembered that boy as she had bent down to look him in the eye.

"Many years ago, I saw children like you being put through the same trials, and I never want to see that future for anyone else ever again," she had replied. There had never been an ounce of fear in her voice at that time, but she knew in her mind that she had feared the worst for those children. Adjusting to normal life would not be easy for them but with the correct counseling and support, they would be ready to reveal the operation. to their parents.

Naturally, when they went back to their homes across Russia, the news reached the parents (who later told the news agencies). The media had caught the news that the Operation Chetiri scandal had been wholly true, and it had dominated the top news stories for several months. As Q had initialized his plan, she recovered in the hospital and gained strength to revel in the absence of the Agency. It was as if the chain they had fixed on her to hold her close to them had crumbled into nothing.

She stayed for a month in the hospital recovering and worked with M and Q as they handled the affairs of Operation Chetiri. Alexa had given the Russian government a written testament and most of the files they had and the files they prepared. It had been a rather slow process due to the paperwork, but Q and Alexa worked mutually to feed information to the media of the operation. Alexa watched from afar as the men from the Militsya who had covered up her disappearance were convicted to a life sentence, along with the other men and women involved in Russian intelligence operations who were also convicted under human rights trials, blackmailing, as well as aiding and abetting of a crime.

The communities where the first batch of Operation Chetiri prospectives disappeared had found a sense of peace that finally put the mystery of the lost boys and girls at peace. Many had kept the homes intact and erected small memorials at the homes where the children lived. The people of Kodino had built one for Alexa's family, and with the help of Leo, it was maintained and cared for.

The Holmes family always came to visit each year, without fail. They stayed with Leo, and it was always a very quiet affair. The house was a little far from town, so no one was always around to see that a family was visiting the memorial. Their visits were brief, and they often would leave the town before the day ended. Yet with the brevity of the visits, they still held a deep meaning to both Alexa and Q. Visiting reminded them of all that had happened for them to end up together, and this was something that they felt was important for their children to be aware of. Someday, they would know the truth; for now, remembering the lessons of the event would be fine.

The breeze tugged softly at her sleeves, almost as if to snap her back to reality. Alexa shivered at the chill, which caused her to fold her arms across her chest. She glanced up at the sky, then back at the face of the whitened marble. She had never expected life to turn out like this, but she knew that she would never have grown or experienced a true, unfailing love from another human being if she had let her past decide her future. Yet finally stepping away from the Agency gave her a chance to learn more about what she wanted, not what she was told to want, which left her happy for many years.

As she fostered and raised her family now, she felt that same happiness (if not, abundantly more than what she felt before). With one more year, she would be able to achieve a sense of security and be free to raise her family without the immediate fear of any of her foes attacking them. This was the dream she had only realized that night seven years ago—of loving a family of her own and being loved by them fearlessly. Had she chosen to keep her old name, she would have never been able to keep her family safe for years to come. Life was odd that way; she lived under a new name as Alexandra Holmes right now, yet she would always remember the people she used to be. It was as if the present was honored in a different light while the past was remembered in the same woman. Despite everything, her original dream of safety had become a reality, one that would be hers to cherish.

She smiled lightly at the thought of basking in the reality of her dream. It made her see that the words they had stated long ago, that the Agency's future was all she had, would never be her grave. She had been given something greater, and it was something that truly left her happy. With this, she resolved to always remember the mistakes she made in refusing to let the past dictate her future and the people she hurt to get here with honor, as it was a vital component of her life.

Alexa could only offer a peaceful silence at the memorial before finally stepping away to join her own family. She shoved her hands in her pockets and smiled as she glanced upwards, breathing in the morning air with thoughts buzzing through her brain.

This future that had been given to her was a gift—one that had not been easily given, but was finally here to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's really over! Thank you guys again for reading all 230,000+ words of this story! It's been a wild ride with this first story, and thanks for sharing it with me!
> 
> Take some time to leave a review as well. Take care!
> 
> -cumberwookie

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Drop me some feedback if you can, because it'll help me see what I can do with the next few chapters and I hope you can stick around for that :)


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